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User: Optali

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  1. Just revamp it as Girls iWishlist... on Sexist Presentations At Startup Competition Prompt TechCrunch Apology · · Score: 1

    ... and commercialise it to the female pre-teen market so that they can tell ma and pa exactly how they want their silicon tits to look like for their birthdays.

      Perfect!!!

  2. Re:how can you not play an audio file? on Why Steve Albini Still Prefers Analog Tape · · Score: 1

    Well, musicians have no other choice than to be computer savvy or at least file type savvy. It's part of their toolbox mate. Even your average home-theatre owner knows what formats exist, how to convert among them, at what bit rate to encode...

    Mate, even the random hip-hop DJ or Angolan Kuduro artists know this stuff...

     

  3. Re:FIAF. on Gut Bacteria In Slim People Extract More Nutrients · · Score: 2

    This reminds me to Mustard Oil... this oils is used by hundreds of millions of people in India without any issue...
    Somebody set up an experiment with rats and the rats died, conclusion: Mustard oil is poisonous and became forbidden in most Western Countries. It can be found but it includes a warning "for external use only".

    A second study found no toxicity in humans, but that mustard oil happens to be toxic for rats... which is rather obvious being that there have been no health concerns raised in India.

    You may also want to recall that our cosy aspirin is deadly for cats but not for dogs or humans (in normal doses I mean).

    I would therefore take the conclusion with a whole truck load of salt because in fact it only demonstrates that when you inject alien gut bacteria into mice their guts will stop working correctly. Mice are not omnivores evolved to eat cooked food like us so that I would mark this study with a big WTF?

  4. Re:The Wall? on Japanese Ice Wall To Stop Reactor Leaks · · Score: 1

    yes, here you have it:

    Prepare for trouble!
    Make it double!
    To protect the world with devastation!
    To unite all people within our nation!
    To denounce the evil of truth and love!
    To extend our reach to the stars above!
    Jessie!
    James!
    Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!
    Surrender now or prepare to fight!

    Meowth. That's right!

  5. Re:Ice Wall, Godzilla, Radiation, Earthquakes on Japanese Ice Wall To Stop Reactor Leaks · · Score: 1

    SPOILER ALERT!!!

    Crap! You forced me to disclose secret insider information I got from R.R. Martin himself:

    Drogon will be the King... because Drogon is nothing less than the juvenile King Ghidorah !!!

    And of course, nothing is surer to attract the attention of Gojira than a rampaging Ghidorah. After utterly destroying Westeros with the help of Mothara and Gamera the daikaiju will teleport to Japan for no good reason and continue their trail of destruction in the islands vaporizing the ice wall and finishing in a tremendous battle in the Bay of Tokio (after proceeding to the traditional destruction of the Tokyo Tower).

    The sixth book will conveniently be called "San Daikaij: Chiky Saidai no Kessen 2" () and HBO has been in talks with Hishiro Honda to take over the series.

    Sorry for the spoiler guys, I had no other choice.

  6. Re:So extrapolate from more distant readings on More Bad News From Fukushima · · Score: 1

    Sorry, Doraemon is on holidays right now.

  7. Re:Pests on Global Warming Spreading Pests Far and Wide According To Study · · Score: 2

    I don't know why you are surprised that people call GW "only a hypothesis" being that many of them call evolution "only a theory".

  8. Re:so its not global warming? on The Yosemite Inferno In the Context of Forest Policy, Ecology and Climate Change · · Score: 1

    Amen! It's in the Bible!!

    "Thou shalt not believe in Global Warmin and temptations from the IPCC"

    It's all just a scam of the climate scientists who wouldn't have any other thing to do other wise. As it's a generally and obvious matter of fact that climate science is the most useless science on earth. BTW: What's it exactly used for, if I may ask?

  9. Re:No need for cameras. on EU Proposes To Fit Cars With Speed Limiters · · Score: 1

    Well, I understand this measure perfectly: It must be extremely dangerous to ride bicycles down there being everything upside down. and AFAIK the wheels also turn in the wrong direction. Add a few vicious kangaroos to the mix. I assume that cyclists also have to carry a heavy assault rifle all of the time.

  10. Re:No need for cameras. on EU Proposes To Fit Cars With Speed Limiters · · Score: 1

    Mate, here in Holland our speed limits are _physically_ enforced and are always 50km/h max.
    The signals showing that you are allowed to drive up to 130 are just for psychological purposes to avoid Dutch drivers to feel inferior to Germans.
    There are two reasons why it's physically impossible to ride faser than 50km/h in Holland:

    The second most important is that anything that has asphalt and looks even remotely like a road is crowded all the time. No joke, our population density is higher than Japan's.

    The first most important reason is the innate clumsiness of the Dutch: No matter of walking, biking or driving, my fellow inhabitants of this country are absolutely unable to avoid bumping against the first thing they put their eyes on. Just make the test the next time you come over. If you walk on a broad street and a Dutch comes in the opposite direction from (say) 500m away he/she will inevitably bump into you if you if he/she sees you. It's eerie, like some zombie thing I swear. The same goes for bicycles, except in Amsterdam where Darwinian selection seems to be working correctly. Apply this same principle to cars. Fortunately they also seem to have some sort of mental barrier that stops them from hitting the accelerator too hard. In these rare cases where they accidentally manage to reach 60 they inevitably end crashing into a gracht (aka channel).

    So, you may say: "Hey, but I was driving at 100km/h"... Wrong!! We have equipped our roads with high tech jammers and scramblers that distort the on board measurement systems of foreign cars to show a much higher speed. This is intended again a as a psychological measure against the Germans, so they will see that they are driving at 200km/h while he is indeed only doing 20, so the Dutch daredevils will be able to pass him at 30 and annoy the heck out of him/her while still staying inside of the 50km barrier !!! Clever huh?

  11. Re:.com is still king on Dotless Domain Names Prohibited, ICANN Tells Google · · Score: 3, Funny

    I did exactly this.
      I am very happy with my new customer support from Lagos Nigeria they are very friendly, specially Dr. Mobutu Sese Jr. (son of the latter President Mobotu Sese Seko)
    There seems to be a little problem with my salary but they promised me to transfer 10.000.000USD as soon as the funds get unfrozen at their secret Swiss bank account.

  12. Well, done ! Stop polygraph abuse!! on Feds Seek Prison For Man Who Taught How To Beat a Polygraph · · Score: 1

    It was about time somebody stood up for their rights.
    I'ts not fair that people getting away with beating the crap out of the poor polygraphs !!!

  13. Anybody already said "Kamasutra" on Ask Slashdot: Good Ideas For Creative Gaming With Girlfriend? · · Score: 1

    Well, it's rather obvious, isn't it?

  14. Re: Gonna go back in time on Germany Produces Record-Breaking 5.1 Terawatt Hours of Solar Energy In One Month · · Score: 1

    I am not talking about the religion with the nakkid guy nailed to a pair of sticks.

    I am talking about the Capitalist Religion with it's sacred dogmas that private is always better than public and that the market will fix anything and that prices and quality will raise just because something is private.

    And there you have E.ON... a private company BTW, together with RWE (another private company) owners of close to 100% of the German energy market and part of the rest of Europe, including my country, Holland. There were some examples at small scale publicly owned gas companies in Germany able to deliver gas at a fraction of the price E.ON was charging.

    And we have other examples here in Holland, were the health care for elderly people and the hospitals was put into private hands hoping that hte Holy Ghost of the Market would drive quality and price... without taking into consideration that there was no such market with the results of an extremely expensive system delivering low quality work and costing the tax payer extra money both privately, because we have to pay an inflated prices for services that a public company would have been able to acquire at bulk prices and also because the state has to put money into the system to avoid a total collapse.

    Want another funny Dutch example on how to fuck up majorly? Well, this is one of our best: Our railroad network. We privatised the railroad infrastructure and kept the train company (NS) in a sort of Frankenstein semi-private company bing the state the owner of 70% of shares. Result: Chaos! And please note that we Dutch workers depend on out public transport not because we are all Socialist-Green-Eco-Fascists minions of the Evil Global Warming Conspiracy, but because our population density is even higher than in Japan and during peak hours driving your car means moving at an average of 20km/h.

    We, unfortunately, live in a society, meaning that a bunch of us live together, if something is working fine, like here in Holland the (old) school system, the health system or our trains then don't touch it... As a matter of fact these trains were said to be so efficient that Hitler used them to transport people to the extermination camps. Don't worry, colabs were hung and shot after the war... this was fortunately not left to private hands.

    My point is not that public is good and private evil, my point is that we must abstain from mixing faith with economics: We should prefer the option which costs us, the tax payer and consumer less: Be it taxes or fees doesn't matter, an Euro is an Euro and where it goes after it leaves my bank account is not of my concern.
     

  15. Re:NHTSA pushed a 5 star rating on NHTSA Gives the Model S Best Safety Rating of Any Car In History · · Score: 1

    Yeah, but nobody knows what they are used for, LOL.
    You USians should be proud of being good drivers. Here in Euroland we basically all suck: Slow as ducks (here in Holland) or fast and dangerous as in Spain. Maybe the German...

  16. Re: Gonna go back in time on Germany Produces Record-Breaking 5.1 Terawatt Hours of Solar Energy In One Month · · Score: 1

    In Germany they have a private E.ON and RWN ;) And I bet the prices aren't much cheaper than in the UK.
    Sorry to bust your religious Sacred-Private-Enterprise experience. Remember that business is business and religion, religion.\

  17. Re:The confusing wordings of TFA on Effects of Parkinson's-Disease Mutation Reversed In Cells · · Score: 1

    Oh, oh, I read ATP, speeding up and mitochondria... and I can't but think on a new market:

    Kinetin supplementation for athletes !!!

  18. Re:Canada soon invades the US on Canadian Military Developing Stealth Snowmobile · · Score: 1

    van der Zalm?

    hebben jullie geen eigen politici en moeten deze vanuit Nederland importeren?
    Is er misschien nog een plekkie vrij voor me? zo iets als Minister van financiën zou me goed bevallen...

    Stuur me een email als jullie geïnteresseerd zijn!

    Groeten uit Holland (Noord-Holland, hoor, het echte dus)

  19. Re:Hey look at us, we are still relevant! on Wikileaks Releases A Massive "Insurance" File That No One Can Open · · Score: 1

    Sorry not to have moderation points, but you hit the nail in the head.
    I bet the 400GB are nothing but the result of:

                                  (cat $HOME/docs_and_pron/super_duper_secret_document.txt

    Either that or the usual WL stuff that seems to come straight from the Secret ARtic Base of Captain Obvious.

  20. WTF? on Studying the Slow Decay of a Laptop Battery For an Entire Year · · Score: 1

    Fucking hell mate!
    There's people with a lot of free time or no live at all!

  21. Re:Dog and cats! Living together! Mass hysteria!!! on How Much Should You Worry About an Arctic Methane Bomb? · · Score: 1

    No!!! It's real Science.
    You forget the quadrature of Venus with Saturn in the House of Scorpio and the nefarious influence of Aquarius in the 3th House.

  22. Re:Irrelevant data on How Much Should You Worry About an Arctic Methane Bomb? · · Score: 1

    Hey, that seems cool!
    We had a Little Ice Age here too a few months ago: It was cold and snowed!
    Some elderly people complained saying that in the past this was called "Winter". But hey, the proof is there: The climate change is not happening because there are sunspots and we have these little ice ages every time. I even found ice in my fridge mate... and beer, tons of hte stuff!! Really, you have to believe me!!

  23. Re:Dog and cats! Living together! Mass hysteria!!! on How Much Should You Worry About an Arctic Methane Bomb? · · Score: 1

    You put it on pause? Cool! Your' my hero!!!

  24. That's just simply gross! on How Much Should You Worry About an Arctic Methane Bomb? · · Score: 1

    /. is not what it used to be :(

  25. MS has this patented already... since 1985 on AI Is Funny - a Generative Joke Model · · Score: 1

    Computer Generated jokes you say?
    What do you think Windows is ?