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Chase the Rabbits

So, it's Friday night, and as usual, we need some sort of entertainment. Tonight's theme: fitness. Here's what happens when a computer geek meets a Navy SEAL for PT. It's not pretty. But does he learn? Oh no.

17 of 336 comments (clear)

  1. Re:waiting for windows by IHopeYouTripAndFall · · Score: 1, Funny

    Thanks a lot folks! He will be here all week!

  2. Stay in shape, Choose SysAdmin by Raptor_316 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Keeping in shape is easy, just become a Systems Administrator. All these long hours here working on systems provides no time for bad habbits such as eating. Oh, that is unless you run all UNIX, this fitness programs requires Microsoft Windows NT4 Server or better or Netware of any version.

    1. Re:Stay in shape, Choose SysAdmin by digitalunity · · Score: 3, Funny

      Admin is easy. Try laying cat5 for 8 hours. That's *real work*.

      --
      You can't legislate goodness. Let each to his own destiny, by will of his freely made choices.
  3. The Meanest Geek, EVER by Talisman · · Score: 3, Funny

    This is me at a convention in San Diego a few years ago. Before making any smartass comments, yes, I'm the one in the middle.

    I am a former Marine, 225 lbs. @ 7% BF, who works as a real network engineer (not a lame-dick MCSE) who runs Linux and FreeBSD at home.

    There are two points to this post.

    1) I am the meanest geek, ever.
    2) Just because you're smart, doesn't mean you have to play the role of the skinny, unathletic nerd.

    --

    "Study your math, kids. Key to the universe." -The Archangel Gabriel
    1. Re:The Meanest Geek, EVER by CanadaDave · · Score: 3, Funny
      Isn't that the governor of Texas, Jesse Ventura?

    2. Re:The Meanest Geek, EVER by Jardine · · Score: 4, Funny

      I think you mean the governor of Minnesota.

    3. Re:The Meanest Geek, EVER by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      All the steroids made you blurry.

    4. Re:The Meanest Geek, EVER by Monkeyman334 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Do you ever beat yourself up for lunch money?

  4. Re:Hrrph, What a loser... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny
    The GI Bill, Feddie health care, and, with all the extraneous wars we fight, you'll only need to wait 6 months to bayonet your first baby!


    Never bayonet a baby. They're more dangerous than they look -- stick with grenades.

  5. I've run that course by AlaskanUnderachiever · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's called "living in rural Alaska" and for anyone that's bored of the SEAL training, they should try cross country running. . . on tundra. . .at -50 below. . . while being chased by bison. . . in a blizzard. .

    all to get the sunday paper. . .

    --
    Find out about my new childrens book: SS Death Camp Criminal Batallion Go To Monte Carlo For The Massacre
    1. Re:I've run that course by Suppafly · · Score: 3, Funny

      you forgot "up hill, both ways! and we like it like that!"

  6. Roids by Talisman · · Score: 4, Funny

    "did you lose anything else with the steroids?"

    Why you are curious about my nuts, I have no idea. But I'll answer, so you can sleep tonight.

    Testicular atrophy is normal while taking steroids, but if you only are on for short periods of time, they swell back to normal once you stop the cycle.

    If you take Clomiphene Citrate after a cycle, you can stay on for quite a while and still save your nads from perma-shrinkage.

    If you want to bukkake your girl, pop a few Clomid tabs and wait a few days. You'll be spurting ounces at a time. Here's a pic of my pet squirrel after having Clomid mixed into his feed for a few days.

    As for the phallus, steroids actually increase the size of it. Small balls, large crank. Who gives a shit about large nuts, anyway? Really, when was the last time you heard a bunch of chicks sitting around talking fondly of some guy's gigantic testes?

    --

    "Study your math, kids. Key to the universe." -The Archangel Gabriel
  7. But he didn't actually chase any rabbits... by dbc · · Score: 2, Funny
    Very interesting read. What that guy did would waste me. Would waste most of us, I would guess.


    But I digress... back in ancient times when I was in high school and the USA was still sending folks to the moon, one of my track team buddies, a distance man, would train by literally chasing rabbits. Until they dropped. Dead. From heat exhaustion. He would simply go out to a back pasture in the farm, scare up a fluffy bunny, and chase him. He claimed it made training runs less boring. Turns out rabbits are quick but can't take long runs because they overheat. So anyway I took the headline a little too literally.


    Animal lovers will probably now start a flame war on this thread. But I'm just a reporter here. I don't endorse it. Gramps is going back to his rocking chair now.

  8. no way by kin_korn_karn · · Score: 3, Funny

    I wouldn't do this. it might get me in better shape, but all that's good for is getting you laid - if you have the personality to back up the looks.

    I have a horrible personality to most women. So being in shape won't give me any advantage in life that isn't immediately nullified by my basic nature.

    Hence, exercising is useless to me.

    At least I quit smoking, but only because I hated the smell and it made my eyes burn.

  9. Yeah, thanks for that... by neonstz · · Score: 4, Funny

    Got up at 1130 Saturday morning, checked my email and Slashdot. Reading this story (yes, the entire story) about a guy working out didn't actually make me feel good about myself. :)

  10. Re:chant (another one) by distributed.karma · · Score: 2, Funny

    Secant, cosine, tangent, sine
    Three point one four one five nine
    E to the x dx dy
    Radical transcendental pi
    Two point seven one eight two eight
    Come on folks, let's integrate!

    --

    --
    If you moderate this, then your children will be next.

  11. And then carry the 200lb. bastard 500 miles... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    That's great, and then when they kill the freakin' thing in Nova Scotia, Mooatl says to Tezoltl, "next time, man, don't forget the god-damned shotgun."