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If you really need it explained to you, here is a link explaining how to learn to code.

http://programming-motherfucke...

Don't forget to read the Manifesto while you're there.

Programming, motherfucker!

Programming, motherfucker, do you speak it?

They claim to value: Responding to change

They really value: Instability and plausible deniability

We fucking do: Programming, motherfucker!

And what have they proposed as an alternative?

Work.

See also: http://programming-motherfucke...

Lowe is doing even worse than just complaining that planning knowledge work is hard: he's complaining that it is not only impossible, but that it is harmful to try. It's great for consultants if they can convince the customer that is true, because then the customer won't actually hold them responsible for time or dollar budgets, but it is essentially not true. Almost no software development is comparable to building a fusion reactor from scratch, or sending a manned spacecraft to Jupiter, and competent managers can usually recognize when a project involves that many unknowns. Lowe's blog post is essentially a prolonged admission of the first "value" of Zed A. Shaw's Programming, Motherfucker.

...Programming, Motherfucker!

You seem really obsessed with name recognition and authoritative titles.

Programming is just programming, it is a loose word and so should be used loosely. Your snobbery around it just tells me that you're probably impossible to work with; you're willing to be technically incorrect where the only thing you even get out of it is standing on the side of the pedanticism you declared superior!

See also: http://programming-motherfucke...

Eric Petitt, head up Firefox marketing, writing in a blog:

Why does Firefox need a head up marketing?

Shouldn't they just be programming motherfuckers?

Why not both? Here is a great site that teaches programming for free and also provides free philosophy lessons:

http://programming-motherfucke...

Please read the Manifesto, it could change your life!

On top of that, the whole origin of Agile goes explicitly *against* what I hear from a lot of parties claiming to convert some process to agile.

"Individuals and interactions over processes and tools"

Yeah, that's not at all a profitable thing, so now Agile advocates mandate certain specific ways and tools. The fact people even say 'The Agile Process' seems to run counter to the very first sentence that started off the whole 'movement'.

This whole evolution from reasonable call for sanity to insane consultancy industry has produced crazy stuff like http://programming-motherfucke..., which if not for the fun and offensive choice of phrasing I could imagine becoming the new consulting fad in a decade.

http://programming-motherfucke...

Mod parent up! Only person who said it better was Zed. Just Programming MotherTrucker!

obligatory

You subscribe to this methodology: http://programming-motherfucke...

You can find the rest of us HERE mate.

No, Agile focuses on each sprint ending in an output that does something -- ideally something sensible, but not necessarily something useful. If you're replacing an existing process or product, it is not useful until it becomes more functional or efficient than what it replaces, and that will probably take many sprints.

Every time I hear agilistas talk about their tenets, I am reminded of Zed A. Shaw's rebuttal to them, and how they don't have effective counter-arguments to his "what they mean" interpretations.

Repeat after Zed A. Shaw: We fucking do programming, motherfucker.

Like this?

http://programming-motherfucker.com/

thanks for posting that link.

yeah, so what's this over? one guy submits a silly pull request to change the word "him" to "them", and an argument ensues about the correct wording, and then morphs into a discussion about discrimination of women in tech. 228 comments ensue. the pull requests gets closed when someone (correctly) makes the observation that is has gotten hopelessly off topic and is a complete waste of time.

the guy that closed it was correct.

you argue about the wording comments.
we code.
PMF.
http://programming-motherfucke...

I couldn't agree more. The only thing I would add is that Zed said it best. No methodology in the world can make up for a lack of skill.

bar

Obviously the manifesto is so short on details that it can be interpreted in many ways.

Short on detail but long on words. Compare it to the Agile manifesto which has few words, but communicates the ideas very clearly. When you read that, you understand the underlying principles of agile. This manifesto has more words, but still manages to clearly get its idea across.

When it comes to the manifesto linked in the article, as you mention it is short on detail. Specifically, who doesn't want to have a responsive system? Have you ever met anyone who said, "I think I will build a website. I want it to take 15 seconds for the pages to load." Saying you want your site to be responsive is so generic as to be meaningless.

The part that really makes me laugh is the part where they say it will have no bottlenecks. That has been the goal of designers since the day of Von Neumann. He was certain he would design his computer without bottlenecks. Once again, it's something that everyone wants.

The biggest thing they have that isn't generic there is that they require message passing. That seems like a weird requirement to me, but I'm sure they have a reason.

Sounds like we need some Programming, Motherfucker!

Do you speak it?

http://programming-motherfucke...

Or instead, maybe they should have hired architects, engineers, and/or developers and not "coders" or "programmers".

No. They need more people who know how to do this.

You're doing it wrong, motherfucker

A link I found on a discussion on /. just a few days ago seems appropriate :
programming-motherfucker.com

http://programming-motherfucker.com/, do you speak it?

That's right, it's all just programming, motherfucker

http://programming-motherfucker.com/

Every time I hear that Pulp Fiction line now I think of this: http://programming-motherfucker.com/ (may be NSFW)

Having also just completed my PhD, this is hands-down the best advice in the thread for what to do in grad school. (I'm not so sure it's super important to do it all before you arrive on site though.)

One thing I can suggest as you prepare is to get your personal life together. I went through a divorce during my phd, and it definitely didn't help the process: be aware that doing a PhD can stress your personal relationships and take some time to work that out with your significant other or others you're close with, if you can. It's a time when you will be stressing hard without a whole lot to show for it, monetarily or otherwise. Build a support network with friends and family, and via counseling services at your university if necessary (my "grad student support group" helped tremendously with my own difficulties, both personally and professionally).

Oh, and since you're going into biological sciences, a great way to prepare for an awesome career is to learn programming, motherfucker. (I suggest python.) The job market is tough for life sciences in general these days, but curiously not if they can program and work the command line... ;) (And while 5 years is a long time in science, starting now will still keep you at the forefront of that skillset.)

Thanks for the meme, QT!

English, Motherfucker, do you speak it? - YouTube

Programming, Motherfucker - Do you speak it?

Design, motherfucker, do you speak it? | Design for life

JavaScript, Motherfucker, Do You Speak It!

YTMND - ELVISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT Autoplay heads up for this one.

By Programming, Motherfucker

Do you speak it?

That's awesome an' all... OTOH, I've had to maintain and re-engineer other peoples code... and mother-fuck that!

Some people should not be programming, let's not encourage them to be gung-ho about it. Most web "programmers" (specifically) couldn't engineer their way out of a paper bag. It's pathetic they're even able to pass themselves off as programmers!

Do you speak it?

http://programming-motherfucker.com/

More Programming, Motherfucker.

Programming, Motherfucker Do you speak it?

It's all just programming, mofo, do you speak it?

If you have a group of talented developers, all they really need to do is programming, motherfucker. (It helps if you read it in Samuel L. Jackson's voice.)

You know, the kind of "methodologies" that managers use to feel important and sophisticated.

http://programming-motherfucker.com/

Engineering is http://ieee.org/

Hacking is http://programming-motherfucker.com/

I don't understand the constant Slashdot slurring against MBAs. Yes, I have one. But MBA means you can't use Google now? It means you can't understand anything related to IT in any form? Why do slashdotters use MBA as an interchangeable term for "idiot"?

Because most of us are the technical type that clash with management, management with MBAs. Though unfair, you chose a degree that many here consider of low practical value. Our heroes in management are those that never even heard of "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" or "Six Sigma Lean". They got there because they were charismatic, bad-ass techies with a flair for business. And often, we believe that MBA techniques are political window dressing designed to enrich the manager at the expense of the talent. See: Programming Motherfucker, Do You Speak It?

Oh it's unfair I know. MBAs, Law, PR, and other degrees and their professions grew out of need. But you're on a site that is "News for Nerds." I'm surprised you need an answer as to why there is bias against your degree. Hell, having a degree in general is under attack and probably always will be. We venerate the self-educated genius, not the above average guy that needed someone to teach him or her the basics.

It's actually not as much of a gamble as the article makes it out to be. I couldn't say how it is outside of the games space, but if you have connections to the right distributors, and a reasonably decent business model, you can be relatively confident that you're going to make a profit.
The problem really comes with developers that don't consider things like monetization or marketing. If your entire product strategy consists of Programming, Motherfucker, then it's likely that you won't succeed because apps don't usually market themselves, and if you want to have a successful app, you need people who are focused on making money and user acquisition.

Also known as the first code then think approach

No, it's think *as* you code. You do think some before starting to code, a vague rough picture of the pieces, but you don't invest a lot of time in that 'pure' design phase because the more detailed you plan without proving it out, the more you *should* throw away as you start implementation and realize how ill-conceived your design was or that maybe your design was adequate, but a better way makes itself apparent when actually implementing. Generally when I see a development team incapable of operating at all in this manner and fail to achieve any measure of 'complete', they only 'complete' under other strategies of development on a technicality and produce low quality product. Some management people think that methodology can be used to make piss-poor (cheap) developers serviceable and avoid having to reward/retain good talent.

A lot of people wrote books on patterns (design and otherwise), but in the end if no one follows these patterns the problems remain.

I think there are two aspects to this. One is that most development an organization is predestined to operate in a specifc way depending on who comprises it, regardless of what name they pick to describe it. I know organizations that did 'waterfall' and 'changed' to 'Agile', but really just renamed things they did, acted the same, and called it 'Agile'. However, I don't know if this is a bad thing. I think getting too hung up on a specific 'pattern' others preach in conferences is bad, and organically feeling your way for a process that works for your team is better. Awareness is good, but getting locked in is bad.

However, I have found in the sea of Agile and Waterfall and all sorts of buzzwords a methodology that really resonates with me:
http://programming-motherfucker.com/

Indeed, similarly as a programmer I have to constantly refer my colleagues to the Programmers Manifesto
(Somewhat NSFW, but should be as it's sorely needed).

http://programming-motherfucker.com/

Programming, motherfucker.