I still don't understand WHY people won't shoot their nuclear wast into space. Just head it into the sun -the biggest nuclear plant of the solar system. We'd need to send one rocket each 25 years to fuel the entire planet!
Human Resources Representative: Good afternoon, Stuart.
Stuart: Hi.
HR: As you may have heard, we have been conducting interviews with certain personnel lately. In the current economic climate, our company is looking to reduce costs wherever possible. This may also, unfortunately, include "right-sizing" in certain departments head counts. In order to be absolutely fair, we are giving the persons whose positions are being considered for right-sizing the opportunity to justify their current positions worth. Do you understand?
Stuart: You're going to fire me?
HR:No, Stuart. "Right-sizing" is not about firing people. Based on your answers to a few questions, your departments head count will be evaluated. This may include shifting of positions and responsibilities, adjustments to salaries, and in some cases individuals may be released from employment. Does this help you understand?
Stuart: I guess so...
HR: Alright, lets begin. According to our files, your present position is Unix Systems Administrator, is that correct?
Stuart: Uhh, yeah.
HR: And what responsibilities, in your view, does your position entail?
Stuart: I administer to the Unix systems, which includes 4 GNU/Linux Samba servers, 8 load-balanced GNU/Linux Apache web servers, and a FreeBSD firewall... Hey, if you're looking to fi.. err, "right-size" somebody, why don't you look at the two NT admin guys? After all, they have much less experience than me; they're just a bunch of paper MCSEs, which just means you memorized a bunch of stuff and passed a test. They don't have any real admin experience, like with a GNU/Linux system.
HR: We'll get to that in just a moment. In what ways would you say your expertise is vital to the continued operation of these servers?
Stuart: Well, I know just about everything there is to know about GNU/Linux and the associated operating system utilities.
HR: Mmmhmmm. In this email from the director of IS, he tells me that the company is considering the elimination of Linux from the environment in order to lower our TCO -- total cost of operation, I think? No, total cost of ownership. He says we are considering replacing these servers with Windows 2000 Advanced Server, running IIS 5. What do you think about this?
Stuart: That's a stupid idea. Winbl... err, Windows is extremely difficult to administer. You have to keep up with new security patches coming out every 2 hours, and on top of all that you have to deal with the Blue Screen of Death every day, and Microsoft charges you like 500 bucks every time you call them.
HR: So Windows is much harder to administer than Linux?
Stuart: That's right. As a matter of fact, if you just got rid of the Microsl... err, Microsoft boxen, you could replace them with GNU/Linux and save some money on the licenses right there.
HR: Explain this to me. If Windows is so difficult to administer, why are the NT administrators able to support twice as many servers, given their limited "real world" experience, and the fact that they are only "paper MCSEs"?
Stuart: Err, they're probably just not doing their job. After all, my FreeBSD box has a 279 day uptime. Their Microsh... err, Microsoft boxen are up and down every week because of security patches.
HR: Yes, the FreeBSD firewall is an interesting topic. We had an outside security consultant come in, and he found that the FreeBSD firewall had not been patched for a vulnerability in a program called "Open SSH". The NT servers were up-to-date on patches, and properly secured. In addition, a large proportion of helpdesk tickets are called in because of issues with the Samba file servers. How do you respond to this?
Stuart: What? Gaah, the OpenSSH exploit was only a local root exploit!! There's no reason to take down a server with almost 300 days uptime to patch it!! And those people just have problems because they are running Windows 2000 on their PCs!! Microsoft deliberately changed the SMB standard to cripple open source competitors!! If the users weren't so obsessed with using their Outlook calendars and their Powerpoint presentations, they could just use Mandrake or something with StarOffice, and everything would be fine!!
HR: There's no reason to get excited, Stuart. These are just questions we have to ask. Now, given that you say Linux is far easier to administer than Windows, is there any reason to believe that if we bring on another NT administrator, he or she would be unable to support the Linux and BSD systems until they get migrated to Windows 2000?
Stuart: No... err, YES. It is easier, but... they just wouldn't understand!! There is a lot you have to know!! It's not just all point and click and all that kiddie stuff!!! It's really hard, you have to be able to compile kernels and edit conf files!! They couldn't do what I do!!!
HR: OK, Stuart, I can understand your anxiety. We'll move away from that subject. Now, is there any possibility that you see for us to use your skills in another position? For instance, would you be interested in earning your MCSE to become a junior administrator when we roll out the new Windows 2000 servers?
Stuart: NO!! I DON'T USE THAT MICROTRASH!! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M INTERESTED IN GETTING A BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH EVERY 2 SECONDS AND SPENDING THE REST OF THE TIME LISTENING TO STUPID USERS ASKING IDIOT QUESTIONS. OPEN SOURCE DOES EVERYTHING I NEED IT TO.
HR: Well, that tells us just about everything we need to know. Stuart, your input is of course appreciated, and we will be taking all your comments under advisement. Your department head will be contacting you soon to let you know about any change in your employment status. Thank you for your time.
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in
Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be
seen with you.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving
nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a
monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the
effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate,
blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts
who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you.
You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I vomit at the very thought of you. You
have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less
than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention
you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us
with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to
readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into
your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering
the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on
the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and
profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down
on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved
for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of
unknowing, inexperienced opinion have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you
would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a
leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You
are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void.
You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed
drooling meatslapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all
that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy.
You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread
misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious
and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about
you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we
know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid.
Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed.
Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot
mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire
galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid.
Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid.
Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some
pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws
of physics that we know.
* It comes from Microsoft * It allows 'unsafe' constructions with pointers etc. * when the.net runtime is ported 100% (see go-mono.com) it will be *truly* cross platform. * If you don't like the syntax of a certain module, you can rewrite it in your favorite language (C++, Basic) and still use the compiled code!!!
hehe.. let's keep the baby (source) but throw the bathwater away(Java)...:)
Wow, you actually got +1 for that comment. Let me dissect it.
I tried Mozilla quite a few times on both windows and Unix/Linux. I increasingly began to hate it; it crashes even if you sneeze at the wrong moment.
Also, the fact that all Netscape family browsers somehow need to reload a page if you resize the frame is very irritating. And now it has been bought by AOL/TW. Wow, these are good guys! These are the people that want to TAKE OVER the software monopoly with dirty tricks and a lot of money, instead of building it themselves. (like MS)
If the minesweeper shows up on your machine, that means that you're not properly securing the machine. Microsoft has provided the public with numerous updates to fix security issues that were unforeseen at design time, like any other OS has as well. Do you know which version of which browser you are running? Are you more sure that these are secure?
Linux *will* become the next Apple. The circle must be completed.
According to the latest Gartner group research report, the Linux hype is finally over. Research shows that market share of Linux-driven production servers on the internet has finally declined to a single-digit number. The reasons for this are clear:
it usually takes a whole support team to install a geeks' workstation
* Bandwidth
Installation and maintenance requires 4-5 times the bandwidth a 'normal' OS would require
* Integration and connectivity
Linux was deliberately made completely incompatible and inoperatible with turnkey solutions like MS Exchange or MS SQL server. Investments in these products are therefore voided the minute you start rolling out Linux.
* Complexity
Applications developed in Perl or C, the languages of the linux community have proven to be slow,
unreliable, insecure and headaching complicated. Once developed and debugged, nobody is able to understand the code.
Therefore, it has been statistically proven that most companies have already moved away from Linux. This can be concluded from the following signs:
All the 'geeks' wearing tux t-shirts are actually MIS support guys who are still studying for their MCSE exam.
'The screaming fast Linux machines at work' are actually refurbished workstations at a separated network segment, not allowed on the production network since every Linux (l)user seems to neednmap [insecure.org] to perform normal work-related computer operations.
All the 'cool' Apache web servers are actually IIS machines with forged host headers. (yes, you can do that in IIS without recompiling anything. Heck, I lived for years without a C compiler and still do. )
For the rare instance where a free UNIX is actually used in a production environment, management has smartened up and BSD is usually installed.
Oh come on, are you new here? This exploit doesn't even work. Try it! McAfee denies the file. IE doesn't open it. When pressing Back I get a weird URL in the location box but no minesweeper.
Get a life, you nerds. Go with AOL if you like the sluggish Mozilla that much, I won't care less.
DO you know that according to Google linux users are less than one percent of the internet community. And these are the people that say 'the internet runs on unix'
Doesnt work here either. McAfee filters it (refuses to name a file.html when containing the code; it will rename it to.vir) and opening it in IE does nothing. What a load of ant ms crap. "Yeah another ie security hole. Download mozilla! BTW sign up at AOL while youre there anyway" --slashnazi's
Ok. I wear sunglasses on Times Square. This distorts the image of the billboards. Preferably, I will mask some areas so that the ads cannot be seen. According to the owners of that billboard,
"Sherwood has not authorized defendants or anyone to distort the appearance of the area". That means they can sue me for wearing sunglasses. See how ridiculous this is??
Yeah right, Apple is open source. (Not) Why don't you just design a theme for some application that resembles the Aqua look, then post it on the net. Let's see how fond you are of Apple after that! -or: try to manage a large Apple network with a few unix & windows servers. You'll be screaming in agony, my friend.
Slashdot Mirror
I still don't understand WHY people won't shoot their nuclear wast into space. Just head it into the sun -the biggest nuclear plant of the solar system. We'd need to send one rocket each 25 years to fuel the entire planet!
Building a beowulf clusters of these two books
Here's my photo of Open Source :P
Google cache link needed!! Should be Here
Human Resources Representative: Good afternoon, Stuart.
Stuart: Hi.
HR: As you may have heard, we have been conducting interviews with certain personnel lately. In the current economic climate, our company is looking to reduce costs wherever possible. This may also, unfortunately, include "right-sizing" in certain departments head counts. In order to be absolutely fair, we are giving the persons whose positions are being considered for right-sizing the opportunity to justify their current positions worth. Do you understand?
Stuart: You're going to fire me?
HR:No, Stuart. "Right-sizing" is not about firing people. Based on your answers to a few questions, your departments head count will be evaluated. This may include shifting of positions and responsibilities, adjustments to salaries, and in some cases individuals may be released from employment. Does this help you understand?
Stuart: I guess so...
HR: Alright, lets begin. According to our files, your present position is Unix Systems Administrator, is that correct?
Stuart: Uhh, yeah.
HR: And what responsibilities, in your view, does your position entail?
Stuart: I administer to the Unix systems, which includes 4 GNU/Linux Samba servers, 8 load-balanced GNU/Linux Apache web servers, and a FreeBSD firewall... Hey, if you're looking to fi.. err, "right-size" somebody, why don't you look at the two NT admin guys? After all, they have much less experience than me; they're just a bunch of paper MCSEs, which just means you memorized a bunch of stuff and passed a test. They don't have any real admin experience, like with a GNU/Linux system.
HR: We'll get to that in just a moment. In what ways would you say your expertise is vital to the continued operation of these servers?
Stuart: Well, I know just about everything there is to know about GNU/Linux and the associated operating system utilities.
HR: Mmmhmmm. In this email from the director of IS, he tells me that the company is considering the elimination of Linux from the environment in order to lower our TCO -- total cost of operation, I think? No, total cost of ownership. He says we are considering replacing these servers with Windows 2000 Advanced Server, running IIS 5. What do you think about this?
Stuart: That's a stupid idea. Winbl... err, Windows is extremely difficult to administer. You have to keep up with new security patches coming out every 2 hours, and on top of all that you have to deal with the Blue Screen of Death every day, and Microsoft charges you like 500 bucks every time you call them.
HR: So Windows is much harder to administer than Linux?
Stuart: That's right. As a matter of fact, if you just got rid of the Microsl... err, Microsoft boxen, you could replace them with GNU/Linux and save some money on the licenses right there.
HR: Explain this to me. If Windows is so difficult to administer, why are the NT administrators able to support twice as many servers, given their limited "real world" experience, and the fact that they are only "paper MCSEs"?
Stuart: Err, they're probably just not doing their job. After all, my FreeBSD box has a 279 day uptime. Their Microsh... err, Microsoft boxen are up and down every week because of security patches.
HR: Yes, the FreeBSD firewall is an interesting topic. We had an outside security consultant come in, and he found that the FreeBSD firewall had not been patched for a vulnerability in a program called "Open SSH". The NT servers were up-to-date on patches, and properly secured. In addition, a large proportion of helpdesk tickets are called in because of issues with the Samba file servers. How do you respond to this?
Stuart: What? Gaah, the OpenSSH exploit was only a local root exploit!! There's no reason to take down a server with almost 300 days uptime to patch it!! And those people just have problems because they are running Windows 2000 on their PCs!! Microsoft deliberately changed the SMB standard to cripple open source competitors!! If the users weren't so obsessed with using their Outlook calendars and their Powerpoint presentations, they could just use Mandrake or something with StarOffice, and everything would be fine!!
HR: There's no reason to get excited, Stuart. These are just questions we have to ask. Now, given that you say Linux is far easier to administer than Windows, is there any reason to believe that if we bring on another NT administrator, he or she would be unable to support the Linux and BSD systems until they get migrated to Windows 2000?
Stuart: No... err, YES. It is easier, but... they just wouldn't understand!! There is a lot you have to know!! It's not just all point and click and all that kiddie stuff!!! It's really hard, you have to be able to compile kernels and edit conf files!! They couldn't do what I do!!!
HR: OK, Stuart, I can understand your anxiety. We'll move away from that subject. Now, is there any possibility that you see for us to use your skills in another position? For instance, would you be interested in earning your MCSE to become a junior administrator when we roll out the new Windows 2000 servers?
Stuart: NO!! I DON'T USE THAT MICROTRASH!! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M INTERESTED IN GETTING A BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH EVERY 2 SECONDS AND SPENDING THE REST OF THE TIME LISTENING TO STUPID USERS ASKING IDIOT QUESTIONS. OPEN SOURCE DOES EVERYTHING I NEED IT TO.
HR: Well, that tells us just about everything we need to know. Stuart, your input is of course appreciated, and we will be taking all your comments under advisement. Your department head will be contacting you soon to let you know about any change in your employment status. Thank you for your time.
Stuart: BYE.
Should be Here in the cache
But, luckily the great google has a cached version
I think you meant this image from the google cache (slashdotted already!)
You should check Here instead for the correct point of view.
A Google cached version of the image is cached here
That will make her popular
hehe... Just going for karma at -infinity and beyond... yes that is (negative) infinity.. please flame me for that.
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I vomit at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know.
Hm, try C#. It is better than Java because:
.net runtime is ported 100% (see go-mono.com) it will be *truly* cross platform.
... :)
* It comes from Microsoft
* It allows 'unsafe' constructions with pointers etc.
* when the
* If you don't like the syntax of a certain module, you can rewrite it in your favorite language (C++, Basic) and still use the compiled code!!!
hehe.. let's keep the baby (source) but throw the bathwater away(Java)
"This article was written especially for you, sponsored by the BSA."
Wow, you actually got +1 for that comment. Let me dissect it. I tried Mozilla quite a few times on both windows and Unix/Linux. I increasingly began to hate it; it crashes even if you sneeze at the wrong moment. Also, the fact that all Netscape family browsers somehow need to reload a page if you resize the frame is very irritating. And now it has been bought by AOL/TW. Wow, these are good guys! These are the people that want to TAKE OVER the software monopoly with dirty tricks and a lot of money, instead of building it themselves. (like MS) If the minesweeper shows up on your machine, that means that you're not properly securing the machine. Microsoft has provided the public with numerous updates to fix security issues that were unforeseen at design time, like any other OS has as well. Do you know which version of which browser you are running? Are you more sure that these are secure? Linux *will* become the next Apple. The circle must be completed.
According to the latest Gartner group research report, the Linux hype is finally over. Research shows that market share of Linux-driven production servers on the internet has finally declined to a single-digit number. The reasons for this are clear:
* Linux is unstable
* Linux has an unreliable filesystem
* Everybody uses Windows or BSD, nowadays
Research has clearly pointed out, that although there are still hordes of penguin-dressed geeks running around MIS departments, management has grown wise (or gone out of business) and doesn't even allow Linux workstations anymore, since the costs in maintaining these machines turned out to be astronomically high. The reasons for this are clear as well.
* Installation is a pain in the ass
* Bandwidth
* Integration and connectivity
* Complexity
Therefore, it has been statistically proven that most companies have already moved away from Linux. This can be concluded from the following signs:
should I use your links to learn how to translate german?
Oh come on, are you new here? This exploit doesn't even work. Try it! McAfee denies the file. IE doesn't open it. When pressing Back I get a weird URL in the location box but no minesweeper.
Get a life, you nerds. Go with AOL if you like the sluggish Mozilla that much, I won't care less.
DO you know that according to Google linux users are less than one percent of the internet community. And these are the people that say 'the internet runs on unix'
Doesnt work here either. McAfee filters it (refuses to name a file .html when containing the code; it will rename it to .vir) and opening it in IE does nothing. What a load of ant ms crap. "Yeah another ie security hole. Download mozilla! BTW sign up at AOL while youre there anyway" --slashnazi's
I agree. and this guy gets modded down to -1; the other who was pro-mozilla (but didn't make a better argument) got modded to +2 ... moderato-nazis
Ok. I wear sunglasses on Times Square. This distorts the image of the billboards. Preferably, I will mask some areas so that the ads cannot be seen. According to the owners of that billboard, "Sherwood has not authorized defendants or anyone to distort the appearance of the area". That means they can sue me for wearing sunglasses. See how ridiculous this is??
Damn!! I wanted to submit that comment!!
The question is: is this inspired by Asimovs' excellent work or is it a completely new approach???
Do not beware of the Mule. Beware of Daneel R. Olivaw and his friend Giskard R. Relentlov..... They are much more dangerous....
Yeah right, Apple is open source. (Not) Why don't you just design a theme for some application that resembles the Aqua look, then post it on the net. Let's see how fond you are of Apple after that! -or: try to manage a large Apple network with a few unix & windows servers. You'll be screaming in agony, my friend.
Next time, log on so we can see which troll to mod down ;)