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User: PDX

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Comments · 205

  1. Johny Five is happy to provide your last meal. on Robots To Patrol South Korean Prisons · · Score: 1

    Beware geeks bearing gifts.

  2. Would it upset him if ... on Ask Florian Kaps of the Impossible Project · · Score: 1

    What if we put a digital sensor into an old Polaroid and added Eye-fi SD for instant downloads.

  3. Re:Not gonna happen. on What Happens When the Average Lifespan is 150 Years? · · Score: 1

    I can see reincarnation as a corporate model that allows people to take their money with them after they die. 1 Find a nearly dead client. 2 Give them a sample of healthy couples to choose from. 3 Create a trust fund for the baby to inherit everything minus a commission. 4 Using in vitro fertilization create the next body for them to inhabit. 5 Arrange a death scale to measure the 20 ounce drop in weight of the old soul leaving the body. 6 Measure the weight of the pregnant woman at the same time in the same room. If her weight increases then reincarnation has taken place.
      If the old soul cannot enter the new body then something about our understanding of the reincarnational process is flawed.

    Instead of seeking to marry perfection many baby boomers will have the cheaper option of starting over fresh on their own terms.

  4. Que the Sam Beckett jokes on Breakthrough Toward Quantum Computing · · Score: 1

    If the wmap cold spot is an alternate universe then a tachyon beam might be able to break past dimensional barriers that exist between universes. If the other universe has two cold spots then a hub of data could be formed. Imagine the total output of every universes' data collections piped across dimensional barriers. The rate of data is limited by the phase data and the rotation of the beam. Multi-verse theory has proved correct. The downside is not knowing if anyone can survive in the other universe. The challenge is to detect FTL signals.

  5. We should allow for the reincarnation of authors.. on Terry Pratchett Considers Assisted Suicide · · Score: 1

    We should allow for the reincarnation of authors. If the Dali Lama can pull it off why not arrange for a pregnant woman to stay in the same room he commits suicide in. To preserve some cognitive data, EEG scans before death and after birth can be compared. We might have to wait for the first trimester to complete in order to determine the baby's gender. You have 50/50 odds of reincarnating as the opposite sex your next time around. It is too soon to create a replicant body for him. :-(

  6. Age discrimination is also a problem on What's Your College Major Worth? · · Score: 1

    Age discrimination is also a problem. What they don't tell college students is that the engineering degrees have an expiration date on them. The closer to retirement you get the less companies will even hire you. If you suffer a job loss in your late fifties your expensive degree isn't worth the paper it is printed on.

  7. Lest we forget the Darwin Awards on Scientists Take Charles Darwin On the Road · · Score: 1

    If you've done what you shouldn't do and shot away your cares with a well placed bullet. We might have a place for you. Thank you for cleaning out the shallow end of the gene pool.

  8. Re:Inquiring minds want to know... on Sex After a Field Trip Yields Scientific Discovery · · Score: 1

    Pay no attention to the presence of sentient insects living on Earth. They are legal aliens of the United States of America. All legal aliens have already been screened for infectious diseases. That doesn't mean that they can't contract our diseases. They knew the risks when they decided to come here.

  9. Steam from distiller clouds Ireland for centuries. on NASA Satellite Snaps Rare Cloud-Free Ireland · · Score: 1

    The St. Patrick's day celebrations have emptied all the stills in Ireland. Tomorrow is tank cleaning day. Clouds should reappear to cloak the distilleries when production resumes.

  10. What next an attack by the branch of the Salvation on Anonymous Goes After GodHatesFags.com · · Score: 1

    What next an attack by the militant branch of the Salvation Army? Or are they trying to hate all hate evenly across the entire spectrum. These hate groups often start in points of isolation. The solution is increased broadband and internet addiction for their descendants. Egypt's current situation could not have happened as easily without the training that the Egyptian Army received from the United States. Remaining impartial and knowing your own limits is useful training that is obviously lacking in the hate speech movement.

  11. No Bug fixes at all .. Ever.... on Duke Nukem Forever Release Date Revealed · · Score: 1

    No game support

  12. Re:No. Way. on How Europe Will Lower Emissions — Self Driving Cars · · Score: 1

    What if we tie in the stop lights to a recommendation grid for driving just the right speed to get to the next light without having to stop. If everyone has access to the knowledge of what speed they'd need to drive there wouldn't be so much stopping and starting at intersections. If I knew what speed to drive on the interstate to get away from bad drivers and get to my destination safely then I don't see a problem with detouring around a trouble spot on the highway.

  13. Re:Your fellow Ophiuchus! on Stars Remain In Their Usual Places; People Panic · · Score: 1

    Next you'll be telling me your a Slytherin. Don't you dare wave your "magic" wand at me.

  14. Re:Prediction on Journal Article On Precognition Sparks Outrage · · Score: 1

    I just heard a million voices scream out all at once!

  15. Every advanced Tech will eventually be used as a.. on IBM Projects Holographic Phones, Air-Driven Batteries · · Score: 1

    Every advanced Tech will eventually be used as a cat toy. http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1828

  16. Shouldn't they use a bigger sandbox. on Raising a Botnet In Captivity · · Score: 2

    After effects, more research needed. Cylon sentience attained on the first day. They keep it running until Tricia Helfer steps out of their 3D printer.

  17. Re:Linux Support? on AMD's New Flagship HD 6970 Tested · · Score: 1

    There is also a matter of program compatibility. I found out too late that the ATI R4890 OC 1GB card has no 16bit Z buffer resulting in completely unplayable Mechwarrior games. One main reason I upgraded cards was to play the old games at absurd frame rates. The card will also overheat if i run the quick boot option on my Asus P5Q motherboard. The Linux version isn't compatible with my card so I can't use that function of my motherboard. It is a total waste.

  18. Re:All's Well That Ends Well? on Code-Stealing Drone Vendor Settles With Devs · · Score: 1

    The borg queen was not happy about her drones going to Cabo San Lucas. The stolen code was assimilated but not properly checked for HUMAN errors.

  19. Re:have they named it yet? on Life Found In Deepest Layer of Earth's Crust · · Score: 1

    The hobbit puzzled over the drill bit rotating downward into middle earth. The dirt from the glowing sky lichen clouded the air causing the shire beneath to glow blue. The drill continued downward into the bowels of hell. Abandon all hope All ye who enter here.

  20. Nature always finds a way and if it doesn't .... on Immaculate Conception In a Boa Constrictor · · Score: 1
  21. Re:Department win on Fermilab Confirms Evidence of 4th Flavor Neutrino · · Score: 1

    What happened to the other 31 - 4 = 27 Flavors?

  22. Re:Please File Things Under Idle Where They Belong on New York Judge Rules 6-Year-Old Can Be Sued · · Score: 1

    Such an amazing environment we live in that can grow parasites of such enormous size. It's like looking at Jurassic Park and seeing a giant tick feed off of a dinosaur. This is really quite a fascinating find. Like a leach or mosquito we have no idea what major breakthrough that this event may precipitate under the current administration. The benefit of leaches has been well known for many centuries. The mosquito is by itself a minor nuisance, but when combined with malaria becomes a major health threat. Under this case if the lawyer that became a judge is a parasite perpetuating unnecessary litigation then the end result will be the death of the host organism.(The judiciary) All we need to do is find the tipping point where unnecessary litigation negates all justice and enforcement becomes impossible.
    http://www.theonion.com/audio/american-bar-association-recalls-230000-defective,13584/

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/fairyprincess-ranks-depleting-as-girls-aspire-to-b,496/

    http://www.theonion.com/audio/reallife-beverly-hillbillies-stripped-of-assets-by,13143/

    http://www.theonion.com/audio/judge-orders-god-to-break-up-into-smaller-deities,18327/

  23. Re:Question: on The Empire Strikes Back Vader Costume For Sale · · Score: 1

    How will they get out the liquor stains? I understand the actor was a heavy drinker. Just pass it off as Vader's unique life support fluid.
    Other jobs for Darth Vader wannabes http://www.theonion.com/articles/sevenyearold-enjoys-fun-toxicspill-evacuation,1597/

  24. The CAPTCHAs are causing my head to explode! on Hard-to-Read Fonts Improve Learning · · Score: 1

    My intelligence is growing too fast for my cranium to handle! If I read too many more CAPTCHAs I'll build a fusion powered flying saucer and start abducting trailer park trash for bizarre genetic experiments. http://www.theonion.com/articles/fbi-director-wishes-he-had-some-alien-thing-to-cov,2957/
    http://www.theonion.com/articles/texas-ufo-identified,15644/
    http://www.theonion.com/articles/vatican-okays-space-aliens,15465/

  25. Re:So then on 2012 Mayan Calendar 'Doomsday' Date Might Be Wrong · · Score: 1

    The actual transit through the center point of the galactic elliptic will take at least a decade. With plenty of fan fair even something ridiculous can seem plausible for a brief time. Until you actually look under the hood.