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Subversive Gifts for New College Students?
openyourmind asks: "A friend's daughter is going to college, and I want to send her a package to help her in school. What kinds of things did you wish you had, but couldn't get, in college? I have already included a lockpick set, a UVmarking pen, and an LED flashlight in her care package. What else? Legal items only, please."
One of those micro-sized Pen-cams or something along those lines. Just perfect for breaking into the professors offices and snapping shots of tests.
My own pointless vanity vintage computing page
Definitely.
And a fake ID. Nuff said.
You can always give her a can of Mace and a stun gun, depending on which college she is going to of course.
Do you Gentoo!?
It's classified as a "burglar tool", IIRC
A REALLY big bag of weed! That's always a treat.
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AFAIK they are illegal.
but, as always, IANAL
Lots and lots and lots of cash.
Some of the most interesting items I've found have been on and around college campuses. Ask her to send YOU some stuff, once she gets settled in there.
- Bill
That takes all the fun out of it!
Seriously, if you are looking to get her something that she can't afford on her own, may I suggest a pda? I sure wish I had one, esp to remind me of my projects and homework due.
SCO to Hell
money is good.
actually, anything other than RAMEN is good too..
...a card with emergency numbers to call when you get into trouble south of the border. Which, of course, you will. Remember to stay away from the donkeys.
A case of those wrist bands they let you wear to show you're over 21 to drink at the bar. Every color and striping.
I've hit Karma 50 and gotten a Score:5, Troll... I win!
What state are you/they in where lock picks are legal? In most states (certainly in mine) they qualify as burglary tools and unless you can demonstrate a need (ie. being a locksmith) just possesion is a crime.
Well, so they're available virtually everywhere anyway in college, but STDs are still rampant on many college campuses. Even if you foolishly believe she'll stay celibate, it's better for her to have 'em on-hand and give 'em away than to not have 'em around if something, er, pops up.
Back in college I always wanted a girlfriend. since you're talking about a girl that probably doesn't apply, but anyway.
Science may someday discover what faith has always known.
I hope you gave her a set of normal picks. Those ones that you get spam for won't work. Oh... instructions would be good
Also, I found the best thing I had was a TV tuner. That way I could watch the cable provided by dorms and places, but not have to move a TV. I could also watch TV and chat and stuff. It was really nice.
I've also heard it's great to have a really good, thick dictionary, butI've just used dictionary.com. (it's not perfect, but it gets the job done)
a small pair of sidecutters will always be useful
You can't go wrong with Demotivators in calendar or poster form. Heck, every one even lists 'disaffected students' as an ideal target audience!
Okay, so they're not illegal, but they'll give your bright-eyed student a glimpse at the future of things to come after they start actively using your other gifts...
... is that my Father had better choice in his friends, so that I would not be the target of this attempt at being turned into a Dark Angel ripoff by someone old enough to know better than to use younger folks for their vicarious thrills.
As a student currenty in his third year of college, I have one suggestion....
MONEY!!!!
my other penis is a vagina
A bong, a case of Pabst, and a bus pass.
I know it's cliched, but I would've liked to have had one of those handheld tape recorders for lectures. I had no problems listening in high school, but college somehow weakend that ability in me. Being able to take notes after class is a good thing.
oh wait...you said you wanted legal items only...
Sean D.
"Hmm. I am to metaphor cheese as metaphor cheese is to transitive verb crackers!"
I wish I had a laptop with Internet connectivity, so I could keep up to date on all the /. happenings!
Attention all planets of the Solar Federation! We have assumed control! - Neil Peart
A bunch of HP printer cartridges. Those damn things were exPENsive! I couldn't afford them as a student.
WWJD? JWRTFA!
mac and cheese... lots of it... 3 years worth is usually good... and gone within the first few months...
Condoms.
*lameness filter*
*dont read this*
If you can't see the value in jet powered ants you should turn in your nerd card. - Dunbal (464142)
What are you planning on your friend's daughter doing, anyway? The included LED light sounds like you're hoping for a career in burglery. What in the world would you be doing with these at college? I went through 4 years of undergrad and 5 more years to get my PhD in CS, but I never found myself having to break into other people's property.
Besides, the gun nuts (no offense intended) at this site will tell you that one of the best ways to get shot and killed is to break and enter on an armed person's premesis.
"I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots." - George Bush
Better check the laws of the state she's in. In some states, mere possession of burglary tools is a crime, in others it's only a crime to possess them if you're caught trespassing.
IIRC in Washington DC it's neither illegal to possess lock picks or to use them. Keeps the government agents and congressional aides out of jail I guess.
If I would have had that, I would have had more money and better parties.
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
How about the Cliffnotes CD-ROM with all the Cliffnote titles?
There's no "I" in Linux.. err..
Cash. The best gift ever. It's all I really wanted when I went. I'm giving my half sister cash for her going away to college gift. I sure as hell ain't gonna give her condoms.
--- Think of it as evolution in action ---
a paint ball gun so you can be like Anthony Edwards in the movie Gotcha!
Course be sure to turn down the pressure on that thing else you might poke somebody's eye out!
Why is it not surprising nobody has mentioned this yet?
Flat out porno.
Laid
To make a pun demonstrates the highest understanding of a language
They won't let you bring in alcohol without signing it in for the record. Make your own!!! Nobody is the wiser...
Sean D.
"Hmm. I am to metaphor cheese as metaphor cheese is to transitive verb crackers!"
Other great ideas would be a Sharp Zaurus SL-5500 with an 802.11b card and the kismet wireless sniffing software. Great for wardriving, or just walking around the dorms, sniffing for open networks.
The other thing you should consider is, are these the values you want to instill in a new college student? Sure hacking, and messing around can be fun, but in today's society, there is a fine line between having fun and breaking the law!
Gururise
Giving the girl a copy of Ayn Rand's novels "The Fountainhead" and "Atlas Shrugged" sounds pretty fuckin' subversive to me.
If you want my number to give her (and you do!), just reply back! Hot college chicks rule!
After one year in college, my stupid ass got the boot. I had to leave my girl, and I wish someone would've sit me down and said "You will never meet another one like this again. She's beautiful, intelligent, wonderfully cynical, interesting, fun, and for some reason she's in love with your stupid ass. So don't fuck it up. Go to class, study, pay attention. I know that this freedom is going to be knew to you, but you have to remain a bigger person and control it. Just because you can skip class and not get busted by anyone doesn't mean you should. Watch the partying. Tomorrow is going to come no matter what, do you want to be well rested and still have your money or hung over and broke? Pick your friends carefully. Choose those that know how to have a good time but know when it's time to sit up and hit the books. And always remember: Theatre Majors are the epitome of laziness."
Finally, math books without any of that base 6 crap in them.
Anybody else think this is screwy?
...we are from the government - we are here to help...
To help her socially, I suggest a bong, the barware neccessary for mixing drinks a bit better than most college kids do, and a decent stereo.
To help her medically, I suggest condoms and umm... more condoms.
..I wished I had brought
-A decent pocket knife
-Duct Tape
-A decent baby-sized tool box -- with a good hammer, screwdrivers (flat & philips head), pliers, and all the other little goodies.
-Earplugs
-A beer..err...soda cozy
-Quarters, quarters, and more quarters
What is she studying? Prof. Badinovs "How to be a nogoodnik" at Whatsamatta U?
What would you need lockpicks at college for?
Now an iPod, she could get free software from the computer center at least.
Heck, get her a tape recorder so she can tape lectures or a small video camera.
Or if she has trouble paying tuition, get her a web cam and a guide to "Whoring yourself on the internet".
"For a successful technology, honesty must take precedence over public relations for nature cannot be fooled." -Feynman
The one thing that kept me popular in college was an endless supply of bottle openers (don't ask how).
---> suck it
My first semester freshman engineering class was all about Matlab, so buying a copy of that (or whatever software package they teach in her studies) would be useful. Of cousre, that's only a good idea if they aren't allowed to buy software at a discounted price. If she's in an apartment, you can always use more dishes/cookware. Food is also good. Or Tae-bo tapes, or running shoes, something along that line. Many students don't get any exercise, so get something to push her away from the frosh 15 (I lost 3 pounds freshman year :-P).
I've found that a bike to ride to class is very useful (I go to a large university, mind you). A $100 wal-mart bike would do for that (get a lock, too).
Ok, all I can think of.
I believe that the existence of women is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy
shot glass... very very important, it has many uses, can be used to drink rum AND vodka
Engraver, they're like $5 from radio shack
A small lockbox with holes drilled in the bottom that she can then mount to the bottom of her closet to put her valuables in. It saved my butt.
A number of someone to call when she gets homesick and freaked out.
Several $20 bills in seperate envelopes, for when she runs out of $$$ and needs a drink.
Casca
Every college student needs one. The bigger they are, the more stoners she'll impress. And remember, if you call them 'water pipes' they're perfectly legal!
God is real unless declared integer.
Am I allowed to say something I did have? Mmmmm - beer good! Oh wait, she in USA, oops, erm.... MMMMMM - Milk good!
I assume this person has a computer and that they are now moving away to college (that's what it sounds like). As a college student myself, these are some things which always come in handy:
1) Quarters
Think laundry. You always need quarters. Just send a couple rolls and it should last a while. Make sure you tell her what it is for so she doesn't just go spend it
2) Tools
Such as a hammer, screw drivers, etc. If you live in the dorms, no one has these types of things and they are hard to come by. Anyone who has tools is instantly popular.
3) Network Card?
If this person has used dialup all their life and never had/needed a network card, they will need one now to get online while at campus.
There is a lot more, you will find many more suggestions from other posters.
A girlfriend.
Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
1. Condoms
:-)
2. More condoms
3. Did I mention rubbers?
Prophylactics are a great gift for any college kid - male or female! They show that you are cool and hip to their scene, that you acknowledge that they are now an adult and able to make their own choices, they send a good message (practice safe sex), and you can never, ever have too many of them...
Definitely a win-win situation, if you ask me! I would just make sure that whatever card you send with this care package is no suggestive in the least...
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -- Benjamin Franklin
It's not a matter of 'can't get', it's a matter of 'can't afford' or 'can't get to the store' or 'didn't think to buy'. Ignoring traditional gender roles, what would be really useful for college:
4-in-1 Screwdriver. Hammer. Simple voltmeter. Drill. Electrical tape.
Towel (a really really nice fluffy new one, the kind your parents would have a heart attack if you used to wash the car or clean up a spill since it wasn't an old beat up towel. Write on it with permanent marker, something like "use for stuff your parents would cringe at you using a nice towel for" or something like that).
is competition good, or is duplication of effort bad?
a webcam!
At least, that's what I think they all need...
What did the walrus say to the penguin? "No soap, radio."
It depends which state you are in if lockpicks are legal... But sending any lockpicks in the mail to a non-locksmith is a federal crime.
Lets see... Send some of the best coffee beans on the earth... I always had bad coffee.
Depending where she goes to school, she would probably appreciate a nice little poppy patch to sit by and read. And the plants are legal to grow as long as you don't harvest the pods for illegal purposes.
how about an online subscription to one of those home work help sites? with all of the "example" essays, a PDA (as mentioned by others) would help too, also, one of those verizon phones that you buy minutes for, rather than carrying an actual cell phone plan for is another great idea, incase of an emergency
--fetch daddy's blue fright wig, i must be handsome when i release my rage
Condoms and a fake ID have already been mentioned; is there anything else a college student could want?
--
I Hit the Karma Cap, and All I Got Was This Lousy
And not for growing flowers per se. Hey it is as legal as lock picks (as in not illegal until used illegaly).
Lots and lots of quarters cuz your going to be doing alot of laundry.
Oh... and a very loud stereo is a must if you want to listen to your own music or otherwise you better like everyone elses music cuz thats all your gona hear.
I'm in college now. The most useful thing I could get right now would be a PDA with wireless LAN access. If I could read /. in class or on a couch in the SAU it would make my day. Plus, put Tiger Suite PDA on there and I don't even need to go to class.
The GeekNights podcast is going strong. Listen!
Wish I had some in college
managers...why god invented purgatory
boo-bam!
I wish I had a copy of Are you a Werewolf? to play with people. It is a game about lying and figuring out who is lying. It's fun, in a paranoid way, and would have told me a lot about my fellow students.
I got one right here baby!
And how 'bout an anonymizer account, encryption software, and a *nix based notebook for listening to listening to Democracy Now and staying in touch with friends and family without prying government eyes...
That way she can make her own money from the "privacy" of her room. And if her roommate is willing, she could make lots of money.
Hubba Hubba.
Come on, this site is 99.95% male Geeks and Nerds. Do you really think that any of us have a clue about what a normal female student would want??
Pass my sliderule would ya?
The race isn't always to the swift... but that's the way to bet!
Caller ID cell phone.
Get out of Jail Free Card. Serious, call and I come and get you no questions asked kind of thing. Giving them the card from a Monopoly game would be nice touch if it had a promise behind it.
Phone Mic for recording conversations.
Snort for the college network.
For god sakes a wireless switch to be the love of everyone in your dorm.
Paintball gun, so much fun just right at your fingertips.
Noise reduction headphones.
Eye Drops.
Espresso Machine.
Eclipse Light.
Butane Torch.
Web Cam, for almost anything.
Condoms.
Duct Tape(not to be confused with condoms).
MP3 player.
Sony Playstation2/xbox/gamecube.
Blinder.
Shot Glass.
Mixer.
A really nice tool kit.
If there is any room left pack it with Tampons, toliet paper, paper towels, and paper plates. You have no idea what kind of money you can get for these in a dorm on a weekend at around 1am.
Neck_of_the_Woods
#/usr/local/surf/glassy/overhead
A big, fat, funky brick of weed. Not only can she smoke weed, she can use it to generate income.
Bible, or bible-study-guide, or some type of book. Of course it depends on your and her religious lifestyle.
I believe that the existence of women is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy
Depends on Major:
English -
Classic Comic Book versions of
The complete works of Shakespeare
Psychology -
Classic Comic Book versions of
The complete works of Freud, Skinner, and Jung
Comp Sci -
Classic Comic Book versions of
THe Dragon book, etc
...
How about 'A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer?'
Failing that, 'The Anarchist's Cookbook' made for some interesting (if often incorrect) reading.
Oh, and make sure you get her one of those cool UV LED photonlights to go with her UV marking pen, you never know when you might want to check for forgeries, stains on the bedsheets (ugh!), etc...(just make sure she doesn't stare into it or point it at anyone).
Oh yeah, this is really news for nerds when info about the RC5 challenge nearly being over isn't.
"Population 1,656"
I dont know which college she is going to, but at mine (OSU) on average 1 in 4 women have been sexually asaulted durning there time at college. This is suppost to be comparable to other schools. So I agree with the comment about the mace and/or a stungun.
:)
As a college student I would agree with the other above comment. The things I find usefull are my laptop (wireless access is avalible on parts of campus at OSU) and a PDA (I use a REX 6000 becouse I only need it as an address book and schedualer). both things a college student cant afford easly.
Also a nice toy to have is a small tape recorder. That way you can record classes, and the occational threat from a teacher
Check out Thinkgeek's fine selection of wares.
Caffiene is always good to have around -
This thing looks cool as a low-cost portable solution to the stereo system -
And don't forget the general gadgets -
Duris MUD - The best pkill MUD. Ever.
I love how everyone is so damn liberal and 'save the world' in college. Then when they get out, start working, and realize how many people are really just mooching off their tax dollars, they switch.
Just make sure to cover you ass...
First, find where they are mentioned in the general laws of the state that she is going to school in. There are very few places where lockpicks are illegal to own and carry (Wash D.C. is one). The "Burglary Tools" argument is weak at best since a brick or a crowbar can be a burglary in the right environment. I don't see cops arresting people outside Home Depot tho.
Second, and VERY important!! Simply inserting a lockpick into a lock that you don't own (or have the owner's permission) constitutes breaking and entering, whether she opens the door or not.
Lastly, at least get her a full set and not one of those cheesy pick guns. try http://southord.com. Only get her a 15 piece set at most. More picks just mean more that she will never use.
Happy picking!
Careful. In some states carrying a set of lockpicks and not being a locksmith by trade is considered illegal. They're also not necessarily easy to use tools... Some of the guys that work here are quite good at what they do and it still takes them some time to get the pins caught just right.
Try gift vouchers from book stores. College books are dead expensive!! It sure will lessen her burden, whereas, at the same time letting her save money for booze and games.
For smoking tobacco ofcourse.
A gift certificate to their college bookstore. It may sound boring, and they may not like it until they get to college, but with the price of books, the best thing any college student could use is money. This way they will also wait till they get to college to spend it (not waste it on stuff during the summer).
Maruchan Ramen and a hot pot.
...are fairly cheap and would encourage web exhibitionism.
FoundNews.com - get paid to blog.,
you DEFINITLY have to give her a good towel.
tsk tsk, haven't you read ANY decent books?
"The majority is always sane, Louis." -- Nessus
http://slashdot.jp
Breast Implants. If used skillfully they can break into any room.
a toolkit in her purs
Laptop
CD-ROM burner - backups, projects, mp3...
Blank CDs
Digital-Audio recorder (w/ at least 90 min of record time)
Small digital camera
Nice headphones (compact yet good quality)
A PDA
Rechargeable batteries
Leatherman tool
An Almanac, Dictionary & Thesaurus
Really. The campus probably has an ATM machine, it's easy to get $5s and $20s out of a bank account. But the change machines always seem to be out of money or out of service. I don't want to spend money on something to break even a $5 into bills small enough to go into the pop machine...
Yeah, small bills and quarters. Better than lots of money any day of the week.
A witty [sig] proves nothing. --Voltaire
Talkabout Radios, preferably the long range ones (though they technically require a licence.)
Good communication is essential for any covert operations.
Remember, its not theft, its "reallocation of university resources".
1. Not to worry because no matter how hard you try you will withdraw from some or all of you classes at least one semester due to
A. Counter-Strike/EverCrack/Mist
B. Excessive Binge drinking that
carries over to the middle of the
week, and by then you realise you blew
that hole week so might as well
keep drinking until you sober up the
next wednesday, repeat...
C. The fact that you thought it would be
smart to take 24 credit hours in one
semester
2. Yes the people in the dorm room next door can hear you, and yes they know you are a screamer/moaner/barker, etc..
3. If you really try hard enough, you can live soley off roman and beer..
4. Don't worry if you switch majors 6 times your freshman year, it is normal everyone does it, then they stick with that last major until they are about halfway through their senior year and decide to switch again and they realise none of their credits will transfer except "Dress in world cultures" and "Modern Feminism" (everyone has to take those classes, they don't make you take english anymore, just look at my spelling)
It's not the OS it's the user that sucks. If it's user friendly, you get stupider people. - clinko
but I would give her a cell phone with long distance, a laptop for her work, and a car that does not break down in dodgy neighborhoods.
In addition I would give her an emergency credit
card with enough coverage to clear her out of
any bad situation.
/Soren
Good Toilet Paper (dorm TP sux),
microwave popcorn,
a prepaid CALLING CARD,
Porn,
blank CD's,
condoms of course,
Gift certificates to a local restaurant for real food,
first aid stuff,
A Dildo.
Stress relief.
Pez! Cherry flavored Pez! No question.
Come in very handy for taking off dorm windows to put in window fans. They're these screwdriver heads that look like an inverted torx head. Just look up "securty bit" or "game bit"
-Chuck
Viv
Gmail invites for ip
Condoms, bongs and bottle openers are hardly subversive. I think everyone agrees the mainstream message for those going to college is "time to get high, loaded and fucked."
Hello: I could have used a cash card with like $100.00 on it when I was in college. You never know when some extra cash is necessary!
DISCLAIMER:
I don't believe what I write, and neither should you.
prepaid phone cards
postage stamps
#10 security envelopes
potholder (for cooking, not a pipe)
but what I really wish I'd had in college:
a deluxe beer brewing kit
He looked at me and said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send your fingerprints off to Washington."
Sears and others sell compact kits with screwdriver, pliers, wrench, tape measure, assorted nails & screws, etc., for about $20-30. Absolutely invaluable to a new college student. Often the first thing they have to do is buy shelving or similar stuff for their dorm rooms. Kit needs to be small and flat to fit under the bed or in a corner. My wife and I teach music privately to high school students, and each year we have given each of the graduating seniors a toolkit, and they love it. Good luck!
1) money for drugs^H^H^H^H^Hfood
2) money for beer^H^H^H^Hmovies
3) money for clothes (for when you spill whatever you are cooking on them)
-EvilMonkeyNinja
Mild Mannered Host by Day
Wild Hammered Programmer by Night
Im in college right now and at my college we have to rent labtops(even if we have our own), add the weight of a labtop to the weight of the books that we have to lug around, I wouldn't be killing my back if i could have all my books in a ebook format
Forever live the fighters!
A nuker made my neighbor the Most Important Person in the dorm. A hotplate would be ok, too.
Also important are NoDoz, a bong (or at least a pipe or papers), lighters, coffee or other favorite caffinated beverage, sugar, non-dairy creamer, whipits (and dispenser), tea bags, cell phone (limited airtime), iPod (for warez)...
Karma: It's not just a good idea. It's the law.
I think we've all seen some idiotic "Ask Slashdot"s in our time, but this one is by far the lamest...
the disco biscuits rule :) rock on guys
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg
yup thats what I would want! ... or maybe a nice bubbler to go along w/ it
To help her avoid STDs, and enable her to concentrate on her studies without getting sidetracked by guys and relationships.
My leatherman, my PDA, my pocket USB drive, and my large supply of caffine.
At least give her the thought of going to morning classes (I've only missed one class cause of not waking up)
I believe that the existence of women is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy
Heh, I remember having lockpicks at the University. They have regular room keys and sub-masters and masters and grand-masters, four sets of pins per swipe, talk about easy pickings. Those locks opened in seconds.
I would recommmend some good blueprints of the buildings on campus (and any steam tunnels below) for hours of motion sensor tripping, incompetent cop dodging fun.
To quote from THHG:
A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine soredly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a brush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
BUT... if you really want to help her, get her some food. Good food. I lived on Ramen noodles, Little Debbie snack cakes, frozen pizzas, and Keystone Light. When you are living on the cheap, that is all you can afford. Give her a good, healthy, care-package of solid nutritious food-stuff. Don't give her food money, cause kids will spend it on crap they don't need and skimp on the food.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
Okay, condoms and stuff good, but this is a woman right?
Thigh high spike heeled boots.
Case of Rave Mega-hold hairspray (blue can)
Vibrator (someone else mentioned batteries)
Multiple web cams and portable digital cams.
Vasaline and Nitrate fertilizer, blasting caps (in case the lockpicks do not work)
Heavy leather cuffs, collar. Make sure colors match boots and are locking.
2 dozen padlocks, in sets of 4, various sizes.
Arc Welder.
Locking gas caps that fit the campus police cars.
.45 ACP semi-auto, the Glocks are best but if she is obsessively clean a Colt 1911 will be fine.
Laser sight and silencer.
Laser pointer.
If she is hot you don't need to send any drugs, fake IDs or alochol with her, the folks with the drugs, alcohol and doormen will find her just fine.
Asprin.
Swiss Army Knife.
Eve Fairbanks says I drive a hybrid!LOL
How about a half decent first aid kit with a large size bottle of Pepto Bismol and a large bottle of Excedrin Migraine, a decent prepaid phone card, and Duct Tape.
When I was in college what kept me down was not lack of stuff (though I had very little) but lack of knowledge. I was a real ignoramous. Perhaps there's a book or website along the lines of "Idiot's Guide To How Not To Be An Idiot In College And Life". Or give her a book on basic personal finance, one on basic health and one on healthy relationships. Perhaps better yet, think about the top three things you wish you'd known in college, and tell her. My top three: talk to your professors (some don't care, but some do, take advantage), don't undersell yourself or limit the scope of your opportunities (e.g., when looking for jobs, internships and student leadership roles) and lay off the snack foods and sodas (don't be a sugar junkie).
...would be a colorless, odorless, noiseless roommate.
I also found many a great thing in college. The best was the unexplained naked woman in my room...
Mmmmmm.... Unexplained Woman....
Anon P.O. box is so the local campus gestopo doesn't get any ideas about why you want a subscription to a magazine subtitled "the hacker quarterly"
How about a pack of Chaser pills to prevent hangovers?
http://www.kubuntu.org/
From AAA Plus Member Benefits, which includes Emergency Roadside Assistance:
Plus Extended Towing up to 100 Miles: When your vehicle cannot be started or driven safely, free towing is provided up to 100 miles from the point where your vehicle is disabled to the destination of your choice. This extended benefit includes one tow per disablement using appropriate equipment to safely transport your vehicle.
Plus Lock & Key Services: This service provides up to $100 in parts and labor coverage for lock and key service needed to gain access to your vehicle and make it operable.
Plus Free Fuel Delivery: A sufficient amount of fuel will be delivered free of charge to enable you to reach the nearest open service station.
Plus Alternative Service Reimbursement: Extends your benefits to include full reimbursement for covered services based on the prevailing commercial rate for the region where the vehicle was disabled, if AAA services was requested by unavailable. Lock and key services will be reimbursed up to $100. To apply for reimbursement, submit an itemized receipt for service to the Member Relations Dept., 2040 Market Street, Philadelphia, PA 19103 within 30 days.
Plus Legal Defense Reimbursement: If you are charged with a motor vehicle violation which you believe is unjust and require an attorney, AAA Plus will reimburse you for your attorney's fees in accordance with the following schedule:
Manslaughter by Automobile
Representation in Primary Court $800
Representation in any Higher Court (an additional) $1,200
Maximum Benefit $2,000
Assault & Battery by Automobile
Representation in Primary Court $200
Representation in any Higher Court (an additional) $300
Maximum Benefit $500
Moving Traffic Violation
Representation in Primary Court $100
Representation in any Higher Court (an additional) $150
Maximum Benefit $250
Plus Free International Guides: AAA Plus Members can obtain our renowned international guidebooks and maps absolutely free. Certain restrictions may apply.
Plus Crime Prevention Reward Plus Free International Guides: AAA Plus offers a reward up to $2,000 for information leading to the arrest and conviction of anyone who steals your vehicle.
Plus Auto Travel Accident Reimbursement Service: If the vehicle you are driving is disabled in a traffic accident 100 or more miles from home, you will receive up to $700 for car rental, commercial transportation, meals and lodging expense occurring within 72 hours of your accident or within the time it takes for you to return home or to arrive at your final destination, whichever is less.
Plus Extended Extrication Service: This services extends Basic benefits to include a second truck and operator for one hour at the scene of disablement.
---
I believe AAA also sells an emergency cellphone which can contact police/911/AAA.
Mod Karma -1: I sed bad wurds. If I cep my mouf shut, I wud be at riyses.
Legal items only, please
Actually, if you've already included a lockpick set, that may not be legal. In most states, it's illegal to own a lockpick set unless you have a locksmith license. In minnesota, this is definitely the case.
Need Free Juniper/NetScreen Support? JuniperForum
What are the chances this Ask Slashdot is from a marketing troll at ThinkGeek, for example?
You need quaters for laundry and vending machines
Stamps to pay bills
and if you are luck you'll need comdoms.
-Give her a coffee maker or good quality coffee if she already have one. -Apple counter-clockwise watch. (just for the fun of it)
I don't know where she is going to live exactly, but in general student housing is not all that luxurious. Anyway, (depending on climate of course), get her an air conditioning device to keep the place cool. A fan is of course useful too, but an A/C is much better. Especially when most models can also be used as a heater (very useful in certain places with large temperature variations...).
:)
Anything related to computing might not be worth it, because there is always the upgrade cycle. This one should last througout the entire study period
(IANAL, but I used to watch Perry Mason.) Last time I was in Texas, it was illegal for the driver of a car to have an open alcoholic beverage, but of course the passenger could be holding two of them. Also, I think this limitation didn't apply to pickup trucks.
i've found merriam-webster online to be better than dictionary.com
Beyond that, I'd highly recommend a leatherman tool and cash.
If you want your target to fail, consider a gameboy advance.
fnord
Lots, and lots of Ramen noodles...
// file: mice.h
#include "frickin_lasers.h"
Rock on man. My grandmother gave cases of Ramen. Now I hate Ramen, but I still love grandma.
What freaks me out about most of the posts is how party oriented they are. Having to pay my way through school really set my priorities for me. I am not paying 18 grand(!!) a year of my own money to swizzle cheap beer out of a tin can!
Today Im young and retired, while my classmates are whining about being laid off in the slump. They should have laid off of the booze and drugs and got busy.
You are all too critical of the lock picks. It is college for god's sake. There wasn't ever much you could do to get you into THAT much trouble. I had a friend at MIT who would sneak into just about every building on the campus and go exploring on the roofs and other such places. Unless you were trying to burn the place down, I doubt it would even get you into much trouble.
RAMEN
sudo eat my shorts
Teach the kid how to do an oil change.
And how to repair dings in a dorm wall.
And it isn't just a list of stupid, dangerous, destructive shit like the Anarchist Cookbook, and it's not just a guide to mischief or pranks. It has a point -- a guide to doing aggressive direct action. There's way to much pointless crap out there, and college is a time when you should cast off a lot of that stuff (or decide what really matters and what doesn't). Not everyone does that, but hey, you can give her a nudge :)
Lock box that can screw into a desk drawer. good for keeping the roomie out of your...stuff
Resolve carpet cleaner. Clean up that barf or bongwater before the RA finds out
Spray Bottle and rubbing alcohol. gets any nature of odor out of the air...quickly
"Do Not Disturb" sign. use your imagination
microcassette recorder. good for lectures, bugging and recording any nature of other thing
"Let him go, Ralph. He knows what he's doing." --Otto Mann (simpsons)
ethernet (cross-cables), power, usb, firewire, ...
So she can call talk to mom/dad or old friends whenever.
-THIS SPACE FOR RENT!
Roll of quarters
Favorite baking
Favorite snack
CDs
Videos
New day planner (the one the school gave her is shit)
Umm, be creative, get her things that will make her smile, maybe follow her hobbies (not that she has any time for them)
Also, When you send her food, send her her favorites, and send her a bunch of other stuff she likes too. Gives her lots to share with people that she lives with. Makes her a nice person, and not everyone she lives with will be getting these.
PK
Engineers arn't boring people, we just get excited about boring things.
There's nothing like a laser pointer for adding that little touch of frustration to tired and emotional lecturers.
However, USE SPARINGLY and only when you cannot be spotted. A little subliminal flash across the board when he/she is writing, and he or she will not know whether to get angry or dismis it as an acid flashback.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, Or close the wall up with our American dead!
CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics
I mean, isn't that the bible for college living?
How else would anyone get to the Cheeseburger at the end of the Universe...
You could get those fake binoculars that hold your choice of beverage inside...
Hair clippers. Professional barber ones. College kids have a tendency to cut their own hair and anyone who OWNED clippers was immediately your friend.
Burn Hollywood Burn
Hell yea I hope she finds a chick like that and streams her room on the web!!!
I recently lost my Swiss Army knife of many years, and bought a Leatherman PST II. It's bigger and bulkier to carry, but wow! Now it's a permanent part of my attire. Very useful to have around.
"My strength is as the strength of ten men, for I am wired to the eyeballs on espresso."
Get a complete set of the British Comedy "The Young Ones" available on VHS so you can see what happens while your at college and never go to class. Several of my buddies and I on my dorm floor loved these tapes and they get even funnier while drunk.
A copy of "Animal House".
A T-Shirt that just says "College" (ala Animal House).
Bottle Opener (for those tricky imports).
Condoms was already said, always an essential.
A Chainsaw. (Your needs may vary, I needed it.)
And the absolute most fun thing I had in college that didn't involve a member of the opposite sex directly was a Radio Scanner. (of course now days those pesky 900mhz/2.4ghz phones are all scrambled) Snoop onto Campus Security as they Snoop Onto you.
I think we'd all enjoy a nice cold beverage. -David Letterman
A couple cases of that energy drink RedBull, and a shitload of Vodka.... that stuff is amazing when mixed together and keeps you awake longer... so you'll be half-pissed and wide awake; a perfect state for an all nighter :)
;)
or am I the only one who does my best coding when I'm pissed... course that's also the only time I was able to FULLY understand the inner workings of Rijndael and how Galois Fields work.... go figure
Oh god, that woman is John Romero!
How about one of those? You know, just like a bear trap, but really small, so it can fit snugly inside a pussy. So if one of those weirdo frat boys try to infiltrate the pussy at a party, he'll get caught up in some hardcore shit. :)
Keep her safe & friendly:
http://www.eztest.com/
Keyghost (www.keyghost.com) keystroke logger. I'm buying one before I leave for college - never know when it'll come in handy.
I'm the stranger...posting to
Now, I've been out of the college scene for all of 2 weeks now, but I question the need for things like a lockpick set. I mean, if you're gonna need it, odds are it's gonna end up in that dresser/desk draw that you open up twice all year, when moving in and moving out, which dosent help much if, say, you locked yourself out of your room. While coming back from the shower. In only a towel. Not that I know about that....
Now, the UV Marking pen makes sense, only if you include a blacklight. And a whole lot of alcohol or other substances. Man, those walls come ALIVE, along with all the flourescent Pink Floyd posters.
Now, I always liked getting duct tape. It's great to fix things, build furnitire with, and even use in place of a belt! Along the same lines are foam insulation tubes, like the kind you put around pipes. It's handy to cover up rough edges on pipes/closet sides/wnatever, and also makes great nerf-like weapons! All for a couple bucks! WOW!
Now, to get aside from the handyman stuff, the last thing I'd send too a geek would be some sort of USB or Firewire hard drive, preferably one that dosent need external power. I had one for my last semester while working on a project with a lot of high-res images, and it came in very handy. And only cost about $50. Whether I was in class in a lab or in my room, it was nice to have everything the way I wanted it, and not have to move to copy it all to a zip disk (or 4). I mean, it wasnt totally necessary, but I really liked the convienence. It's also nice to have enough MP3's on hand to keep me going for hours away from home.
But just actual letters onc a twice a month would help. I just got back fomr my first year of college and it was very exciting and scary at the same time and hearing form people back home was one of the best things. Also, a book on stupid bar/ party tricks would be great. I impressed many a group of girls with some stupid magic tricks with beer bottles and even got offered a bid to join a fraternity because I had so many girls taking me around to parties to do those tricks. Really good Ice breakers.
Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook and The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex
He looked at me and said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send your fingerprints off to Washington."
Quarters and a nice big loose change dish.
The tiny book "Success: One Day at a Time" by John C. Maxwell
One of the Atomix battery-operated digital clocks that sets itself over a radio frequency. It will be the lowest maintenance item she will ever own.
A Panasonic cordless phone. WHY does everyone always use the stupid corded phones in dorm rooms. Plus, the panasonic will probably last her 10 years.
A paper shredder. Damn I wish someone had given me a paper shredder!
A bottle or two of Nyquil probably isn't a bad idea either. You will always be catching some stupid three-day cold in college.
Ben-Wah balls. They're kind of neat to have around.
####
Well, I'm tapped out for ideas. G'day mate!
####
Life size poster of natalie portman.
Dude, are you trying to get into her pants? Just send yourself!
a time machine would be nice...er..wait...getting ahead of myself
And I don't mean a PDA.
Seriously, buy her a vibrator. Hours of fun, no one else needed. Legal in most states.
"I sure wish I had one, esp to remind me of my projects and homework due."
ESP??? No wonder they're so popular...
What does one sound like in it's head? Does it sound like yourself saying "I've got a meeting now, better go." Or more like, "yo dude, you've got a f*cking meeting?"
If only I had the money...
Do the linux PDA's have ESP also? I just hope they don't open source my mind...
What comes first, finding a teacher or becoming a student?
Oh, and those tools are good for... erm... "borrowing" all sorts of other things, too. Truly,the gift that keeps on giving. =)
When I went to college, I was just straight up poor. It was one of the nicest things to be able to eat food :)
God spoke to me
Am I the only one who realizes that this submission is a joke?
hahahah best gimmick in a long time
An SUV, one of the big ones. ; )
Every college kid should have a good assortment of stash boxes. I have one in my vehicle, put in by a local custom car shop, and a few in my house that I built myself. They are great for hiding stuff that you might want to keep out of normal view A decent safe never hurt but given the tight spaces that usually confines college kids I'd suggest a small fire box with a simple key or number lock.
1 .html
here's a cheapie stash example:
http://www.pentagondefense.com/booksafe
~trust no one, always roll your own tin foil hats
Would be to include nail/toenail clippers. I never gave it a thought until a week or so after I had been to college.
... chicks do NOT like long nails on men.
Of course, there were about 20,000 students who forgot the same damn thing, so all the local stores were sold out. Let me tell you
Amen, brother. Am I missing something? Why is this high-tech care package such a necessity? Maybe I'm showing my age but I remember college as being a place where I worked hard at school, hung out with friends, and drank a lot of beer. PDAs and other electronic gismos were simply not required.
I have already included a lockpick set, a UVmarking pen, and an LED flashlight in her care package.
I'm sorry: what classes are these items going to help her with?
Hey, I've got a radical idea for you! Why don't you skip the care package altogether? Let Linda or Betty or whatever her name is figure out for herself what she needs instead of loading her up with pointless trinkets. And then let her figure out how to get the needed items (ask you, buy it herself, construct a makeshift workaround, etc.) Sure, it's not as fancy to do it that way but it gives her a chance to identify a problem, develop a solution and then do whatever needs to be done. That is what growing up is all about, right? If you pack her care package with every damn thing she could ever need, what Life Lession is that helping her figure out?
GMD
watch this
But not because it's a 'burglar tool'.
There are laws specifically about lockpicks, and in some states, and all of Canada, it is unlawful to have a lockpick unless you are a practicing locksmith on the job (and in Canada, that includes being registered & carrying papers.. how draconian).
However, in MOST states, something is only a 'burglar tool' if used to commit burglary. (Crowbar, lockpick, etc). Posessing the item in and of itself is not a crime.
what else were you planning on giving her... rope, and the Worst Case Scenario handbooks? Give her things that she will really make use of and appreciate.
Probably the best thing that you can give her is a good pillow and a foam eggcrate for the mattress. Dorm beds are killer (more plastic than bed) and it can be very hard to fall asleep with them. This is something that will help her *every* single night, as opposed to a lock-pick set which might help once a year, if that. (once she has it, will she even figure out how to use it?)
Also, if you must give her a gadget or something, give her something like a lava lamp -- another cool thing that she can appreciate on a regular basis.
Or, if you really want to be subversive, a copy of GNUCash.
One of the things you need to know when you hit college, and likely haven't already learned, is how to manage all of your own expenses.
It's also one of those things they never bother to teach you in most places.
The thing about things we don't know is we often don't know we don't know them.
It sounds like you're compiling a gift basket of things you'd like, not her. It's good to see that the comments (reading at +2) lean towards real useful things that someone going off to college would find useful. Take their advice.
either kind.
My cube. My friend. My solace. My prison.
-A Handheld Acetylene Torch...
-A get out of jail free card?
Search the web for lists of banned books or other thought provoking books and pick up a few choice titles...
I'd suggest a copy of "Howl" by Allen Ginsberg and 'Player Piano' by Vonnegut...
Another good book that i would recommend is called "Sex on Campus" by Leland Elliott and Cynthia Brantley which covers most of the questions I think college students would have about the subject, plus, its a hell of a conversation piece... you wouldnt believe how many people that came into my dorm room, browsed my book collection and picked it up and began reading it.
Nothing is more subversive than knowledge
My Stuff: pspChess and foobar2000 plugins
I had endless amounts of fun with a megaphone in my dorm. things such as asking people if they are awake.. very loudly. or talking to your roommate.. very loudly. or answering junk phone calls.. very loudly.
:-/
Yes. I know I am sad.
My uncle is the Director of Public Health for a county in Illinois that shall remain nameless. When *I* went away to school I got gross of gross-size boxes of condoms. 20,000-something of them.
:)
Mostly they got used as water balloons and sold at usurious prices to dorm-mates with an unexpected opportunity.
When a friend had to move away from her boyfriend to start Pharmacy school, I got her a small assortment of vibrators (waterproof, gel, plug-in), some "Astro Glide" and a pre-paid phone card. I've been thanked profusely by both parties for that one.
Web Camera. I had one when I was at school. Once I actually got an SO, it suddenly had a million household uses.
Telescope. For the voyeur in all of us.
Subscription to dirty magazine. OK, even if you aren't into that sort of thing, this stuff makes good barter material (nothing like a fratboy too embarassed to buy his own) and, if you're willing to share your bounty, will probably make you a few friends.
Lamination machine. Million household uses for an enterprising college student. Patricularly when paired with an Alaskan or Puerto Rican drivers license.
Anything that makes people think you have a bizarre lifestyle. Nothing like being able to pull on a pair of skintight latex chaps, a 24" dildo and exclaiming to your annoying roommate that you're ready for a quiet evening at home. Note that holy books from weirdo relgions probably work just as well, if you can keep up the right sort of patter.
Damn. I'll probably think of more goodies later.
Geez. Guess I'm some kind of pervert. Oh well. At least I'm not an anonymous coward.
-- I wanna decide who lives and who dies - Crow T. Robot, MST3K
OK, I give. How the hell do you get Score: 5, Troll?
--
voluntarily giving up the +1 posting bonus for this
Fascism starts when the efficiency of the government becomes more important than the rights of the people.
A copy of "Fahrenheit 451" and a copy of "1984".
I will be happy to autograph the former, see if Emmanuel Goldstein will autograph the latter.
Warmest Regards,
Guy Montag
Eve Fairbanks says I drive a hybrid!LOL
...a gold Mastercard. $10k limit.
John Maynard Keynes: "When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do?"
If she has a Mac, get her Boswell. No one seems to know about it yet, but it will make her class work much easier and give her a big competitive edge over the other students.
Great for dorm life. Perfect for late night meal after the caffeteria is closed.
Knocks out the fat!
Now that's subversive.
Carousel is a lie!
You asked for subversive stuff...
1. Anarchist's cookbook
2. Various tapes and adhesives. Duct tape all around a door will keep it closed.
3. Stun gun (place a live network cable between the leads & watch what happens).
4. Spider-wire fishing line. Super thin, super strong.
Braid it and you can lift people with it! Wonderful stuff for practical jokes.
5. 1 baggie of crushed swimming pool shock treatment (chlorine)
1 baby food jar amoinia
1 can brake fluid
1 glass quart jar
instructions telling her to combine outdoors on concrete and get the hell away
You may want to review current laws on making this though. Phosgene gas and
smoke are looked down on by some members of the establishment these days.
6. Slim-jim (for car-doors) Open a car, fill it with whatever is available).
7. Cheap perfumes from the dollar store. Soak down someone's closet
8. Stinky foods - to hide in people's dorm rooms
When I was in college, I wish my mom would have sent me gift certificates to the grocery store. If there is a Kroger store in the area, you can get a credit card style gift certificate that can be "re-charged". Having that little piece of plastic is alot easier than having to carry around a bunch of cash.
Then on the other hand, I would have REALLY liked it for the class I took where we learned to write prgrams for a mag-stripe reader/writer...
if she is hot, you can send her my email ......
At the risk of sounding un-hip... what's "Semisid"?
ThinkGeek caffeine sampler
pepper spray/whistle for walking home from a late-night class
any kind of non-perishable food (boxes and boxes of candy)
drug testing kits (dancesafe.org sells them)...everyone knows kids will take drugs, why not make it as safe as possible.
return cab fare. label it specifically as such. with a note saying only to use when you have no way home or there is no sober driver.
"Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!"
Wheres my cool graduation gift?
can i get a set of what ever she gets?
maybe some floppys cd-rs.
or some frs raidos with voice activation.
what a lucky kid... i didnt get anything cool for graduation just come luggage that ive never used and prolly wont.
My phone number and email address ;-) lol
http://www.head-shop.com/snuff.htm
Sooner or later it will occur to the recipient that there are better things to use it for than "snuff". Plus, that'll fit with "higher education".
that stuff is nasty. I never understood what people saw in it. Other than it is dirt cheap. But it's gross. I guess I've never had the luxory of being so hard up for cash that I've needed to eat Ramen Noodle. But, I still have 2 more years to go...
...of prophylactics
Rien n'est plus beau que le creux du 0.
Its less than $50 for a basic one I belive, and we college kids can't remember things on our own, just set it to beep and we're on class almost on time.
to practise on. A friend gave me one, and when I am doing ong compiles, I just hand practise. Kind of like juggling, but more practical.
Personally, though, I would give her some condoms. It will save her life.
The UV pen is to mark everything that you own without visabily marking it up. Makes for easier itentification of stuff when it gets swiped. Also can be used to mark your hand to get into bars, clubs, etc.
I would assume that the flashlight is just for safety while she is out at night.
I have no idea what the lock picks are for. I know what they are used for...but not for this setting.
Caffeine and sleeping pills were the only way to maintain any type of schedule. Because so many professors don't seem to understand that you're probably taking other classes besides theirs, late nights are inevitable.
Soft drinks were ok, but eventually I would need to stay awake and alert longer than Jolt would allow (and that much sugar is fucking terrible anyway.)
Then there are the times when you have the time to sleep, but just can't. Maximum strength Sominex quelled that particular fire.
I'm so glad I'm done with school.
Seriously, get her a Leatherman multitool. I got one for my 18th birthday a few months ago, it's already saved my life once (literally) as well as just being damned handy all the time.
Username taken, please choose another one.
"Time is long and life is short, so begin to live while you still can." -EV
If you're feeling really evil, give her a list of MUDs.
:)
Everything in the Universe sucks: It's the law!
... would be my phone number. I can subvert in 3 seconds flat.
How 'bout, how 'bout, some tampons?! And a chastity belt?!
and keep the key !!!!!!!!!
According to my wife, she should have: * several doses of an anti-yeast infection medication. * a lice comb suitable for any area. * and a tattoo in a prominent location reading, "If found, please return to . . "
Yes, working has been proven to yield financial rewards. I am a full time college student taking 18 hours every semester and I also work a full time job. No, I don't have time to sit around and play video games every day but I do party on the weekends (responsibly of course). I have a cell phone, a pda, a laptop, 3 computers (Athlon 800 or better), and a decent amount of nice hi-fi equipment (Note I said hi-fi, this means not Sony and other crappy consumer level brands). Just because you're in college doesn't mean you have to be poor. On the other hand if you're lazy and irresponsible then I fully support you being destitute, becoming a bum, and hopefully persevering against all odds to survive long enough to do something monumentally stupid and win a Darwin award.
Yes self reliance is beneficial, however self pity is not. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that you lived that way because you chose to, just as I chose to work a full time job and go to school in lieu of a social life 5 nights a week.
FYI: Your nutritional habits probably contributed to your low energy level which explains why you may not have elected to get a job and earn some money. It sounds dumb, but good nutrition and a proper amount of sleep (when possible) will increase your productivity exponentially. Yeah, I sound like my parents, but maybe that's not such a bad thing.
Finally, The stage of life you are in (i.e. college) does not determine your values, motivations, or financial status, you do, accept the responsibility for the way you lived because it was your choice.
People are the problem, stop procreation now!
So, you mean that the package should include Lego Mindstorms?
I've gotta get more friends like you. Nobody sends me care packages.
Printer cartridges Way to expensive to justify the manufacturing.
Eyeglass screwdrivers So many things with little screws.
Computer paper On the 4th draft of a 10 page research paper, it will come in handy.
Christmas lights (a definite need) The only suitable lighting for a dorm room.
Needlenose pliers Better than your fingers.
Duct tape...all duct tape Duct tape fixes everything. EVERYTHING!
A DOORSTOP! Gotta let the coeds know you are home, and available.
Brita Water Filter Dorm water sucks.
Umbrella Rain water sucks.
Tums Cafeteria food does a number on your stomach. They are my only friend.
Band-aids Bleeding is just unfashionable.
Disposable Dinnerware Dishes are no fun when you don't have a dishwasher.
Maybe include a little bit of spending money for those essentials that you forget. I spend the first week of a semester buying things I forget to bring.
A Good Moulage kit for disguises.
A copy of "Steal This Book" for inspiration.
A poster of Lysander Spooner.
Gift certificates to local tattoo shoppes.
A box of Zig Zags.
A bottle of Jellied lantern fuel.
I forget what brand name type stuff they had, but when I moved into the dorms they gave everyone a bucket of cool stuff like mouthwash, toothpaste, shampoo, cologne, long distance phone cards, caffeine pills (so if you've got a test tomorrow and haven't studied yet, well, this will fire you up! I aced my calculus final because of this stuff.)... and a bunch of other stuff we generally just dumped. :/ having the bucket was cool too ;)
My vote would have been for some good ol' green sticky stuff but since you said "legal only" I suggest the next best thing.
o Blunt papers.
o Roach clips.
o A bong.
o A pipe or two.
o Small scissors.
o An electronic hand scale (can be expensive).
Some of these may be illegal in certain states, though, so YMMV.
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
:o)
ISBN: 0811825558
Price: £7.99 (GBP)
Its as it says in the title, how to cope with everything from parachute not opening, to escaping killer bees, to getting out of quick sand...
Not so much useful (Though, I might be one day!!), as something to laught at on the train/coach/bus etc. But I got my brother (18) a copy not so long ago, and it went down great.
Theres also versions on Travel and Sex and Dating.
Good clean fun
I saw the light at the end of the tunnel... But it was just someone with a flashlight bringing more work.
I don't know if that's illegal or not...
Get her a cable-lock remover, if CATV charges aren't already included in the room price. Or better yet, something to open up the entire box (was a torx tamper-resist head, TR-8, at my school... hard to find, but you can get 'em online or at some automotive shops). Most campuses pay a flat rate to get signal for ALL their units anyway, so one subscriber more or less doesn't affect ATT/Covad/Etc. Also handy if you DO pay for your signal, but don't want to wait for the service guy to show up.
I have no idea what the lock picks are for. I know what they are used for...but not for this setting.
My guess is steam tunnels.
yes, mac and cheese is essential - the instant variety. also: stuff in which to nuke it - like cups and bowls (innovative and happy designs)
-toaster oven, this has the greatest impact on quality of life in a dorm.
-good quality lighter
-allen wrenches, philipshead screwdriver
-i was given a crowbar for graduation. dunno why. but i like having it in my dorm.
but the best present was a gift certificate to a bookstore with the following admonition scrawled on the back: "Remember, speed reading is a form of Gluttony." I put it on my wall. it helps to keep things in perspective.
~clearcutting prevents forrest fires
Seriously.
A CD of Gregorian Chanting is an incredibly useful thing to have in a dorm.
When the people just down/across the hall are blaring their music with their door open so loud you can't think/talk/study just pop in the chanting and crank it up.
They'll close their door and turn down their music inside of 30 seconds. Then you can turn down yours and pop in something you LIKE.
Fool-Proof. Worked for me flawlessly throughout my college time.
It is a little campy, but over all an excelent book, I highly recomend it. I'm surprised the more enterprising geeks I knew at the time had not thought of this. At least I do not recall anyone doing this in school.
You never know when you're going to need to open things up. I carry these in my car http://secure.sovietski.com/cgi-bin/Sovietski.stor efront/3cf53fb9000235b42b08c0a80a12060f/Product/Vi ew/203103
all it takes is a little practice. Also, locksmithing can be a good way to earn extra cash during school. Think of how many times you see people lock themselves out of their cars or dorm rooms. $10 a pop is what I charged, but that was 10 years ago. I wouldn't reccomend cars, if you don't know what you're doing. Just stick with doors, and remember that sliding glass doors are much easier!!
It variest state to state, but generally breaks down into various categories:
-100% illegal unless you're a locksmith(licensed/registered.) Many states are this way. Spare me the bullshit lectures about encryption/hack tools/whatever.
-"upgrades" any charges filed against you if you're caught doing something illegal WITH them. Sorta like difference between robbery and armed robbery.
-variant of #2: upgrades charges if you ARE IN POSESSION when caught doing something illegal.
-100% okey-dokey. Kinda rare.
All in all, pretty goddam stupid to give to her. If anything gets stolen in her dorm, and ANYONE knows she has the set(this won't take long), guess who's gonna get hauled into the Dean's office(if anything else, to ask, "Young lady, please explain why you are in posession of a lockpick set") or have her dorm room searched? Ok, so maybe they don't find the missing item, but find pot/alcohol/pet/toaster or similar banned-from-your-dorm-room item...sucks to be her.
I am a bit cureious about the lock pick set. I don't think I ever had a need for one.
Oh, and as stated many times before, LOTS of quarters.
Oh come on now.
Lock hacking is a time-honored tradition in colleges throughout the land. I don't think anybody was suggesting that she break in to the guy down the street; this is for breaking into COLLEGE buildings. Nothing wrong with that, especially if it allows access to Forbidden Equipment!
Dave
(Amazon ref given only for reference, please do not think I'm suggesting that you actually buy anything from those assholes.)
If a Mac isn't subversive on college campuses these days I don't know what is.
1. A good chargeable razor.
2. Hello Kitty syringes.
3. Getaway car (eg viper)
Coffee mug - for obvious reasons. Can also be used for tea, pencils, paper-clips, etc.
Champagne glasses (set of 2) - You may not need them often. But you'll be glad you've got them when you do.
That way, she can truly be a subversive, mp3 & divx-sharing commie spawn. Alternatively, if she's strapped for cash, she can burn adult dvds of herself. I bet your friend would love you for giving his daughter that opportunity!
Stop the brainwash
... is a stun-gun.
Money money money. 99 cents for two loaves of white bread and 99 cents for a dozen eggs only keeps you in french toast for a week. Money money money.
Give serendipity a chance.
.. so that she'll remember not to get too drunk at parties.
Live web cams
Duh.
I had one fo those ancient little black wireless microphones (i.e. BUG) from radio shack, and we had plenty of fun with that. Broadcasts through about 2 dorm rooms worth of concrete.
Hint: Attack it to a metal bedspring and the range is better... of course that might be a little TOO close to what you are evesdropping on.
M@
Krispy Cream is people
1) toilet paper, two ply, quilted, the good kind... buy it in bulk rolls... at college, they only have t.p. from the "ChaffYourAss" manufacturing corporation...
2) duct tape... for some reason I was always asking people for duct tape... to run wires... to hang stuff... stuff like that...
3) staple gun... industrial grade... something that will drive a staple into the concrete walls they have in dorms...
4) blank CD-R's... we all know colleges are pits of mass copyright violation...
5) Room decorations: for 90% of college kids, this means Christmas lights, a Salvador Dali poster, and an M.C. Escher poster...
6) A steam-vac cleaner... college dorm room floors are *NASTY*...
7) Pickup/delivery laundry service... cause you don't want laundry to be that *other* "time of the month"...
8) Linux/BSD/MacOS X... cause ***EVERYBODY*** in college passes around those @!$#ing MS Outlook and Win32 email worms...
Just off the top of my head...
-jag
http://starboard.flowtheory.net/
+ Lap desk (I like Levenger's version)
+ Either nice pen set or 10 or so boxes of cheapies, depending on if she tends to lose pens.
+ At least 20 packs of post-it flags
+ Good reading light, or mini-booklight
Some stuff I wish I'd've brought when I was in college before I got kicked out for grades (long story), other stuff, I think'd be good gifts:
Condoms(useful for obvious reasons, but also for an activity called tailpipe condomming, place condom on tailpipe of vehicle, and hide in bushes while waiting for victim to start car)
Vibrator (well, a guy can ALSO use it with his gf, for example)
Fake ID
Kama Sutra
Lubricant(useful for a panoply of reasons, including pranks)
Duct Tape (handy for last-minute repairs)
a bottle or two of vino for dates, and a sampler pack of various brews
rolling papers
guitar or some other musical intrument
earplugs (hell, you get surrounded by idiots who play their stereos all night, and the religious nutjob below you gets all upset at YOU because he knows you're the insomniac and is too scared to go into the "sin pen" of the party animals)
UV lamp, handy for checking the pen marks and for checking for any strange stains
Small portable radio, great for listening to the college radio station, or to late night talk like Art Bell for those All-Nighters.
Any book by Terrence McKenna
A CD-ROM with the contents from Erowid.org or Lycaeum.org
a cd burner. With a connection to the campus network in her dorm room she can download mp3z like mad.
FoundNews.com - get paid to blog.,
A big bong and a lot of condoms.
what every girl should have on-campus.
Pepper-spray.
Hey, it's tough being on your own. Might as well brace her for the onslaugh of unsupervised boys running willy-nilly.
Oh, and a package of condoms. Hey, not all the boys running willy-nilly are bad. If she can't be good she might as well be safe.
My I suggest 15% pepper spray with a nitrogen propellent so that it is non-flamable. You don't want her to "Rambo" some pushy dude, just disable him for 5 minutes so she can get away. Also, if you get the type with the UV dye it makes it easy to ID the creep if he was criminally abusive. The dye is invisible and he won't realize he's been marked until he gets radiated by a Black Light.
If size is an issue get the 1/2 oz. bottle and send a new one each year as they have a short shelf-life. They make great key-chains. Otherwise the 2oz. bottle is best. You can clear a room with one of those and then blast any persuers who are stupid enough to follow you after your exfiltration.
Good luck, enjoy college!
Yeah, wtf business have you got posting to this topic? Did you even go to college?
If one of my dad's friends had given me anything with sexual connotations I know it would have made me uncomfortable.
5 00201.h tml
Give her an MP3 player, that also has voice recording capabilities. She can record those boring lectures, and then play them back if she wants to. Plus it can be used for tunes as well.
Here is one I randomly found on google that looks good:
http://www.archos.com/us/products/product_
---
I support spreading santorum
BANKS. They're called BANKS. You can go to a BANK and get nice, convenient rolls of quarters.
Liberty uber alles.
As a first year college student, living off-campus with some friends, here is my suggestions.
First, make sure you have maintenance tools, like a hammer, screwdriver, nails, good scissors, and maybe a utility knife.
You will need stuff to get the bills done with: envelopes and stamps and a little hanging file thing to keep track of stuff you get. Trust me, you should save at least 3 months of crap, like reciepts and contracts so that you can return something if you never use it or get out of something that you don't need [like a water-cooler rental agreement].
Laundry supplies: quarters, soap, and most importantly a good hiding spot for your quarters to prevent your quarters from wandering off on your roommate's wash day.
You need cleaning supplies, an extra shower curtrain or two, a mop, sponges for the dishes, some of those 1000 flushes things and that 'clean shower' spray-- basically anything that makes it easier on you when you need to clean up.
Then, get a good book shelf and desk. Maybe you don't study at a desk at home, but when you get to college you're gunna have a lot more papers to deal with, a lot more stuff to file and organize and it really helps to have a central place rather than under the bed to put everything. Also, you will amass a nice collection of books, because the bookstore never seems to want to give you more than $10 for that intro to psych. book and it would be a shame to sell it back and it will be useful someday right?
Not a material item, but something very important to consider: If you are picking a roommate from your home town, you should ask yourself "what does their room look like"? Does it look about as clean as yours? Do they do any chores at their house? Because more often than not, if their room is a shitpile at their parent's house, it will be twice a shitpile at their new dorm/apartment, so you should be prepared --unless you also like to live in less than sparkling conditions.
The single most important thing is earplugs. Enough for you and your roomate. Some people don't fall asleep too easily, and this really helps.
Adam
I went to college two decades ago (so am definitely in the "un-hip" category) and don't know either.
I do know that google yields exactly zero hits on the word - a suspiciously low number :-)
Include a bartending manual with a large database of mixed drinks. I found that if I was doing the drink mixing, I had a much lower tendency to drink past the puking threshold and then people felt they owed ME a favor for enhancing the party.
Seriously, get the good stuff. I wouldn't trust lousy American condoms for anything--especially since I recall two condom-breakage incidents back when I was a teenager.
t hem-as-bath-toys tests confirmed that Kimono MicroThins are *a lot* stronger than the Trojans and Lifestyles I tried. Several of the higher-class escorts (call-girls) I know swear by them. And since they're thinner, they conduct heat and sensation better too. I order mine here:
d om s/kimono_microthin.html?L+csense+TBEB7864
e s/ eros.html?L+csense+TBEB7864+1022724296
e s/ gsw_lubesamp.html?L+csense+TBEB7864
:-)
For the good stuff, get Kimono brand condoms, from Japan. They're made to European and Japanese standards as well as American FDA standards. I use the Kimono MicroThins, which are thinner but stronger than standard condoms because they're made of a higher-grade of latex and are at the right thickness (thinness?) to have a lot more give and stretchiness before breakage. My unscientific fill-a-bunch-of-condom-brands-with-water-and-use-
http://www.condoms.net/cgi-bin/SoftCart.cgi/con
Another good addition to a going-to-college kit would be body lubricant. Astroglide is probably the most frequently used lubricant on adult film sets. However, if you've got the money to burn, Eros from Europe is a better lubricant, based on silicone compounds instead of glycerine--making it expensive. But a drop of silicone-based lube won't dry out:
http://www.condoms.net/cgi-bin/SoftCart.cgi/lub
Or, there's a cheap sampler which includes small tubes of Eros and some flavored lubes:
http://www.condoms.net/cgi-bin/SoftCart.cgi/lub
And no, I'm not trying to pimp for that online store--it's just where I happen to buy all my condoms and lubricants. Better quality, plus no more embarrassment from walking up to a 16 year old counter clerk with a big bottle of lubricant and a jumbo pack of raingear.
Chasing Amy
(We all chase Amy...)
"The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws"-Tacitus
a long distance "Phone Home" plan; an auto-club membership, or perhaps, a personalized "Slim Jim"
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to differ with your statement that "Theatre Majors are the epitome of laziness." I think, as in any major, you get those who are dedicated and those who are slackers. Granted, perhaps a few more slackers end up in the theatre area because it's more subjective and there are fewer rigorous homework deadlines than in, say, Astrophysics.
From personal experience I and many of my friends have worked our asses off in our university's Theatre department. And that's what one has to be willing to do if one has a strong desire to be an artist professionally. The ones who slacked off will inevitably be waiting tables, while the hard workers at least have a fighting chance.
Other than that, you give pretty good advice. ;-)
-Wombat,Michigan State class of 2002, BA Theatre, BS Astrophysics.
Examples of hardwork:
Lighting Design Portfolio
Acting Resume
and Your Mom(Improv Comedy)
all college kids need a bottle of KY Jelly as they learn to take and give it in the poop shoot cheep beer is good along with shrooms and pot and lots of cigarettes and pizza
Ave Molech Setting
a gun if the campus allows it(if she's in a dorm)... if not, some pepper spray or something for the grabby frat boy.
If anyone has a problem with any of these books, bugger off.
Be careful giving friends children wild stuff, parents get all fired up and nasty when protecting their brood.
Gods I hate that word count filter and it's damn averages. I don't really have anything else to say but I have to get the world count ratio up so I can post this...
FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD
~~ What's stopping you?
To go along with the UV ink, a UV flashlight. Also, some good earplugs. Those are $10 and good enough that you can really enjoy loud music without going deaf -- they are not like the crappy foam ones.
Get her a phone dialer and soldering gun, available at most Radio Shacks. Then, look around for modification "hints," get the requisite parts from an electronic supply house, and "accidentally" leave the instructions in the package.
It's the gift that keeps on giving, and technically, it's legal.
In the letter of the law, anyway, if not the spirit.
The only surefire protection against Microsoft infections is abstinence. - The Onion
A Gerber Multi-Lock, Leatherman, or any of the standard "multitool" devices can suffice for most of what you'll need in a dorm room. I had a couple of smaller individual screwdrivers that "walked off," but I still have my multitool.
Add a small hammer, and possibly a small "keyhole" saw - it'll come in handy when you need to cut a piece of wood down to fit into the loft your roommate wants to build, and can also be used to cut a chunk of drywall to patch that hole that your drunk friend left with his forehead...
Specialization is for insects. - R.A.H.
Noam Chomsky is not complete without the works of Erich von Daniken as a companion set, just so she can see that crackpots write in a variety of styles.
I recently read the book Make the Most of your Mind by Tony Buzan, and I really, really wish that someone had given it to me before I went to college. It would have made my study life so much less painful.
Dude, you never locked yourself out of your room by accident? I have a neighbour that does it on a monthly basis...
Install windows on my workstation? You crazy? Got any idea how much I paid for the damn thing?
"What kinds of things did you wish you had, but couldn't get, in college"
SEX
It's for the chastity belt.
funny munging
I have to agree that a PDA would be a great choice. I bought one last semester and I truly believe it is the one most useful thing I have ever purchased. It has almost totally replaced my paper notebook (with the exception of Calculus notes), and it has literally saved me around 200 to 300 sheets of paper this semester. I would also recommend a small, collapsible keyboard. In my Physics lecture, three of us had PDAs with keyboards and we typed all of our notes. The major plus to this is that if one of us ever missed lecture we could just beam that days notes to each other without the hassle of having to photo copy or (ye gods forbid) hand copy someone else's notes.
Another good thing is that most PDAs are now small enough to stick in your pocket and take with you without it getting in the way. So you've got your notes with you if get stuck away from the dorm/house/apartment. Plus, there are a lot of people who are willing to pay for well-taken, printed copies of notes. That way you'd get a little pocket change to supplement your "Feed A College Student Fund".
PDAs are getting pretty cheep and compact now. I truly think that'd be the best (and most useful) thing to get. I'm not sure I could go back to taking note on paper.... Just be sure to get a keyboard too, because prolonged exposure to Graffiti can be a pain (quite literally).
/*SCSI-Wan*/
The almighty buck. Cashola Benjamins Greenbacks, Dough, and the appripraite currency for that region of the space/time continuim. -- lots of it.
CHANGE. Quarters. All quarters, lots of them ( none of the other coins), and some kind of change rack to put them all in. College vending machines, phones, toiletry dispensers, etc all need quarters and the changers won't take 95% of the dollar bills out there. Also handy for making decisions about true/false tests.
A phone card. Even if you use your quarters in the payphone, a card will be handy for calling home from anywhere else. And when you use a card in a payphone the phone won't keep begging for more money while you converse. Or a cell phone if you're willing to pay the monthly bill.
Some kind of grill or hotplate. The smaller George Foreman is highly recommended, but you can't cook everything on one. Can't cook eggs on a Foreman grill, for example. But it's better (and cheaper) than having cafeteria or vending machine slop for every meal.
Also a mini-fridge if your budget is a bit bigger and the dorm has room for it. She can always use the thing as a chair if the space is tight.
Gift certificates. This is a great one my Grandma did for me, not knowing how beneficial it was/is. Find out what resturaunts are near the school and get her freebies for all of them. Fast food - Hardees, McDumbass, Steak N Shake, Burger King, Pizza Palace, IHOP... (Love the IHOP - four hours of class and then have breakfast at 11:30.) These are good for every gift-giving season, send her a box of them at birthday and Christmas. Some movie theaters also sell gift certificates, might want to check that out as well.
And if she's attending school anywhere in the Southeast, give her my e-mail... I have school connections / tips and I'm always willing to treat a girl to dinner or a movie with absolutely nothing else expected in return. *smile*
== Paul Rickard, Editor of The Microsoft Boycott Campaign ====
Good comment. School is for learning. The most subversive thing one can do is learn and learn well. And to break free of / become intellectually and socially equal to those of us in the older generations.
I've always held that the best time to go to college is right after you graduate and realize what you just missed in the past 4 years.
In most states, it IS legal to own lockpicks. They only become burglary tools if used in the comission of a crime.. just like a crowbar.
Also, in many states, locksmithin is not a 'registered' profession. You don't need a license to be a locksmith in many places. Locksmith is also not clearly defined in many statutes.
A need can be "I like the ability to open locks if I lose my keys"
I'm in college now, and the thing I realy wish I had is a Kegerator. It's a mini-fridge just big enough to hold a keg on the inside, with some kind of gas that keeps the keg pressurized so you never have to pump it. It also has a tap on the top, so you always have frosty beer!
Mike
For once Altavista actually beat Google. Vaginal contraceptive inserts.
I can't believe I bothered to do a search for that.
whoa, the /. community had the opportunity to use condoms in college?!?
------
[insert funny
A girlfriend.
On that note, how about a vga box? Basically converts composite NTSC on RCA format plug to analog VGA. Has HD15 input cable, HD15 output jack, and RCA jack. Turns her computer monitor into a video monitor.
Don't forget to tune in next week, when Andy and GuyMann team up to abolish Christmas!
Why not give her me? I'm single and I'm cuddly.
AllTheWeb saves the day. Semicid is a vaginal contraceptive that's chalk full of Nonoxynol-9 to kill all those little swimmers dead. It's been around since 1973, so it shoulda been around when you went to college.
Rubberband gun :)
Rubberbands!
Water baloons
Glow-in-the-dark paint, etc.
Some sticker-paper for ad-hoc activism/PR/Invitations
Some nasty-looking weaponry (nunchaku, swords) in case some guy in her room tries to get fresh
Permanent markers - the BIG ones!
Wireless camera to spy on the boy's locker rooms!
A waterproof stereo so's she can listen to tunes in the shower
A potato cannon
Flint + Matches + lighter
A thick leather pelt for scaling barb-wire fencing!
Night vision goggles
Paintball gun
Nintendo/PS2/Dreamcast
A strobe light
A clapper for her lights (clap-on-clap-off)
Good virus software
Good, free webmail account like hushmail or cyber-rights.net
Star office on her computer
Some file-sharing apps
A digital camera is nice for sharing photos w/friends
Parachute cord (multiple uses)
Duct tape
Blue-wall-stick stuff
Some webspace so's she can put up some pics of her friends and stuff for the family
An electric blanket is nice to have
A good strong bike lock!
A grapnelling (sp) hook
One of those new BMW longboards for getting around campus!
a subscription to the Journal of Lower Genital Tract Diseases
seriously, in one study, over 80% of sexually active women in college tested postive for the human papilloma virus, AKA genital warts. condoms protect you from those viruses about 50% of the time
Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Assuming that the new student is moving in to the dorms, get them packet sniffer software for their (network equipped) PC. That way they can have all sorts of fun with their new neighbors! The number of fun scenarios are practically endless when you share an Ethernet with the people you live with!
Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds. --George Santayana
1) Curiosity
:)
2) A desire to learn
3) A good work ethic
Oh wait, those aren't allowed in college!
Curiosity - Universities won't let you find out what's in those steam tunnels.
A desire to learn - Universities won't let you ask other students how they approached the problem.
A good work ethic - Too many parties, too little time.
Well, our doors didn't lock unless you locked them from the outside, deadbolt style. The only way you could lock yourself out was if you were gone without your keys when your roommate locked the door. If you are smart enough to use a lock pick set, wouldn't you be smart enough to:
- Carry your keys on you
- Ask the RA, front desk, office, whoever has the spare key to open it
- Make a duplicate key just to keep in your wallet/purse.
I never had a problem in college, but then again, I didn't spend every weekend praying to the porcelain
gods completely drunk.
...is also great for (free) long distance for cell phones. And last I checked, they had unlimited night (after 9 PM) and weekend minutes. This might have changed since I got my phone, though.
"I haven't lost my mind -- it's just backed up on tape somewhere."
Practically anything from the above website - all sorts of neat toys!
The real question is why the heck do you want to give this kid "Subservie" gifts? Just give cash and they'll do what they want with it.
The best kollege gift I've ever seen is a box of spices (all the biggies) and a bunch of notecards with recipies. Spices go a LONG way in help self made food taste better.
A Leatherman super-tool.
A decent toolset, with at least a #2 philips, a very small, a medium, and a very large standard, a good carpenter's hammer, a set of wrenches (crescent wrenches suck) in metric and english, pliers, vice grips, and wire strippers. The leatherman's too uncomfortable for big jobs, and the most subversive thing you can do is be able to build things. Don't neglect a decent toolbox either, something that will slide under a bed.
Screw the LED flashlight. Maglite. The 5 D-Cell version, but only if you can't find the 6. Gets you back from late classes in the dark safely, doubles as a death machine. It's big, it's heavy, and it's durable. And it has an extra bulb in the base. Belt carrying clip so it'll go on a backpack strap.
Batteries, for the flashlight and for everything else.
A decent wireless access point and a good working knowledge of snort would be good. That's more of a time investment than anything else though. Think of it as a digital lockpick, if you will.
Recommended reading...well, if she's not read Stranger in a Strange Land, Starship Troopers, Anthem, and The Forever War, she probably should. There's probably more than those, but they'd be the top of my list.
Condoms and "self satisfaction products" would probably be appreciated if presented discreetly.
I just moved out for summer, but here's a list of items I find I can't go without:
1. Leatherman - Other posters have mentioned them, but it's worth it's weight in gold. Pliers, philips/flat screwdriver, sharp knife blade, scissors...all in one place, it's great. I couldn't live without mine.
2. Multi-head screwdriver - you know, the kind with both philips/flat that each reverse with a large and small head. It's great for when the screws too big for the leatherman.
3. A book called "Help, my Apartment has a kitchen!" My copy isn't on hand (it's still in a box), but it has ~50 meals that can be made in around 30 mins, with minimal ingrediants. I use it constantly. Much better than Ramen all the time.
4. If her dorm has a kitchen, get 1 medium sized pot, a skillet, a cheap cutting board, and a pasta strainer, and a sharp kitchen utiliy knife. For use with #3. This was first on my list from WalMart when I started this past fall. It saves sooo much money cooking your own food.
5. WalMart Gift Card - 25$,50$,etc. It's whatever she needs it to be. Food, dishware, whatever. I used mine for food all the time. It's the BEST gift I ever got for school.
6. Calling Card - As others have said.
Hope this helps.
"liberty and justice for all those who can afford it"
You said "legal only" but I thought that possession of a lock-picking kit is not legal in some places?
-- http://www.MarkWelch.com/ Pleasanton California
A punch block tool and a linemans test set.... very handy if you need dial tone for "emergency" calls
Moral of the story: all depends on how much you want to spend...
Not to be a snit, but how in the world was any of this offtopic? All of these are (a) subversive, (b) college, and (c) gifts. You don't get more on-topic.
Get her a mini GPS implant then you can track her and make sure she's safe. I hear the US government is considering them for use in credit cards :P
Yeah, I know that they can take the fun out of some things.. But they also keep you out of a lot of trouble..
and a good guide to keeping away from a55h0135..
I have already included a lockpick set, a UVmarking pen, and an LED flashlight in her care package. What else? Legal items only, please.
Umm, lockpick tools are illegal virtually everywhere. Why not give her a nice "RealFlesh" Anal Intruder Kit instead? Bet that'll open up some doors for her!
This poster's name secretly replaced with Folgers Crystal Meth
Careful buddy, you gotta make sure she has the upper hand: when the DEA finds out about her love drug operation and busts in to her dorm (breaking and entering, assault with a deadly weapon, home invasion,...) and siezes her MDMA and any liquid assets (theft...), and throws her in prison (kidnapping...) make sure she can properly defend herself. I would recommend a few .50 caliber machine guns mounted on turrets near her dorm, an RPG, plenty of Kevlar and a few sets of night goggles. Throw in a nice 9mm submachine gun (H&K MP-5K) for indoor action and some quality training in automatic weapon handling. Make sure her instructor believes in the power of head shots.
Seriously, we already have over a million people in jail for drugs [usa--#1], plenty of innocent people shot dead in raids, and a virtual police state created by seizure money. This War on (Some) Drugs will go on forever unless we stop acting like victims. Would you tolerate the jackboots raiding your home to seize your beer?
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
Not being a native speaker - what is "quarters". My dictionary is not very helpfull on this...
And a crash course on using them.
JA
http://www.johnalex.org/
UVmarking pen, and an LED flashlight in her care package.
In order for the UV marker to be really effective, add an Ultraviolet microlight. Together they can be very effective against, um... misplaced items.
Stop worrying about the risks of nuclear power and start worrying about the risks of not using nuclear power.
An ex-girlfriend of mine told me she was very popular on the first day in the dorms because she brought a hammer. Everybody wanted to put up pictures, shelves, etc. A small, basic, but complete tool box might well be a godsend. I'd go with a Leatherman, a nailing hammer, a rubber mallet, and one roll each of duct and electrical tape.
A lockpick set is overkill. Probably all she needs is a Slim Jim... the car-door-opening kind, not the imitation-beef-jerky kind.
And hey! if you really want to be subversive, get her a pair of fur-lined handcuffs!
larry
Perferably gold-plated ones like the ones Nic Cage had in Face\Off.
Nothing says "I refuse to be a rape victim" like dual 45's!
Hollow words will burn and hollow men will burn.
A decent pool cue can cost about $125 - get a two-piece cue with a metal joint, nothing fancy, and a simple case.
Then get her Byron's Book of (on?) Billiards and Pool. A great book to describe how to play the game.
Guaranteed to help any college student wonder whether the main purpose of college is studying.
-Peter
We _were_, we did all sorts of strange things. I remember carpetting the tops of the two fridges in the kitchen so we had somewhere else to sit, the bar parasol perched over an indoor staircase or making an emergency washing line in the lounge using estate agent signs.
;-) So, he had various cool gadgets, such as a then-rare plasma ball and a smoke machine.
:-)
The one that springs to mind in particular, though, was Mike's. Lovely guy but sadly into the dance music
One time he was just sitting in his room, filling it with smoke, chilling out to some music. This room's at the back of the house so no-one can really see it.
Except that the front bedroom is opposite this room and has an open door and window. Now, this smoke's pretty thin and clear, so not a problem. Until someone comes up the stairs, because there was a comedy red light bulb halfway up the stairs. So, as they turned this on, a faint red glow was visible and people started to notice this thin smoke coming out of the window...
Neigbours called round
Greg
(Inside a nuclear plant)
Aaaarrrggh! Run! The canary has mutated!
For those of you on the other side of the water (I'm English), I have no personal knowledge of how your system works, but over here, university(read: college) is about a) learning all about the subject you thought was going to pay your way through life (hahaha, physics and japanese, loads of jobs there) and b) getting over the feeling of being a kid. You know what I'm talking about, getting home at a reasonable hour, sleeping in a bed you recognise, sleeping in a bed at all, eating real food etc.
Give the girl some cash. She'll misuse it, but she'll always think well of you for the gift.
Warning: May contain nuts
Not that she won't have enough to read already, but send her a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves . Part sex education, part woman education. All women should read this book. Heck, all men should read this book.
If you want subversive, this is it, by the way. Women get the short end of the stick in both sex ed and medical attention. This book fills in the gaps. Think of it as an owners manual for womanhood.
Some people have a way with words, and some people, um, thingy.
The X10 pervert cam of course!
Useful for self protection, illumination, intimidation, and wet weather situations. Nothing beats a good 5 cell Maglite when delivering pizza at night. The Leatherman supertool is also indespensible.
condoms condoms condoms
She most likely won't need the drug parafanalia, but the condoms are essential. A good book on mixing drinks might be nice though.
are the best. awesome. get 'em at goodvibes.com
comeon it is the new in way of getting a test cancelled.
I saw someone suggested a vibrator, but why not spend the extra $3000 and get her a guy version of the real doll.
If you really want to be subversive program her a peer to peer client to distribute to other friends, thus pissing the RIAA off;)
I wanted a few things
A tool set with my name on all of the tools
Surprisingly enough I wanted a lockpick set w/ slim jim
Headphones
Good rain gear for walking to the cafeteria
Stupid cliche college things like lava lamps
Quarters
One or two nifty expensive things that seem completely out of place in a college dorm but I have them anyway (though I didn't have any..)
oh yeah, and female companionship of the more intiment sort...
Anyway, I liked being the guy that could get people into thier rooms when they were locked out. I liked being the guy that could unlock cars when people lock their keys in there. I liked being the guy with the tools needed to make bunk beds and fix my friends cars.
That's the advice my dad gave me when he dropped me off at college. It's clear, consise, and still rings true years after graduation. He said his father gave him the same advice when he was dropped off on his first day of college. I'm sure I'll be giving my children the same advice when they go away to school, but first I have to make some kids.
The ever-necessary dorm room accent - an 8-foot high poster of Bob Dobbs!
a double-sided DILDO! ahahahah!
If you haven't explored your campus's steam tunnels, then you shouldn't consider your college experience complete.
From alt.college.tunnels: useful campus tunnel info. (Watch out for the pop-up ads.)
:wq
Sure they're great fun, until someone loses an eye. Lock picks are actually illegal to have in some states, iirc, unless you are a registered/certified locksmith. Also, it's illegal to ship them across state lines a lot of times. Just be careful ;-).
The Right Reverend K. Reid Wightman,
Ok ...
... which some will not like, and whoever dislikes this will have an incentive to report her to whoever does have the authority. And rest assured that there will be trouble then. When somebody gets robbed, she'll immediately be under suspicion.
... alt.locksmithing is good ... and the local bookstores and figured out generally how most locks work, how to make my own lock picks and most importantly how to use them. A pick doesn't open locks any more than a piano plays Mozart. When you practice, a lock will fall open in 5 seconds guaranteed, if you don't, you can spend half an hour and not get anywhere. I know both ends of the scale. If she's not interested enough to know how to pick locks without the snazzy professional pick set, she probably won't be motivated enough to practice.
A lot of people are going on about how possession of picks is illegal in many places. Yes, but the problem will actually start a lot sooner with her friends who will ask her to open some door, or "borrow" the picks for themselves.
Now say, for example, if she's going to be living in a dorm, regardless of how popular she is, someone is not going to be comfortable with the fact that their room is no longer secure. Basically, their view will be that she has power without authority and that they are forced into a position of trust.
The other issue is if there's any payback. 10 years ago I searched the net
In other words, at best they may only be useless to her. At worst, she'll have problems with her friends, aquaintences, accomodations, and get a criminal record to top it all off.
I hope it doesn't happen.
Even /.ers got laid in college!
Sapere Aude - Homer
As someone which never set foot in the American continent, I find this thread quite interesting.
Duct tape was mentionend in many posts; whats so special about this for a student? Isn't those things can be bought quite cheaply? (Even on a students allowance)
Leatherman® Juice Tool
Fun new midsized multitool has a contoured grip to fit comfortably in your hand. Includes pliers, wire cutters and four screwdrivers, micro serrated scissors, a blade, and can and bottle openers. Handle is anodized aluminum so the color will last year after year. 31/4"L closed. USA.
The Sophmore gave me a big hug when I got her one for her birthday this winter.
It is illegal if the lockpick is called deCSS.
keep her off the streets and all those godamn fratboys.
While many girls appreciate these gifts, it's derned close to that "my husband bought me a romantic clothes washer for our anniversary," or even, "my boyfriend changed the oil in my car for Valentine's day," or also, "My neighbor bought me a waffle iron for Christmas."
While we dudes appreciate a fine tool, it's not Chick stuff. The clothes washer and the waffle iron come with the implication, "MAKE USE OF THAT FINE APPLIANCE FOR ME RIGHT NOW YOU LAZY WOMAN. I HAVE A GAME TO WATCH. ONLY SUMMON ME IF THERE IS A FIRE OR SEX."
The lock pick set will be forgotten in the back of a drawer. The fine flashlight will be stolen at the first Rave.
Give the girl cash. Best gift. Accepted in 200+ countries and on 7 continents. No ID needed. Don't leave home without it.
Money.
It's what every college student wants, and what 99.999% do not have. Dispense it over the length of the two semesters and your college-bound student will be thrilled.
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
So much to be had from the proper use of things like bottle rockets!
:)
I'd rather be flying
What exactly is subversive about that?
I spent, and watched my friends spend, the first eighteen years of their lives defining what sort of a person they were. And then most of them dropped their identity as soon as they walked in the dorm and acted like everyone else, or at least how they expected everyone else to act. So many people get to college and because of the parental warnings, the movies, the jokes see it as a big kegparty and they work to act this out (to the point that my roommate is right now playing beirut on friggan Yahoo! games).
You should send a description of what kind of a person she seems to have become at this point, so that when the pressure comes down and she begins to falter she might stumble upon it and realize who she's leaving behind.
Actually, it was even more bizarre than that. The way the law was stated, the offense was for the driver of a motor vehicle to be observed to take a drink from an open alcoholic beverage. IE, you can be driving down the road, drinking, and not only can you not be arrested, you've done nothing wrong, unless a cop actually SEES you take a drink.
Since then, the law has been modified, and Texas now has a boring open container law like pretty much every other state in the union.
Sorry, but I hear the major Credit Card Companies already have the corner on subversive gifts to college students.
You need a FREE iPod Nano
Okay, possibly not the most subversive, but a properly stocked, compact first-aid kit she can dump in the bottom of here bag may just be the best thing to have.
And she might even then sign-up for a first-aid class to learn to use the thing...
Vs lbh pna ernq guvf, ybt bss abj. Tb bhgfvqr. Syl n xvgr.
Brita Water Filter (school water sucked, plus H20 is a must for recovering from hangovers)
A bong, err... water filtration device.
A whole shitload of those day-after pills...
Hope that Helps!
Loser.
So things were tougher in your day. Things nearly always were. But that's the kind of logic that would have us all living in caves and avoiding fire because raw meat was good enough for our grand-daddies. I'm at university, and you know what? My PDA is really useful, so screw you. It's not necessary, but neither was your 386. It just makes life easier, and probably better. By taking care of the simple things for her, she'll be able to concentrate on her *real* goals: aceing her degree, but more importantly running up huge debts, going to raves, and spending hours wasting time with her friends. Because university (or college) is what turns you into the person you will be for the rest of your life, and if you have to spend it busting your ass just to afford food, then it turns you into what, apparently, you are: a hard-ass with no sense of fun. I'd rather be the mollycoddled, whiny brat, if it's all the same to you.
And in case you're wondering, I don't scrounge off my parents. I paid for my £2000 computer myself, with money I earned working 9-5, and the same goes for most of the rest of the stuff that I own.
After finishing my first year at college, I have come to know and love the following items:
$10 in Quarters - I know they don't go as far as they used to, but that will get me through 8 loads of laundry, two months for women and almost a semester for guys (unless you keep meeting that HOT chick at the laundromat!) Don't forget they also save you in a pinch for those late-night snack cravings, parking meters, and condom dispensers. Which brings me to...
Condoms - Honestly, you never know when or where it might happen, but I've had moments where the only reason I didn't get laid was because I lacked the latex. Seriously, if you don't have as much self-control as I did, get a 3 or 6 pack. Speaking of 6 packs...
Red Bull - This little wonder has saved my ass so many frickin' times, it's unbelievable! Whether you need to pull an all-nighter or finish a last minute paper, just pop open some of that 'Liquid Schwartz' and you'll be on your feet in no time. Get them a 6 pack as well, because you never expect an emergency. Along with emergencies...
Obligatory Posters - Every college student is required by law to a poster depicting beer, drugs, sex, The Simpsons, guitar tabs, and/or that Maxell guy being blown away by his speakers. Movie posters are as must as well. While we're on the subject of pirated material...
CD-R's - It doesn't matter if you have a CD burner or not, someone else will. Combine that with the fact that every dorm room in America has ethernet jacks, you're bound to either find the perfect mix for your car or simply run out of hard drive space. You're bound to run into a situation where a CD-R will be required on the spot, I guarantee it. And lastly to broadcast these situations, you'll need a...
Web Cam - They're cheap, subversive, and a helluva lot of fun when you're drunk. 'Nuff said.
That's about all I can think of for subversive, legal gifts. Other non-subversive but greatly needed gifts include things like a personal fan, duct tape, tape (memo) recorder, cordless phone, sandals, wall clock, and AA batteries. Also, the new 'in' thing to have is a George Foreman Lean Mean Grilling Machine, but for now I'll stick with my Mini-Me Microwave.
-Mr. Fusion
If she'll be driving to school, jumper cables (with instructions) and a Slim Jim or other car unlocking device will be good. A lot of people lock themselves out of their cars or leave the lights on and I'll admit I've done both countless times. She'll be popular on her floor if she knows how to use them and is willing to help people out.
Or instead, get her a AAA or Amoco Motor Club membership and they'll do those things for her for free plus throw in things like changing tires and bringing you gas if you run out. Memberships are pretty cheap, but invaluable if you have an emergency. Tow trucks come a lot faster if they motor club calls them. My parents got me a membership when I left home and I used it a lot but probably wouldn't have gotten it for myself.
Most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do.
a card that says, "the bearer of this card is entitled to one good job upon graduation, just like the one's you will be falsely promised throughout your education."
Pop/candy/$ITEM vending machines, washer/dryer in laundry, access to RA's room to utilize UV pen, etc.
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
When I was in the army, having a set of bolt-cutters was very handy! Great way to score free beer and a few dollars when people lost the keys or combo to their wall-lockers.
I imagine they would have great uses at college too!
She can set it on the classroom table instead of taking notes, and just listen to the lectures. She should watch it at night and transcribe what's useful. One or two tapes should go a long way.
Furthermore, she can use it to blackmail her dorm mates whenever they come home blitzed.
Oh yeah, and after reading a lot of slashdot, she should also pin a card to her shirt explaining the difference between "its" and "it's". Here, let me write it out for you:
It's = it is
Its = possessive form of it.
e.g.,
"It's raining outside"
NOT
"I fucked it up it's ass"
A large number of slashdot readers and editors need to study this before they go to their next job interview or write their next term paper.
Despite the fact that practically nobody uses these for snuff, they are, in fact, legal.
http://www.stripper-faq.org/
Give her a table showing how much she will owe if she finishes quickly vs. slowly.
Be sure to include interest rates, ugly mugshots of bank managers, bank lines, recordings of useless bank 'student help' numbers...
And last but not least...
How many years it will take to pay off said loan working in that minimum wage job with her women's studies/latin/misc. arts degree...
My freshman year i ate these things just about everyday. A hotpot is also nice. Its a small pot usally plastic that you can plug in to the wall to boil water. Good for ramen and coffee.
...get her coupons to Taco Bell, Wattaburger, Subways, whatever...If this is the first time on her own she WILL forget to buy food.
I'm not as bad as I used to be but even now I still do sometimes..I hate it when it's nearing the end of the month, I'm broke, 5 days till my next check and I have to eat white bread for lunch breakfast and dinner.
A SAMS card can also be really helpful in this case..or a Grocery store gift card (Best gift mom ever sent me).
Anything that she can use to exchange for food will be helpful.
It makes a quick way of forging a signature
1. Peace and quiet. Get her noise reduction headphones (pick a brand).
2. Incense. She'll figure out what it's for.
3. A new car. I had a 1968 VW Minibus (yeah, they're cool now, but we're talking 1976). Oh, it also had an 8-Track. Of course, I learned how to fix brakes on it, but that wasn't fun.
4. Washer and dryer. Forget quarters. Who needs 'em? She can then charge her friends to use it and pay you back (yeah, right!).
5. A maid.
7. The ability to control time and space. Still need it, in fact. Only feasible on very, very, small scales...
8. There is no number six.
IANAL, but I've seen actors play them on TV
How about a nice 2 or 4-yr subscription to 2600? I never could afford it in college, since I needed to save up for beer and such. Only got it when i purchased the books, if one was on the stands at that time.
In Vino Veritas
a toolbox is good, though a decent multitool (Leatherman, gerber etc... not a cheapo one that breaks) can save the day.
earplugs are good too.... if she can sleep through the noise, i bet she knows someone who can't and can get use of them... college kids always like food. can't go wrong with local food. when my brother was at school we sent him Tastykakes. it wasn't a homesick thing, it's just a Philly thing. most college food sucks, so anything good is valid... anything they can't get at their school from the hometown has to be a bonus. i never did figure out how to ship him waterice......
people really get attached to food i think.... i literally just dropped my brother off at the train.. he was in town for about 5 hours and in that time he had a cheesesteak, waterice and some soft pretzels. i think he threw some tastykakes in his bag too. (no, he's not chubby either)
I graduated from UCSB about a year ago. Here are the things I found absolutely invaluable: :)
+PDA - I never could have remembered all those damned assignments, special meetings, and so forth, not to mention the contact information for professors, staff, and friends (which seemed to change every month).
+Little Screwdrivers - I had a set of Jewelry screwdrivers which were *really* helpful. (I almost picked my bedroom door lock with just those!) Of course, hammers, wrenches, and pliers are also needed.
+Lock Picks - As mentioned, I tried to pick my lock using jewelry screwdrivers. A lock pick set would have been nice. Although it was mostly to satisfy my urban exploration cravings.
Aye, but not if she's going to be in Texas, where Vibrators are banned.
The only thing you can accurately describe as "Scotch" is a sticky tape made by 3M. And it's
I bet you were really popular with the ladies...
Am i right?
Enjoy your job, make lots of money, work within the law. Choose any two.
I can say the following things come in handy:
-A water bottle (yes, possible for toting around alcohol, but also saves you cash by filling it up with your favorite beverage at the taps at the dining hall (milk is not recommended for this, it never stays good)
-photon light (or similar) comes in handy from searching for shit under the bed to checking out those dark creepy areas outside at night
-blank CD-Rs are a must
-"stash cash" before leaving my dad handed me a $50 in case of emergency. I slid it into a little corner of my wallet and forgot about it. We went adventuring into the city one night and missed the last train. The $50 got us a taxi home. Thank god.
-A sprint cell phone. Coverage is decent in most urban areas, and free national long distance. Came in handy for calling home.
-Cases of Mountain Dew, Bawls, and Jolt for those "late nights/mornings"
-a good LOUD alarm clock. The whole floor may hate you, but you'll never be late for class dammit. One with two seperate alarms is nice. I set it to beep, and by the third snooze the radio came on full blast with the mexican music station.
-a small TV with a VCR built in. you'll be popular with everyone (kinda expensive, but someone said an iBook....gotta love "realistic answers")
-Minidisc player/recorder About the same cost as an MP3 player, USB to computer to record MP3s, discs are cheap and can hold up to 5 hours. With a rechargeable battery it's a sweet little thing for walking to class. Skip-proof too.
Viva La Revolucion! Buy a Mac!
Not all of these are subversive:
-If her dorm allows it, a window A/C unit.
-If it gets cold where she is going, a good space heater.
-A GOOD air filter with replacement filters
-A dehumidifier
-Something that will make a room smell good like a scented oil burner or Plugins
-Keychain bottle opener
-Membership to local gym
-Scanner for hours of cordless phone fun
-Universal Remote
-Multitool
-White noise device to cover dorm noise at night
What do you work as to be able to afford hi-fi in college? Gigollo? Looks like mommy and daddy send a check after all ...
A copy of the Young Lady's Illustrated Primer, maybe?
That daddy pays the bills? And if she wants the bills to keep on being paid she better find herself a sugar daddy?
You people take the cake. I can't believe the stuff you're suggesting! Hrmmff!
At most of the wildly left leaning schools here in the states, the most subversive thing you could get her is a subscription to the National Review, and an NRA membership.
More seriously, what you really need to give her is some form of emergency money that is a bit hard to cash out. I know that sounds stupid, but emergency money is useless if you already spent it on beer or twinkies. I used to keep a couple of small value winning scratch off lottery tickets in my car - I tended to mostly break even, and having a form of money that I could pretty much only spend at a gas station was a lifesaver more than once. Pre-paid phone cards are good for this too.
Oh, and that sticky putty stuff, that stuff rocked for putting stuff up on walls and such without messing up the surface and drawing a fine come the end of the semester.
You're just jealous 'cuz the voices talk to *me*
Most jurisdictions forbid the possession of lockpics by those other than licensed locksmiths and law enforcement.
Setting his threshold to 5, Sparky eliminated most of the trolls on /.
What's subversive about a PDA?
--Jim
Screw Astroglide, Eros, or any of that...
What you really need is J-Lube.
Check this stuff out; it's a powdered concentrate meant for veterinary use. (Turn your head and moo...)
One place selling it: http://www.jlube.net/
FAQ: http://www.anus.org/SEX/jlube.html
I haven't had the opportunity to play with it myself (if you think it's hard for a nerd to get laid, try being a perverted nerd...), but I know a number of people who swear by it..
Only one of which I was sent.
1. Vodka.
2. Wire cutters.
Wire cutters?
Yes. Get this - when you're in college, YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOUR FSCKING PARENTS EVERY GOD DAMNED WEEK.
Amazing. But, if she's going to college, she should know how to rip the phone out of the wall anyway, so just grab her a few bottles of Smirnoff.
Hah,
i thought the pen was for making those marks on your hands for getting into bars. Those things never look clear and always look like a glowing glob on your wrist. I guess you guys read too much slashdot...
Douglas Calvert
Here's something I learned after moving to a new town to start grad school: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CONDITION, GIVE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING ITEMS TO A NEW COLLEGE STUDENT YOU CARE ABOUT:
1) Nintendo GameCube
2) Sony PS/2
3) Nintendo N64
4) Sony PSOne
Don't worry about the XBox. Once they finish Halo, they put the XBox in the closet and forget about it.
In case you have even the tiniest bit of sympathy for people living within 1 city block of the new college student, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CONDITION, GIVE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING ITEMS TO A NEW COLLEGE STUDENT:
1) Stereo capable of driving floor-standing speakers
1) Power amplifier stereo
3) Extra fuses for stereo
3) CDs of animal noises and/or other sound effects
4) Kris-Kross CD ("pump it up, Kris!")
I think I better revisit my shrink now. That second set of memories is far too strong. The good news is that finding a Kris-Kross CD is probably very hard these days. At least, I really, really hope that is true. The farmyard noises weren't so bad, but the "jet aircraft landing" got old fast.
-Paul Komarek
2 Duct Tape, just cause I always seen to use it
3 Thermos or a Coffee Machine to get you through thos all nighters in the labs!!!
4 Veggies 'cause I never ate enuff of those while I was at uni!!!!
Giving a college student money is like feeding bears in the park. It might feel good to do it, and you may think that you're doing them a favor, but in fact, you're reducing their sense of independence and self-sufficiency, and eventually, they'll no longer be able to live on their own, and maybe they'll end up ransacking your campsite and killing you when they get hungry. College students SHOULD want money. That's why they're going to college, after all. To learn how to make it. If all college is is going to be for them is a fully financed sex and alcohol fest, then go ahead and give them all the money they want.
Instead, let them get a shit job waiting tables or washing dishes, if they want to buy themselves the latest Britney Spears CD or whatever. You can pay for their tuition, housing, books, and basic nutritional sustenance, but that should be it. What else do they need? Don't give them anything else. They'll survive. If you want to make a token gift showing your affection, then you can be like Humbert Humbert in Lolita, and send a box of candy. Part of being in college should be learning to live and make it on your own, without being pampered by your parents, and without any sugar daddy type characters. I don't know. That's my perception of the purpose of college. But I was in the engineering school. Maybe it's different for the business and liberal arts people. I mean, if Bill Gates had his mommy and daddy giving him all sorts of money so that he could party all the time, and buy the company of female companions, do you think he'd have been so concerned about making money of his own? I don't know, maybe he DID get money from his parents. I didn't watch Pirates of Silicon Valley, so I don't know. So, anyway, this friend's girl probably doesn't need any special crutches or assistance from anyone. In fact, one of the best lessons she could ever probably learn is that you can't count on anyone other than yourself to take care of you and get you what you need. But then again, maybe that's just an engineer's perception. Maybe business people think differently, like "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours." So maybe if you buy her all sorts of useful things, she'll remember you, and when she's rich and famous, she'll put you in a good retirement home. I don't know. I guess if I came from a rich and lavish family, and my kid didn't have to worry about actually making anything of himself, because they were just going to be rich, regardless, then I guess I'd want them to just have a good time in college, and I'd make sure that they had the equivalent of the "high roller suite" in dorm rooms, and that their little dorm refrigerators were fully stocked with caviar and the best wines, and they had the bestest, most impressive cars. So, I guess it all really "just depends."
There are a few things that I have noticed missing. Being a subversive female at a major engineering school in the Midwest I have a few ideas.
... I don't know a girl who doesn't have a bottle.
1) LUBE
2) Purple Hair Dye - I live by it.
3) Piercing supplies - Daddy will love it that new ring!
4) A pack of twenty lighters, and a couple of ash trays.
5) A bunch of gift cards and phone cards. Cash just gets deposited; gift cards hang around until they are needed.
6) If it is possible find a way to pre-pay for her to go on a trip with a friend. Nothing makes Dad and Mom happier than to find out that you took off to the other coast for a weekend.
7) Hang over pills.
8) Find a way to pay for birth control pills.
9) The ACLU makes these little cards that explain what your rights are under different situations (e.g. you have a party, cops knock on your door, minior in possesion, etc).
10) Mace (I know this has been said)
11) Be her saftey net... call before her parent's supprise visit.
-Kat
i got a free book on study skills from my undergraduate university on the day I enrolled, a couple of months before I started classes. Gave me time to read up on how it would be different from high school.
The watch is useful when you forget what time it is out on the lawn.
"The Joy of Sex"
...and my phone number
...don't forget the UV LED flashlight as well. They're real and they're out there. Spencer's has been carrying the single LED units for something like $8US in most locations. (They'll be behind the counter in most cases.). The light emitted is faintly violet and will strongly light up fluoresent materials up close. The link is to an agressive model with 3 LEDs, intended for professional use by jewelers and forensic scientists.
I am not merely a "consumer" or a "taxpayer". I am a Citizen of the State of Texas
A UPS. Preferably from APC.
I lost an entire box to shitty wiring. Most of my floor had components constantly frying, for no discernable reason.
I snagged a UPS. Surprise, my next box had no problems, while everyone else was still blowing cash replacing everything and anything.
Dorms tend to have shitty wiring, or at the least, shitty power regulation what with everyone plugging in their vibrators and such.
Been to a campus dorm lately? People spend a lot of time instant messaging from their computer. Who are they messaging? Usually other people on campus or their friends who are also sitting at a computer at a rival college. The days when the majority of students spent their free time outside their dorm rooms has mostly passed....
...you give her cash, and let her make up her own mind about what she needs.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Not bad, but I'd recommend an electric non stick wok. I had that during college, and I could make many different (pasta, steakum sandwiches, rice dishes, etc.) things right in my room. Teflon was easy to clean and it didn't take too much space.
Maybe they won't help her in a class. Maybe they'll just help her have fun and gain the kind of out-of-the-classroom experience that college is important for.
I own a hammer, which I keep in my room at school. I bought it so I could nail some Teflon skid pads onto the legs of my chair, but it turned out that it already had metal pads so I couldn't use the hammer for that purpose. To date, the only thing I've ever used this hammer for (in the year and a half since I bought it) was to go outside with some friends and smash up an old broken motherboard. It served no useful purpose whatsoever but it was a novel way to have fun with friends.
If I owned a set of lockpicks, I'd probably use it to open the wiring box that contains my building's Ethernet switch, and take a look around. This isn't harmful (it's not like I'd go pulling wires out) but I'm sure it'd lead to some sort of creative fun.
And if an "LED flashlight" is one of those little keychain things with a single button battery and LED, I love mine. I can carry it in my pocket and it doesn't get in the way and it's really useful in lots of random situations.
College is about more than classes. Classes are no more than 50% of the picture, really. (For some people, drinking makes up the other 50%, but I don't drink at all so I must say that that's not true in all cases.)
Hell Yeah. And before anybody goes off telling him that just because he had it hard it should be that way for everyone else. My parents help me pay for some shit, but for the most part I earn my keep, and, dammit, it just FEELS GOOD. So yeah, the food, or nothing, might actually be more help than some trinkets, especialy lockpicks and shit. Those will really help her out. ::snorts::
-Greg
BOOKS!!! Practical books!!!
And tools! Practical tools!
Books
"Cubicle Warfare" by Pardoe
"The Prince" by Niccolo Machiavelli
""Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun"
"Will" by G. Gordon Liddy
"Leadershiip Secrets of the Rogue Warrior" by Richard Marcinko
"How to Lie with Statistics"
The Compleat George Hayduke 'Revenge' series
Tools
Infrared/lowlight monocular
In-Plain-Sight Safes [hollow book, hollow can]
Motion-activated low-light camera and recorder
Shredder
Zip-Loc bags, duct tape, fishing line, lead fishing weights [for hiding things in water]
Nobody seems to have yet mentioned those little 2" blowtorches that attach to a keyring. I'm sure one of those would come in handy to someone with a subversive streak.
Some Lock Pick Laws for some states.
A gift card to WalMart. She can get whatever she needs there.
If you keep the number, and she keeps the same card, you can periodically go to WalMart and recharge it for her.
I'm going to download that mp3 right now!
Hollow words will burn and hollow men will burn.
Get her a Leatherman. Whether it's the micro or the super-tool, it has more useful stuff on it than anything you've already gotten her.
How about a contract that says she fails, she joins the Marines?
Every time her grades start to slip, Have a recruiter give her a call, and occasionally show up at a party she's attending.
Find out where the rich people hang out, get her to go there. Those contacts can be invaluable after college.
Lock picks are good, but be sure she knows how to keep her mouth shut. Legal or not, the school will impound them, and mark her record.
A book on spoofing IP would probably be good.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Go to a vet and get about 3 horse condoms, used for breeding.
Tell her to unpackage 1 when she moves in and nail it to the wall. When asked she can innocently say "That was from my last boyfriend. I sure do miss him".
When I first moved out into my own place I got a next day air package from my exhippie uncle. It had a Leatherman Wave (with the leather belt pouch) inside with hand written post-it saying, "This is your life line, don't lose it." I'll be damed if he wasn't right. So far its fixed cars (import and domistic) computers (mac and pc), Stereos (one Aiwa and a one old ass RCA Victrola) and opened more beers than some bar tenders.
PS. You don't need a lock pick set for B&A, That leatherman worked just fine for breaking into that fire station (long, very kinky story).
"You can see I know very little about pimp policy." George McGovern.
are usefully for students but probably forbidden in the US???
One of those electronic breathalizers.
If this collage is anything like my universities campus then you can get any movie or tv show in vcd / divx video format but getting it onto the TV in the common room is the real challenge. With one of this cards and a VCR you can convert to a format that can be understood by non tech type with the potential for some easy money to be made on the side.
it'd be whoring i think if they plugged thinkgeek. the post actually is sending business away. hardly whoring.
I tried "UV Marking Pen", "LED Flashlight", and "Lockpick" in Google sets, but it came up empty. I removed "UV Marking Pen". Here's what it came up with:
Lockpick
LED flashlight
Atomic Watches
Personal Alcohol Tester
Wireless Camera
Cell Phone Accessories
Atomic Watch
FaxPress
Moon filter 1
Celestron Sky Maps
6x30 finderscope
toy police car
propeller toy
smiley face bubbles
yoyo
super ball
logbook
2 AA batteries
Mechanics
LCD Products
Okay, so maybe it doesn't work that well.(but you will definately want to check out the Moon Filter and Personal Alcohol Tester)
I wish I had an account. Oh well. This book is awesome. Get it for her and she'll be a much happier person regardless of how much she enjoys the rest of college. =)
Whiteboard markers.
;)
Shower Sandals (warts are gross)
Thermal beer sleves
Tylenol, Nytol, Gravol, Pepto(Rez food is also gross)
*EAR PLUGS*
One of those protective tooth brush tubes
Bounce sheets
String of Xmas lights
Cammo Netting
Blow up chair
*CONDONMS* -- Sadly rez's seem to get the condom factory rejects! Myself and numerous other guys had breakage problems with RezRubbers (Lifestyles brand).
AFA the lockpick goes... dont. If her rez is anything like mine, she'll have a great time trying to figure out those $250 locks with the cylindrical 3" keys.
IMHO go for the hello kitty vibrator instead
Webcam was also alot of voyueristic fun for myself and others this year...
Oh... and finally give her advice! I found out the hard way that HS is a cakewalk compared to Uni
Goodluck!
the latest model of either one.
fully-loaded.
Extraordinary Vacations. Exceptional Prices
I'd say a face mask and a catsuit to go along with that lockpick set and flashlight, lol :)
(This is something I wrote a few years ago. Somewhat updated with new ordering info for the MIT books.)
h tml and the URL for "Is This The Way To Baker House?" is here http://mitpress.mit.edu/bookstore/nonpress/baker.h tml
Legends of Caltech and More Legends of Caltech. These two 80 page volumes chronicle technopranking at Caltech from the 1920s to the late 1980s. Learn about the classic Rose Bowl card section prank that was broadcast live on NBC, See the HOLLYWOOD sign become the CALTECH sign before your very eyes. Vicariously enjoy the revenge of Caltech students upon a greedy police department.
These books MUST be ordered from the Caltech bookstore, as they are privately published by the Caltech Alumni Association. Ordering info is at the bottom of this page.
Ah, but what of MIT? For their history we must turn to a pair of books.
The Journal of the Institute for Hacks, TomFoolery & Pranks at MIT. Published by the MIT Museum, this is a 158 page book with lots of photos and text concerning the hacks pulled by MIT men and women over the decades. See The Great Breast of Knowledge, The Great Pumpkin, the legendary Smoot Marks on the Harvard Bridge. Read about the chronic humiliation suffered by the inmates at Harvard as MIT has its way with the statue of John Harvard and the Harvard Stadium.
"Is This The Way To Baker House?" - A Compendium of Hacking Lore. 165 pages of legends, essays, photographs and stories of and about hacking at MIT. This book, published in 1996, continues where the Journal leaves off. The MIT Campus Police car on the Great Dome, arguably one the greatest hacks in MIT history, graces the cover and several inside pages. Regrettably, only black and white photographs are used in the body of the book, as there are several hacks, most notably, the Cathedral of Our Lady of The All Night Tool (The "stained glass" panels in Lobby 7) that really should be seen in full color. That minor gripe aside, this is a fine companion volume to The Journal and shares the same binding dimensions as The Journal, making them a handsome pair of books to grace the shelves of any creative malcontent. (The title refers to the canonical reply to an MIT Campus cop when one is discovered in a spectacularly inappropriate location, such as the apex of the Great Dome at 4:00AM.)
Our final book is published by St. Martin's Press and should still be available via any bookstore that will special order books for its customers.
If At All Possible, Involve A Cow - The Book Of College Pranks, is a 240 page history of collegiate pranking in America, beginning with the earliest colleges in America, and even taking note of some hijinx taking place in Canada.
This is an excellent companion volume to the preceeding four books, as it covers collegiate pranking in general, as well as detailing some events that are NOT covered in either the Caltech or MIT books.
If I were sending a son or daughter off to college, I would certainly include all five of these books in their "books to bring to school" box. Start 'em off right!
I have all five books and have enjoyed reading and re-reading them. I trust that these will be inspirational to all who enjoy a good hack and tweaking the nose of Authority, be it the State or the School.
Ordering information
Legends of Caltech is $9.00
More Legends of Caltech is $15.00
The mailing address of the Caltech Bookstore is:
Caltech Bookstore Mail Code 1-51 San Pasqual Street Pasadena CA 91125
The website http://www.cco.caltech.edu/~citbook/ for the Caltech Bookstore looks like you might be able to order these online.
The toll-free number for the Caltech bookstore is 800/514-2665. For those of you outside the US, their non-free number is 818/395-6161.
In my case, shipping was $6.00. Call to find out what your charges might be or to use a credit card.
(Neither Caltech book has an ISBN, so ordering via your local bookstore is not recommended and may very well be nigh-impossible.)
The Journal of The Institute for Hacks, TomFoolery & Pranks at MIT is $20.00 The ISBN is: 0-917027-03-5
"Is This The Way To Baker House?" - A Compendium of Hacking Lore is $20.00. The ISBN is: 0-917027-04-3
The MIT Press Bookstore
Kendall Square
292 Main Street Cambridge, MA 02142
617.253.5249
M-F 9am-7pm, Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 1pm-6pm
books@mit.edu
The URL for ordering The Journal of The Institute for Hacks, TomFoolery & Pranks at MIT is here http://mitpress.mit.edu/bookstore/nonpress/hacks.
As with the Caltech bookstore, the MIT Press website appears to support online ordering.
If At All Possible, Involve A Cow - The Book Of College Pranks
by Neil Steinberg
$9.95 St. Martin's Press ISBN 0-312-07810-2
This book is out of print. Try eBay, Amazon.com or search the remaindered book sites.
Guaranteed! This comment 100% Anthrax free!
Naked pictures of yourself...
1) juggling balls -- learning to juggle is a great way to get the blood moving when you need a break from the books. The beanbag style can double as hacky sacks.
2) frisbee -- sometimes by accident (wink, wink) they get thrown toward cute guys.
3) ukulele -- easy to play, and making your own music is so much better than listening to the same-old same-old on the radio.
- a vaporizer to preserver her lung capacity. It essentially heats up the cannabis to a high enough temparature to boil off all the THC, but not hot enough to burn out the carcinogens. That means no negative side effects besides the usual slight fogginess
- fake id
- a combonation locked box to hide all her contraband in. (invaluable in the dorms)
- condoms
- a good book on sex, it still amazes me how ignorant most people are about the most fun thing you can do, and especially college students. Multiple orgasms are the gifts that keep on giving.
- send her the link to the Lycaeum so that if she does decide to experiment with other drugs she is well informed of the effects and conscequences.
- a black light and a strobe light
- if she is a geek gal, all the o'reilly books you can get your hands on
- a computer locking kit to anchor her stuff to the desk so it won't be stolen. They are at most computer stores.
- incense + holder
- a big fucking subwoofer for the day
- headphones for at night
- a cart, because the supermarket is never close enough (unless she has a car)
- And around finals, send her a case of energy drinks. She will thank you.
That's all I can think of. I'm in my senior year now and these things served me well. I wish this gal a plesant trip through acadamia.Ah, slashdot - why dost thou feign intellect and use words like 'subversive' where they dont make ANY SENSE AT ALL???!
Going off to college means, for many, real independence for the first time. So the first things you should think about including are in support of that, or, in related fashion, in support of what happens when that breaks down. Like a pre-paid phone card with a gazillion minutes on it. And, perhaps more importantly, your phone number enscribed on that phone card so that she can call an adult who is not her parent for non-judgmental advice, followed by the words "call any time of day or night." And when she does call at 3am, make sure you wake up, listen, and provide the support she needs.
As oft-mentioned in other replies, condoms. GOOD ones. And then, bone up on emergency anti-pregnancy procedures for that 3am call asking, "ohmigod Uncle Bob -- the condom broke, what do I do?"
An open account with a local taxi service so that she never, ever, ever has to worry about getting a ride home. The means to limit abuses of this are up to you.
Alcohol. The best place to learn about drinking is in the private, protected confines of your own dorm room. (Note, there are serious legality issues here which vary from state to state. Don't do something stupid and blame it on me.)
Anti-hangover remedies. My favorite is Berocca. Send a case. Ibuprofen. Send lots.
HIV home test kits (which are really home-sampling kits which you then send to a central lab for analysis). Not cheap, but she should have any guy she's thinking of having sex with tested.
*Assuming* she knows how to use basic handtools, a small toolbox with decent quality hammer, screwdrivers, and pliers is great. If she doesn't know how to use these tools, it is still a good idea, but not nearly as important. From your suggestion of lockpicks and flashlight, one might surmise she is perhaps mechanically inclined. If so, add small pocket knife, magnifying loupe, a pocket-sized set of jewlers tools. At the other end of the physical scale, a crowbar and a 3-lb sledge. A good digital multimeter (eg, Fluke 77-III or equivalent).
The person who recommended flip-flops and a shower basket was right on the money. Add some decent (and decent-sized) soap and a couple of small travel-sized bottles of her favorite shampoo and conditioner (or other toiletries).
Now, to be really *subversive*, send a set of infrared goggles, available at surplus houses everywhere. Add in works by Kant, Ionesco, Wittgenstein, Chekov and Orwell. A couple of remote listening devices. Books on how to swear in a dozen languages. Assuming she's going to college in the US, plane tickets to Europe (put those gazillion FF miles to work!). Safety pins (the most universally useful items, after knives). Fake wedding rings. Falsies (see the posting about breast implants and their universal utility). Wigs of different color or style from her normal hair. A get-out-of-jail-free card (see the phone card with your number on it, above).
But the most subversive thing you could possibly give is: encouragement.
Put my fist through my alarm clock with its ding-dong death inside my ear. - The Blackjacks.
University student will get drunk, stoned, arrested etc. A good dog tag can save the medics, police etc a lot of time and can potentially save some young soul...
:->
It is a must for your friend's daughter.
Awesome article. People need to get over their sexual hangups. Woops. This is offtopic.
ProPlus or caffeine tablets to help her keep awake through those first few morning lectures !
A Get out of Jail free card!
I wish I had one of those...
Is she going to school in Amsterdam? How about B.C ?
If condoms are free, then get her some Astro-Glide -- the best possible condom-ment. (Heh, get it?)
NB: Don't bother buying cheap tools! remember: The bitterness of poor quality will be remembered long after the sweetness of low price has been forgotten.
The results of using a poor-quality tool vary from a frustrating experience when a hand tool almost does what it's supposed to, to a permanently-disfiguring accident when an under-powered saw jams, kicks back, and slices digits. If money is tight, it is better to buy good tools used than lousy tools new.
- Makita 9.6V cordless drill w/drill bits and driver bits - a total workhorse - I bought mine in 1987, used it all through school, then professionally for ten years. The only thing I've ever replaced are the NiCd batteries.
- Saw - electric circular if you're going high $$$; high quality hand saw otherwise
- Hand Tools -
- Good 20oz. forged hammer - Estwing is nice
- 4-Way screwdriver - one double-ended shank, each end holding one double-ended bit
- 30 ft. steel-bladed tape measure
- Utility knife - I like the Stanley one that swings open butterfly-style, so you can change the blade without using a screwdriver
- Vise-Grip brand locking pliers - accept no substitutes - there's Vise-Grip, and not exactly.
- Miscellaneous
- Permacel Gaffer's Tape - available from theatrical/film supply houses - as useful as duct tape, but stronger, doesn't smell like dead horses, and leaves much less residue on removal
- Assortment of screws, nails, bolts, nuts, plastic drywall anchors, etc.
- Small tub of spackle and a flexible putty knife for filling holes made by above
I'm not going to venture into tools for electrical work - the freshman dorms probably won't afford much opportunity for adding ceiling fixtures, but if she's headed for an apartment, a pair of wire cutters, strippers, and a neon "is it hot?" tester get you pretty far.This thing can drill holes and drive screws all day long. The entire entertainment industry runs on this tool.
Nylon rope. A knot book may also be required.
;-)
Walkie talkies - or I guess FRS radios these days
A Frisbee - nothing is more subversive on a beautiful sunny day!
Super glue or epoxy can also be great fun (and useful, too!)
Mag Lite. Watch out - not too big. A friend of mine had a 6 D cell one that campus security 'asked' him to stop carrying around.
Enrolment in a RAD course (Rape Aggression Defense) - some places are free
A good 1 hour lecture on not getting caught doing anything stupid, not breaking things, and on time managment - have fun but get the homework / studying done first
Things to give to a college student:
1. Leatherman-a bottle opener, pliers, other assorted things; a wonderful thing to have on hand
2. A gift card from Starbucks-you can put up to $500 or some rediculous amount of money on it, and coffee was a food group for me during college
3. Headphones-listening to dumb people in the computer lab is infuriating
4. Money-what I wouldn't give to not have to work some menial retail job during college. Oh, I still do that. Dammit.
5. Gift Certificates to anywhere-movies, clothes, grocery stores--anything is cool to do when you're broke
6. And yes, condoms.
Hope these help you.
goodluckcat.org
[Google Cache]
It runs Windows CE & may be a bit old (c.'98), but it's at the point where there's not too much clutter (Windows Media, Acrobat, etc.) on the machine to distract you from work. I have a friend that has one and for any non-sci/tech/egnineering student, it is the ultimate notetaking device
(Engineers need to take down illustrations and equations, and there's no MATLAB for WinCE).
The battery life is long (10 Hrs internal Li batt - HP), it's cheaper than a laptop, and it comes with a compact flash & PC card slot. You can easily pick one up off ebay for less than $300, which is what you'd pay for a decent Handspring/Palm anyway. The machine also comes w/ Word & Excel. The only downside of it is that it doesn't support a USB sync, but from what I've seen it's just as fast as my Handspring Visor D via USB.
regarding dishes, if she doesn't have any moral qualms, steal steal steal from the dining halls. there's no need to purchase dishes, flatware, or cups until you're at least four years out of college.
because NOBODY has them and your floor gets Fsckin disgusting, tile or carpet.
So there are perfectly reasonable circumstances that a private citizen might own lock-picks. :P
Thats right officer I dont own any keys at all, I just carry around a set of lockpicks so that I never need to fumble for the correct key in the dark.
Alaskan Driver's License has holographs, and has for 10+ years.
Unless you are counting on the fact that the wouldn't be that common.
Does any state NOT have a holograph/waterwark/whatever to prevent duplication?
*A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.*
Actually, "if she's in an apartment" without broadband already provided, get her either DSL or cable internet. God knows how often she'll need it to do a google search late, the night before a term paper or exam and can't wait for the slow ass modem to load up the page. Believe me, this is much more important than food when she's procrastinating.
Linux at home
I had AAA basic service for a year as a gift from my parents. One day when my motorcycle's battery died on a major highway, I gave them a call. "We don't tow motorcycles. You need to buy the 'plus service." Luckily it was a contruction zone and a government-paid tow truck happened by. I got my bike home for $10 and bought a new battery(it was bad). Seeing as I had many more bike problems than car, I upgraded to plus membership. Got a new bike, took a turn too fast and slid out. No injuries, but bike wouldn't start despite minimal damage. It took a half hour to get a hold of someone who could do anything, after 4 transfers and calling 3 numbers, who told me that "we cannot tow motorcycles unless you have the 'plus RV' service." I called my mom for a ride and she apparantly bitched out AAA. A tow truck happened by, and we got AAA to foot the bill. Note we DID get a free upgrade to the RV service after being misled. Two weeks later I crashed hard. Landed bloody on the sidewalk though not seriously injured. It took a half hour to get to someone useful, with as many transfers as before. "we cannot tow motorcycles, you must wait 10 days since your 'plus RV' membership (which was given free of charge at least 14 days by one of their managers) was activiated". I had to talk to two different managers and explain that I was in the middle of nowhere and could barely walk, before they sent anyone. 70 minutes later a tow showed up who had no idea how to tow a bike. I had to teach him how... So, I did get a lot out of my AAA service. The cost was time, pain, and frustration...not just money. I am cancelling when my contract runs out. Why did I crash my bike twice in two weeks? That's off-topic :-P
Mace or pepper spray.
http://www.askthevoid.com
but get her a vibrating pen. I'm going to college too, maybe I'll meet her there. Does she like the computer geek type? Maybe I can deliver that vibrating pen for her ;-)
If you can get your hands on one, an oddball drive of some sort, and a box or two of the correct media, would provide her with some semblance of safety for her personal data. Some examples are:
;)
SyQuest drives. 44, 88, 105 MB, etc.
An Imation SuperDisk drive (aka an LS-120) Also doubles as a standard floppy.
An old IBM 2.88 drive (of all things) Uses standard floppies. Undistinguishable from a "normal" disk, too.
Basicly any drive that would be difficult to get ahold of, but has a reputation for relability. Make sure you have another to send her, just in case hers goes 'south', and she has an important paper stored on it
Needless to say, a ZIP drive is pretty much too common. Useful as they may be, it's not the right choice for "security". You might want to include one though, if she needs to transport larger files, and the college has such a drive. Common for Graphic Arts types, or swapping larger files (or MP3 collections) without the local sysadmin having a Cow over the P2P traffic (or has blocked the file type(s).
Maybe a copy of PGP (or similar encryption) software, and instructions on proper use.
You can never have too much privacy!
Good Luck!
i find that my expired blockbuster card works great for opening many locked doors. if you don't already know, opening a door with a credit card or similar piece of thin plastic is quite easy to do but really needs a demonstration. but i'll try to explain.
the tool is a piece of plastic. you want flexible but won't crush or bend too much when you push on it vertically.
the basic idea is that the tounge (that's probably the wrong word) of the door that holds the door in place is on a spring and is sloped on one side so when you close the door you don't have to turn the handle. most doors have a fairly wide gap between the door and the frame. if you stick the plastic in that space, corner first, you can wedge the corner of the plastic onto the spring-loaded and curved tounge. if you keep pushing you will push the tounge back into the door and volia! the door will open.
i had to use it twice last week -- my friend's went on vacation and locked his bedroom door with my stuff inside, and again when i was in an office building where they lock the bathroom doors even if no one is in there. i just needed to use the bathroom and didn't know anyone there so i carded the door (do it fast).
Yeah, latex stretches, but how often do your socks stay up all day? A condom I can roll on all the way to the hilt has a better chance of staying put than some poor thing that barely gets half way there.
Wireless FM microphone
Rope (sometimes you just HAVE to tie someone's door shut), or someone to a bed.
pen with dissapearing ink (for signing all those "honor statements")
mini-blow torch (the small 2 cylinder model from RS is really nice) great for repairs, or remodeling.
tank of nitrousoxide (for knocking out your dorm mates after tying their door closed)
X10 light controllers (people get SOOO confused when lights go on and off automatically)
super-glue is overrated: a good epoxy is the basis for MANY a good laugh
, I like the "playdough" type for ease of use.
a stethescope (for when you can't get the microphone in the room)
Article X: The powers not delegated... by the Constitution...are reserved...to the people
Not as exciting (necessarily) as a lock pick set, but a screwdriver with multiple bits and a pair of pliers came in very handy for installing ethernet cards, tightning bolts on lofts...
And I always wished I had a small locked box or same to keep my roommate outta some things.
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -- Albert Einstein
Snack of the month club from The Popcorn Factory. (http://www.thepopcornfactory.com).
It's great; a new snack each month delivered to your door. I'm sure she'd get a kick out of monthly snacks...
Seems like the wrong time of year to be starting school??? A Glock 19 is the thing that immediately comes to mind but that might not be legal in the state where her school is. One really nifty item I like is that silly putty like stuff you can use for putting up pictures and posters and stuff. You avoid making holes in things which shouldn't have holes in them plus the stuff doesn't seem to damage the posters/pictures. Can't think what it's called but it's really cool stuff.
What you send really doesn't matter
Just make sure you wrap it in tons of bubble wrap (-:
*pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop* *pop*
Many many colleges will come into the room, take all the students street signs and say "you stole them - we're confiscating them".
;)
:)
However, I always wanted a STOP sign that was paid for and I had a receipt for. Unfortunately, I never got one, but I did get a traffic light
Having the power to get back as residential life staff when they simply assume that every street sign is stolen, just to flex their Gestapo-esque muscles, is priceless. Walk into Residence life office, present the receipt that says 'paid' and a date of order would be wonderful. The ultimate f-you for the RA.
Course, that's just me.
-- There is no sig line, only Zuul.
Man, stuff was hard back then, wasn't it. I'm so glad I was enough younger that when I bought my $2K machine, it was a 486SX-25, and I had the glory of Telnet to make it worthwhile.
Fortunately, the machine was enough faster than your 386 that I had time to waste at raves (good 'ol PURaves), playing video games on a console, and waiting for somebody to page me. And I paid for it all myself. And had enough time left over to get an engineering degree.
Seriously, though-- just because you had no fun whatsoever in college, doesn't mean it can't be done without help from some other source. This guy is talking about getting her a FLASHLIGHT for pete's sake. Hardly coddling.
If she's going to the University of Dayton, in Dayton, OH, I would highly recommend the Mace, although I don't think you're allowed to carry a stun gun.
I would say an ounce or ten of weed, but you said 'legal items only'....
Well that's because it's SemiCid not semisid. Although I think that it may be called semisid overseas or something, cause a lot of foreign sites gave hits for semisid, though I couldn't find any packaging pictures to verify them.
Anyways I'm not sure how much of this stuff i'd send to a friends daughter. A gross of packages of 18?
Three-hole punch
...all essentials, usually forgotten.
Push-pins (LOTS
Rolls of quarters
Printer
Desk fan
Desk lamp
TI-89 calculator (the one that DOES ALL YOUR INTEGRALS AND DEREVATIONS FOR YOU)
Use my userscript to add story images to Slashdot. There's no going back.
1.) 20-30 lbs of Saltpeter
2.)Garbage bags for making fireballoons
Let's see, two grand for a 386 puts you in college in the mid-80's. I'm going to try to put this as gently as I can, in the hopes that you might listen to it and spare some kids some grief.
I too paid for my own college. I could not afford a computer of any kind. I graduated in 1989, paid for entirely on my own dime. I too resented the frat rats who were handed everything while I worked two, and at one point, three jobs.
Now, you need to understand, that sometimes the world can change. Brace yourself, get a stiff drink, and try to cope with the fact that while lower-end wages have fallen, tuitions have multiplied.
After taking a few more courses in 1995, I realized that there is no way in hell I would have my degree if I had tried to go to school just six years after I graduated. Tuition had doubled, and for the tech-related courses, tripled. In economic terms, you had it easy.
Looking back, the kids who truly got the most out of school were the ones who didn't have to spend 50 hours a week working like I did. My kids will go to college with all the trimmings, fully funded, and I will be proud that I could give them something I didn't have.
You aren't "helping your kids grow." What you're really doing is taking your bitterness out on them.
He put his boots up on the table and made a face. "The sig," he smirked. "You can waste your life in search of the sig."
The Anarchist Cookbook.
Clapper
Monopoly
Risk
Xbox, Nintendo gamecube, PS2
Sunglasses
Pizza Hut coupons
Wire cutters
Non addressable/Cable TV box
Any Monty Python Movie
Dice
String
Gum
Fireworks
Not sure how popular the x10 cameras are on campuses these days, but someone has to be buying them. And perhaps blindly broadcasting god knows what around the dorms. Which might have immense blackmail value if recorded with an x10 reciever and cheap camcorder or framegrabber (either of which could be cool things to have by themselves).
And I can't agree enough with the quarters. Preferably a sock full of quarters. Great for laying the smack down, laundry, vending machines, making change (good way to get friends OR $1 for $0.75, usually not both...) etc. Not that any of these are nearly as important as pinball. Mmm, pinball.
And for the more subversive stuff, maybe a linesman's handset, screwdrivers, wire, pliers, etc.
Ohhh, and an 802.11b card.
ok, that's about it. 'cept maybe some fuel. Everyone in college likes fire. I preffer isopropyl alcohol.
I haven't needed condoms since I went to university, all the chicks that will do you are on birth control....
No seriously condoms are good. I just happened to find myself in a stable relationship and not wandering around poking things in random holes.
Or a care package every month.
Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.
The most valuable items that I NEVER had for my Freshman year of college:
Flipflop/throw-away sandals, a soap container, and some other weird things.
Unless this school DOES NOT have communal showers, which nearly all do (especially for Freshman/Softmores), then she will want a pare of flip flops to throw on while she showers. Other wise, she'd be standing in filth.
The soap container, obviously she wants her own soap.
Of course, these aren't high tech or anything, but their terribly useful.
And, for the hell of it, get her a computer, install linux... and steal her wannabe-trendy Gateway PC. That way, she'd be too busy falling in love with Tux to get drunk and lay some eager 19 year old.
Mike
you should see the strange looks you get when Hot-Syncing directly into a cranial implant! But seriously, in the backwoods area that I'm currently in the process of moving from, you would get some seriously strange looks when using a PDA in class. Many of them fear that I've got to be using black magic to take notes without paper. :-P So, I guess the subversive part can be considered a socio-regional attribute in this case. Eh, what do those Amish know anyway? ;-)
/*SCSI-Wan*/
I gave a younger cousin a similar package when she went to college. One of the items I added was a "get out of jail free" card from Monopoly along with a note telling her that she could call me for help if she got into trouble and didn't want her parents to find out. She never used it but told me that she liked having it.
When punk rock is outlawed, only outlaws will have punk rock.
the understanding that she has the absolute right to say "No".
Happened to me once, stupid roommate didn't realize i was in the shower that morning like i was every morning. After that, i took my keys even when i went to shower.
Ask the RA, front desk, office, whoever has the spare key to open it
Cost $5.
Make a duplicate key just to keep in your wallet/purse.
Duplicating shop said "no can do, that's a security key".
--
perl -e'$_=shift;die eval' '"$^X $0\047\$_=shift;die eval\047 \047$_\047"' at -e line 1.
extension cords, phones (not cordless), extra outlets, posters, music, things to hang posters, tape, rug, food, hooks & shelves, lamps, laundry sack, spiral bound notebooks, pens/pencils, organizers, cold medicine, asprin, hangers
Nice to have
mini fridge, printer, tools (hammer, screwdrivers, knife, etc), spackle (ever kick a hole in the wall?), stereo, toaster oven, PDA
How about a Home Depot gift card? Staples? Walmart?
A copy of The Ethical Slut.
Kevin Fox
Best thing I learned first year of University was to get free laundry. It cost $1 (dollar coin in canada), and it was one of those "put the coin(s) in and slide the whole loader thingy forward".
So you get your stir stick, slide it into the slot instead of the quarter, pushing down a little, kind of "feeling" along the bottom as you slowly slide the loader forward. When you find the hole that opens to take the coin, you slide the stir stick in and push the loader the rest of the way in. As soon as the loader goes past the "ok you've paid point", pull out your stir stick so you dont circumsize it and leave evidence.
It takes a little practice but you'll get better, I can do multi-coin machines now (make a fist, stir sticks between fingers Wolverine style!).
So once they realized some students were breaking in, they apparently put motion detectors and everything in there. Now, fine, you can break in if you want, but you're going to be caught if you don't get back out quickly. It's a tunnel; they'd have you surrounded pretty easily.
This may be just a pack of lies, designed to make us fear the tunnels, but I'd imagine that if there weren't security there, enough people would try to break in that I'd hear of successful attempts.
Anyway, just be careful what you're using lockpicks for. Just because you can into somewhere doesn't mean you're in the clear.
For hangovers, there are, of course, "patent drugs" available. No need to resort to holistics or vitamin supplements. The best hang-over preventers (there are no hang-over cures), are Tagamet and Tylenol. 1. Tylenol- enough said. If you have a headache while you sleep, why would you think you could wake up feeling great? 2. Tagamet- Does your stomach feel woozy? After 8-10 beers, my stomach does too. Acid reducers work great. I use Pepcid AC, which combines an acid reducing pill with a standard antacid. These drugs help to alleviate the syptoms of a hangover, but do not cure "Brain Fog." Brain fog in the morning is the result of who knows what. You avoid it by not getting drunk (Doctor, Doctor, it hurts when my arm does this!). Good Luck!
Uhmm... Sorry. Despite the fact that sex toys and sodomy (and by the strictest definition -- anything other than hetero, vaginal sex) are on the books as illegal in TX, dildos are still sold quite openly in the right stores.
I've been to Forbidden Fruit in Austin. Lived next to it for almost a year since it's across the street from the UT student commons, as a matter of fact. Just said no when my buddies tried to convince me to get a body piercing there. Ahem...
AT ANY RATE... They did indeed openly sell a wide array of sex-related merchandise... Including leather ball-sacs, cock-rings, love-beads, and yes, vibrators and dildos. Mind you, this was in '93, and I don't live in Austin any more. Any Austinites care to confirm or dispell my dated data?
The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
Like I said, college is all about screwing around with no matter who.
Much, insert, fuck. How hard is that?
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
Subversive means a _lot_ of things besides being a Dark Angel rip-off. The kindest thought would be that he (she?) is interested in the kid, and wants her to 'think differant'.
Display some adaptability.
I know most people on campus didn't have inline skates, but a few did, myself included. They totally rock on a large university campus with tons of sidewalk. Didn't need to worry about trying to schedule classes held in buildings close enough together to walk between, only to have the professor declare the meeting room has been moved across campus the day after drop/add week ends.
IMHO, skates are way better than a bike. I always hated bicycles because they take up too much space to carry with you so you have to waste time parking/locking, only to have your bike stolen anyway. You can simply carry your skates with you into class, never lost a pair.
You can't manuever a super crowded sidewalk in a bike very easily, but with inline skates you can (after the first year or so).
If you ever get a relationship going on, skates are a lot of fun too. Imagine trying to hold hands or hold each other close while bicycling? With skates, can do (ok, maybe only after that first year or so and only if your SO is into skating too).
Be sure to include some wrist guards and knee pads for that first year learning period.
What you do:
Wire a normal mains plug with a resistor between live and earth, so that you get an earth leakage current (I think most earth leakage systems trip out at 30mA) So if your mains is 110V, you need a 3k6 resistor.
Plug it in, and switch on, and you should (if it's working correctly) trip out the main switch. If it's not working, you might burn down the building 8-/
Also, to go with this, a battery powered alarm clock.
Of course, I never told you this (hence AC)
Illegal or not, I think the lock picks are actually a good idea. I've had to resort to making my own, with very little success. They're absolutely fantastic for pranks and when your roomie locks the door with your keys on the other side.
A Brita water filter! It wasn't until my second year that I realized how much I needed one. Of coruse, that depends on where you go to school.
Duct tape, and lots of it.
College isn't really fun unless you're doing things you're not quite supposed to be doing. That is, of course, as long as you're smart enough not to get caught.
You could send her 6 - that's the threshold for "Intent to distribute dildo's."
Banned, amusingly enough, by the Texas Penal Code. Tee-hee!
Somewhat depressing what we come up with here... not subversive at all, unless you consider the ability to reconfigure your dorm furniture at will subversive...
There are many posts about tools... certainly very important, and I can't emphasize the need for quality tools enough.
My list (in order of decreasing priority) would be something like:
- 14-ounce hammer
- Craftsman screwdriver, #2 Philips
- Craftsman screwdriver, 3/16" Straight
- Medium (6 or 8 inch) adjustable wrench, Craftsman or Crescent brand
- 'Regular' Craftsman pliers
- Leatherman | Victorinox SwissTool | Craftsman needle-nose pliers
- Craftsman wire cutters
- A simple pocket multimeter (if she's likely to use it)
- Non-contact live-wire detector (again, only if useful)
I'm displaying my expensive loyalty to Sears here. It's been worth it to me, as I've had Craftsman tools work (and survive!) in situations that would wilt another tool. (I'm thinking mainly about screwdrivers.) Now that I've gotten into making this list, a few truly subversive tools do come up:- A set of the special Cable TV tools (they'll be really popular!)
- A set of security hex wrenches (the ones that have a hole drilled in the center, the fasteners are usually found on those damn "tamper resistant" thermostat covers)
- A network card that will allow you to change its' MAC address easily, and the knowledge to use it (I know, not really a tool in the sense I've been writing about... but it has subversive possibilities.)
There is much more... personal preference and taste will certainly dictate changes. But this (meaning all the comments posted so far) is one hell of a start!"...America's great minds of today, teaching America's great minds of tomorrow. Poor bastards." -- A Beautiful Min
Forget the UV marker, if you want to be subversive, get her a black marker so she can copy that Celine Dion CD. :)
No limit.
I have been pwned because my
Very good idea. Because applying wart remover to your foot twice every day for the next 6 months (because you didn't wear sandals or similar in the shower) is not only annoying but downright painful.
One of the fun things about college is that you get to meet all kinds of people who are different from you. And one of the ways people can be different from you is that you might have good hygiene...
If it's a really large campus, a good map / GPS combo would be helpful, especially those first few days. Then later, when she's really bored, she won't get lost exploring the tunnels running underneath the school.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/039458404X/ qid=1022747724/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-3828351-14848 60
a good kitchen knife, a large saucepan, a saute pan.
Substitute a swiss army knife for the lock pick.h ey list some stuff others already mentioned.
Add duct tape.You remember the story about the students winning college scholarships for making the best prom dress out of duct tape? Lots more subversive uses for duct tape just throw in some dvds of McGuyver.Did he ever make explosive out of duct tape? DO NOT, repeat DO NOT give something like "anarchist cookbook". that stuff is crap. I suggest instead something like "The pranksters ultimate handbook" by erik buckman. And a link for the shopping disabled http://www.surprise.com/circumstances/college/
t
Humbert Humbert took the girl on a nationwide traveling tour and lavished everything he could on her (including himself). What's this about a token gift of affection?
I have been pwned because my
One of the best things I did when I moved into a dorm for the first time was build a firealarm kit. FirmAlarms will go off.. they will go off when you dont want them to.. you have to live with this..(you might have even set them off). You need a bag thats ready accessable in a flash. First you need toys.. I recomend a nurf football, of course you need a atleast one frisbee, and if your an uber geek you put in a nurf bummaring. Now on to snacks.. you might get hungry while you wating for the fire dept to show up.. I recomend Apple Cinnamen Power bars.. they are the only flavor that dont taste like ass.. and they keep for ever, really you should have a case of these things. You should also have things like a windbreaker/sweet shirt.. and maybe even a pair of shoes.. the batheroom slippers suck for the wet grass youll need to trodge across. Now for the one thing you CANT not live wihtout.. an extra pair of car keys.. nothing is better then jumping into your car at 3am and making a run to In&Out.. and eating infront of all the aholes that were studing. And a small tote bag to hold all this stuff ( mine was under the edge of the bed.).
.. dont breath..and you look like everyother moron. If You *need* the wraparounds.. use some rit die to color them.. raceing strips will get you noticed.
Some other Cool things to have that may not belong in your fire alarm bag. Of course shot glasses, mixing glassses..and some howto mix drinks books.You would be suprised what most freshmen think is in a White Russian.
A good pair of lab goggles, glasses style those wrapwround suck
Another good thing is a good a spool of strong firm wire. This brings to me to a cool trick. You tie (wrap) a piece of the middle part of a firesprinker.. and then to other side to your RA's door handle. They wakeup.. yank ont door.. its blocked..they pull harder.. and then wamo. the sprinkler goes off. Good news its hella funny.. bad news it will fill you hall with water until the fire dept determines that the is no fire..and they find the spigot to turn it off.. this is usally hours.
Also you need squirt guns.. water fights in the doorms are kick ass.. you get extra points if you repell down to soak someone.
Ahh living in the dorms was fun.. I wonder if I can go back without going taking clasess.. wait I never went anyways.. maybe I should go back to school.
get caught on camera fucking a guy, have it get sent out to the entire college because she didn't disable file sharing on her comp, and ruin her life. Believe me this shit happens I've had friends send me videos from UC Berkeley and San Jose State with this kind of shit happening. I also heard about something like this happening UC Davis where a friend's roomate got charged with rape and kicked out because he taped him and a girl then accidently shared the video on Kazzaa. I'm serious about this shit, if you get her a webcam tell her to disconnect it when she brings boys in!
______________________________
The sun beams down on a brand new day, No more welfare tax to pay, Unsightly slums gone up in flashing light...
All I have needed thus far in college is some good toilet paper, duct tape, and a small white hand towel. With those things you can go anywhere in life.
Chicks who lease their porn are OK in my book, too.
Looking back, the kids who truly got the most out of school were the ones who didn't have to spend 50 hours a week working like I did. My kids will go to college with all the trimmings, fully funded, and I will be proud that I could give them something I didn't have.
Good for you, seriously.
....an open and inquiring mind.
Ciryon
Everclear, beer, koolaid, vodka, rum, beer, shot glasses, plastic tumblers, bongs, pipes, steamrollers, rolling papers, rolling machines, pokers, bong cleaner, fabric softener, weatherstripping for the door, incense, incense burners, toaster oven, microwave, hotplate, rapid boiler, twinkees, ho-ho's, chips, soda, WATER, PDA, laptop, toga, keg tapper, wrist straps, fake ids, various markers w/numerous colors used by local *ahem* establishments, dildos, condoms, vibrators, ben-wa balls, padded bra, edible undies, laundry detergent, quarters, dart sets, pool cues, duct tape, fire crackers, smokebombs, super glue, pennies to wedge doors with, camera, telephone butt set (great when traveling 'cross country and the cell doesn't work), candy, popcorn, 3.5 ft^3 fridge, hidden cameras, LOUD alarm clocks w/rigged snooze buttons (so they don't work and you have to get your ass out of bed), anything caffeinated from ThinkGeek.com, coffee grinder, espresso machine, travel tumbler, calculators (programmable of course), fine-tipped pens for making cheat sheets, laminating film to coat the cheat sheets with...
Did I forget anything?
food-grade Plastic tubing (about 1.5 to 2" ID)... 6" plastic funnel... hooka...magazines... stereo... CD's, blank CDR's, DVD player (or drive in laptop), TV, cable descrambler box
I wish I have a car!!!!!!!!
A cheap one will do.
finishing my freshman year, the two things i use ALL THE TIME and never thought to bring with me were a phone card with a zillion minutes on it (still relatively cheap!) and a couple rolls of quarters (laundry)...if you can find one a cheap mp3 player (like an old rio or something...an archos jukebox if $ != object) neway, that's all i got, g/l
I would want her to at least "spell the same".
Since you're already well on your way to getting her kicked out, why not supply her w/ some generic white powder, envelopes, and the addresses of high ranking officials in Washington!
Gosh, you all missed the most important thing of all: a portable police scanner that works on both the local police and the campus police frequencies. Sure got me out of trouble a couple times ...
--- Jason Olshefsky
Karma: Poser (mostly affected by adding this line long after everyone else did)
assuming the bag already contains a suffucuent amount of cheese and geek-toys:
a small swiss knife
a decent alarm clock
some recipes for ultra-low cost foods
a few good pens
small binoculars
and a calendar.
But they won't be for her. Pot smokers are notoriously lazy. And they are always wanting cigars so they can make blunts. My RA was a major stoner. He'd light up at least 3 or 4 times a day. But he never wanted to go to CVS to get Phillies. So, I became an entrepaneur.
I went and bought a whole box of Phillies, which cost me about $10 for 50 cigars. Then I sold them for a $1 a piece (you can get them for $.25 at the store). So I'd make $40 profit about every 2 weeks selling to all the potheads on my half of the building, so I could get my drug of choice: beer.
BigCat79
"The dead have risen and are voting Republican!" --Bart Simpson
351. (1) Every one who, without lawful excuse, the proof of which lies on him, has in his possession any instrument suitable for the purpose of breaking into any place... Proof=papers I used to work at a place that sold picks and slim-jims (mostly to tow truck operators) and papers were required to purchase and carry them. Every tow-truck operator has 'em in their glove compartment.
Condoms (some w/o nonoxidill as I've met some who are alergic!), lots of water based lube (Wet was the brand insisted on...) Two of my girlfriends insisted on sending 2 vibrators, 1 large, 1 small (waterproof?), a small reading light, A Handspring Visor (or any Palm OS PDA) or an iPod, If she has a laptop, a 802.11 card (if the school or surounding area has APs), crayons and a coloring book (or puzzle book), hand cuffs (w/ extra keys), some hard-to-find software for her PC/Mac, and a webcam...
All in all about 5 people got back to me w/ ideas.. talked about them and refined them into this list. Wish her luck!
A pot (that's for cooking food, not baking yourself), a pan, a few decent cups, a few decent plates, some silverware, and a cooking knife.
This stuff is expensive and really freaking useful, it also lasts for a heck of a long time (with mildly close to proper care).
That's true, but it's up to the distributor to decide who he sells to. Selling, per se, isn't illegal in Canada nor are they required to verify you'll be using them in a lawful manner, but most will. You can also quite simply order them over the Internet - Canada Customs will let them through no problem.
I worked as a locksmith apprentice in high school co-op (though never got my trade papers) and used to carry a pick around in my wallet for all kinds of mischief causing reasons. I stopped after I grew up and realized I was just asking for trouble if I was ever busted with them on me. (When I was 16, I was being sentenced for a B/E that I was involved in and when the judge saw my co-op term was about to start and what I was taking, he very nearly threw the book at me.) But they are pretty small - I was searched prbly a dozen times while I carried them and no one ever felt up the lining of my wallet.
Hmmmm.... I turned out quite well for being such a delinquent 10 years ago!
And the Hitchhikers Guide series We are talking subversive right?
Whew! I guess I was in a G. Gordon Liddy mood yesterday... Sorry, but I don't really advocate killing feds with Rocket Powered Grenades, Role Playing Games, or Report Program Generators.
OTOH, I would love to live in an America where the citizens aren't terrorized and thrown into concentration camps because of their choice of intoxicant.
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
...back in '84 or so, I remember a dormmate at UT Austin mentioning that he'd carefully searched and found no books on locksmithing anywhere on campus. (And believe me, Texas has a whole lot of well-stocked libraries.)
;o)
Just thought I'd mention this in the interests of good citizenship.
"How many light bulbs does it take to change a person?" --BMcC-->
Borderline flamebait I know, but both my (limited) experience and that of friends living in Austin and elsewhere in Texas suggests that Austin is a little enclave of non-Texas liberal culture in the middle of a whole sea of Texas.
Simply put, you can get away with stuff in Austin you just couldn't anywhere else in the state.
The only thing you can accurately describe as "Scotch" is a sticky tape made by 3M. And it's
Hey, I know that it sucked to work constantly while in school. And I probably would have been able to learn more and do better in my classes if I had to work less. Or, I might have spent that time dicking around, like one of my roommates who didn't work. But ask yourself this: What did YOU learn from your college experience? Not just in your classes, there is more to it than that. It sounds like you are doing OK for yourself. Since you worked throughout school, you probably learned that it feels GOOD to make it on your own. In the long run, what is better - to have a good work ethic, or to have no worries at all? Which is more realistic?
And for the record, I don't have kids, so I am not taking anything out on anyone. I do understand that you want to be able to help your kids as much as you can. I am not saying that helping them is wrong, but you have to help them in the right ways. Help them to help themselves. They might not like it so much at the time, but later in life they will appreciate it. And if you have the money to help them with tuition, do it! There is nothing wrong with that, maybe you can spare them the hell of paying back student loans. But don't help them so much that they don't appreciate the idea of doing something for themselves. It's OK if they have to struggle a little bit.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
Campuses these days love to tout their 'diversity', but that usually just winds up meaning 'people with different colored skin that think like they are supposed to'. Send her in with D'sousa's "What's So Great About America" and she'll be branded a radical almost immediately! = )
I held my own. It is amazing how far you can go on confidence and self-respect.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
* A tazer gun.
* MACE
* One of those personal alarms.
* Someone already mentioned a chastity belt.
* Her own stash of ruffies (The date rape drug.) Because there really is no reason she shouldn't be able to turn the tables on the guys.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97, Wear sunscreen!
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now...
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; Oh never mind, you will never understand the power and the beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in twenty years, you will look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen.
;)
"Ever sass that hoopy [college girl]? There's a frood who knows where [her] towel is." - Paraphrased from Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
-------------------------------------------------
1: Focus
2: Desire
3: Motivation
4: Foresight
5: Perseverance
7: Sobriety
If you can find a way to encourage any of these traits in her you will be giving her a gift beyond measure.
"The way to acquire good judgemnt is by exercising bad judgement...REPEATEDLY." --Mom ("REPEATEDLY" added by me)
When the only tool you have is a claw hammer every problem starts to look like the back of someone's skull.
Nothing better than 80 sleep deprived, angry, bleary eyed college students all trying to figure out who did that.
Slay a dragon... over lunch!
"the proof of which lies on him" was not specified to be papers claiming to be a locksmith. Think deed to a house, think getting caught picking your own locks. Think an affidavit from upstanding citizens that claim you lost your keys and thus require the instruments. It's all proof of a lawful excuse. All you need to do is prove that you're using the tools in a lawful way and you're covered. Big f'in deal.
1. if she's got a laptop, a locking cable so it won't get stolen (provided her POS dorm room has a nice eyebolt to connect it to.
2. Pepper spray. nonletal weapons are the way to go... who knows where she'll be when suddenly she ends up in a place she doesn't want to be and wants to get away...
3. a good MP3 player. personally I love my RioVolt. Send her with a good collection of mp3's to listen to.
4. Day planner.
5. a small toolbox or one of those locking fireproof safes she can put her valubles in if she's going to have a roommate.
Yes Francis, the world has gone crazy.
What kinds of things did you wish you had, but couldn't get, in college?
Laid.
-Billco, Fnarg.com
baz lehrmer? is that you? :)
There's nothing Intelligent about Intelligent Design.
1. A scanner. I don't mean a paper scanner, I mean a scanning radio receiver. You could hear all kinds of cool s*** listening to the large number of cordless phones in the dorms.... Not to mention listening in on the campus cops.
2. A short-range FM Radio transmitter. I had the Ramsey FM-10 (go to Ramsey Electronics for details). You want one for "Part 15" operation. These are legal, not very expensive, and very, very subversive!
3. I'll echo a sentiment I read in another post.... Lots and lots of encouragement--the single most subversive thing there is.
Oh, and don't let her get a cordless phone unless it is digital and encrypted, 'cos there are guys like me on campus (See item 1 above. :-D )
www.wavefront-av.com
She should have mace/pepper spray or a small pocket knife.
If you are observant and somewhat intelligent you don't even need picks to get into places. For example, if there is a locked door with a drop in ceiling on both sides, it is usually possible to lift the ceiling tiles and climb over the top of the door. Or in older buildings you can pull the door hinge pins and take the door our. This is especially usefull for the best subversive college activity, PRANKS! At my college there is a long tradition of pranks and appropriate pranks (i.e. don't damage school or personal property) are encouraged by faculty and staff. In regards to this, I would suggest a night vision scope or a leatherman type multitool(very usefull).
You should visit more often!
This all changed about 9 months ago. Texas now has an open container law. Frankly, after having grown up with the old laws, it's a bit of a pain in the ass having to remember that all the alcohol must go in the trunk when you're on the way to parties...
(-0.5, slightly off topic)
Er, "legal items only"? Unless she's a licensed-bonded-insured locksmith, the lock pick set may be a poor choice! Check the laws in the state and city where she's going to college before giving her those.
For all the nay-sayers:
When viewed in a Logical Manner, my parents never used calculators in school and for the most part they were viewed as implements of cheating, but for much of my schoolastic career calculators were a required item. Therefore, I learned a greater amount of math (theory) then my parents did due to the fact that I did not spend most of the day sifting through the Book of sins (as in sin/cos/tan, not biblical), or a list of Logs (as in base 10 and natural logarithms). Is would be easy to assume that soon PDAs and other types of hand held computing devices will become part of the standard curriculum in order to shorten or remove the time consuming menial tasks we learn to do early in our scholastic careers (Arithmetic as an example. A simple but time consuming task of mathmatics that robs us of precious time that could be spent learning greater theory).
I would suggest that if you want to buy a gift to help her scholastic career as stated, take a look at her curriculum first, and purchase appropriately. If you wish to get her items that create an easier living condition, focus on the aspect of Dorm Life and what would make it easier. Tools, and Shower Goods have been suggested, and they are great ideas for easing dorm conditions. For me, a coffee maker was one of my best friends. Morning coffee in my room was always better than getting my first cup from across campus.
Opinions Expressed by Me should be Forced on Others - PbHead
99.999% of all women are unexplained, or unexplainable... but then again, most of them do not need an explanation, they just are.
-Kelt
My intelligence insults itself.
Add to that Lies My Teacher Told Me by James Loewen.
...about a government by looking at its capitol.
I'd love to get random care-package gifts if I went away to live in a dorm (I moved out at 17, so never did the dorm thing). Even if the stuff is pointless, useless, or bizarre it'd still be nice to know that someone stopped and thought about me.
And the mentioned items are hardly tools for vicarious thrill-seeking. A lot of the stuff posted is, but lockpicks, a UV pen, and an LED light are just useful. Sure, you Could use any of them to get yourself in trouble, but they all have a lot of legitimate, "Hey, you might find this handy; I know I would have when I was your age" uses.
Perhaps you should just let your father's friends know that you're this ungrateful. Then when you find yourself locked out of your dorm room you can think back with vindication and be happy that you avoided becoming someone's puppet by accepting gifts.
"If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live" -- MLK, Jr.
I guess I didn't make my joke obvious enough. (What would you need an ID for?) should be (Drinking age? What's that?)
:)
Do you even know anything about perl? -- AC Replying to Tom Christiansen post.
depends on your college
I've never seen an instance where a TI-8x (0,1,2,3,5,6) was accepted but the TI-89 was not
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