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User: JediTrainer

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  1. Re:iText java libraries worked great on ActivePDF-like Reports w/ Apache? · · Score: 1

    It's worth noting that many of the Java-based reporting packages use iText to create the resulting PDF. iText does not have a UI, though, but it is simple enough to code with.

    Our team uses iText directly, though we have investigated many of the Java-based reporting packages noted earlier by others. We found plain iText to be much more flexible in dealing with our documents. Lay the code out properly, and it's easy to extend your class to support customizations that your customers may require.

  2. Bad email on Brits Still Working on Stinky Email · · Score: 5, Funny

    Great, as if your idiot uncle wasn't bad enough at family get-togethers, you can now look forward to emails that read:

    Pull my finger

  3. Re:WTH?? on Imminent Mandrake Name Change? · · Score: 1

    Who the hell is Mandrake the Wizard?? I live in the U.S. and I've NEVER heard of such a thing.

    Ah yes, my American friend. He must either have not existed or maybe is just irrelevant if you've never heard of him.

    I agree with the silliness of it all anyway, given they're not at all in the same market. On the other hand, Mandrake did originally have a 'Tux the Magician' logo, so that's a bit damning in the court's eyes.

  4. Re:Wifi out of the box on Giant List Of Linux-based Live CDs · · Score: 1

    That's funny. If you mispronounce wifi a bit...

    You want to hijack your wifey's laptop so that you can see the wifey network :)

  5. Re:Oh, this is just great on Open Source Software Serves Niche Markets · · Score: 1

    More likely, you might start seeing PowerPoint presentations :)

    Dude, I'm not your foe... what'd I do to piss you off?

  6. Re:4.28 billion web pages... on Google's Bigger Index · · Score: 5, Funny

    That reminds me of an old Dilbert (paraphrasing here, forgive the small errors):

    PHB: We've run out of accounting codes! We can't do anything without one!

    Dilbert: Why not upgrade the system to accept larger codes?

    PHB: To do that we'd need a budget and an accounting code

    Dilbert: Why can't we reuse a code from an old finished project?

    PHB: Strangely enough, we've never finished a project.

  7. Re:How is this different? on Creating A Super-Router (For Free) · · Score: 1

    I already use Azureus. The issue is that I want to give Azureus maximum bandwidth while it's available. I don't want to limit Azureus per se, but rather I want to give priority to HTTP/POP3/SMTP instead. When nothing else is happening, I couldn't care less if BT eats up the whole pipe.

  8. How is this different? on Creating A Super-Router (For Free) · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I currently own a BEFSR81, which is their 8-port wired version (no wireless) that I purchased a couple of years ago.

    It's got built-in QoS, which can prioritize traffic. You can choose low or high priority based on either your IP port number, or one of the LAN ports (at least, the first four).

    I've tried it out, and it worked pretty well when I needed to slow down BitTorrent so that my dad could use his web browser and email (otherwise, BitTorrent was eating *all* of my bandwidth).

    It wasn't great for having fine control, but it worked well enough to solve the problem for me.

  9. Re:The obvious joke on Virtual Dummy To Try On Clothes · · Score: 2, Funny

    Of course, the obvious (perhaps completely unfunny) joke is what's the point of putting clothes on the dummy when you can, well, have her naked?

    Seeing as how the 'dummy' is you, that's just wrong. Unless you get off on seeing yourself naked. Whatever floats yer boat.

  10. Budget solution: on Photographing Exploding Edibles · · Score: 3, Funny

    1. 8 year old male

    2. All-syrup squishee. Add caffeine to taste

    3. Hand the kid the camera.

    That should be enough for the kid's reflexes to match this elaborate setup.

  11. Reminds me... on Photographing Exploding Edibles · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I have an uncle who assists police with forensics work (he's a dentist during the day, but the town he lives in is small and they need all the help they can get).

    One thing that stumped the police was a scene where a single bullet came through the windshield of a car and hit the driver.

    That in itself wasn't surprising. What was surprising is that the back of the guy's head got completely blown off - a really huge hole that they couldn't explain at first.

    So they did an experiment using high-speed film/camera in a lab, where they got a few windshields to play with and a few human skull mockups, and a gun with bullets of the same make/model as the one they've identified.

    I saw a copy of (one of the) pictures they took, which was quite amazing (yet horrifying if you think what happened) - a giant cone of glass shards projecting outwards from where the bullet entered the windshield. The cone was small near the front of the driver's head, but while passing through the skull it continued on its outward path and blew a massive hole in the back.

    Scary stuff.

  12. Re:JWST a compliment, not a replacement on Space Tug to Save the Hubble? · · Score: 1

    JWST a compliment ... Different but complimentary missions.

    Nice 'scope there, dude! I love the way it matches your solar panels! Hubble, hubble! (I guess they had some imaging issues and needed a boost)

    Compliments are nice, but I think complement might have been the word you were looking for.

  13. Re:Oooh Shiny! on Women Buy More Tech Than Men · · Score: 4, Funny

    women don't go all glassy eyed and impressionable around bright, shiny things.

    You've never seen a woman near a jewellery store or something?

  14. Re:Various languages for Mindstorm programming on LEGO Mindstorms Will Survive · · Score: 5, Funny

    Enough with the toy languages.

    Real programmers will use Visual Basic!

    Ouch! Ouch! Stop hitting me!

  15. Re:But is it usable? on Open Watcom 1.2 Released · · Score: 1

    That reminds me. In high school we were working on a project, but ran into that issue.

    Watcom 10's tools had sucky UI (but awesome compiler with DOS4GW - a godsend). Borland (Turbo C++?) had a crappy compiler (but awesome UI).

    Solution? Link Borland's IDE to Watcom's tools. Worked like a charm.

  16. Re:Not broken? on Microsoft Extends Win98/SE Support · · Score: 1

    And I always thought that we had agreed long ago that it is in fact severely broken.

    Don't be confused. It's quite simple, really. Win98SE is every bit as broken as we agreed. What works for me is that it's predictably broken. I know what will break it - my system is 'stabilized' (if you could call it that) to the point where I can predict when crashes will occur most times. I still can't avoid them, but at least I can see them coming.

  17. Re:Sadly Enough on Microsoft Extends Win98/SE Support · · Score: 5, Interesting

    It only makes sense that 98 is still widely used, as upgrading to 2K/XP costs more than my mother-in-law is willing to spend on the stuff that lets her read her email...

    Ok, I confess...

    I'M still running 98SE on my home machine. Yes, still. I dual-boot with Linux, of course, but in order to use the VPN software my company provides (no, our VPN is not IPSEC unfortunately), I need Windows. And Outlook so I can get my email.

    Why haven't I upgraded? Because it's good enough. I don't want to give MS any more of my money, where I trade a working OS with bugs I'm now fairly familiar with for a new OS that's going to cost me more money and give me little benefit.

    If it ain't broke...

  18. Re:Paralax Astronomy on Bill Nye's Marsdial · · Score: 1

    I wonder (thinking of all these angles of observation), if given observation points on multiple planets, if you would get an actual "3d" representation of the local universe.. or if the distances involved would require the observation points to be further apart.

    Astronomy 101: if you're trying to observe something far away, then you can observe it once now, and once again in 6 months. You'll get the 'parallax' you're looking for because our planet will be on the opposite side of our orbit around the sun, which is a useful distance for this sort of thing.

  19. Re:Outlook Web Access on Has Anyone Used Evolution in an Enterprise? · · Score: 1

    I believe that the Connector requires that Outlook Web Access be available on your E2K server - so watch you don't get bitten by that if you choose not to allow web access to your Exchange.

    Ick. I've heard this before, and it sounds horrible. Outlook Web Access is slow and buggy, and what you're telling me is that the Connector is basically a giant HTML scraper?

    Honestly - I've got a similar problem to what the poster is describing, and I can't see replacing the Windows machines on our desks with Linux ones until this is resolved in a better way. There's got to be a better (native) way to connect to Exchange to make everything work properly.

    FYI Everyone on our team currently has a Linux box for all coding work, and a Windows box exclusively for Outlook and, for testing, IE. I'd really love to get rid of that Windows box for each developer (and no, VMWare is not an option because it eats too many of the machine's cycles - the demo was nice but slower than we'd like).

  20. Re:slashdotting via phone on SCO Gets More Desperate; Sends More Letters · · Score: 2, Informative

    I actually *did* call in the last conference call (just so they can get charged the $$). Note: when you call, tell them you're a SCO investor. You don't get too many questions that way.

    Listening in last time, it was pretty much the same thing. Everything was all about Linux this and that, protecting their IP and so forth. I'd never figured out exactly what IP they were referring to.

    It's too bad I didn't get picked for the Q&A afterwards. I had a couple of juicy questions.

  21. Re:Get a locking mailbox too. on Dumpster-Diving for Your Identity · · Score: 4, Interesting

    In Canada, hardly anybody has a curbside mailbox anymore (or even mail delivered to individual homes), unless you live on a farm or something. How's it work in other countries?

    Most neighbourhoods here have a bank of mailboxes, each with a lock (small door, but deep enough to hold a standard letter envelope). Walk (or drive, if lazy) down the street to your mailbox. I guess Canada Post likes that system because they can deliver our mail much easier this way - essentially in bulk. Each bank has a pair of larger parcel boxes, in case you get a deliver that doesn't fit in your letter-size box. The nice man leaves you a key for 'compartment A or B', you take your package out, and deposit the key in the mail slot so the mailman can retrieve it with tomorrow's mail.

    My only annoyance is some neighbours, who don't like receiving junk mail, leave it on top of the cabinet, leaving the garbage for everyone else to see. Why they can't just take it home and stick it in their recycling box is beyond me.

  22. Re:80%? on City Of Austin Migrating To OpenOffice.org · · Score: 1

    Funny, I read that as:

    (the City Council's Anger Management System) requires MS Office to run.

  23. Re:Wrights NOT FIRST to fly! on (At Least) 100 Years Of Powered Human Flight · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    In addition the wright bros. spent the rest of their time suing people like Curtis who actually made real airplanes and had better aircraft inventions.

    So you're saying that the Wrights invented modern-day (ab)use of the U.S. patent system 100 years ago?

    Can their descendents sue Amazon et al for prior art?

  24. Re:Yes CmdrTaco... on Winamp 2 + Winamp 3 = Winamp 5! · · Score: 1

    Imagine that a product called Winamp requires windows.

    When can I expect Linamp?

    Better yet, when can I start watching for the lawsuits?

  25. Re:The MT-32 on Roland Backs Down On MT-32 Emulator · · Score: 1

    You know what would be great?

    How about somebody goes and converts the old patchset from the Gravis UltraSound series of cards (into something usable with today's cards)? Honestly - it's the best I've heard so far, and certainly better than anything SoundBlaster has come up with.

    Unfortunately I think they still restrict distribution of the files, although I do still have a copy of them saved (even though I can no longer use the card, since it's ISA).