Slashdot Mirror

Don't know about Nietzsche, but Kafka would be an unending series of ambiguously located header imports and incomprehensible macros. If the user didn't follow every arbitrary, subtle rule of the application, they would be greeted with an authoritarian error message:

You vil get vat you vant if you PROPERLY FOLLOW PROPER PROTOCOLS. PROPERLY FOLLOW PROPER PROTOCOLS!
[source of this quote]

It sure makes sense for Ford to give cars to those who will write positively about their brand, like prolific writer and Fiesta fan Jim Anchower. And it wouldn't hurt to have searches for Ford pictures to return something less tacky.

It sure makes sense for Ford to give cars to those who will write positively about their brand, like prolific writer and Fiesta fan Jim Anchower. And it wouldn't hurt to have searches for Ford pictures to return something less tacky.

Note you'll never see a scamming CEO or embezzling CFO in jail with murderers, rapists, and kidnappers. They have a separate prison for them.

That's not what I read...

And I think The Onion said it all.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/hot_new_video_game_consists/

Already here, bro. Did you not see the news of the sequel to WoW?

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/warcraft_sequel_lets_gamers_play

Fuck everything, give me the 5MP!

Agreed. He's just like Jackie Harvey at The Onion.

... they couldn't blow up their economy. So now they'll sink it into the Pacific.

Still not everyone agrees, see here

WoWoW

It was funnier when the Onion did Sousaphone Hero.

I much prefer Sousaphone Hero myself. Leaves me a little breathless though, but I'm sure it's a good warm-up for whatever MS is pushing here.

It looks a lot better than that previous fiasco, Sousaphone Hero.

Are people going to be able to access Skype? How loud will they be allowed to talk before I am allowed to garotte them with my $4 headphones?

The In-Flight Cell-Phone Ban

The FCC is currently reviewing its ban on the use of cell phones during flights, but many passengers say they like the restriction. What do you think?

"If they lift the ban on cell-phone use, they better lift the ban on passengers beating the shit out of each other, too."

The French are supposed to be speaking English too. It was forced upon them by a presidential mandate.

"HOLY FUCK WE GOTTA GO TO THE MOON!",

Oblig.

http://store.theonion.com/holy-shit-man-walks-on-fucking-moon-1969-p-332.html

taking nuanced stances on topics you're not sure about is not going to get you a job on TV

There are almost no complex programs with a good GUI in Linux (programs like photoshop, paint shop pro, 3ds max, ms office 2007, ...), because GTK doesn't support doing floating and dockable toolbars or multiple open files in a good way.

Leaving aside most of the other applications, but MS Office 2007?!?! Good GUI?!?! Sure, pretty. Also, pretty useless. It reminds me of the MacBook Wheel. "EVERYTHING is just a few hundred clicks away."
Then there's the other features. I love how Excel has a new extension for spreadsheets with macros. Of course, since the default in Windows is to hide extensions, the only clue you have as a user is the tiny icon with a slight difference.

All those shades of "next-gen" grey really do have a benefit! And here I thought developers were just being lazy with the color palette. I'm sorry developers! Keep on preparing us for the upcoming apocalypse

Right, but they are patented. :)

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/historic_blockbuster_store_offers?utm_source=a-section

Actually it is and probably should be. As usual, The Onion makes a valid point:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nations_blacks_creeped_out_by_all

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28308

It's little-known that Bush also found some critical errors in Fermilab calculations.

Oh but seriously, Jimmy Carter's background as a nuclear physicist and engineer became somewhat useful during the Three Mile Island nuclear reactor partial-meltdown.

On April 1, President Jimmy Carter arrived at Three Mile Island to inspect the plant. Carter, a trained nuclear engineer, had helped dismantle a damaged Canadian nuclear reactor while serving in the U.S. Navy.

That Onion story also reminded me of this SNL sketch from 1986 or so. Some jokes are eternal...

W

It's little-known that Bush also found some critical errors in Fermilab calculations.

It is done to create frustration and a strong determination to find ways of making our lives work with this new technology so that we don't notice that we don't actually need it.

Only slightly off topic...

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of

in other news: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/study_multiple_stab_wounds_may_be

Flying cars...

We all know that Evolution and Gravity are just theories and there's no concrete evidence that they exist. Okay? We also need to teach "Intelligent Downward Pull".
 
  Already done

...and not just dicking around

New automobiles, even cheap ones, are an order of magnitude better than what we had in the 70/80's in terms of handling and safety.

And you've lost many Slashdotters. At least the smug, vocal minority that must tell you at every opportunity that they don't value athletic competition. (Obligatory)

Is it fraud, or an April Fool's Day joke? In my opinion, this is an inappropriate story for Slashdot: 1) It may be an advertisement that seems to try to take advantage of the weaknesses of sound enthusiasts. 2) It is more appropriate for Onion, "America's Finest [Not] News Source". Even Onion doesn't often do as much leg-pulling as that story. 3) To have a good reputation it is necessary that publications always disclose if they have taken money. 4) April Fool's Day is 2 weeks away.

For fuck's sake, even the frigging Onion predicted this

What I love about Boosh is his facial expression. It says "I can't believe you suckers are letting me get away with this shit. Shame on you!"

Well, it's true that the government only cares about the bigger fish in the sea here, but that's actually due to the nature of democracy, or our republic--the more "pull" or influence you have, the more you get shit done, and big businesses inherently get more influence.

Businesses getting more influence is not democracy. That is a slide towards corporate government, commonly known as Fascism.

Don't take this as support for one-man-one-vote, though. Then politicians cater not to the so-called "elite", but the middle of the bell curve.

No, politicians do cater to the elite. The media is used to get those in the "middle of the bell curve" to vote for who the elite want. Why do you think Bush's popularity took so long to wane? All the information you needed to know how horrible his presidency was going to be was available before he even campaigned. Lots of people predicted that everything would get this bad under a Bush presidency. For fuck's sake, even the frigging Onion predicted this.

of the spoof named Apple Wheel...

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/apple_introduces_revolutionary

Apple needs to realize when they have reached the pinnacle of usability and keep trying to find a peak which may not exist nor even be needed

I appreciate Apple trying to get rid of too many control interfaces. For the most part I am behind them all the way.

However, the one button to control this thing is rediculous. On a shuffle I often end up jumping forward or backwords through a fair amount of songs to find something I am in the mood for. On this one you double click to go forward, triple click(?!) to go back. Fastworward/rewind? double click and hold, triple click and hold (but only if you are more than 6 seconds into the track, or the triple click restarts the track). Say the name of the song? Click once and hold for 1 second. NOT FOR LONGER, if you hold longer, then you go to playlist selection!

This is not a step forward. Apple's approach to a simple design before made them accessible to nondorks. Grandmother friendly. My grandmother would need a cheat sheet to operate this. It honest reminds me of The Onion's coverage of The Wheel.

Not to mention they tend to be awesome at handling the metric system:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28768

Luck for me I'm getting the MacBook Wheel

Keyboardless? Try this... http://www.theonion.com/content/video/apple_introduces_revolutionary

The Onion doesn't even have to write new material to cover this: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27577

Not sure if it was habit or just because of this guy.

NASA delays shuttle out of sheer habit

Wine and cigar aficionados have certain standards they use, but it is only within that circle they are true standards. Outside that circle they are irrelevant. Saying one has to be 'educated' to appreciate it is also elitist.

Yeah, all they have to do is read this magazine.

It was the inevitable upgrade from the keyboard-free Mac that they released ;). http://www.theonion.com/content/video/apple_introduces_revolutionary

Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film

No keyboard... maybe it's a touchscreen version of this.

Yes, because trailers are always the best source for determining a film's success. In fact, why bother releasing the movie, since its success is assured?

Yeah, they made that mistake with Iron Man.