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User: HarveyBirdman

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Comments · 1,390

  1. Re:I thought we were going to run out of oil first on Zero-emission Power Plants Proposed · · Score: 1
    So which is going to be the end of humanity? Global Warming or Peak Oil?

    Neither. The correct answer is giant bees.

  2. Pffft! on New Technique Could Trace Documents By Printer · · Score: 1

    Trace the document back to the original tree from which it was made. Only then you can color me impressed.

  3. Re:No One Solution Will Solve This Problem on Zero-emission Power Plants Proposed · · Score: 1
    I believe I saw a post here on /. that said that if 95% of the world's energy was produced by windmills, we would be extracting more energy from the atmosphere then is being added by global warming.

    Of course at that point every man, woman, child and pet on the Earth is living in a windmill, but, hey, there ya go.

  4. Re:Why CDs are $15.99 on Wal-Mart Squeezing Record Labels to Cut CD Prices · · Score: 4, Funny
    $0.17 Musicians' unions
    $0.80 Packaging/manufacturing
    $0.82 Publishing royalties
    $0.80 Retail profit
    $0.90 Distribution
    $1.60 Artists' royalties
    $1.70 Label profit
    $2.40 Marketing/promotion
    $2.91 Label overhead
    $3.89 Retail overhead

    Getting the album for free off the internet? Priceless. :-)

  5. Re:GM plants and patent enforcement on Genetically-Modified Everything · · Score: 1
    We have stockpiles...

    Hah! I knew those WMDs went somewhere! ;-)

    Lighten up and have a mutant peach.

    Mmmm... mutant peach.

  6. Re:GM plants and patent enforcement on Genetically-Modified Everything · · Score: 2, Insightful
    If Jurassic Park didn't convince you...

    Please tell me this was a joke.

    We on this planet really know so little about genetic crap...

    Well, no, **YOU** really know so little.

    Sadly, the case with GM is that it will be prevented by the hysterical uninformed and fearful ignorant masses. Just the same as with energy. We could have a world of efficient and modern nuclear power, but, no, everyone, even the supposed smart geek set, has to sit in their caves and wail at the moon and not open their eyes.

    You all only listen to the whispers of agenda-driven boogeymen, and ignore the hard data of the truly informed. This is the shitpile world you deserve. I just wish I didn't have to deal with it as well.

    I now return you to your dark, demon haunted world.

  7. New ventures on Hard Goodbye to Alice and Bill · · Score: 1
    Alice and Bill aren't splitting up: they will continue on together at AliceandBill.com, where they write about technology news and will be happy to accept your kind PayPal donation."

    They are also looking for open-minded bi-curious men and women, or swinging couples, for experimentation and BDSM play. Or maybe I dreamt that. Ignore me.

  8. Re:Download on Cherry OS Claims Mac OS X Capability For x86 · · Score: 4, Funny
    Oh good. I'm growing really tired of mechanical downloads...

    Pfft! Spoiled brats! In my day, we had to download them by hand. Without gloves! In the snow! Uphill!

    And there we're bears! Oh, such bears we had!

  9. Wow on Cherry OS Claims Mac OS X Capability For x86 · · Score: 1
    The possibilities boggle the mind.

    I could run MacOS 10 running in Cherry OS under WinXP running in Virtual PC on a MacOS 10 install within a Cherry OS install inside of...

    And then I can open up some X11 windows and completely lose track of what the hell hardware I'm on!

  10. I'm afraid of new languages on Croquet Project Releases Initial Developer Release · · Score: 3, Funny
    I've always heard the rules for Croquet were really complicated.

    How does it handle run time exceptions, like sticky wickets?

    No, wait, that's Cricket.

    I'm so confused. :(

  11. Re:Alan Kay on Croquet Project Releases Initial Developer Release · · Score: 3, Funny

    Some would say it was Douglas Engelbart over at SRI, but, hey, what are facts in an election year? ;-) I tease...

  12. Let's All Go To The Lobby! on France to Allow Cell Phone Jamming · · Score: 1
    Movie theaters would be great if it weren't for all the other people, the cell phones, the crying babies, the expensive food, the sticky floors, the uncomfortable seats and the boring crap projected up on the screen.

    Other than that they are perfectly fine.

  13. Hi! on Ask Neal Stephenson · · Score: 0, Troll
    I've enjoyed your work, but I'll skip the fanboy fellatio, if that's OK. Not my style.

    Here's mine:

    The world is a vast shitpile populated by an even vaster array of troglodytes, losers, meatheads, jackasses, ignoramuses and low wattage fumblementalists of every political and theological stripe.

    Why should I care about the future? Give me one reason to give a damn about what happens anymore.

  14. Re:goddamnit on PS2 Final Fantasy 7 Spinoff · · Score: 1
    i'd be interested to see how a god i don't believe in would strike me down. in fact, i think it would be worth the death that would come from it.

    Steeerike one! That was called "joking around." It's something "human beings" do when they possess a "sense of humor." Maybe you should get out more.

    there's nothing to be purist about? at all? it makes me sad that you think that - enjoy your corrupted corporate existence then.

    Absolutely 110% LOL! We got a live one here, folks. Wriggle on the hook, fanboy, wriggle! Squirm for me! Squeal like a piggy. You know you love it.

    So because I think it's silly to be purist about a line of game products from a major gaming corporation, *I'm* the one who leads a "corrupted corporate existence"? Wow! That might be the most nonsensical thing I've read on the Internet in, geez, *hours*!

    are you trying to say that final fantasy $NUMBER is closer to actual history?

    Woosh! A swing and a miss! The count is 0 and 2.

    my point is that the story is being bastardized. not history. your point that braveheart is a far cry from the actual history of william wallace is completely unrelated to my point about breaveheart 2.

    Actually it was a dead spot on parallel analogy. Reread it a few hundred times and you may get it. Maybe.

    you say that there's no point in whining about something you disagree with?

    Steeeeeeerike Three! The batter is outtahere!

    if so, then why are you whining about my post? you obviously don't like it so why did you whine about it?

    I didn't whine, I delivered a righteous smackdown upon the unworthy pate of a a whiny sissy fanboy. :-) Now, bark like dog for me, bitch, or I'll take away your rare Tifa/Aerith lesbian scene lithograph.

  15. Re:goddamnit on PS2 Final Fantasy 7 Spinoff · · Score: 1

    Yes, it was cheesy, but so what? It was supposed to be silly. It was FF letting its hair down. You people seriously need to lighten up.

  16. Hmm on Mouse May be Replaced by "Nouse" · · Score: 3, Informative
  17. Re:goddamnit on PS2 Final Fantasy 7 Spinoff · · Score: 3, Funny
    call me a purist

    OK. You're a purist. And God hates fanboy purists, so I'd keep one eye on passing storm clouds.

    I've enjoyed FF from #1 all the way through FFX-2. They're just enjoyable diversions, folks. There's nothing to be "purist" about. FFX-2 was fluffy and fun. Cracking a smile during an RPG will not bring about the Apocalypse.

    bastardization of my favorite stories when there's a continuation made after the story has ended. it's as if there was a braveheart 2 being made.

    No, it's not even on the same continent as the city that contains the ballpark. This comment is particularly ironic considering how Braveheart 1 was a bastardization of actual history.

    Square can do what they want with their properties. I can play them or not. If they produce a sequel I don't like, well, that's life. There's no point in whining like a sissy over it.

  18. Re:No, That's Impossible on Infineon To Pay $160 Million For Fixing RAM Prices · · Score: 2, Interesting
    I know you are kidding, but it's a view held seriously by many over-politicized geeks. I had one at work last month whine about how all the "Enron guys got off scot-free". I pointed him to a web page detailing the indictments and convictions already handed down, along with exactly how complex the case was (hence the delay as cases were prepared), and a little mention of "innocent until proven guilty".

    You should have seen the retarded idiot go through multiple waves of ideological panic in trying to fit the facts into his monochromatic world view. Truly a scary sight. He kept trying to filter and twist the information. A world where Bush was President and Enron executives got punished simply could not exist in his tiny, broken mind.

    I used to think ideology was a mental illness, but these days I think it's just the may most people's brains are wired. It's going to take another 9 million years to evolve away. So, 9 million more years of total and complete fuckheadedness from the bulk of humanity, day in and day out.

    C'moooon asteroid!

  19. Re:"Timeshifted" on Time-Shifting For The iPod · · Score: 1
    "Timeshifted" is the new "previously recorded".

    Uh, well, it's not really all that new. It came about with the inital advent of VCRs.

  20. Let me get this straight on Time-Shifting For The iPod · · Score: 4, Funny
    So "time-shifting" with my iPod does not imply time travel?

    Shit.

    I thought I could just hit the button and turn the volume control to skip back a few minutes.

  21. Alan Moore wrote a great alternate version. on War of the Worlds Remake Already Shot Overseas · · Score: 1
    I'd rather see the League Of Extraordinary Genetlmen Book 2 version of the invasion. They invade because Gullivar Jones and John Carter (and all the creatures and races from those literary universes united) kick their slimy asses off Mars. Edward Hyde singlehandedly downs a MArtian tripod. The Nautilus takes out another. Dr. Moreau creates the hybrid infection that saves the Earth. Good stuff.

    However, because Hollywood royally fucked the first book in the ass until it died of blood loss, that ain't gonna happen. God, I hate that fartsucking place.

  22. Re:The statistic IS significant. on Firefox Browser On An Upward Trend · · Score: 1
    It's not the overall level of FF users that matters -- that's going to be high on a site like Engadget, low elsewhere. It's the fact that it has increased that matters.

    "If we increase the size of the penguin until it is the same height as a man and then compare the relative brain size, we now find that the penguin's brain is still smaller. But, and this is the point, it is larger than it was!"

  23. Pfft! Fool Evolutionist! on Spam Turns 100, By One Reckoning · · Score: 3, Funny

    Everyone knows the first spam was 6,341 years ago when the serpent offered Eve an herbal remedy to not only give Adam more staying power, but add cubits to his manhood. Turns out it was just an apple, and Adam & Eve got blamed for the whole scam and banned by their ISP.

  24. Just rewards on Spam Turns 100, By One Reckoning · · Score: 1
    Let us all take out a moment to consider how to best 'repay' the spammers who followed for the 100 years of 'joy' they have given us. ;)

    Hey! Wipe that grin off your face.

    Repay? How about Hellfire missiles? Then put the survivors in federal prison where lifer rapists can pound them in the ass with mutant cocks.

    Or give me time. I can probably think up something really nasty where the fresh, steaming baboon semen will be the least of their worries.

    Oh, there will be an accounting, a tallying of sums and a distribution of damnation, I tell you.

  25. Re:Oh goody on 378 Terabytes Of Star Wars on 600 G5s · · Score: 1
    I think that ends today's lesson.

    Judges?

    USA: 1

    Russia: 2

    France: 10

    Romulus: 1

    China: 1

    Shanklin, Isle Of Wight: -7

    Sorry, kid. Try again in 4 years.