I just heard some sad news on talk radio. Legendary horror novelist Stephen King whose nom de plume has been Richard Bachman, died this evening of complications during surgery. King had been scheduled to receive routine treatment for an enlarged prostate, when something went awry. There weren't anymore details. Even if you weren't a fan of his work, King's brilliance and contributions to pop culture mark him as a true American icon.
I hope you weren't joking, because I've done this. It was no accident, I mean, where do they expect you to go? I hopped into the Atlantic, dropped my drawers, took care of business, and let the motion of the ocean take care of the rest. Good times.
The word Fark doesn't mean anything. It's a word Drew used instead of saying Fuck in chat rooms and online games back in the early 90s. He became known for saying it at random intervals just for the hell of it, so one day in late 1997 he decided to go out and register the domain.
Drew didn't want to bother with a website unless he came up with a good idea for it. So instead of doing a vanity site or something equally lame, he put this picture up instead:
And for many months that was what you found when you went to Fark.com. Some say it was much better than the content found on Fark today.
In the meantime, Drew had somehow gotten into the habit of sending odd news to friends of his in England, where he lived for a year while in college. He started sending emails with the funny news stories to his friends via email. However, emails were going out several times a day, and Drew started to suspect that they might be annoying. Remembering he owned the Fark.com domain name, he started a website and told all his friends to go there for the weird news. That was February 12, 1999.
During all of 1999, Fark got 50,000 pageviews.
During all of 2000, Fark got over one million pageviews
During all of 2001, Fark got over 30 million pageviews
During all of 2002, Fark got over 210 million pageviews
During all of 2003, Fark got over 350 million pageviews
We're not sure what we'll get during 2004, but at this rate by the end of the year there will be more people reading Fark than will be alive on the planet at that time. It will be interesting to see how that works out.
I just heard some horrifically sad news on talk radio. Legendary open source activist Linus Torvalds was placed under arrest early this morning for possession of crack cocaine outside of a conference in New Zealand. There weren't anymore details. This is a sure blow to the open source movement and her allies. I hope there's an explanation for this.
I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys. I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys. I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad. I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones. I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they liked them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys.
In 2001, President Bush almost prevented the worst terrorist attack in American history. He invaded Afghanistan and almost captured Osama bin Laden. He invaded Iraq and almost found weapons of mass destruction. He almost prosecuted corporate crime. He almost created lots of new jobs. He almost left no child behind. President Bush has a "moon base" plan that is almost feasible. John Kerry has no "moon base" plan whatsoever... President Bush only speaks one language, but that language is good ol' fashioned American English. And he almost speaks it real well.
John Kerry is fluent in several languages. He probably speaks French... I was thinking. I don't really agree with President Bush on anything. I mean, nothing - except the whole "no-call list" thing. That was great! I mean, that one law ALMOST makes up for all the stupid stuff... And isn't almost good enough?
I am not a religious woman, but I am aware that the story behind Jesus's existence is that he WAS MEANT TO DIE. Whether it be death by Jew, Roman, Alien, or otherwise. Jesus was meant to die. He had to. Don't you get it?
Last year I was modded up left and right on this day. It was sort of humorous, sort of insulting. Penis birds shall infest this forsaken place momentarily...
In 2001, President Bush almost prevented the worst terrorist attack in American history. He invaded Afghanistan and almost captured Osama bin Laden. He invaded Iraq and almost found weapons of mass destruction. He almost prosecuted corporate crime. He almost created lots of new jobs. He almost left no child behind. President Bush has a "moon base" plan that is almost feasible. John Kerry has no "moon base" plan whatsoever... President Bush only speaks one language, but that language is good ol' fashioned American English. And he almost speaks it real well.
John Kerry is fluent in several languages. He probably speaks French... I was thinking. I don't really agree with President Bush on anything. I mean, nothing - except the whole "no-call list" thing. That was great! I mean, that one law ALMOST makes up for all the stupid stuff... And isn't almost good enough?
Slashdot Mirror
I dedicate this first post to dead semen encrusted poopies. Thank you.
I share it with you! Here, my friend! Enjoy!
www.christinamodel.com
www.christinamodel.com
l.com
Your comment violated the "postercomment" compression filter. Try less whitespace and/or less repetition. Comment aborted.
I'm now limited to 1 post per day! Yee-haw!
a fool will want to use it.
YAY LINUX GO FIRST PSOT!
gnaa wuz here looooool
I just heard some sad news on talk radio. Legendary horror novelist Stephen King whose nom de plume has been Richard Bachman, died this evening of complications during surgery. King had been scheduled to receive routine treatment for an enlarged prostate, when something went awry. There weren't anymore details. Even if you weren't a fan of his work, King's brilliance and contributions to pop culture mark him as a true American icon.
I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE.
What?
I have a right to be here! It's school business!
Mother! That SAILOR SUIT DOESN'T FIT ME ANYMORE.
I hope you weren't joking, because I've done this. It was no accident, I mean, where do they expect you to go? I hopped into the Atlantic, dropped my drawers, took care of business, and let the motion of the ocean take care of the rest. Good times.
The word Fark doesn't mean anything. It's a word Drew used instead of saying Fuck in chat rooms and online games back in the early 90s. He became known for saying it at random intervals just for the hell of it, so one day in late 1997 he decided to go out and register the domain.
Drew didn't want to bother with a website unless he came up with a good idea for it. So instead of doing a vanity site or something equally lame, he put this picture up instead:
And for many months that was what you found when you went to Fark.com. Some say it was much better than the content found on Fark today.
In the meantime, Drew had somehow gotten into the habit of sending odd news to friends of his in England, where he lived for a year while in college. He started sending emails with the funny news stories to his friends via email. However, emails were going out several times a day, and Drew started to suspect that they might be annoying. Remembering he owned the Fark.com domain name, he started a website and told all his friends to go there for the weird news. That was February 12, 1999.
During all of 1999, Fark got 50,000 pageviews.
During all of 2000, Fark got over one million pageviews
During all of 2001, Fark got over 30 million pageviews
During all of 2002, Fark got over 210 million pageviews
During all of 2003, Fark got over 350 million pageviews
We're not sure what we'll get during 2004, but at this rate by the end of the year there will be more people reading Fark than will be alive on the planet at that time. It will be interesting to see how that works out.
weird al's parents dead from stupidity, news at 11.
My Iomega 100mb zip disks are decent coasters. The click of death never arrived because I never use the product.
Would you settle for a pearl necklace?
Now go jerk off to your sister sunbathing.
werd!
who dun it?
yall bettta recognize...
Welcome to Slashdot.
For added fun, try here!
I just heard some horrifically sad news on talk radio. Legendary open source activist Linus Torvalds was placed under arrest early this morning for possession of crack cocaine outside of a conference in New Zealand. There weren't anymore details. This is a sure blow to the open source movement and her allies. I hope there's an explanation for this.
I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys. I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys. I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad. I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones. I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they liked them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals. I like monkeys.
In 2001, President Bush almost prevented the worst terrorist attack in American history.
He invaded Afghanistan and almost captured Osama bin Laden.
He invaded Iraq and almost found weapons of mass destruction.
He almost prosecuted corporate crime.
He almost created lots of new jobs.
He almost left no child behind.
President Bush has a "moon base" plan that is almost feasible.
John Kerry has no "moon base" plan whatsoever...
President Bush only speaks one language, but that language is good ol' fashioned American English. And he almost speaks it real well.
John Kerry is fluent in several languages. He probably speaks French...
I was thinking. I don't really agree with President Bush on anything. I mean, nothing - except the whole "no-call list" thing. That was great! I mean, that one law ALMOST makes up for all the stupid stuff...
And isn't almost good enough?
I am not a religious woman, but I am aware that the story behind Jesus's existence is that he WAS MEANT TO DIE. Whether it be death by Jew, Roman, Alien, or otherwise. Jesus was meant to die. He had to. Don't you get it?
Last year I was modded up left and right on this day. It was sort of humorous, sort of insulting. Penis birds shall infest this forsaken place momentarily...
In 2001, President Bush almost prevented the worst terrorist attack in American history.
He invaded Afghanistan and almost captured Osama bin Laden.
He invaded Iraq and almost found weapons of mass destruction.
He almost prosecuted corporate crime.
He almost created lots of new jobs.
He almost left no child behind.
President Bush has a "moon base" plan that is almost feasible.
John Kerry has no "moon base" plan whatsoever...
President Bush only speaks one language, but that language is good ol' fashioned American English. And he almost speaks it real well.
John Kerry is fluent in several languages. He probably speaks French...
I was thinking. I don't really agree with President Bush on anything. I mean, nothing - except the whole "no-call list" thing. That was great! I mean, that one law ALMOST makes up for all the stupid stuff...
And isn't almost good enough?
If you know what this means, please quietly slip towards the back, and meet me in the 3rd alley for nipple fun.
Isn't this Slashdot? You mods love ignorant herd mentality don't you? Mod parent up!
ms sux0rs cause every1 knowz how 2 use windoze LOL!