And now, for your viewing pleasure, another fine article in the "Best of Slashtrolls" series - This anonymous gem comes to you from the hidden sids... It's not mine originally, but I adopted it.
Roll da flick, Silvia...
Evil Empire Strikes Back (Score:0)
by Anonymous Coward on 5:51 Wednesday 23 August 2000 CST (#4436)
The princess had fallen off her speeder, and now nothing but empty forest surrounded her as she came to.
A slight amount of movement comes from a nearby bush. And out comes a repulsive little furry troll. It carried a spear and spoke in a primative language. It appears startled when the princess tries to befriend it.
Princess Portman: don't be afraid little troll. I will not hurt you.
Ewok troll: F1r5T P05T!!
The princess offers it a candy bar, which establishes some trust between the two.
---
Meanwhile, spiralx is with hemos deep within the defenses of the mega-moderation sheild built on the small moon of Andover.
Hemos: you have much to learn about moderation, my son. When you meet the CmdrTaco, you will learn the true value of moderation.
Spiralx: (whines)
---
A small band of trolls is making tracks through the forest searching for the lost princess. A weird piece of meat hangs from a large tree.
Vladinator: Unghghgaghhh!!
Hans OSM: No!! Shit man, it's only a troll. Don't bite!!
Vladinator: (chomp)
A large net comes up off the forest floor and sweeps the whole group up into a tree. When the group finally gets themselves out of the tree, they find themselves surrounded by a primative group of trolls holding sharp pointy spears.
---
The group finds themselves tied to polls and hanging over bowls of grits. The grits are not yet hot, but the trolls are kindling fires under the bowls. The ewok trolls have an ancient ritual of petrifying all outsiders with hot grits.
...
----
...
CmdrTaco laughs.
CMDRTACO: Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel troll horde.
spiralx looks up sharply.
CMDRTACO: Yes... I assure you we are quite safe from your friends here.
Hemos looks at spiralx.
spiralx: Your overconfidence is your weakness.
CMDRTACO: Your faith in your friends is yours.
HEMOS: It is pointless to resist, my son.
CmdrTaco turns to face spiralx.
CMDRTACO: (angry) Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. (indicates Slashdot) Your friends up there at the secret sid...
spiralx reacts. CmdrTaco notes it.
CMDRTACO: (cont)...are walking into a trap. As is your Rebel troll horde! It was I who allowed the Troll Collective to know the location of the hole in the slashcode. It is quite safe from your pitiful little
band. An entire legion of my best moderators awaits them.
spiralx's look darts from the CmdrTaco to Hemos and, finally, to the keyboard in the CmdrTaco's hand.
CMDRTACO: Oh... I'm afraid the moderation code will be quite operational when your friends arrive.
CMDRTACO:(cont) Come, boy. See for yourself.
CmdrTaco is sitting in his throne, with Hemos standing at his side. spiralx moves to look at a small terminal.
CMDRTACO: From here you will witness the final destruction of the Troll Collective, and the end of your insignificant Rebellion.
spiralx is in torment. He glances at his keyboard sitting on the armrest of the throne. CmdrTaco watches him and smiles, touches the keyboard.
CMDRTACO: You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your MS keyboard. Use it. I am unarmed. Hack me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment, you make
yourself more my servant.
Hemos watches spiralx in his agony.
spiralx: No!
CMDRTACO: It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You, like your father, are now mine!
CmdrTaco, Hemos, and a horrified spiralx watch the viewscreens as yet another troll is bitchslapped to extinction by the merciless moderation.
CMDRTACO: As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the CPU utilization of this fully licensed and operational slashcode. (into comlink) Fire at will, Commander.
If this means they'll get the 1.13 GHz chips working? I mean hey - they could always clock them down to 1 GHz and sell them to IBM for thier new line of systems, the "Approxima". (Bad joke, recycled I know, but hey - it was the first thing that came to mind!).
Re:This sounds like it's EXACTLY what a newbie nee
on
Think Unix
·
· Score: 1
Perhaps you could mail me your registry? I'm at the address above, or wsl3@stlnet.com - I'd sure appriciate the help. If I can get StarCraft running, I'm 1/2 way to getting rid of windows.
Re:This sounds like it's EXACTLY what a newbie nee
on
Think Unix
·
· Score: 1
Actually, I was never slapped. Just modded into oblivion.:-)
I could never get StarCraft to function under WINE. I couldn't even get it to load, even if I pointed it at my existing windows directory. I could never get the fake registry to work. WINE really needs to be able to create all the things it needs to work on it's own, if it doesn't find them. That, or we need a good configuration tool that will do this.... Hmm.... Think I've found my next project...
Re:This sounds like it's EXACTLY what a newbie nee
on
Think Unix
·
· Score: 4
Sigh. The point in a way is that most things from M$ work about the same - not so in Linux. I've found TAR to be user hostile at times. Now that I understand TAR, it isn't anymore - you lack the perspective of struggling to learn something that is initially difficult. You're "There" You have "Arrived" and you "Grok" it. As a result, you don't understand why others have a hard time with it. It's no different than when I was studying medicine in the service - AFTER I had been to school, I always wondered why people had a hard time "getting it" so to speak. I've had good friends and close realitives give me that "deer in the headlights" stare when I talk computers with them - It's all about the level you're at, and how much the person or people you're trying to learn from are willing to share information in a way that you will understand. Case in point: DOS 5 had an EXCELLENT help system. Unix has MAN. I am JUST NOW starting to get useful information from MAN pages - they were TOTALLY incomprehensible to me at first. This is why sites like Linuxnewbie make NHF's (Newbieized Help Files) for people like me - MAN pages don't cut it if you don't already speak the language.
Re:This sounds like it's EXACTLY what a newbie nee
on
Think Unix
·
· Score: 2
Yes, sorry. I should have made that clear. I have no real use for X, as most of the games I like to play (when I have time) don't run yet on X. If StarCraft and Diablo II would run under wine, I'd be alright - but they don't. Also, I've noticed that the distributed.net client doesn't work as well in the GUI as it does in CLI mode on Linux. My old system (Athlon 500 128M ram) which was Slackware 4.0.0 got 1.2Mkeys/sec CLI but only 350~Kkeys/Sec under X. The performance hit was totally unacceptable. Maybe X 4.0.0 will be loads better, but somehow I doubt this. I don't need a GUI to get work done - I'm a lan/wan specialist for DaimlerChrysler. I use PING more than anything else these days, mainly to find IP addresses that contractors steal without permission. One quick DOS on that IP and suddenly I get a call for support. "Hey, I can't see the file server anymore!" "Really? What's your IP address, and who asigned it to you?" He he he.
From the intuitive standpoint, I don't think X is anywhere near up to being as good as it's competition, HOWEVER I think it's strength lies in it's flexability. I was showing the PFS guy at work all the different GUI's that come with Mandrake 7.1 and he was astonished. Too bad it slows the system down so bad. But again, perhaps this is my fault - if it wasn't so hard to learn how to configure things, maybe I could get X to run better. I dunno. I'm going to buy this book (I'm such a sucker for books) and see if it teaches me anything I don't already know.
Re:Two schools of thought
on
Think Unix
·
· Score: 3
Bravo! I couldn't agree more. BTW: Another good book on the topic is AEleen Frich's "Essential System Administration" from ORA. It's not the MOST user friendly book, but it's the best one I've read yet. It helped me MUCH, but we STLL need something like "Unix in a Nutshell" translated more into english.
This sounds like it's EXACTLY what a newbie needs.
on
Think Unix
·
· Score: 2
I've been playing with Linux/Unix/BSD since 1994, and am mostly self taught. Most of my friends think I'm a guru, but I have to tell you, I haven't even earned my benie yet - much less a wizards hat. The system can be so complex, and user hostile at times, that it defy's description. While I'm sure it will never be as easy to use as say DOS 4.0 was, I'm hopeful that one day, it won't be so needlessly complex! That, and we need to loose the attitude "It was hard for me to learn, so bend over and take it like a man!" that we get from the veterens.
... search engines are also able to use this? gPulp/Gnutella clients alone will suck bandwith, but what happens when Yahoo/Lycos/AskJeeves, etc. see this as cutting into thier market share, and decided to do this searching for thier users? One plus to this might be that they could cache such hits, and could allow searching that didn't suck bandwidth, but with the imperminent nature of such connections, I bet they'd do a scan EVERY time someone looked for "Eminem*.mp3" at ftpsearch.lycos.com or some such.
Well, YES - that is true, but that was much much later! Remember - the first five books of the old testament were an oral tradition for well over 150 generations before pen was set to paper. Or quill to papyrus, I should say.
Oh, I don't think there is any question of that, despite what some of the more heritical sects think. Why, even the Pirket avot (which I may not be spelling correctly this late) says something to the effect of "and the sons of the Rabbi's did not hesitate to embelish the works of thier fathers, to more suit thier time and needs."
It was a joint mission: The astronaut who was killed was Chineese, and was aiming his suits mini dish in the general direction of the other ship so as to let them know what happened. Basically, they landed on the surface, and the lights from the ship attracted the pseudo plant life - they were attracted to the light as a source of energy to fuel photosynthysis. The "death" of the ship (and the plants) was purely accidental. The life on europa in the novel showed no sign of intelligence, just life.
IANAL, but: As I understand it, a contract can only be modified if both parties agree. Check everything you signed - They most likely have a clause that allows them to do this. That, or they'll just cancel you if you don't agree.
When I got my Cable Modem, on @Home in San Diego in 1998, there was NO substitute. They absolutely rocked the house. Then, as they expanded to quickly, didn't think about how they were growing their network, didn't secure open mail relays, harrased customers (even threatening to send one to jail - search the archives, it was covered here) and just plain started to suck. The upload rate cap was the beginning of the end - this is another telling sign. I used to ask people "Who would even WANT DSL when cable is available?" and now I know. People like me.
Slashdot Mirror
And now, for your viewing pleasure, another fine article in the "Best of Slashtrolls" series - This anonymous gem comes to you from the hidden sids... It's not mine originally, but I adopted it.
...are walking into a trap. As is your Rebel troll horde! It was I who allowed the Troll Collective to know the location of the hole in the slashcode. It is quite safe from your pitiful little
Roll da flick, Silvia...
Evil Empire Strikes Back (Score:0)
by Anonymous Coward on 5:51 Wednesday 23 August 2000 CST (#4436)
The princess had fallen off her speeder, and now nothing but empty forest surrounded her as she came to.
A slight amount of movement comes from a nearby bush. And out comes a repulsive little furry troll. It carried a spear and spoke in a primative language. It appears startled when the princess tries to befriend it.
Princess Portman: don't be afraid little troll. I will not hurt you.
Ewok troll: F1r5T P05T!!
The princess offers it a candy bar, which establishes some trust between the two.
---
Meanwhile, spiralx is with hemos deep within the defenses of the mega-moderation sheild built on the small moon of Andover.
Hemos: you have much to learn about moderation, my son. When you meet the CmdrTaco, you will learn the true value of moderation.
Spiralx: (whines)
---
A small band of trolls is making tracks through the forest searching for the lost princess. A weird piece of meat hangs from a large tree.
Vladinator: Unghghgaghhh!!
Hans OSM: No!! Shit man, it's only a troll. Don't bite!!
Vladinator: (chomp)
A large net comes up off the forest floor and sweeps the whole group up into a tree. When the group finally gets themselves out of the tree, they find themselves surrounded by a primative group of trolls holding sharp pointy spears.
---
The group finds themselves tied to polls and hanging over bowls of grits. The grits are not yet hot, but the trolls are kindling fires under the bowls. The ewok trolls have an ancient ritual of petrifying all outsiders with hot grits.
...
----
...
CmdrTaco laughs.
CMDRTACO: Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel troll horde.
spiralx looks up sharply.
CMDRTACO: Yes... I assure you we are quite safe from your friends here.
Hemos looks at spiralx.
spiralx: Your overconfidence is your weakness.
CMDRTACO: Your faith in your friends is yours.
HEMOS: It is pointless to resist, my son.
CmdrTaco turns to face spiralx.
CMDRTACO: (angry) Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. (indicates Slashdot) Your friends up there at the secret sid...
spiralx reacts. CmdrTaco notes it.
CMDRTACO: (cont)
band. An entire legion of my best moderators awaits them.
spiralx's look darts from the CmdrTaco to Hemos and, finally, to the keyboard in the CmdrTaco's hand.
CMDRTACO: Oh... I'm afraid the moderation code will be quite operational when your friends arrive.
CMDRTACO:(cont) Come, boy. See for yourself.
CmdrTaco is sitting in his throne, with Hemos standing at his side. spiralx moves to look at a small terminal.
CMDRTACO: From here you will witness the final destruction of the Troll Collective, and the end of your insignificant Rebellion.
spiralx is in torment. He glances at his keyboard sitting on the armrest of the throne. CmdrTaco watches him and smiles, touches the keyboard.
CMDRTACO: You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your MS keyboard. Use it. I am unarmed. Hack me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment, you make
yourself more my servant.
Hemos watches spiralx in his agony.
spiralx: No!
CMDRTACO: It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You, like your father, are now mine!
CmdrTaco, Hemos, and a horrified spiralx watch the viewscreens as yet another troll is bitchslapped to extinction by the merciless moderation.
CMDRTACO: As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the CPU utilization of this fully licensed and operational slashcode. (into comlink) Fire at will, Commander.
Fawking Trolls!
If this means they'll get the 1.13 GHz chips working? I mean hey - they could always clock them down to 1 GHz and sell them to IBM for thier new line of systems, the "Approxima". (Bad joke, recycled I know, but hey - it was the first thing that came to mind!).
:-)
Brought to you by my trustly Athlon 650.
Fawking Trolls!
Perhaps you could mail me your registry? I'm at the address above, or wsl3@stlnet.com - I'd sure appriciate the help. If I can get StarCraft running, I'm 1/2 way to getting rid of windows.
Fawking Trolls!
Actually, I was never slapped. Just modded into oblivion. :-)
I could never get StarCraft to function under WINE. I couldn't even get it to load, even if I pointed it at my existing windows directory. I could never get the fake registry to work. WINE really needs to be able to create all the things it needs to work on it's own, if it doesn't find them. That, or we need a good configuration tool that will do this.... Hmm.... Think I've found my next project...
Fawking Trolls!
Sigh. The point in a way is that most things from M$ work about the same - not so in Linux. I've found TAR to be user hostile at times. Now that I understand TAR, it isn't anymore - you lack the perspective of struggling to learn something that is initially difficult. You're "There" You have "Arrived" and you "Grok" it. As a result, you don't understand why others have a hard time with it. It's no different than when I was studying medicine in the service - AFTER I had been to school, I always wondered why people had a hard time "getting it" so to speak. I've had good friends and close realitives give me that "deer in the headlights" stare when I talk computers with them - It's all about the level you're at, and how much the person or people you're trying to learn from are willing to share information in a way that you will understand. Case in point: DOS 5 had an EXCELLENT help system. Unix has MAN. I am JUST NOW starting to get useful information from MAN pages - they were TOTALLY incomprehensible to me at first. This is why sites like Linuxnewbie make NHF's (Newbieized Help Files) for people like me - MAN pages don't cut it if you don't already speak the language.
Fawking Trolls!
Yes, sorry. I should have made that clear. I have no real use for X, as most of the games I like to play (when I have time) don't run yet on X. If StarCraft and Diablo II would run under wine, I'd be alright - but they don't. Also, I've noticed that the distributed.net client doesn't work as well in the GUI as it does in CLI mode on Linux. My old system (Athlon 500 128M ram) which was Slackware 4.0.0 got 1.2Mkeys/sec CLI but only 350~Kkeys/Sec under X. The performance hit was totally unacceptable. Maybe X 4.0.0 will be loads better, but somehow I doubt this. I don't need a GUI to get work done - I'm a lan/wan specialist for DaimlerChrysler. I use PING more than anything else these days, mainly to find IP addresses that contractors steal without permission. One quick DOS on that IP and suddenly I get a call for support. "Hey, I can't see the file server anymore!" "Really? What's your IP address, and who asigned it to you?" He he he.
From the intuitive standpoint, I don't think X is anywhere near up to being as good as it's competition, HOWEVER I think it's strength lies in it's flexability. I was showing the PFS guy at work all the different GUI's that come with Mandrake 7.1 and he was astonished. Too bad it slows the system down so bad. But again, perhaps this is my fault - if it wasn't so hard to learn how to configure things, maybe I could get X to run better. I dunno. I'm going to buy this book (I'm such a sucker for books) and see if it teaches me anything I don't already know.
Fawking Trolls!
Bravo! I couldn't agree more. BTW: Another good book on the topic is AEleen Frich's "Essential System Administration" from ORA. It's not the MOST user friendly book, but it's the best one I've read yet. It helped me MUCH, but we STLL need something like "Unix in a Nutshell" translated more into english.
Fawking Trolls!
I've been playing with Linux/Unix/BSD since 1994, and am mostly self taught. Most of my friends think I'm a guru, but I have to tell you, I haven't even earned my benie yet - much less a wizards hat. The system can be so complex, and user hostile at times, that it defy's description. While I'm sure it will never be as easy to use as say DOS 4.0 was, I'm hopeful that one day, it won't be so needlessly complex! That, and we need to loose the attitude "It was hard for me to learn, so bend over and take it like a man!" that we get from the veterens.
Fawking Trolls!
... search engines are also able to use this? gPulp/Gnutella clients alone will suck bandwith, but what happens when Yahoo/Lycos/AskJeeves, etc. see this as cutting into thier market share, and decided to do this searching for thier users? One plus to this might be that they could cache such hits, and could allow searching that didn't suck bandwidth, but with the imperminent nature of such connections, I bet they'd do a scan EVERY time someone looked for "Eminem*.mp3" at ftpsearch.lycos.com or some such.
Fawking Trolls!
"Imagine a beowoulf cluster of these!"
:-)
Sorry, it had to be done...
Fawking Trolls!
Count me in!
Fawking Trolls!
What database will that track against? One in your home? I guess that would work without telling "Big Brother" too much about you.
Fawking Trolls!
Sure - but use it for What, exactly?
Fawking Trolls!
Well, YES - that is true, but that was much much later! Remember - the first five books of the old testament were an oral tradition for well over 150 generations before pen was set to paper. Or quill to papyrus, I should say.
Fawking Trolls!
Oh, I don't think there is any question of that, despite what some of the more heritical sects think. Why, even the Pirket avot (which I may not be spelling correctly this late) says something to the effect of "and the sons of the Rabbi's did not hesitate to embelish the works of thier fathers, to more suit thier time and needs."
Fawking Trolls!
That's pretty close to what I posted - not bad really, since I haven't read the book since it came out. :-)
Fawking Trolls!
Much further than that.
Fawking Trolls!
It was a joint mission: The astronaut who was killed was Chineese, and was aiming his suits mini dish in the general direction of the other ship so as to let them know what happened. Basically, they landed on the surface, and the lights from the ship attracted the pseudo plant life - they were attracted to the light as a source of energy to fuel photosynthysis. The "death" of the ship (and the plants) was purely accidental. The life on europa in the novel showed no sign of intelligence, just life.
Fawking Trolls!
We live in a Rebulican Democracy actually.
Fawking Trolls!
Many of whom CRY OUT to be made fun of.
Fawking Trolls!
More times than you'll ever know... Not that it matters.
I don't know how I'm posting at +1! My karma is still negative, and double digit negative at that. *Shrug*
Fawking Trolls!
Sadly, yes - that's me! I don't understand either yet. Once I'm done with Learning Perl, I'm getting ORA's MySQL book.
Fawking Trolls!
IANAL, but: As I understand it, a contract can only be modified if both parties agree. Check everything you signed - They most likely have a clause that allows them to do this. That, or they'll just cancel you if you don't agree.
Fawking Trolls!
When I got my Cable Modem, on @Home in San Diego in 1998, there was NO substitute. They absolutely rocked the house. Then, as they expanded to quickly, didn't think about how they were growing their network, didn't secure open mail relays, harrased customers (even threatening to send one to jail - search the archives, it was covered here) and just plain started to suck. The upload rate cap was the beginning of the end - this is another telling sign. I used to ask people "Who would even WANT DSL when cable is available?" and now I know. People like me.
Fawking Trolls!
Why is Microsoft trying to reinvent both C++ and Java?
Fawking Trolls!