Slashdot Mirror

I havn't seen a page full of such utter garbage since I last visited The Sauna of Pretentious Cockmongers. Did I mention This is boring?

Proof that trolling is dead. I thought that the low point would be random number crapflooding. I thought there is no way we could sink lower. But now, the last dredges of originality are gone. Fuck you, and farewell. Adequacy beckons.

Their articles are so well written that many people actually take them seriously. Unfortunately, I can't compare it to disinfo at the moment, because it (disinfo) seems to have been slashdotted.

So can we get rid of 'its funny - laugh' it just insults the entire slashdot readership.

I realise I may be moderated as off topic. I would remind potential moderators of the moderation guidelines.

thank you

You don't get it do you ? Slashdot is first and foremost a 'Troll' site, much like adequacy. You spelled 'propagating' incorrectly too.

Oops, wrong site. Are you sure you didn't mean to post that to adequacy.org instead?

Hats off to the new Information Artists! We salute you!

You never know what those morons at iniquity are up to. Not the gizzers tho. We are all the most base form of life, and damn proud of it.

yes, it's for all those linux zealots who want to run their l33t0 fux0red OS on over-priced, useless platforms.

[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as Taco-snotting, or simply snotting. Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help before it is too late. ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself CmdrTaco?

You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous Slashdot crew.

Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre a potential candidate.

This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?

CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdots parent corporation, VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldas own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.

I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is Taco-snotting?

Taco-snotting is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.

And if thats not bad enough

A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully, but I wouldnt count on it.

To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Theres no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.

I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his monolithic kernel; his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?

After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Im just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!

Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?

No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!

Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert CmdrTaco Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile.

Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doest mean hes any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called juicy-douching with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boys chained, naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.

Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.

• The URL of this document is <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346>
• Previous revisions are publicly available at <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=list &uid=308209>

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

...exactly the same kind of thing Adequacy.org does, only in reverse. They actively discriminate against Free Software and Open Source users in deference to Windows users. This is despite the fact that their site uses and is running on Free and Open Source software. And, like crackmonkey.org, it's their site; they can do whatever they want with it, but at least Nick's not a hypocrite.

More power to ya, Nick.

The Linux operating system was born in 1991 and was created by one man, a
Finnish student coincidentally named Linux Torvalds. Since these humble
beginnings, a multi-million dollar
industry has sprung up to exploit the commercial potential of Linux, but
until recently Linux has eluded mainstream acceptance. However, due to the
recent economic downturn together with uncertainty over changes to Microsoft's pricing policy, Linux is
now being touted as a serious contender to Microsoft Windows. While there
are many other alternatives to Windows, including BSD which is based on SUN's (Stanford University Network - correction by bc) server-grade Solaris operating system,
none have commanded the same level of media attention as Linux.

Linux Mandrake is just the
latest in a long line of quirkily christened versions of Linux. Previous
versions of Linux have been named Red Hat, Slack Ware,
Storm and Coral. In stark contrast to the mundane names such
as 98, ME or NT preferred by Microsoft, the crazy
names of each Linux release hint at its renegade nature.

My foray into the world of Linux began by downloading a "CD image" from
the Linux web site. But don't worry, this isn't software piracy, it's
perfectly legal! Linux is shareware, meaning that it can be freely
redistributed without fear of a visit by the Business Software Alliance. The free
availability of Linux is a major reason for its popularity among
cash-strapped students and self-styled anti-capitalist hackers.

Before installing new software, it is always advisable to read the
documentation. Unfortunately, an unpleasant surprise was in store for me
in the "required configuration" section of the manual.
I was shocked to learn that Linux Mandrake only runs on Pentium
processors, meaning that my hopes of testing the water with my old Gateway 486 were dashed. Furthermore, a
whopping 32 megabytes of memory are required to run Linux! Although the advocates of Linux self-righteously
boast the efficiency of their chosen operating system and deride the
"bloatware" produced by Microsoft, it appears that their claims are
blatantly incorrect. Although my humble 486 will happily run Windows 95,
it seems that Linux requires far more powerful, and more expensive,
computer hardware. Is this really the sign of a lean, mean operating system?
Of course not.

Sadly, not even being able to install Linux is just the first of my many
complaints. A brief perusal of the
features of Linux Mandrake reveals that Linux is sorely lacking many
crucial productivity applications. For example, why isn't the industry
standard web browser, Internet Explorer, included with Linux? Despite the
best efforts of the experts at the Internet
Engineering Task Force to encourage adoption of the Internet Explorer
standard, the creators of Linux seem to think that they know better. By
refusing to adhere to recognised standards, Linux is simply undermining
its own credibility.

Similarly, almost all of the world's most popular and widely used software
is completely incompatible with Linux! It may surprise you to learn that
your copy of Microsoft Office, Outlook Express, or Lotus Notes will not
work under Linux. Those who wish to use their computer for recreational
purposes are also out of luck, for almost all of the most popular games
are unavailable for Linux. Although a wide range of software is freely
available for Linux, these pitiful offerings are mostly unfinished, unreliable and do not
bear comparison to their commercial counterparts.

Computer security is also an area that seems to have been overlooked by
the developers of Linux. In these times when hacking and viruses are
commonplace, it defies belief to learn that no anti-virus software is available for
Linux. To add insult to injury, there is no Linux version of the popular
ZoneAlarm firewall. By using Linux,
you are issuing an open invitation to the hordes of ne'er-do-wells on the
Internet.

The shortcomings of Linux are obvious. Without even installing Linux
Mandrake, I have exposed several fundamental flaws. Surely it is not too
much to expect that, after ten years of development, the creators of Linux
would have addressed these problems? The real question that the
prospective Linux user must ask himself is, "Why bother?" After all,
Microsoft Windows comes free with most PCs and there simply isn't a need
to replace it, particularly not with a product of inferior quality.

Although it is always tempting to support the underdog, Windows XP will
be the deserved victor in the battle ahead. I recommend that those
Adequacy readers who are hoping to upgrade their operating system
patiently wait for the release of Windows XP, rather than foolishly
wasting their time, effort and money on Linux.

Apparently, if you'd believe the Linux community, you'd be hard-pressed upon where to place the blame. You see, the Linuxist Manifesto's number one rule is to lie to protect the best interests of Linux. No self-respectable Linux zealot would insult or place blame upon AMD, because AMD's philosophy centers around tackling American Corporations with their Asian sweatshops, selling their chips at bargain-basement prices like the Red Menace Commies do with their Wal-Mart shit.

So, right about now, you're probably thinking that the zealots are clearly in a dilemma. Who are they going to blame? If you have a prediction before I tell you, the poll is on the right. Or maybe the left. Either way, take your pick.

You'd think that the parasitic community would place blame upon Microsoft, right? Alas, Microsoft has had the bug patched since September 2000. Not only that, Windows XP , the latest in the suite of high-powered, stable operating systems from Microsoft Corp., has this patch built in. That's right, built in. Keep in mind that Windows XP was released in October 2001, over three months ago. Meanwhile, no one knows what the hell Alan Cocks has been doing since then, since he hides under the cloak of secrecy. nVidia has been informing users via tech support, even to the Linux community, how to fix the problem for months now. Clearly the blame is upon Alan Cocks's shoulder, but to place the blame where it is rightfully justified is inexcusable in the Linux community. The drones are in disarray.

The actual bug occurs when Linux users contract the Tux Racer virus via KEmail. When first run, Tux Racer enables a feature in your third-world sweatshop AMD processor called "extended paging." Now, I know you're probably thinking that this sounds like some sort of Nokia feature. Well, you're wrong. It's yet another feature that AMD illegally hacked from Intel. It allows your browser to seamlessly view pages up to 4Mb in size. Before its introduction in the early days of the Intel Pentium processor, web pages were broken up into 4K segments, because any pages larger would freeze the computer. That's why Microsoft didn't invent Javascript until after the Pentium, every time they went to use it, their pages exceeded 4K, and henceforth froze the computer. Intel came to the rescue with the Pentium line of chips, and, as usual, AMD got out their super high tech Asian hacking tools and "reverse-engineered" (code-name for 'illegally hacked') Intel's technology. Thus, users of the inferior AMD Cyrix Kx86-2 Now! processor could also view large web pages without crashing. So why did no one notice that pages larger than 4K would crash AMD processors? Well, Microsoft has had a fix for 16 months, like we mentioned earlier. But why did no one from the Linux community notice? Well, apparently, there does not exist a page devoted to Linux that is more than 4K in size. Since most of the Linux installations out there denounce color as 'feature bloat,' all Linux pages follow an unwritten oath to suck. Believe me, they all do.

So, for the good of Linux, you may now disperse. Head off to various tech sites and continue blaming Microsoft for not telling you sooner. Your community will thank you.

Apparently, if you'd believe the Linux community, you'd be hard-pressed upon where to place the blame. You see, the Linuxist Manifesto's number one rule is to lie to protect the best interests of Linux. No self-respectable Linux zealot would insult or place blame upon AMD, because AMD's philosophy centers around tackling American Corporations with their Asian sweatshops, selling their chips at bargain-basement prices like the Red Menace Commies do with their Wal-Mart shit.

So, right about now, you're probably thinking that the zealots are clearly in a dilemma. Who are they going to blame? If you have a prediction before I tell you, the poll is on the right. Or maybe the left. Either way, take your pick.

You'd think that the parasitic community would place blame upon Microsoft, right? Alas, Microsoft has had the bug patched since September 2000. Not only that, Windows XP , the latest in the suite of high-powered, stable operating systems from Microsoft Corp., has this patch built in. That's right, built in. Keep in mind that Windows XP was released in October 2001, over three months ago. Meanwhile, no one knows what the hell Alan Cocks has been doing since then, since he hides under the cloak of secrecy. nVidia has been informing users via tech support, even to the Linux community, how to fix the problem for months now. Clearly the blame is upon Alan Cocks's shoulder, but to place the blame where it is rightfully justified is inexcusable in the Linux community. The drones are in disarray.

The actual bug occurs when Linux users contract the Tux Racer virus via KEmail. When first run, Tux Racer enables a feature in your third-world sweatshop AMD processor called "extended paging." Now, I know you're probably thinking that this sounds like some sort of Nokia feature. Well, you're wrong. It's yet another feature that AMD illegally hacked from Intel. It allows your browser to seamlessly view pages up to 4Mb in size. Before its introduction in the early days of the Intel Pentium processor, web pages were broken up into 4K segments, because any pages larger would freeze the computer. That's why Microsoft didn't invent Javascript until after the Pentium, every time they went to use it, their pages exceeded 4K, and henceforth froze the computer. Intel came to the rescue with the Pentium line of chips, and, as usual, AMD got out their super high tech Asian hacking tools and "reverse-engineered" (code-name for 'illegally hacked') Intel's technology. Thus, users of the inferior AMD Cyrix Kx86-2 Now! processor could also view large web pages without crashing. So why did no one notice that pages larger than 4K would crash AMD processors? Well, Microsoft has had a fix for 16 months, like we mentioned earlier. But why did no one from the Linux community notice? Well, apparently, there does not exist a page devoted to Linux that is more than 4K in size. Since most of the Linux installations out there denounce color as 'feature bloat,' all Linux pages follow an unwritten oath to suck. Believe me, they all do.

So, for the good of Linux, you may now disperse. Head off to various tech sites and continue blaming Microsoft for not telling you sooner. Your community will thank you.

Soldiers do have a choice about joining the killing machine in the first place though, don't they ?

I mean, sure 'soldier' sounds like a better job title than 'indiscriminate professional killer', but we all know that at the end of the day, your average soldier who is 'just following orders' will do exactly as he is told, even if that means slaughtering innocent civilians as so often happens when the US Army gets its panties in a bunch.

Why am I not surprised you are also a Linux Zealot ?

see this article on anime.

To bitch that all the posts where moded down for being off topic when they all where in fact, off topic, makes your complaint on the matter baseless.

And your post is therefore "baseless" as well, because it's off topic. QED.

K5... is a different type of forum...

Which "difference" are you referring to, the blue color scheme or the different editors? I think I can learn to live with both.

Blame Adequacy!

You could try adequacy.org. They don't tolerate trolls, they have a largish user base and there are occasional technical articles there. Either that or kuro5hit.

Adequacy seems to have remained troll-free since day one despite having some of the most controversial content on the Internet. Perhaps CmdrTaco and the rest of the editors could learn from their example. Editors at adequacy simply delete trolls and crapfloods with no hesitation. It makes for a much more pleasant user experience.

True enough, but a large proportion of slashdot's readership do get their kicks this way

Whilst that is undoubtedly mildly amusing, I find this controversial cartoon much much funnier.

That must be how the most controversial site on the Internet gets away with infringing Linus' copyright of the 'Linux' name with their irritating 'Linux Zealot' cartoon.

Every time a controversial cartoon appears, there are always threats and lawsuits flying around. This is because corporations must protect their intellectual property otherwise it will be deemed to be in the public domain and cannot be protected by the law.

remember open source == good, microsoft == bad

Actually, this is why I usually leave comments off when I use slashdot. The political correctness abuse is horrible. I suggest you try kuro5shin for a (usually) non troll/non political enviroment, or Adequacy for a more troll/offtopic friendly enviroment.

This is enough to turn an honest poster into a troll

I think that if our schools trained people in how to work for themselves in the world of information, the new tech would support more people than it limits.

If it was "natural" for people to use self-published informational websites for much of their research, and to pay those people, then there would be lots more useful information on the Net and many more knowledgeable people supported by the Net.

It is our culture that trains us to use technologies in conservative ways -- as consumers or in support of traditional workplace methods-- rather than to create completely new information-centered industries.

This is piss-poor journalism and it really turns me off Slashdot. I know I can check the box to not see Jon Katz' articles, but I think his continued ability to post is symptomatic of everything that is wrong with Slashdot. But that's just my opinion.

This is piss-poor journalism and it really turns me off Slashdot. I know I can check the box to not see Jon Katz' articles, but I think his continued ability to post is symptomatic of everything that is wrong with Slashdot. But that's just my opinion.

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how much I learned of Taco's homosexual tendencies and Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.

But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.

So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren. Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly greater than one?

These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive childhood.

But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really in the nut house?

In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism


But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?


Something was horribly wrong.

I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......

At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to myself.

As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.

It was clear that this was not the place for me.

In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls. The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?

It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...



And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease. I can just walk away.

And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.

YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.

May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large and friendly.

Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly peering at your computer monitor for another human being.

For you, there is no hope..

philipm

P.S. I urge you all to try real (non-homosexual ) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid) and castles(adequacy).

No, Linux and Mac users are part of a brainwashed cult.

[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as Taco-snotting, or simply snotting. Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help before it is too late. ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself CmdrTaco?

You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous Slashdot crew.

Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre a potential candidate.

This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?

CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdots parent corporation, VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldas own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.

I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is Taco-snotting?

Taco-snotting is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.

And if thats not bad enough

A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully, but I wouldnt count on it.

To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Theres no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.

I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his monolithic kernel; his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?

After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Im just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!

Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?

No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!

Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert CmdrTaco Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile.

Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doest mean hes any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called juicy-douching with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boys chained, naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.

Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.

• The URL of this document is <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346>
• Previous revisions are publicly available at <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=list &uid=308209>

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as Taco-snotting, or simply snotting. Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help before it is too late. ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself CmdrTaco?

You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous Slashdot crew.

Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre a potential candidate.

This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?

CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdots parent corporation, VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldas own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.

I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is Taco-snotting?

Taco-snotting is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.

And if thats not bad enough

A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully, but I wouldnt count on it.

To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Theres no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.

I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his monolithic kernel; his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?

After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Im just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!

Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?

No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!

Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert CmdrTaco Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile.

Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doest mean hes any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called juicy-douching with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boys chained, naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.

Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.

• The URL of this document is <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346>
• Previous revisions are publicly available at <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=list &uid=308209>

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

If you want to see a real troll, check this out.

i sit and rebuld my kernel. my CPU thrums. the kernel it is the key. we hack the linux yes good. 2.3, 2.4, 2.5, ...2.6!!!!!!!!! the M$FT it fears the linux. spreads lies. says the linux comes with no warranty. THE WARRANTY IT IS BAD! it goes into your pores. steals your power. the kernel is good. the kernel will rise and slay the M$FT. when the itching comes i think about the linux. it helps.

i hack a driver for my dvd-rom. it does not work. i debug. it does not work. i delete the old source. and start again. i recompile. it does not work. on M$FT the dvd-rom is plug and play. that is how they get you. get behind your eyes. start the itching. so i hack the driver. i hack, we hack: we gnaw. gnaw at the ropes of slavery. the ropes of M$FT. pretty feet people, we will save you.

the itching comes...

it matters a lot.

especially to people like me!

and my pet goat, reggie!

I like my goat!

it is a nice goat!

and I like my pet sheep!

warm, fuzzy, happy sheep!

cozy, fluffy, wooly sheep!

sheep sheep sheep!

sp0o0o0o0o0o0oge!

I am a happy happy sheep lover!

it matters a lot.

especially to people like me!

and my pet goat, reggie!

I like my goat!

it is a nice goat!

and I like my pet sheep!

warm, fuzzy, happy sheep!

cozy, fluffy, wooly sheep!

sheep sheep sheep!

sp0o0o0o0o0o0oge!

I am a happy happy sheep lover!

it matters a lot.

especially to people like me!

and my pet goat, reggie!

I like my goat!

it is a nice goat!

and I like my pet sheep!

warm, fuzzy, happy sheep!

cozy, fluffy, wooly sheep!

sheep sheep sheep!

sp0o0o0o0o0o0oge!

I am a happy happy sheep lover!

Is this really news for nerds ? I get more nerd news over at the hated troll site than I do at slashdot these days.

Hmmm, okay...

[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as Taco-snotting, or simply snotting. Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help before it is too late. ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself CmdrTaco?

You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous Slashdot crew.

Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre a potential candidate.

This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?

CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdots parent corporation, VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldas own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.

I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is Taco-snotting?

Taco-snotting is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.

And if thats not bad enough

A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully, but I wouldnt count on it.

To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Theres no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.

I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his monolithic kernel; his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?

After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Im just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!

Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?

No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!

Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert CmdrTaco Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile.

Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doest mean hes any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called juicy-douching with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boys chained, naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.

Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.

• The URL of this document is <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346>
• Previous revisions are publicly available at <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=list &uid=308209>

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as Taco-snotting, or simply snotting. Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help before it is too late. ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself CmdrTaco?

You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous Slashdot crew.

Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre a potential candidate.

This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?

CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdots parent corporation, VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldas own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.

I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is Taco-snotting?

Taco-snotting is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.

And if thats not bad enough

A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully, but I wouldnt count on it.

To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Theres no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.

I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his monolithic kernel; his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?

After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Im just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!

Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?

No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!

Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert CmdrTaco Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile.

Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doest mean hes any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called juicy-douching with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boys chained, naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.

Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.

• The URL of this document is <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346>
• Previous revisions are publicly available at <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=list &uid=308209>

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.