> 'If you have the right kind of job, you can take vacations while you're on the clock. [... ] Nobody knew I was sunburned, drinking from a coconut and listening to howler monkeys as I replied to their e-mails.'"
If you really have the right kind of job, you can take vacations while you're on the clock without the hassle of air travel, without the pain of the sunburn, with a slightly-modified version of the coconut, and yes, even with the howler monkeys.
I call it "reading Slashdot while sitting in a meeting".
And now that we've got the question of "whose side am I on" out of the way...
> On the other side, Jim Louderback, an editor-in-chief of PCMag says that Lance doesn't know what he's talking about: with all the content available online for free, Viacom can kiss those investments goodbye.
On the gripping hand, all of Viacom's content is available online for free by means of high-resolution DiVX-encoded.AVIs by means of.torrents anyways, and Viacom's "investment" isn't worth the share certificates it's printed on.
From an investment perspective, it's more profitable to monetize some of that in the form of ad revenues for the privilege of downloading crappy-resolution.flv videos through YouTube than to monetize none of it at all.
The DMCA is a throwback to the era when "getting web hosting" cost a relative fortune compared to "getting access to the Intertubes". As such, having one's ISP nuke one's self-hosted.mpg or.avi was a reasonable deterrent.
We now live in an age where P2P makes it impossible to "take down" content jointly hosted by dozens of.torrent seeders, and in an age where the number of YouTube users vastly outnumbers the number of copyright lawyers that even Viacom can bring to bear. Google is operating in good faith, and complying with the DMCA. But even their auto-DMCA-takedown-request-bot can't keep up with the fact that for every copy of a video found by a Viacom landshark, there'll be a dozen more fans to replace it. It's a giant game of whack-a-mole, and we all know how well that worked against spammers.
In the meantime, Viacom should be thankful that Joe Sixpack is willing to play whack-a-mole with its landsharks, using YouTube-hosted shitty.flv files as a playing field... rather than playing the same game with other filesharing mechanisms and.mpg and.avi files using codecs more open than Flash.
Oh, and just because I like the sound of it... "fuck Viacom".
>...but the biggest hurdle is convincing people not to connect to these shiny new networks until it's all in place, end-to-end. It seems like this would have to be physically secured while it is being put together.
Oh, that's simple. Don't put any pr0n, MP3z, movies, or warez on it until it goes live. Then, unleash the.torrents of hell.
The "When you pirate MP3s, you're downloading COMMUNISM!" poster dates back to 2000; it only took us seven years to go from wacky parody to grim reality.
> You have to understand what is important to people.
Hell, you have to understand what is important to the government. If the TVs went off, the people would either start rioting or thinking. The $1B handout to keep the TVs on is probably the best investment in political stability that tax dollars can buy.
Damn, beaten by one minute to the Max Headroom list.
Might as well finish the list of episodes. The second season has only two (out of eight) episodes that can still be safely considered fiction:
Episode 2.1 - Academy - The "zipping" (hijacking of satellite feeds) in this episode was inspired by the real-world Captain Midnight hack against HBO. More recently, Falun Gong types have done the same thing against Chinese TV stations.
Episode 2.2 - Deities - We've got fake TV evangelist hucksters hawking all sorts of crap (as we did in 1987), but only now do we have web pages as electronic gravestones. Probably only a matter of time before someone claims they can store your soul in a webpage.
Episode 2.3 - Grossberg's Return - "boost ratings by hacking people's TVs to watch a rival station while their owners sleep" sounds an awful lot like hiring a botnet to perform click fraud against online advertisers.
Episode 2.4 - Dream Thieves - OK, we don't have the tech to record dreams, and even fMRI isn't going to give us such technology within the immediate future, so that one's still in the "fiction" column. Finally!
Episode 2.5 - Whacketts - A "video narcotic" causing people to keep their TVs on 24/7... well... that's what TV's for. True, but almost redundant.
Episode 2.6 - Neurostim - "Zik-Zak introduces Neurostim, a device to directly stimulate the brain and bypass the need to use television for advertising." - we're not at the point of stimulating the brain to desire product, but neuroscience is being used to analyze the effectiveness of advertising.
Episode 2.8 - Baby Grobags - is still fiction, since we can't grow humans outside a womb.
I skipped an episode, deliberately, because it's probably the most important one of the series.
Episode 2.7 - Lessons - "Network 23 censors go a step too far when they try to shut down a secret school in the fringes, because it's using pirated Network 23 instructional programming" could be ripped straight out of today's headlines. The episode is essentially a video version of RMS' famous essay "The Right To Read", except that Max Headroom predated Stallman's essay by eleven years.
Every year, another episode of Max Headroom comes true.
1.1: Blipverts - now we have ads designed to look OK at both regular speed, and at DVR-fast-forward "2 seconds" speeds.
1.2: Rakers - what's the difference between Raking and other "extreme sports" or "Wildest Police Videos"?
1.3: Body Banks - we now purchase organs harvested from Chinese prisoners
1.4: Security Systems - live, real-time monitoring of citizens, walled communities, etc.
1.5: War - both the Yugoslavian unpleasantness and Gulf War II appear to have been engineered for purposes of getting good ratings
1.6: Blanks - anyone without papers is "blank", and subject to arbitrary arrest, detention, and disappearance.
> > In that case, maybe this next round of evidence will have to be not only beyond anything we know but also beyond anything we know how to know.
> >
I knew he was going to say that.
As long as we're quoting Rumsfeld, "You do high-energy physics with the particle accelerators you have. It's not the particle accelerator you might want or wish to be able to build at a later time."
By the time you're done with that, you will have either starved to death, or despite Congress' fucking up Daylight Saving Time, it will be sufficiently dark that you will have been eaten by a grue.
*** You have died ***
Your score is 2 out of a possible (+5, Funny)
From the blog: > By learning at what point in the install process some users decide to abandon, we can put more effort into the right places in the installation wizard. Remember our goal with the wizard is to give more information so customers will be better informed. We heard from customers that they wanted more information about what the software was and how it worked so we created the install wizard to provide that greater context. Knowing this kind of information about the install wizard installations is critical for us to continue to improve the customer experience of WGA. If we are not hitting that mark, we can use this method to improve.
By learning at what point in the install process some users decide to say "Fuck this, I didn't sign up for this!", we can put more effort into the right places in the installation wizard. Remember our goal with the wizard is to obfuscate and misdirect so customers will either not know how we're spying on them, or for those who figure it out, at least they won't be able to sue us over it. We heard from customers that they wanted to know what else were doing behind their backs so we created the install wizard to provide us with plausible deniability. Knowing this kind of information about the install wizard installations is critical for us to continue to propagate the viral meme of WGA and other notions, like software as a service, and ultimately the notion of an operating system as a subscription-based service, like we're doing with the Windows Vista self-destruct sequence. If we are not hitting that mark, we can use this method to slowly increase the amount of DRM we've crammed up your ass until you look like the Goatse Guy, and if we do it slowly enough, you'll not only pay us, you'll thank us for the privilege!.
> As long as we don't have to relive Hoth again, I'll be happy.
Leia: "Hoth. The one place in the galaxy where my metal bikini would make me look more dignified than this flimsy white dress."
Han: "Hey, Princess, if you can't stand the cold, get outa the fridge."
> So at this rate, 7.5 years from now, we'll be clean out of IP addresses; faster if the number of addresses used per year goes up.
Ted Stevens (R-Pork): As my colleagues from across the aisle are pointing out, we're facing Peak Internets. Clearly what we need is to open up drilling in IPNAR (Internet Protocol National Address Reserve) and start drilling in those unused/8s. We need more tubes!
Ted Kennedy (D-Ham): Sure, how about 34.0.0.0/8, Halliburton?
Dick Cheney (R-Oil): Suck it, Ted. Your union buddies in 19.0.0.0/8, Ford Motor Company, ain't long for this world anyways.
Senator BOFH (I-Maginary): Umm, dudes? I didn't know DEC was still around, let alone still owned (16.0.0.0/8), and do enough people still go to Interop (45.0.0.0/8) that it deserves a whole frickin'/8 to itself?
FCC: All of y'all, shaddap. The telcos paid us good money to put us in charge of this little exercise, so we'll take it from here. Everybody switches to IPv6 on our timetable. It shouldn't take us much longer than it took to phase out analog TV.
> Which do we really need here in the US? Do we really want highly skilled immigrants to fill highly skilled jobs, or do we want cheap labor that will do the jobs no one else wants to do? Are kids who grew up here complaining about losing construction/landscaping and migrant farm jobs to immigration?
Which is what makes US immigration policy so infuriating.
Apu Packofsix wants to come over from Bangalore and write software. He can come as an H-1B, he can't change jobs while he's here, and his H-1B expires in three years. Then he can renew once, and he can stay for three more years, after which he has to go home. Since he's making between $50K-100K, his employer might like to keep him around, but his employer isn't in the business of breaking the law. So - he's only got six years here, he never puts down roots, and after six years of making $20K/year in taxes off him, he gets kicked out.
Jose Seispack, on the other hand, sneaks across the border in the dead of night. Makes $3/hour picking berries. Has an "anchor baby" at the earliest possible opportunity. Stays indefinitely, sneaking back across the border within a few months, should he be so unfortunate as to be caught and deported. Consumes about $10K/year in government services, indefinitely.
Joe Sixpack? Well, Apu was forced to go back home after his six years were up. So when Apu starts his consulting operation in Bangalore, guess what happens to Joe Sixpack's engineering career?
Thanks, Politicians. Thanks a fuck of a lot.
I'll grant that a population consisting of a lot of highly-educated engineers is lot harder to rule than a nation of xenophobic Joe Sixpacks and happy-to-get-$3/hour Jose Seispacks, but that's about the only win I see for the government: There's no other conceivable rationale (economically or in terms of tax revenue) behind the current system of discouraging a few hundred thousand highly-skilled workers from coming to America, while simultaneously encouraging millions of low-skilled workers to show up.
Maybe it's time for Atlas to shrug. If America doesn't want its high-tech immigrants, maybe they should take the hint and all go home, where they'll at least be allowed to be productive. And if America doesn't want its own high-tech citizens either, maybe we should take the hint and go where the action is.
The problem isn't just in the computer industry: does anyone seriously think the next generation of biotechnicians and gene-hackers is going to come from America's educational system? Anyone? Bueller?
> Even if you are not a comic book fan you probably enjoyed his defeat of the nazis and his relentless pursuit of freedom for all americans. Truly an American Icon. He will be missed.
So will America.
If Captain America is the embodiment of what it means to be American, let the record show that he didn't die because he failed us. He died because we, the Americans, failed him.
"...the truth is that the most common forms of radioactivity will make you radioactive only if the radioactive particles stick on you. Radioactivity is not contagious. If a person is exposed to the radioactive neutrons from a nuclear reactor, then he can become slightly radioactive, but he certainly won't glow."
True, most cases of "people being radioactive" are the result of contamination with radioactive substances. True, you won't glow (and if you ever do, you won't live long enough to worry about it). True, neutron activation is the only way to make you slightly radioactive without actually contaminating you with radioisotopes.
But in an article that otherwise does a good job in debunking Hollywood misperceptions that lead to scientific illiteracy, I'm not gonna "radioactive neutrons" slide. What he meant is not what he wrote. (But in the blogger's defense, I've seen "highly-charged neutrons" in print, so it could have been worse:-)
> Would this constitute "Transparent Aluminum?
> >typed on "Keyboard, how quaint"
Naw, that ship was at least visible. How about something like that ship over there. I mean that... is really bad for the eyes... I mean you can hardly make out its shape... light just seems to fall into it!
And the UI... I mean, it's the wild color scheme that freaks me. Every time you try to operate on of these weird black controls that are labelled in black on a black background, a little black light lights up black to let you know you've done it. And then it crashes into the sun! What kind of UI is this, Windows Aero?
> > Information Week is running the first in a weeklong series of roundtables where a programmer, networking consultant, and 3 IT managers have a serious technical debate on the pros and cons of Vista.
> >
Anyone with a job title like that is sure to be a Master Debater.
...for values of "have a serious technical debate" approaching "walk into a bar".
> > 'Spatial memory' is how you orient yourself in space and remember how to get to places in the outside world. Researchers have found that depressed people performed poorly
Thanks to time travel, am now 37 times older than the Universe itself. Thanks to having a brain the size of the planet, I remember every place I've been in space. Spatial awareness hasn't helped me one bit.
Would you like to hear about how long I spent in the car park at Milliway's? (The first ten million years were the worst, and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.)
Then there was the million and a half years I spent with a bad leg, walking around in circles in a swamp, just to prove the point. Before you lot got in the way, I was about to spend another million years before trying to walk backwards. You know, for the variety.
> That's because in space, nobody can hear you scream.
What would be the point in screaming? Space is miserable enough without having to remember being there.
Now would someone please hold my head up. If God took the time out to write his Final Message To His Creation, I may as well read it.
> That would mean that we can just leave them anywhere, right? > >
We already pay for removal when it works.... Well, I'll just open my truckbed with all these computer junk parts and gun it. Thats what road crews are for, right?
Naw. Y'see, the last time someone figured he'd rather than make two little piles of garbage...
> "We're running out of time," Ted Cohen, managing director of music consulting firm TAG Strategic, told the roughly 200 attendees. "We need to get money flowing from consumers and get them used to paying for music again."
Cohen then proceeded to shackle his brother to a chair and ordered a subordinate to inject 8 units of pain serum, all the while screaming "WE DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. JUST TELL US WHERE THE MONEY IS."
Slashdot Mirror
If you really have the right kind of job, you can take vacations while you're on the clock without the hassle of air travel, without the pain of the sunburn, with a slightly-modified version of the coconut, and yes, even with the howler monkeys.
I call it "reading Slashdot while sitting in a meeting".
Welcome to the web, Mr. Cheney!
> On the other side, Jim Louderback, an editor-in-chief of PCMag says that Lance doesn't know what he's talking about: with all the content available online for free, Viacom can kiss those investments goodbye.
On the gripping hand, all of Viacom's content is available online for free by means of high-resolution DiVX-encoded .AVIs by means of .torrents anyways, and Viacom's "investment" isn't worth the share certificates it's printed on.
From an investment perspective, it's more profitable to monetize some of that in the form of ad revenues for the privilege of downloading crappy-resolution .flv videos through YouTube than to monetize none of it at all.
The DMCA is a throwback to the era when "getting web hosting" cost a relative fortune compared to "getting access to the Intertubes". As such, having one's ISP nuke one's self-hosted .mpg or .avi was a reasonable deterrent.
We now live in an age where P2P makes it impossible to "take down" content jointly hosted by dozens of .torrent seeders, and in an age where the number of YouTube users vastly outnumbers the number of copyright lawyers that even Viacom can bring to bear. Google is operating in good faith, and complying with the DMCA. But even their auto-DMCA-takedown-request-bot can't keep up with the fact that for every copy of a video found by a Viacom landshark, there'll be a dozen more fans to replace it. It's a giant game of whack-a-mole, and we all know how well that worked against spammers.
In the meantime, Viacom should be thankful that Joe Sixpack is willing to play whack-a-mole with its landsharks, using YouTube-hosted shitty .flv files as a playing field... rather than playing the same game with other filesharing mechanisms and .mpg and .avi files using codecs more open than Flash.
Oh, and just because I like the sound of it... "fuck Viacom".
Oh, that's simple. Don't put any pr0n, MP3z, movies, or warez on it until it goes live. Then, unleash the .torrents of hell.
Today: "Valve to support DX10 with Episode 2"
The Mysterious Future: "Microsoft to support DX10 on XP with the release of Duke Nukem Forever."
Nothing to see here... Brilliant!
The "When you pirate MP3s, you're downloading COMMUNISM!" poster dates back to 2000; it only took us seven years to go from wacky parody to grim reality.
Hell, you have to understand what is important to the government. If the TVs went off, the people would either start rioting or thinking. The $1B handout to keep the TVs on is probably the best investment in political stability that tax dollars can buy.
Might as well finish the list of episodes. The second season has only two (out of eight) episodes that can still be safely considered fiction:
Episode 2.1 - Academy - The "zipping" (hijacking of satellite feeds) in this episode was inspired by the real-world Captain Midnight hack against HBO. More recently, Falun Gong types have done the same thing against Chinese TV stations.
Episode 2.2 - Deities - We've got fake TV evangelist hucksters hawking all sorts of crap (as we did in 1987), but only now do we have web pages as electronic gravestones. Probably only a matter of time before someone claims they can store your soul in a webpage.
Episode 2.3 - Grossberg's Return - "boost ratings by hacking people's TVs to watch a rival station while their owners sleep" sounds an awful lot like hiring a botnet to perform click fraud against online advertisers.
Episode 2.4 - Dream Thieves - OK, we don't have the tech to record dreams, and even fMRI isn't going to give us such technology within the immediate future, so that one's still in the "fiction" column. Finally!
Episode 2.5 - Whacketts - A "video narcotic" causing people to keep their TVs on 24/7... well... that's what TV's for. True, but almost redundant.
Episode 2.6 - Neurostim - "Zik-Zak introduces Neurostim, a device to directly stimulate the brain and bypass the need to use television for advertising." - we're not at the point of stimulating the brain to desire product, but neuroscience is being used to analyze the effectiveness of advertising.
Episode 2.8 - Baby Grobags - is still fiction, since we can't grow humans outside a womb.
I skipped an episode, deliberately, because it's probably the most important one of the series.
Episode 2.7 - Lessons - "Network 23 censors go a step too far when they try to shut down a secret school in the fringes, because it's using pirated Network 23 instructional programming" could be ripped straight out of today's headlines. The episode is essentially a video version of RMS' famous essay "The Right To Read", except that Max Headroom predated Stallman's essay by eleven years.
Janie Crane: "Edison... an off switch!"
Metrocop: "She'll get years for that. Off switches are illegal!"
- from Max Headroom, Episode 1.6, Blanks
Every year, another episode of Max Headroom comes true.
1.1: Blipverts - now we have ads designed to look OK at both regular speed, and at DVR-fast-forward "2 seconds" speeds.
1.2: Rakers - what's the difference between Raking and other "extreme sports" or "Wildest Police Videos"?
1.3: Body Banks - we now purchase organs harvested from Chinese prisoners
1.4: Security Systems - live, real-time monitoring of citizens, walled communities, etc.
1.5: War - both the Yugoslavian unpleasantness and Gulf War II appear to have been engineered for purposes of getting good ratings
1.6: Blanks - anyone without papers is "blank", and subject to arbitrary arrest, detention, and disappearance.
Anyone want to take on the last 6-7 episodes?
>
> I knew he was going to say that.
As long as we're quoting Rumsfeld, "You do high-energy physics with the particle accelerators you have. It's not the particle accelerator you might want or wish to be able to build at a later time."
There's information about it in the internet. Use a "search engine" such as Google (www.google.com) and find out.
> TYPE ZORK INTO WWW.GOOGLE.COM
Google suggests that the original poster try the Zork Wikipedia Entry.
It is almost 5:00 pm in your office. You are feeling a mite peckish.
> TRY THE NEXT LINK
Google's second link points to the Infocom-IF page on the history of Interactive Fiction.
It is almost 5:30 pm in your office. You are hungry. Because Congress fucked up Daylight Saving Time, it is not yet dark.
> TRY THE THIRD LINK.
Google's third link points to a live PHP-based implementation Zork, cleverly disguised as a 404 page.
By the time you're done with that, you will have either starved to death, or despite Congress' fucking up Daylight Saving Time, it will be sufficiently dark that you will have been eaten by a grue.
*** You have died ***
Your score is 2 out of a possible (+5, Funny)
> By learning at what point in the install process some users decide to abandon, we can put more effort into the right places in the installation wizard. Remember our goal with the wizard is to give more information so customers will be better informed. We heard from customers that they wanted more information about what the software was and how it worked so we created the install wizard to provide that greater context. Knowing this kind of information about the install wizard installations is critical for us to continue to improve the customer experience of WGA. If we are not hitting that mark, we can use this method to improve.
By learning at what point in the install process some users decide to say "Fuck this, I didn't sign up for this!", we can put more effort into the right places in the installation wizard. Remember our goal with the wizard is to obfuscate and misdirect so customers will either not know how we're spying on them, or for those who figure it out, at least they won't be able to sue us over it. We heard from customers that they wanted to know what else were doing behind their backs so we created the install wizard to provide us with plausible deniability. Knowing this kind of information about the install wizard installations is critical for us to continue to propagate the viral meme of WGA and other notions, like software as a service, and ultimately the notion of an operating system as a subscription-based service, like we're doing with the Windows Vista self-destruct sequence. If we are not hitting that mark, we can use this method to slowly increase the amount of DRM we've crammed up your ass until you look like the Goatse Guy, and if we do it slowly enough, you'll not only pay us, you'll thank us for the privilege!.
Leia: "Hoth. The one place in the galaxy where my metal bikini would make me look more dignified than this flimsy white dress."
Han: "Hey, Princess, if you can't stand the cold, get outa the fridge."
Ted Stevens (R-Pork): As my colleagues from across the aisle are pointing out, we're facing Peak Internets. Clearly what we need is to open up drilling in IPNAR (Internet Protocol National Address Reserve) and start drilling in those unused /8s. We need more tubes!
Ted Kennedy (D-Ham): Sure, how about 34.0.0.0/8, Halliburton?
Dick Cheney (R-Oil): Suck it, Ted. Your union buddies in 19.0.0.0/8, Ford Motor Company, ain't long for this world anyways.
Senator BOFH (I-Maginary): Umm, dudes? I didn't know DEC was still around, let alone still owned (16.0.0.0/8), and do enough people still go to Interop (45.0.0.0/8) that it deserves a whole frickin' /8 to itself?
FCC: All of y'all, shaddap. The telcos paid us good money to put us in charge of this little exercise, so we'll take it from here. Everybody switches to IPv6 on our timetable. It shouldn't take us much longer than it took to phase out analog TV.
Which is what makes US immigration policy so infuriating.
Apu Packofsix wants to come over from Bangalore and write software. He can come as an H-1B, he can't change jobs while he's here, and his H-1B expires in three years. Then he can renew once, and he can stay for three more years, after which he has to go home. Since he's making between $50K-100K, his employer might like to keep him around, but his employer isn't in the business of breaking the law. So - he's only got six years here, he never puts down roots, and after six years of making $20K/year in taxes off him, he gets kicked out.
Jose Seispack, on the other hand, sneaks across the border in the dead of night. Makes $3/hour picking berries. Has an "anchor baby" at the earliest possible opportunity. Stays indefinitely, sneaking back across the border within a few months, should he be so unfortunate as to be caught and deported. Consumes about $10K/year in government services, indefinitely.
Joe Sixpack? Well, Apu was forced to go back home after his six years were up. So when Apu starts his consulting operation in Bangalore, guess what happens to Joe Sixpack's engineering career?
Thanks, Politicians. Thanks a fuck of a lot.
I'll grant that a population consisting of a lot of highly-educated engineers is lot harder to rule than a nation of xenophobic Joe Sixpacks and happy-to-get-$3/hour Jose Seispacks, but that's about the only win I see for the government: There's no other conceivable rationale (economically or in terms of tax revenue) behind the current system of discouraging a few hundred thousand highly-skilled workers from coming to America, while simultaneously encouraging millions of low-skilled workers to show up.
Maybe it's time for Atlas to shrug. If America doesn't want its high-tech immigrants, maybe they should take the hint and all go home, where they'll at least be allowed to be productive. And if America doesn't want its own high-tech citizens either, maybe we should take the hint and go where the action is.
The problem isn't just in the computer industry: does anyone seriously think the next generation of biotechnicians and gene-hackers is going to come from America's educational system? Anyone? Bueller?
So will America.
If Captain America is the embodiment of what it means to be American, let the record show that he didn't die because he failed us. He died because we, the Americans, failed him.
"...the truth is that the most common forms of radioactivity will make you radioactive only if the radioactive particles stick on you. Radioactivity is not contagious. If a person is exposed to the radioactive neutrons from a nuclear reactor, then he can become slightly radioactive, but he certainly won't glow."
True, most cases of "people being radioactive" are the result of contamination with radioactive substances. True, you won't glow (and if you ever do, you won't live long enough to worry about it). True, neutron activation is the only way to make you slightly radioactive without actually contaminating you with radioisotopes.
But in an article that otherwise does a good job in debunking Hollywood misperceptions that lead to scientific illiteracy, I'm not gonna "radioactive neutrons" slide. What he meant is not what he wrote. (But in the blogger's defense, I've seen "highly-charged neutrons" in print, so it could have been worse :-)
>
>typed on "Keyboard, how quaint"
Naw, that ship was at least visible. How about something like that ship over there. I mean that... is really bad for the eyes... I mean you can hardly make out its shape... light just seems to fall into it!
And the UI... I mean, it's the wild color scheme that freaks me. Every time you try to operate on of these weird black controls that are labelled in black on a black background, a little black light lights up black to let you know you've done it. And then it crashes into the sun! What kind of UI is this, Windows Aero?
>
> I think we all know where the valve is...
Oh, my God. It's Mega Maid. She's gone from suck to blow.
>
> Anyone with a job title like that is sure to be a Master Debater.
Thanks to time travel, am now 37 times older than the Universe itself. Thanks to having a brain the size of the planet, I remember every place I've been in space. Spatial awareness hasn't helped me one bit.
Would you like to hear about how long I spent in the car park at Milliway's? (The first ten million years were the worst, and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.)
Then there was the million and a half years I spent with a bad leg, walking around in circles in a swamp, just to prove the point. Before you lot got in the way, I was about to spend another million years before trying to walk backwards. You know, for the variety.
> That's because in space, nobody can hear you scream.
What would be the point in screaming? Space is miserable enough without having to remember being there.
Now would someone please hold my head up. If God took the time out to write his Final Message To His Creation, I may as well read it.
Serves 'em right for using 3-D real-time rendered CGI pr0n to get their laps doubly warm, rather than 2-D pr0n like God intended.
>
> We already pay for removal when it works.... Well, I'll just open my truckbed with all these computer junk parts and gun it. Thats what road crews are for, right?
Naw. Y'see, the last time someone figured he'd rather than make two little piles of garbage...
Sing it with me the next time it comes 'round on the guitar.
Cohen then proceeded to shackle his brother to a chair and ordered a subordinate to inject 8 units of pain serum, all the while screaming "WE DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. JUST TELL US WHERE THE MONEY IS."