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User: Ralph+Malph+Alpha

Ralph+Malph+Alpha's activity in the archive.

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Comments · 392

  1. Re:This is on Red Hat Network for the Masses · · Score: 0

    This is 49th post in this article. I claim it in the name of Donny Most.

    Most Post, propz to Happy Days.

  2. Re:How to NOT get ripped off on Ebay on Bad eBay Experience Spurs Internet Manhunt · · Score: 0

    Why stop there?

    • NEVER deal with another ebayer you haven't also met offline in person. in fact, ONLY buy from people you already know. ebay is great for this - selling to people you already know, and are comfy with. personally, i only deal with people i've slept with, since i know their "clean"
    • if a potential ebay bidder or seller asks you a question, do NOT reply from your own email address!! use a cheapo onetime hotmail address to reply to people who would snoop on you anonymously. i couldn't tell you the number of times i've been anally raped by buyers who found my home by tracking me down by learning my real email address and hunting me down using online tools.
    • if a seller has ANY negative feedback, call the FBI and accuse him of trading juvenile porno. it doesn't matter if you ever planned on buying his item, you are simply doing a SERVICE to SOCIETY, because that seller is EVIL.
    • if a seller lists an item and uses the letter "S" anywhere in the item description, do NOT bid. i have perfromed extensive studies and found that the letter "S" is used in over 70% of all fraudulent sales....it's evilspeak for "i Sincerely enjoy Screwing any Sucker who bidS on my unScrupulouS Shit auctionS".
    • if a seller only accepts payment in any reasonable form (money order, concealed cash, paypal), that seller is likely SATAN himself. 100% of all sellers that insist on reasonable payment are EVIL.
    • if a seller describes an item too much, too little, or at all, he is obviously trying to Scam you. he wants you to think that he is smart, or dumb, or reasonable. ALL of these things are signs of HORRIBLE EVIL. i mean, duh, this is self-evident, like the truths in our great declaration of independence. you want to be a patriot, don't you????
    • IF another ebayer has ever left a negative feedback for someone else, he is ONE EVIL MOFO, who is out to make you look like a fool. A DAMN FOOL. he will neg you like nobody's bizneSS, regardleSS of how smoothly the transaction goes.
    • as a seller, ALWAYS offer a low low low Buy It Now! price of 5 cents or less....anyway never accept more than the lowest price listed for your item on pricewatch, because it is your responsibility to accept as little money as possible for ebay sales......anything else is eVIL.
    • if a buyer falls ill and cannot pay you, assume that he intentionally forced an illness upon himself just to Screw with you. thank god you can easily find an ONLINE AERIAL PHOTO OF HIS HOME so that you can harass him like the chump HE thought YOU were!!! it is what this buttfucker deserves. same thing goes for if the bastard's kid died or something...HE SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD, just to avoid paying you. that SICKO should go to JAIL.
    • SEllers who start their auctions with $1 first bids are pros, so they are obviously out to cheat you. (pro what? PRO CRIMINALS, thatz what.) sellers who make the first bid something reasonable are greedy Fucking bastardS who should know better than to meSS with you and your godgiven right to defend your best interests with INTELLIGENT PARANOIA.
    • sellers with no feedbacks, or with too many suspicious positive feedbacks, or with any neutral or negative feedbacks, or with sunglasses, or who don't have id-verified checkmarks, or who don't have mugshots of themselves in there "me" page are obviously trying to deceive you. the seller features squaretrade? yes, but only because he knows that you are to cowardly to face him in a wordfight. how VAIN and evil!!
    • sellers who list items more often than once weekly or less often than twice weekly are EVIL. i am an expert who wrote the fucking BIBLE on ebay selling habits in the Common Era, and trust me, i have done my homefuckingwork. THESE STATS ARE INDISPUTABLE BY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE - MARILYN VOS SAVANT TRIED TO ARGUE WITH ME AND BY SPEAKING I FUCKING MADE HER SKULL EXPLODE WITH MY GENIUS REGARDING THESE TRYING MATTERS.
    • if a potential buyer has received 10 feedbacks, but has only left 9 feedbacks for others, take this as a sign that he Screwed that one seller. YOU COULD BE NEXT, so cancel his bid right afuckingway and call the police and get an aerial photo of his home and mail it to him in a bloodstained envelope.
    • sellers who can't test the equipment they are selling and state so in their listings....well, let's say that these folks are the lowest Scum on our mother EARTH, aka GAIA.
    • buyers that retract their bids........ohboy, these buttpunks make me angry. i usually sick the lawyers on these funboys....retract that, you disrespectful RETARD. Don't you know who i am?? you don't FUCK with RALPH MALPH ALPHA on EBAY. Go MASTURBATE to HOMOPORN and DIE from the FRICTION BLEEDING.


    In other words, you should enjoy your ebay experience and don't forget the ebay motto, " We believe people are basically good. "
  3. Re:Ebay abuse on Bad eBay Experience Spurs Internet Manhunt · · Score: 0

    You know, you could have gotten his phone number through eBay too.

  4. Re:I had to give it up. on Scientific American on Television Addiction · · Score: 0

    TV lets you hand out with hot chicks, go on a thrilling adventure, and fall in love.

    Damn, that sounds like one great TV show. Hey, I feel like handing it out to some hot chicks too, what channel is it on.

    No mom, don't come down here!!

  5. Re:Too Bad... on Physical ASCII Mosaic · · Score: 0

    Everybody wanna see me throw a fireball
    But that's not right, not in real life.

  6. first most on Physical ASCII Mosaic · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    most post

  7. Re:Autodot (#18253) on Coming Soon: Ultra Wide Band · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    fuck you, do you hear me, autodot? i wish to subscribe to your newsletter, but still, fuck you.

  8. UWB sounds like on Coming Soon: Ultra Wide Band · · Score: 0

    the ultimate technology. I love it!

  9. Lindows credibility. on Lindows Reviewed · · Score: 0

    Lindows credibility.

  10. Re:The free market at work on Intel's Answer to AMD's Hammer - Yamhill · · Score: 0

    Who keeps moderating you up, lad? Oh, the OTHER miscrosoft employees? well, that's very nice isn't it?

  11. Re:Of course he could! on A Beautiful Mind · · Score: 0

    yeah, if you look like Russel Crowe.

    If i tried the linez he did in the movie, i'd be talking to the police right now.

  12. Re:The history of John Nash on A Beautiful Mind · · Score: 0

    very good point. you're repeating it right now, aren't you.

  13. Re:Contrast Between Mundie and Schneir/Shostack on Security Community Reacts to Microsoft Announcement · · Score: 0

    Funny, if we take the conclusion of your analysis (that user-transparent security is the root ;) of all evil, while infinite configurability & user involvement enforcez security) and apply it to apple's oses and some linux distributionz like redhat, it seems that the opposite is true. redhat in all its configgable glory, like windowz, can be rooted out of the box. securing against such vulnerabilities is relatively difficult for the average joe user. Not so with macs, running mac os x or not.

    Thinking that you can enforce a minimum iq requirement to use a computer safely is extreme idealism. and letz be realistic, theirs a point when it becomes counterproductive to choose security over transparency to the user (ease of use) and performance. pefrom

    One reason everybody hates microsoft from a user standpoint is the fact that their software is quite complex, but their defaults pander to the lowest common denominator who care about features more than security (meaning, the people who should be using macs but aren't). Thatz' not intended as a dig at mac users, but you gotta admit, itz much safer to sit a moron down in front of a mac than to leave him vulnerable on windows or confused out of his wits on a non-customized linux box. i am sitting in front of a mac right now, and it feelz great. itz a secure computar!!!

  14. Spider silk has some amazing properties on Slashback: Games, Goats, Galileo · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Just ask Peter Parker.

  15. When I was a kid (Apple II Plus) on CompactFlash / IDE Interface for Apple II · · Score: 1

    We used to have a saying in my family about our Apple II Plus. It was something along the lines of "Apple? Or Japple?"

    I would always say Japple just to piss my father off. He sure was crazy.

  16. Theirs something that people always seem to forget on Should Aunt Tillie Build Her Own Kernels? · · Score: 1

    If I am not a kernel man, then not will I a kernel can.

    Linus is a kernel man, so yes does he a kernel can.

  17. Whatz with all this overclocking nowadays? on P4 2.2GHz Overclocked to 3.5GHz · · Score: 1

    I mean, I like my computer, its fast, its great. In my country, fast computers are good to have. But think about this for some momentz. For every fast computer, there's also a slow computer. That slow computer is no good. You wait for things to happen, they happen, or maybe they dont happen. When things dont happen, do you cry? No you dont cry, you overclock your computer so that something happens. And when it happens, it feelz great.

    But if you dont overclock you computer, and something doesnt happen, you really feel like a loser. So when you overclock it, you feel like a winner. and thats how i answered my own question.