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User: coughfeeman

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  1. When You're Karma is "Technically" Good on Naked Mole Rats Defy Mortality Mathematics (discovermagazine.com) · · Score: 1

    It's like the budget reincarnation package for someone who has never done anything bad, but contributed nothing to society: you get to live a shitty life in a shitty world as a hideous burrowing scrotum with claws and teeth but you're blind anyway, feel no pain, and never age or stop fucking.

  2. I would be a well deserved (Score:5, Insightful) for a comment that basically says, "Cite?"

  3. Re:yet it still makes sense on Seattle Minimum Wage Study Has Serious Flaws (washingtonpost.com) · · Score: 1

    That's not how the scientific process works.

    A theory's validity is supported and or challenged by solid repeatable experiments. To say that a flawed study is valid because it supports established theory is completely backwards.

    A poorly designed study based on skewed sampling is flawed at best and propaganda fodder for worst.

  4. "...sculpted tunnel openings" on Norway Plans to Build the World's First Ship Tunnel (newatlas.com) · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I really hope they don't pass up the opportunity to make it look like an ancient artifact of Norse mythology; like straight up Gates of Argonath shit.

    Or at least make it totally metal, like it was designed by Dethklok.

    Come on Norway, gotta represent.

  5. "This guy gets it." - Guy With Flashlight Up His Butt

  6. Re:Give Out an Official Recording on More Performers Are Demanding Audiences Lock Up Their Phones (nytimes.com) · · Score: 1

    I think the Grateful Dead should be considered an exception because it's widely known that a properly attended Dead concert is one you can't remember.

    These authorized recordings were a way to constantly reassure their fans that "yeah man, that really did happen."

  7. Re:Hope you enjoy being broke on More Performers Are Demanding Audiences Lock Up Their Phones (nytimes.com) · · Score: 1

    I would rather not go to a performance with my phone locked up - even if I never took the phone out once. It's way too much an invasion of piracy.

    Fixed that for you.

    None of your information, private or otherwise, is being taken. It's preventing you from taking something from the show, either in the form of the artist's performance or your fellow attendee's ability to enjoy it.

  8. Ken Bone's Follow-up Question on Ken Bone May Have Violated FTC Guidelines With Uber Tweet (vice.com) · · Score: 1

    I think Ken now deserves an answer from the candidates to this follow-up question, "what do you think of this fucked up situation right here?"

  9. Re:I'm I the only one on Big Trouble for Bitcoin (medium.com) · · Score: 1

    And then they came out with Tide Pods, breaking them into smaller, transportable, unmarked (so they're easily...laundered) denominations. Who wouldn't love to control the supply of a universally demanded trade-able product with a stable intrinsic value?

    I wonder when the Federal Reserve is going to bust up Proctor and Gamble for trying to nose in on their racket.

  10. Re:I'm I the only one on Big Trouble for Bitcoin (medium.com) · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Oh, the tide is already shifting to a new underground currency, and this one is much more liquid and widely available.

  11. Life finds a way on Japanese Company Makes Low-Calorie Noodles Out of Wood · · Score: 1

    Wouldn't it be funny if after extended consumption of this product, the gut biome changes to resemble a termite's and people start extracting nutrients and getting fat from the fermenting cellulose?

  12. Back when Science was Metal \m/. .\m/ on How Analog Tide Predictors Changed Human History (hackaday.com) · · Score: 1

    "Laplace’s hydrodynamic approach to tide prediction was first put into use by William Thomson, who would later become Lord Kelvin."

    Dude scienced so hard he leveled up like motherfucking Gandalf.

  13. Re:Not True on Scientists Discover First Warm-Blooded Fish · · Score: 1

    I heard Kanye West is a hot-blooded gay fish.

  14. In other news: on Windows 10 the Last Version of Windows? Not So Fast. · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Did Bigfoot and Nessie's lovechild (Nessfoot?) post nude selfies on Instagram?! Find out at 11!"

    @11: "No, none of that happened. Just another Kardashian sighting. Still,...News!"

  15. Re:Wow .... on Scientists Determine New Way To Untangle Proteins By Unboiling an Egg · · Score: 1

    Imagine, a seasoning which turned your tough steak back from being shoe leather.

    I wonder what wacky applications chefs will come up with for this one. I can see some of the molecular gastronomy folks doing some odd things.

    From the article: "he and his colleagues add a urea substance that chews away at the whites, liquefying the solid material." I'm sure if you send that overdone steak back to the kitchen, the chef would be happy to apply the finest urea available to remedy the situation.

    But actually, the process won't return the steak back to uncooked meat, it would turn the steak back to protein soup.

  16. Re:Applicable on Monochromatic Light As a Species-selective Insecticide · · Score: 1

    You forget the third leg in the Japanese project triangle: sexy. So you can have blue humanoid robots but they won't be sexy, or you can have sexy humanoid robots but they won't be blue.

    The sexy blue faction was really happy with the attention Avatar brought to their often overlooked cause.

  17. Completely missing the impact of this finding! on Robot Makes People Feel Like a Ghost Is Nearby · · Score: 1

    I can't believe discussion on this topic turned into a heated debate on consciousness and metaphysics, ignoring the explosive impact this research will have on the sex toy industry, especially for the fellas.

    No longer will man have to rely on his imagination to put life into the can of Pillsbury biscuit dough he's humping (or the silicon equivalent of the same technology). With the new Thrust Delaying harness your Canned Tang, Handee Man, Li'l Tugger, and Bone Cone can take on a spooky life of it's own! Dial up the delay and you'll think Patrick Swayze was giving you a reach-around via Woopie Goldberg! That's some stranger danger you can feel safe about!

    Why stop there? Hook it up to an amp so you can control the volume and tone of your thrusts and plug in some effect pedals to play with the peak and trough of your strokes!

    Truly a great landmark day in the history of onanism. Hopefully this will herald growth and innovation (like cotton in a cotton gin) instead of isolating pain and humiliation (like a penis in a cotton gin).

  18. Re:terrible on XYZPrinting Releases All-In-One 3D Printer With Internal Laser Scanner · · Score: 1

    This is the 3D equivalent of an HP all-in-one scanner/printer that can scan at 500 dpi (.05 mm), but prints at 250 dpi (0.1 mm).

    So yeah, expectations of mechanically compatible reproductions are a bit far reaching.

  19. Can the operator walk? on Navy Tests Unpowered Exoskeleton · · Score: 1

    If they want to talk about this as an exoskeleton, they need to show someone walking with a load. Otherwise, this is just a mobile platform for the Equipois ZeroG arm which is basically a steadycam mount for industrial equipment.

    Specifically, I understand that the frame transfers the weight of the rig to the ground (rather than to a chest harness in a traditional steadycam), but unless they show the device dynamically transfering the weight from hip to hip so the wearer can walk without bearing the load, it's not so much an exoskeleton as it is a step-in tool mount.

    Now back to the dick jokes because the first post and a dozen others have not yet completely worn out the heavy tool trope.

  20. Really? A hand-held touch device to control... on No, a Stolen iPod Didn't Brick Ben Eberle's Prosthetic Hand · · Score: 1

    ..a prosthetic hand? So to make it work, it has to be remotely operated by the working hand? Otherwise, isn't it just a narcissistic recursive device: command hand to poke at iPod so it can command the hand to poke at the iPod?

    Do they make pedal powered wheelchairs?

  21. Some noteable geographical features... on Small World Discovered Far Beyond Pluto · · Score: 1

    ...include 3 small volcanoes and a glass dome containing some dead plant material.

  22. Re: The only fix for vampire draw on Tesla Model S Has Bizarre 'Vampire-Like' Thirst For Electricity At Night · · Score: 1

    I had the Scott Adams story in another tab and forgot I had switched to this story before getting up to refill my coffee mug. I came back to my computer and read your comment and thought, "damn, this thread got dark real quick."

  23. Clarifying the Photo in the Article on Researcher Allows Sand Flea To Grow Inside Her Foot To Study It · · Score: 5, Informative

    Reading the photo's cation, "The sand flea Tunga penetrans, here in a scanning electron microscope several days after penetrating the skin. The abdominal opening protrudes on the right," I thought it was an image of the flea in situ with it's ass stuck through a chunk of the skin it was excised with.

    In fact, that giant doughnut around it's midsection is the part that "over 2 weeks [...] swells up to many times its original size, reaching a diameter of up to 10 mm." It's not even fully distended in the photo. Fully inflated, the flea looks like a pearl onion. A fecund pearl onion under your skin erupting with eggs.

    When Satan was going through puberty, these were his blackheads.

  24. 'Cause the Black Market be all like, "If only we could post on anyone's FB timeline! Combined with the 4 question marks we've gathered, we can have all the Bitcoins!"

  25. Re:I last visited this place . . . on 'Old School' Arcade Still Popular In NYC · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I remember this place in the 80's. My parents would take us out to Chinatown every week from the 'burbs to get some "real" groceries, and my brother and I would beg for a quarter so we can play a game. That was the one and only place I've ever seen the the machine where you can play Tic-Tac-Toe with a live chicken.