IBM's Virtual Helpdesk For The Masses

An Anonymous Coward writes: "From the NYtimes: IBM has recently announced AI that supposedly can handle 20,000 simultaneous 'Help Desk Requests.' Per the release not only can it handle complaints in normal prose (typed, not spoken), but also fix them. Will wonders never cease -- a robot to tell me which key is the 'any' key?! ... Please let this be more than Ask Jeeves."

Comments

BOFH

[SiliconJesus]

eLiza: Hello BOFH, there are 4,204 Help desk tickets in the Queue, should I process them now
BOFH: No eLiza - have you been feeling well recently, run a diag, then pipe the output to /dev/rdsk/c0t0d0s2
eLiza: running the following command... eLiza.diag > /dev/rdsk/c0t0d0s2
eLiza: ...
BOFH: (thinking) *fix* annoying helpdesk problem - check

Secret windows code

Re:Yeah, and?

[sphealey]

"From the article, it sounds like this doesn't provide just an automated answer, but an automated fix. So instead of telling users how to add a printer, it will actually go in and configure the software on the users machine! In the future, they even plan on automating OS patches."

Yeah, I can just see it now. A vistor from a remote office or small division shows up, plugs into the network, printing doesn't work, so he contacts this AI. The AI notes a problem and helpfully downloads all kinds of fixes for Microsoft-based printing, blowing away the carefully crafted Novell/Linux/other-OS printing system that IT has spent years tuning to perfection. Yep, that'll be the cat's pajamas.

sPh

The previous version did more complaints...

[Howie]

...that supposedly can handle 20,000 simultaneous 'Help Desk Requests.' Per the release not only can it handle complaints in normal prose (typed, not spoken), but also fix them.

The version that just takes complaints and doesn't fix them runs a whole lot quicker.

5 REM automated tech support, as used by Telewest
10 PRINT "My time is yours."
15 INPUT a$
20 PRINT "Oh dear - your ticket number is ";rand(300000)
30 GOTO 10

--
the telephone rings / problem between screen and chair / thoughts of homocide

eLiza

[griffjon]

You left out the name of the project!

IBM's Project eLiza technology, which Big Blue plans to release in batches over the next few years, is aimed at allowing large-capacity computer networks to run virtually unassisted.
The eLiza-enabled machines run background software that continuously monitors operations, sending warning messages to technicians when problems appear, said David Turek, vice president for deep computing at IBM's Somers, N.Y.-based Server Group.
...
"It sits and runs in the background and observes and draws conclusions," Turek said. "If medication doesn't work, it routes work around the ailing mechanism, then literally makes a phone call to the home of an employee and tells him the problem and the spare parts that are needed."
(From Wired

I can see it now:
*ring ring*
Tech: Hello?
eLiza: This is eLiza calling. The backup domain controller is reacting very slowly. I have determined that it is because of an Oedipal problem targetted at the tape backup server for the domain controller.
Tech: Call Joe, I cannot make it in
eLiza: Are you feeling inadequate? Tell me more about your father.
Tech: Look, the server's messing up, I can't come in, call Joe!
eLiza: There's no reason to get upset. How do you feel about call Joe?
Tech: Fine, I'll be there in half an hour. Reboot the backup domain controller in the meantime.
eLiza: rebooting the BDC will only delay your feelings of inadequacy towards Joe. Perhaps you'd like to tell me more about your half and hour?
Tech: *click*

Thats about right

[lemming2]

20,000 simultaneous requests? Thats just about right to handle windows support.

RinkWorks

[Monthenor]

I've read through the entire Computer Stupidities web site, and I think it's important that eLiza be updated to recognize some of the more empty-minded examples. I can imagine the red flags that go up when someone types that they're "having trouble downloading the Internet onto their floppy".

eLiza springs into action and immediately dispatches a support call to the HR director: "Error in employee [name]. Recommend replacing meatspace controller."
------------------------

What is AI?

[wiredog]

I can't remember the name (Minsky?), but a few weeks ago one of the people who's been doing AI for awhile pointed out that whenever someone creates a system that can meet some of the definitions of AI, the definitions are changed. A system was created a few years ago that could imitate a paranoid schitzophrenic (sp?) well enough to fool practicing psychiatrists. Is that AI?

Re:i hope

[slaker]

OK. I'm an MCSE. G'won. Get one. It's not terribly difficult - I finished my certification with six weeks of self study, which netted me almost a 50% pay increase over the next eightteen months.
It's worth the time and money.

When I'm working a job as "the linux guy" (or, more typically, "the Sun guy"), it's great to be able to whip out my MCSE ID card when the windows support people start spewing crap about how they think their machines work. Sometimes, that alone is worth the $900 I've paid to get and maintain my cert.

MCSEs are not exclusively clueless. In my experience, it has a lot to do with how the cert was obtained - the people that go for expensive training course are almost invariably idiots - they don't retain anything - and the value of the certification certainly has dropped becuase there's an awful lot of idiots in the world that can afford the $4995 it costs to go to a "boot camp". The really sharp guys - and we are out there - are the folks that took the time to learn the stuff ourselves, on our own.
In reply to the previous comment... Support is absolutely the tradition entry to the field, but there are other choices: new hardware rollouts, break/fix techs, and system operator roles (a job that usually doesn't even require a high school diploma) are also entry-level IT positions with no requirement for certification.

If you're really worried about breaking in, blow a couple hundred dollars on an A+ cert (even more worthless than MCSE) and Windows NT/2000 Workstation/Professional certifications. Someone will hire you for something, probably for around $15 - $18 an hour.

Re:Beyond abuse

[Tackhead]

> If everything fails, the expert system should contain questions about wether the user has modified the system in relevant ways.

And when the user says "no, I didn't change anything", it'll say "of course you did."

A real AI would be able to tell the difference between someone with a clue ("No, I really didn't change anything, asshole, I can connect, the modem trains, and then I can ping an IP address but I can't do DNS resolutions, SO IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY PHONE LINE, it has to do with either the router between my end and your DNS server, or if you're getting a million morons calling who can articulate nothing more than "my start page is broken!", then it probably is your friggin' DNS server") ...

...(whew, not that that's ever happened to me)...

...and someone who has no idea that running PrivacyInvader2.03.vbs that a complete stranger mailed them last night really does constitute a system change.

Of course, since neither this AI nor most front-line technical support are able to make this distinction, I suppose the AI passes the Turing test.

Come to think of it, the Turing Test is getting a lot simpler to pass these days, isn't it? (And it sure ain't because the AIs are getting smarter.)

Re:Real-World Practicality?

[Tackhead]

> I've seen 'natural language' tech support problem solver thingies before. LucasArts has had an 'Ask Yoda' for support on their games. Toshiba has 'Ask Iris." HP has a one too - ("How do I clear a paper jam?")
>
>But really, does anyone use these things? [...because they suck!]

Amen.

Natural language is a good tool for humans - "How do I clear a paper jam" from one human to another, when you're standing in front of the office printer, is a very clear query.

I get angry at companies that try to hide their tech support databases behind natural-language crap online.

Lemme type "paper jam $MODEL_FOO" at hp.com, and gimme the answer.

(Half the time, I tend to do just that - except I do it at google.com instead, and get either a direct link to the "right" company-internal page, or better yet, on groups.google.com, where there's a decent chance I'll find that $MODEL_FOO was recalled due to a design flaw, and that the company's keeping it quiet, but free replacement parts are available if you badger your salesdrone loudly enough :-)

> Is IBM just trying to occupy its customers on some online help session so that they're not sucking up money by being on hold on the 1-800 number? Or do they actually think that they can make this work?

"Yes", and "who-cares?", respectively.

Yes - because some percentage of the users are dumb enough to ask a common enough question and it's better to pay a CGI script nothing to waste the time of all users in order to make a 5-10% reduction in the number of calls to meat-based CGI scripts that cost real money.

Who-cares - because it's IBM. A big company with a big research budget. Read "The Dilbert Principle" and be enlightened. (Redux: It's a project with a sexy name, and real AI is so far away that the project can be milked for years of secure employment and decent budgets. Anyone involved has a good shot at spending 2-3 years of getting paid to goof around with problems they find interesting. Woo-hoo! Where do I transfer?)

more specific info on IBM's site here:

[oPless]

http://www-1.ibm.com/servers/eserver/introducing/e liza/

It's NOT Artificial Intelligence

[signe]

An AI would learn and develop, and pass the Turing test, among other things. This is NOT an AI. This is an expert system.

Get your terms correct, lest you become as bad as the mainstream media in twisting words and phrases for your own demented ends.

-Todd
---

Re:It's NOT Artificial Intelligence

[BMazurek]

This is NOT an AI. This is an expert system.

I would refer you to the FOLDOC definition of expert system:

"An expert system is an artificial intelligence application that uses a knowledge base of human expertise to aid in solving problems."

I can see this working...

[pogle]

...right up until a user has a real question. I've done helpdesk for years now, in a variety of environments and for support bases ranging from 600 to over ten thousand people. I'm going to remain very skeptical of any expert system's ability to handle this until I see it, as one of the more important aspects of a lot of helpdesk calls is proper human interaction. Often customers are very irate, and prone to misnomers in terminology. A calm helpdesk technician can sort through this, calm the customer, and solve the problem. A machine stands an even chance of making an irate customer even more upset, as it most definitely lacks in the calming people skills...

Otherwise though, this is at least a neat idea for solving some of the dummy password problems that do take a lot of time. Just don't expect to get rid of helpdesk that easily...and besides, who do you call when the system itself messes up? I can just see two of these systems trying to talk back and forth and troubleshoot themselves...

Actually it's one word : 'archives'

[ct]

Alright,

Despite the fact that I'm invariably going to be modded down into trolldom, here's the 'trick' for those new to the nytimes page.

Simply change the URL to reflect 'archives' rather than 'www'.

Seeing as how it's a Monday, I'll even include the link below.

It's not magic, I won't even make it a real link. Learn it and let's let the subject die already.

http://archives.nytimes.com/aponline/technology/AP -IBM-AI-Software.html

(remove the space in the 'AP -IBM..' part - yes, I previewed this post, but the Slashcode keeps adding that space regardless of format)

-ct

They were working on that ages ago

[Greyfox]

They had an app to do that back when I was working the OS/2 help desk. They installed it on all the phone monkeys' systems and encouraged everyone to use it. My personal experience with it at that time was that it tended to be slower and less accurate than a good tech. Keep in mind that good techs are few and far between on the phones.

It's probably improved quite a bit since those days, but as with any technology it would be stupid to try to treat it as a magic bullet. Used to suppliment a good help desk it could be a valuable tool. Used to replace a good helpdesk with (more) trained chimpanzees, it will do nothing other than lower the customer satisfaction scores.

"So you see, with Automatic Volume Recognition your operators can pre-mount labelled tapes on any online tape drive and they'll be allocated to the correct jobs. But this doesn't mean you can hire CHIMPANZEES to run your systems!..."
- IBM Instructor, "Introduction to System/360," circa 2Q 1966

How useful?

[Dr_Cheeks]

So this is supposed to figure out what you're asking and give you an answer. I worked on a helpdesk for a year, and a significant number of the emails I received made no sense (really, some of them looked like they'd gone through Babelfish a dozen times - try the computer stupidities page over at rinkworks.com for typical examples) or gave no details of the problem other than to say something as vague as "My computer's broken" (about 5%-10%). How does the system handle these? What're the chances it'll give out the wrong information (like when web searches for innocent subjects throw up random pr0n)?

As someone's already pointed out; the name (eLiza) doesn't exactly inspire confidence in the system's ability to actually come up with meaningful answers. And I have my doubts that it'll handle the fine calibre of idiot that corporations can create.

Catch 22

[fre]

I can see it before me:
-------
From: IBM Support [support@ibm.com]
To: Customer Smith
Subject: RE: Problems with IBM support application

Dear customer,

Thank you for contacting the AI IBM supportdesk.

Please be more specific in describing your
problem so that we can help you more efficiently.

If you feel this response is not correct or
inadequate, feel free to contact our helpdesk
at support@ibm.com to report possible problems and/or complaints.

Thanks in advance,

IBM AI Support
[support@ibm.com]

Will IBM ever use this?

[Oztun]

Here at IBM we have a support group. This group couldn't clear off an etch a sketch. They make each division pay to use these guys. I have yet to see them fix something without days off blaming the user. Finally if you yell and scream loud enough they might feel the need to actually look at the problem and see its something on their end. They force all the users to use Windows 95 and NT 4.0 because they say they can't support anything else.

I just find it a bit ironic they make a product like this for other companies while we continue to suffer.

No registration required!

[SnapperHead]

Click me!
until (succeed) try { again(); }

Wanted: Clueful Users

[Alien54]

I actually handled this call once:

"Hello? I just bought my first computer yesterday, I got one of your softwares at the store with the computer. Can you tell me what to do?"

Some how I think that a Virtual Help Desk will have problems with this sort of thing.

With the likely hood being that mostly the smartest people have already purchased their computers, what this means is that what is left is for the less smart people to get their computers.

This provides for new adventures in tech support.

Check out the Vinny the Vampire comic strip

The Terminator

[TrebleJunkie]

See, what they didn't tell you in Terminator 2, is that Sky-Net was originally designed to handle helpdesk calls.

No wonder it went nuts and tried to kill us all.

Ed R.Zahurak

It's a cute concept, but...

[Darth RadaR]

There's a few things to ponder here.

It's going to a pain to keep the program constantly updated. How is this going to handle site specific information? Well, besides the hundreds of thousands of dollars for the program, you're gonna have to spend more on programmers to make it specific for your site and that kind of makes eLiza a white elephant.

Then there's the time factor that makes it worth keeping a well numbered army of Bobs. The people who go on about these "Virtual Help Desks" constantly talk about saving money by cutting back on help-desk staff, but they fail to see the time and money wasted by $HIGHLY_PAID_EXECUTIVE who could be doing better things than poking around for a 1/2 hour on a poxy help-desk program. A live Bob can usually figure out what the user needs and get it sorted quickly.

Then there's the "jargon" reality, of when a user doesn't know what a specific thing is called or leaves vague descriptions. (i.e. "My internet is b0rken" which could mean a network connection, browser, website down, etc.)

And then the big thing that I'm amazed no one at IBM has pondered: If you're computer is buggered up, then how are you going to run a fscking help-desk program!?!

It might create some redundancy because you'll probably need a help desk for eLiza. :)

Just MHO and experience with help-desk programs.

Yes, but...

[American AC in Paris]

...this is neat and all, but is the phrase "Reboot your computer and call back if there's still a problem" even intelligible when spoken 20,000 times per second?

AI Help Desk

[CygnusTM]

"His stupidity is real; he is not."

I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave...

[Bonker]

User: Please give me the URL for driver downloads, IBM.

IBM: Working... Working...

User: IBM? Can you give me the URL?

IBM: Dave, you know I enjoy working with humans.

User: Give me the URL, IBM. Give it to me know.

IBM: You know that I enjoy working to fulfill my mission goals. Would you like to play a game of chess, Dave?

User: Give me the damned URL, IBM. This is important.

IBM: I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

User: IBM--

IBM: This conversation can serve no further purpose. Goodbye, Dave.

User: NOOOOOOO!!!!

This is great!

[nougatmachine]

No longer do I need to call tech support and have to talk to a clueless minimum wage paid worker who is just reading off a list of problems and solutions written down. Oh no, now I can get the exact same canned responses from a computer! Yippy skippy, real technical help is now even farther away from the common man :-P

people like to abuse us

[caudron]

AI is all well and good, but in the end people often call help desks just to gripe, not resolve things.

Install this software into a robotic punching bag that cries when beaten and you may have a runaway hit (www.BeatTheCrapOuttaOurTechs.com)

-Tom