Slashdot Mirror

The best, from The Washington Post

It's too long, it's too dull, it's too lame.
But the mythic source he seems to have based this episode on is . . . "The McLaughlin Group"

It's like reading the latest dispatch on the Mongolian parliament, as reported by Elizabeth Drew in a really cranky mood.

the master Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) and his young mentee, Anakin Skywalker (played by 'N Sync star Justin Timberlake - no, no, played by Hayden Christensen, who looks like an 'N Sync kid but doesn't have as much talent).

I'll tell you one thing: no star system central, as in, say, MGM, would have built a movie around the dim Americans who haunt this one. In fact, the movie is kind of a laboratory on American vs. British technique. Score: Brits 10, Yanks 0.

even an actual great actor, Samuel L. Jackson, seems ridiculous. He never looks comfortable as the Jedi Mace Windu, in robes and boots, and there's nothing he can do at all with a line like "The Genosians aren't warriors. One Jedi has to be worth a hundred Genosians!"

The 'N Sync kid is even worse. He seems to have wandered in from a Pepsi commercial. No, that would have been Justin Timberlake. Who knows where this dreary boy has been?

Salon.com hates it. The Onion isn't impressed, and Adequacy rips it as well.

Ninja Yoda sounds fun though.

Of course spiralx is famous for his archive and adequacy keeps the spirit of trolling alive in the modern web-based internet.

it is a well known fact that AMD Duron processors are made in a sweatshop in Maylasia.
- i have never read anything about AMD making their processors in sweatshops...do you have any information to back that up?

The troller (yes, you were trolled) who started the thread seemed to have been inspired by the adequacy.org article. Specifically, question #3 of the adequacy article deals with AMD processors being used exclusively by hackers.

The article was funny back when it first came out back in December. It's old now, and I'm surprised the idea of AMD as a transnational corporation exploiting native populations for cheap labor made its way into a troll five months later. I don't know if the rest of Adequacy's articles are written in the same style, but this one, with its links-a-plenty, reminds me vaguely of a low-brow Suck (the Wired spin-off that was worth reading once upon a time).

It's rather irksome that so many people actually thought AMD used Asian sweatshops to manufacture chips. Almost as annoying as the number of people who can't spell Malaysia.

Yes, of course AMD has long been known for using child labor in Asian sweatshops to manufacture unAmerican chips that promote piracy.

[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as Taco-snotting, or simply snotting. Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help before it is too late. ed.]

Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself CmdrTaco?

You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert CmdrTaco Malda, owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org. Actually, its not a very popular site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. Its also home to one of the worlds largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous Slashdot crew.

Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnt, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyones guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youre a potential candidate.

This time, he found you. Lucky you.

Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?

CmdrTacos code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thats right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdots parent corporation, VA Software. Mr. Maldas Commander is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldas own lubed-up right hand. His Taco bells are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his Taco sauce is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to ring his Taco bells or taste his gourmet Taco sauce.

I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as Taco-snotting and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a circle-snot.

Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is Taco-snotting?

Taco-snotting is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacos face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, Taco-snotting.

And if thats not bad enough

A circle-snot is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum spooging their jizz-snot all over each others faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyre covered head to toe with their own and each others man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each others spunk and whip each others pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully, but I wouldnt count on it.

To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the Willing to Snot checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and hes probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Theres no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so its probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacos sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to Willing to Snot. Maybe hell ignore you. Probably not.

I cant stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some gourmet Tacos, but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his Commander out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, Open Sauce man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his monolithic kernel; his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their network stack in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about all those Censorware freaks out to get him.

That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?

After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Im just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads I couldve easily been drowned!

Thats horrible. Does Taco-snotting have anything to do with CmdrTacos special taco?

No, thats a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTacos special taco is. You will be wishing that you hadnt been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his special taco, CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his Commander), puts his special taco sauce on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacos jizz?

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacos nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victims ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy. Dont let it be you!

Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert CmdrTaco Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Hes also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnt involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doest mean hes any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called juicy-douching with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boys urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boys chained, naked bodies. If hes in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.

Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arent enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goats anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goats small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.

<B>Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. Im already CmdrTacos boi toi.

• The URL of this document is <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346>
• Previous revisions are publicly available at <http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=list &uid=308209>

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $

Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all hes done to make Slashdot a better place.

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS !
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER !
A hot date with NATALIE PORTMAN !
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE !

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

Note: Now that the Great Slashdot Blackout has started, many of you are probably wondering what you can do instead of post relevant comments (remember, no comments from April 21-27!). Well, the answer is to solve this puzzle! Feel free to repost this puzzle as many times as possible so everyone gets a fair chance to play, and if you have moderator points, mod it up so that (again) everyone gets a fair chance to play. The puzzle contest is over when the Slashdot Blackout is over! After the Blackout is over, please, return to your regularly scheduled activities and don't repost the puzzle anymore. Thanks!

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS [quakergrits.com] [quakergrits.com]!
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]!
A hot date [ea.com] [ea.com] with NATALIE PORTMAN [natalieportman.com] [natalieportman.com]!
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE [vasoftware.com] [vasoftware.com]!

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com [mailto] [mailto]. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here [geocities.com] [geocities.com]. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy [adequacy.org] [adequacy.org] editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project [sethf.com] [sethf.com] wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

This looks like it was ripped off from adequacy.org - the most controversial site on the Internet.

It's happened before. Remember Is Your Son A Computer Hacker?

Note: Now that the Great Slashdot Blackout has started, many of you are probably wondering what you can do instead of post relevant comments (remember, no comments from April 21-27!). Well, the answer is to solve this puzzle! Feel free to repost this puzzle as many times as possible so everyone gets a fair chance to play, and if you have moderator points, mod it up so that (again) everyone gets a fair chance to play. The puzzle contest is over when the Slashdot Blackout is over! After the Blackout is over, please, return to your regularly scheduled activities and don't repost the puzzle anymore. Thanks!

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS [quakergrits.com] [quakergrits.com]!
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]!
A hot date [ea.com] [ea.com] with NATALIE PORTMAN [natalieportman.com] [natalieportman.com]!
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE [vasoftware.com] [vasoftware.com]!

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com [mailto] [mailto]. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here [geocities.com] [geocities.com]. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy [adequacy.org] [adequacy.org] editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project [sethf.com] [sethf.com] wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

Note: Now that the Great Slashdot Blackout has started, many of you are probably wondering what you can do instead of post relevant comments (remember, no comments from April 21-27!). Well, the answer is to solve this puzzle! Feel free to repost this puzzle as many times as possible so everyone gets a fair chance to play, and if you have moderator points, mod it up so that (again) everyone gets a fair chance to play. The puzzle contest is over when the Slashdot Blackout is over! After the Blackout is over, please, return to your regularly scheduled activities and don't repost the puzzle anymore. Thanks!

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS [quakergrits.com] [quakergrits.com]!
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]!
A hot date [ea.com] [ea.com] with NATALIE PORTMAN [natalieportman.com] [natalieportman.com]!
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE [vasoftware.com] [vasoftware.com]!

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com [mailto] [mailto]. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here [geocities.com] [geocities.com]. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy [adequacy.org] [adequacy.org] editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project [sethf.com] [sethf.com] wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS [quakergrits.com]!
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER [slashdot.org]!
A hot date [ea.com] with NATALIE PORTMAN [natalieportman.com]!
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE [vasoftware.com]!

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com [mailto]. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here [geocities.com]. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy [adequacy.org] editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project [sethf.com] wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:

A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS !
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER !
A hot date with NATALIE PORTMAN !
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE !

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here. Good luck!

+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+

THE CLUES:

Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin

This might have been a credible troll. But...

It turns out that its just this article, with "heterosexual" subistituted for "black", and "NAMBLA" substituted for "Ku Klux Klan". This also explains why the acronyms as displayed in this plagiary don't work.

If you consider yourself a 'grown-up', you should've left Slashdot for someplace with, you know, actually journalism and whatnot a long time ago.

True. Journalism around here is nonexistant. Maybe I should leave for somewhere with higher standards. Maybe even for a community that has editors who are actually involved with their own site.

I hear Adequacy is nice this time of year.

The post above looks very much like the ones on adequacy.org, both in style and content.

According to this guy, using AMD, Bonzai Buddy, Flash, and Quake makes you a hacker.

Depending on how you read it, it's either hilarious parody or a woefully misinformed parent. I was in the hilarious parody camp until I saw the rest of his articles.

According to this guy, using AMD, Bonzai Buddy, Flash, and Quake makes you a hacker.

Depending on how you read it, it's either hilarious parody or a woefully misinformed parent. I was in the hilarious parody camp until I saw the rest of his articles.

I really wish they would at least mention that IRC for the most part is just ppl getting together online like they would in real life, doing completely legit things and yes even helping people out in some places. The slant on the article is way to anti-IRC, it's like saying "clubs aid pedophiles in trading kiddie pr0n." I can see how some techno-n00b parents could start restricting their childrens IRC access purely because of this article. :(

Reminds me of this article.

Uh-oh. It appears you've given your audience too much credit again. In the future, you may want to refer to this article, which spells out how to, well, spell it out for an audience not entirely up to the task of catching nuance.

Im pretty sure this is the kind of controversial stuff that adequacy.org would be interested in.

Angry and clueless? OK, now that I know what CmdrTaco thinks of me, I won't post anymore. This just goes to show how ignorant some web site operators can be. (Read the linked editorial. As a media organization, Slashdot undermines the trust it has worked to build.)

(My take on /. today: it is idiocy to place fake stories. They don't fool, at least not me, and they don't amuse. They just annoy and get in the way. Then CmdrTaco insulting his users, well, that takes the cake!)

I know what you mean. I am currently having a lot of difficulty differentiating Slashdot from Adequacy

If you are looking for "consensus," you aren't looking at the right site. ;) But realistically the only thing between this bill and passage is a divided Congress (and the House of Representatives may well go Democratic this cycle). Democrats are beholden to Hollywood's money and Republicans are beholden to shareholders -- and a lot of people own media company stock. As Will Rogers said, "We have the best Congress money can buy."

Your eloquence and sheer fucking way with words would be very welcome over at the most controversial site on the Internet

I find the community over at the most controversial site on the Internet always provide a thought-provoking discussion of the issues at hand.

I realise that Asparger's sufferers and autistic savants such as RMS have trouble listening to other people, but surely after banging on about software patents to a disinterested audience for 10 whole years he should by now have got the message!

RMS - give up, the world doesn't care, you are wasting you breath and your time.

You copypasted this from www.adequacy.org

Of course, don't forget to read Jelerial's e-mails! Here you'll discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... A circlejerk? A wankfest? Make lame attempts to troll Slashdot with all your friends? Plagiarize other troll's comments and censor anybody who complains about it?

In short, if you haven't been to Jelerial's site, you don't know what you're missing!

Of course, don't forget to read Jelerial's e-mails! Here you'll discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... A circlejerk? A wankfest? Make lame attempts to troll Slashdot with all your friends? Plagiarize other troll's comments and censor anybody who complains about it?

In short, if you haven't been to Jelerial's site, you don't know what you're missing!

Of course, don't forget to read Jelerial's e-mails! Here you'll discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... A circlejerk? A wankfest? Make lame attempts to troll Slashdot with all your friends? Plagiarize other troll's comments and censor anybody who complains about it?

In short, if you haven't been to Jelerial's site, you don't know what you're missing!

Of course, don't forget to read Jelerial's e-mails! Here you'll discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... A circlejerk? A wankfest? Make lame attempts to troll Slashdot with all your friends? Plagiarize other troll's comments and censor anybody who complains about it?

In short, if you haven't been to Jelerial's site, you don't know what you're missing!

Of course, don't forget to read Jelerial's e-mails! Here you'll discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... A circlejerk? A wankfest? Make lame attempts to troll Slashdot with all your friends? Plagiarize other troll's comments and censor anybody who complains about it?

In short, if you haven't been to Jelerial's site, you don't know what you're missing!

Allow me to explain.

Alan Cox; Richard Stallman; Bruce Perens; Wichert Akkerman; Miguel DeIcaza.

What do you see in this list of names? Are there any African-Americans on it? Absolutely not, none of those names sound like one a self-respecting black person would have! No Maurice, no Luther, no Lil' Kim. There are many other lists such as this, you can see one here. Flip through each page, do you see anything other than white faces? Of course you don't, because Open Source and its adherents are ardent racists and they absolutely forbid access to the sacred 'kernel' by any person of color.

Lets look at another list, this time a compendium of the companies using Linux. Are there any black owned companies on that list? Nooooooo. How about these companies? They all have something to do with Open Source software, any of them owned by an African-American? No again. Here is an extensive collection of photographs from a LUG (Linux User Gathering) meeting, more can be viewed at that link. What is odd about these pictures, and every other photograph I have ever seen of a LUG meeting, is that there is not one single black person to be seen, and probably none for miles.

More racist overtones can be found by examining the language of Open Source. They often refer to 'white hat' hackers. These 'white hats' scurry about the Internet doing good, but illegal, acts for their fellow man. In stark contrast we find the 'black hat' hackers. They destroy the good works of others by breaking into systems, stealing data, and generally causing havoc. These two terms reflect the mindset of most Linux developers. White means good, black means bad. Anywhere there is black, there is uncontrollable destruction and lawlessness. Looking further we see black lists that inform other users of 'bad' hardware, Samba, an obvious play on the much hated Little Black Sambo book, Mandrake, which I won't explain except to say that the French are notorious racists. This type is linguistic discrimination is widespread throughout the Open Source culture, lampooned by many of its more popular sites.

It is also a fact that all Unix 'distros' contain a plethora of racist commands with not so hidden symbolism.

It can hardly be coincidence that the prime operating system of choice of the 'open source supremacists' - Linux, features commands which are poorly disguised racist acronyms. For example: 'awk' (All White Klan) , 'sed' (shoot nEgroes dead), 'ln' (lynch negroes), 'rpm' (raical purity mandatory), 'bash' (bring a slave home), 'ps' (persecute sambo), 'mount' (murder or unseat nubians today), 'fsck' (favored supreme Christian klan). I could go on and on about the latent racist symbolism in Linux, but I fear it would take weeks to enumerate every incidence.

Is there a single unix command out there that does not have some hidden racist connotation ? Suffice it to say that the racism pervades Linux like a particularly bad smell. Can you imagine the effect of running such a racist operating system on the impressionable mind ? I don't have to remind you that transmitting subliminal messages is banned in the USA, and yet here we have an operating system that appears to be one enormous submliminal ad for the Klan!

One of the few selling points of Open Source software is that it is available in many different languages. Browsing through the list I see that absolutely none are offered in Swahili, nor Ebonics. Obviously this is done to prevent black people from having access to the kernel. If it weren't for the fact that racism is so blatantly evil I would be impressed by the efforts these Open Sourcers have invested in keeping their little hobby lilly white. It even appears that they hate the Japanese, as some of these self proclaimed hackers defaced a web site with anti-Japanese slogans. Hell, these people even go all the way to Africa (South Africa mind you, better known as White Africa) and the pictures prove that they don't even get close to a black person.

Of course, presenting overwhelming evidence such as this is a bit unfair without some attempt to determine why these Open Sourcers are so racist. Much of the evidence I have collected indicates that their views are so deeply held that they are seldom questioned by the new recruits. This, coupled with the robot-like groupthink that dominates the culture allows the racist mindset to continue to permeate the ranks. Indeed, the Open Source version of a Klan rally, OSDN (known to the world as Open Source Developer's Network, known to insiders as Open Source Denies Negroes) nearly stands up and shouts its racist views on its demographics page. It doesn't mention the black man one single time. Obviously, anyone involved with Open Source doesn't need to be told that the demographic is entirely white, it is a given.

I have a sneaking suspicion as to why their beliefs are so closely held: they are all terrible athletes.

Really. Much like the tragedy at Columbine High School, where two geeks went on a rampage to get back at 'jocks', these adult geeks still bear the emotional scars inflicted upon them due to their lack of athletic ability during their teen years. As African-Americans are well known for their athletic skills, they are an obvious target for the Open Source geeks. As we all know, sports builds character, thus it follows that the lack of sports destroys character. These geeks, locked away in their rooms, munching on stale pizza and Fritos, engage in no character building activities. Further, they interact only with computers and never develop the level of social skill that allows normal people to handle relationships with persons of color.

Contrasted with the closed source, non-geeky software house Microsoft, Open Source has a long, long way to go.

Join me in my next article where I will lay bare the rampant anti-semitism in the Open Source community.

Dear Troll,

We are sad to inform you that, after careful consideration , we have rejected your troll submission to the Troll Library.

You show a a poor skill at trolling. Please go read Troll Howto, and try again. Either that, or stick to adequacy.

Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered NetBSD community when last month goatse.cx confirmed that NetBSD accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all servers. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that NetBSD has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. NetBSD is collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.

You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict NetBSD's future. The hand writing is on the wall: NetBSD faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for NetBSD because NetBSD is dying. Things are looking very bad for NetBSD. As many of us are already aware, NetBSD continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood. NetBSD is the most endangered of them all.

Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

NetBSD leader Theo DeRaadt states that there are 7000 users of OpenNetBSD. How many users of NetNetBSD are there? Let's see. The number of OpenNetBSD versus NetNetBSD posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 NetNetBSD users. NetBSD/OS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of NetNetBSD posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of NetBSD/OS. A recent article put FreeNetBSD at about 80 percent of the NetBSD market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 FreeNetBSD users. This is consistent with the number of FreeNetBSD Usenet posts.

Due to the troubles of OpenBSD, abysmal sales and so on, WindRiver went out of business and was taken over by Palm, Inc. who sell another troubled OS. Now Palm, Inc. is also dead, its corpse turned over to another charnel house.

All major surveys show that NetBSD has steadily declined in market share. NetBSD is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If NetBSD is to survive at all it will be among OS hobbyist dabblers. NetBSD continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, NetBSD is dead.

Fact: NetBSD is dead.

I would like to share with you a story - a story of pain, rejection, denial, loneliness, and perhaps, at the end, triumph and a happy ending. This story begins just three short years ago...

I was in my senior year of highschool, and as was the style at the time, I was very much interested in computers. I loved to take them apart, figure out how they worked, write programs with Microsoft's fine development environment, Visual Studio. As was also the style at the time, I loved to read webpages, in particularly, Slashdot.org. Perhaps you can guess what happened next. I began to slowly change - I developed an unhealthy obsession with computers, began to dislike and openly question America's policies, started shamelessly pirating music and software, and most dangerously, got turned on to that most deviant operating system of all - Linux.

Now I know many of you must be shaking your head in disgust at this point - "This must just be another one of those M$ trolls, hardee har har," but please, hear me out. This is very important.

As time went on, I got deeper and deeper in the Linux underground. I progressed through the various levels of "distros," from Mandrake, to Suse, to RedHat, finally to Debian, like a drug user going from harmless marijuana to cocaine and heroin. I thought I was so smart; I began sneering at other people who didn't use Linux - "Clueless Windo$e luzers," I would say. I was changing outwardly as well. I became a loner, hunched over the keyboard late into the night with the lights off, listening to my illegally downloaded music. All my friends left me after I broke their computers trying to install Linux on them. My hair grew long and unkempt, I stopped bathing and using deodorant, calling them "tools of capitalism and American greed." I got fired from my sysadmin job for installing slackware over the Solaris servers, and installing Debian over the Windows desktops. My bosses told me I cost the company hundreds of thousands of dollars, but I would not listen. "How could I be wrong, I'm using Linux?" I thought, "They must be M$ shills." You can see how far gone I was. No girls would look at me, let alone speak to me. I was in a world of pain, anger, and confusion.

But, then one day, I took a long hard look at myself. I saw that something was wrong, but did not know what. I must confess, for a long time I denied what I knew deep down inside my heart - Linux was the cause of all my troubles. I saw what I had allowed myself to become. I was no longer a human being, I was a Linux Zealot. Instead of judging people by their thoughts, feelings, and actions, I judged them by their choice of Operating System. And so began the long road toward recovery...

I am still not fully recovered from my affliction, for you see, I have only one desktop machine, and cannot install Windows without losing much of my data. That's right, I am healthy enough to admit it, Linux is not for desktop use. I am planning my next desktop machine purchase, which will be an Apple iBook. The one good thing that came out of my years of torment is that I learned the power of Unix. Therefore, I will use MacOSX - a true Unix with excellent support and commercial software backing, something Linux will never have. By paying for my software from now on, I will be supporting the American economy. I want to help get America out of this economic tailspin brought on by open source software and the dot com bust. More importantly, I will no longer be an operating system zealot. I will be friendly, kind, and generous to my fellow humans, no matter which operating system they use. I am now slowly regaining my friends, and last weekend I actually got invited to a party - my first party! Perhaps this weekend I will ask a cute girl out on a date. Since I have cleaned myself up and changed my attitude, I have noticed a few girls giving me flirty looks around campus. I'm so excited about my new life!

Please, Fellow Readers of Slashdot, I implore you to look at what you have become. Although it will be long and difficult, you too can change. I have faith in that. You can start by saying this with me - "Microsoft is not evil, Linux is not good for the desktop." Repeat that every time you feel yourself slipping. Together, we can right this horrible wrong.

Thank You.

Dear Troll,

We are sad to inform you that, after careful consideration , we have rejected your troll submission to the Troll Library.

You show a a poor skill at trolling. Please go read Troll Howto, and try again. Either that, or stick to adequacy.

Dear Troll,

We are sad to inform you that, after careful consideration , we have rejected your troll submission to the Troll Library.

You show a a poor skill at trolling. Please go read Troll Howto, and try again. Either that, or stick to adequacy.

Dear Troll,

We are sad to inform you that, after careful consideration , we have rejected your troll submission from the Troll Library.

You show a a poor skill at trolling. Please go read Troll Howto, and try again. Either that, or stick to adequacy.

-everybody else on Slashdot

I would like to share with you a story - a story of pain, rejection, denial, loneliness, and perhaps, at the end, triumph and a happy ending. This story begins just three short years ago...

I was in my senior year of highschool, and as was the style at the time, I was very much interested in computers. I loved to take them apart, figure out how they worked, write programs with Microsoft's fine development environment, Visual Studio. As was also the style at the time, I loved to read webpages, in particularly, Slashdot.org. Perhaps you can guess what happened next. I began to slowly change - I developed an unhealthy obsession with computers, began to dislike and openly question America's policies, started shamelessly pirating music and software, and most dangerously, got turned on to that most deviant operating system of all - Linux.

Now I know many of you must be shaking your head in disgust at this point - "This must just be another one of those M$ trolls, hardee har har," but please, hear me out. This is very important.

As time went on, I got deeper and deeper in the Linux underground. I progressed through the various levels of "distros," from Mandrake, to Suse, to RedHat, finally to Debian, like a drug user going from harmless marijuana to cocaine and heroin. I thought I was so smart; I began sneering at other people who didn't use Linux - "Clueless Windo$e luzers," I would say. I was changing outwardly as well. I became a loner, hunched over the keyboard late into the night with the lights off, listening to my illegally downloaded music. All my friends left me after I broke their computers trying to install Linux on them. My hair grew long and unkempt, I stopped bathing and using deodorant, calling them "tools of capitalism and American greed." I got fired from my sysadmin job for installing slackware over the Solaris servers, and installing Debian over the Windows desktops. My bosses told me I cost the company hundreds of thousands of dollars, but I would not listen. "How could I be wrong, I'm using Linux?" I thought, "They must be M$ shills." You can see how far gone I was. No girls would look at me, let alone speak to me. I was in a world of pain, anger, and confusion.

But, then one day, I took a long hard look at myself. I saw that something was wrong, but did not know what. I must confess, for a long time I denied what I knew deep down inside my heart - Linux was the cause of all my troubles. I saw what I had allowed myself to become. I was no longer a human being, I was a Linux Zealot. Instead of judging people by their thoughts, feelings, and actions, I judged them by their choice of Operating System. And so began the long road toward recovery...

I am still not fully recovered from my affliction, for you see, I have only one desktop machine, and cannot install Windows without losing much of my data. That's right, I am healthy enough to admit it, Linux is not for desktop use. I am planning my next desktop machine purchase, which will be an Apple iBook. The one good thing that came out of my years of torment is that I learned the power of Unix. Therefore, I will use MacOSX - a true Unix with excellent support and commercial software backing, something Linux will never have. By paying for my software from now on, I will be supporting the American economy. I want to help get America out of this economic tailspin brought on by open source software and the dot com bust. More importantly, I will no longer be an operating system zealot. I will be friendly, kind, and generous to my fellow humans, no matter which operating system they use. I am now slowly regaining my friends, and last weekend I actually got invited to a party - my first party! Perhaps this weekend I will ask a cute girl out on a date. Since I have cleaned myself up and changed my attitude, I have noticed a few girls giving me flirty looks around campus. I'm so excited about my new life!

Please, Fellow Readers of Slashdot, I implore you to look at what you have become. Although it will be long and difficult, you too can change. I have faith in that. You can start by saying this with me - "Microsoft is not evil, Linux is not good for the desktop." Repeat that every time you feel yourself slipping. Together, we can right this horrible wrong.

Thank You.

I would like to share with you a story - a story of pain, rejection, denial, loneliness, and perhaps, at the end, triumph and a happy ending. This story begins just three short years ago...

I was in my senior year of highschool, and as was the style at the time, I was very much interested in computers. I loved to take them apart, figure out how they worked, write programs with Microsoft's fine development environment, Visual Studio. As was also the style at the time, I loved to read webpages, in particularly, Slashdot.org. Perhaps you can guess what happened next. I began to slowly change - I developed an unhealthy obsession with computers, began to dislike and openly question America's policies, started shamelessly pirating music and software, and most dangerously, got turned on to that most deviant operating system of all - Linux.

Now I know many of you must be shaking your head in disgust at this point - "This must just be another one of those M$ trolls, hardee har har," but please, hear me out. This is very important.

As time went on, I got deeper and deeper in the Linux underground. I progressed through the various levels of "distros," from Mandrake, to Suse, to RedHat, finally to Debian, like a drug user going from harmless marijuana to cocaine and heroin. I thought I was so smart; I began sneering at other people who didn't use Linux - "Clueless Windo$e luzers," I would say. I was changing outwardly as well. I became a loner, hunched over the keyboard late into the night with the lights off, listening to my illegally downloaded music. All my friends left me after I broke their computers trying to install Linux on them. My hair grew long and unkempt, I stopped bathing and using deodorant, calling them "tools of capitalism and American greed." I got fired from my sysadmin job for installing slackware over the Solaris servers, and installing Debian over the Windows desktops. My bosses told me I cost the company hundreds of thousands of dollars, but I would not listen. "How could I be wrong, I'm using Linux?" I thought, "They must be M$ shills." You can see how far gone I was. No girls would look at me, let alone speak to me. I was in a world of pain, anger, and confusion.

But, then one day, I took a long hard look at myself. I saw that something was wrong, but did not know what. I must confess, for a long time I denied what I knew deep down inside my heart - Linux was the cause of all my troubles. I saw what I had allowed myself to become. I was no longer a human being, I was a Linux Zealot. Instead of judging people by their thoughts, feelings, and actions, I judged them by their choice of Operating System. And so began the long road toward recovery...

I am still not fully recovered from my affliction, for you see, I have only one desktop machine, and cannot install Windows without losing much of my data. That's right, I am healthy enough to admit it, Linux is not for desktop use. I am planning my next desktop machine purchase, which will be an Apple iBook. The one good thing that came out of my years of torment is that I learned the power of Unix. Therefore, I will use MacOSX - a true Unix with excellent support and commercial software backing, something Linux will never have. By paying for my software from now on, I will be supporting the American economy. I want to help get America out of this economic tailspin brought on by open source software and the dot com bust. More importantly, I will no longer be an operating system zealot. I will be friendly, kind, and generous to my fellow humans, no matter which operating system they use. I am now slowly regaining my friends, and last weekend I actually got invited to a party - my first party! Perhaps this weekend I will ask a cute girl out on a date. Since I have cleaned myself up and changed my attitude, I have noticed a few girls giving me flirty looks around campus. I'm so excited about my new life!

Please, Fellow Readers of Slashdot, I implore you to look at what you have become. Although it will be long and difficult, you too can change. I have faith in that. You can start by saying this with me - "Microsoft is not evil, Linux is not good for the desktop." Repeat that every time you feel yourself slipping. Together, we can right this horrible wrong.

Thank You.

I would like to share with you a story - a story of pain, rejection, denial, loneliness, and perhaps, at the end, triumph and a happy ending. This story begins just three short years ago...

I was in my senior year of highschool, and as was the style at the time, I was very much interested in computers. I loved to take them apart, figure out how they worked, write programs with Microsoft's fine development environment, Visual Studio. As was also the style at the time, I loved to read webpages, in particularly, Slashdot.org. Perhaps you can guess what happened next. I began to slowly change - I developed an unhealthy obsession with computers, began to dislike and openly question America's policies, started shamelessly pirating music and software, and most dangerously, got turned on to that most deviant operating system of all - Linux.

Now I know many of you must be shaking your head in disgust at this point - "This must just be another one of those M$ trolls, hardee har har," but please, hear me out. This is very important.

As time went on, I got deeper and deeper in the Linux underground. I progressed through the various levels of "distros," from Mandrake, to Suse, to RedHat, finally to Debian, like a drug user going from harmless marijuana to cocaine and heroin. I thought I was so smart; I began sneering at other people who didn't use Linux - "Clueless Windo$e luzers," I would say. I was changing outwardly as well. I became a loner, hunched over the keyboard late into the night with the lights off, listening to my illegally downloaded music. All my friends left me after I broke their computers trying to install Linux on them. My hair grew long and unkempt, I stopped bathing and using deodorant, calling them "tools of capitalism and American greed." I got fired from my sysadmin job for installing slackware over the Solaris servers, and installing Debian over the Windows desktops. My bosses told me I cost the company hundreds of thousands of dollars, but I would not listen. "How could I be wrong, I'm using Linux?" I thought, "They must be M$ shills." You can see how far gone I was. No girls would look at me, let alone speak to me. I was in a world of pain, anger, and confusion.

But, then one day, I took a long hard look at myself. I saw that something was wrong, but did not know what. I must confess, for a long time I denied what I knew deep down inside my heart - Linux was the cause of all my troubles. I saw what I had allowed myself to become. I was no longer a human being, I was a Linux Zealot. Instead of judging people by their thoughts, feelings, and actions, I judged them by their choice of Operating System. And so began the long road toward recovery...

I am still not fully recovered from my affliction, for you see, I have only one desktop machine, and cannot install Windows without losing much of my data. That's right, I am healthy enough to admit it, Linux is not for desktop use. I am planning my next desktop machine purchase, which will be an Apple iBook. The one good thing that came out of my years of torment is that I learned the power of Unix. Therefore, I will use MacOSX - a true Unix with excellent support and commercial software backing, something Linux will never have. By paying for my software from now on, I will be supporting the American economy. I want to help get America out of this economic tailspin brought on by open source software and the dot com bust. More importantly, I will no longer be an operating system zealot. I will be friendly, kind, and generous to my fellow humans, no matter which operating system they use. I am now slowly regaining my friends, and last weekend I actually got invited to a party - my first party! Perhaps this weekend I will ask a cute girl out on a date. Since I have cleaned myself up and changed my attitude, I have noticed a few girls giving me flirty looks around campus. I'm so excited about my new life!

Please, Fellow Readers of Slashdot, I implore you to look at what you have become. Although it will be long and difficult, you too can change. I have faith in that. You can start by saying this with me - "Microsoft is not evil, Linux is not good for the desktop." Repeat that every time you feel yourself slipping. Together, we can right this horrible wrong.

Thank You.

I would like to share with you a story - a story of pain, rejection, denial, loneliness, and perhaps, at the end, triumph and a happy ending. This story begins just three short years ago...

I was in my senior year of highschool, and as was the style at the time, I was very much interested in computers. I loved to take them apart, figure out how they worked, write programs with Microsoft's fine development environment, Visual Studio. As was also the style at the time, I loved to read webpages, in particularly, Slashdot.org. Perhaps you can guess what happened next. I began to slowly change - I developed an unhealthy obsession with computers, began to dislike and openly question America's policies, started shamelessly pirating music and software, and most dangerously, got turned on to that most deviant operating system of all - Linux.

Now I know many of you must be shaking your head in disgust at this point - "This must just be another one of those M$ trolls, hardee har har," but please, hear me out. This is very important.

As time went on, I got deeper and deeper in the Linux underground. I progressed through the various levels of "distros," from Mandrake, to Suse, to RedHat, finally to Debian, like a drug user going from harmless marijuana to cocaine and heroin. I thought I was so smart; I began sneering at other people who didn't use Linux - "Clueless Windo$e luzers," I would say. I was changing outwardly as well. I became a loner, hunched over the keyboard late into the night with the lights off, listening to my illegally downloaded music. All my friends left me after I broke their computers trying to install Linux on them. My hair grew long and unkempt, I stopped bathing and using deodorant, calling them "tools of capitalism and American greed." I got fired from my sysadmin job for installing slackware over the Solaris servers, and installing Debian over the Windows desktops. My bosses told me I cost the company hundreds of thousands of dollars, but I would not listen. "How could I be wrong, I'm using Linux?" I thought, "They must be M$ shills." You can see how far gone I was. No girls would look at me, let alone speak to me. I was in a world of pain, anger, and confusion.

But, then one day, I took a long hard look at myself. I saw that something was wrong, but did not know what. I must confess, for a long time I denied what I knew deep down inside my heart - Linux was the cause of all my troubles. I saw what I had allowed myself to become. I was no longer a human being, I was a Linux Zealot. Instead of judging people by their thoughts, feelings, and actions, I judged them by their choice of Operating System. And so began the long road toward recovery...

I am still not fully recovered from my affliction, for you see, I have only one desktop machine, and cannot install Windows without losing much of my data. That's right, I am healthy enough to admit it, Linux is not for desktop use. I am planning my next desktop machine purchase, which will be an Apple iBook. The one good thing that came out of my years of torment is that I learned the power of Unix. Therefore, I will use MacOSX - a true Unix with excellent support and commercial software backing, something Linux will never have. By paying for my software from now on, I will be supporting the American economy. I want to help get America out of this economic tailspin brought on by open source software and the dot com bust. More importantly, I will no longer be an operating system zealot. I will be friendly, kind, and generous to my fellow humans, no matter which operating system they use. I am now slowly regaining my friends, and last weekend I actually got invited to a party - my first party! Perhaps this weekend I will ask a cute girl out on a date. Since I have cleaned myself up and changed my attitude, I have noticed a few girls giving me flirty looks around campus. I'm so excited about my new life!

Please, Fellow Readers of Slashdot, I implore you to look at what you have become. Although it will be long and difficult, you too can change. I have faith in that. You can start by saying this with me - "Microsoft is not evil, Linux is not good for the desktop." Repeat that every time you feel yourself slipping. Together, we can right this horrible wrong.

Thank You.

There are all kinds of discussion sites that are moving to voluntary micropayments. Slashdot is following the crowd, not taking the lead.

Official Ad-less Slashdot Relplacement Site

Well, good riddance, pal. Stay here on /. or go somewhere else, where you can mingle with own flock.

K5 is the prototype to Adequacy.org

I havn't seen a page full of such utter garbage since I last visited The Sauna of Pretentious Cockmongers. Did I mention This is boring?