Why should No Such Agencies fucking care about receiving spam? You would probably be the one getting busted for collecting their addresses with unlegitimate intents.
God damn motherhooker! That's $102,360.00 for a fucking digital camera! Only to end up on cheap VHS tape at video rental clubs a year later. So much for quality equipment.
Patrick> Hello,
Patrick> I was wondering if you could direct me to a copy of the JPEG that was
Patrick> once at sarcasta.net of you displaying your bountiful bosom. I need
Patrick> it for a novella I am writing for Slashdot. Thanks in advance.
Patrick> Ciao!
Patrick> Patrick Bateman, Esq.
Kathleen> MY REPLY: You have *got* to be kidding!
Patrick> Hello Kathleen,
Patrick> I must admit that I thought the chance you would honor my request was
Patrick> slim, but I'd like to assure you that the image will undergo only
Patrick> minimal modification, and that all nudity will be tasteful and
Patrick> integral to the plot.
Patrick> Sincerely Yours, Patrick
Kathleen> Um.... maybe you should explain why my "nudity" will be integral to
Kathleen> the plot of this er, "novel" you claim to be writing.;o)
Patrick> Hello again,
Patrick> Just to clarify, I never said "your" nudity will be integral to the
Patrick> plot, I said "all" nudity, which does not necessarily include you.
Patrick> The only well-formed chapter I have that features nudity is a visit
Patrick> by Open Source advocate and communist agitprop activist Richard
Patrick> Stallmann to a clothing-optional abattoir in rural England (where he
Patrick> contracts a nasty case of Foot-and-Mouth disease). I reserve the
Patrick> right to incorporate nudity in other chapters, but I haven't yet.
Patrick> Anywho, without giving away too much of the plot, the novella will
Patrick> contain characters from the Slashdot universe. This includes real
Patrick> people like CmdrTaco, Hemos, JonKatz, spiralx, Sarcasta, etc., as
Patrick> well as their meatspace avatars: "Rob Malda", "Jeff Bates", "Jeffrey
Patrick> Dahmer", "Tony Blair", "Kathleen Fent", etc. Props like the Slashdot
Patrick> Cruiser, Geek Compound, hot grits, and VA Linux stock certificates
Patrick> will also figure prominently.
Patrick> Sincerely Yours, Patrick
Kathleen> Hmmmmm... so why do you need a *picture* if this is a novel?
Kathleen> I am intrigued.
Patrick> For the cover, of course.
Patrick> - Patrick
Kathleen> You're a smooth talker. Bet you're a big hit with the ladies! But
Kathleen> how do I know it's not going to end up with buck teeth and horns
Kathleen> drawn in... or worse yet...
Kathleen> NIPPLES!
Kathleen> *gasp*
Patrick> Well, I'm not sure what to say to convince you that I won't do such a
Patrick> thing (teeth-horns-nipples), but my plan was to add a costume to the
Patrick> picture for the character of Sarcasta.
Patrick> Otherwise the cover will have to be of Stallman and a goat, and there
Patrick> *will* be nipples, teeth, and horns in that one. The purpose of this
Patrick> exercise is satire, not malice, so... no sarcastic nipples.
Patrick> Sincerely, Patrick
Kathleen> OK... I'm sold.;o)
Kathleen> This is too funny. Can't pass it up. Here ya go.
Kathleen> http://www.fent.net/graphics/cleavagesm.jpg Kathleen> (I sent him a high-res version)
Patrick> Hello Kathleen,
Patrick> Thanks for the picture! I think you'll be surprised with the results.
Patrick> Ciao! Patrick
Kathleen> Oh, Dear!
Kathleen> What have I gotten myself into?
Because slashdot crowd loves buying crap. They are just asking to be ridiculed some more. They want bad spelling and misleading reports. Why do you think they read slashdot in the first place.
Slashdot Mirror
Why should No Such Agencies fucking care about receiving spam? You would probably be the one getting busted for collecting their addresses with unlegitimate intents.
Everybody loves statistics!
According to that Thingy Coalition, 99% of suckers agree with this thing.
On the other hand, that Anti-Thingy Association report 99% of morons desagree with this thing.
You fist your own ass? Confess! Confess!
You are wrong stupid fuck. I will sodomize you in your sleep.
The chicken walk have been done to death you motherfuckers!
Yah I'm drunk *burp*
Only if you share the boobies with the rest of us. Otherwise you will be subject to a rectal probe, sir.
You are under arrest for exceding the 20 seconds limit. Both hands on top of your monitor.
Mind if I drop my semen all over your bottock?
God damn motherhooker! That's $102,360.00 for a fucking digital camera! Only to end up on cheap VHS tape at video rental clubs a year later. So much for quality equipment.
*prrrr* *prrr*
Laden or unladen?
Special props to Bubba. Every good boy deserve a cell mate.
Patrick> Hello,
;o)
;o)
Patrick> I was wondering if you could direct me to a copy of the JPEG that was
Patrick> once at sarcasta.net of you displaying your bountiful bosom. I need
Patrick> it for a novella I am writing for Slashdot. Thanks in advance.
Patrick> Ciao!
Patrick> Patrick Bateman, Esq.
Kathleen> MY REPLY: You have *got* to be kidding!
Patrick> Hello Kathleen,
Patrick> I must admit that I thought the chance you would honor my request was
Patrick> slim, but I'd like to assure you that the image will undergo only
Patrick> minimal modification, and that all nudity will be tasteful and
Patrick> integral to the plot.
Patrick> Sincerely Yours, Patrick
Kathleen> Um.... maybe you should explain why my "nudity" will be integral to
Kathleen> the plot of this er, "novel" you claim to be writing.
Patrick> Hello again,
Patrick> Just to clarify, I never said "your" nudity will be integral to the
Patrick> plot, I said "all" nudity, which does not necessarily include you.
Patrick> The only well-formed chapter I have that features nudity is a visit
Patrick> by Open Source advocate and communist agitprop activist Richard
Patrick> Stallmann to a clothing-optional abattoir in rural England (where he
Patrick> contracts a nasty case of Foot-and-Mouth disease). I reserve the
Patrick> right to incorporate nudity in other chapters, but I haven't yet.
Patrick> Anywho, without giving away too much of the plot, the novella will
Patrick> contain characters from the Slashdot universe. This includes real
Patrick> people like CmdrTaco, Hemos, JonKatz, spiralx, Sarcasta, etc., as
Patrick> well as their meatspace avatars: "Rob Malda", "Jeff Bates", "Jeffrey
Patrick> Dahmer", "Tony Blair", "Kathleen Fent", etc. Props like the Slashdot
Patrick> Cruiser, Geek Compound, hot grits, and VA Linux stock certificates
Patrick> will also figure prominently.
Patrick> Sincerely Yours, Patrick
Kathleen> Hmmmmm... so why do you need a *picture* if this is a novel?
Kathleen> I am intrigued.
Patrick> For the cover, of course.
Patrick> - Patrick
Kathleen> You're a smooth talker. Bet you're a big hit with the ladies! But
Kathleen> how do I know it's not going to end up with buck teeth and horns
Kathleen> drawn in... or worse yet...
Kathleen> NIPPLES!
Kathleen> *gasp*
Patrick> Well, I'm not sure what to say to convince you that I won't do such a
Patrick> thing (teeth-horns-nipples), but my plan was to add a costume to the
Patrick> picture for the character of Sarcasta.
Patrick> Otherwise the cover will have to be of Stallman and a goat, and there
Patrick> *will* be nipples, teeth, and horns in that one. The purpose of this
Patrick> exercise is satire, not malice, so... no sarcastic nipples.
Patrick> Sincerely, Patrick
Kathleen> OK... I'm sold.
Kathleen> This is too funny. Can't pass it up. Here ya go.
Kathleen> http://www.fent.net/graphics/cleavagesm.jpg
Kathleen> (I sent him a high-res version)
Patrick> Hello Kathleen,
Patrick> Thanks for the picture! I think you'll be surprised with the results.
Patrick> Ciao! Patrick
Kathleen> Oh, Dear!
Kathleen> What have I gotten myself into?
My johnson is standing solid. Now there's something you can hang your hat on.
Because slashdot crowd loves buying crap. They are just asking to be ridiculed some more. They want bad spelling and misleading reports. Why do you think they read slashdot in the first place.
Now Cliff want you to burn as many CDs as possible. Can't you see the correlation?
Please stop flirting with my grandma. Unless your are necrophile of course.
Click harder. Punch the mouse. Or scream at the monitor, especially if there is people around.
Amazing news report! Slashdot will most probably hire you.
Your comment has too few words per line (currently 5.84615384615385)
Read the rest of this comment...
Hey stupid. Please die.
Lets play with numbers a bit...
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100 percent.
How about achieving 103 percent?
Here's a little math that might prove helpful in the future.
What makes life 100 percent?
If,
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
can be represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 2122 23 24 25 26
Then,
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% only
K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% only
But,
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %
And,
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you
close, but attitude and bullshit will put you over the top.
Timmeh couldn't interview his brain out of a paper bag.
Congrats! You beat me to it.
This thing is a first post magnet.