This thing is crazy. It takes pictures, communicates wirelessly, stores information little gumstick-sized cards, has a remote control, recognizes handwriting...can you imagine seeing one of these things 5, 10, 20, maybe 50 years ago? Even just 5 years ago this would have been quite tremendous, but 10 or 20? It would have boggled the mind.
This is the kind of thing that Popular Science told us that we'd all have in The Year 2000[tm]. Turns out that they were just a couple of years ahead of things.
Robin Miller has a rather-amusing reply that he sends to the Nigerian scam letters that he gets. I hope he won't mind my pasting it in below.
-Waldo Jaquith
--------------- FROM THE DESK OF: MR. WORGEE G. SHUB Corporate (Special) Trust Fund, United Political Parties of America, Contract Award Committee, Washington DC USA
Dear Esteemed Nigerian Sir:
I am the Chairman of the Contract Award committee and my committee is solely responsible for awarding and payment of contracts on behalf of the United Political Parties of America. My Committee has received payments from Enron, Microsoft, Walt Disney, and many other large American companies that we then disbursed in accordance with United States law to the intended politicians in return for government services rendered to The Corporations. We overshot the contracted sum by USD35 Million. We have paid the politicians and withholding the balance of Thirty-Five Million United States Dollars. Since the existing domestic laws forbid civil servants from opening, operating and maintaining foreign accounts, we do not have the expertise to transfer this balance of funds to a foreign account.
Due to the salubrious investment and taxation climate in Nigeria, as outlined in FMF A26 Unit 3B paragraph "D" of the Auditor General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria Report of NOV. 1999 about annual estimated petroleum revenues of 28billion US Dollars, and especially opportunities relateed to the late Head of State General Sani Abacha who died on 8th June 1998, which we have become aware of through various emails we have received from your countrymen about the supply of Agricultural Machines and spare parts to the Ministry of Agriculture and Natural Resources, we have prepared to pay a commission to a worthy individual like yourself equal to 25% of the total sum transfered while 5% will be reserved for incidental expenses that both parties will incur in the course of actualizing this transaction and the balance of 70% will be kept for the Committee members.
If you know you are capable of helping us actualize our life's dream, you should send to me immediately the details of your bank particulars or open a new account where we can transfer the money(US$35M)which you will hold in trust for us until we come over there for our own share.
As soon as you open the account, send by e-mail to me immediately the details of the account viz: Name of bank, address, routing number, telex number, Account number, Tel and Fax number.You should also include the name of your company, your personal address, Tel and Fax numbers for further communication.
Note that this transaction will be concluded within 10 working days from the day you give your consent.
Sincerely yours,
Worgee G. Shub Chairman of Disbursements, Corporate (Special) Trust Fund, United Political Parties of America, Contract Award Committee, Washington DC USA
tel: 1-900-CON-4YOU
NOTE THAT FOR THE CONFIDENTIALITY OF THIS TRANSACTION, WHEN YOU CALL ME THE FIRST THING YOU DO IS FOR YOU TO ASK ME WHAT IS THE CODE, AND MY RESPONSE WILL BE (055).IF I DO NOT TELL YOU (055) THEN KNOW YOU ARE NOT TALKING TO ME. DROP THE PHONE IMMEDIATELY AND CALL ME BACK TILL I GIVE YOU THE CODE WORD. THIS IS DUE TO JAMMING TELECOMMUNICATION DEVICES IN YOUR COUNTRY AS A RESULT OF THE BOMB EXPLOSION IN A LAGOS MILITARY BASE.
OK, so it's 1987, and I'm 8 years old. My family has just gotten our first computer, an IBM PS/2 Model 30 -- one of the systems with BASIC in ROM. I''ve taken up writing in BASIC, and do so in most of my free time. Which, as an eight-year-old, is a considerably amount of time. I'd taught myself all about Boolean logic, loops, etc., etc.
This is the part that I don't remember, probably because it's been obliterated by my family repeating the story so often. I've been in the shower for something like half an hour when my mother starts knocking on the door, wanting to know if I'm OK. I insist that I'm fine. This process is repeated for a while until they finally force me to get out, no doubt prune-like by this time. My mother asks me what in the world I've been doing in the shower for so long.
I point to the directions on the back of the bottle and say, simply, "Wash. Rinse. Repeat."
"The battlefield will not be physical so much as it will be digital," Rob Owens, a tech industry analyst at Pacific Crest Securities in Portland, Ore., told the San Francisco Chronicle recently.
"OK, Agent Smith. I want you to start by taking down Al Queda's Internet access."
"Uh...sir? There is no Internet access in Afghanistan."
"Perfect! Then disrupt their cellular telephone communications."
"Right...er...they don't have cellphones."
"Well done, Smith! Now, I want to disrupt their landline network."
"Sir, they don't have -- strictly speaking -- what you would call a 'telephone network.'"
"I do say, Agent Smith, I'm very impressed! Then let's hit their power grid. I want 98% of Afghanistan to be dark within 72 hours."
"Well, sir...uh...that's pretty much taken care of, too."
"Wonderful, wonderful, Smith. This new digital warfare is really working out! Now we'll just wait a few weeks and they'll feel like they're living in caves. Join me for golf?"
The advertisement is from the Kansas City Star, circa 1970s. I happen to have a copy here, in National Lampoon's "True Facts: The Big Book." [1] The ad reads:
"Convertible free-arm sewing machine Has 12 built-in, dial-to-sew stitches plus built-in button-holer. Includes 4 utility, 4 stretch, 4 decorative stitches. Built-in blind hemmer-mending stitch. Ask about Maintenancec Agreements. $159.95."
And on the left-hand side, in a white field, it reads "Built-in Buttholer!"
Those of us mirroring CPHack found an e-mailed subpoena in our e-mail in boxes 2 years and 1 day ago. That was the second-ever e-mailing of a subpoena; the first was in the DeCSS case. In my case, it came as a Word attachment, making a bit difficult to read. I had no idea if it was legitimate or not until the ACLU took on the case and determined that to be the case. E-mailed subpoenas are simply too difficult to determine the authenticity of or to rely on the receipt of, to say nothing of the problems that come with sending the data in a proprietary format.
"A spampoena is an overbroad subpoena of dubious validity 'served' by email to unnamed recipients throughout cyberspace. The first spampoena was deployed last January in the DeCSS / MPAA case; the second was just sent out in the matter of CPhack / Cyber Patrol. We may dearly desire that, quashed forthrightly, it will be the last ever served. A judge in Boston -- in a hearing at which no defense attorney was present -- granted a subpoena requiring that a Canadian and a Swede remove certain content from their Web sites. The lawyer for Cyber Patrol's parent company requested and reportedly received permission to 'serve' copies of the subpoena by email to hundreds of unknown others in all parts of the world. Several hundred of the spampoenas have been mailed (and fewer received). Here is an example. The ACLU's motion to quash the subpoena concludes:
"'The subpoenas must be quashed because they were not properly served, because they violate the geographic limitations of Rule 45, and because they impose an undue burden... that raises significant constitutional questions. More fundamentally, they must be dismissed because they are in aid of an underlying case that itself must be dismissed for lack of subject matter jurisdiction, lack of personal jurisdiction, and mootness. It is improper to impose on a third party the burden of any subpoena -- particularly one that raises a host of thorny privacy issues -- in aid of a case that does not belong in this Court in the first place.'"
I'd hoped that those two incidents would be the last that we'd see of this inappropriate method of delivering subpoenas. Let's hope it doesn't become standard.
From: LendWare Info To: waldoNO@SPAMwaldo.net Date: 07/13/01 2:16 PM Subject: Thanks for Applying for a Loan OnLine
Dear Waldo Merideth,
Replace with Lender Name Here is pleased to inform you that your online loan application has been received and we will be contacting you in the near future.
Thank you for choosing Replace with Lender Name Here
Sincerely, Replace with Company President's Name Here President
I just think that he's been shown a carrot as well as a stick so that this never has to reach a court.
Carrot. Stick. They are not opposite things, they go together.
When sitting on an obstinate mule, you take the stick and attach the carrot to the end of it to dangle in front of said mule. The mule walks forward to get the carrot, which remains permanently (a la Tantalus) out of reach, and so it eventually hauls you and your load to your destination, at which time you may or may not give it the carrot. Whether or not this actually works, I'll leave to the farmers. But that's the origin -- surely you're familiar with the concept.
"Carrot and stick" refers to the provision of an incentive, real or decoy. It does not refer to beating the hell out of some poor jackass.
I just can't have a problem with this. As somebody who has been both employer and employee at tech firms, I can say from both experience and idealism that there ain't nothing wrong with employers filtering Internet access. When you're at work, your time is your employers'. Inherently.
If you are unhappy with the fact that your evil corporate money-grubbing employer doesn't want you dicking around on company time...well, good luck in getting a new job.
After being flown to New York City to see a sneak extravaganza premiere of "Godzilla," Knowles ranted and raved about how it was the greatest thing he'd ever seen.
A week later, he saw it again, on his own dime, and proceeded to trash the hell out of it.
AICN has ZERO integrity. Always had, always will.
By your own admission, he corrected himself. That sure sounds like integrity to me.
That's hardly a fair conclusion. I wondered the same thing: who the hell uses Lotus Notes? Anybody that hasn't worked with a Big Co. (ie, me and pudge, I imagine) wouldn't know what you so kindly explained. I haven't encountered a single computer running Lotus Notes, nor have I heard mention on-line or off-, in..ohhhh...ever, actually.
While we're on the topic, what about Novell? Does anybody use that anymore?
I will not respond to the stick...I will respond to the carrot.
Carrot. Stick. They are not opposite things, they go together.
When sitting on an obstinate mule, you take the stick and attach the carrot to the end of it to dangle in front of said mule. The mule walks forward to get the carrot, which remains permanently (a la Tantalus) out of reach, and so it eventually hauls you and your load to your destination, at which time you may or may not give it the carrot. Whether or not this actually works, I'll leave to the farmers. But that's the origin -- surely you're familiar with the concept.
"Carrot and stick" refers to the provision of an incentive, real or decoy. It does not refer to beating the hell out of some poor jackass.
More or less. It doesn't make the decision rational (the comment regarding Ghana being physically inaccessible seems rational, unfortunately, if a little conspiritorial), but getting the story is interesting. Thank you for doing the homework on that.
This is a country with 8,000 Internet users, 110 hosts, 82 domain names, 4 ISPs and a 2,048bps connection to the outside world. They don't have much going on.
Personally, I'll take advertisements, because quite frankly I actually like and sometimes click on them. Unlike other websites, slashdot advertisements are geared toward me and present me with things I'd like to buy or wish I could buy. I probably won't even filter them, unless they start using popups that are really annoying (never seen a good popup ad).
You know, I already miss them, oddly. I think I'll not filter out ads on the comments page./. ads are the only ones on the Internet that I ever click on -- I have bought several products on the strength of their promotions here!
$5 is an excellent price point. I signed up immediately because it was so little -- and tossed in an extra $5 to be a swell guy.:)
No matter what you do with this system, you should always have a $5 price for some level of subscribing. It's so little as to be immediately spendable.
vgullotta wrote: I don't want to give my customers a choice as to weather or not they are going to leave my site. I want them there spending money on my products.
Then I suppose you force their browser full-screen, remove their navigation buttons and disable the option to quit. And that makes your income go up, up, up.
You know, since taking away the option to leaves gets people to spend money.
The difference is that you can make links open in a new windows by control-clicking (or whatever) on them. But if the developer forces all links to open in a new window, how do I (who doesn't want a new window) make it not open in a new window? I can't -- the developer has overridden that option.
To provide the user with choice (which is one of the most important things that a website developer can do), it's important to not force particular UI styles on users. Give them choices. In this case, the only way to do that is by not opening links in a new window.
Slashdot Mirror
The implications of this discovery are rather staggering - quantum encryption and quantum computers might be just around the corner!
Yeah...very, very, very slow quantum computers.
;)
-Waldo Jaquith
This thing is crazy. It takes pictures, communicates wirelessly, stores information little gumstick-sized cards, has a remote control, recognizes handwriting...can you imagine seeing one of these things 5, 10, 20, maybe 50 years ago? Even just 5 years ago this would have been quite tremendous, but 10 or 20? It would have boggled the mind.
This is the kind of thing that Popular Science told us that we'd all have in The Year 2000[tm]. Turns out that they were just a couple of years ahead of things.
-Waldo Jaquith
Robin Miller has a rather-amusing reply that he sends to the Nigerian scam letters that he gets. I hope he won't mind my pasting it in below.
-Waldo Jaquith
---------------
FROM THE DESK OF: MR. WORGEE G. SHUB
Corporate (Special) Trust Fund,
United Political Parties of America,
Contract Award Committee,
Washington DC USA
Dear Esteemed Nigerian Sir:
I am the Chairman of the Contract Award committee and my committee is solely responsible for awarding and payment of contracts on behalf of the United Political Parties of America. My Committee has received payments from Enron, Microsoft, Walt Disney, and many other large American companies that we then disbursed in accordance with United States law to the intended politicians in return for government services rendered to The Corporations. We overshot the contracted sum by USD35 Million. We have paid the politicians and withholding the balance of Thirty-Five Million United States Dollars. Since the existing domestic laws forbid civil servants from opening, operating and maintaining foreign accounts, we do not have the expertise to transfer this balance of funds to a foreign account.
Due to the salubrious investment and taxation climate in Nigeria, as outlined in FMF A26 Unit 3B paragraph "D" of the Auditor General of the Federal Republic of Nigeria Report of NOV. 1999 about annual estimated petroleum revenues of 28billion US Dollars, and especially opportunities relateed to the late Head of State General Sani Abacha who died on 8th June 1998, which we have become aware of through various emails we have received from your countrymen about the supply of Agricultural Machines and spare parts to the Ministry of Agriculture and Natural Resources, we have prepared to pay a commission to a worthy individual like yourself equal to 25% of the total sum transfered while 5% will be reserved for incidental expenses that both parties will incur in the course of actualizing this transaction and the balance of 70% will be kept for the Committee members.
If you know you are capable of helping us actualize our life's dream, you should send to me immediately the details of your bank particulars or open a new account where we can transfer the money(US$35M)which you will hold in trust for us until we come over there for our own share.
As soon as you open the account, send by e-mail to me immediately the details of the account viz: Name of bank, address, routing number, telex number, Account number, Tel and Fax number.You should also include the name of your company, your personal address, Tel and Fax numbers for further communication.
Note that this transaction will be concluded within 10 working days from the day you give your consent.
Sincerely yours,
Worgee G. Shub
Chairman of Disbursements,
Corporate (Special) Trust Fund,
United Political Parties of America,
Contract Award Committee,
Washington DC USA
tel: 1-900-CON-4YOU
NOTE THAT FOR THE CONFIDENTIALITY OF THIS TRANSACTION, WHEN YOU CALL ME THE FIRST THING YOU DO IS FOR YOU TO ASK ME WHAT IS THE CODE, AND MY RESPONSE WILL BE (055).IF I DO NOT TELL YOU (055) THEN KNOW YOU ARE NOT TALKING TO ME. DROP THE PHONE IMMEDIATELY AND CALL ME BACK TILL I GIVE YOU THE CODE WORD. THIS IS DUE TO JAMMING TELECOMMUNICATION DEVICES IN YOUR COUNTRY AS A RESULT OF THE BOMB EXPLOSION IN A LAGOS MILITARY BASE.
You know there's some guy still in the shower...
OK, so it's 1987, and I'm 8 years old. My family has just gotten our first computer, an IBM PS/2 Model 30 -- one of the systems with BASIC in ROM. I''ve taken up writing in BASIC, and do so in most of my free time. Which, as an eight-year-old, is a considerably amount of time. I'd taught myself all about Boolean logic, loops, etc., etc.
This is the part that I don't remember, probably because it's been obliterated by my family repeating the story so often. I've been in the shower for something like half an hour when my mother starts knocking on the door, wanting to know if I'm OK. I insist that I'm fine. This process is repeated for a while until they finally force me to get out, no doubt prune-like by this time. My mother asks me what in the world I've been doing in the shower for so long.
I point to the directions on the back of the bottle and say, simply, "Wash. Rinse. Repeat."
-Waldo Jaquith
"The battlefield will not be physical so much as it will be digital," Rob Owens, a tech industry analyst at Pacific Crest Securities in Portland, Ore., told the San Francisco Chronicle recently.
"OK, Agent Smith. I want you to start by taking down Al Queda's Internet access."
"Uh...sir? There is no Internet access in Afghanistan."
"Perfect! Then disrupt their cellular telephone communications."
"Right...er...they don't have cellphones."
"Well done, Smith! Now, I want to disrupt their landline network."
"Sir, they don't have -- strictly speaking -- what you would call a 'telephone network.'"
"I do say, Agent Smith, I'm very impressed! Then let's hit their power grid. I want 98% of Afghanistan to be dark within 72 hours."
"Well, sir...uh...that's pretty much taken care of, too."
"Wonderful, wonderful, Smith. This new digital warfare is really working out! Now we'll just wait a few weeks and they'll feel like they're living in caves. Join me for golf?"
-Waldo Jaquithi
Is there a site or a HOWTO that gives hints on how to start getting the upper management in a company thinking about alternatives like this?
Yup.
Linux Advocacy mini-HOWTO
Bad Linux Advocacy FAQ
Don Marti's "Linuxmanship"
I recommend "Linuxmanship" the most highly.
-Waldo Jaquith
The advertisement is from the Kansas City Star, circa 1970s. I happen to have a copy here, in National Lampoon's "True Facts: The Big Book." [1] The ad reads:
"Convertible free-arm sewing machine
Has 12 built-in, dial-to-sew stitches plus built-in button-holer. Includes 4 utility, 4 stretch, 4 decorative stitches. Built-in blind hemmer-mending stitch. Ask about Maintenancec Agreements. $159.95."
And on the left-hand side, in a white field, it reads "Built-in Buttholer!"
-Waldo Jaquith
[1] ISBN 0-8092-3559-2
There's a name for these, coined by Keith Dawson of "Tasty Bits from the Technology Front" fame: "spampoena." He defines the word as follows:
I'd hoped that those two incidents would be the last that we'd see of this inappropriate method of delivering subpoenas. Let's hope it doesn't become standard.
-Waldo Jaquith
From: LendWare Info
To: waldoNO@SPAMwaldo.net
Date: 07/13/01 2:16 PM
Subject: Thanks for Applying for a Loan OnLine
Dear Waldo Merideth,
Replace with Lender Name Here is pleased to inform you that your online loan application has been received and we will be contacting you in the near future.
Thank you for choosing Replace with Lender Name Here
Sincerely,
Replace with Company President's Name Here
President
I just think that he's been shown a carrot as well as a stick so that this never has to reach a court.
Carrot. Stick. They are not opposite things, they go together.
When sitting on an obstinate mule, you take the stick and attach the carrot to the end of it to dangle in front of said mule. The mule walks forward to get the carrot, which remains permanently (a la Tantalus) out of reach, and so it eventually hauls you and your load to your destination, at which time you may or may not give it the carrot. Whether or not this actually works, I'll leave to the farmers. But that's the origin -- surely you're familiar with the concept.
"Carrot and stick" refers to the provision of an incentive, real or decoy. It does not refer to beating the hell out of some poor jackass.
-Waldo Jaquith
(Originally appeared here.)
I just can't have a problem with this. As somebody who has been both employer and employee at tech firms, I can say from both experience and idealism that there ain't nothing wrong with employers filtering Internet access. When you're at work, your time is your employers'. Inherently.
If you are unhappy with the fact that your evil corporate money-grubbing employer doesn't want you dicking around on company time...well, good luck in getting a new job.
-Waldo Jaquith
After being flown to New York City to see a sneak extravaganza premiere of "Godzilla," Knowles ranted and raved about how it was the greatest thing he'd ever seen.
A week later, he saw it again, on his own dime, and proceeded to trash the hell out of it.
AICN has ZERO integrity. Always had, always will.
By your own admission, he corrected himself. That sure sounds like integrity to me.
-Waldo Jaquith
*Flamebait*?
Thank God for metamoderation.
-Waldo Jaquith
This is just /. flamebait.
That's hardly a fair conclusion. I wondered the same thing: who the hell uses Lotus Notes? Anybody that hasn't worked with a Big Co. (ie, me and pudge, I imagine) wouldn't know what you so kindly explained. I haven't encountered a single computer running Lotus Notes, nor have I heard mention on-line or off-, in..ohhhh...ever, actually.
While we're on the topic, what about Novell? Does anybody use that anymore?
-Waldo Jaquith
That's the dumbest thing I've ever read, and I must be right.
*Laugh* You must be!
-Waldo Jaquith
I'm glad that an archive of this exists on slashnet.org -- I started logging the IRC session when I saw:
:)
<Questions> elsie asks: are these gonna be popout ads?
<hemos> I WILL GNAW OFF MY OWN GENITALS FIRST
Though I'm not looking forward to popup ads appearing here, I must say that I will enjoy calling Hemos on this one a couple of years down the line.
-Waldo
I will not respond to the stick...I will respond to the carrot.
Carrot. Stick. They are not opposite things, they go together.
When sitting on an obstinate mule, you take the stick and attach the carrot to the end of it to dangle in front of said mule. The mule walks forward to get the carrot, which remains permanently (a la Tantalus) out of reach, and so it eventually hauls you and your load to your destination, at which time you may or may not give it the carrot. Whether or not this actually works, I'll leave to the farmers. But that's the origin -- surely you're familiar with the concept.
"Carrot and stick" refers to the provision of an incentive, real or decoy. It does not refer to beating the hell out of some poor jackass.
-Waldo Jaquith
Reading Bruce Perens' (UID 3872) post and then CaseyB's (UID 1105) post, my thought process (I swear to you) was:
"Hmm...Bruce Perens is a SmartGuy(tm), and I've never heard of CaseyB. But CaseyB has a much lower UID than Bruce Perens, so CaseyB must be right."
Crazy.
-Waldo Jaquith
I guess this answers your question...
More or less. It doesn't make the decision rational (the comment regarding Ghana being physically inaccessible seems rational, unfortunately, if a little conspiritorial), but getting the story is interesting. Thank you for doing the homework on that.
-Waldo Jaquith
This is a country with 8,000 Internet users, 110 hosts, 82 domain names, 4 ISPs and a 2,048bps connection to the outside world. They don't have much going on.
So, why are they meeting in Ghana?
-Waldo Jaquith
Non-profit organizations get plenty of donations.
Ummm...no they don't. I have two. Work with me on this.
Not merely a troll, but a stupid one! Such a rare combination.
-Waldo Jaquith
Personally, I'll take advertisements, because quite frankly I actually like and sometimes click on them. Unlike other websites, slashdot advertisements are geared toward me and present me with things I'd like to buy or wish I could buy. I probably won't even filter them, unless they start using popups that are really annoying (never seen a good popup ad).
/. ads are the only ones on the Internet that I ever click on -- I have bought several products on the strength of their promotions here!
You know, I already miss them, oddly. I think I'll not filter out ads on the comments page.
-Waldo Jaquith
$5 is an excellent price point. I signed up immediately because it was so little -- and tossed in an extra $5 to be a swell guy. :)
No matter what you do with this system, you should always have a $5 price for some level of subscribing. It's so little as to be immediately spendable.
-Waldo Jaquith
vgullotta wrote:
I don't want to give my customers a choice as to weather or not they are going to leave my site. I want them there spending money on my products.
Then I suppose you force their browser full-screen, remove their navigation buttons and disable the option to quit. And that makes your income go up, up, up.
You know, since taking away the option to leaves gets people to spend money.
Right?
-Waldo Jaquith
The difference is that you can make links open in a new windows by control-clicking (or whatever) on them. But if the developer forces all links to open in a new window, how do I (who doesn't want a new window) make it not open in a new window? I can't -- the developer has overridden that option.
To provide the user with choice (which is one of the most important things that a website developer can do), it's important to not force particular UI styles on users. Give them choices. In this case, the only way to do that is by not opening links in a new window.
-Waldo Jaquith