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Domain: ridiculopathy.com
Stories and comments across the archive that link to ridiculopathy.com.
Comments · 596
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Anger...subsiding...blood pressure...normalIt's like that semi-friend everyone had in high school. He would piss you off constantly. But by the time you got up the nerve to tell him exactly why he's a jerk, the argument seemed weak. He was able to easily explain everything away. He walks away thinking the situation resolved. And in a way it is.
You still can't stand the things he does- you just can't talk to him about it anymore.
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It's hard to make deadlines and have cogent ideasI fail to see the connection between myths about heavy Internet users (which now includes just about everybody) and a crappy show slagging off their crappiest bits on the web.
Could it be that we are struggling to see ourselves as victims in an era when the memory of earlier successes fade?
The Katz Argument: The media seeks to perpetuate the idea that hackers/crackers are thugs- but what do they know because they are just low-level pornographers.
I'm glad to see the level of logical argument on
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Blue Ink Tags = Defective?"I'd like to make a return."
"What was wrong with it?"
"I can't rip mp3's from it and exchange it with people I don't really know for music I don't want to pay for."
"I see. That does qualify as a 'defective' disc. Do you have your receipt?"
"No. Receipts are hard to come by when shoplifting."
My question is, will Napster get a Webby?
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Best of both worlds = None of either?It does not take a pollster to tell you that users of a "free as in beer" operating system are on the whole not interested in buying new hardware every few years. We may be cheap, but we have incredibly high standards as well. These don't tend to mix well.
This is also a matter of web culture. You can get so much for free these days that we immediately suspect anything with a digital price tag on it. Reluctant consumers make for a crappy demographic when you're trying to sell ad space. If it weren't for t-shirts, the independent Internet as we know it would cease to exist.
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DMCA = Legitimization of a Corporate Police State?Let me get this straight: you can now get arrested for what would otherwise be a civil action?
If I were part of a company screwing over someone else's copyright or exploiting their crappy code, my company would be subject to a law suit. I can't imagine we'd all be hauled off in the paddy wagon. But an individual doing this can be jailed?
I'm not being sarcastic [this once]. I seriously don't get this.
But the greater evil here is clear to see. In the graphics world Adobe = Microsoft, a single company holding the reigns on all of the industry's mission-critical tools. Time to get a better text tool for GIMP and get it to the people.
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This has to be a hoaxI can't imagine this being anything other than a hoax. Charging a licensing fee for every download on the Internet? Without a means of charging that fee or a plan for it, a court would have little choice but to throw the case out.
Besides, companies have to defend patents in a timely manner to keep them. [Or at least that's the excuse some companies use for raking smaller companies over the coals] If this 80's era patent was not used against Compuserve, how can they get away with using it now?
Because the whole thing is a hoax meant to illustrate the ridiculous state of software patent law.
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Cold Fusion Infinite Improbability DriveIt could be decades before the efficiency and safety of such a means of power generation become practical.
In the meantime, why are we wasting time drilling for oil and chasing cold fusion pipe dreams when we should be pushing forward in the direction of the infinite improbability drive.
Paladium fuel is incredibly expensive and rare. But all you need for the IID is a bit of fairie cake and a cup of tea.
Wait- you're turning into a pengin. Stop it.
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Open the CD-ROM drive, HAL.I'm sure its in-house name is the ICan'tPrint-6000.
We all know what this really is: a new way to make it even harder to talk to a real person on tech support.
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What's the /. take on this story?It seems that a year ago, the article would have appeared here to show how greedy some people were; how dare they charge us for content that "wants to be free."
But today, with the content market collapsing and ad revenue dissipating, the article makes
That's the kind of irony that tickles me.
Besides, what kind of freaky porn site could get away with such a tactic?
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It's not the kind of settlment you think...Two cases in point: Dr. Dre couldn't give away coppies of Chronic 2000. Metallica, unable to get airtime on MTV any more, is on VH-1 with Sting, et al.
If it weren't for Napster, they might have to do some soul searching. Maybe people just aren't as interested in my music as they once were.
My guess is that the secret agreement is that the two artists drop their suits in exchange for a small sum of money and a promise to take the blame for their poor sales figures.
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Ah, it was fun while it lasted.Nobody believes Microsoft will (or even can) be broken up. The suit itself, with a long-dead browser war at its core and free of the stickier issuse of monopoly, was a bit of fluffy fantasy- here and gone.
If it makes you feel any better, I've put together a Microsoft retrospective for y'all:
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Ah, it was fun while it lasted.Nobody believes Microsoft will (or even can) be broken up. The suit itself, with a long-dead browser war at its core and free of the stickier issuse of monopoly, was a bit of fluffy fantasy- here and gone.
If it makes you feel any better, I've put together a Microsoft retrospective for y'all:
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Ah, it was fun while it lasted.Nobody believes Microsoft will (or even can) be broken up. The suit itself, with a long-dead browser war at its core and free of the stickier issuse of monopoly, was a bit of fluffy fantasy- here and gone.
If it makes you feel any better, I've put together a Microsoft retrospective for y'all:
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Ah, it was fun while it lasted.Nobody believes Microsoft will (or even can) be broken up. The suit itself, with a long-dead browser war at its core and free of the stickier issuse of monopoly, was a bit of fluffy fantasy- here and gone.
If it makes you feel any better, I've put together a Microsoft retrospective for y'all:
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Ah, it was fun while it lasted.Nobody believes Microsoft will (or even can) be broken up. The suit itself, with a long-dead browser war at its core and free of the stickier issuse of monopoly, was a bit of fluffy fantasy- here and gone.
If it makes you feel any better, I've put together a Microsoft retrospective for y'all:
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John Henry vs. The MachineFor years, I've been doing this at Kinkos. I built a leaf-style print of my book (The Narcoleptic Dialectic) and had Kinko's copy & perfect bind five or so at a time. Add a glossy coper with 2-sided carpet tape and voilla! You have a book-like product. Of course, it costs me $12 or so per book, so my margins are crap.
The machine seems like it would be great for circumventing the publishing industry. But remember, publishing is much more than just printing. The Baltimore Sun even serialized this book (on SunSpot) back in 1997 and still very few people found out about it.
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New Product: Microsoft Spice XPThe 9x OS is a bit of a commodity, something consumers think they cannot do without, something with only one source. Perhaps only a psychological monopoly, but real enough.
And with the growth of the industry stagnant, the Baron has ordered Raban to sqeeze all he can from Arakis, SQUEEZE!
[New slogan = "Through Windows I set my mind in motion."]
I'm less worried about what the move does for school budgets as much as what it will do to kids. "Dad, when I grow up I want to be a robber barron."
The education squeeze is nothing compared to the hurt they're putting on the suits. The new Software Assurance program may increase software operations costs for some businesses as much as 40%.
The deadline delay is supposed to make them look magnanimous: Kinder, Genter Microsoft Delays Buggery of Corporate America
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I'm an American. That's why.I expect everyone to one day pay for my content but don't hold your breath waiting for me to sign up for Salon Premium...
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I'm an American. That's why.I expect everyone to one day pay for my content but don't hold your breath waiting for me to sign up for Salon Premium...
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I'm an American. That's why.I expect everyone to one day pay for my content but don't hold your breath waiting for me to sign up for Salon Premium...
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I have this already...I have a pair of shoes that converts my sweat into a greenish goo. Does that count?
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"This is good news for Mac users"It seems that no matter what happens to Apple, folks are going to say that it's good for Mac users.
An enormous bolder could roll down and smash their Cupertino offices, destroying all their code, forcing them into bankruptcy and I would get 50 e-mails saying it was "good news for Mac users."
OSX was delayed so many times, it was almost renamed WindowsXP. But every delay was "good news for Mac users."
What's next? iMacs begin exploding on startup- but it's good news for Mac users.
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"This is good news for Mac users"It seems that no matter what happens to Apple, folks are going to say that it's good for Mac users.
An enormous bolder could roll down and smash their Cupertino offices, destroying all their code, forcing them into bankruptcy and I would get 50 e-mails saying it was "good news for Mac users."
OSX was delayed so many times, it was almost renamed WindowsXP. But every delay was "good news for Mac users."
What's next? iMacs begin exploding on startup- but it's good news for Mac users.
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"This is good news for Mac users"It seems that no matter what happens to Apple, folks are going to say that it's good for Mac users.
An enormous bolder could roll down and smash their Cupertino offices, destroying all their code, forcing them into bankruptcy and I would get 50 e-mails saying it was "good news for Mac users."
OSX was delayed so many times, it was almost renamed WindowsXP. But every delay was "good news for Mac users."
What's next? iMacs begin exploding on startup- but it's good news for Mac users.
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Would you really want a beta test model?I won't even install a 1.0 video card for fear that my computer will explode. Can you imagine what the beta testers notes would look like?
On several occasions, when I use a cell phone on my left side, I black out. This is unfortunate as I tend to use my phone when I can't get to a land line- i.e. when I'm driving. Have someone look into that.
So, it's not for me. However, Dick Cheney coud use one of these.
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Dick Cheney Sees Wizard, Recieves HeartHow long will the old man have to hold on before he can get ahold of one of these babies? A bionic heart sounds like just the thing for America's favorite bacon lover.
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Should Free Speech Be Free?Everyone seems to want anonymity for themselves and public accountability for everyone else. We want free speech with no personal cost- free speech for free.
Saying something unpopular is protected by the Constitution, death threats are not. It really isn't all that complicated from the outside.
Personally, I'd be thrilled if I got enough traffic to warrant the occasional death threat.
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Deadcom Hall of Fame?Who are some of these sites? Other posts have noticed this as well. If they were pickier about it, only choosing the most ghastly of hubris-fueled web companies, it could become quite a nice Deadcom Hall of Fame (pronounced "shame").
In twenty years, I'll tell my daughter all about people pouring all of their cash into pets.com and she won't believe me. How long until the world forgets about boo.com? We need a place to wander the halls and say "remember them? I was so glad when they went under."
Of course, it's the semi-pro non-profit sites that will survive this collapse with cockroach-like aplomb.
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Join the virtual army...
See the world. Meet interesting people.
And frag them. -
Sucked: A Fish, a Barrel, and a Rubber CheckHere's another article on this subject.
You may find it interesting: Sucked: A Fish, a Barrel, and a Rubber Check.
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Earth Day becomes "We Shouldn't Even BE Here Day"The very existence of humans on this planet is an abomination. What arrogance that we continue to choose to exist! Why cannot we come to the logical, rational conclusion that it would be much better for our planet for us to all simply vanish into the ether?
[I think this way because I believe everything I read.]
As Gas-Guzzling, Anti-Kyoto Americans, we should know this best. Ever since we handed those typhoid blankets to the land's original occupants, we have cut a swath of pollution and evil human influence across the continent.
Right now the ugliest ugly American is defending his oil-friendly policies to the more enlightened leaders of the EU. I bet they're making fun of him using words he doesn't understand. Ha.
Everyone tells me that human beings are bad for the environment, and why should I doubt them? If it weren't for us hunting the dodo to extinction, we would still be able to see that funny little bird hopping around in its non-adaptive fashion. I remember someone in a lab coat telling me that all of Nature is connected in a beautiul and delicate network. Even the macroscopic shifts in climate over the eons is probably caused by human under-arm odor or something. And since the guy was wearing a lab coat, I recommend we listen.
So, why can't we all just vanish and make the Earth pure again?
NOTICE: We will begin distributing the "magic pudding" at noon.
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Earth Day becomes "We Shouldn't Even BE Here Day"The very existence of humans on this planet is an abomination. What arrogance that we continue to choose to exist! Why cannot we come to the logical, rational conclusion that it would be much better for our planet for us to all simply vanish into the ether?
[I think this way because I believe everything I read.]
As Gas-Guzzling, Anti-Kyoto Americans, we should know this best. Ever since we handed those typhoid blankets to the land's original occupants, we have cut a swath of pollution and evil human influence across the continent.
Right now the ugliest ugly American is defending his oil-friendly policies to the more enlightened leaders of the EU. I bet they're making fun of him using words he doesn't understand. Ha.
Everyone tells me that human beings are bad for the environment, and why should I doubt them? If it weren't for us hunting the dodo to extinction, we would still be able to see that funny little bird hopping around in its non-adaptive fashion. I remember someone in a lab coat telling me that all of Nature is connected in a beautiul and delicate network. Even the macroscopic shifts in climate over the eons is probably caused by human under-arm odor or something. And since the guy was wearing a lab coat, I recommend we listen.
So, why can't we all just vanish and make the Earth pure again?
NOTICE: We will begin distributing the "magic pudding" at noon.
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All For The Love of Tree MeatWhen my first novel, The Narcoleptic Dialactic was serialized on The Baltimore Sun's web site, I was sure that my hunt for a publisher would soon be over. After a nearly 200 ding letters, I realized this was not to be. Back in 1996, the industry was much more interested in new books about cats than some unvetted bit of web fiction.
After spending years selling Kinko's-generated copies of the book on Amzon, I decided to post the book for free on my web site- hoping that I might do better selling t-shirts with the logo on them than the books themselves.
Clearly, the publishing game is changing in a way the industry itself does not understand and cannot control. With the increasing popularity of digital books, donation-supported web content, and fan fiction, publishing is becoming faster, more responsive, and much more exciting (and perhaps confusing) for consumers.
I can only hope this means fewer books about cats in the best sellers lists.
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All For The Love of Tree MeatWhen my first novel, The Narcoleptic Dialactic was serialized on The Baltimore Sun's web site, I was sure that my hunt for a publisher would soon be over. After a nearly 200 ding letters, I realized this was not to be. Back in 1996, the industry was much more interested in new books about cats than some unvetted bit of web fiction.
After spending years selling Kinko's-generated copies of the book on Amzon, I decided to post the book for free on my web site- hoping that I might do better selling t-shirts with the logo on them than the books themselves.
Clearly, the publishing game is changing in a way the industry itself does not understand and cannot control. With the increasing popularity of digital books, donation-supported web content, and fan fiction, publishing is becoming faster, more responsive, and much more exciting (and perhaps confusing) for consumers.
I can only hope this means fewer books about cats in the best sellers lists.
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Chemical Manufacturer Patents "Snake Oil"A patent application for an oily substance harvested from snakes with the possible [but not legally definite] ability to cure ambiguous and undiagnosed illnesses has been filed with the United Sates Patent Office.
In spite of the fact that they make no claims that the oil is useful or necessary, they do claim patent rights on it and expect renumeration on all products pertaining to said patent.
The application appears to be valid and on its way to approval. That's fine with us as long as they stay away from our Zero Click Ordering patent.
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Do they stream the patches, too?How could they do this with games that are shipped broken like Black & White and Myst Exiled?
I've rented scratched Playstation titles before. But I can't imagine renting a PC game that has as many inherent problems that many recent games do.
Of course this would be great for some games for which there can be no "demo" version. I usually realize the game I just bought was a lemon about an hour after removing the shrink-wrap.
After paying $50 for B/W I didn't even have the will to get to world 4 to discover the problem. I hated myself that much for buying it.
Renting PC titles may mean more talk of violent videogames causing murders- like the recent "fragfest" in Nepal.
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A fish, a barrel, a gun, and a rubber checkWhile I will always miss Polly Esther, it's probably all for the best. Like that marble you swallowed at the age of eight, all things in this life must pass, however painfully.
It's time the bury the bug-eyed fish in the back yard and give that gun to some fire-arm buy-back program. The barrel, however, is stylish and we can make a wicked-cool chair out of it.
There are, of course, several satire sites that can't go out of business because they never made any money in the first place.
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CNET: Score 0 FlamebaitSo, that computer for which only a handful of applications run natively actually tested better? I'm beside myself with disbelief.
Next you're probably going to tell me that the whole thing is quasi-journalism designed to execute $hitcount++.
You should be more careful, CNET. I believe everyting I'm told.
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"All your cookies are belong to us"So
In other news: "Do Nothing" Congress Becomes "Highly Ineffectual" Congress
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Microsoft Version of ThirdVoice = OneVoiceHere are some other products Microsoft has in the pipeline based on the ThirdVoice software model:
- Microsoft Re-education 2.0
- Microsoft Cultural Revolution Professional Edition
- MS Ministry of Information Server
- Microsoft (We Have) Access (To You)
- MS Home Lobbyist 2001
Boy I'm glad everyone says the browser war is over. Clearly, the better company won.
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Clive Barker's "Microsoft Undying"I saw this in a movie once. You have to put the stake all the way through his heart. Otherwise, the guy shows up five minutes later uglier and more blood-lusty than ever.
The DOJ lawyers start congratulating one another as they leave the crypt. Suddenly, the cold pale hand of the "undying one" grips one on the shoulder. Never confuse Jobe's Tree Spikes with the wooden dracula killing kind.
In other news: Napal Ragecide Blamed on "Cl4n W4rz"
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The Tech Company Life Cycle
1. Start-up -> Overnight Success
Start telling everyone that the old economy is dead and that you're the only one with any new ideas. When your stock options mature, put your hand over your winnings and tell the dealer, "let it ride, my man!"2. Failure of the Core Business
Your competition has eaten your lunch. Those bridged you burned in step 1 are starting to look like mistakes. Maybe your mom was right, giving stuff away is no excuse for a business plan.3. Bring in the Cavalry
If your customers abandoned you, perhaps the federal government will be more sympathetic. It may take years to reach any kind of legal satisfaction, but hey, at least history will remember you better this way.4. Become an Internet Portal
During your hard road to financial catastrophe, you may not have garnered much cash, but you have earned a commodity far more important in today's economy: name identification. Parlay your fame into portal success until the money runs out completely. This is also a great way to lay off large numbers of employees quietly- in the same way that letting the air out of a balloon slowly makes less noise than a pop.I think I know the next big dot-com to go under.
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The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Afterlife"New" Douglas Adams material? It all sounds kind of creepy, as though the work were being transmitted vie psychic medium:
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What about amnesty for Satirewire?
I remember a time (not too long ago) when segfault, satirwire, the onion, and suck all made me laugh until I peed myself.
Did I change or did they?
I make no excuses for the worst of these sites which, I admit, has always sucked in its own charming way.
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Photoshop for the TRS-80Sure, it's a little hard to see what you're doing (what with the 128x48 screen on the Model I). But 6.0 rocks! I have to save all of my multi-layered graphics onto audio cassettes, which can be a bit of a pain. It's at least faster than that paper tape drive that came with it.
Gotta go. I've got to make some hard copies with my snazzy thermal-transfer printer.
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Morimoto vs. Flay II - Is Don King involved?During the pre-show publicity tour, Flay couldn't stop talking trash:
Flay: "I am the greatest chef of all time."
Morimoto: "I am confident that I will win."
Flay: "I am pretty, and I can't be beaten."
Morimoto: "What? What does that even mean?"At that point the two world-renoun chefs had to be physically separated to keep them from cooking one-another.
In other news: McVeigh's lawyers find John Doe, II.
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Web Ad Product PlacementIt seems that ad revenue plummits even as web usage rises. What to do? At some of the sites I work with, we've been slowly introducing "sneaky" advertising like product placement.
Here's a sample of what your average 'blog will look like by the end of the Summer:
8/20/01:
Just sitting here at my new Dell Dimension sipping a Jolt and I began to wonder about the future of the Internet. I mean, my Comcast @ Home service is wicked-fast. But what's next? I want to be able to stream the new LOTR trailer and snag the demo for Half-Life 2 without a long download.I can't imagine sites pimping misleading links. But it could happen.
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Tux to appear in his very own Anime
Tux will spend half a season as a character on the ever-popular Pokemon before spinning off into his own show. Special Powers: Stability, Scalability.
As Ash shouts out "I chose you, Tux," the tiny penguin grows to the size of a house and attacks his opponent with the grace of a ballet dancer.
The promotional poster for the show features the penguin chomping down on some sushi with the caption, "I always did like raw fish."
In other news Greorge Comes to Play at Gray's House
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The New FeudalismA relatively impressionable public wants what they are told to want. And so we have millions of people working unsatisfying jobs just to "get by" [read: Cable, Playstation, etc.].
We wage serfs know this well. Pay the same corporations for whom you work for the lifestyle stuff, and you're in the same mess as miners in the 1920's- working harder and keeping less. With mega mergers everywhere, the world itself is becoming a company town.
But does the problem lie in corporate behavior or our own willingness to buy the lifestyle they sell?
[That's an honest question, folks- not a rhetorical one]
(
In other news: Jerry Bruckheimer's Next Epic)
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According to VH-1's Behind The Music...The "pain killers" for "back pain" always end up being just a doorway to heroin. At least, that's the way they tell it.
But worry not, according to Behind The Music, 9 times out of 10 this crippling addiction starts right before the rock star in question becomes blindingly famous.
So, good luck.