It seems to me that the Maryland court faces the tremendous, impossible task of preserving the freedom of speech by limiting it.
The first thing we must do when examining this issue is to admit that free speech must be limited, and has been by the Supreme Court of the United States. You are not free to yell "Fire!" in a crowded theatre, nor spread the credit card numbers of your customers, nor speak falsehoods about others that successfully defame them.
The question, however, is what you can say anonymously. Well, when examining the above examples, anonymity or even the expectation of anonymity is irrelevant. The argument that speech is not speech unless attributable to a speaker is faulty: speech is constructed when information is distributed to others, and the anonymous internet poster is no different. The First, Fourth, Sixth, Ninth, and Fourteenth amendments of the Constitution offer no protection for, in this case, defamatory speech.
What is at issue, however, is the feasibility of enforcement. We cannot allow the Courts to be flooded with suits that seek discovery into the identity of anonymous posters. Besides the fact that international posters almost certainly make up a significant portion of these posts, the advent of the library usage or "internet cafés" which allow or even encourage anonymous use make it impossible for the judicial branch to entertain requests for identity inquiries. The idea of a plaintiff's response to an anonymous post qualifying as notice or service of process is naïve and short-sighted.
If the State of Maryland wishes to prevent anonymous defamatory speech, the burden rests mostly with the legislature: enact laws that require identity verification and documentation at all establishments that offer internet access, including libraries, internet cafes, hotel lobbies, and school computer labs. Plus they would need to direct purchasers of internet distribution devices (Wi-Fi) to disable unsecured access to their service by assigning liability for individuals for any traffic sent from their IP address. Ludicrous? Probably not for the State of Maryland. But federally this would be a massive effort.
The other option is also available only to the legislature: limit liability for anonymous speech under the umbrella that the reasonable person should not give weight to such speech, and those that act on its credibility do so unreasonably and, most importantly, unforeseeably from the point of view of the anonymous speaker. That would be a constitutional regulation of speech that would allow feasible internet usage to continue throughout the State, and boldly tell Dunkin Donuts to do what everyone else does: respond with their own anonymous postings praising the taste of their heavenly donuts, admiring the cleanliness of their magnificent facilities, and ridiculing the original poster as a inbred simpleton with multiple venereal diseases.
If the citizen is present in Maryland, and proper service is served on the citizen, then the Court does have jurisdiction.
If he's in China, litigation cannot be pursued because there is no way to enforce a judgement against him.
It also doesn't matter about the laws regarding speech, only the laws of the state where the damage was suffered (there's about a thousand exceptions, see also The Erie Doctrine).
She could not sue you. She could sue the student. Assuming you are not a member of the press, she could also have the Court compel you to divulge the name of the student (though various state laws would likely prevent that name from being released to the public). The student would then join you as a defendant in the suit as the actual cause of the damages. You would have to prove that the student caused the defamation, not your post.
Jurisdiction can be gained in two ways: where the injury occurred (in this case the damage to Dunkin Donuts reputation (a phrase I was positive I would never use)) or in the plaintiff's home state.
I am sure there are more, but it's been a long time since Con Law I (International Shoe).
In the case of the Emily Vance versus the Bathroom Wall Writer of the Baltimore Golden Corral, Men's Room, 2nd Stall, sometime between 6:30 PM on January 25th 2009 and 10:45 PM on January 27th 2009, the Court finds that Emily Vance, with whom the Bathroom Writer suggested a short-term relationship might result in a pleasant outcome, did effectively write on said wall in reply, letting the Bathroom Writer know he or she was the subject of a subpoena. The Bathroom Writer, who knowingly and wantonly failed to respond, is hereby subject to the default judgement of $840,000. The next time the Bathroom Writer writes on that wall, Ms. Vance should let him or her know that he or she is liable.
Anyone who believes that TTS can replace a fully-produced audiobook has never listened to one.
It is ludicrous to think that a computer program could ever mimic the creativity and skill required to evoke emotion from a listener. Most of the audiobooks I have listened to are not simply reading text. Their voices change in speed, volume, timbre, syncopation, and pronunciation.
Take a listen (legally, of course) to Jim Dale's interpretation of the trial of Barty Crouch, Jr. in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. See how you're feeling after the first three discs of World War Z, performed by a full cast, including Alan Alda, John Turturro, Rob Reiner, Mark Hamill, and The Mighty Henry Rollins. Or, if you're particularly interested in destroying any notion that a computer could ever infringe upon the experience of listening to an excellent audiobook, try Rob Inglis's masterful confrontation between Gandalf and Saruman after the last charge of the Ents in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Then you'll understand how much of an idiot the above AC and Roy Blunt, Jr. really are.
Google, could you please forward your concerns to my CIO? I'm sure he would be very interested, especially during an economic downturn, to upgrade 10,000 field PCs and 4500 home office PCs, complete with full regression testing of every application we produce. Oh, don't forget to mention renegotiating four or five dozen vendor maintenance contracts. Thanks.
In the meantime, how about you just suck up supporting IE6, like every other web developer on the planet. You're not going to get a 20% market share of internet users to upgrade by asking.
2. If you sign this when you obviously (and demonstrably - you posted it here!) thought they intended it to mean you had no ownership, the courts will not look kindly on you turning around and saying you don't believe that.
Are you implying that the University would attempt to use the fact that the author asked about the legality of his IP rights on Slashdot as evidence of bad faith against an argument of contractual vagueness? That on the stand, the attorney would produce several screenshots of this very post, hand them to the defendant, and say, "Well, what about these Slashdot posts?" The jury gasps, "He asked about it on Slashdot? He must have known it was illegal. Guilty, guilty, guilty!"
Trust me, it's very clear that you are not a lawyer. I, however, am a lawyer, and can tell you that you really should not become a lawyer. Or post answers to legal questions on Slashdot.
I sure do wish the FDA lived in a vaccuum and did not need to employ experts that previously worked for pharmaceutical companies. Oh, when angels dance on pinheads. To say that lobbyists possess no power regarding our food and drug administration is patently false, but to say they are all-powerful is equally false. The idea, however, that the solution is privatization of this public service is completely ludicrous. See also: deregulation of credit default swaps and mortgage-backed securities.
The United States government chooses to regulate the administration of food and drugs because relying on a for-profit corporation to approve either for general use would be a ridiculous level of authority for such a company to have. You would let the free market control the levels of mercury and strychnine in our drinking water? To reply, "laissez-faire" when the general public is duped by Prescott Pharmaceutical Approval Agency after they approve a muscular dystrophy medication that happens to cause cancer, then reveal they are owned by the company who holds the patent? Imagine if the same board of directors who presided over Enron purchased the certification authority for your raw chicken.
Your comparison to kosher authentication is disingenuous: there is no issue of public safety in approving foods as Kosher. There is a significant risk when it comes to the food and drugs available in the American marketplace.
The FDA exists solely for our well being. Its entire existence is based upon the principle of keeping all of us away from harm. I am comforted by the fact that it does not consider the profitability of the organization when considering a food preparation method or release of a new prescription drug. I hope you would be, too.
This is the most ridiculous advice I have ever heard. The idea that you can avoid service of process by using a post office box made me believe you were being funny, but the rest of your advice makes me think you genuinely assert these flimsy methods as a way to avoid liability (or, I guess, to accept liability without accepting the consequences). A professional process server would find you within hours. I would pierce your corporate veil with even the most basic legal attacks and have free access to garnish wages and seize any property you own, and I don't have several hundred thousand dollars to pay a legal team who would eat you for breakfast. Your offshore accounts would land you in a federal penitentiary. Please do not listen to this crazy person.
I am an attorney, but am only licensed to practice law in Missouri and Illinois. So if you do not live in one of these two states, please stop reading this. Or, if you must continue, consider it hypothetical.
Yes, you absolutely can be sued for copying even the idea of a software product from a company you used to work for.
Even if no line of code matches up.
Even if every line of code bears no resemblance to any line of code previously written.
Even if it were in a different language or on a different platform.
Even if you made significant improvements.
Even if their implementation was unfeasible and doomed to failure.
They will argue that you could not have written your code without the ideas (read: intellectual property) gleaned during their employ. You will almost certainly be liable for copyright infringement, and as you would now be competing with them, they will almost certainly devote significant resources to prevent you from releasing it to the market. Or they could wait until later and simply take your profits, enjoin you from selling it ever again, and add punitive damages as well.
You could reverse engineer it, but at some point, you must pay your old company for the product.
The skill of determining how long an IT development effort will take is something only expereince can give. It was never mentioned during my computer science education and I doubt is emphasized by anyone in academia today, but in the profession it is sacrosanct. Ask them about their last estimation effort. Then ask the 23-year-old what he would do. I can practically guarantee the experienced programmer's answer was superior.
Don't worry, guys, I'm sure Lucius Fox will destroy the computer that holds all the phone calls recorded by this app. He's just going to use it to find the bomb. And then track down the guys who planted the bomb. Might as well find Osama while he's at it. Plus he should do a quick check on who's talking about the Nation of Islam. Wait-- don't turn your phone off! Don't you need to "call" your girlfriend tonight?
Yeah, because the Republican Party is so trustworthy.
See Also:
Karl Rove
Jack Abramoff
Sen. Ted Stevens
I. "Scooter" Libby
Alberto Gonzalez
Lester Crawford
V.P. Dick Cheney
Karl Rove
Armstrong Williams
Paul Wolfowitz
Richard Convertino
Christine Todd Whitman
Thomas Scully
Randall Tobias
Karl Rove
Gov. Sarah Palin (see: Troopergate Memo)
Darleen Druyun
Chuck McGee
Rep. Duke Cunningham
Rep. Bob Ney
Pretty Much Anyone from Halliburton
Porter Goss
Dusty Foggo
Thomas Noe
John Gannon (honestly, can anyone beat this story?)
John Ashcroft
Larry Franklin
Karl Rove
Justice Antonin Scalia
Donald Keyser
Rep. Mark Foley
Rep. Tom Delay
Michael Scanlon
Rep. John Doolittle (best name evar for a Congressman)
Sec. Steven Griles
Karl Rove
Karl Rove
Karl Rove
He uninstalled a mediocre, at best, third-person shooter. I agree with the start of the thread, Gears of War wasn't even a good game.
You know, I originally thought I was just going to reply and say that we disagree and both our opinions are valid. But instead I've decided to actually disprove what you are saying.
It's a third-person shooter (and that in itself is bad)
I played Gears of War 1 on the PC. And while it was kinda pretty, I closed and uninstalled it when I was unable to jump over an obstacle that didn't even reach my knees.
Hint: hold "up" and hit your action key. gg uninstalling a great FPS because you can't figure out a large icon at the bottom of your screen indicating how to jump over an obstacle.
I spent six months (while nursing a Final Fantasy X and Everquest habit) trying to find a job after graduating with a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science in 2001. It's a harrowing experience, especially if you're just searching job sites, firing off a few resumes, and twiddling your thumbs for the rest of the day. Sounds like you've got a mediocre job to pay the bills, which is both good and bad: positively, your depression about being unemployed does not fuel your boredom which does not fuel your depression, but it's very tough to get anything extremely productive done while working 9-5.
1) First off, get feedback on your current resume from a professional, either in IT or HR. If there's some glaring error you've missed or you've got it formatted in Comic Sans (GAH!), no one will read it no matter what you do.
2) Networking is the key. Finding other people and talking to them about how they got their start in IT, what they're doing right now, and if they've heard of anyone hiring entry-level programmers is the fastest way to get a job, period. End of story.
3) You don't need certifications, but they certainly don't hurt. Check your local community college for professional certification classes for cheap (cheaper than the big books or programs) or find an online resource for passing those pesky exams.
4) Never underestimate the importance of keywords. Getting an IT person to actually read your resume is the goal, and standing between you and them is an underpaid, overworked HR person. The IT Hiring Manager gave them a list of skills that they need, and it's the HR person's job to gather as many resumes as possible that meet the required skill list. So what can you do? Figure out ways to get more keywords on your resume. If you're seeing a lot of jobs that require Hibernate or Struts but have never used them, swing by your library or head over to Amazon Marketplace to find a couple books on the subject. Read up and voilà: you can add it to your "Programming Languages" section. Now, the IT Hiring Manager may shoot you down because you have no professional experience with the language and I certainly don't recommend lying about your level of experience (don't bother, they will find out and they will fire you), but getting past the HR person is a big step.
5) Find an Open Source project using technologies you want to work on! There's nothing better than getting intimate knowledge of a new program or methodology by working on the project, and companies using those new technologies need people proficient in them. If nothing else, it's another bullet point under your "Experience" section.
6) Fax your resume whenever possible. It's much more likely to be read since an HR person can't just throw it in a directory and search for keywords.
Here's what *I* would do. (And since I have the mental prowess to successfully log into Slashdot my opinion must be worthwhile!)
Their argument that "everyone else has done it" is faulty; this only states that everyone else is complacent. You could debate that telling truth to power and standing up to what you believe is wrong comes with the package of you as an employee, and you wouldn't fit into a position where conformity is expected.
Their "profiling" of people with poor credit as risk management may be well-founded. It's obvious that their management believes it, and your refusal implies a disregard for authority and possibly disrespect towards its proprietors. Offer alternative methods, such as more professional and personal references instead. This way management has a way to back down without losing face.
In the end, odds are good you'll have to submit or find another job. There's no legality that says this is unfair or unjust, and your only other bargaining chip is that they would have to find another candidate (which, in this economy, is not hard).
Slashdot Mirror
It's like there's nothing you can do about that joke. It's coming, and you just have to stand there.
V for Vendetta, most likely. Although Maus should really be interchangeable with either of them, if we're discussing "importance".
It seems to me that the Maryland court faces the tremendous, impossible task of preserving the freedom of speech by limiting it.
The first thing we must do when examining this issue is to admit that free speech must be limited, and has been by the Supreme Court of the United States. You are not free to yell "Fire!" in a crowded theatre, nor spread the credit card numbers of your customers, nor speak falsehoods about others that successfully defame them.
The question, however, is what you can say anonymously. Well, when examining the above examples, anonymity or even the expectation of anonymity is irrelevant. The argument that speech is not speech unless attributable to a speaker is faulty: speech is constructed when information is distributed to others, and the anonymous internet poster is no different. The First, Fourth, Sixth, Ninth, and Fourteenth amendments of the Constitution offer no protection for, in this case, defamatory speech.
What is at issue, however, is the feasibility of enforcement. We cannot allow the Courts to be flooded with suits that seek discovery into the identity of anonymous posters. Besides the fact that international posters almost certainly make up a significant portion of these posts, the advent of the library usage or "internet cafés" which allow or even encourage anonymous use make it impossible for the judicial branch to entertain requests for identity inquiries. The idea of a plaintiff's response to an anonymous post qualifying as notice or service of process is naïve and short-sighted.
If the State of Maryland wishes to prevent anonymous defamatory speech, the burden rests mostly with the legislature: enact laws that require identity verification and documentation at all establishments that offer internet access, including libraries, internet cafes, hotel lobbies, and school computer labs. Plus they would need to direct purchasers of internet distribution devices (Wi-Fi) to disable unsecured access to their service by assigning liability for individuals for any traffic sent from their IP address. Ludicrous? Probably not for the State of Maryland. But federally this would be a massive effort.
The other option is also available only to the legislature: limit liability for anonymous speech under the umbrella that the reasonable person should not give weight to such speech, and those that act on its credibility do so unreasonably and, most importantly, unforeseeably from the point of view of the anonymous speaker. That would be a constitutional regulation of speech that would allow feasible internet usage to continue throughout the State, and boldly tell Dunkin Donuts to do what everyone else does: respond with their own anonymous postings praising the taste of their heavenly donuts, admiring the cleanliness of their magnificent facilities, and ridiculing the original poster as a inbred simpleton with multiple venereal diseases.
Case closed.
If the citizen is present in Maryland, and proper service is served on the citizen, then the Court does have jurisdiction.
If he's in China, litigation cannot be pursued because there is no way to enforce a judgement against him.
It also doesn't matter about the laws regarding speech, only the laws of the state where the damage was suffered (there's about a thousand exceptions, see also The Erie Doctrine).
She could not sue you. She could sue the student. Assuming you are not a member of the press, she could also have the Court compel you to divulge the name of the student (though various state laws would likely prevent that name from being released to the public). The student would then join you as a defendant in the suit as the actual cause of the damages. You would have to prove that the student caused the defamation, not your post.
Jurisdiction can be gained in two ways: where the injury occurred (in this case the damage to Dunkin Donuts reputation (a phrase I was positive I would never use)) or in the plaintiff's home state. I am sure there are more, but it's been a long time since Con Law I (International Shoe).
In the case of the Emily Vance versus the Bathroom Wall Writer of the Baltimore Golden Corral, Men's Room, 2nd Stall, sometime between 6:30 PM on January 25th 2009 and 10:45 PM on January 27th 2009, the Court finds that Emily Vance, with whom the Bathroom Writer suggested a short-term relationship might result in a pleasant outcome, did effectively write on said wall in reply, letting the Bathroom Writer know he or she was the subject of a subpoena. The Bathroom Writer, who knowingly and wantonly failed to respond, is hereby subject to the default judgement of $840,000. The next time the Bathroom Writer writes on that wall, Ms. Vance should let him or her know that he or she is liable.
Anyone who believes that TTS can replace a fully-produced audiobook has never listened to one.
It is ludicrous to think that a computer program could ever mimic the creativity and skill required to evoke emotion from a listener. Most of the audiobooks I have listened to are not simply reading text. Their voices change in speed, volume, timbre, syncopation, and pronunciation.
Take a listen (legally, of course) to Jim Dale's interpretation of the trial of Barty Crouch, Jr. in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. See how you're feeling after the first three discs of World War Z, performed by a full cast, including Alan Alda, John Turturro, Rob Reiner, Mark Hamill, and The Mighty Henry Rollins. Or, if you're particularly interested in destroying any notion that a computer could ever infringe upon the experience of listening to an excellent audiobook, try Rob Inglis's masterful confrontation between Gandalf and Saruman after the last charge of the Ents in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Then you'll understand how much of an idiot the above AC and Roy Blunt, Jr. really are.
Google, could you please forward your concerns to my CIO? I'm sure he would be very interested, especially during an economic downturn, to upgrade 10,000 field PCs and 4500 home office PCs, complete with full regression testing of every application we produce. Oh, don't forget to mention renegotiating four or five dozen vendor maintenance contracts. Thanks. In the meantime, how about you just suck up supporting IE6, like every other web developer on the planet. You're not going to get a 20% market share of internet users to upgrade by asking.
2. If you sign this when you obviously (and demonstrably - you posted it here!) thought they intended it to mean you had no ownership, the courts will not look kindly on you turning around and saying you don't believe that.
Are you implying that the University would attempt to use the fact that the author asked about the legality of his IP rights on Slashdot as evidence of bad faith against an argument of contractual vagueness? That on the stand, the attorney would produce several screenshots of this very post, hand them to the defendant, and say, "Well, what about these Slashdot posts?" The jury gasps, "He asked about it on Slashdot? He must have known it was illegal. Guilty, guilty, guilty!"
Trust me, it's very clear that you are not a lawyer. I, however, am a lawyer, and can tell you that you really should not become a lawyer. Or post answers to legal questions on Slashdot.
I sure do wish the FDA lived in a vaccuum and did not need to employ experts that previously worked for pharmaceutical companies. Oh, when angels dance on pinheads. To say that lobbyists possess no power regarding our food and drug administration is patently false, but to say they are all-powerful is equally false. The idea, however, that the solution is privatization of this public service is completely ludicrous. See also: deregulation of credit default swaps and mortgage-backed securities.
The United States government chooses to regulate the administration of food and drugs because relying on a for-profit corporation to approve either for general use would be a ridiculous level of authority for such a company to have. You would let the free market control the levels of mercury and strychnine in our drinking water? To reply, "laissez-faire" when the general public is duped by Prescott Pharmaceutical Approval Agency after they approve a muscular dystrophy medication that happens to cause cancer, then reveal they are owned by the company who holds the patent? Imagine if the same board of directors who presided over Enron purchased the certification authority for your raw chicken.
Your comparison to kosher authentication is disingenuous: there is no issue of public safety in approving foods as Kosher. There is a significant risk when it comes to the food and drugs available in the American marketplace.
The FDA exists solely for our well being. Its entire existence is based upon the principle of keeping all of us away from harm. I am comforted by the fact that it does not consider the profitability of the organization when considering a food preparation method or release of a new prescription drug. I hope you would be, too.
This is the most ridiculous advice I have ever heard. The idea that you can avoid service of process by using a post office box made me believe you were being funny, but the rest of your advice makes me think you genuinely assert these flimsy methods as a way to avoid liability (or, I guess, to accept liability without accepting the consequences). A professional process server would find you within hours. I would pierce your corporate veil with even the most basic legal attacks and have free access to garnish wages and seize any property you own, and I don't have several hundred thousand dollars to pay a legal team who would eat you for breakfast. Your offshore accounts would land you in a federal penitentiary. Please do not listen to this crazy person.
I am an attorney, but am only licensed to practice law in Missouri and Illinois. So if you do not live in one of these two states, please stop reading this. Or, if you must continue, consider it hypothetical.
Yes, you absolutely can be sued for copying even the idea of a software product from a company you used to work for.
They will argue that you could not have written your code without the ideas (read: intellectual property) gleaned during their employ. You will almost certainly be liable for copyright infringement, and as you would now be competing with them, they will almost certainly devote significant resources to prevent you from releasing it to the market. Or they could wait until later and simply take your profits, enjoin you from selling it ever again, and add punitive damages as well.
You could reverse engineer it, but at some point, you must pay your old company for the product.
Project. Estimation.
The skill of determining how long an IT development effort will take is something only expereince can give. It was never mentioned during my computer science education and I doubt is emphasized by anyone in academia today, but in the profession it is sacrosanct. Ask them about their last estimation effort. Then ask the 23-year-old what he would do. I can practically guarantee the experienced programmer's answer was superior.
Don't worry, guys, I'm sure Lucius Fox will destroy the computer that holds all the phone calls recorded by this app. He's just going to use it to find the bomb. And then track down the guys who planted the bomb. Might as well find Osama while he's at it. Plus he should do a quick check on who's talking about the Nation of Islam. Wait-- don't turn your phone off! Don't you need to "call" your girlfriend tonight?
Yeah, I mean, it's not like foreign policy really has any effect at all on the way our country is run or anything.
Be quiet and eat your freedom fries.
The only thing I can hope for is that the Republicans can filibuster the Democrats' bills.
You forgot "then attack the legislative branch because it can't get anything done".
Yeah, because the Republican Party is so trustworthy. See Also: Karl Rove Jack Abramoff Sen. Ted Stevens I. "Scooter" Libby Alberto Gonzalez Lester Crawford V.P. Dick Cheney Karl Rove Armstrong Williams Paul Wolfowitz Richard Convertino Christine Todd Whitman Thomas Scully Randall Tobias Karl Rove Gov. Sarah Palin (see: Troopergate Memo) Darleen Druyun Chuck McGee Rep. Duke Cunningham Rep. Bob Ney Pretty Much Anyone from Halliburton Porter Goss Dusty Foggo Thomas Noe John Gannon (honestly, can anyone beat this story?) John Ashcroft Larry Franklin Karl Rove Justice Antonin Scalia Donald Keyser Rep. Mark Foley Rep. Tom Delay Michael Scanlon Rep. John Doolittle (best name evar for a Congressman) Sec. Steven Griles Karl Rove Karl Rove Karl Rove
He uninstalled a mediocre, at best, third-person shooter. I agree with the start of the thread, Gears of War wasn't even a good game.
You know, I originally thought I was just going to reply and say that we disagree and both our opinions are valid. But instead I've decided to actually disprove what you are saying.
It's a third-person shooter (and that in itself is bad)
False. http://www.gamerankings.com/htmlpages2/942000.asp and http://www.metacritic.com/games/platforms/pc/gearsofwar both show high marks, ~87%, with the X360 version getting even higher scores. Even Gamespot gave it an 8.7. So, unless the entire community of game critics is crazy, being a third-person shooter is not, in itself, bad.
absolutely nothing fun
False. Over 5 million copies worldwide, including 1 for me, and I know I had fun.
Why the article spent so much time fawning over Epic's worst game is beyond me.
False. See also, One Must Fall: 2097.
gg. Feel free to tell me you didn't like it, but don't tell me it's bad because you can't figure out how to look over someone's shoulder.
I played Gears of War 1 on the PC. And while it was kinda pretty, I closed and uninstalled it when I was unable to jump over an obstacle that didn't even reach my knees.
Hint: hold "up" and hit your action key. gg uninstalling a great FPS because you can't figure out a large icon at the bottom of your screen indicating how to jump over an obstacle.
I spent six months (while nursing a Final Fantasy X and Everquest habit) trying to find a job after graduating with a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science in 2001. It's a harrowing experience, especially if you're just searching job sites, firing off a few resumes, and twiddling your thumbs for the rest of the day. Sounds like you've got a mediocre job to pay the bills, which is both good and bad: positively, your depression about being unemployed does not fuel your boredom which does not fuel your depression, but it's very tough to get anything extremely productive done while working 9-5.
1) First off, get feedback on your current resume from a professional, either in IT or HR. If there's some glaring error you've missed or you've got it formatted in Comic Sans (GAH!), no one will read it no matter what you do.
2) Networking is the key. Finding other people and talking to them about how they got their start in IT, what they're doing right now, and if they've heard of anyone hiring entry-level programmers is the fastest way to get a job, period. End of story.
3) You don't need certifications, but they certainly don't hurt. Check your local community college for professional certification classes for cheap (cheaper than the big books or programs) or find an online resource for passing those pesky exams.
4) Never underestimate the importance of keywords. Getting an IT person to actually read your resume is the goal, and standing between you and them is an underpaid, overworked HR person. The IT Hiring Manager gave them a list of skills that they need, and it's the HR person's job to gather as many resumes as possible that meet the required skill list. So what can you do? Figure out ways to get more keywords on your resume. If you're seeing a lot of jobs that require Hibernate or Struts but have never used them, swing by your library or head over to Amazon Marketplace to find a couple books on the subject. Read up and voilà: you can add it to your "Programming Languages" section. Now, the IT Hiring Manager may shoot you down because you have no professional experience with the language and I certainly don't recommend lying about your level of experience (don't bother, they will find out and they will fire you), but getting past the HR person is a big step.
5) Find an Open Source project using technologies you want to work on! There's nothing better than getting intimate knowledge of a new program or methodology by working on the project, and companies using those new technologies need people proficient in them. If nothing else, it's another bullet point under your "Experience" section.
6) Fax your resume whenever possible. It's much more likely to be read since an HR person can't just throw it in a directory and search for keywords.
Good luck!
Here's what *I* would do. (And since I have the mental prowess to successfully log into Slashdot my opinion must be worthwhile!)
In the end, odds are good you'll have to submit or find another job. There's no legality that says this is unfair or unjust, and your only other bargaining chip is that they would have to find another candidate (which, in this economy, is not hard).