LINDON, UTAH- In a webcast on Tuesday, representatives from SCO Group [aka Caldera Systems] expressed sincere thanks to the tireless core of Linux developers who have, for more than a decade, so generously donated their efforts to advance the usefulness of their intellectual property.
"Guys, we can't say enough how much we really appreciate how much you've done with our patented product," said CEO Darl McBride. "You've really taken our little server OS to the next level. Thanks guys, really. You'll all be getting 'letters of appreciation' very soon."
Sure enough, a few days later several thousand hard core Linux developers and users opened their snail mail to find official-looking invitations to a party at a California Federal courthouse.
"8:30am - ?" read the invite. The "?," explained McBride, stands for crazy fun.
As the current owners of the original Bell Labs Unix code and trademarks, SCO ceased Unix development years ago in favor of a more efficient business model: full-time litigation.
"When we gave up on it, Linux was just a third-rate toy server with no applications or commercial services. Look at it today: professional grade server software and a quickly maturing desktop environment, a real crown jewel in our IP stable. We really have to take our red hats off to those guys. Get it? Red Hat. Ell Oh Ell."
Slashdot was all a' buzz on Tuesday with speculation about what specifically SCO would do to thank them. A few hours later, though, a leaked memo resolved the issue. The company plans to say thanks by giving the Linux community an opportunity to pay huge royalties and, in some cases, give up rights to their work.
"Linux users, our users, are just about the most gracious people on the planet," said McBride. "We can't help but love them."
On Monday Microsoft decided to license the Unix name and technology from SCO, not because they actually needed it but, as CEO Steve Ballmer put it, "mostly as a corporate high-five for a job well done."
Linux developers were naturally surprised to hear that portions of the supposedly open [free as in speech, free as in beer] operating system actually belong to someone. As it turns out, when bits of SCO's OpenServer Shared Libraries somehow ended up in the kernel source code, Linux became the property of SCO/Caldera.
SCO executives say there is no reason to worry, though. "Open" Source software is in no danger.
Some were confused by the statement, arguing that the quotes around the word "Open" had not always been there. SCO's legal team, however, insists that they have.
In a related story, McBride recently settled a land dispute with the owner of his former home. After abandoning the place in the early 1990's he reportedly moved back in last month while the current owner was on vacation. Happily for McBride, the two bedroom ranch was now a three bedroom split-level with a pool.
"I simply love what you've done to the place," McBride said through his attorney. "Now get the hell out."
Over the next few months, SCO/Caldera plan to collaborate with other organizations like the RIAA and the Girl Scouts to create new and innovative licensing schemes. Look for details on FreshMeat very soon.
In the meantime, Linux users are lining up to buy back software they helped develop.
"It kinda sucks that Linux is proprietary now," wrote Slashdot poster AnonymousCoward. "But I'm glad they appreciate all our hard work. They seem like really nice guys." (Score: -1 Insightful)
Some Linux fans have expressed interest in switching to BSD or another free Unix derivative. Others, however may opt to dump their decade-long dot matrix printer emulation project in favor of more time spent in a place developers like to call "outside" conversing with strange, fleshy avatars known as "people."
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA- Inspired by the blockbuster series of movies from the 1970's & 80's, aspiring filmmaker George Lucas has added his own project to the growing array of Star Wars fan films. While its production values far outpace other fan films, it bears all the hallmarks of garage cinema.
To prove that imitation is indeed the sincerest form of blatant copyright violation, Lucas premiered his "film" at this week's Orange County Star Wars convention. Lucas' mother, in whose basement he has lived for the last twelve years, is reportedly proud of her son's accomplishment. However, she also felt the love story between Padmé and Anakin was forced and poorly written.
Like most fan-generated "films," George's project was not a film at all. Lucas admits that he shot everything on digital video, about one quarter the image density of standard 35mm film. While he maintains that the choice was an artistic one, the issue of cost is undeniable.
During the screening, many patrons complained of the blurry look of the film print. A defensive Lucas reminded them that it looked much better on his computer monitor.
"If you look at color retention and light response, it would have looked much better on film," offered local film buff Wes Antilles. "I would have let him borrow my Super16 camera. He's too proud to ask, I guess."
The film suffers other ills common to fan films. Even the B-movie title, Attack of the Clones, is a dead giveaway of its amateur origin.
While some critics say that story elements take a back seat to flashy special effects, it would be difficult to argue that Lucas underwrote the film. The first two thirds of the film consist of nothing but mouths moving, gums flapping.
"I've seen this kind of thing ruin otherwise promising films," says UCLA film professor Leonard Calrissian. "Independent films often turn out too 'talky' because amateur directors are often too in love with their script to cut unnecessary or forced dialogue."
The most common complaint so far is that the film is not very much fun to watch. One walks away from Attack of the Clones wondering for whom it was made. Like most independent/amateur cinema, it is likely that the movie exists mostly for its own sake.
"I've got lots of other friends who do this kind of thing," said one local independent filmmaker. "Every time I run into them, they demand that I watch their latest project. It's getting to the point where I'm avoiding people. I haven't talked to George for over a year."
Unable to pay real actors and having run out of available friends, Lucas had to create many of the characters digitally. In spite of their obvious unreality, these digimuppets do a great deal to mask the awful acting and terrible direction common to such efforts.
There is no word yet whether the owners of the Star Wars trademark and franchise will do with Mr. Lucas. Clearly Attack of the Clones violates more than a dozen heavily-guarded copyrights while creating unsanctioned and [according to some] inconsistent backstory for established Star Wars characters.
In spite of its problems, most audience members agreed that Attack of the Clones was one of the best five fan films they had seen this year. Some even went so far as to compare it with the much-loved The Lego Strikes Back from 1996. Not bad for a first effort.
Inspired by the slightly-warmer-than-luke response to Attack of the Clones, Lucas announced plans to begin work on a sequel- as soon as he can come up with a better title.
Aces! Another "family values" organization strikes out against the evils of American films- especially successful ones. Will AOTC continue the alleged tradition of man/boy love?
A study out today by the American Center for Media Research raises allegations that blockbuster filmmaker George Lucas has embedded pedophilic themes in his work. Center director and study author Dr. Phillip Mipokitz says that the viewing public should watch these films knowing in advance that subliminal themes of man-boy love will be played out.
Dr. Mipokitz wanted to stress that neither he nor his organization condemn Mr. Lucas for his alleged beliefs or alleged feelings. They would just like him to be more open about it, something akin to truth in advertising.
The study, originally intended to survey a wide variety of films from the last three decades, eventually focuses solely on the work of George Lucas, specifically his Star Wars series.
Mipokitz recently unveiled a warning label that he feels should accompany each Star Wars film. "WARNING: This film contains underlying themes of underage homosexual sex- not that we're judging or anything. We just wanted you to know." Dr. Mipokitz says that he believes the warning label arms parents with information without causing a scare, a good compromise.
The original 1977 Star Wars film established many of the homoerotic traditions Lucas would take with him for decades. A pair of walking vibrators seek out a young boy with no chest hair. Two old men fight over the young boy with swords that suddenly grow then glow. The boy joins the rebellion and flies an uncircumcised spacecraft for them.
The trench battle at the end of Star Wars: A new Hope was of particular concern. "Everything happens back to front," said Dr. Mipokitz. "Did you ever notice that? No two ships shoot at each other face to face. They are always so intent on shoving a laser blast up someone else's backside."
"And then there's the point where Darth Vader has Luke in his sights. 'The boy is mine,' he says. Lucas could have written any number of clever catch phrases for that moment. But 'the boy is mine' is what he chose. How gay is that? I mean, I'm not trying to paint the man as a pervert or anything."
At the end of the trench sequence, Mipokitz notes that Luke makes a rather telling gesture as he "shoots his wad" into the Death Star's tiny orifice. "He lets out a long-held breath- very masturbatory," says Mipokitz.
Ha ha! That was funny. You are so funny, I wonder why you're not running your own site and why you're posting anonymously.
That was so funny. You said that guy's site was "shitty." Seriously, I'd love to read anything you've written. If it's anywhere near as witty as your post, it would have to be brilliant.
Re:Superman Gets Fired
on
More WTC News
·
· Score: 1
I thought it was pretty funny. The longer story has bits that explain it better, frame the theme of it better, I think. Maybe he should have posted the whole thing, I don't know.
To those of you who didn't get it or (as I suspect) choose to act offended in a ridiculous attempt to feel better about yourselves in the face of a tragedy like this, well, I feel sorry for you. I really do.
Dude. Having a bit of fun with an award committee that snubbed Doug Adams for being too light 20 years ago and now sees fit to reward something just as light seems less serious than you make it out to be. Aren't we mocking and destroying the original poster more than he (or she) ever intended to mock or destroy Harry P?
btw: I appreciate that your response was more mature than mine. I apologize.
That's a pretty hefty response to a joke you obviously didn't get. From a purely clinical point of view, you seem to have some time on your hands and more than your share of bitterness and disapointment in your life. Choose one: a) mid-thirties failure in progress covered in Cheetos powder b) teenage failure in progress covered in Cheetos powder.
We feel your pain.
Flashback 2 years...
Reality Master 101: Mommy, they're making fun of me on Slashdot again. [sounds of soft wimpering]
Reality Master's Mom: Well, why don't you go try to finish writing your book and forget about it?
Reality Master 101: Every time I do, I start masturbating. It's terrible.
Reality Master's Mom: Well, you always were a ridiculous fucktard.
Re:New Zelda = Dragon's Lair?
on
The New Zelda
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· Score: 1
I don't think any of you get it. Cartoon Zelda compared to Don Bluth Dragon's Lair games... it's a joke.
He put in too much detail and people lost the point.
Re:9+:1 Compressed HD - yummy
on
HDTV Over IP
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· Score: 1
You have not seen uncompressed HD side by side with highly compressed 1080i. You are either lying or a ridiculous fucktard.
Well, which is it?
Re:HDTV is dead. Long live HDTV
on
The Joys of HDTV
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· Score: 1
You sound like somebody who just bought himself an HD set- or somebody who thinks he is "in the industry" but really just works part-time at Best Buy.
HD decoder boxes are not like Tivo boxes "except higher resolution." Just wave that magic wand over the mess and call it HD, eh? Oh, people like you are wonderful- I bet you have a metric tonne of unsupported 'lectronics in your basement. Smart man.
Again. You have never actually seen HD over the air. I can't believe that you have. Otherwise you would never have said that. DSS/Digicable look like crap. Digital TV over the air is a bucket of ass. Crank that up by 6x and you have the mother of all fiascos.
People in general use Office as a default. Because the upgrade path causes thousands of offices to upgrade with no other motive than to keep in lock step with customers and suppliers, Microsoft has most of us by the shorties.
And most of you think that this is a bad thing.
What would you do if you walked into a room and everyone started handing you cash? Their hands are in the air and the bank vault has been opened. It's not so much robbery as just playing along.
Stick them (read: us) for everything they (read: we) have! It's the American way!
Many people want more candidates. People also seem to want simpler ballots. So, which is it? You can't have 5+ presidential candidates without confusing some people. And you can't defend a two party oligarchy simply because some people made voting errors.
I heard this on SNL: "Some people think that on-line voting would solve the re-count problems. Yeah, old people love the Internet. My grandfather is affraid of his answering machine."
More importantly, if you can't trust a machine-counted vote, do you trust a hand-counted one? If so, how would an SQL query make general citizens feel any better. Dan Rather says, "Omnibot5000 says that the winner is Voltron!" Florida voters would still demand an SQLdump printout and hand-counted rows.
Slashdot Mirror
Right now I'm running old hardware [photoshop open, etc.] and it's running fine.
I would wonder what the hell is wrong with you, but from your post I get a very clear idea.
Did you really mean to say "applets?" Did you really mean to insinuate the smoothness in Flash is purely code dependent?
ell oh ell.
Sure, not all the facts are right, but that never held back Fox News or The New York Times. Enjoy.
Taken shamelessly from http://www.ridiculopathy.com/news_detail.php?id=8
http://www.ridiculopathy.com/games/adv/sa/
To prove that imitation is indeed the sincerest form of blatant copyright violation, Lucas premiered his "film" at this week's Orange County Star Wars convention. Lucas' mother, in whose basement he has lived for the last twelve years, is reportedly proud of her son's accomplishment. However, she also felt the love story between Padmé and Anakin was forced and poorly written.
Like most fan-generated "films," George's project was not a film at all. Lucas admits that he shot everything on digital video, about one quarter the image density of standard 35mm film. While he maintains that the choice was an artistic one, the issue of cost is undeniable.
During the screening, many patrons complained of the blurry look of the film print. A defensive Lucas reminded them that it looked much better on his computer monitor.
"If you look at color retention and light response, it would have looked much better on film," offered local film buff Wes Antilles. "I would have let him borrow my Super16 camera. He's too proud to ask, I guess."
The film suffers other ills common to fan films. Even the B-movie title, Attack of the Clones, is a dead giveaway of its amateur origin.
While some critics say that story elements take a back seat to flashy special effects, it would be difficult to argue that Lucas underwrote the film. The first two thirds of the film consist of nothing but mouths moving, gums flapping.
"I've seen this kind of thing ruin otherwise promising films," says UCLA film professor Leonard Calrissian. "Independent films often turn out too 'talky' because amateur directors are often too in love with their script to cut unnecessary or forced dialogue."
The most common complaint so far is that the film is not very much fun to watch. One walks away from Attack of the Clones wondering for whom it was made. Like most independent/amateur cinema, it is likely that the movie exists mostly for its own sake.
"I've got lots of other friends who do this kind of thing," said one local independent filmmaker. "Every time I run into them, they demand that I watch their latest project. It's getting to the point where I'm avoiding people. I haven't talked to George for over a year."
Unable to pay real actors and having run out of available friends, Lucas had to create many of the characters digitally. In spite of their obvious unreality, these digimuppets do a great deal to mask the awful acting and terrible direction common to such efforts.
There is no word yet whether the owners of the Star Wars trademark and franchise will do with Mr. Lucas. Clearly Attack of the Clones violates more than a dozen heavily-guarded copyrights while creating unsanctioned and [according to some] inconsistent backstory for established Star Wars characters.
In spite of its problems, most audience members agreed that Attack of the Clones was one of the best five fan films they had seen this year. Some even went so far as to compare it with the much-loved The Lego Strikes Back from 1996. Not bad for a first effort.
Inspired by the slightly-warmer-than-luke response to Attack of the Clones, Lucas announced plans to begin work on a sequel- as soon as he can come up with a better title.
[from ridiculopathy.com]
Full story: New Study Alleges Star Wars Pedophilia
Submitted for your approval, an Onion-like story on the subject:
Honey I Melted The iMac
The picture of the iMac with a lamp shade on it is worth the click.
That was so funny. You said that guy's site was "shitty." Seriously, I'd love to read anything you've written. If it's anywhere near as witty as your post, it would have to be brilliant.
To those of you who didn't get it or (as I suspect) choose to act offended in a ridiculous attempt to feel better about yourselves in the face of a tragedy like this, well, I feel sorry for you. I really do.
destroy."
Dude. Having a bit of fun with an award committee that snubbed Doug Adams for being too light 20 years ago and now sees fit to reward something just as light seems less serious than you make it out to be. Aren't we mocking and destroying the original poster more than he (or she) ever intended to mock or destroy Harry P?
btw: I appreciate that your response was more mature than mine. I apologize.
We feel your pain.
Flashback 2 years...
Reality Master 101: Mommy, they're making fun of me on Slashdot again. [sounds of soft wimpering]
Reality Master's Mom: Well, why don't you go try to finish writing your book and forget about it?
Reality Master 101: Every time I do, I start masturbating. It's terrible.
Reality Master's Mom: Well, you always were a ridiculous fucktard.
He put in too much detail and people lost the point.
You also post anonymously which makes you look like a mod or at least a defensive little fucktard who doesn't know the difference.
[flashback to 20 years ago - or this morning]
"Mommy, they keep making fun of me."
"Honey, just say 'that is not funny' and they will go away."
"'That is not funny.' Like that?"
"Yes, that's fine. Now we'll change your underwear and send you back to school."
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=01/08/15/13172 04&op=Reply&threshold=0&commentsort=0&mode=thread& pid=25
ah! I see. Kthxbye.
A -1 for offtopic? Wow. Somebody's got some issues. You can bury the post, but you can't bury the truth!
Huzzah!
Does anyone else see the crushing irony here?
Ce nes pas justice
Well, which is it?
HD decoder boxes are not like Tivo boxes "except higher resolution." Just wave that magic wand over the mess and call it HD, eh? Oh, people like you are wonderful- I bet you have a metric tonne of unsupported 'lectronics in your basement. Smart man.
Again. You have never actually seen HD over the air. I can't believe that you have. Otherwise you would never have said that. DSS/Digicable look like crap. Digital TV over the air is a bucket of ass. Crank that up by 6x and you have the mother of all fiascos.
Have fun with your "big plate of crap."
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Afterlife
And who is "we?" Are you representing the ./ community or the various entities that reside in your alleged mind?
bwahahaha... rancor and divisiveness generate hits!
And most of you think that this is a bad thing.
What would you do if you walked into a room and everyone started handing you cash? Their hands are in the air and the bank vault has been opened. It's not so much robbery as just playing along.
Stick them (read: us) for everything they (read: we) have! It's the American way!
ridiculopathy.com
Ming for president!
I heard this on SNL: "Some people think that on-line voting would solve the re-count problems. Yeah, old people love the Internet. My grandfather is affraid of his answering machine."
More importantly, if you can't trust a machine-counted vote, do you trust a hand-counted one? If so, how would an SQL query make general citizens feel any better. Dan Rather says, "Omnibot5000 says that the winner is Voltron!" Florida voters would still demand an SQLdump printout and hand-counted rows.
ridiculopathy.com