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User: VorpalRodent

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Comments · 277

  1. When somebody else wants to fuck your wife do you quibble about whether or not his service will be satisfactory to her?

    No, I assert that even given that the activities of screwing the milkman and getting supper are mutually exclusive, now that the screwing is over, surely then, supper may now, logically, be got.

  2. I'm not sure what you're talking about. Nothing beats falling asleep underneath hundreds of pounds of The Epic of Gilgamesh. It's a real page-turner (by which I mean I have to send the kids into the study to drag the next box of pages in to me).

  3. Better yet, attempting to intimidate someone involved in an ongoing lawsuit is now securities fraud. Lose faith in your lawyer and transfer some money away from your case? That's now insider trading.

  4. Why no mention of Al Gore? I am outraged, I say!

  5. Re:One more on the pile. on New Attack Steals SSNs, E-mail Addresses, and More From HTTPS Pages (arstechnica.com) · · Score: 1

    I'm...I'm interested in both the culture that gives rise to your metaphorical society as well as its outcomes. I'm interested in how you'd position that as an elevator pitch for a movie. I just...I have so many questions right now.

  6. Perception on The Most Popular Product Of All Time · · Score: 5, Funny

    It unleashed forces which we are barely able to perceive...

    ...except with an oscilloscope.

    But seriously, hyperbolize much?

  7. Yes, well...when I was in school, we had a lab session (not even an entire course), and we needed to buy a whole shelf full of books, written by the TA, and it cost more than a year's tuition.

  8. Re:Immigration on World Reacts To The Worst Mass Shooting In U.S. History (cnn.com) · · Score: 1

    This was proven false a while back. We put a bunch of antelope in an airtight container and waited for Native Americans to spontaneously appear and hunt the antelope. They did not.

    Killing two birds with one stone, after the antelope died (it being an airtight container and all), we reproduced the results of earlier spontaneous generation experiments when we failed to notice any maggots appearing on the antelope carcasses.

  9. Re:I think I am in trouble on Startups Can't Explain What They Do Because They're Addicted To Meaningless Jargon (qz.com) · · Score: 1

    I think what you're describing is exactly the problem. It's clear that what they're saying has meaning, and something obvious comes to mind. But what comes to mind and what they *actually do* may be vastly different. Leaving the boring details out allows the investors and consumers to imagine that something being a whole lot greater than it actually is.

  10. To call the type of cutting edge thought leadership that we do in our particular paradigm landscape nothing more than jargon is simply unsubstantiated. By leveraging the de-facto enterprise-ready solutionspace that your clients are already engaged with, we enable your company to provide truly agile customer-driven projects that have a low ready to market to headcount ratio.

  11. Other Mammals? on Google Patents Self-Driving Car That Glues Pedestrians To The Hood In A Crash (cnn.com) · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I live in Wisconsin. On the back roads, it's not uncommon to see deer attempt to cross traffic, and there are quite a few unlucky motorists who manage to hit one.

    Now, if the impact doesn't kill the deer, I have an angry/terrified deer thrashing about on my hood.

    If the impact *does* kill the deer, I'll need to have tags with me, since I'm now transporting a deer that I just killed.

  12. Re:Use newer system on Google ReCAPTCHA Cracked In New Automated Attack · · Score: 1

    Yes. They refer to this as "NoCaptcha".

  13. Re:It is called Pareto principle on Australian Man Uses 1TB of Mobile Data in a Single Day (stuff.co.nz) · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mr Vilfredo Pareto discovered this phenomena 120 years ago.

    This was all the more impressive considering the limited 4G coverage at the time.

  14. Alternate Headlines on Why Legal Experts Are Up In Arms Over a Trade-Secrets Bill Microsoft Loves (cio.com) · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Secret Provisions that Microsoft Lawyers Don't Want You To Know
    Take a Look at These Seven Trade Secrets Microsoft is Hiding From You
    These Legal Experts Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity
    Microsoft Angers Legal Experts With This One Weird Trick

  15. Re:This is why ISIS wins on Turkey Downs Allegedly Intruding Russian Fighter Near Syria Border (reuters.com) · · Score: 1

    TL;DR - There's the People's Front of Judea and a number of splinter groups - the Judean People's Front, the Judean Popular People's Front, and the Popular People's Front of Judea (he's over there). If you want to join any of these groups, you need only to hate the Romans...a lot.

  16. Re:Cue the Luddites on The Oxford Dictionaries Word of the Year 2015 Is an Emoji (oxforddictionaries.com) · · Score: 2

    This is a remarkably thoughtful post. Thanks for the reading material on these scripts.

    However...I still have to disagree with Oxford and will assert my right to resort to ad hominem attacks against them and their editors.

    What I give them kudos for is that they considered a pronoun that we've had forever to be a notable word (instead of attempting to validate the dumb new made-up pronouns). I have mixed feelings about all of this crap. Our language is a living language, and as such is evolving. At the same time, get off my lawn and stop making up stupid words and abbreviating things that there is already a proper way to say. Get off my lawn!

  17. Re:This guy should be a lawyer on Volvo Will Accept Liability For Self-Driving Car Crashes (bbc.com) · · Score: 2

    You've just hit on an interesting scenario that will be to Volvo's advantage.

    Volvo is driving. For any accident, they accept full responsibility. However, a holy-crap scenario arises where the computer has no viable options. Clearly, Volvo is still fully accepting responsibility.

    Except, in that type of scenario, I'm going to grab the wheel and try to do something. Since I've done something in this worst case scenario, their lawyers will cite the computer data indicating that 1.4 seconds before the accident, the human driver took control. Suddenly I'm at fault.

  18. Re:Don't forget prisons on Houston's Gifted Education Program Biased Against Blacks and Latinos · · Score: 1

    Think of the children!! We can't just release male inmates all willy-nilly. One might commit a crime. We need to build more prisons and simply lock up more women.

    Statistically, children in single parent households are more likely to commit crimes. Many of the men who are locked up have children. Therefore, those children are likely living in single parent households and are more likely to commit crimes.

    We solve two problems at once by arresting the mothers - we bring the prisons into proper gender equality, and surely we reduce the likelihood that these children become criminals.

    QED

  19. Re:Bias? Or reality? on Houston's Gifted Education Program Biased Against Blacks and Latinos · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The article gives little indication on how the program is run, other than that it is "point based", and that tutorials and testing materials are available online for purchase.

    This, unfortunately, biases the program towards those who have the resources available to spend on their child, regardless of race. There's mention of some sort of "selection criteria" prior to being tested, so some bias could definitely be introduced there, but in the end, the tests themselves (provided they're valid and administered properly) should provide valid results.

    That being said, the kid in the story is 8 years old. At that age, kids will show up all over the place on testing depending on how things are going at home. It mentioned that his dad never gets to see him because he's always either working or finishing his degree. It's unfortunate, but it's a catch-22 - the father sounds for all intents and purposes like he's doing a great job improving things for his family, but this is bound to have an impact in the short term on the kid.

    I realize I'm a horrible human being for saying so, but perhaps this isn't so much a sign that the Gifted and Talented program is biased, but rather that a program intended to nurture talented individuals will, by necessity, be biased towards those individuals who by virtue of their environment are allowed to develop more talents.

    We have a separate program where we take kids who have the potential to have talents but haven't yet realized them and attempt to nurture them into actual skills...it's called school.

  20. Re:Michael Abrash can't count to 4 on Oculus' Michael Abrash Explains What It'll Take For VR To Feel Real · · Score: 1

    "Five pillars"
    "Four, sir"
    "Four - four pillars"

  21. Re:Bullshit on WWII Bomb Shelter Becomes Hi-Tech Salad Farm · · Score: 4, Funny

    Insects aren't created from the ether.

    Spontaneous generation says otherwise, though I appreciate that someone at least finally acknowledges the existence of the ether.

  22. Re:What About Nutrition? on WWII Bomb Shelter Becomes Hi-Tech Salad Farm · · Score: 4, Funny

    At a minimum, they're probably providing the plants with electrolytes...it's what plants crave.

  23. Re:Cue the Kneejerk on Researchers Grow Tiny Human Brain In Lab · · Score: 1

    I don't disagree with your points. While I wouldn't consider myself purely utilitarian, I also don't believe that we'll ever truly satisfy everyone. In light of that, and given that there are far too many unknowns to account for, I would argue that we need to take what reasonable precautions we can while making an effort to move towards addressing those unknowns. I'm merely arguing that there are some risks that need to be taken, carefully, and that it's okay if one of the things we learn is that we shouldn't take that same risk in the future.

    You mention the hypothermia experiments as an example of useful but morally objectionable research. What if those participants were willing (and we didn't have the implicit end point of their demise)? What about the Minnesota starvation experiment? There's very useful research that we could do, using individuals who value the potential benefit as greater than the risk, but that we choose not to on moral grounds.

    There's a bit of a disconnect where people get idolized for signing up to die on Mars, but we demonize other attempts to kill people for science.

  24. Re:This allows of big modifications on New Genes May Arise From Junk DNA · · Score: 1

    magic super-power (more often than not, lethal)

    As a general rule of thumb, things that insta-kill me in utero generally do not qualify as "super-powers" in my particular dialect of English.

  25. Cue the Kneejerk on Researchers Grow Tiny Human Brain In Lab · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I'm not sure how I feel about this research...and that's pretty much why I'm all for this. We don't understand enough to be able to say whether or not this should be happening, and this is the best way we know how to move forward. This is something that doesn't directly harm anyone, and we have no reason to believe that any sort of consciousness exists in it. This should be an obvious win-win that could potentially benefit everyone.

    Certainly, this is going to trigger all kinds of knee-jerk responses from a lot of folks. I get that, but those are also the kinds of responses that are regularly made in the absence of any solid understanding of what's going on. That's why we had limited stem cell research for so long. This isn't mad scientist war crimes type stuff. This is the best way to study the human brain without actually stealing one from an unwilling donor.

    I don't know how we reconcile the fact that some people have a religious objection to messing with the parts that we're made of and the fact that there's huge benefits to be gained, but we can't dicker around and make everyone happy. Sometimes we just need to get stuff done so that we can say "Just be happy with your cure for ALS."