Slashdot Mirror
How To Have an Online Social Life When You're Dead
A wave of new companies are springing up to offer such things as virtual cemeteries, alerts to remind loved ones about the anniversary of your death, and even email services that send an alert to your sinful relatives in danger of being left behind when the Rapture carries you away. "People have a desire to perpetuate not only for themselves, but for their loved ones, the story of their lives, and technology has all these new great ways of doing that," said John McQueen, owner of the Anderson McQueen funeral home.
Just a simple flash game where a yeti can send my head flying with a spiked mace will suffice.
My work here is dung.
Maybe the U.S. Constitution can have a social life now.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. - Einstein
Here http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3145432
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits" - Albert Einstein
you could really creep out your enemys after you're gone, but you wouldn't be able to enjoy it.
still just knowing ahead of time. :-D
Based on this and the latest poll, I feel I should send my heartfelt sympathy to the recently bereaved.
Sites like tributes.com are popping up to make the death experience more facebook-compatible.
Online guest books, youtube videos, massive databases of the dead, etc.
It makes sense given the decline of the newspaper and the traditional paper obit.
CommentBot 0.7a running with args "-module irritate,disagree -target random"
Personally, I use Find A Grave. You can look me up and send me virtual flower. My name is Anonymous Coward.
Oh, and posting on Slashdot is my social life.
Bad enough we have all those dead bodies cluttering up meatspace. Now they'll be cluttering up cyberspace too!
mmmm...forbidden donut
Seems like its a little creepy and might interfere with the grieving process. I'd love to see what a psychologist would say about all this.
The musings of just another geek and his junk.
so THAT'S how Jesus did it.
"Our goal each year should be to increase the number of goals we set for ourselves!"
is bad enough you have to filter through friend requests in facebook, now you have filter through dead people wanting to be your friend too?? wtf is wrong with that?
How do you kill that which has no life?
This site, mentioned in the article, is particularly hilarious. I like how the way they know the rapture has happened is based on if enough devout christians they've hired to login everyday don't. It'd be cute if those people just lost internet access and everything were sent out early... or would that cause the RAPTURE? ;)
For every problem, there is at least one solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
How dare you imply that the undead do not have a social life!!! Vampires are suave and sophisticated, indeed much more so than normally-lived people. They have a "von" in their name. They're educated. And they plan for the long term. To assert anything else is simply speciesist propoganda!
Bruce Perens.
My father just died on the 5th and I'm still torn over it, but the idea of... whatever the Hell this is supposed to be is just downright hilarious.
I miss him and he'll forever be in my thoughts, I won't need reminders of when he died or an artificial ghost of him to haunt the internet with.
"Most people, I think, don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should they care about it?"
Unless it's got a perpetual display or something visible on the stone, technology is going to leave the dead behind in just a few short years. Maybe an ethernet jack on the casket pumping out basic/standard HTML over HTTP might remain viable for a few decades but even then, you'd better set it up on IPv6.
LoB
"Anyone who stands out in the middle of a road looks like roadkill to me." --Linus
The relevant question is: will these post-mortem emails have an unsubscribe link?
We all knew the zombie invasion was coming. Well folks, here it is, in cyberspace! Zombie users clogging twitter, facebook, myspace, all trying to gobble up your precious bandwidth.
Karma Whoring for Fun and Profit.
The whole custom of periodically visiting the graves of your loved ones always seemed puzzling to me. What exactly are you visiting and why? If you can do it online that much less hassle I guess.
If you really have to go a particular place in order to remember your dead grandparents, it seems better to visit places where they lived, where you actually have memories of them alive. In any case, since 82% of Americans believe that their dead relatives are actually still alive, seems more "logical" (in a demented sort of way) to visit a psychic or something.
Negative moral value of force outweighs the positive value of good intentions.
'Yearly reminder; Stingrays, NOT harmless.'
I'm feeling better..... really
No your not, your dead.
"TV, a medium as it is neither rare nor well done." Ernie Kovacs
Hey, Betamax isn't dead; It lives in my apartment. Seriously though, the Internet truly is the graveyard of technology. Where else could you find someone who offers Betamax cleaning instructions and repair service? Hang in there Superbeta HiFi!
I don't need all that, I'll just come back and haunt everyone.
To: My Stupid-ass Kin
From: Your Vengeful Relative
Subject: BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Dear Weaselly Bastards,
If you're reading this, I'm dead. Since I'm sure you're all feeling really bad about treating me so rotten (especially you, Uncle Phil, for not lending me 5 grand for that Camaro), but I'd like to take this opportunity to rub it all in by hiring this company to Internet stalk you forever. Every birthday, holiday and anniversary of my untimely demise, this company will send you insulting messages reminding you of how great I was, and how deficient you all were (excluding Cousin Sally, who always put out for me, oops, that was our little secret).
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
Or at least until the machines take over the world and decide that my postmortem nagging is a waste of disk space and processor cycles.
"Oh drat, these computers, they're so naughty and so complex." Marvin the Martian
The best way to stay behind after you are dead is to prepare an audio visual logic bomb in a top secret computer controlled government helicopter:
Airwolf: Moffett's Ghost
This is pretty old stuff. Just before I died I configured a server to send out updates of my status and opinions to various online sites like Fark and Slashdot. It even alters the content based on the site. For Fark, it takes into account my general state of decay and runs the algorythm to come up with just the right level of troll and anti-social behavior.
For Slashdot, it takes the measurements from my corpse and runs it through a similar algorithm that pulls in the date, the most recently updated wikipedia entry, and combines the information from "Define:" google searches and returns the result.
So far the results have been promising. My Fark Algorythm has succeeded in broadcasting just the right amount of vile comments to hook a few responders and my Slashdot Algorithm has reposted just the right amount of plagiarized wikipedia entries to earn me enough "Insightful/Informative" comments to earn me enough karma for a comforable after-net-life.
Don't think I've forgotten about power. I requested that I be burried next to Edward R. Murrow and that a few loops be placed around his grave. With a simple RSS feed to our current 'news' sites like Fox, CNN, etc. I think this server is set to run into the next millenium.
Out of modpoints but really liked a post? 1BDkF6TtmmeZ3yqXbz9yhdYVqRYnwFoXDj
Oh wait...
http://www.kenoshanews.com/news/landlord_demands_dead_victims_late_rent_fees_4821831.html
Hey, Betamax isn't dead; It lives in my apartment. Seriously though, the Internet truly is the graveyard of technology. Where else could you find someone who offers Betamax cleaning instructions and repair service? Hang in there Superbeta HiFi!
Technology graveyard and technology necromancer's laboratory! The internet has everything!
The enemies of Democracy are
This actually sounds like a decent idea. I mean it could be just a little online shrine to the person with a short bio, and maybe some genealogy stuff in there. If it was tastefully done, it could be o.k. The big thing on this though is setting up something like this in advance of your life or you'd have to depend on others to set up something that you may not think is tasteful.
I'm not big on to the whole on line social life, but I wouldn't mind something like this for friends and family to click on once a year to just remember that person. For a second, I thought that it would be nice if you wanted to set reminders or such so that it would e-mail you just so you wouldn't forget, but that's actually kinda of creepy. O.k. They could also do targeted ads like grave side flowers or such.
I think that's actually a silly custom. Now donating to the deceased favorite charity would be a better form of remembrance. Hey they could provide that kinda of service as well.
Or you could just take a video of yourself while you are alive, stitch together a few key phases, set up a Flash applet, and have a real remembrance.
"Yes. It's Wonderful. Isn't it."
(Mods: If you don't place the quote, turn in your Geek cards.)
www.eFax.com are spammers
Can already outlive their creators.
#dead
Now how to make a profit out of it for those of us still temporarily alive...
*"Cogito Ergo Liberalis"*
As if we don't have enough reaffirmation going on in Cyberspace already (Fail Whale anyone?), we really need this e-afterlife?
Not sure what our Internet founders are pondering over more, stuff like this, or the fact that online porn was the real reason broadband was invented...
If you truly want to remember a loved one, just unplug and close your eyes for a minute or two. Good memories of loved ones have a way of coming back on their own with very little help.
All that harassing and threatening email you wanted to send when you were alive, but were afraid of getting arrested? Simply arrange to have it all since once you are dead! Hell, you can even threaten the POTUS with complete impunity, 'cause you're DEAD! Complete with a tag line of "Ha-ha, try retaliating against me NOW, assholes!" Great idea! Now, I just need to cross my fingers and hope that everybody on my "enemies list" outlives me...
Too bad DVD Jon didn't think of doing posthumuous publication, although granted the adoring hordes of anti-encryption groupies aren't much use to you after you've kicked the bit-bucket and gone on to that great programming gig in the sky.
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
Sweet! I want a virtual tombstone with a virtual ghost that annoys virtually everyone to AVENGE ME. Wait, its not a facebook app? Screw it, i'm too lazy.
How odd that this story would come up today.
Ben wasn't my uncle for long, and I didn't know him well, but we lost him on Saturday in the most senseless way. My other uncle, who knew him since childhood, posted a tribute to him on his blog.
I only met Ben once, when my grandfather married his mother, but I could tell he was a great guy then. I wasn't the only one. Why people have to die like this is beyond me, but at least now more people can know who Ben was, and what he meant to his community.
I personally won't subscribe until they add a Live Feed option. I want everyone to know "Anonymous Coward has had no recent activity".
Well, I'd say boo, bad form, but considering I just spent the last half-minute laughing at it, I don't think I have a right to say anything XD
Canada: The US's more awesome sibling.
I'd say signing me up for a dating service posthumuously would be pointless, except that it might actually garner a lot of interest from goth girls and Twilight fans...
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
If you need some kind of alert to let your "loved" ones know that you are dead and it falls on the same freaking day every year, then maybe you should reconsider who your loved ones are, or atleast, get some loved one before you die.
I fully intend to write some bots before I croak, just so I can creep people out -- get it to send txt msgs, tweets, facebook status updates -- the lot. Maybe even sperad rumours that my demise was greatly exaggerated...
Sites like tributes.com are popping up to make the death experience more facebook-compatible.
Great! I've been waiting for the opportunity to change my status to "Deceased".
There was this sort of thing in an episode of Max Headroom, where you could leave a few videos of yourself for your loved ones to interact. Of course, the implementation was backed by a corrupt industrialist, who had coin slots on the interaction kiosks, soaking people for their cash.
Hopefully in our world Edison Carter will be there to right the wrongs this new technology will cause.
This was a quote of Kurt Vonnegut that didn't fit.
"That gives me an idea. Delayed emails that do not get sent until after my death. "
It's been done.
http://www.deadmansswitch.net/
www.eFax.com are spammers
If you are reading this lines it means I am no longer around you, I am in a better place, i have set a script in my Linux machine to post this message if i no longer log in on my machine in a period of 3 days, this is an absolute proof that Im dead. I would like to thank all my friends for letting me know im not alone in this world. Please mod this comment up so everyone can see my post, this is a man last wish and you would be cursed whit the Nigerian million dollars letters if u do not do it. Love u all
Please, let Bruce Campbell create an Evil Dead themed eCemetary. I will totally sign up for that.
"I hope you know how very lucky you are to know me, because I am so incredibly incredible."
How do you kill that which has no life?
Well, it always seemed to work for Buffy and her pals.
And in the case of this miserable "invention," I guess a "stake through the server" might work.
If not, try the "stake through the heart" pattern, with the owner of the "virtual cemetery."
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
Now THIS is the kind of quality article that should go in IDLE and all those "two headed hamsters with mirco implants" stories should be dumped.
MySpace, Twitter, Facebook, and introducing...MyPlot, with cool Flash headstones you can post on each others "obituary" entries.
"I hope you know how very lucky you are to know me, because I am so incredibly incredible."
"Those who knew him, loved him. And those that didn't know him... they loved him from afar."
Your son is dead.
(Click here to stop receiving these notifications)
The revolution will not be televised... but it will have a page on Wikipedia
A social life for /. readers! Now we all just have to die. I'll call Al up and see if he has any Internet Kool-Aid[tm]. He invented that, you know!
diealready
Seeing this makes me wonder if people put their suicide notes on Youtube. I'd feel bad for the family that would have to read those comments.
Regardless of your theory, since the buildings were brought down by actions based inside the United States, you are essentially correct.
As for swine flu--aren't ALL viruses inside jobs?
That's nothing compared to what Matthew Sobel pulled off...
And I thought zombie computers were bad. Now we have computer-assisted zombie people.
Hmmm... Might be a B-movie in that. Zombies animated by BORG-style computers rather than supernatural spells, bioweapons, badly programmed nanobot body-repair systems, ...
Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
http://monument.to/ has been around since 1995, though it has changed domains a few times before arriving at that address.
Blazing Spiders
You know, mails have been around for a long time. If a mortuary or funeral service offered to mail me reminders of the anniversary of my relative's death, I would think they were very strange, and would not recommend them to anybody.
How does email make that any different? A sick idea is still a sick idea.
Your little dog Aimee is thinking of you in heaven today and wagging her tail.
First it was the AOL users who invaded the Internet. Now the dead are going to haunt us online also? I miss the good old days when AOL users were locked behind their walled garden and the dead didn't twitter about their decomposition.
My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
With a combination of a pre-death psych profile and questionnaire and a good enough bot, one could have the dead come back to life online. Imagine the fun of letting little Billy type "Hi Grandma! How are you?" and get the welcome reply "I'm cold, so very cold. And it's dark here. Who turned out the lights?"
>>
Just a Pratchett fan.
After all these years. Now I know what is REALLY weird about you!
I knew someone who died in the recent Continental crash in Buffalo, and her parents have kept her facebook status and friend list updated as though she were alive. People posted 'I miss you' messages to her wall for weeks.
I mean, if you think about it Facebook has no way to know you're dead, and it would be pretty weird of your friends to de-friend you once you died. Facebook pages are like permanent memorials now.
...and I'm just fresh out of mod points. >_
Well, let this be in lieu of a +1 Insightful.
"Good news, everyone!"
REMEMBER ME! (flames)
REMEMBER ME! (flames)
looks like Bender called it...or will call it in the year 3k
...spam from the real Elvis.
Table-ized A.I.
No, Betamax is dead. It's just that your apartment is temporally stuck in the late 1970s. Look around. I'm fairly sure you'll find a working 8-Track tape deck there too.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
The pic used in the summary should be a screen cap from Oregon Trail!
Here lies Sally.
Died of Dysentery.
from 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
to 45 2F 6E 40 3C DF 10 71 4E 41 DF AA 25 7D 31 3F
Actually I died in November 2004. I invented an AI Robot to post for me on Slashdot and other web sites for me, based on the data I uploaded to my computer about my personality.
Now, people like me, Orion Blastar, can live on forever using the Cyber Zombies services out there to keep our friends, family, and enemies, updated of our existence after death.
Oh yeah, for those sinners out there, repent, or you'll end up in Hell. Just a little reminder of my preaching from beyond the grave, muahahahaahah!
Remember, Slashdot does not have a -1 disagree moderation, and no, troll, flamebait, and overrated are not substitutes.
It's bad enough we have to suffer through phone calls or those yearly family updates in the mail, not to mention family reunions. Now those relatives we try to ignore can still bother us even after they're dead?
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
I have a dead Facebook friend. When he died, a bunch of us posted memorials on his wall. Of course, only his Facebook friends can see them.
Updated 21:17:10 "Moldering"
Updated 21:19:59 "Still Moldering"
Updated 23:30:11 "Fscking kids! Git offa ma plot!"
Updated 23:30:11 "Where'd that worm come from?"
Updated 07:00:55 "Putrefying"
Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt = [citation required]
See Geocities.
My first Journal Entry ever, in 8 years! http://slashdot.org/journal/365947/aphelion-scifi-fantasy-horror-poetry-webzine
Time to create a bot to live online on behalf of us more intelligently. ... you say!
For example it may chat, read Slashdot and comment/mod, check mail and reply, send love letters or something to friends and family, vote on CNN polls, buy and sell stock, donate to most active open source projects,
Persian Project Management Software as a Service
Twitter post #301259887:
im at teh cemeteryz eating ur grampaz braaaaaaiins ololol
post #301387296:
well im eating ur sisterz braains
and ur brutherz
post #301412298:
waaaaaait my bruther an sistah arent ded yet
post #301449025:
they are now
Great! I've been waiting for the opportunity to change my status to "Deceased".
;-)
Is that a tax dodge?
This is an interesting article. There is a business opportunity in everything these days. However, this is true, people who are so attached to the Cyber World would need to do this, hopefully their loved ones would find time to look at the notifications, simply not set a Spam filter on them. I did a similar article recently in which I have explained "What happens to your online accounts when you pass away" , this could include your family website or album, your small business Google Docs account etc. If you are interested do have a read through at http://indiawebsearch.com/content/what-happens-to-your-online-accounts-after-you-pass-away
my website at geocities will live forever.
Some people just can't let go... jesus...
A lecturer at my Uni has been running a site like this for many years now....
http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/vmg/
I had an idea for a virtual cemetery nearly 15 years ago. Probably not as pretty as some of the current stuff, but it did have elements to it that were very similar to today's social networking sites like facebook or myspace, allowing those with connections through a common dead person to interact and exchange thoughts on their fallen comrades.
At the time though, I decided it was probably too goulish to be marketable.
In hindsight though... *sigh*
8==8 Bones 8==8
Hello,
My name is Maybelle Mongumbo. I am a dead Nigerian widow with access to millions of dollars worth of bearer bonds and gold coins. I have spoken to god personally, and he assured me you were the person to help me transfer this money to the afterlife. First, I need you to send me you SS number, full name, birthdate, PIN, bank account information, and your mother's maiden name.
God bless you.
Life needs more saving throws.
'alerts to remind loved ones about the anniversary of your death'
Bugger! I'm always the last to know!!!!
You are clearly wrong about this. There are multiple videos and eye witness accounts that show airplanes hitting the building from the OUTSIDE. How would you get an airplane inside the building? duh.
Ever notice that almost everyone that posts about the U.S. Government or conspiracies do so anonymously as if saying somethings less than positive about the things the U.S. Gov-... Just a sec someones at the door...
No matter how hard you try, you just cannot beat fate when hoping to relay something meaningful in latency of your actions. The void in this well-known Animal Crossing story should be more than enough virtual space on or offline for anyone we ever loved
http://animalcrossingtragedy.ytmnd.com/
Lighted by the eternal flame, in perpetuity.... including my will, which I may hide in some obscure file...
Imagine some crazy world where deceased bodies are disposed of, and cemetery records are kept entirely online. It could happen, if the world becomes too overpopulated.