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User: long_john_stewart_mi

long_john_stewart_mi's activity in the archive.

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  1. I can see it now ... on Driving from Alaska to Siberia · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... They're halfway across the 'bridge': Bill: "This bridge is pretty shaky, who was the engineer of this thing?" Ted (looks at travel guide): "God." Bill: "Oh, he's good. Well then it must be safe..." *Ice shifting in background* Good luck!

  2. Re:Stupid extensions on JPEG2000 Coming Soon · · Score: 1
    Why .jp2??? Why not .jpeg2. This legacy DOS naming convention drives me nuts. Not even Windows is crappy enough to still require 8.3 filenames. I still cringe when I see default.htm. It's a frickin' html file, name it properly.
    Why not make it .jpeg2000 then, since that's the real name? I would really enjoy making web sites with an extension longer than many file names... =(
  3. It's gotta be... on Do Programming Languages Affect Your Sexual Performance? · · Score: 1

    ... the cross-platform compatibility. Java lets you do it anywhere. =)

  4. The Bird on Point, Shoot and Translate into English · · Score: 1

    So if somebody flips you the bird, take a picture and find out what he was really saying!

  5. The Title is... on 'Indiana Jones 4' Finally A Go · · Score: 1

    Indiana Jones and Quest for the Blue Pill!

  6. Cher look-alike in Farscape! on Farscape Video Game · · Score: 1

    Forget licenses... I want it for the girl that looks like Cher!

  7. Redefining 'Dumb Terminal' on AOL in Negotiations to Buy Red Hat? · · Score: 5, Funny
    "... a rival operating system that works exclusively with the media giant's own Internet service provider, its Web browser or proprietary content."
    Now that's what I call a dumb terminal. =)
  8. Lets See... on Million Man LAN · · Score: 4, Funny
    I helped organize a LAN for 40 people and even that was hard - I can only imagine how difficult organizing a tournament with 5000 potential entrants would be. Also, what about the smell!? At our two-day LAN party, 5 people stank noticeably by the end of it, one really bad. Some quick math:
    5000 * (5/40) = 625 stinky people
    5000 * (1/40) = 125 really stinky people
    Well, that settles it... I'm not going. =)
  9. Microsoft's First Security-Focused Meeting on Microsoft to Focus on Security · · Score: 1

    Bill Gates: "Okay! We need to talk about security. The bad news is that this could take a while. The good news is that we get to have one big pizza and pop party!"

  10. Skinning this cat... on Powered Exoskeletons In The Near Future? · · Score: 1
    "Each of the labs has a different idea about skinning this cat," says Pin.
    My opinion is best expressed by Steve Kravitz: "If there is more than one way to skin a cat, I don't want to know about it."
  11. Re:Profitable Alternative (Fixed Formatting) on Microsoft's CLR - Providing a Break from HW Vendors? · · Score: 1
    My apologies... My previous post seemed to have all the HTML stripped from it... The post was supposed to look like this:
    If we surrender this control, though, we'll find ourselves with a monopoly operating system that makes it impossible freely to write code for. (And it's not hard to cut off Linux and every other rogue free OS at the knees. The day that every motherboard's BIOS uses strong crypto to demand the master boot record be signed with a secret key known only to Microsoft is the day that Linux becomes a thing of the past.)
    The thing I see that would prevent this 'absolute' control from happening has to do with profitable alternatives. If a company could make a profit from all the /. people who don't want Microsoft controlling everything and shutting down Linux, wouldn't they start developing a product for that group? I know I would - you would have no competition for those customers. A company would be able to establish a niche market for itself because of the number of people who desire something like this. Sure, Microsoft might control a majority of the systems, but I don't think they could ever achieve something like absolute control simply because the Microsoft solution isn't for everybody.
  12. Profitable Alternative on Microsoft's CLR - Providing a Break from HW Vendors? · · Score: 1

    If we surrender this control, though, we'll find ourselves with a monopoly operating system that makes it impossible freely to write code for. (And it's not hard to cut off Linux and every other rogue free OS at the knees. The day that every motherboard's BIOS uses strong crypto to demand the master boot record be signed with a secret key known only to Microsoft is the day that Linux becomes a thing of the past.) The thing I see that would prevent this 'absolute' control from happening has to do with profitable alternatives. If a company could make a profit from all the /. people who don't want Microsoft controlling everything and shutting down Linux, wouldn't they start developing a product for that group? I know I would - you would have no competition for those customers. A company would be able to establish a niche market for itself because of the number of people who desire something like this. Sure, Microsoft might control a majority of the systems, but I don't think they could ever achieve something like absolute control simply because the Microsoft solution isn't for everybody.

  13. New AOL Slogan on Michigan Creates Cybercourt · · Score: 3, Funny

    New AOL Slogan: "You've got jail!"

  14. Could have put my junk to good use! on Satire Wire's New Spam Poets Crowned · · Score: 2, Funny

    Awwwww.... With the amount of junk in my mailbox I could have written an epic that rivalled Beowulf!