Sal had a tough start in life because he was his own father, a tradition he carried on with his newborn son, who is, thus, actually his grandfather, and secretly the owner of eBay.
Worse, he's hooked up with that Heinlein gal, who is the distant unrelated daughter of Robert Heinlein, who, like Sal, is also dead -- but because he didn't own a Lexus (Robert Heinlein, the science fiction writer, that is), was unable to be suddenly brought back to life to collect the bereavement contributions for his own death. This saddened Sal, so, like anyone else naturally would, he took to writing bad checks.
Now, Sal had to get around, of course, so he also took to selling laptops on eBay (which his grandfather who is really his son secretly owns) in order to buy himself a mess of motor scooters from some guy named Vince Messina who, unlike Robert Heinlein, is apparently either not dead or undead.
But Vince Messina didn't know how to ride a laptop, and worse, he had Windows XP installed on his motor scooters (without Service Pack 2, no less), so, of course, this caused Sal's father, who is secretly his son, to begin speaking in Italian -- which, of course, is how you can tell he isn't himself in his emails.
Finally, the reporter from Philly Channel 10 News came along, and, a pleasant and intelligent fellow, he decided to clear everything up by sticking a motor scooter in Heinlein's pants (Michelle's, not Robert's) and claiming that he had $43,000,000,000 in a Swiss account that you, too, could have 80% of if you'd just chip in a few thousand dollars to help Sal make the refunds on the merchandise Vince made him sell on eBay because Sal's son (actually his grandfather), presumably in diapers due to his grandfatherly prostate condition, was in hock to the Lexus dealer.
The worst problem I have with our new infant is figuring out how to program it.
No matter what I try, it initiates functions apparently at random. (I suspect it may have a faulty timing crystal.)
Worse, it appears to have a both a defective interpreter and a memory leak. Most of what I tell it, it doesn't seem to parse correctly; and what it does parse correctly, it appears to forget almost immediately.
I'm thinking maybe it's time to call in a consultant...
I observe nothing meritoriously delegated to truly consequential implementation of clandestinely fundamental characterization of the underlying integumentary stipulation of excessively or inordinately elaborate insinuation of excessive complexity -- at least, not that warrants an inculcation of indisputably derogatory and plainly inexculpable innuendo!
What happens when they run out of letters for the variants?
I think we need to establish a committee to explore this, and then another one to oversee that committee -- and, of course, a complicated protocol no one can understand.
As is, this naming convention is much too simple to be used with anything Internet-related.
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Whpo ne3243eds toppph tyyyyp3 top usee a PPPPPPPPPPPPPPC?
This is all so easily sorted out. Let me explain.
Sal had a tough start in life because he was his own father, a tradition he carried on with his newborn son, who is, thus, actually his grandfather, and secretly the owner of eBay.
Worse, he's hooked up with that Heinlein gal, who is the distant unrelated daughter of Robert Heinlein, who, like Sal, is also dead -- but because he didn't own a Lexus (Robert Heinlein, the science fiction writer, that is), was unable to be suddenly brought back to life to collect the bereavement contributions for his own death. This saddened Sal, so, like anyone else naturally would, he took to writing bad checks.
Now, Sal had to get around, of course, so he also took to selling laptops on eBay (which his grandfather who is really his son secretly owns) in order to buy himself a mess of motor scooters from some guy named Vince Messina who, unlike Robert Heinlein, is apparently either not dead or undead.
But Vince Messina didn't know how to ride a laptop, and worse, he had Windows XP installed on his motor scooters (without Service Pack 2, no less), so, of course, this caused Sal's father, who is secretly his son, to begin speaking in Italian -- which, of course, is how you can tell he isn't himself in his emails.
Finally, the reporter from Philly Channel 10 News came along, and, a pleasant and intelligent fellow, he decided to clear everything up by sticking a motor scooter in Heinlein's pants (Michelle's, not Robert's) and claiming that he had $43,000,000,000 in a Swiss account that you, too, could have 80% of if you'd just chip in a few thousand dollars to help Sal make the refunds on the merchandise Vince made him sell on eBay because Sal's son (actually his grandfather), presumably in diapers due to his grandfatherly prostate condition, was in hock to the Lexus dealer.
There.
Everyone understand now?
All the secrecy is surely due to embarrassment.
Nonetheless, we should be told.
I propose that social service and local health departments be given the task of informing those infected.
After all, they've got the appropriate experience...
Mr. Bush doesn't need editorial aid to sound like a moron. This is a skill he has mastered all on his own.
I'm unclear on one point about all this.
Does this mean I shove the disk drive in backwards -- or should it be put in upside down?
Or... can I just face the system unit toward the wall, instead? Would that work?
I've just set Spam Ass to a negative number...
That'll teach 'em a thing or two.
The worst problem I have with our new infant is figuring out how to program it.
No matter what I try, it initiates functions apparently at random. (I suspect it may have a faulty timing crystal.)
Worse, it appears to have a both a defective interpreter and a memory leak. Most of what I tell it, it doesn't seem to parse correctly; and what it does parse correctly, it appears to forget almost immediately.
I'm thinking maybe it's time to call in a consultant...
All this router stuff really confuses me.
Could somebody please tell me how to hook this thing up to my PDA?
Yes.
But only 50% of the time.
No.
But your bank would have a 50-50 chance of declaring you dead.
Yes, but... what will I now need to decode my bank statements?
I observe nothing meritoriously delegated to truly consequential implementation of clandestinely fundamental characterization of the underlying integumentary stipulation of excessively or inordinately elaborate insinuation of excessive complexity -- at least, not that warrants an inculcation of indisputably derogatory and plainly inexculpable innuendo!
I dunno about that one -- I think you could anneal horseshoes on top of mine...
All these marketing geniuses need to go smell their own backsides.
It clearly never has occurred to them that the problem is --
The programming is sheer CRAP.
This has all become far too complex, with the usual confusion of more TLD's, where a much simpler solution is warranted and readily apparent.
I propose a single new top level domain that will solve the problem:
Of course it's true!
And forget mere bacterial fossils.
Why -- an entire fat lady has been found on Mars.
Wouldn't it be a whole lot easier for Bill to just call Charlie on the phone?
I want me a pair a under-drawers made a this stuff.
I keep blowing the backside off'n mine...
Making glass is one of the most water-intensive manufacturing processes of all.
Next time, suck it straight out of the tap.
I can barely begin to imagine the error messages.
I believe AT&T now has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy concerning this.
What happens when they run out of letters for the variants?
I think we need to establish a committee to explore this, and then another one to oversee that committee -- and, of course, a complicated protocol no one can understand.
As is, this naming convention is much too simple to be used with anything Internet-related.
The *real* problem is forgetting to hide the little battery in the bottom of the apparatus.
Without that, they usually don't work very well.
Because they're the largest ISP?
No.
Because they'd host Jack The Ripper and throw in a free Ginsu knife, as long as the bill is paid.
Bush wants gay marriages banned because he thinks it will stop homosexuals from breeding.
Unobtanium? I believe that's what Paris Hilton calls virginity...