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User: Beardo+the+Bearded

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  1. Re:I have a Mac on Only 39% Curse At Their Computers? · · Score: 5, Funny

    Mac users don't swear at their machines because their mouth is full of Steve Jobs' cock.

  2. Re:Linux on Only 39% Curse At Their Computers? · · Score: 5, Funny

    I am a military contractor and I work with sailors.

    I have access to, and have used, military-grade profanity with regards to:
    1. specifications that make no sense whatsoever,
    2. hilariously optimistic decisions w.r.t. scheduling or personnel,
    3. conflicting instructions that could cause fires, and/or
    4. requirements dependent on physics that are not available in this universe.

    I also use normal profanity in the middle of conversation because that's what's expected sometimes.

    Nevertheless, on my personal time I tend to just reason with the machine.
    "Look, it's me. I can get my tools and force you to work or you can just make it easier on the two of us and you can go back to looking at schematics on RoboNet."

    It frightens me somewhat that that method works with reasonable reliability. This has even worked on machines that are new to me, which makes me wonder if I have a reputation amongst machines, which in turn makes me wonder if I am medically unstable.

    Nevertheless, nothing shuts down my profanity filter faster than working with Linux.

  3. Re:Nothing with a face on Designers Create Meat Eating Furniture · · Score: 1

    Never understood why, if you object to eating meat, you form your veggies into meat-like products. I don't make carrot shapes out of my ground beef.

    I'm a vegetarian, mostly vegan (some eggs and dairy) and I'll tell you why.

    Meat is delicious. It's an great source of protein, fats, and nutrients. People like meat, and vegetarians and vegans are, in fact, still people. I spend a lot of time on my diet working out what to eat and eating healthy choices. I don't eat salad and granola three meals a day. As the saying goes, "You can't get full on salad!" That's totally true, and no real vegetarian or vegan would eat just salad because you'd get really sick. Yesterday, I had: 1/2 a bagel with peanut butter and banana with a glass of soy milk, grapes for the 10:00 snack, leftover vegan Chinese food for lunch, more fruit for the afternoon snack, and chili for dinner. I had popcorn while watching a movie as the late-night snack. Other days I'll have fajitas; soups are big hits with the kids. Vegetarians and vegans eat the same things as you do, we just don't eat meat. We sub in other protein sources for meat and find ways to bake without eggs. Vegan pancakes and waffles are super easy to make and I can eat raw cookie dough without risking salmonella.

    Some people object to meat for health reasons (like myself). I don't have a problem with other people eating meat. I don't want to put that crap in my body due to the way it goes from being a cow into being ground beef. As a side effect, most fast-food joints are out of the meal plan as well. As you can imagine, I have a very low HDL count.

    Other people object to meat for ethical reasons. If your food isn't actually made out of meat, then it doesn't matter what shape it's in since it's not animal-based. If you make a burger out of tofu and liquid smoke, then it's not meat no matter how you slice it.

    Either way, you then get to participate in social events with your friends. If you've got BBQ day at work, you can slap a few Tofurky sausages on the grill and hang out with your co-workers. If your friends are having a cookout, grab some veggie burgers and some beer and go to the party. It's hard to BBQ soft tofu.

    In addition, the vast majority of human cooking knowledge is in meat-based cooking. Why can't I adapt a recipe to work with tofu or simulated meats? Do I not get to celebrate Thanksgiving because I don't want to eat Turkey? What about the yams, the roast potatoes, the pumpkin pies?

  4. Re:Money on An Open Letter To PC Makers: Ditch Bloatware, Now! · · Score: 1

    Oh yeah, I agree that the licence requirements for XP were downright draconian. You had to have the exact right version of the sticker; if you had the OEM version you were SOL because you couldn't even get disks for it.

  5. Re:Cybercheat? on 61.9% of Undergraduates Cybercheat · · Score: 1

    I graduated in 2004.

    My profs would routinely cheat. Several assignments were verbatim copied from online sources. One of the fourth-year phrases came up on a GS and I found the textbook he was using and I was able to work out how to do the assignments from there. Yes, there were answers but answers aren't really the point of the exercise. In the end, I ended up with a deep understanding of quantum physics and device behavior because I was learning from two professors and two books.

    Another prof used the last semester's tests. We found out, used the old tests as a study guide, and did remarkably well. I checked with the Dean's office to see if there were ethical ramifications, but they said, "go with it." I went with it.

    I also cheated by talking to each one of my profs. They knew me by name and from there marked just a little bit easier. One fellow, a man whose ancestry could be traced to the same region as my own, taught a class that I struggled with mightily. I asked what I could possibly do to pass the course. He asked what my name was. I reponded with a name that, if not exactly "Beardo the Bearded" would be the equivalent if that ancestral home was Facialhairland and would be regarded amongst the Bearded as a damned fine name. That same prof considered it a point of pride that he had never failed a woman either. Another prof, a German fellow, knew that I was singing a German piece about the crucifixion. "Oh, have fun with this wonderful work." [Grade+] The co-op office was widely regarded as full of jerks, but I never felt that way. I was nice to the staff, treated them with respect, and at one point got credit for a workterm that the guy working with me didn't get.

    Another terrible thing I did was group work. We'd work in teams to solve the more terrible problems, pulling assignments down from hours-long ordeals into after-school specials.

    The worst thing I ever did was weigh each assignment. I remember one conversation I had in a signals class:
    "Hey, Beardo, what did you get for question 8?"
    "I didn't do it, but it should look like this... [showed a sketch of the answer] ...It looked like a monster to get the math right."
    "Yeah, that question took me five hours to solve."
    "[Name], it's worth 1/2 of 1%"
    "... you son of a BITCH!"

  6. Re:Money on An Open Letter To PC Makers: Ditch Bloatware, Now! · · Score: 1

    Last week I reinstalled Win7 Starter on my laptop using the mydigitallife ISO, removing ei.cfg, and choosing Starter. I used the sticker code from the bottom of the laptop.

    I think that was the case for XP, but it doesn't seem to be the case for 7. I think the logistics department at Redmond decided that they'd save way more cash by only having 2 DVDs.

    (I had to for BIOS updating...)

  7. Re:Built by Engineers? on Iran's New Space Program · · Score: 1

    I was thinking of adding:

    - Buzz Killington

    at the end but figured that was a little belt / suspenders.

  8. Re:Choice on An Open Letter To PC Makers: Ditch Bloatware, Now! · · Score: 1

    If I'm punching you in the face, me stopping punching you is not a solution I'm interested in. You need to start thinking about moving away.

    I have a lawyer. You punching me in the face is, in the end, going to make her and I a fair bit richer at your expense.

  9. Re:Money on An Open Letter To PC Makers: Ditch Bloatware, Now! · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Yeah, he can just do what I've.. sorry, what we've all been doing since the 90s:

    Do a fresh install.

    Spend the $100 and get the Windows DVD if it bothers you that much and you have to have Windows, or install Ubuntu / Kubuntu. Your family is probably only using it for Facebook and email anyway, so you can add a dash of security by using an OS where you don't have to be admin all the time.

    The licence key that came with your PC is still valid, so if you've got a friend with a Win7 DVD, copy it and use the key. Edit / remove ei.cfg to choose the correct version for your CD key and you're golden.

    Shovelware (which is, I believe, the correct term for the bundled crapola; bloatware refers to programs that take up more room and memory as time goes by) will never go away because:

    1. You paid HP $200 for the computer.
    2. MacAfee paid HP $1.5 million* to install the 30-day trial.

    Thus, fuck you.
    *This number was totally pulled out of my ass but I would guess that it is n x $200 where n is any large number.

    Also, I have to ask why you're buying a branded machine anyway when you can get more power and a longer lasting machine for less money. I guess you have to with a laptop form factor, but that's really the only reason to not just pick up the parts and put the damned thing together yourself. And I'm saying this as a Canadian where I can't use the super-cheap deals you can get in the States.

  10. Re:Built by Engineers? on Iran's New Space Program · · Score: 1

    Just who do you think designs and supervises the construction of buildings?

    Usually, a Structural Engineer of Record who stamps, signs, and vouches for the building. The SER is then liable for problems with the building for up to six years after their death. Special insurance is available for those claims.

    SER certification requires formal training (e.g. B.Eng.) specialized post-graduate training, experience, and registration explicitly as a SER with multiple peer reviews. They often specialize in areas such as a building envelopes.

  11. Re:Anybody see iRobot? on RoboEarth Teaches Robots to Learn From Peers · · Score: 1

    Maybe that's how the robots will sort us:

    "Who is the star of 'I, Robot'?"

    Anyone who answers "Will Smith" gets mulched.

  12. Re:I just don't get it on PS3 Piracy Threats Cause Phone-Home DRM · · Score: 1

    I used to be a PC gamer, I went to console since I decided that if I was going to get DRM on my machine I might as well put in in a physical sandbox, and that's getting to be obnoxious too.

    Would you like to try out some games that have:

    • no Internet connection required
    • usually excellent customer service
    • no DRM, ever
    • full cross-platform compatibility
    • only one copy required for multiplayer
    • all games in HD and surround sound
    • no lag -- guaranteed*

    Gaming Unplugged

  13. Re:Don't give your paying customers a reason to qu on PS3 Piracy Threats Cause Phone-Home DRM · · Score: 1

    Nintendo is forcing me into piracy.

    I've got a Wii. I've chosen not to homebrew it for multiple reasons. Nintendo, however, had other plans. My guess is that they don't do a check on the firmware upgrades when they get downloaded. (They might do a CRC, but they sure don't MD5) For whatever reason, I often get a "The System Files are Corrupted. Refer to Troubleshooting Guide" when I boot it up. It can reboot sometimes, but I'd say it works about 25% of the time.

    I called Nintendo and they suggest that I format the Wii to fix the problem and back up my games first.

    The problem is that Mario Kart and Smash Brothers can't be copied unless I hack my Wii first. I'll be damned if I am going to do all those races and fights again to unlock a bunch of things on the game. I'm not 15 anymore -- I'm in my mid-30s and I have other things to do with my time than placate Nintendo's insane ideas of copy protection.

    So that was it, Nintendo. While I'm at it, I might as well plug in my nearby storage drive and back up the disks so the kids don't scratch them.

  14. Re:Not "causality" on PS3 Piracy Threats Cause Phone-Home DRM · · Score: 1

    I have a PS2 but I found it in the garbage.

  15. Re:Everything dies on PS3 Piracy Threats Cause Phone-Home DRM · · Score: 1

    Capcom...

    Capcom...

    Where have I heard that name before? Oh yeah, they were the guys who made non-Nintendo games for the NES.

    Hey Capcom, I thought that it was the customer's hardware to run whatever software they wanted. Wasn't that what you went to court for twenty years ago?

  16. Re:When you're downloading MP3s... on Senator Wyden Asks DHS To Explain Domain Seizures · · Score: 3, Funny

    Don't you remember 9/11?

    Terrorists flew downloaded MP3s into the Twin Towers and shot a child porn missile at the pentagon.

    For shame, Drakken. It's only been 10 years and you've forgotten the terrible cyber-events brought forward by the e-terrorists.

  17. Re:The bad news is on Kaspersky Source Code In the Wild · · Score: 1, Insightful

    You know what?

    Ubuntu can get viruses just as easily as other OSes. The Apache servers that control botnets aren't running IIS. Wine is a weak point, and Flash is a cross-platform single-point-of-failure. How many times have you blindly added a repository based on what some random untrusted person on the Internet tells you to do? I know I have.

    The only reason that it's not as 0wn3d as Windows is that Windows was easy pickings and has huge market share. Now the bad guys are going to focus on smartphones because that's where the easy targets are. (A computer that's always on, is usually glitchy, and you can't look around in it because the telcos lock it down from you? Awesome!)

    Selling Ubuntu as a secure OS is simply incorrect. It's more secure by virtue of both user capabilities and user-only access, but anything that is connected to the Internet is always subject to OMGPWNIES.

    If you are going to use Windows, apparently the best AV is MSE.

  18. Re:And, in other news... on Kaspersky Source Code In the Wild · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Here's the thing.

    The people who write malware already have this code. They might not have the C source, but they've got a good handle on the IO flow and undoubtedly have it in assembly. Is this a game-changer for the malware writers? Not even remotely. Even if this was the source code for the latest version from 2011, it wouldn't change anything.

    "They" have access to the exact same software that we have. They can download Avast! or AVG or Kaspersky or MSE and write the malware to be untraceable under those security suites. Hell, if they really wanted it they could find disgruntled employees or cleaning crews and get access to the repositories for cash monies.

  19. Re:Facebook accounts go high these days on Facebook Spammer Fined $360 Million · · Score: 1

    That's what I was thinking too.

    The value of the personal information that people are putting on FB is worth, on average, $80k.

    That's the real story here and it should send chills down your spine.

  20. Re:I was 5 and I'll never forget... on Challenger 25 Years Later · · Score: 1

    I remember Challenger. I was nine years old and I remember thinking that that was it, that they'd never let civilians into space ever again. I don't know which of my memories were from watching it later or watching it as it happened. I remember watching a TV show years later when they interviewed on of the engineers. The engineers thought it would explode on the launch pad, and he remembered saying to a colleague, "whew, looks like we dodged a bullet there..." We know what happened next. Now it's been close to 40 years since anyone has stepped on the moon. Soon we'll cancel even the orbital missions and we'll all just burn out or starve here.

    I remember 9/11. My wife woke up and checked her email and she called out "NY is under attack!". I said something like "come on, that's a rumour. Here, I'll put on CNN and prove it." I also remember the look on the engineer they interviewed when he talked about the towers coming down and how they were built to withstand a plane hitting them, but not something as big as the 737. "It would have been like designing them today for the space shuttle hitting them." I remember the look on his face, too. In the first two years since 9/11 he'd aged a good 20 years and slept very little. He looked like his kids had been murdered in front of him.

    He had the exact same look as the Challenger engineer.

  21. Re:Poor Engineering As A Plus: on Spam Text Prematurely Blows Up Suicide Bomber · · Score: 3, Interesting

    If it's for religious reasons, and it usually is, then they are forbidden from committing suicide upon punishment of going to hell. Because they are dead, it's a sin that cannot be forgiven. The loophole exists that they aren't killing themselves if someone else does the actual button pressing. These guys take loopholes way more seriously than the character optimization board at WotC and they've had thousands of years to figure this shit out. The consequences are greater, sure, but they've got it figured out.

    The murders, apparently, are kosher / halal / unicode error. Better than that, actually, by martyring yourself whilst killing the holy enemies of your chosen one then you are assured -- fucking assured -- that you get to escape this oppressed life and move to a perfect beautiful one (albeit a hilarious parody of adolescent fantasy) in paradise, with the blessing of your chosen one.

    I know, it assumes facts not in evidence. I'm a Secular Humanist so don't try saying but there's no God because I already know that, I'm just saying that that's their mentality.

  22. Re:Pathetic on Aerospace Engineer Named Lego Czar · · Score: 1

    My first job out of University with an Engineering degree and with experience from co-op and working through school paid $38,500, and that was the only benefit. At the time, houses started at about 8.5x that. I graduated in 2004 and prospects were pretty good.

    I took that job for several reasons. One, it looked really interesting. Two, the commute was very short. Three, the atmosphere was really casual and friendly. Four, I'd have a serious impact on the company. Five, I could have held out for another 6-8 months and got a job for $55k, but then that wouldn't make a lot of sense now, would it? Six, I was already married with a kid (we had her in my last semester of my degree.) and my wife has an established career.

    I now make considerably more, but I'd seriously consider this LEGO job and its linked pay cut if it was offered in my city. In fact, my final project for my degree was a autonomous robot made out of LEGO (with a Mindstorm core) that was Melexis-trophy compliant. I remember having to explain to the judges that we didn't just use the system that it came with, we programmed it in Java and built out own sensors -- one of the judges' kids had a set and he was less than impressed. Once we showed him that we made it LOOK like it was stock LEGO he said "ooooohh!" and we got 2nd place.

    PS: You think the new layout is bad, try it on IE7. /. crashed IE four times today already... They've got some serious WOMM here, but I guess we'll get over it.

  23. Re:Hmmm on Your Face Will Soon Be In Facebook Ads · · Score: 5, Funny

    Finally my goatse profile pic is going to pay off.

  24. Re:Believe? on Fedora Infrastructure Compromised · · Score: 1

    That was my first thought as well: "Uh, didn't they do a diff and look for the parts that changed?"

  25. Re:What's missing from this article? on America Losing Its Edge In Innovation · · Score: 1

    Why would I?

    I'm a PE, and I have thought about running for office. My local federal riding is up for grabs in the upcoming election.

    Everything I've ever done wrong -- out in the camera...

    Leaving my family for months at a time...

    Arguing with people who think they know better because they're louder...

    Seriously, why would I?