I'm the original author. I've added about 4 of my trolls to the Troll Library in order to relive former glories. Because Slash is so shitty you can only easily find last 24 comments, the only way to preserve these gems for all-time is to have an automated troll repeatedly re-post them for you.
Thanks, Taco! Your dumb little limit means that I'm forced to crapflood my trolls ad infinitum!
It's not news. I know the guy who sent that story into Wired. He made the whole thing up. See what kinds of fun media terrorism are possible in today's Web-driven world?
I'll have to talk to him again later today about the story making Slashdot's front page. LOL.
Re:Please could you help me
on
iWarez
·
· Score: -1
While this FP has certain trollish properties, it appears to have been created by a legitimate user who simply happened to obtain first post. Thus, I will lend this FP a flair of "-1 authenticity" by providing a link to goatse. Have a nice day.
Chapter 2: HE WHO SEES A WOMAN, AND HIS HEART IS AFFECTED, SHOULD COME TO HIS
WIFE, AND SHOULD HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH HER
Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) saw a woman, and
so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual
intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: The woman
advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman,
he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.
Jabir heard Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) say: When a woman fascinates
any one of you and she captivates his heart, he should go to his wife and have
an intercourse with her, for it would repel what he feels.
Chapter 9: SEEKING CONSENT OF AL-THAYYIBIN MARRIAGE IN WORDS AND OF A VIRGIN IN
(MEANINGFUL) SILENCE
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be
upon him) as having said: A woman without a husband (or divorced or a widow)
must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin must not be married
until her permission is sought. They asked the Prophet of Allah (may peace be
upon him): How her (virgin's) consent can be solicited? He (the Holy Prophet)
said: That she keeps silence.
Chapter 10: IT IS PERMISSIBLE FOR THE FATHER TO GIVE THE HAND OF HIS DAUGHTER IN
MARRIAGE EVEN WHEN SHE IS NOT FULLY GROWN UP
'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Allah's Apostle (may peace be
upon him) married her when she was seven years old, and he was taken to his
house as a bride when she was nine, and her dolls were with her; and when he
(the Holy Prophet) died she was eighteen years old.
Chapter 14: EXCELLENCE OF EXMANCIPATING A SLAVE-GIRL AND THEN MARRYING HER
Abu Musa reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said about one
who emancipated a slave woman, and then married her, that for him there are two
rewards.
Chapter 17: IT IS NOT PERMISSIBLE TO MARRY A WOMAN WHO IS DIVORCED BY THREE
PRONOUNCEMENTS UNTIL SHE IS MARRIED TO ANOTHER MAN AND HE HAS A SEXUAL
INTERCOURSE WITH HER, AND THEN HE ABANDONS HER AND SHE COMPLETES HER 'IDDA
'A'Asha (Allah be pleased with her) reported: A person divorced his wife by
three pronouncements; then another person married her and he also divorced her
without having sexual intercourse with her. Then the first husband of her
intended to remarry her. It was about such a case that Allah's Messenger (may
peace be upon him) was asked, whereupon he said: No, until the second one has
tasted her sweetness as the first one had tasted.
Chapter 19: PERMISSIBILITY OF HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH ONE'S WIFE FROM THE
FRONT OR FROM BEHIND AVOIDING THE ANUS
Jabir (b. Abdullah) (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Jews used to
say that when one comes to one's wife through the vagina, but being on her back,
and she becomes pregnant, the child has a squint. So the verse came down:" Your
wives are your ti'Ith; go then unto your tilth, as you may desire."
This hadith has been reported on the authority of Jabir through another chain of
transmitters, but in the hadith transmitted on the authority of Zuhri there is
an addition (of these words):" If he likes he may (have intercourse) being on
the back or in front of her, but it should be through one opening (vagina)."
Chapter 22: AL AZL (INCOMPLETE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE): COITUS INTERRUPTUS
Abu Sirma said to Abu Sa'id al Khadri (Allah he pleased with him): 0 Abu Sa'id,
did you hear Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) mentioning al-'azl? He
said: Yes, and added: We went out with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him)
on the expedition to the Bi'l-Mustaliq and took captive some excellent Arab
women; and we desired them, for we were suffering from the absence of our wives,
(but at the same time) we also desired ransom for them. So we decided to have
sexual intercourse with them but by observing 'azl (Withdrawing the male sexual
organ before emission of semen to avoid-conception). But we said: We are doing
an act whereas Allah's Messenger is amongst us; why not ask him? So we asked
Allah's Mes- senger (may peace be upon him), and he said: It does not matter if
you do not do it, for every soul that is to be born up to the Day of
Resurrection will be born.
Chapter 23: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH A PREGNANT SLAVE-WOMAN
Abu Darda' (Allah be pleased with him) related from the Prophet of Allah (may
peace be upon him) that he came upon a woman who was in the advanced stage of
pregnancy at the door of a tent. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Perhaps he (the man
accompanying her) intends to cohabit with her. They said: Yes. Thereupon Allah's
Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: I have decided to curse him with such a
curse as may go along with him to his grave. How can he own him (the child to be
born) and that is not lawful for him, and how can he take him as a servant for
that is not lawful for him?
Chapter 24: PERMISSIBILITY OF INTERCOURSE WITH A SUCKLING LADY AND DISAPPROVAL
OF 'AZL
Judama daughter of Wahb, sister of Ukkasha (Allah be pleased with her).
reported: I went to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) along with some
persons and he was saying: I intended to prohibit cohabitation with the suckling
women, but I considered the Greeks and Persians, and saw that they suckle their
children and this thing (cohabitation) does not do any harm to them (to the
suckling women). Then they asked him about 'azl, whereupon he said. That is the
secret (way of) burying alive, and Ubaidullah has made this addition in the
hadith transmitted by al-Muqri and that is:" When the one buried alive is
asked."
Chapter 27: ONE SUCKLING OR TWO DO NOT MAKE MARRIAGE UNLAWFUL
Umm al-Fadl reported: A bedouin came to Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him)
when he was in my house and said: Allah's Apostle, I have had a wife and I
married another besides her, and my first wife claimed that she had suckled once
or twice my newly married wife, thereupon Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon
him) said: One suckling or two do not make the (marriage) unlawful.
Chapter 28: SUCKLING OF A YOUNG (BOY)
' A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Sahla bint Suhail came to
Allah's Apostle (may peace be eupon him) and said: Messengerof Allah, I see on
the face of Abu Hudhaifa (signs of disgust) on entering of Salim (who is an
ally) into (our house), whereupon Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) said:
Suckle him. She said: How can I suckle him as he is a grown-up man? Allah's
Messenger (may peace be upon him) smiled and said: I already know that he is a
young man 'Amr has made this addition in his narration that he participated in
the Battle of Badr and in the narration of Ibn 'Umar (the words are): Allah's
Messenger (may peace be upon him) laughed.
Chapter 29: IT IS PERMISSIBLE TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH A CAPTIVE WOMAN
AFTER SHE IS PURIFIED (OF MENSES OR DELIVERY) IN CASE SHE HAS A HUSBAND, HER
MARRIAGE IS ABROGATED AFTER SHE BECOMES CAPTIVE
So if we just "draw attention away from" everything the blacks say, but still let them say it, that's not censorship? Try to slip that one past the NAACP.
I say we shut down Massachusetts and enlist the space as an enormous landfill. Thanks to the Kennedys, it's already a moral sewer; might as well bring the metaphor to life.
They don't beleive in market liberalism, and they don't believe in socialism either. They only believe in tricking a large number of unrelated special interests to pool their votes and get them elected, so they can stick cigars in their interns' vaginas.
These Linux fuckheads don't mind completely ignoring new laws such as the DMCA, but dredge up some old law made during the time of monarchy and slavery to stop spam? Everyone here complains when companies use the letter rather than the spirit of law to twist things in their favor. Now some dubious ancient law is being applied to electronic mail? Gimmie a fucking break.
Want to reach global customers on a regional level? OSDN Goatargeting is a good place to start. Maybe you have a product that only appeals to a certain homosexual audience. It could be that your product only has regional appeal due to extreme wideness or level of lubrication. Or, you may just want to test a localized market before stretching your market as wide as it can go. We can target your offering to just about any country or region of the anus.
* 23% of OSDN's page impressions come from homosexual domains
* 63% of international page impressions are from communist countries
* 10% of international page impressions are from Junis in Afghanistan
Top-level Domain Targeting
Need to reach a specific industry segment, such as child pornographers or zoophiles? If you are looking to reach these types of domains we can deliver your message to the right target.
Contact us for more information on our unique targeting opportunities. Pricing is dependent on degree of targeting, firmness and willingness of your ass, and available inventory.
Why even waste the money on an enormous Jew-holding rocket? Surely NASA could build some giant tube that could shoot them up there one at a time, sans any ship whatsoever.
Slashdot Mirror
Your perfect spelling reveals you to be overqualified.
This from a country where mobs of thousands of people torch passenger trains.
That would be able to run one hell of a Slurpee machine!
Well, there is no l33t 0-day warez for Linux, but who needs that when you have wholesome, quality games such as Tux Racer?
Red Wizard shot the food.
Gee, that's so easy to fix, it's almost like they made it annoyingly messed-up on purpose.
Hint, hint.
Sistas are doin' it for themselves!
The Village Voice is a filthy commie rag.
I'm the original author. I've added about 4 of my trolls to the Troll Library in order to relive former glories. Because Slash is so shitty you can only easily find last 24 comments, the only way to preserve these gems for all-time is to have an automated troll repeatedly re-post them for you.
Thanks, Taco! Your dumb little limit means that I'm forced to crapflood my trolls ad infinitum!
It's not news. I know the guy who sent that story into Wired. He made the whole thing up. See what kinds of fun media terrorism are possible in today's Web-driven world?
I'll have to talk to him again later today about the story making Slashdot's front page. LOL.
Yeah, that copy and paste job from http://www.apple.com/ipod/ must have taken a really long time.
By the way, this isn't the new Slashdot Apple logo; it's the logo for the "Media (Apple)" topic.
While this FP has certain trollish properties, it appears to have been created by a legitimate user who simply happened to obtain first post. Thus, I will lend this FP a flair of "-1 authenticity" by providing a link to goatse. Have a nice day.
Chapter 2: HE WHO SEES A WOMAN, AND HIS HEART IS AFFECTED, SHOULD COME TO HIS
WIFE, AND SHOULD HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH HER
Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) saw a woman, and
so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual
intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: The woman
advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman,
he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.
Jabir heard Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) say: When a woman fascinates
any one of you and she captivates his heart, he should go to his wife and have
an intercourse with her, for it would repel what he feels.
Chapter 9: SEEKING CONSENT OF AL-THAYYIBIN MARRIAGE IN WORDS AND OF A VIRGIN IN
(MEANINGFUL) SILENCE
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be
upon him) as having said: A woman without a husband (or divorced or a widow)
must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin must not be married
until her permission is sought. They asked the Prophet of Allah (may peace be
upon him): How her (virgin's) consent can be solicited? He (the Holy Prophet)
said: That she keeps silence.
Chapter 10: IT IS PERMISSIBLE FOR THE FATHER TO GIVE THE HAND OF HIS DAUGHTER IN
MARRIAGE EVEN WHEN SHE IS NOT FULLY GROWN UP
'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Allah's Apostle (may peace be
upon him) married her when she was seven years old, and he was taken to his
house as a bride when she was nine, and her dolls were with her; and when he
(the Holy Prophet) died she was eighteen years old.
Chapter 14: EXCELLENCE OF EXMANCIPATING A SLAVE-GIRL AND THEN MARRYING HER
Abu Musa reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said about one
who emancipated a slave woman, and then married her, that for him there are two
rewards.
Chapter 17: IT IS NOT PERMISSIBLE TO MARRY A WOMAN WHO IS DIVORCED BY THREE
PRONOUNCEMENTS UNTIL SHE IS MARRIED TO ANOTHER MAN AND HE HAS A SEXUAL
INTERCOURSE WITH HER, AND THEN HE ABANDONS HER AND SHE COMPLETES HER 'IDDA
'A'Asha (Allah be pleased with her) reported: A person divorced his wife by
three pronouncements; then another person married her and he also divorced her
without having sexual intercourse with her. Then the first husband of her
intended to remarry her. It was about such a case that Allah's Messenger (may
peace be upon him) was asked, whereupon he said: No, until the second one has
tasted her sweetness as the first one had tasted.
Chapter 19: PERMISSIBILITY OF HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH ONE'S WIFE FROM THE
FRONT OR FROM BEHIND AVOIDING THE ANUS
Jabir (b. Abdullah) (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Jews used to
say that when one comes to one's wife through the vagina, but being on her back,
and she becomes pregnant, the child has a squint. So the verse came down:" Your
wives are your ti'Ith; go then unto your tilth, as you may desire."
This hadith has been reported on the authority of Jabir through another chain of
transmitters, but in the hadith transmitted on the authority of Zuhri there is
an addition (of these words):" If he likes he may (have intercourse) being on
the back or in front of her, but it should be through one opening (vagina)."
Chapter 22: AL AZL (INCOMPLETE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE): COITUS INTERRUPTUS
Abu Sirma said to Abu Sa'id al Khadri (Allah he pleased with him): 0 Abu Sa'id,
did you hear Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) mentioning al-'azl? He
said: Yes, and added: We went out with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him)
on the expedition to the Bi'l-Mustaliq and took captive some excellent Arab
women; and we desired them, for we were suffering from the absence of our wives,
(but at the same time) we also desired ransom for them. So we decided to have
sexual intercourse with them but by observing 'azl (Withdrawing the male sexual
organ before emission of semen to avoid-conception). But we said: We are doing
an act whereas Allah's Messenger is amongst us; why not ask him? So we asked
Allah's Mes- senger (may peace be upon him), and he said: It does not matter if
you do not do it, for every soul that is to be born up to the Day of
Resurrection will be born.
Chapter 23: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH A PREGNANT SLAVE-WOMAN
Abu Darda' (Allah be pleased with him) related from the Prophet of Allah (may
peace be upon him) that he came upon a woman who was in the advanced stage of
pregnancy at the door of a tent. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Perhaps he (the man
accompanying her) intends to cohabit with her. They said: Yes. Thereupon Allah's
Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: I have decided to curse him with such a
curse as may go along with him to his grave. How can he own him (the child to be
born) and that is not lawful for him, and how can he take him as a servant for
that is not lawful for him?
Chapter 24: PERMISSIBILITY OF INTERCOURSE WITH A SUCKLING LADY AND DISAPPROVAL
OF 'AZL
Judama daughter of Wahb, sister of Ukkasha (Allah be pleased with her).
reported: I went to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) along with some
persons and he was saying: I intended to prohibit cohabitation with the suckling
women, but I considered the Greeks and Persians, and saw that they suckle their
children and this thing (cohabitation) does not do any harm to them (to the
suckling women). Then they asked him about 'azl, whereupon he said. That is the
secret (way of) burying alive, and Ubaidullah has made this addition in the
hadith transmitted by al-Muqri and that is:" When the one buried alive is
asked."
Chapter 27: ONE SUCKLING OR TWO DO NOT MAKE MARRIAGE UNLAWFUL
Umm al-Fadl reported: A bedouin came to Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him)
when he was in my house and said: Allah's Apostle, I have had a wife and I
married another besides her, and my first wife claimed that she had suckled once
or twice my newly married wife, thereupon Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon
him) said: One suckling or two do not make the (marriage) unlawful.
Chapter 28: SUCKLING OF A YOUNG (BOY)
' A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Sahla bint Suhail came to
Allah's Apostle (may peace be eupon him) and said: Messengerof Allah, I see on
the face of Abu Hudhaifa (signs of disgust) on entering of Salim (who is an
ally) into (our house), whereupon Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) said:
Suckle him. She said: How can I suckle him as he is a grown-up man? Allah's
Messenger (may peace be upon him) smiled and said: I already know that he is a
young man 'Amr has made this addition in his narration that he participated in
the Battle of Badr and in the narration of Ibn 'Umar (the words are): Allah's
Messenger (may peace be upon him) laughed.
Chapter 29: IT IS PERMISSIBLE TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH A CAPTIVE WOMAN
AFTER SHE IS PURIFIED (OF MENSES OR DELIVERY) IN CASE SHE HAS A HUSBAND, HER
MARRIAGE IS ABROGATED AFTER SHE BECOMES CAPTIVE
So if we just "draw attention away from" everything the blacks say, but still let them say it, that's not censorship? Try to slip that one past the NAACP.
I say we shut down Massachusetts and enlist the space as an enormous landfill. Thanks to the Kennedys, it's already a moral sewer; might as well bring the metaphor to life.
They don't beleive in market liberalism, and they don't believe in socialism either. They only believe in tricking a large number of unrelated special interests to pool their votes and get them elected, so they can stick cigars in their interns' vaginas.
These Linux fuckheads don't mind completely ignoring new laws such as the DMCA, but dredge up some old law made during the time of monarchy and slavery to stop spam? Everyone here complains when companies use the letter rather than the spirit of law to twist things in their favor. Now some dubious ancient law is being applied to electronic mail? Gimmie a fucking break.
Goatargeting
Want to reach global customers on a regional level? OSDN Goatargeting is a good place to start. Maybe you have a product that only appeals to a certain homosexual audience. It could be that your product only has regional appeal due to extreme wideness or level of lubrication. Or, you may just want to test a localized market before stretching your market as wide as it can go. We can target your offering to just about any country or region of the anus.
* 23% of OSDN's page impressions come from homosexual domains
* 63% of international page impressions are from communist countries
* 10% of international page impressions are from Junis in Afghanistan
Top-level Domain Targeting
Need to reach a specific industry segment, such as child pornographers or zoophiles? If you are looking to reach these types of domains we can deliver your message to the right target.
Contact us for more information on our unique targeting opportunities. Pricing is dependent on degree of targeting, firmness and willingness of your ass, and available inventory.
Fucking hilarious. Mod this gentleperson upwards!
Searching for '"your mom" slut' on Google Groups retreives over 7800 results. Also notable is that "queries" and 'results" are not the same thing.
Has Netcraft confirmed that *BSD is dying? If so, do you have any additional informaion you can give me about this prickly issue?
So Russians steal more than just gold medals?
It's spelled "Barclay".
[Roto-Rooter Man hangs his head in shame.]
What the hell is going on here?
Uh oh. Looks like Jon Katz had another one of his "special" parties.
Why even waste the money on an enormous Jew-holding rocket? Surely NASA could build some giant tube that could shoot them up there one at a time, sans any ship whatsoever.