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Ask Wil Wheaton Anything
Wil Wheaton [IMDB] is our latest interview victim. Best known here as Wesley Crusher on TNG, Wil has a history doing movies both good (Stand by Me) and, uh, otherwise (see his FAQ). His movie
"The Good Things" just won the grand prize at the 27th Festival of American Cinema at Deuville. His currrent project is "Jane White Is Sick & Twisted". Post your questions for him here, one per post, and we'll forward a few of the highest rated ones to Wil.
Why all this Wil Wheaton stuff everywhere all of a sudden? I never knew this guy's name until a couple weeks ago, and now I see it all over the place. Was this a carefully planned attempt to distance himself from the "Wesley must die!" movement, or is this just another case of the media picking someone to hype for no apparent reason? Or is he being recognized for his accomplishments or some other seemingly obvious reason?
Ok, now that is just sick.
I always wanted to pork Beverley Crusher, but it would seem to me you a much better chance...
to be watched and idolised by all these closet-homo no-mark never-been-laid spunky-y-fronted skinny geek-spekked gimp freaks?
aaahh thankyou vver muucch.
More importantly... " Bootytown "?!?!?
From his FAQ (pronouned faq you twit), this is his response to "Do you ever get tired of people asking the same questions?"
The truth is, I really haven't, because even if it's the thousandth time I've been asked a question, it's the first time the person asking it has ever heard the answer
Fake PR drone alert... i bet his shit dosnt stink either... when will Hollywood types take a break and drop back down to reality.
Attention idiot moderators:
/. moron standards, *nothing* is technically off-topic unless it's not a question.
The topic is "Ask Wil Wheaton Anything". Therefore even by
It may be flamebait or a troll, but how could a question be "off-topic"?
Jerks.
Having been THE most hated character on TeeVee generally for years, ruining many a fine episode for me, now that you are one of those freaky super beings would you travel back in time and just, like, not turn up for the audition or something!
It won't bother you! Your a super being!
Wil Wheaton and Osama like animals. You could even say they love animals. In their
spare time, Wil Wheaton and Osama express their immense love for animals in their own
"special" way. In this first episode our two characters (mad with desire) have
broken into a local hospital where they find their first victim.
Wil Wheaton and Osama made their way into the lab where the animal experiments
were conducted. A cute, fuzzy rabbit had caught their eye...
The evil duo quickly subdued the little lab rabbit. They strapped the now
helpless animal's head to the sex table with hot leather. Osama had they urge,
and removed his pants, which were now buldging. After slipping off his briefs,
Osama tightly fastened the leather straps and was ready to begin.......
Osama began to "grease up". Shoving endless amounts of vaseline and baby
oil all around the rabbit's ass, he slid his purple head firmly into the
rabbit's tight asshole. Even though the rabbit was slightly unconscious,
screams of pain were constanly being emmited. Wil Wheaton reached for the chain whip
and smacked the rabbit's soft nose until its face was soaked with blood. Now,
with the rabbits head drooped over the edge of the table, Osama continued his
sex hunt. His now tingling cock was pushed deeper and deeper through the thick
layers of skin which covered the bowel tract. Five, six, seven, then finally
all eight and 3/4 inches were plunged deep within the animal's love canal.
Osama's manhood tingled with every slight movement of the now half alive
rabbit. He began rhythmically sliding in and out, moaning with pleasure on
every thrust. Osama worked himself into a hot orgasm. The blood, now coming
steadily out of the rabbit's ass with every thrust of Osama's pelvis, could be
heard dripping on the floor. Osama's rate increased and with a final push, he
spurted creamy white love gel far up into the rabbit's bleeding ass.
The blood and cum mixed together on the floor, which had now accumulated a
large puddle. Unknown to Osama, the semen had acted as a powerful enemma for
the rabbit and out ushered the contents of its intestine. The stool was loose
and soft. It fell to the ground with a soft thud and broke into small pieces.
The obnoxious smell caught Osama's attention, and no sooner had he fallen to
the ground and began licking the large puddle of blood, sperm, and stool.
Exited at Osama's enthusiasm, Wil Wheaton dropped to his knees and also began to slurp
the foul mixture.
After cleaning the floor with their tongues, Osama and Wil Wheaton checked on the
battered lab rabbit. It was barely able to hold its head up, as it had lost
control of most of its motor fuctions. Feeling no pity for this sexually
mistreated animal, they unstrapped it and tossed it across the room, only to
make a loud and deep thud against the wall. Its blood soaked fur left spatters
of red stains everywhere it touched. Wil Wheaton reached for his chain whip, while
Osama grabbed a pair of rusty hedge clippers (one of the many torture devices
carried around for "convenience"). They made their way over to the rabbit.
The rabbit was struggling for every last bit of air it could, just gasping and
wheezing.
"Awwwww. Poor little thing," Wil Wheaton maniacally laughed. He raised his arm
and thrust the cold metal whip down, exposing the rabbit's bloody flesh.
He kept whacking and whacking at the furry bag of blood. Then, when Wil Wheaton
stopped to catch his breath, Osama stepped over with his rusty hedge clippers.
He knelt over the rabbit who was knocking loudly on death's door. Osama took a
quick glance at the clippers, grinned, and then thrust them deep into the body
of the rabbit, obviously hitting many arteries. As the blood squirted into
Osama's face he moved the clippers around in hopes to find a thick bone to
crunch. "Aha! The femur!" he yelled out with excitement. Osama wedged the
clippers against the bone. He opened them wide......then closed down on them
with all his might. The bone could be heard deep inside the rabbit, being
mutilated. Death had glazed the bunny's eyes.
The rabbit lay dead, a bloody mess on the floor. Its bodily fluids freely
surged across the tiled floor. Then with a look of extreme satisfaction, both
Osama and Wil Wheaton lit up some smokes, gathered their belongings and quietly left
the hospital grounds, knowing with confidence that they would strike again,
somewhere, soon.
Great, now we've /.'ed Google.
Boxers or Briefs?
Some people think that every pretty face who knows how to groom themself is gay. Thats not 100% true.
Does CmdrTaco have a secret desire to be Wesley Crusher? Happy little geekboy growing up in a world for happy little geeks? ;)
Chris "Ng" Jones
cmsj@tenshu.net
www.tenshu.net
which one!?
Wesley or Beverly?
Yeah, when do we get to interview Ahmed Best?
Corollary to Moore's Law: The IQ of new computer owners is declining.
TNN is no longer 'the nashville network'. they are trying to 'reinvent' themselves as 'the national network'. so instead of 'dukes of hazzard' they are showing 'star trek'.
-sam
The REAL sam_at_caveman_dot_org is user ID 13833.
So... do you want your dollar back? I am curious if you have had an attitude adjustment yet, if not the dollar could be the start of a downpayment on one.
When do we see pictures of you in the goatse position?
:o)
Did you ever secretly want to be an open-source software developer instead of an actor?
---
Programming is like sex... Make one mistake and support it the rest of your life.
A calculated maneuver, in my estimation. :)
0x0D 0x0A
Was that the one where his ship travels back to earth instead of the alien homeworld and drops that huge planet-destroying bomb?
$200 says he answers with Marina Sirtis (Deanna Troi).
Personally, however, I'd have to choose Gates McFadden. (Beverly Crusher)
.... um, CmdrTaco, or CowboyNeal?
Mod Karma -1: I sed bad wurds. If I cep my mouf shut, I wud be at riyses.
Neither. Jack is obviously the hottest Crusher.
It's Deauville not deuville...
-- "Life is easier since I have excluded JonKatz stories from my homepage"
can we mod this down, it's covered extensively on his site and elsewhere.
This story, which happened one of these days in the town Uzhum, Kirov region, could decorate any blockbuster.
A machine operator of a local Kirov agricultural production complex Trukhin decided to visit his native village, Shurma. To carry out his plan, the several-ton tractor 'Kirovets-700' seemed to be the best mode of transportation. Who knows why, but comrade Trukhin did not remove the heavy plough fastened to the tractor. The first obstacle appeared in the way of the brave tractor driver already in garage of Antonkovo settlement: one of the drunk Trushkin's colleagues tried to stop him. As a result - cranial injury brought with an iron tube.
Two further obstacles - cars with drivers - were successfully sent with the plough to ditch (the plough came in handy!).
The policemen, who put hedgehogs in the way of the irrepressible tractor driver, surprisingly saw how the hedgehogs simply got stuck in the tractor's powerful whiles, while the plough accurately cut off the roof of the car belonging to Trukhin's chief.
Even the shooting of police guns, as well as of Kalashnikov submachine gun, could not help. Afterwards, the 'Kirovets' tractor finally drove into Urzhum village on its pierced tires and stopped before main entry of the local counting center. That was the end of the story. Trukhin was sent to hospital for a checkup, and the heroic tractor was driven to the nearest police station.
I don't know who explained the ranking system to you, but we get geek points, not cool points. Just thought you should know.
https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere
My question: Do you remember who won the contest? Was he/she cool? Did he/she actually make it into an episode?
"Bloody marvelous."
Is it true Paramount originally wanted to cast a troubled hard ass teen (a la Fame) to connect to a more diverse male teen audience, but instead felt that TNG had become too popular and wanted to antagonise existing fans by casting such a rampant homosexual as yourself? Perhaps you can shed some light as to why such action was felt appropriate.
As to the future of your career in feature films, Jebus have mercy on our souls!
Most people look back and wonder where it all went wrong. I can tell you that Crusher fucked a lot of people up.
No this is not a flame. To rate me down is to deny me my freedom of speech (or type... or whatever!).
"Ceilean Súil an ní ná feiceann..."
Whats it like on all of those other universeal plains?
Go to his website and read the FAQ. He readily admits to being a geek.
Here are several possibilities:
Trolling using another account since 2005.
I've spent time at WilWheaton.net over the last few weeks. You have a good sense of humor and your stories are pretty good. However, what really draws me to your site is your fans. There are two people that make me laugh so hard I almost wet myself when I read their comments. The first is Spudnuts and the second it Shatner Takes It Deep. I particularly like Shatner Takes It Deep's repeated comments about the giant purple dog penis tattoo on William Shatner's back. Can you tell us more about the tattoo? Does Shatner Takes It Deep make you laugh too?
How to Download YouTube Videos
attrative, yes.
actress, no.
she couldn't act her way out of a jr. high talent show.
cool, very cool
Curse you, Slashdot. Curse you.
Could you please tell us which interview questions you never, ever, ever want to hear again as long as you live, and no you don't care one bit if the person asking it is cute, or has offered sexual favors, you're sick of answering that question and you're not going to do it, okay?
You want the truthiness? You can't handle the truthiness!
Which is your favourite charcacter in Star Trek OS And TNG.(Dont tell me it is Wesley Crusher).
reSisTanCe iS fUtILe
... to have your own server slashdotted by a bunch of crazed fans?
I lost my concept of community when my community lost all concept of me.
Funny how it's always the Anonymous Cowards who post comments like this.
Start taking credit for what you post so we can word-bash you like the rest.
Is Patrick Stewart gay?
...slapping the crap out of Dustin Diamond since you have to work with him on your new movie ?
And if not, where do you find the willpower to not slap the crap out of somebody who played "Screech" on Saved By The Bell
I lost my concept of community when my community lost all concept of me.
Hey Will,
I've been following your insightful CleverNickName postings and reading your fun site for a while now. Simple question: what prompted the "coming out"? Mad whim, or promotional? Your candour is appreciated. ;-)
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
mmmmm, beverly crusher....
Yes, and it is because of this that Slashdot now has an interview with Wil Wheaton.
"They did it? SHIT! We're gonna do it too!"
My kingdom for some originality.
Wesley always came out annoying to me. Recently, I saw the episode with "the traveller" and I realized that Wesley could have been much more interesting/tolerable/likeable if he had been scripted better. So he was 15 and immature. I think the scriptwriters purposely kept him annoying. Most 15 year olds I know can be annoying, but put them in enough adult company and they "learn the ropes." They know when to talk and when to shut up. Someone with Wesley's intelligence should have learned that the first episode or two, then he could have been halfway decent. Instead, the scriptwriters always gave him the ability to save the ship, but he had to annoy everyone to do so.
Hey sexy mom Crusher! I'm afraid, Jean Luc was looking at my bum again!
the American Cinema Festival takes place in Dauville...Deuville doesn't exist you know ;)
____
nico
Nico-Live
I'm sorry, but your questions 2-4 are entirely moot. The name of the character played by Cary Elwes in The Princess Bride is, in fact, not Wesley. It is a common misconception, but the name is Westley. Check the credits, or just check on the IMDB.
:)
Nitpicky, but hey, it's a major point in most of your questions.
I can't help it that you're stupid enough to listen to me! I'm an idiot!
-- einstein (slashdot user 10761)
Ash vs. Duke Nukem: Who would win?
"Tell me doctor, with all of your defenses, are there any provisions for an attack by killer bees?"
All "why wasn't my prescious story accepted" posts should automatically be moderated to -5, whiny brat. And I hope the fools who moded you up get bitch slaped in meta moderation.
What did you think about Topeka, KS the home of NewTek, the heart of middle America.
The one time I saw you was at Denny's at some
ungodly hour of the morning with a reasonably hot Asian chick. We were the loud group of fags and dykes.
Do you remember?