Slashdot Mirror

Mr. Mabe is no longer with us...

Tom Mabe has filled several CDs with his "Revenge on the Telemarketers".

The comedian was Tom Mabe, the album was A Wake Up Call for Telemarketers

Only place with samples I've found were on Rhapsody. Scroll down to the "Hotel Calls". They're not as funny as some of his other stuff where he just outright leads a telemarketer on, but they're funny in the sense of, you can tell the guys are tired as hell and they're getting a taste of their own medicine.

Here's a press release from before the album was made: http://www.reversespins.com/telemarketing.html

The comedian was Tom Mabe, the album was A Wake Up Call for Telemarketers

Only place with samples I've found were on Rhapsody. Scroll down to the "Hotel Calls". They're not as funny as some of his other stuff where he just outright leads a telemarketer on, but they're funny in the sense of, you can tell the guys are tired as hell and they're getting a taste of their own medicine.

Here's a press release from before the album was made: http://www.reversespins.com/telemarketing.html

Argh! Stupid mistake. The links are:

Tom Mabe
greepeace
DNC
SASE

Apologies.

"You can not hang up on the customer. They must hang up."

Sounds like Tom Mabe http://www.tommabe.com/
He has a couple cds of pranking telemarketers. I know he has one call about a rug cleaning company and him asking about getting blood out of the carpet.

It sounds like a somewhat exaggerated version of something Tom Mabe did here: here

It sounds like a somewhat exaggerated version of something Tom Mabe did here: here

I love it! Publishing their number is better revenge than the Tom Mabe comedy tapes.

Tom Mabe: Revenge on the Telemarketers

The link above leads to MP3 and RA samples from the album.

One is particularly good:

"...$29.95 special on carpet cleaning..."

"Oh my God! I can't believe- I can't believe you called! Look, can you guys get blood out of the carpet?"

"Uh, well..."

"I got blood all over the place, man. Oh God!"

"Uh, well, ah, ya, sure..."

"I mean I got it on the drapes, I got it, I got it on the couch, I got it all over... Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God..."

Tom Mabe: Revenge on the Telemarketers

The link above leads to MP3 and RA samples from the album.

One is particularly good:

"...$29.95 special on carpet cleaning..."

"Oh my God! I can't believe- I can't believe you called! Look, can you guys get blood out of the carpet?"

"Uh, well..."

"I got blood all over the place, man. Oh God!"

"Uh, well, ah, ya, sure..."

"I mean I got it on the drapes, I got it, I got it on the couch, I got it all over... Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God..."

Have you tried Tom Mabe??
http://www.tommabe.com/

This dude is freaking funny!

If you'd like some inspiration at this, you can try listening to a real pro. My favorite is still his call from the carpet cleaners, closely followed by the "cemetery salesman" routine.

There are lots of guerilla tactics to hurt telemarketers where it counts. Time is money to them, as the CNN article rightly points out. So waste their time as much as possible; every minute probably stops them from bothering maybe 10 more people.

Express great interest in their product and make them explain all the options in detail. Pretending you are hard of hearing or your phone's out of whack helps in this regard.

Bring them to the point of taking your credit card number, then go looking for the card. About every 30 seconds, tell them you are still looking--was it in my purse? No, on my desk? No, darn it where did I put it? Maybe I can find an old statement and just read you the number? The telemarketer is by this time salivating for the sale and will put up with this for quite a long time.

Pretend you have just ordered a competing product with superior features, and force them to defend their product. They surely have a script for this, but if you keep making up more features you will eventually wear them out and make them put their supervisor on the line. Whenever this happens, you should insist on talking to the original telemarketer, since supervisors have more power to terminate a conversation.

There are all the usual tactics that have been covered on /. and other forums ad nauseum (see Jim Florentine's website, Tom Mabe's website, and AntiTelemarketer.com. You can act mentally retarted, or cough uncontrollably, or chew loudly during a dinner hour call, or mix intelligent statements with meaningless babble to throw them off the script.

Have fun!

Some guy is making a living off of doing just that -- Tom Mabe - Revenge on the Telemarketers

Tom Mabe has one of the most innovative methods for getting rid of Telemarkers.
He not only pranked them (pretending to a carpet cleaner that he needed a lot of blood out of a carpet, money paid in cash and to keep his mouth shut, telling people that he was interested in cheap international rates but that he did not own a phone and the best one begging a telemarketer to bring him over some beer cause this braclet on his ankel wouldn't let him out of the house until next month) he also made the whole record of them into a cd and made money out of them.

A guy who was working from home got so aggravated by the endless telemarketing calls that interrupted him, he started messing with the telemarketers for sport. He wound up recording his calls and turned them into a CD called Revenge on the Telemarketers.

I heard some excerpts on morning radio when the guy was plugging his CD. The parts I heard were damn funny. Of course, I never got around to actually ordering his CD.

Love that episode...
Also on the humor front, check out Tom Mabe. He pranks telemarketers that call him - it's hilarious.

Why not take it one step further and make a career of it, like this guy did?

As a side note, I was complaining to my aunt who worked for the post office about all the junk snail mail, and she laughed and told me how important it was. Junk snail mail pays for the US Post Office. Bulk mailings are what keep it afloat. When I thought about it, I realized that only a tiny percentage of my mail was anything I had intentionally wanted. I have three magazine subscriptions, and get 4-5 different bills per month, , and occassional cards at Christmas and my birthday (so not that much) yet I get lots of mail almost everyday. In the end it is an inefficient system, but it is worthwhile noting that it does keep this system in existence, and it is far more preferable to me than telemarketers!

All the spamming and privacy issues just make it apparent to me that the US Postal service should take some sort of active role involved with email. It would be nice if it your email privacy was protected by federal law, and so forth.

For anyone who hates telemarketers, and I think that includes everyone, including telemarketers, but most especially people who work at home, I would direct your attento to the Tom Mabe site which features the very funny Tom Mabe, who deals with telemarketers in a unique and hilarious way. You can even buy CD recordings of his interactions.

Tom Mabe, a self-employed family man, found out that telemarketers call often, especially when you're home all day. He's an extremely funny man without resorting to vulgarities, sex jokes or direct insulting of people.

http://www.tommabe.com/ is his website. He has a CD out of some of his exploits of telemarketers who call him, available for sale from his site.

What's more, there are a few samples of his works. This, I feel, is the best way to combat telemarketers. Asking them to remove you from their lists often ends you up with having to write a letter or taking weeks to do. Instead, make yourself such an asshole that NO ONE wants to call you.

Also, if you don't buy anything or subscribe to anything from a telemarketer, or ask for any products or freebies, you tend not to get added to what's known as the "sucker" list. This list is sold exclusively as a list of people who have purchased things through telemarketing calls. This is why the moment you sign up for anything or buy anything from someone calling you, you immediately get more calls.

Enjoy!
Dragon Magic