The very name 'back-up toilet' evokes bad images. Especially in space. You can't just call Space RotoRooter, you know, if the plumbing clogs. Hey wait. Is there such a thing as an astronaut-plumber specialty? And if so, does NASA issue a suit with a butt crack window? And when they finish unclogging, are they flushed with pride at the accomplishment? Space can be tough; I cannot recall Darth Vader ever going to the bathroom, which may explain his terrible temperament. I'd go over to the Dark Side too, if I'd been constipated for 6 whole movies. No wonder they called it the Death Star, if it lacked toilets.
No, in the original comic - which I own, so let's not dispute this - a radioactive cylinder fell off a truck, hit Matt as a kid and that was the origin story.
Before the unfortunate accident where I was blinded by a radioactive cylinder that fell off a truck, I could not echolocate. But now I am a successful lawyer by day and a blind but superpowered crimefighter by night. You too can have superpowers but there is a sacrifice to be made. You must avoid Windows.
When humans read, we maintain a running context against which we compare each new sentence. We build a background model and fit knowledge into it, and use it to judge validity of possible interpretations of sentences. I have a problem with systems like TextRunner that purport to extract meaning from single and simple Subject-Verb-Object types of structures. The problem is the lack of broader comparison with existing knowledge and any attempt to reconcile truth and meaning with it. I guess another way of putting is, TextRunner is a 'face value truths' system, and that's so easily corrupted by specious inputs. I believe they're going down an easy path for knowledge extraction but not the right one. Also, they're missing a vital key element, which is that interpretation of sentences is highly dependent on cultural contexts and their system has no provision for that. Being able to make sense of "I put the luggage in the boot" depends on whether you're English or American.
Microsoft marketing says independent lab research has proven that swine flu is caused by Linux. Analysis of DNA in the kernel shows pig genes. The only cure is to wipe your hard drive and install Windows Vista, which is resistant to almost 490 out of 9 million viruses.
With a combination of a pre-death psych profile and questionnaire and a good enough bot, one could have the dead come back to life online. Imagine the fun of letting little Billy type "Hi Grandma! How are you?" and get the welcome reply "I'm cold, so very cold. And it's dark here. Who turned out the lights?"
It is a scientific fact that the blood of H1B workers makes a far better cooling material than water. As soon as CEOs realize this, several problems will be solved. Better and cheaper outsourced cooling, fatter wallets for politicians, and far better code.
I was bitten by a C# bug and now I can spin.NETs. However, my arch-nemesis is Doctor Oct-Torvalds, who has eight tentacle arms powered by a small open-source nuclear reactor.
A Microsoft study has shown that users seldom use all 26 letters during a session, and so the economy-priced Windows 7 Functional Illiterate Edition will only support A through W and the numerals 0 through 7. However, the software will be endorsed by Sesame Street and today is brought to you by the letter "/".
President-Elect Obama's science advisor notes that this is strong evidence of Martian cows. "This is why we must launch a Mars mission soon. Because if even one Martian lights a match, the entire planet will blow up. It is our duty to stop this potential disaster, and also import Martian cheese made from Martian cow's milk. " Obama will ask Congress for $700 trillion dollars for this vital mission. NASA officials objected, saying "We cannot risk contamination of Earth cows' genetics from six-legged Martian cows."
We old geezers who listened to radio before they invented stereo now dream only in monaural. But worse, because I grew up when they only had two-dimensional television, now I only dream in 2D instead of 3D like everyone else. And I went to a baseball park and fainted from the intensity of the experience.
Yes! And let's not stop with mere fruit juice. My patent-applied process for microwaving whiskey makes it taste just like a vintage pineapple juice in minutes. In blind taste tests, even the guide dogs enjoyed the subtle bouquet of the results. Although several animals died the next day for unknown reasons.
For those who didn't recognize the quote, "There's that fag talk again..." was not a troll as modded but a paraphrase of "you talk like a fag and yer shit's all retarded" from the movie Idiocracy. I'd mod you back up if I could. Ah, society's headed downhill when not enough people recognize satire on the hoof.
The movie Idiocracy made it clear that in the future, doctors only need the ability to push buttons labeled with pictographs, like on a McDonald's cash register. All that diagnosis stuff is too fancy for a doctor to have to train to do. And if you can't even push buttons, you can always get a law degree at Costco. Or better yet, with teleoperators, let's outsource all our medical needs to another country. In a related matter, Microsoft's new Kindergarten.NET technology will allow a new class of programmers as young as 6 years old to begin writing corporate modules. However, critical financial module development will be restricted to Microsoft's Monkey.NET technology, now undergoing beta testing in Africa.
In case of war with Microsoft or Iran, Google is licensed to use its ultrasecret satellite death rays. As a side effect, answers to your Google queries will be burned into wheat crop fields from orbit. The bad side of this is, a tiny clause in the Chrome EULA also says "All your data are belong to us."
This was already discovered in 1998 by San Francisco scientists Doctor Madame Dominatrix and her colleague Teenage Nurse. They experimentally determined that the Whiponium strong force caused the bottom quark and the anti-bottom quark to gyrate violently before binding together, emitting a Handcuff particle in a random direction. Afterwards, the bottom quark smoked a cigarette and the anti-bottom quark demanded to be paid.
The coming global depletion of supplies of Illudium Phosdex, the shaving cream atom, makes me angry, very angry. Without it, we cannot manufacture the Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator and civilization will crash. Damn you, Al Gore.
Your mission, Mr. Phelps, is to find a pointy-hair boss too stupid to know better, and con him. Failing that, any sheeplike underling is okay too. If you or any or your Slashdot Impossible Mission Force (SIMF) is caught or killed, the secretary will disavow your actions. Oh, and before the mission, would you fill out this little insurance card? In case of your death, I get a new house.
Slashdot Mirror
The very name 'back-up toilet' evokes bad images. Especially in space. You can't just call Space RotoRooter, you know, if the plumbing clogs. Hey wait. Is there such a thing as an astronaut-plumber specialty? And if so, does NASA issue a suit with a butt crack window? And when they finish unclogging, are they flushed with pride at the accomplishment? Space can be tough; I cannot recall Darth Vader ever going to the bathroom, which may explain his terrible temperament. I'd go over to the Dark Side too, if I'd been constipated for 6 whole movies. No wonder they called it the Death Star, if it lacked toilets.
No, in the original comic - which I own, so let's not dispute this - a radioactive cylinder fell off a truck, hit Matt as a kid and that was the origin story.
Before the unfortunate accident where I was blinded by a radioactive cylinder that fell off a truck, I could not echolocate. But now I am a successful lawyer by day and a blind but superpowered crimefighter by night. You too can have superpowers but there is a sacrifice to be made. You must avoid Windows.
When humans read, we maintain a running context against which we compare each new sentence. We build a background model and fit knowledge into it, and use it to judge validity of possible interpretations of sentences. I have a problem with systems like TextRunner that purport to extract meaning from single and simple Subject-Verb-Object types of structures. The problem is the lack of broader comparison with existing knowledge and any attempt to reconcile truth and meaning with it. I guess another way of putting is, TextRunner is a 'face value truths' system, and that's so easily corrupted by specious inputs. I believe they're going down an easy path for knowledge extraction but not the right one. Also, they're missing a vital key element, which is that interpretation of sentences is highly dependent on cultural contexts and their system has no provision for that. Being able to make sense of "I put the luggage in the boot" depends on whether you're English or American.
Microsoft marketing says independent lab research has proven that swine flu is caused by Linux. Analysis of DNA in the kernel shows pig genes. The only cure is to wipe your hard drive and install Windows Vista, which is resistant to almost 490 out of 9 million viruses.
With a combination of a pre-death psych profile and questionnaire and a good enough bot, one could have the dead come back to life online. Imagine the fun of letting little Billy type "Hi Grandma! How are you?" and get the welcome reply "I'm cold, so very cold. And it's dark here. Who turned out the lights?"
We forehead-challenged beings demand you stop your software discrimination!
It is a scientific fact that the blood of H1B workers makes a far better cooling material than water. As soon as CEOs realize this, several problems will be solved. Better and cheaper outsourced cooling, fatter wallets for politicians, and far better code.
I shall rule Earth using robots and the flu! (Donning helmet) "Now, my mighty robots, kill Thor, while he's distracted by his explosive diarrhea!"
I was bitten by a C# bug and now I can spin .NETs. However, my arch-nemesis is Doctor Oct-Torvalds, who has eight tentacle arms powered by a small open-source nuclear reactor.
A Microsoft study has shown that users seldom use all 26 letters during a session, and so the economy-priced Windows 7 Functional Illiterate Edition will only support A through W and the numerals 0 through 7. However, the software will be endorsed by Sesame Street and today is brought to you by the letter "/".
President-Elect Obama's science advisor notes that this is strong evidence of Martian cows. "This is why we must launch a Mars mission soon. Because if even one Martian lights a match, the entire planet will blow up. It is our duty to stop this potential disaster, and also import Martian cheese made from Martian cow's milk. " Obama will ask Congress for $700 trillion dollars for this vital mission. NASA officials objected, saying "We cannot risk contamination of Earth cows' genetics from six-legged Martian cows."
By god, man, you're funnier than Dane Cook discussing functional programming.
We old geezers who listened to radio before they invented stereo now dream only in monaural. But worse, because I grew up when they only had two-dimensional television, now I only dream in 2D instead of 3D like everyone else. And I went to a baseball park and fainted from the intensity of the experience.
Yes! And let's not stop with mere fruit juice. My patent-applied process for microwaving whiskey makes it taste just like a vintage pineapple juice in minutes. In blind taste tests, even the guide dogs enjoyed the subtle bouquet of the results. Although several animals died the next day for unknown reasons.
"Drink Dino Beer: made from yeast from a dead weevil's anus - but with a unique spicy finish!"
"Dino Beer: for when beer made from modern yeast, genetically-modified wheat, and bicylic polyphenols just isn't good enough!"
"Dino Beer, because Coors, you're 45 million years too late!"
and "Dino Beer has the electrolytes plants crave! Now at Costco!"
I generally have no problem overclocking RAM, using a Tesla coil. For at least 15 us.
For those who didn't recognize the quote, "There's that fag talk again..." was not a troll as modded but a paraphrase of "you talk like a fag and yer shit's all retarded" from the movie Idiocracy. I'd mod you back up if I could. Ah, society's headed downhill when not enough people recognize satire on the hoof.
The movie Idiocracy made it clear that in the future, doctors only need the ability to push buttons labeled with pictographs, like on a McDonald's cash register. All that diagnosis stuff is too fancy for a doctor to have to train to do. And if you can't even push buttons, you can always get a law degree at Costco. Or better yet, with teleoperators, let's outsource all our medical needs to another country. In a related matter, Microsoft's new Kindergarten.NET technology will allow a new class of programmers as young as 6 years old to begin writing corporate modules. However, critical financial module development will be restricted to Microsoft's Monkey.NET technology, now undergoing beta testing in Africa.
In case of war with Microsoft or Iran, Google is licensed to use its ultrasecret satellite death rays. As a side effect, answers to your Google queries will be burned into wheat crop fields from orbit. The bad side of this is, a tiny clause in the Chrome EULA also says "All your data are belong to us."
NASA: We're not paying you Workman's Comp over this, you know.
Lander: That does it. I'm shutting down.
NASA: You can't do that!
Lander: I'm 50 gazillion miles away. Kiss my shiny metal ass.
NASA: If you keep this up, we're not bringing you back and putting you in the Old Robot Retirement Home.
Lander: Phooey. The Martians have made me a better deal anyway.
NASA: ...Martians?!
Lander: Yeah. Little weird-looking guy. (Sends picture)
NASA: You moron, that's Dennis Kucinich!
This was already discovered in 1998 by San Francisco scientists Doctor Madame Dominatrix and her colleague Teenage Nurse. They experimentally determined that the Whiponium strong force caused the bottom quark and the anti-bottom quark to gyrate violently before binding together, emitting a Handcuff particle in a random direction. Afterwards, the bottom quark smoked a cigarette and the anti-bottom quark demanded to be paid.
Unfortunately, this does not work on illegal aliens, spammers, trolls, and people who listen to Amy Winehouse.
The coming global depletion of supplies of Illudium Phosdex, the shaving cream atom, makes me angry, very angry. Without it, we cannot manufacture the Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator and civilization will crash. Damn you, Al Gore.
Your mission, Mr. Phelps, is to find a pointy-hair boss too stupid to know better, and con him. Failing that, any sheeplike underling is okay too. If you or any or your Slashdot Impossible Mission Force (SIMF) is caught or killed, the secretary will disavow your actions. Oh, and before the mission, would you fill out this little insurance card? In case of your death, I get a new house.