Mr Software Developer went to the house of the big bad tyrant Micro Soft. He wanted to help develop his applications with him, but Micro Soft was an evil man.
"I'll let you have my source code" he said, out of character. Mr Software Developer took his source, but before he could leave, Micro Soft bent him over and raped him up the ass, stealing money out of his back pocket with every thrust.
-
The moral, boys and girls, is somewhat simple...
Microsoft's definition of Open Source = being assraped by Bill for all eternity. It's not open source, it's closed source with a pinhole leak.
1. If your relatives even THINK about buying a "How To Do Just About Anythig On A PC" type book, tell them to cram it up their ass. They will end up hitting themselves with it, as they will only know how to do things one way. And also, send over a copy of RHL8.0 Unleashed.
2. Remember this quote: "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." If you end up screwing something else up while fixing/twiddling, blame it on something else...
3: If they call up, ask them to look in the help menu, or just yell READ THE FUCKING MANUAL!!!!! I have had to do this many times!
4: If they ask you for a PC, homebuild it, install Linux and print out a cheatsheet, with all of the commands and help they could ever need on it...also, give them the exact system spec and also what to say to those who want to install Windows:D
5: All of these are synonyms for "I can't be assed." Learn them.
"Why can't I just use Windows" "I used to be able to...etc" "It won't do what I tell it to" "You do it, I don't know etc."
6: Finally, if you do install Linux (which you should) install KDe and set it up to look JUST like Mac OS X. You then have a cheap computer with lots of speed, Linux power and apps, all of kde-look.org and a dynamite UI. I recommend Mosfet Liquid and the wallpaper at my FTP site.
You should be a happy puppy after keeping to this advice! It worked for me!
Lindows kicks ass as a solution for desktop. Click n Run is just what is needed-Windows Update, minus the idiocy.
Red Hat Linux 8.0 is great-it comes with software that would be worth over $1000 if bought commercially. It's brilliant. I use it every day. A computer illiterate relative uses it great. It, also, kicks ass.
Lycoris is a mad combination of Red Hat and Lindows. All the apps you need with an XP interface.
Linux will smash the balls off of everything on the desktop. Just wait and see.
My grandmother lives about 500 miles away from me, and while on an extended break at her place (god help me) I said that I'd install XP for her (I have since been enlightened).
I installed it. It installed fine. I had all the drivers and they would work perfectly or so I thought.
So I installed the drivers, and they all worked...apart from the modem. This was a WinModem supplied by Tiny Computer, and it refused to play. It connected and stayed that way for about 5 minutes then fell into coma. Boom.
Luckily, this was on my last day there, so I blamed the problem on BT (her ISP) and ran.
Now, the shit has hit the fan and I'm now never allowed near her PC again...whee.
My three conclusions are thus:
1) Always carry a three disc set of Red Hat 8.0. 2) Set fire to all copies of Windows XP you may have. 3) Try and convert old people to being Amish. Saves you trouble.
This Fortune 50 company is...
DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN.....
Microsoft.
If so, stop trying to get blood from a stone. More likely, a boulder. or asteroid. Or planet.
There are two uses for this thing. Only one isn't boring.
a) office apps b) PORN!!!!
Yup, two pornos at once. Make watching porn like reading one of those crappy books on Harry Potter!
Actually, I wish I hadn't just associated Harry Potter with porn, the mental image will make me kill people some day. (runs into forest to plot murders, then comes back after reading this and realising (if the floon is right) planets will do it for him).
One of Isambard Kingdom Brunel's ships (The United Kingdom) had a skeleton found in it. He was painting the ships innards when he was riveted in, and was forced to drink paint. This was the 1800s.
Anyway, the phrase I'd like to use here is "fuck you WB." They screw us out of our money with their media black hole, AOL Time Warner, and then they deprive us of a kickass DVD. To AOLTW, and anybody who helped kill off this DVD, I give this
Why don't we fully launch the technology that we already have before having another one shoved up us, huh? The same goes for Longhorn, bastard child of Satan that it is.
Rant over. We shall return to normal ops now, or whatever the hell normal is on/.
Data General's AOS/VS operating system had an undocumented command named "XYZZY." In the original 16-bit version, the response was: "Nothing happens." In a later 32-bit version, this was amended to: "Twice as much nothing happens."
2. Using a network managed by total and utter collective incompetence.
TBH, that they also chose to buy expensive smartcard reader keyboards which, as of yet, have about as much use as a chocolate teapot with a fudge centre (utterly pointless and you can't fill it with things) points to option 2.
Ah well, I have my custom wallpaper with a rant about my Red Hat system at home being better than theirs =D
Slashdot Mirror
Mr Software Developer went to the house of the big bad tyrant Micro Soft. He wanted to help develop his applications with him, but Micro Soft was an evil man.
"I'll let you have my source code" he said, out of character. Mr Software Developer took his source, but before he could leave, Micro Soft bent him over and raped him up the ass, stealing money out of his back pocket with every thrust.
-
The moral, boys and girls, is somewhat simple...
Microsoft's definition of Open Source = being assraped by Bill for all eternity. It's not open source, it's closed source with a pinhole leak.
This should answer your question...
When they get a bug free Windows, they'll have to put some in just so bored /. readers have something to laugh at....
Yes, I've posted enough, but here goes :D
:D
1. If your relatives even THINK about buying a "How To Do Just About Anythig On A PC" type book, tell them to cram it up their ass. They will end up hitting themselves with it, as they will only know how to do things one way. And also, send over a copy of RHL8.0 Unleashed.
2. Remember this quote: "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." If you end up screwing something else up while fixing/twiddling, blame it on something else...
3: If they call up, ask them to look in the help menu, or just yell READ THE FUCKING MANUAL!!!!! I have had to do this many times!
4: If they ask you for a PC, homebuild it, install Linux and print out a cheatsheet, with all of the commands and help they could ever need on it...also, give them the exact system spec and also what to say to those who want to install Windows
5: All of these are synonyms for "I can't be assed." Learn them.
"Why can't I just use Windows"
"I used to be able to...etc"
"It won't do what I tell it to"
"You do it, I don't know etc."
6: Finally, if you do install Linux (which you should) install KDe and set it up to look JUST like Mac OS X. You then have a cheap computer with lots of speed, Linux power and apps, all of kde-look.org and a dynamite UI. I recommend Mosfet Liquid and the wallpaper at my FTP site.
You should be a happy puppy after keeping to this advice! It worked for me!
Pile of wank
Lindows kicks ass as a solution for desktop. Click n Run is just what is needed-Windows Update, minus the idiocy.
Red Hat Linux 8.0 is great-it comes with software that would be worth over $1000 if bought commercially. It's brilliant. I use it every day. A computer illiterate relative uses it great. It, also, kicks ass.
Lycoris is a mad combination of Red Hat and Lindows. All the apps you need with an XP interface.
Linux will smash the balls off of everything on the desktop. Just wait and see.
Do you think that Linux will ever overtake MS and Apple on the desktop? If so, why and how? If not, again why?
My grandmother lives about 500 miles away from me, and while on an extended break at her place (god help me) I said that I'd install XP for her (I have since been enlightened).
I installed it. It installed fine. I had all the drivers and they would work perfectly or so I thought.
So I installed the drivers, and they all worked...apart from the modem. This was a WinModem supplied by Tiny Computer, and it refused to play. It connected and stayed that way for about 5 minutes then fell into coma. Boom.
Luckily, this was on my last day there, so I blamed the problem on BT (her ISP) and ran.
Now, the shit has hit the fan and I'm now never allowed near her PC again...whee.
My three conclusions are thus:
1) Always carry a three disc set of Red Hat 8.0.
2) Set fire to all copies of Windows XP you may have.
3) Try and convert old people to being Amish. Saves you trouble.
Oh yeah, FP!!! I got FP!!!! w00t! (if of course, to be FP you have to be first with your threshold set to 3)...:D
If it gets hot, will it fry as much as if it had been Slashdotted?
If so, SIZZLE, Penguin, SIZZLE!!!...!!!!
"HAL's attitude was "oh well, sorry about that!""
BRILLIANT obfuscation there!!!!
This Fortune 50 company is... DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN..... Microsoft. If so, stop trying to get blood from a stone. More likely, a boulder. or asteroid. Or planet.
Mmm...
:)
It powers nights out.
It powers madness
It powers streetcrime.
It powers cars.
It powers conception.
NOW IT POWERS YOUR PC!!!
IT POWERS EVERYTHING GOOD IN LIFE!!!
YAY!!!
Now, when are they releasing methanol powered Beowulf clusters?
"If you prefer the Windows GUI, that's cool. But pleast don't make blanket statements like that, for things that are ultimatelly personal taste."
;)
I don't like the Windows GUI. MS never update all the icons in one go, meaning we still have the asshole-like Win95 icons.
Compare and contrast with my desktop running Enlightenment on Red Hat Linux 8.0 which looks great, has not out of place icons and kicks ass.
As you can see, I like Mac OS X's GUI. Who doesn't?
ps: that wallpaper is on my FTP server
There are two uses for this thing. Only one isn't boring.
a) office apps
b) PORN!!!!
Yup, two pornos at once. Make watching porn like reading one of those crappy books on Harry Potter!
Actually, I wish I hadn't just associated Harry Potter with porn, the mental image will make me kill people some day. (runs into forest to plot murders, then comes back after reading this and realising (if the floon is right) planets will do it for him).
I don't know why I just said all that. Neh.
I remember seeing that on The Fantasy Channel... Superdong? =D
They didn't make him drink it. He did it himself...
:)
Mmm, lead flavour and sharpness
One of Isambard Kingdom Brunel's ships (The United Kingdom) had a skeleton found in it. He was painting the ships innards when he was riveted in, and was forced to drink paint. This was the 1800s.
:)
Yup, the Brits rule
NO!
/\ MM /\ MM MM /\ I
YOU FAIL IT!!!!
SOrry, couldn't help myself.
Anyway, the phrase I'd like to use here is "fuck you WB." They screw us out of our money with their media black hole, AOL Time Warner, and then they deprive us of a kickass DVD. To AOLTW, and anybody who helped kill off this DVD, I give this
V
I \/ II \/ II II I-I o
Why don't we fully launch the technology that we already have before having another one shoved up us, huh? The same goes for Longhorn, bastard child of Satan that it is.
/.
Rant over. We shall return to normal ops now, or whatever the hell normal is on
Isn't XYZZY that cheat for Minesweeper (W95)?
I haven't written anything, but I find it quite funny that Red Hat 8 has a package called cannalibs...
In Britain, those staff could reserve the right to kill you =D
TBH, that they also chose to buy expensive smartcard reader keyboards which, as of yet, have about as much use as a chocolate teapot with a fudge centre (utterly pointless and you can't fill it with things) points to option 2.
Ah well, I have my custom wallpaper with a rant about my Red Hat system at home being better than theirs =D
Blonde, redhead... Sorry, Matrix joke =D
My pikey KDE fileserve will probably be /.ed in about 3 minutes. Nevertheless:
Boom goes my PC!