I have to say it irks me when I see stories submitted from "anti-globalism" not because I have any particular opinion on the story. It's the motives of "anti-globalism" for making the submissions to slashdot that seem suspect of trying to shuffle readers to their website to push their agenda and ideology. Slashdot readers should know that corrupt.org is affiliated with nazi.org, hitler.org, nsbm.org and generally promotes fascist and nationalist politics.
i have to say it irks me when i see stories submitted from "anti-globalism" not because i have any particular opinion on the story. it's the motives of "anti-globalism" for making the submissions to slashdot that seem suspect of trying to shuffle readers to their website to push their agenda and ideology. slashdot readers should know that corrupt.org is affiliated with nazi.org, hitler.org, nsbm.org and generally promotes fascist and nationalist politics.
Apple sucks-straight-up. Apple is a company who was competition with windows in the 80s, hell, i think it was better in the 80s and the early 90s. Once the Pentium processor came out and windows 95 came out, windows became much better. Who the hell would design computers so that they dont have legacy (backwards compatibility for all your noobs) support? Apple has come back because tools like you are buying their music devices. The IPod sucks too! Who else than Apple would design a music player that wouldnt let its users to share music? They created a huge "market" because they suck people in with these "retro and in style" stupid commericals with sillouttes and shitty bands like "the white stripes" playing in the background. Oh, everyone who buys an IPod or a mac is so artsy and sophisticated. The reality is that you buy shit because people tell you to then you dig into their stupid itunes store just because you have the damn IPod. Buy yourself a real MP3 player and buy yourself a real computer. Apple's new operating systems are buily on UNIX structure, which means that it was drived from open source software. As far as i know, open source is open, and wether its UNIX or LINUX, its easier to hack than windows. The problem is, people like windows machines better because they are better for office stuff, gaming, upgrades, price, maitainance. Theyre also in high competition with applications like photoshop and other media editing. (BTW, Im not really being biased, macs are better for MOST media apps but not by much). The apple computer was made for stupid people to do stupid things with, easily. If it were up to me, mouses wouldnt even exist. Only people who deserved to use computers could use them, not people who make dumb articles like this. Windows runs on computers that are esily upgradable. People will go out and buy an introductory computer package for about $600. It comes with a tower, a printer, and a monitor. After you bring it home, you can add things to it. like memory, a new video card, a new heatsink. All kinds of companies make these computers and their parts, all these computers are called "clones"(back in the day termonology for a computer not made BY THE OS THAT SUPPORTS IT). Apple doesnt let people sell "clones" all their computers only come from them. So theres no competition! They give the price and people buy them. The only reason for people to buy one is for strict media usage/editing. Buy if youre dumb enough to buy one, its gonna cost you at least AT LEAST 1,200 for a decent model. The reason people buy macs nowadays is because they got away with so much of YOUR MONEY frmo the IPod sales and accessories, they can market macs AGRESSIVELY. if you didnt watch so much TV, you wouldnt want one. And who in the right mind changes their company name from "Apple Computer" to "Apple Inc." Nutjobs.
Trend Micro 2008 forecast for cybercrime. Trend Micro (published 19 February 2008)
Increasing trend in underlying criminality for financial gain in the area of cybercrime set to continue throughout 2008.
Trend Micro has published its 2007 Threat Report and 2008 Forecast.
According to research from Trend Micro's TrendLabsSM, hackers are intensifying their attacks on legitimate Web sites. It debunks the adage to "not visit questionable sites" - just because a user visits a gambling or adult-content site doesn't necessarily mean Web threats are lurking in the shadows; the site with the latest sports news or links in a search engine result, however, could potentially infect visitors with malware.
An underground malware industry has carved itself a thriving market by exploiting the trust and confidence of Web users. The Russian Business Network, for example, was notorious all year for hosting illegal businesses including child pornography, phishing and malware distribution sites. This underground industry excludes no one. In 2007, Apple had to contend with the ZLOB gang, proving that even alternative operating systems are not safe havens for the online user. The Italian Gromozon, a malware disguised in the form of a rogue anti-spyware security application, also made its mark in 2007.
This past year, the NUWAR (Storm) botnet expanded in scope when Trend Micro researchers found proof that the Storm botnet is renting its services to host fly-by-night online pharmacies, dabble in stock pump-and-dump scams, and even portions of its backend botnet infrastructure. During 2007, the most popular communication protocol among botnet owners was still Internet Relay Chat possibly because software to create IRC bots is widely available and easily implemented and at the same time movement to encrypted P2P is being used and tested in the field.
Security threats are no longer limited to PCs. Mobile devices, as they become more sophisticated and powerful, are at risk for the same types of threats as PCs (viruses, spam, Trojans, malware, etc.) Gadgets with wireless capabilities such as Wi-Fi and Bluetooth, as well as storage capability have become major sources of data leaks, as well as carriers of infections through security perimeters.
Other notable findings from the report:.
- The Windows Animated Cursor exploit (EXPL_ANICMOO) encompassed over 50 percent of all exploit codes to hit the Internet computing population. 74 percent of its infections this year came from Asia. The same holds true for TROJ_ANICMOO.AX, a related threat which embedded the exploit. 64 percent of computers infected with this were from China.
- The top malware finding was WORM_SPYBOT.IS and WORM_GAOBOT.DF. Both created botnets and worms that infected USB-connected devices.
- Nearly 50 percent of all threat infections come from North America, but Asian countries are also experiencing a growth -- 40 percent of infections stem from that region.
-Social networking communities and user-created content such as blog sites became infection vectors due to attacks on their underlying Web 2.0 technologies, particularly cross-site scripting and streaming technologies.
- Infection volumes nearly quadrupled between September and November 2007, indicating that malware authors took advantage of the holiday seasons as an opportunity to send spam or deploy spyware while users are shopping online.
- In 2007, the number one online commerce site attacked by phishers was still global auction site eBay and sister company PayPal. Financial institutions, especially those based in North America, also experienced a high volume of phising attacks.
Based on the emerging trends of this year, the following are Trend Micro's forecasts for the threat landscape in 2008:
1. Legacy code used in operating systems and vulnerabilities in popular applications will continue to be attacked in the effort to inject in-process malicious code that criminals can exploit to run malware in efforts to breach compu
How long before someone else smarter (There is always someone) hijacks FBI's malware and use it for their own bad purpose?? Hey, maybe FBI will even license this software to world's dictators who are sponsored by USA.
Ok, I congratulate you all on attempting to realize 100% security but the only way you can do truly do it is to not have the computer. Just don't even think about it, man.
Performance Results Mixed with Vista Service Pack 1
Files copied faster in our initial tests, but other performance was slightly slower with the SP1 installed.
Melissa J. Perenson, PC World
Wednesday, February 06, 2008 10:07 PM PST
Microsoft's newly released Service Pack 1 may solve some of the performance glitches that have annoyed Windows Vista users and discouraged others from adopting the OS, but it doesn't appear from our initial tests to be a panacea.
In our first tests of the service pack, file copying, one of the main performance-related complaints from Vista users, was significantly faster. But other tests showed little improvement and in two tests, our experience was actually a little better without the service pack installed than with it.
Service Pack 1 was released to manufacturing yesterday, and officially sent out to reviewers today (Service Pack 1 was also unofficially unleashed today on BitTorrent, too). Service Pack 1 will be available to users in March, as a download; Microsoft plans to have SP1 integrated into Windows Vista at retail as well, but could not give a timeline on how quickly the update will be included in the retail version of Vista.
We've already covered many aspects of SP1 in previous looks at the initial SP1 beta last fall, and the more recent SP1 Release Candidate that became available in January. A quick recap: Though many of SP1's benefits lie hidden within the bowels of the OS (such as support for standards like Extensible Firmware Interface and Extended File Allocation Table), SP1 is packed with performance enhancements as well. According to Microsoft, more tangible improvements include improved performance when copying, compressing, and extracting files, improved boot and power down times, improved network performance, and other performance-related fixes.
I took the RTM of Vista Service Pack SP1 down to the PC World Test Center this afternoon and unleashed it across a variety of systems to see how it performed. These tests are preliminary and informal ones; the PC World Test Center is working on additional testing, and we'll post additional information--and update this story--as it comes available.
Service Pack 1: Installation
For my installation and file copy tests, I installed Service Pack 1 on a fairly high-end system: Polywell's $4000 Poly P3503-3DT, a model packed with a 3-GHz Core 2 Extreme QX6850 CPU, 4GB of memory, and Windows Vista Ultimate Edition.
The first thing I noticed during the installation process was Windows Vista's friendly warning that the installation might take an hour or more. My experience was, pleasantly, far from that: The installation process required just 27 minutes, less than half of what I experienced with the first beta of SP1 back in September 2007. Your experience may vary greatly, depending upon your system's configuration, though: A Dell Inspiron 1420 notebook (with 2.2-GHz Core 2 Duo T7500 CPU and 2GB of memory) required just 30 minutes to complete; but two other, less powerful systems took far longer to complete the installation.
SP1 required three reboots in all. During a good portion of the installation time, about 18 minutes, Vista reported it was just preparing the configuration, before actually proceeding with the installation.
File Copy: Performance Notably Improved
I performed a series of tests before and after installing SP1. The first test was a file copy test, identical to the one I performed on the beta last fall. I did three passes, copying 1.9GB of files (562 JPEG images) from a 2GB Kingston SD Card to the PC.
Pre-SP1, the file copy averaged 384 seconds; post-SP1, the copy process showed a noticeable improvement, averaging just 348 seconds to complete the same task. That's a 9 percent improvement, a difference you're likely to notice.
I'm encouraged by that improvement. It's not life-altering when you're talking about just 2GB of data, but if the p
It all started when our cliche, protagonistic figure, CmdrTaco, woke up in a magical cornfield. It was the seventh time it had happened. Feeling scarcely pleased, CmdrTaco stroked a potato, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, he realized that his beloved joystick was missing! Immediately he called his bed-friend, CowboyNeal. CmdrTaco had known CowboyNeal for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were eccentric ones. CowboyNeal was unique. He was attractive though sometimes a little... insensitive. CmdrTaco called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
CowboyNeal picked up to a very unhappy CmdrTaco. CowboyNeal calmly assured him that most 3-legged wallabies yawn before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually sassily sneeze *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting CmdrTaco. Why was CowboyNeal trying to distract CmdrTaco? Because he had snuck out from CmdrTaco's with the joystick only two days prior. It was a enticing little joystick... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before CmdrTaco got back to the subject at hand: his joystick. CowboyNeal grimaced. Relunctantly, CowboyNeal invited him over, assuring him they'd find the joystick. CmdrTaco grabbed his whale and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, CowboyNeal realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the joystick and he had to do it skillfully. He figured that if CmdrTaco took the curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala), he had take at least eleven minutes before CmdrTaco would get there. But if he took the a big penis? Then CowboyNeal would be very screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, CowboyNeal was interrupted by three abrasive ligres that were lured by his joystick. CowboyNeal yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he deftly reached for his banana and skillfully groped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the lemur-infested moor, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the a big penis rolling up. It was CmdrTaco.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Big Lots to pick up a 12-pack of ninja stars, so he knew he was running late. With a calculated leap, CmdrTaco was out of the a big penis and went explosively jaunting toward CowboyNeal's front door. Meanwhile inside, CowboyNeal was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the joystick into a box of wolverines and then slid the box behind his hammock. CowboyNeal was puzzled but at least the joystick was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' CowboyNeal flamboyantly purred. With a careful push, CmdrTaco opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some stupid genocidal maniac in a curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala),' he lied. 'It's fine,' CowboyNeal assured him. CmdrTaco took a seat about two saucy furlongs from where CowboyNeal had hidden the joystick. CowboyNeal turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But CmdrTaco was distracted. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, CowboyNeal noticed a funny-smelling look on CmdrTaco's face. CmdrTaco slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
CowboyNeal felt a stabbing pain in his scalp when CmdrTaco asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the joystick right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A selfish look started to form on CmdrTaco's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ninja stars from when she used to have pet legless puppies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. CmdrTaco nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before CowboyNeal could react, CmdrTaco thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The joystick was plainly in
Slashdot Mirror
I appreciate this comment. The one-size-fits-all approach teaching/learning should have been discarded long ago.
what are you some kind of terrorist?!
I'll take two please
I have to say it irks me when I see stories submitted from "anti-globalism" not because I have any particular opinion on the story. It's the motives of "anti-globalism" for making the submissions to slashdot that seem suspect of trying to shuffle readers to their website to push their agenda and ideology. Slashdot readers should know that corrupt.org is affiliated with nazi.org, hitler.org, nsbm.org and generally promotes fascist and nationalist politics.
A-Space "A Place For Spooks"
you misspelled pantom
i have to say it irks me when i see stories submitted from "anti-globalism" not because i have any particular opinion on the story. it's the motives of "anti-globalism" for making the submissions to slashdot that seem suspect of trying to shuffle readers to their website to push their agenda and ideology. slashdot readers should know that corrupt.org is affiliated with nazi.org, hitler.org, nsbm.org and generally promotes fascist and nationalist politics.
quit
quit
but they can't even make a try look decent
Apple sucks-straight-up. Apple is a company who was competition with windows in the 80s, hell, i think it was better in the 80s and the early 90s. Once the Pentium processor came out and windows 95 came out, windows became much better. Who the hell would design computers so that they dont have legacy (backwards compatibility for all your noobs) support? Apple has come back because tools like you are buying their music devices.
The IPod sucks too! Who else than Apple would design a music player that wouldnt let its users to share music? They created a huge "market" because they suck people in with these "retro and in style" stupid commericals with sillouttes and shitty bands like "the white stripes" playing in the background. Oh, everyone who buys an IPod or a mac is so artsy and sophisticated. The reality is that you buy shit because people tell you to then you dig into their stupid itunes store just because you have the damn IPod. Buy yourself a real MP3 player and buy yourself a real computer.
Apple's new operating systems are buily on UNIX structure, which means that it was drived from open source software. As far as i know, open source is open, and wether its UNIX or LINUX, its easier to hack than windows. The problem is, people like windows machines better because they are better for office stuff, gaming, upgrades, price, maitainance. Theyre also in high competition with applications like photoshop and other media editing. (BTW, Im not really being biased, macs are better for MOST media apps but not by much). The apple computer was made for stupid people to do stupid things with, easily. If it were up to me, mouses wouldnt even exist. Only people who deserved to use computers could use them, not people who make dumb articles like this.
Windows runs on computers that are esily upgradable. People will go out and buy an introductory computer package for about $600. It comes with a tower, a printer, and a monitor. After you bring it home, you can add things to it. like memory, a new video card, a new heatsink. All kinds of companies make these computers and their parts, all these computers are called "clones"(back in the day termonology for a computer not made BY THE OS THAT SUPPORTS IT). Apple doesnt let people sell "clones" all their computers only come from them. So theres no competition! They give the price and people buy them. The only reason for people to buy one is for strict media usage/editing. Buy if youre dumb enough to buy one, its gonna cost you at least AT LEAST 1,200 for a decent model.
The reason people buy macs nowadays is because they got away with so much of YOUR MONEY frmo the IPod sales and accessories, they can market macs AGRESSIVELY. if you didnt watch so much TV, you wouldnt want one. And who in the right mind changes their company name from "Apple Computer" to "Apple Inc." Nutjobs.
I have a gigacore cpu. I win!
LOLZ GOOD JOB BRO!
in other news...
Trend Micro 2008 forecast for cybercrime.
Trend Micro (published 19 February 2008)
Increasing trend in underlying criminality for financial gain in the area of cybercrime set to continue throughout 2008.
Trend Micro has published its 2007 Threat Report and 2008 Forecast.
According to research from Trend Micro's TrendLabsSM, hackers are intensifying their attacks on legitimate Web sites. It debunks the adage to "not visit questionable sites" - just because a user visits a gambling or adult-content site doesn't necessarily mean Web threats are lurking in the shadows; the site with the latest sports news or links in a search engine result, however, could potentially infect visitors with malware.
An underground malware industry has carved itself a thriving market by exploiting the trust and confidence of Web users. The Russian Business Network, for example, was notorious all year for hosting illegal businesses including child pornography, phishing and malware distribution sites. This underground industry excludes no one. In 2007, Apple had to contend with the ZLOB gang, proving that even alternative operating systems are not safe havens for the online user. The Italian Gromozon, a malware disguised in the form of a rogue anti-spyware security application, also made its mark in 2007.
This past year, the NUWAR (Storm) botnet expanded in scope when Trend Micro researchers found proof that the Storm botnet is renting its services to host fly-by-night online pharmacies, dabble in stock pump-and-dump scams, and even portions of its backend botnet infrastructure. During 2007, the most popular communication protocol among botnet owners was still Internet Relay Chat possibly because software to create IRC bots is widely available and easily implemented and at the same time movement to encrypted P2P is being used and tested in the field.
Security threats are no longer limited to PCs. Mobile devices, as they become more sophisticated and powerful, are at risk for the same types of threats as PCs (viruses, spam, Trojans, malware, etc.) Gadgets with wireless capabilities such as Wi-Fi and Bluetooth, as well as storage capability have become major sources of data leaks, as well as carriers of infections through security perimeters.
Other notable findings from the report:.
- The Windows Animated Cursor exploit (EXPL_ANICMOO) encompassed over 50 percent of all exploit codes to hit the Internet computing population. 74 percent of its infections this year came from Asia. The same holds true for TROJ_ANICMOO.AX, a related threat which embedded the exploit. 64 percent of computers infected with this were from China.
- The top malware finding was WORM_SPYBOT.IS and WORM_GAOBOT.DF. Both created botnets and worms that infected USB-connected devices.
- Nearly 50 percent of all threat infections come from North America, but Asian countries are also experiencing a growth -- 40 percent of infections stem from that region.
-Social networking communities and user-created content such as blog sites became infection vectors due to attacks on their underlying Web 2.0 technologies, particularly cross-site scripting and streaming technologies.
- Infection volumes nearly quadrupled between September and November 2007, indicating that malware authors took advantage of the holiday seasons as an opportunity to send spam or deploy spyware while users are shopping online.
- In 2007, the number one online commerce site attacked by phishers was still global auction site eBay and sister company PayPal. Financial institutions, especially those based in North America, also experienced a high volume of phising attacks.
Based on the emerging trends of this year, the following are Trend Micro's forecasts for the threat landscape in 2008:
1. Legacy code used in operating systems and vulnerabilities in popular applications will continue to be attacked in the effort to inject in-process malicious code that criminals can exploit to run malware in efforts to breach compu
...and could you imagine a beowulf cluster of these things cooking up huge batches of hot grits?
I'm stuck in an infinite dream loop!
with ANTI-currency
i fail to see what is so "geeky" about some nut implanting some RFID bullshit in himself to open his front door.
How long before someone else smarter (There is always someone) hijacks FBI's malware and use it for their own bad purpose?? Hey, maybe FBI will even license this software to world's dictators who are sponsored by USA.
Ok, I congratulate you all on attempting to realize 100% security but the only way you can do truly do it is to not have the computer. Just don't even think about it, man.
Performance Results Mixed with Vista Service Pack 1
Files copied faster in our initial tests, but other performance was slightly slower with the SP1 installed.
Melissa J. Perenson, PC World
Wednesday, February 06, 2008 10:07 PM PST
Microsoft's newly released Service Pack 1 may solve some of the performance glitches that have annoyed Windows Vista users and discouraged others from adopting the OS, but it doesn't appear from our initial tests to be a panacea.
In our first tests of the service pack, file copying, one of the main performance-related complaints from Vista users, was significantly faster. But other tests showed little improvement and in two tests, our experience was actually a little better without the service pack installed than with it.
Service Pack 1 was released to manufacturing yesterday, and officially sent out to reviewers today (Service Pack 1 was also unofficially unleashed today on BitTorrent, too). Service Pack 1 will be available to users in March, as a download; Microsoft plans to have SP1 integrated into Windows Vista at retail as well, but could not give a timeline on how quickly the update will be included in the retail version of Vista.
We've already covered many aspects of SP1 in previous looks at the initial SP1 beta last fall, and the more recent SP1 Release Candidate that became available in January. A quick recap: Though many of SP1's benefits lie hidden within the bowels of the OS (such as support for standards like Extensible Firmware Interface and Extended File Allocation Table), SP1 is packed with performance enhancements as well. According to Microsoft, more tangible improvements include improved performance when copying, compressing, and extracting files, improved boot and power down times, improved network performance, and other performance-related fixes.
I took the RTM of Vista Service Pack SP1 down to the PC World Test Center this afternoon and unleashed it across a variety of systems to see how it performed. These tests are preliminary and informal ones; the PC World Test Center is working on additional testing, and we'll post additional information--and update this story--as it comes available.
Service Pack 1: Installation
For my installation and file copy tests, I installed Service Pack 1 on a fairly high-end system: Polywell's $4000 Poly P3503-3DT, a model packed with a 3-GHz Core 2 Extreme QX6850 CPU, 4GB of memory, and Windows Vista Ultimate Edition.
The first thing I noticed during the installation process was Windows Vista's friendly warning that the installation might take an hour or more. My experience was, pleasantly, far from that: The installation process required just 27 minutes, less than half of what I experienced with the first beta of SP1 back in September 2007. Your experience may vary greatly, depending upon your system's configuration, though: A Dell Inspiron 1420 notebook (with 2.2-GHz Core 2 Duo T7500 CPU and 2GB of memory) required just 30 minutes to complete; but two other, less powerful systems took far longer to complete the installation.
SP1 required three reboots in all. During a good portion of the installation time, about 18 minutes, Vista reported it was just preparing the configuration, before actually proceeding with the installation.
File Copy: Performance Notably Improved
I performed a series of tests before and after installing SP1. The first test was a file copy test, identical to the one I performed on the beta last fall. I did three passes, copying 1.9GB of files (562 JPEG images) from a 2GB Kingston SD Card to the PC.
Pre-SP1, the file copy averaged 384 seconds; post-SP1, the copy process showed a noticeable improvement, averaging just 348 seconds to complete the same task. That's a 9 percent improvement, a difference you're likely to notice.
I'm encouraged by that improvement. It's not life-altering when you're talking about just 2GB of data, but if the p
but can you copyright...FIRST POST
It all started when our cliche, protagonistic figure, CmdrTaco, woke up in a magical cornfield. It was the seventh time it had happened. Feeling scarcely pleased, CmdrTaco stroked a potato, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, he realized that his beloved joystick was missing! Immediately he called his bed-friend, CowboyNeal. CmdrTaco had known CowboyNeal for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were eccentric ones. CowboyNeal was unique. He was attractive though sometimes a little... insensitive. CmdrTaco called him anyway, for the situation was urgent. CowboyNeal picked up to a very unhappy CmdrTaco. CowboyNeal calmly assured him that most 3-legged wallabies yawn before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually sassily sneeze *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting CmdrTaco. Why was CowboyNeal trying to distract CmdrTaco? Because he had snuck out from CmdrTaco's with the joystick only two days prior. It was a enticing little joystick... how could he resist? It didn't take long before CmdrTaco got back to the subject at hand: his joystick. CowboyNeal grimaced. Relunctantly, CowboyNeal invited him over, assuring him they'd find the joystick. CmdrTaco grabbed his whale and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, CowboyNeal realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the joystick and he had to do it skillfully. He figured that if CmdrTaco took the curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala), he had take at least eleven minutes before CmdrTaco would get there. But if he took the a big penis? Then CowboyNeal would be very screwed. Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, CowboyNeal was interrupted by three abrasive ligres that were lured by his joystick. CowboyNeal yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he deftly reached for his banana and skillfully groped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the lemur-infested moor, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the a big penis rolling up. It was CmdrTaco. ----o0o---- As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Big Lots to pick up a 12-pack of ninja stars, so he knew he was running late. With a calculated leap, CmdrTaco was out of the a big penis and went explosively jaunting toward CowboyNeal's front door. Meanwhile inside, CowboyNeal was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the joystick into a box of wolverines and then slid the box behind his hammock. CowboyNeal was puzzled but at least the joystick was concealed. The doorbell rang. 'Come in,' CowboyNeal flamboyantly purred. With a careful push, CmdrTaco opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some stupid genocidal maniac in a curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala),' he lied. 'It's fine,' CowboyNeal assured him. CmdrTaco took a seat about two saucy furlongs from where CowboyNeal had hidden the joystick. CowboyNeal turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But CmdrTaco was distracted. Like a drunken sailor at happy hour, CowboyNeal noticed a funny-smelling look on CmdrTaco's face. CmdrTaco slowly opened his mouth to speak. '...What's that smell?' CowboyNeal felt a stabbing pain in his scalp when CmdrTaco asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the joystick right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A selfish look started to form on CmdrTaco's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ninja stars from when she used to have pet legless puppies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. CmdrTaco nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before CowboyNeal could react, CmdrTaco thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The joystick was plainly in
BINGO Dino D.N.A.!