I regret to have to inform you JESUS, SON OF GOD, is leaving your blog. Since I have found a girlfriend again, I will no longer be able to keep hanging around here wasting my time, my life and my brains. But rest assured, for one day I will return in a flaming chariot escorted by cherubs or something equally stylish but better suited for this beautiful medium called AOL.
Yours truly,
JESUS (The Son of God.)
If anyone is interrested in taking over my earthly account, just pray a lot and ask my dad. He'll know.
/---
PATER NOSTER, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo.
You know, really, I don't think trolling JesusGeeks is funny. It's too easy, it's like the difference between trying to beat up little kids and the difference between trying to beat up your friends. Your friends can handle it, and it's all good fun 'till they kick you in the gonads.
Wait. Did that make more sense than the stuff I said some 1970 years ago?
And I certainly didn't beat anyone over the head with it. And if I did, you're supposed to turn your other head to me or something, and not post links to websites that are an ABOMINATION to the LORD.
Jesus, why are some developers so delusional that they envision themselves as these important cool people that the rest of the world finds so interesting.
This one's easy, it's because they're PROUD. Yup, they're sinners alright.
Anyway, my dad says they're sinning against the 10TH COMMANDMENT. Are *YOU* sinning against the 10th commandment? Here's a checklist:
Have I envied others? either their lives or their goods?
Have I desired anything that was another's?
Have I damaged or destroyed the possessions or property of others?
Have I desired things God has not given me?
Have I been discontent with my life?
Have I held back anything due to another because I wanted it myself or for any other reason?
Have I hoped for the downfall of another so that I might gain by it?
Have I failed to be gracious and generous to anyone?
Have I wanted from God what I refused to give to a fellow man: forgiveness? goods? grace? physical or spiritual blessings?
Have I been greedy?
Have I been jealous of another person's goods, money, appearance, success, love, popularity, being loved by another or others?
Have a violated copyright by illegally downloading music, films or software?
Have I concentrated my time, efforts and thoughts on the things of the world rather than on the things of the spirit?
Slashdot Mirror
Dear Sirs,
I regret to have to inform you JESUS,
SON OF GOD, is leaving your blog. Since
I have found a girlfriend again, I will
no longer be able to keep hanging around
here wasting my time, my life and my
brains. But rest assured, for one day
I will return in a flaming chariot
escorted by cherubs or something equally
stylish but better suited for this
beautiful medium called AOL.
Yours truly,
JESUS
(The Son of God.)
If anyone is interrested in taking over
my earthly account, just pray a lot and
ask my dad. He'll know.
/---
PATER NOSTER, qui es in caelis,
sanctificetur nomen tuum.
Adveniat regnum tuum.
Fiat voluntas tua,
sicut in caelo et in terra.
Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie,
et dimitte nobis debita nostra
sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.
Et ne nos inducas in tentationem,
sed libera nos a malo.
Amen.
... and you will all realise I love you all very very much.
So on your knees bitches and give Jesus some sweet loving back.
Shoutout to my man Mohammed, The Seal Of The Prophets! Preach on Brotha! Oink! Oink! Oink!
(you gotta *love* his fur; will make me a fine loincloth one day)
Wow! Free windows! I bet the chicks dig that!
Ok. Here we go.
Sit still.
Close ONE eye.
Look in front of you and try to guess distances and stuff while keeping your head and your EYES fixed.
Open both eyes.
Look in front of you and try to guess distances and stuff while keeping your head and your EYES fixed.
Notice any difference? If not, please consult your local optician.
you're welcome.
You wouldn't recognize The Internationale if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing itself.
Hmm, dude. You are in space. On a rock in space to be precise.
I know I shouldn't be the guy tell you this, you know, 'cause of the thing with Galileo Galilei and all that, but really, you're in space already.
Gosh. Youbettacha! I wouldn't want that to happen, now would I?
NOW WOULD I?!?!?!?!
Yeah, like my dad did. People still can't figure out what he like did in this book he wrote.
I used to know this leader of a suicide cult who got really close, but then his `treatment' started.
Heh, dad's not gonna like some carrot munching bisexual hollywood whore taking over his bizz!
No it doesn't.
Ha! Compress THAT!
Shoutout to all my homies in da 'hood. Jesus loves ya, and y'all knew that, 'aight!
I hear cancer hasn't been cured yet...
You know, I found quite a pretty cure for cancer, but unfortunately the lameness filter kept me from posting it here.
Yeah. I told those mofo's at Golgotha I'd have my revenge on them!
Didn't that make it to the book?
You know, really, I don't think trolling JesusGeeks is funny. It's too easy, it's like the difference between trying to beat up little kids and the difference between trying to beat up your friends. Your friends can handle it, and it's all good fun 'till they kick you in the gonads.
Wait. Did that make more sense than the stuff I said some 1970 years ago?
Let's hope so...
I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT VIDEOCARDS!
And I certainly didn't beat anyone over the head with it. And if I did, you're supposed to turn your other head to me or something, and not post links to websites that are an ABOMINATION to the LORD.
Jesus, why are some developers so delusional that they envision themselves as these important cool people that the rest of the world finds so interesting.
This one's easy, it's because they're PROUD. Yup, they're sinners alright.
Anyway, my dad says they're sinning against the 10TH COMMANDMENT. Are *YOU* sinning against the 10th commandment? Here's a checklist:
Have I envied others? either their lives or their goods?
Have I desired anything that was another's?
Have I damaged or destroyed the possessions or property of others?
Have I desired things God has not given me?
Have I been discontent with my life?
Have I held back anything due to another because I wanted it myself or for any other reason?
Have I hoped for the downfall of another so that I might gain by it?
Have I failed to be gracious and generous to anyone?
Have I wanted from God what I refused to give to a fellow man: forgiveness? goods? grace? physical or spiritual blessings?
Have I been greedy?
Have I been jealous of another person's goods, money, appearance, success, love, popularity, being loved by another or others?
Have a violated copyright by illegally downloading music, films or software?
Have I concentrated my time, efforts and thoughts on the things of the world rather than on the things of the spirit?
No, that's my dad's job, you know, being sys admin and all.
Jesus, Son of God most high,
who didst in a manger lie,
who upon the cross didst die:
hear us, holy Jesus.
Jesus, once an infant small,
cradled in the oxen's stall,
though the God and Lord of all:
hear us, holy Jesus.
Be thou with us every day,
in our work and in our play,
when we learn and when we pray:
hear us, holy Jesus.
When we lie asleep at night,
ever may thy angels bright
keep us safe till morning light:
hear us, holy Jesus.
Make us brave without a fear,
make us happy, full of cheer,
sure that thou art always near:
hear us, holy Jesus.
May we prize our Christian name,
may we guard it free from blame,
hating all that causes shame:
hear us, holy Jesus.
May we grow from day to day,
glad to learn each holy way,
ever ready to obey:
hear us, holy Jesus.
May we ever try to be
from all angry tempers free,
pure and gentle, Lord, like thee:
hear us, holy Jesus.
May our thoughts be undefiled,
may our words be true and mild,
make us each a holy child:
hear us, holy Jesus.
Jesus, from thy heavenly throne,
watching o'er each little one,
till our life on earth in done:
hear us, holy Jesus.
Nah. Not really.