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According to an interesting write-up on the game, the player must search out a mythical prize, something called a "patch." Once the player completes their quest for the "patch," the game inside the computer can finally begin. According to the reviewer, the CDs themselves are completely worthless until this initial part of the game is completed.

This "patch" has been promised to many users on many occasions- only to have the release date slip once again. This only adds to the overwhelming aura of intrigue and mysticism surrounding the game.

After playing the computer part of the game for a few hours, you may discover that on reboot the Windows system is completely corrupted. Bonus! Reinstalling windows and all your applications is all part of the adventure that is Myst III: Exile.

There's more.

Here are some warning signs that you may have a SETI hoax on your hands:

• a midi file of the
• Close Encounters tones.
• A .gif of Leonard Nemoy as Spock with the caption "Live long and ... whatever."
• The astral baby from 2001 rendered in ASCII graphics.
• "Hello, people of earth" in a voice that sounds suspiciously like Homer Simpson.
• Anything resembling "Goatse.cx"

In other news: Bi Curious: The Senator Jim Jeffords Story

Oh, I almost forgot about all that hot, sticky porn we were all talking about... ;)

Unpopular former Attorney General Jenet Reno is talking about Running for Florida Governor soley on the platform of "protecting children." When asked questions about actual governance, each answer includes the phrase "protecting children."

How long before your site gets blanked by manditory censorware?

Actually, I already did.

But as it is, we have already paid you far too much attention.

Good day.

You can choose the stealthy quickness of a Mara Liasson or the heavy-weapon "bad-assedness" of Karl Cassel.

And, yes, the NPR vs. PRI team fortress mod rocks!

Personally, I never got a chance to get rooked by UGO

Put any well-meaning group of people in charge and it can only result in muddled, inconsistent governance.

Of course, it all won't matter very soon. The Internet goes dead as California loses power this summer.

• All employees must sign up for the American West series of books from the Time/Life library (only $19.99 per month- cancel any time)
• Employees are "strongly encouraged" not to troll the MSN message boards posing as teenage girls- but use AOL in future.
• All employees are required to watch the WB prime time line-up. A Dawson's Creek quiz will be distributed during break the following business day.
• All news about the corporation will come to employees via CNN. Anything you see on Dateline is a lie.

This is almost as ridiculous as what some people plan to do about California's Impending Energy Craptasm.

On another topic: are ISS crew members addicted to Black and White?

Which corporation owns them now?

How about a Napster story with real facts and figures?

A bit of a misfit, few people took his early papers on the subject seriously. In fact, the idea of fully-grounded, horizontally-formatted scientific study has yet to gain acceptance.

Dr. Hans Neulhammer's bio can be found HERE.

Froget Mercator projection, download Peters Projection Quake today!

Can you imagine a world where near-earth-orbit travel becomes almost banal?

The least popular Jackson brother may have wasted that 20 million after all.

Also, when I said "hire" I didn't mean "pay." If we had money, we wouldn't need Napster.

Some may say this is intellectually bankrupt. But like most Americans, Of the six hundred posts on /., I'm only going to remember the one person who agreed with me. So, why not streamline the process?

If you find some hot-shot pro-Napster speaker, Let me know.

It's a lifestyle thing, I guess. I sit in front of my station all day with access to my schedule and contact databases. When I do travel, I find that the $4 cup of coffee at the local Net Cafe is cheaper than wireless net access would be.

I discovered recently that I've been forcing myself to use my Palm, wasting time with grafiti just to take temporary notes.

But I'm pretty sure that if I were just a little bit cooler or more important, the Palm thing would work for me. I just know it.

On a related note: PalmIII for sale. Cheap.

Let Microsoft take you away from all that. With our new RemoteRoot feature for IIS on Windows2000, users can log in as root from remote sites without all the muckety muck.

Forgot your password? No problem. RemoteRoot makes getting in easy.

Microsoft has partnered with the company responsible for Zero Click technology to bring you this wonderful new feature. You can read more about it on their web site.

Let Microsoft take you away from all that. With our new RemoteRoot feature for IIS on Windows2000, users can log in as root from remote sites without all the muckety muck.

Forgot your password? No problem. RemoteRoot makes getting in easy.

Microsoft has partnered with the company responsible for Zero Click technology to bring you this wonderful new feature. You can read more about it on their web site.

Use PHP to generate an .rtf file with the pagebreak tags therein. Specs are available on-line. On your browser, use the link save-as feature to save the file as an .rtf and open it in WP or some other word processor. Score! I finally found a question I could answer!

But the real reason is to get your meat hooks into them, to make it hard for them to fire you or allow you to move on. My solution: all the software we use has manuals written only in Mandarin Chinese and a few in an ancient Incan language of pictograms.

Another way is to use archane security systems that may not be the most effective at keeping out crackers, but work wonders at scaring the crap out of upper management.

Custom software mods. Sure, the head office invested millions in SAP, but they can't get anything to work without your data merging widget, written in an odd flavor of Fortran.

Bwahaha! You have them by the shorties now, my boy!

Perhaps I'm still stuck in the paper age (somewhere between bronze & silicon), but I find myself spending $50 a pop for progamming books I only skim through. If I need reference material, I hit PHP.net (for my PHP projects).

Am I missing something?

Wearing it will result in a series of cease & dissist notices- how's that for clothing making you feel important. For my case, I have other means of getting sued.

[It has been reported that ZeroClick partner Martha's Dildo Vineyard has been responsible for several domestic disturbances due to unexpected adult-oriented deliveries. We at ZeroClick sincerely apologize for that.]

I know that /. is very anti-patent these days. But I swear we only patented ZeroClick technology to keep someone else from patenting it. Can you imagine what someone else might do with this incredible technology?

Sure, we've entered into licensing agreement with several e-mail marketing firms. [Just be careful- clicking "delete message" may actually obligate you to buy something].

To find out more about ZeroClick and our very affordable license plan, click HERE.

[It has been reported that ZeroClick partner Martha's Dildo Vineyard has been responsible for several domestic disturbances due to unexpected adult-oriented deliveries. We at ZeroClick sincerely apologize for that.]

I know that /. is very anti-patent these days. But I swear we only patented ZeroClick technology to keep someone else from patenting it. Can you imagine what someone else might do with this incredible technology?

Sure, we've entered into licensing agreement with several e-mail marketing firms. [Just be careful- clicking "delete message" may actually obligate you to buy something].

To find out more about ZeroClick and our very affordable license plan, click HERE.

[It has been reported that ZeroClick partner Martha's Dildo Vineyard has been responsible for several domestic disturbances due to unexpected adult-oriented deliveries. We at ZeroClick sincerely apologize for that.]

I know that /. is very anti-patent these days. But I swear we only patented ZeroClick technology to keep someone else from patenting it. Can you imagine what someone else might do with this incredible technology?

Sure, we've entered into licensing agreement with several e-mail marketing firms. [Just be careful- clicking "delete message" may actually obligate you to buy something].

To find out more about ZeroClick and our very affordable license plan, click HERE.

[It has been reported that ZeroClick partner Martha's Dildo Vineyard has been responsible for several domestic disturbances due to unexpected adult-oriented deliveries. We at ZeroClick sincerely apologize for that.]

I know that /. is very anti-patent these days. But I swear we only patented ZeroClick technology to keep someone else from patenting it. Can you imagine what someone else might do with this incredible technology?

Sure, we've entered into licensing agreement with several e-mail marketing firms. [Just be careful- clicking "delete message" may actually obligate you to buy something].

To find out more about ZeroClick and our very affordable license plan, click HERE.

[It has been reported that ZeroClick partner Martha's Dildo Vineyard has been responsible for several domestic disturbances due to unexpected adult-oriented deliveries. We at ZeroClick sincerely apologize for that.]

I know that /. is very anti-patent these days. But I swear we only patented ZeroClick technology to keep someone else from patenting it. Can you imagine what someone else might do with this incredible technology?

Sure, we've entered into licensing agreement with several e-mail marketing firms. [Just be careful- clicking "delete message" may actually obligate you to buy something].

To find out more about ZeroClick and our very affordable license plan, click HERE.

[It has been reported that ZeroClick partner Martha's Dildo Vineyard has been responsible for several domestic disturbances due to unexpected adult-oriented deliveries. We at ZeroClick sincerely apologize for that.]

I know that /. is very anti-patent these days. But I swear we only patented ZeroClick technology to keep someone else from patenting it. Can you imagine what someone else might do with this incredible technology?

Sure, we've entered into licensing agreement with several e-mail marketing firms. [Just be careful- clicking "delete message" may actually obligate you to buy something].

To find out more about ZeroClick and our very affordable license plan, click HERE.

[It has been reported that ZeroClick partner Martha's Dildo Vineyard has been responsible for several domestic disturbances due to unexpected adult-oriented deliveries. We at ZeroClick sincerely apologize for that.]

I know that /. is very anti-patent these days. But I swear we only patented ZeroClick technology to keep someone else from patenting it. Can you imagine what someone else might do with this incredible technology?

Sure, we've entered into licensing agreement with several e-mail marketing firms. [Just be careful- clicking "delete message" may actually obligate you to buy something].

To find out more about ZeroClick and our very affordable license plan, click HERE.

Teachers (and their wonderful unions) claim that they aren't paid enough to be good at what they do- the old "pay me more and I'll do good-er." But people who work 3/4 of the year and get paid 3/4 or more than a comporable job don't have much to complain about.

[Here's where we get fatalistic]

Schools will always stink because parents as a whole do not get involved, teachers and administrators are too busy feeling sorry for themselves to do their jobs effectively, and the media is too concerned with promoting the myth that schools are drug-frenzied shooting galleries.

These are the crappy schools we get because they are the crappy schools we deserve.

Whew! Thank God I'm on the right side of that one. As lowly peons, we lose out on so much else. Don't deny me the right to gloat over this one thing. For once I'm on the winning team. Yeah Western culture! Hurray for the English language, however bastardized and dumbed-down.

Sure, the media oligarchy can bring you Punky Brewster in sixteen languages.

But it's better in my language and everyone knows it.

If you want to learns to be a l337 h4xx0r, you need to get with the new DOS 4tt4ckz, root k1tz, etz. What's so wrong with planning to h4xx0rz a nuc-u-lar submarine to revenge-ify your gym teacher? I say it's good to have a goal.

To learns more about l337 h4xx04 things, clickz here.

If you want to get ahold of the best worm-writing software ever, click here.

I saw it here.

It's almost like shucking that same old Yahoo-porn post again and saying "I don't watch much porn."

"Here's a bit from howto.com about where to hide the bodies - but I don't kill people much."

"I caught this Linux article from the NAMBLA newsletter. I don't know how it came to my house..."

So, which is it?

Or, on the other hand, it might be that there is a serious problem with the X-Box design requiring a rethink. Perhaps the green cylon light does not work. Gasp.

Or (and this is my personal theory) there really is no X-Box. There never was. It was all vaporware to compete with Nintendo and SONY's offerings, given an arbitrary product launch timeline to place it between the two products. From what I've seen on the gaming sites, the X-Box is just a screen-shot generating device invented by Microsoft's PR department.

Based on our conversation of yesterday.

Here's the full story.

Hey, wait. "Bottom line" sounds like a line out of a porno. He he he.

[That's right. You want some of that?]

Yahoo co-founder Jerry "Do I make you randy?" Yang is very excited about Yahoo's new sexing-up process. "I want us to be the Napster of porn," he allegedly said. "We're the Yahoo you don't take home to mother."

Co-founder David "Big Stick" Filo could not be reached for comment. His assistant said that he was in the storage room shooting a training film of some kind.

The new on-hold music is pretty cool, though. Lots of bass.

Bucka-bucka-bow!

Hey, wait. "Bottom line" sounds like a line out of a porno. He he he.

[That's right. You want some of that?]

Yahoo co-founder Jerry "Do I make you randy?" Yang is very excited about Yahoo's new sexing-up process. "I want us to be the Napster of porn," he allegedly said. "We're the Yahoo you don't take home to mother."

Co-founder David "Big Stick" Filo could not be reached for comment. His assistant said that he was in the storage room shooting a training film of some kind.

The new on-hold music is pretty cool, though. Lots of bass.

Bucka-bucka-bow!

And I swear every word of this is true.

Touchy, touchy.

Here's some advice: never give a link pimp an even break

I remember when one of our submarines ripped a Japanese fishing boat in two. That was pretty ugly.

Then there was the recent incident involving two helicopters colliding with one another- and that aircraft that cut the support cabling on that gondola in Italy a few years back.

Of course, who can forget the recent collision between one of our spy planes and a small Chinese fighter jet? Ouch.

As an instructor at Ace Driving School, I can say with authority that our men and women in uniform need to learn to drive. Companies like mine can make a huge difference in the number of accidents and monthly insurance premiums. Hey, look at what we did for the fine people at Exxon.

I remember when one of our submarines ripped a Japanese fishing boat in two. That was pretty ugly.

Then there was the recent incident involving two helicopters colliding with one another- and that aircraft that cut the support cabling on that gondola in Italy a few years back.

Of course, who can forget the recent collision between one of our spy planes and a small Chinese fighter jet? Ouch.

As an instructor at Ace Driving School, I can say with authority that our men and women in uniform need to learn to drive. Companies like mine can make a huge difference in the number of accidents and monthly insurance premiums. Hey, look at what we did for the fine people at Exxon.

I remember when one of our submarines ripped a Japanese fishing boat in two. That was pretty ugly.

Then there was the recent incident involving two helicopters colliding with one another- and that aircraft that cut the support cabling on that gondola in Italy a few years back.

Of course, who can forget the recent collision between one of our spy planes and a small Chinese fighter jet? Ouch.

As an instructor at Ace Driving School, I can say with authority that our men and women in uniform need to learn to drive. Companies like mine can make a huge difference in the number of accidents and monthly insurance premiums. Hey, look at what we did for the fine people at Exxon.

But k5 is more (and less) than Slashdot's snot-nosed kid brother.

The "reality" of the situation is this: tiresome hacks will always claim that they have a leadership role or some kind celebrity within a given online community. Katz seems to have made a go of it- convincing the outside media that ./ readers are interested in what he has to spew- er, say. It shouldn't be surprising that other tiresome hacks are lining up in the on-deck circle.

Besides, I should know - I'm a tiresome hack as well.

Similar scenario: My wife's finishing up the laundry and I ask "is there anything I can do to help?" Of couse not and she knows it.

Does Jackson actually expect Bush to ask for his help? Of course not. But offering (or demanding) to help is a much better PR choice than letting the media continue to rip your reputation assunder.

Some cynical observers have wondered aloud whether Jackson is merely trying to repair his reputation and make another run for the coveted Father of the Year Award.

ridiculopathy.com

Similar scenario: My wife's finishing up the laundry and I ask "is there anything I can do to help?" Of couse not and she knows it.

Does Jackson actually expect Bush to ask for his help? Of course not. But offering (or demanding) to help is a much better PR choice than letting the media continue to rip your reputation assunder.

Some cynical observers have wondered aloud whether Jackson is merely trying to repair his reputation and make another run for the coveted Father of the Year Award.

ridiculopathy.com

Similar scenario: My wife's finishing up the laundry and I ask "is there anything I can do to help?" Of couse not and she knows it.

Does Jackson actually expect Bush to ask for his help? Of course not. But offering (or demanding) to help is a much better PR choice than letting the media continue to rip your reputation assunder.

Some cynical observers have wondered aloud whether Jackson is merely trying to repair his reputation and make another run for the coveted Father of the Year Award.

ridiculopathy.com

Dude, Where's My Spy Plane?

Sometimes The Hardest Word is "Sorry"

Enjoy.

Dude, Where's My Spy Plane?

Sometimes The Hardest Word is "Sorry"

Enjoy.