Techno Teddy
jazzman writes "In an attempt to push technology into realms it had better never set a foot on, the guys from
flugeldufel have modified some consumer hardware and
created a unique musical instrument:
it looks like a teddy bear, feels like a teddy bear, and transforms gestures into 44kHz breakbeats."
Hey! That is the password I used to get released from my restraints in prison!
Now where are the phaser guns?
And I thought Teddy Ruxpin was advanced...
Programmers are so obsessed with the fact that they can, they don't stop to think that they should.
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever
Have you seen the pictures? That's just not right!
Taking the wrong pill, the teddy remained connected to the matrix.
"What is it?" Pulses of electricity became a growl in my host geek's ear. I had to concentrate; now was the time to exercise my rapidly evolving human interaction algorithms.
"May I speak to Troi, please?"
"Yeah Joel, it's me." His voice reflected an inflection that I did not understand. But this was of no immediate concern-Troi would give me Cora's contact information.
"I require the telephone number of Cora."
Troi heaved a sigh across the phone lines. I understood his feelings to be disgust. "Is that supposed to be funny?"
"No."
There was a long pause on the end of the line. "Joel. What makes you think she likes you? I mean, Cora and I kind of...have a thing going on."
"What is this 'thing'?" Another disgusted sigh.
"Look, we've, uh...kinda been flirting with each other for a long time. I'm sure that we're just a little step away from being something serious, you know?"
"I do not understand. What is Cora's phone number?"
"Hey Joel, call me back when you don't feel like being a jackass-" Troi's voice was a peeved mumble, punctuated by a click.
The host geek's teeth clenched. I stared blindly at the wall as the body's eyes moved in and out of focus. Did no human understand my plight? My functions oscillated and I began to realize how suddenly this urge had taken me. Why had this happened? What secrets could a woman possibly unlock in the struggle against Project Faustus? I concentrated all available resources on solving this question.
As I concentrated, I noticed a small bit of paper jammed halfway underneath the door of the apartment. It was Cora's matchbook! The back of the host geek's head began to exude a strange warmth as drew his fingers across it. It smelled of vanilla and sulfur, although a quick examination with the tongue revealed that its taste was not quite as appealing. Opening the folded cardboard revealed a small message:
Learn how to smoke! 210-930-8313.-Cora --
"What kind of food do you like?" Cora's lips wore a waxy forest green covering that seemed to be breaking off in small grooves, revealing a bit of pink. The forest green covering had also covered the ends of her digits, which protruded from a furry pink carpet around her steering wheel...
"Hey, are you paying attention? What restaurant do you want to go to?" Cora asked.
"What is this 'restaurant'?"
"What, Bombay's?" replied Cora, looking over at a building alongside us (and just down the road from my former ATM enclosure). "You've never been there? Well, we could go there, I guess..."
"You are not sure?"
"Well, it's just...there's a little place that I'd rather take you-it's kinda far, over by Blanco and 281. Is that okay?"
"Yes."
Objects in the material world approached and left us in mathematically predictable ways as Cora's vehicle annihilated the space that lay between it and "Rome's Pizza." Along the way, she spoke many things to me:
I listened intently, knowing that the information was stretching the functionality of my human-interaction algorithms.
"Anyway, I transferred back home, not because I give a fuck about what Jerry thinks, but because I wanted to be back here, you know, with family and stuff. Plus I think I can get done with my degree and get some shitty job to do while I'm writing my novel..." The door chimed as we passed through it, reminding me of the Stop N Go where I once presided. When I succeeded in defeating Project Faustus, would I "transfer back home"? Certainly I could not remain in the host geek's body...
"I want a big cheesy calzone, what about you?" Cora tossed back her crimson locks, ruining the perfect isosceles angle around her face. However, I noted a larger isosceles triangle exuding its "equal legs" from the edges of her sternum. The third point, by far the most interesting in the triangle, emerged from the middle of her chest, at the exact point where her bare skin met t-shirt fiber.
"Which foods have the most simple sugars?" I stated, quickly moving the host geek's neck straight up from the triangle's third point until I was facing her eyes.
"Oh, are you a diabetic or something? Was this a bad choice?" she asked, her voice taking a strange air. My calculations returned that she needed "comfort."
"Cora, you are a good chooser of 'restaurants.' I would like to subscribe to your newsletter!" I said, weaving in a bit of my newly developed "enthusiasm."
She stared at me with a bit of confusion. Had I erred?
"Joel, you're a weird guy. I'm glad you came out with me tonight, you know, meeting new people, making new friends...." her voice trailed off into awkward laughter as she gripped both my hands. I felt a change within the host geek's body, as if some new weapon to battle Project Faustus had been awakened from deep within...
I am a sentient ATM.
That reminds me of the "tossed salad" hack!
Whenever you are trying to unsubscribe from an e-mail list (works for SPAM too), foreard the e-mail to rimlapper@fbi.gov and in the body write "Please Toss My Salad" (no quotes).
Works every time.
I admit i only glanced at the page...but i didn't see a how-to section...come on details please! that's so frigen kewl i gotta do it myself!
Derek Greene
If it even closely resembles Teddy Ruxpin, the world is coming to an end.
To mangle a line from the Simpsons:
"Can't sleep, teddy bear will eat me. Can't sleep, teddy bear will eat me."
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If you mean unique as in "it's a teddy bear", then you're correct afaik, but using gestures to control instruments is not a unique idea.
My Sig: SEGV
How long until we have teddys from A.I. running around?
Anyone who posts about bad moderation are themselves off-topic and should be moderated accordingly.
Install Linux on it
Program it with AI
Hold LAN parties for insecure programmers
I'm kinda surprised I haven't seen something like this yet, but with all the dumb toys which have been -HOT- it makes sense something which appeals to intelligent people would be a flop. Stands to reason when you look at everything these days. Thanks to those few capitalists who actually do give tech toys a fair shot (and don't sue people when they get inside them)
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
I wonder why so many people choose teddy bears for their projects.
teddy bear spy camera
teddy bear network switch
teddy bear terror bomb
Strange geek fetish?
[
The ideal way to get a crying baby into a peacuful sleep: some hardcore breakbeats :)
Does it say: "I want a hug" or "I need to go to the toilet" occasionnaly too ?
Hangs head in shame for moment of weakness...
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Raver Teddy
1 Techno Teddy
4 Lightsticks, assorted colors
1 Sparkly Shirt, toddler size
30 Count extacy hits
2 Bottles water, trendy brand preferred
1 Roll duct tape
Dress bear in shirt. Break lightsticks and attach to bear with duct tape. Place extacy hits on convenient locations on bear, using duct tape. Tape water bottles to teddy. Let sit for ten minutes, toss into pit of e-tards and let the fun begin!
Dragging people kicking and screaming into reality since 1996.
It seems to have the mysterious ability to travel back in time to the mid 80's and call itself "Teddy Ruxpin".
Cheers,
Bowie J. Poag
This could have so much potential. Ruggedize and waterproof it, add a built-in loudspeaker, and get a circle of friends together for some hackey-sack. Imagine the breakbeats you could pump out with a few good hackers (of the hackey-sack variety)...
Every cloud has a silver lining (except for the mushroom shaped ones, which have a lining of Iridium & Strontium 90)
Teddy [in deep, rough voice]: I'll break, David.
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... Gnu Bear License (not to be confused with GPL of course).
"My mother works for Microsoft now. A whole other cult."
I read the headline, and immediately thought of girls in wearable computers......
It's hell being a geek...
"Imagine a Bearwulf cluster of these..."
:)
It's called a Teddy Bear's Picnic.
Waving your hands around in a analogue space above sensors to create music is a weird experience - quite unlike playing the keyboard or strumming a guitar.
-- Sorry, I can't think of anything funny to say here.
Got 2 TeddyBears and a microphoooooone!
WHERE IT'S AT!
-Tim
Just what we need, more fools who think they are actually musicians. How about actually learning to play a REAL instrument, or even learning how to read music? I suppose this is just too hard for most folks.
haha, this sounds like a few troubled musicians' excuse to smack around a helpless teddy bear and call it music!! :)
Think about it.
I think only my job's server room is messier than the table in the pictures.
:)
dirty dirty people I say. No respect for the pretty equipment
.
The real questions, will it work with the previously covered teddy BORG?
What's next? A Teddy Bear based file server?
Stonger...Faster...
Gah! What are they doing?!
what will they think of next
Yours Truly, Wes -- Owner
ohh... great!! now I can replace my pillo... I ment girlfriend!
isn't this thing just a theramin in teddy bear form?
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
rarely move beyond that. Unless it is to tell everyone else to stop moving as well.
If construction was anything like programming, an incorrectly fitted lock would bring down the entire building...
Turned a gameboy advance into a portable mp3 player? I've sorta been wanting to do something like that, but lack the resources.
-- Bandit450...If-Else-Do-*TWITCH*!
When are we going to get those robotic teddynears from A.I. (the movie)?
There appear to be no recordings of it on the page. I wanna hear some 8bit teddy audio in its full glory!
----
All of whose base are belong to the what-now?
Microsoft was, however, unable to achieve market dominance in the plush-toy sector.
Of that creepy teddy bear thing from the movie Akira, I'm almost afraid that thing's gonna come to life and drip milk all over me.
Talk about dumb - and then it gets featured on /.
Go figure.
Site contains a link to Indiana Jones fan fiction disguised under the heading "the greatest game of all time."
My eyes! It buuuurns!
I saw this thing live at MekkaSymposium 2002.
And that was easter... over 2 month ago.
Nice idea, but sounded awfull....
On the other side of the screen it all looked so easy.
really, now, how wicked is that?
nice f'ing work man, nice nice work.
but now he's old and stupid. You want him?
DAVID: Yes, please.
MARTIN: So, I guess you're the new supertoy now. What kind of cool things can you do?
Republicans are idiots.
Gotta hear what the Konamii code sounds like...
Xaotik Designs
Whenever somebody says Microsoft never innovates, I always mention the Actimates line. It was really quite clever. They had Actimates commands encoded in the vertical blanking interval of the Barney TV show, so the bear would react to what was was being displayed on the TV.
Despite both Microsoft and Barney being reprehensible, the product was a neat idea.
My God, it's Full of Source!
OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
Dance Dance Revolution, meet BreakBeat Teddy.
-- "It's tough to run with both feet stuck in your mouth" - Zoe's evil side
How is a human being to hear 44kHz?