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User: jo_ham

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Comments · 7,204

  1. A geek with a bike... on What is Your Best Tech Joke? · · Score: 1, Funny

    Two geeks are admiring a bike. The first says to the second, "This bike is great! Where did you get it?"

    The second geek answers, "A beautiful girl rode up to me in the street, jumped off, stripped naked and said 'take anything you want!'"

  2. You can have all three... on Intel Announces New, Slower, Chip · · Score: 1

    They're on sale here.

    Mobile: hell yeah. You could pick up one of these, then pick your nose and you'd weigh less.

    Powerful: Well, being able to digitise full frame, broadcast quality DV and render some effects in realtime (more effects as you up the cpu speed).

    Efficient with batteries: 5 hours on one battery, if you're careful (ie, not burning dvds all the time, or playing Quake 3, or Warcraft or something).

  3. Re:Not New @ All on My Short Life As An Unintentional Porn Spammer · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's what baseball bats are for.

    If the FBI won't take it further, you could always beat seven shades of shit out of him, then when the police arrest you, assume his identity.

  4. oh, and to address the actual topic... on Unreal Security Hole · · Score: 2, Funny

    Guns, rocket launchers, women: good

    Worms, security holes, f'ing smiley face proxy mines, Microsoft: bad

    mmmkay?

  5. There's nothing like getting "M-M-Monster Kill"... on Unreal Security Hole · · Score: 1

    ..when the only weapons you have are a pair of Enforcers.

    Those damn guns are just too fantastic not to use. High rate of fire (when you have two), good accuracy, no splash damage to yourself in a fire fight, pretty dangerous if you can keep your cross hairs on your opponent's head.

    Lobbing the Gravity Vortex or flying a Redeemer missile into a large bunch of players to get the M-Kill seems like cheating!

  6. Re:Am I missing something.. on Apple Updates Xserve, Announces Xserve RAID · · Score: 1

    Yes, if by that you mean "camcorders and video cameras".

    Any camera with a DV, iLink or 1394 port (they are all firewire ports with different names) on it can output video and audio and control data along it at full frame in DV format.

    Apple's excellent DV codec is both efficient, extremely high quality, and low on cpu, meaning you can capture near-lossless full frame DV on something as humble as a 500Mhz iBook - basically any Apple computer with a firewire port.

    Using broadcast settings, DV takes up about 5 minutes per gig, but if you go lossless, it's much higher (Media 100's codec, for example, takes up much more room than Apple's DV one).

    Add Final Cut Pro or Media 100i to this system and you could digitize full frame, broadcast quality video and audio for hours and you wouldn't fill it up. You could also work with HDTV and 35mm/70mm formats, which have insane storage requirements - you wouldn't need the firewire port in these cases, but it's always handy to have if you have DVCAM copies of your film slates so you can do a rough edit before committing to getting your reels digitized.

    And Apple being Apple, you could buy one of these for home use and just use iMovie - which captures in DV format just the same as Final Cut Pro. I imagine if you were going to shell out ten grand on a server and storage solution you'd plump the extra thousand for Final Cut Pro though!

    I'd be insanely happy with an Xraid providing storage for our Media 100i system. Currenty it's a G4 tower with a mix of scsi raid 0 and firewire drives (we're experimenting with low cost online-edit storage on the firewire front).

  7. Re:A question too late on Kevin Mitnick Answers · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ah, yes, but you'll be disappointed.

    I said "Tea, Earl Grey, Hot" to the Tibooks in the Apple store and nothing not even a "please specify, that beverage is not in my database".

    Shoddy.

  8. Re:Sigh... on Apple Posts Their X11 Source · · Score: 2, Informative

    And the beauty of Apple is, you can turn the pictures off if you don't like them.

    Customisation for the end user is key.

  9. Brings new meaning to the saying... on Priest Brews in Washing Machine · · Score: 0, Redundant

    ...sober as a preist on Sunday.

  10. Changes the meaning of the saying... on Priest Brews in Washing Machine · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...sober as a preist on Sunday.

  11. No man is an island... except in the bath on Websites Complaining About Screen-Scraping · · Score: 1

    I'll be here all week ladies and gents. Please, try the fish.

  12. Re:True power is 505 watts, not 1000 on Logitech Z-680 Dolby 5.1 PC Speakers Reviewed · · Score: 3, Informative

    Whenever any company advertises speakers or amps with "xxx watts peak power!" on the box, move along, nothing worth buying here.

    You usualy find the RMS value in tiny, tiny lettering at the bottom somewhere.

    I makes me wonder if they design their systems to survive short spikes at very high power, just so they have a bigger number to advertise with to beat the competition.

    A good rule of thumb that I always work to is never drive an amp at more than 75% or so of its RMS output (same goes for speakers).

  13. 5 months old and you can type?! on Baked Apple · · Score: 1

    Are you in the guinness book of records?

  14. Re:Works fine for me on iMovie 3.0.1 Users "Upgrading" to 2.1.2 · · Score: 1

    The preview window was choppy during import, but that's happened on every video app I've used.

    True, true. The digitsing window in Final Cut Pro 3 is choppy too, but it still captures perfect DV streams.

    The only app I've seen that doesn't have a choppy preview monitor is Media 100 - but only because all the video is handled by a very expensive custom capture/DSP board.

  15. Re:And in other news.. on Slashback: Slammer, Frames, Pop-Ups · · Score: 2, Insightful

    so females aren't covered?

    There's no way even SBC would have the balls to attempt to patent the female genitals and associated plumbing. It's far too beautiful.

  16. And in other news.. on Slashback: Slammer, Frames, Pop-Ups · · Score: 5, Funny

    SBC patents patents.

    Other well noted SBC patents include:

    Oxegenating blood by inhalation of atmosphere. Secreting water onto the surface of the skin when hot/tired to assist in heat loss.
    Excretion of urea in solution via a hose type device.

    They'd better clear that last one up quick. I'm dying for a piss but I don't have any change for the SBC lawyer.

  17. Re:who would have thought... on Mac vs. PC Digital Photography Comparison Redux · · Score: 1

    True, but they're obviously going to try. Even if you don't have the goods you still try to sell your platform.

  18. I'd have preferred it if.. on Apple Offers Keynote and iLife for Teachers · · Score: 3, Funny

    They'd sold the iLife and Keynote apps for full price but thrown in a free iBook to install them on.

    Can't have everything I guess!

  19. I'm only after her for her firewire port... on Helmet Paint Job iBook Mod · · Score: 3, Funny

    Remember folks, if your girlfriend smokes after sex, slow down or use a lubricant.

  20. Re:case mods on Helmet Paint Job iBook Mod · · Score: 2

    My girlfriend sent me this link earlier today:

    http://www.kodawarisan.com/ug/iBook/clear/clear1 .h tml

    Remember those transparent personal stereos where you could see all the working parts?

  21. Re:Switch to Macs? Why waste you money on Apple and Linux Beneficial to Each Other? · · Score: 1

    I repaired a Windows-based laptop for a friend yesterday and it was the biggest pile of junk I have ever seen.

    Tacky plastic that creaks, not a sign of any dort of metal frame or bracing - the entire thing drew strength from two thin, crappy pieces of ABS plastic.

    The reason for repair was that the DVD drive had come unseated from it's connector and hence wasn't working. I'm sure if the chassis had been more sturdy this wouldn't have happened.

    He paid £1,300 for this laptop (1.3Ghz, 256Mb, 30Gb, DVD, 14", Windoze XtremePants).

    In comparison, I paid £1,100 for a 600Mhz G3 iBook. While you might balk at the apparent speed loss compared to that POS windoze box, it can encode Mpeg4 in real time, capture DV at full frame, and export back to the camera with no loss of quality and is more than powerful enough for me in most applications.

    As a plus, and this is really where the iBook wins hands down, it is a solid piece of hardware.

    It's constructed of magnesium alloy and polycarbonate and is well put together, resulting in a very rugged little machine that feels more like a solid object than a chassis with delicate computer parts inside. There are no external catched, switches or doors that can break off, and it's only an inch and a half thick, and weighs about as much as a bag of sugar. About 5 lbs I think - so maybe 2 bags.

    The battery lasts for 5 hours, give or take a bit (obviously less if you're watching a DVD or burning CDs - oh yeah, the iBook has a combo drive in it).

    I doesn't burn my crown jewels when it's sitting on my lap, although I imagine I'd be a bit more careful if I had a G4 inside it.

    For less than my friend paid for his pile of plastic and junk I got a 12" laptop with equivalent HD space, a DVD/CD-RW drive, half the memory (but for $50 I put another 256 in the same day it arrived) and a user experience that just
    can't be matched on a windows machine.

    As with everything in life, you get what you pay for. And in my opinion (and it is just that, an opinion), the Apple platform in all its forms provides that.

    I could have bought a windows laptop with an equivalent processor and screen size for less money, but it wouldn't have been a patch on the fantastic piece of computing hardware sitting on my lap right now.

  22. Re:New phrase coined: on Mac vs. PC Digital Photography Comparison Redux · · Score: 1

    heh, my "can't take a screenshot" was a bit of a quip. Much like asking a dead man to tell you what killed him and how he's feeling.

  23. Re:New phrase coined: on Mac vs. PC Digital Photography Comparison Redux · · Score: 1

    10.2 doesn't panic like that any more, that was just 10.1.x.

    Fortunately, I haven't seen any panics in 10.2 yet, but I have seen pictures of the screen that shows up if it happens (taken with a digital camera - for some unknown reason you can't take a screen shot during a kernel panic...) and it says something like "Your computer has panicked. You will need to reboot it. You will lose all your unsaved work" or words to that effect.

    Oh, and I'm cracking up at Beachball of Rumination, that has forever entered my vocabulary now. Formerly I was calling it the spinning beachball of death.

  24. Re:who would have thought... on Mac vs. PC Digital Photography Comparison Redux · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I think the point is that we had an article trashing the Mac for image processing because it was so slow at RAW processing. This appears to have fixed that problem, so there's no reason not to use a Mac in digital photography work now.

  25. Re:The best part about Apple upgrades is . . . on Updated Power Macs at Apple.com · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Indeed, we have a Meida 100 system as our primary edit suite and aside from the very expensive (approx £10,000) specialist editing card it's a stnadard single processor 867 G4.

    We just bought a an old Mystic (Dual G4 450) and a copy of Final Cut Pro 3. We were dubious about it being able to work with full frame DVCAM but it's a little gem of a machine - so far we've had it playing back timelines with 4 video streams on along with 3 audio tracks.

    It renders transitions in seconds.

    I don't know how Apple expects to sell these new machines when we can produce broadcast quality edits using a three year old Dual G4.

    Final Cut Pro 3 is too good on those old systems!