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Haiku vs Spam

Mark Cantrell was among several people who sent in a story about a company using "Haiku to Stop Spam. Essentially you use a copyrighted Haiku to tag that a message meets criteria (1 Recipient, Pre-Existing Relationship, etc) which then makes it a simple matter to filter the mail. I'm sure the spammers in China will laugh wildly as they forge the haiku. I challange comment posters to post only Haiku in this discussion ;)

79 of 708 comments (clear)

  1. Ignorance is beaming by cicatrix1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    China eh? Funny, I always thought Haiku was a Japanese art. . .

    --

    I know more than you drink.
    1. Re:Ignorance is beaming by davmct · · Score: 5, Funny

      missed the intent
      chinese send you more spam
      while japanese write haiku

    2. Re:Ignorance is beaming by F34nor · · Score: 3, Informative

      Haiku is actually a drinking game based on the larger form Tanka 5,7,5,7,7.

      You write Haiku 5,7,5. Pass it to a friend. They take a shot of Sake and write 7,7, to make it a Tanka. It go so popular that it became its own form.

      Works well with 2 way hand shaking.

      Winter's frozen spam,
      Delicate jelly of meat,
      Router eat it all.

    3. Re:Ignorance is beaming by Geeyzus · · Score: 5, Funny

      This is Slashdot, fool
      Stories posted thoughtlessly
      Proofreads for the weak.

    4. Re:Ignorance is beaming by Salamander · · Score: 5, Funny

      Get it straight, scab-boy.
      The *spammers* are from China.
      Not the poetry.

      --
      Slashdot - News for Herds. Stuff that Splatters.
    5. Re:Ignorance is beaming by Jucius+Maximus · · Score: 5, Funny
      As long as they're not using this haiku, I'm ok with it:

      Hello, I send you
      this file to have your advice,
      thanks see you later.

    6. Re:Ignorance is beaming by digitalsushi · · Score: 3, Funny
      amateurs...
      lynx slashdot.org --dump 2>/dev/null|grep haiku

      ...or for the non unixy folks

      lynx slashdot dot org
      make all errors disappear
      then grep for haiku

      --
      slashdot: where everyone yells sarcastic metaphors to themselves to understand the issue
    7. Re:Ignorance is beaming by digitalsushi · · Score: 3, Funny

      This doesnt seem like a challenging game. The drunker you get, the easier it is to turn words into one syllable.

      --
      slashdot: where everyone yells sarcastic metaphors to themselves to understand the issue
    8. Re: Ignorance is beaming by screwballicus · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hank: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
      Kahn: I live in California last twenty years, but, uh, first couple, Laos.
      Hank: Huh?
      Kahn: Laos. We Laotian.
      Bill: The ocean? What ocean?
      Kahn: We are Laotian. From Laos, stupid! It's a landlocked country in Southeast Asia. It's between Vietnam and Thailand, okay?? Population: four point seven million.
      Hank: So... are you Chinese or Japanese?

    9. Re:Ignorance is beaming by Speare · · Score: 5, Interesting

      You offer:

      • "lynx slashdot.org --dump 2>/dev/null|grep haiku"

      In syllables, it still works in Unix. Nicely done!

      • lynx slashdot dot org
        dash dash dump, err to dev null,
        piped thru grep haiku

      But a good haiku is a metaphor between man and nature, still crammed into the syllabic form.

      • The Lynx hunts the weeds,
        ignoring all distraction,
        eyes only its prey.
      --
      [ .sig file not found ]
  2. haiku leaves something... by moby · · Score: 5, Funny

    posting in haiku
    will leave much left unmentioned
    but those are the rules

    1. Re:haiku leaves something... by mikeee · · Score: 5, Funny

      Slashdot geeks can't spell.
      And now they're writing hiaku?
      I'm afraid to look.

  3. award winning, no less by Mynn · · Score: 5, Funny

    sometimes seventeen
    syllables ain't enough to
    express a complete

    --

    Face it, people are stupid, and the internet is the place where they all meet.
    1. Re:award winning, no less by kin_korn_karn · · Score: 5, Funny

      i don't like haiku
      I can never get all the
      syllables to add up right

    2. Re:award winning, no less by Kintanon · · Score: 4, Funny

      feel the agony,
      my haiku is incomplete,
      four syllables.

      Kintanon

      --
      Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
  4. The Zen of Spam by Frater+219 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Drop by drop by drop
    Sweet rain turns to killing flood
    One mail, ten mails, spam.

    1. Re:The Zen of Spam by micromoog · · Score: 5, Funny

      Parent post shines bright
      Author understands haiku
      Mod that sumbitch up.

  5. Don't forget seasonal foo by i0lanthe · · Score: 5, Funny

    Pro-copyright news,
    like shifting summer breezes,
    fans Slashdot fires.

    --
    "The Crystal Wind is the Storm, and the Storm is Data, and the Data is Life"
  6. With apologies to Basho... by jinx90277 · · Score: 4, Funny

    The old pond; spammer
    jumps in; the sound of water;
    please, please, no bubbles.

    --
    "she says i'm lousy conversation. as if that's supposed to help."
  7. Power Outage Haiku by farrellj · · Score: 5, Funny

    Zen's sound is nothing
    Power out, system silent
    No power is Zen

    --
    CAN-CON 2019 - Ottawa's only book oriented Science Fiction Convention! October 18-20, Sheraton Hotel, Ottawa, Canada h
  8. Re:As requested by zeus_tfc · · Score: 3, Funny

    Your first line is off,
    Two syllables are missing.
    Do you know Haiku?

    Anything that blocks
    Spam from my machine is good.
    How long will this work?

    --
    "...At the end of the day"..."when everyone goes home, you're stuck with yourself." RIP Layne Staley
  9. Re:Come on! by MrFredBloggs · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why not read thing first
    before you post mindless trash
    slashdot getting worse

  10. Some haikus for filtering! by Marasmus · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is a spam mail
    please erase this from Inbox
    Don't need viagra

    this is for my friend
    always so nice and helpful
    no pyramid scheme

    i hate christine hall
    and her trafficmagnet site
    send me endless spam

    amazon dot com
    stop sending me newsletters
    I'm illiterate

    --
    .... um, i lost you after "0110100001101001".
    1. Re:Some haikus for filtering! by fingerbear · · Score: 3, Funny

      How about:

      My husband, a prince,
      needs your bank account number.
      Please -- this is urgent!

      or:

      I appeal to you
      for help with all my secret
      Nigerian cash.

    2. Re:Some haikus for filtering! by geoswan · · Score: 3, Funny
      I'm Nigerian
      Share thirty million bucks?
      You send money first

      Me? an idiot
      How could I not trust this deal?
      here you go my friend!

  11. How to title a Haiku? by dlek · · Score: 3, Informative
    Interesting plan.
    But can your exhausted courts
    really handle this?

    (For those who don't know: haiku is three lines of five, seven, and five syllables, in that order.)

  12. FYI: How to haiku by zaren · · Score: 3, Informative

    From nmhu.edu:

    HAIKU - (high-coo)

    The haiku is a three-line, seventeen syllable, unrhymed poem, which uses nature as its primary focus. The Haiku captures a moment in nature or in life and freezes it with disciplined language. Each reader then thaws the message, the picture that has been painted by words, and brings the scene to life.

    17 syllable, 3 lines

    Line 1 5 syllables
    Line 2 7 syllables
    Line 3 5 syllables

    --
    Come to the University of Mars! Classes starting soon!
    1. Re:FYI: How to haiku by Geeyzus · · Score: 5, Funny

      Karma whores unite
      New story, they flood the board
      Yearning for +5s

  13. Gradeschool English Teacher Cheers! by Casca · · Score: 5, Funny

    My english teacher
    Finally vindicated
    Haiku has a use

    --
    Casca
  14. It's inevitable.. by cswiii · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Do YOU want to see
    Iambic Pentameter
    Lesbian action?"

  15. url by i0lanthe · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Try h t t p
    colon slash slash habeas
    dot com. More info.

    --
    "The Crystal Wind is the Storm, and the Storm is Data, and the Data is Life"
  16. WTF. It's 5/7/5, people. by Wakko+Warner · · Score: 5, Funny

    Damn, you guys are 'tards.
    Learn to write proper haiku.
    (I could teach my dog.)

    - A.P.

    --
    "Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
  17. YOu asked for it by BoneFlower · · Score: 3, Funny

    Vogon poetry

    Stopping spammers easily

    Sue their asses now

  18. [Slightly OT] nitpick time... by billbaggins · · Score: 5, Informative
    The linked article
    Displaying limited brains
    May be quoted thus:
    Habeas is a Latin term used in legal proceedings that means "evidence" or "to show proof."
    Habeas in fact
    means "let us have" and no more
    and not "evidence"

    They are thinking of
    "writ of habeas corpus"
    "Let's have the body"

    Nitpick mode now off
    Let those who frequent this board
    Now resume to speak.

    --
    "The best argument against democracy is a five minute chat with the average voter."
    --Winston Churchill
    1. Re:[Slightly OT] nitpick time... by Bob+Violence · · Score: 5, Informative
      Conjugate rightly.
      Those endings are important.
      This is what you said:

      Habeas in fact
      means "let us have" and no more
      and not "evidence"

      But that's not correct.
      "Habeas" means "you should have."
      It's second person,

      singular, or so
      I learned in Latin classes
      many autumns past.

  19. Spam Haiku by Chris Nieto by mh_tang · · Score: 5, Funny

    Oh tin of pink meat
    I ponder what you may be:
    Snout or ear or feet?

  20. yoda on licenses by PMuse · · Score: 4, Funny

    Take license to send
    email to people I know?
    Now, matters are worse.

    --
    "We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
  21. Re:As requested by Pii · · Score: 3, Funny
    Posters do complain
    Signal noise ratio falling
    Slashdot fades to black...

    --
    For those that would die defending it, Freedom
    has a sweet taste that the protected will never know.
  22. Re:To mikeee, re: "hiaku" by mikeee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Oops! Misspelled haiku.
    Pretend that it was satire.
    Yeah, that's the ticket.

  23. Read the article... by jaaron · · Score: 4, Informative

    read the article

    mystery revealed to you

    poem placed in header

    --
    Who said Freedom was Fair?
  24. Ahem... by Dannon · · Score: 5, Funny

    There was a story on Yahoo
    About filtering spam with Haiku.
    So in five-seven-five,
    All the /.ers jived,
    But I thought I should try something new!

    --
    Good judgment comes from experience.
    Experience comes from bad judgment.
  25. Re:As requested by Mr.+Sketch · · Score: 3, Funny

    i know not haiku
    as my previous post proves
    i go back to code

  26. Re:Chinese? Don't think so. by jdreed1024 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Stupid formatting. Should have been:

    Haiku poems are
    Japanese, not Chinese; shows
    what you know, Slashdot.

    --
    There is no sig, there is only Zuul.
  27. Re:Mandatory spelling / grammar flame by benjamindees · · Score: 4, Funny

    ah, poor slashdotter
    you tried to correct spelling,
    made grammar mistake

    --
    "I assumed blithely that there were no elves out there in the darkness"
  28. But if this scheme works, I'll have no excuse... by LiberalApplication · · Score: 3, Interesting


    Effective filters
    Steal the light out of my day
    Weep, I, for lost pr0n

  29. Re:As requested by Fat+Casper · · Score: 5, Insightful
    I will misuse law
    To make up for one lacking.
    Still not enforceable.

    --
    I spent a year in Iraq looking for WMD and all I found was this lousy sig.
  30. So Habeas decides who's allowed to spam. by Tenebrious1 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Individuals and Internet service providers can license and use the mark for free, while businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it.

    Great, so now my inbox gets filled with spam, but from companies that are paying Habeas to do so. I'll have to add the domains of those who purchase licenses to my filters... wait, isn't that what I'm doing now?

    Sure, sue spammers for trademark infringement, copyright violations. Yes, since the RIAA, MPAA, and Microsoft are having so much success stamping out piracy in China, I'm sure this new scheme is going to stop the spammers cold! In fact let me call my broker so I can buy some Habeas stock!

    --
    -- If god wanted me to have a sig, he'd have given me a sense of humor.
  31. Just in time - a collection of Spam Haiku!!! by Muad'Dave · · Score: 4, Funny
    By Muad'Dave:

    Like bodysnatchers,
    Spam has crept into our lives
    It will win, I think.

    The mad scientist,
    in the lab toils to create
    square pigs for Hormel.

    Spam, it does not reap,
    neither doth it sow, I think,
    it cunningly waits.

    When left with the rest,
    A wise man chose to call it
    Spam: Sow Parts And Meat.

    Glist'ning, shiny block,
    too horrible to think from
    where you came and how.

    You must look at Spam
    that does not correspond to
    the knitting machine.

    Spark'ling Spam that zaps
    when eaten or dropped from high
    drank from the charge pond.

    Unlike the Eggy,
    Spam not only 'can tongue', it
    is canned tongue in steel.

    Deep within the heart
    of swine there cries out a voice
    "Spam, my destiny."

    Saw a therapist-
    He made me wallow in Spam.
    He was The Rapist.

    Ran out of dead cows
    to loft at the seiged city.
    Used Spam, rest all died.

    Ship loaded with Spam
    runs aground on the dark reef.
    Oil slick and fish kill.

    Greasy loaf, digest.
    Leave me better than you found-
    Clog not arteries.

    Truncated blue can,
    how can you contain such vile
    and slimy pig guts?

    Who hast made thee, Spam?
    Pink, glutinous, porcine parts
    there in gelled repose.

    Chopped and fried, layered
    among other things pig-like,
    surely a man's feast.

    The Spam maps Pam's amps
    hoping to find a way to
    avoid the hot pan.

    Spam spilled in the street,
    greasy and slick from the can,
    a twelve car pileup.

    Faint whiff of the sea,
    Greasy scent of things porcine,
    I must open it.

    Missles fly, "Nuke War!"
    All is still, the earth cools down,
    Roaches feast on Spam.

    Sliced for sandwich,
    formed as loaf, chopped for salad,
    my Spam does not judge.

    Once thought unclean, now
    all pigs strive for a higher
    plane of being - Spam.

    By T. Goodfellow:

    Conjugating Spam
    spamo, spamas, spamatus
    Boy I hate Latin.

    Spam in my stocking
    on December 25th
    I was bad this year

    50% off
    an after-Christmas Spam sale
    plenty to pick from

    If Spam were outlawed
    only outlaws would carry
    guns made of pig meat

    While on a cruise ship
    "Spam overboard!" came the yell
    No one seemed to care

    Ma pig, to her son,
    If you don't make something of
    yourself, Hormel will.

    I like Spam, I do
    but I'd never admit it
    to someone like you

    Locked out of the house
    on the doorstep shivering
    Spam waits for its master

    DaVinci drawing
    to British scholars reveals
    early Spam concepts

    re-inventing Spam
    I suggest we use soy beans
    vegetarian

    Like chicken and egg
    does the can shape the Spam, or
    does Spam shape the can?

    Summer '59,
    The rains came early, then dry
    A great Spam vintage.

    Sooner or later
    zero or more cans of Spam
    not pleasing itself

    only Hormel can
    make the manslaughter of pigs
    Man's laughter of Spam

    Hogs, none the wiser
    board the bus to nirvana
    destination: Spam

    A pallet of Spam
    could it be any worse than
    Spam on the palette

    Secret document
    stolen by Chinese agents
    Spam powered rockets

    Proper etiquette
    demands that Spam eaters
    conceal agony

    Attorneys or Spam
    The only difference is
    in the packaging

    If Spam grew on trees
    Newton's law calculations
    would have been greasy

    In a Spam glacier
    a fully preserved mammoth
    What a way to go

    Tunneling inward
    the electron microscope
    atomic pig parts

    pigs, each year with hope
    in vain searching yellow pages
    still no Spam heading

    the stock broker
    stuffing his porkfolio
    going long on Spam

    Anticipation
    Spam in a ketchup bottle
    s l o w l y s l i d i n g out.

    Boy scout winter camp
    Spam unevenly heated
    half frozen; half burnt

    --
    Tiller's Rule: Never use a word in written form that you've only heard and never read. You will end up looking foolish.
  32. Re:Chinese? Don't think so. by linuxrunner · · Score: 3, Funny

    Thats way too funny

    please mod the parent post up

    correct format please

    --
    www.slightlycrewed.com - Because aren't we all?
  33. How about these... by Mindwarp · · Score: 5, Funny

    From Nigeria
    Someone owes you millions
    too good to be true!

    SlashDot article
    Hyperlinks call to me but
    afraid of GoatSex

    Dear hated spammer,
    You vandalise my hotmail.
    Die with spike up ass!

    SlashDot educates,
    I thought Haiku Japanese,
    Now I know better.

    --
    The gift of death metal does not smile on the good looking.
  34. Re:As requested by hey! · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Hmm. So far as a I know 5-7-5 is the rule; in addition to be a true haiku it must have a nature theme; satirical 5-7-5 verses are known as senryu. Strict rules in the form of haiku made sense because the form originated as a set of standard openings (hokku) for renga. Renga is kind of a Japanese poetry geek game in whihc players take turns adding to the end of a poem according to complicated rules as to form and theme. Collections of hokku were made the way chess enthusiasts collect openings. Eventually, making hokku branched off into a separate literary activity.

    People adapting the haiku form to other languages may well relax the 5-7-5 rule, because it doesn't really make sense in many other languages other than Japanese. Every language has its unique sound which dicttaes its poetic form. However, I'd argue that a true haiku canot be created in any language other Japanese, or perhaps some other language that flows similarly. The true sound of a Japanese 5-7-5 stanza cannot be captured in English. I expect that certain English forms, such as the limerick, don't fare well in Japanese. English is a stressed language, so all limericks share a kind of flow to them: da-DAdada-DAdada-DUM, da-DAdada-DAdada-DUM, da-DAdada-DUM, da-DAdada-DUM,da-DAdada-DAdada-DUM.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  35. The strategy, in plain English by mblase · · Score: 4, Informative

    Five-seven-and-five
    Aren't nearly enough words
    To explain oneself.

    The Habeas mark contains a three-line haiku protected by copyright law. Six other lines contain the copyright and trademark notices and other trademark protected information.... If senders fail to meet the criteria, they could be sued for trademark and copyright infringement, Mitchell said.

    Basically, they're using copyright law to replace a non-existant spam law. If your header contains their copyrighted haiku, then you're not sending spam and you're allowed through. If you use the haiku header and you're still spam, you're violating their rules and are sued for copyright infringement.

    Cute strategy, especially the part where they piggyback on the geek affection for gratuitous haiku, but it's built upon the (frankly) naive idea that their subscribers can get everyone they want to get email from to play along. It basically turns your entire flow of email into an "opt-in" list. It's nice that you can sue spammers with forged headers for copyright infringement, but that's not what's going to happen; what will happen is you'll get a "unknown sender" folder chock-full of spam and a few useful e-mails from people who don't know or don't care how to use the haiku header, and you'll still have to sort through it by hand every day.

    The spammers won't need to forge their headers, unless (somehow) this tactic gets adopted by the entire Internet, including Yahoo, Hotmail and AOL. The inconvenience will be great enough that no one will want to play along anyway.

  36. Yes, we must have seasonal references! by Tackhead · · Score: 4, Funny

    550 spammer
    trying to mail my user
    fuck you, it's summer

  37. click through haiku by b_pretender · · Score: 5, Funny

    Click-through Haiku

    you must comply to
    this copyright agreement
    I agree || Cancel

  38. I've got your challange right here... by toupsie · · Score: 3, Interesting
    I challange comment posters to post only Haiku in this discussion ;)

    I challenge the editors of Slashdot to quit posting crap like this. There is more going on in the world of SPAM prevention than the stupidity of adding Haikus to e-mail messages (great waste of bandwidth).

    Maybe it passed by the editor's eyes that Apple has registered the trademark 'Junkyard' and has installed "sophisticated built-in junk mail filtering" into Mac OS X 10.2. Rumor is that Apple will be adding junk mail filtering software in their Mac OS X Server OS. Junkyard is the product name for this technology that is going to be added/tagged on to Mac OS X Server's version of Sendmail. If it is like Rendezvous, it will be open source and available to the Open Source Community.

    --
    Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
    1. Re:I've got your challange right here... by _xeno_ · · Score: 3, Funny

      Junkyard to fight spam
      So the spammers must fight back
      Then it's Junkyard Wars.

      --
      You are in a maze of twisty little relative jumps, all alike.
    2. Re:I've got your challange right here... by Fourier · · Score: 3, Insightful

      There is more going on in the world of SPAM prevention than the stupidity of adding Haikus to e-mail messages (great waste of bandwidth).

      How much more a waste
      is sending ASCII email
      with HTML?

  39. Seventeen syllables? by Rayonic · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ha! I bet in Perl you could write it in eight.

  40. Re:fp by Graspee_Leemoor · · Score: 3, Interesting

    ohayo ac
    anata wa baka desu
    arigatou gozaimasu!

    graspee

    PS- not sure with "desu" etc if the "u" counts, since it is written but not pronounced. Well, not pronounced in Tokyo anyway...

  41. Re:finally! by billbaggins · · Score: 3, Informative
    Also this: forget not
    that this lovely article
    omits to quote them.
    Now the critical
    haiku lines have been unearthed
    (thanks to i0lanthe)

    winter into spring
    brightly anticipated
    like Habeas SWE (tm)

    Each line has a head
    X-Habeas-SWE-n: where
    n is 1, 2, 3

    I can only guess
    That "SWE" is sounded out "swee"
    And "(tm)" sounds not.

    --
    "The best argument against democracy is a five minute chat with the average voter."
    --Winston Churchill
  42. Re:As requested by Anonymous+QWord · · Score: 3, Funny

    I could post a troll
    but how many syllables
    has goatse.cx?

    I'd include something
    regarding "Taco-snotting"
    in a verse or two.

    Where is this 'poopbot'
    when one needs him her or it
    as the case may be.

    You moderators
    who mod this down as a troll
    are indeed foolish.

    It's obviously
    my lame attempt at humor:
    'overratted' sure,

    perhaps 'redundant',
    'funny' if you find it so.
    Score minus one 'lame'.

    One can only be
    certain that moderation
    prediction will cause

    moderators to
    try to make you a liar.
    I hereby declare

    then, that this post will
    remain unmoderated
    with default plus one.

  43. Japanese art... by alistair · · Score: 4, Funny

    SKY have just won the rights to screen the World Origami Championships from Tokyo.

    Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View.

    (sorry, it's a slow day)

    1. Re:Japanese art... by gowen · · Score: 3, Funny
      SKY have just won the rights to screen the World Origami Championships from Tokyo.
      Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View.
      Very funny joke
      But Americans won't know
      What SKY TV is

      For more clarity
      Replace with US channel
      such as HBO
      --
      Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
    2. Re:Japanese art... by dominicarkwright · · Score: 4, Funny

      Funny Brit add-on:
      ITV Digital had
      the rights. But folded.

  44. Re:It's A Whole New Paradigm by Jonathunder · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Haiku in headers
    Message goes through filter
    Otherwise blocked.

    To license haiku
    Sender must certify
    Email is not spam.

    For an ISP
    Or individual user
    The license is free.

    Businesses and
    Bulk email senders will pay
    Habeas a fee.

    Clever idea
    But it must be in wide use
    To ever do much good.

    Is there a patent
    Pending or applied for
    On this email tool?

  45. Windows User's Lament (Re:Typical Slashdot Haiku) by PRickard · · Score: 3, Funny

    A file that big?
    It might be very useful.
    But now it is gone.

    Chaos reigns within.
    Reflect, repent, and reboot.
    Order shall return.

    Yesterday it worked
    Today it is not working
    Windows is like that.

    First snow, then silence.
    This thousand dollar screen dies
    so beautifully.

    With searching comes loss
    and the presence of absence:
    "My Novel.doc" not found.

    The Tao that is seen
    Is not the true Tao, until
    You bring fresh toner.

    Windows NT crashed.
    I am the Blue Screen of Death.
    No one hears your screams.

    Stay the patient course
    Of little worth is your ire
    The network is down

    A crash reduces
    your expensive computer
    to a simple stone.

    Three things are certain:
    Death, taxes, and lost data.
    Guess which has occurred.

    You step in the stream,
    but the water has moved on.
    This page is not here.

    We wish to hold the whole sky,
    But we never will.
    We are out of memory

    Serious error.
    All shortcuts have disappeared.
    Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

    (No, I didn't write this, but I thought it was worth using here. Original author unknown.)â

    --

    == Paul Rickard, Editor of The Microsoft Boycott Campaign ====

  46. Example of Tanka by rworne · · Score: 4, Funny

    (Excuse the English representation of Japanese)

    He nari totte
    ada to omou na
    morobi to yo
    bu-u to naritotte
    hotoke nari keri

    Translation(rough):
    When you fart
    do not feel embarrassed
    when you go *poot*
    you become like Budda

    --
    I tried every decent and legal way I could think of to resolve the issue w/the business before I rented the chicken suit
  47. On the haiku form by gripdamage · · Score: 5, Insightful

    haikus should contain
    wind blowing, leaves falling
    something about nature

    spam unnatural
    cut cows however you want
    you will not find it

    find the truth of it
    syllables not everything
    more to sky than stars

  48. Haiku to spam by MsWillow · · Score: 3, Funny

    Is it spam or not?
    Is the haiku in the text?
    Either way, it's spam

    --

    Lemon curry?
  49. Doubtful. by hyphz · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I am not quite sure
    This will do much good at all.
    Please let me explain:

    Personal use is free,
    But they charge firms to use it.
    Not all firms will pay.

    Most folks will prefer
    To get a thousand spam than
    To lose one real mail.

    If it's mail from firms
    That's more likely to get lost
    That is even worse:

    Mail folk WANT from firms
    Tends to be most important:
    Reciepts, upgrades, on..

    In the article
    They said mail lacking haiku
    Should not be destroyed;

    Yet having the mail
    Brought to your attention is
    Yes/No, no degree.

    Even if you store
    Suspect mail apart from clean
    In case real mail's lost,

    To check for that loss
    You must sort through all the spam
    Which defies the point.

    Also mentioned was
    Countries which don't have these laws
    Can spam just the same:

    So how long before
    They set up remailer bots
    That add the haiku?

    Even if the mail
    Didn't come from China when
    It was written first,

    The 'criminal' act -
    Adding haiku without leave -
    will have happened there.

    Spam filters should be
    Based on what mail to turn down,
    Not what to accept.

  50. oh great, haiku spam by peteshaw · · Score: 5, Funny

    are you lonely guy
    click here for the pheromones
    women will go crazy

    penis too little
    buck up, gullible person
    this lotion will help

    tired of debt? rejoice!
    now all your worries are gone
    (we are a non-profit)

    psssst! Remember me?
    I'm naked hot and horny
    click for all nude pics

    --
    www.avacal.com -- the home page of pete shaw
  51. Error 575: Clue not found by isomeme · · Score: 3, Funny

    Spam stopper based on
    copyright, SMTP
    ignorance. Yeah, right.

    --
    When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a skull.
  52. obligatory troll by bilbobuggins · · Score: 5, Funny

    GNU is for hippies
    FreeBSD is dying
    Score negative 1

  53. not a damn Hiaku, so sue me... by pnutjam · · Score: 3, Insightful

    The 2nd to last paragraph makes me lose hope of ever getting rid of spam.

    businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it.

    so this is really just a way for them to get in the loop and make some money off the spammers.
    ROTTEN!

  54. a haiku cycle by kbs · · Score: 4, Interesting


    problem with having
    semantic meaning haiku-
    transmittal can fail.

    haiku is supposed
    to have a season, color
    and an animal.

    these lines do not have
    the proper prerequisites
    it is not artful.

    so, that just defeats
    the reason one writes haiku-
    makes it mockery.

    int'resting to note,
    it says that the mail sender
    certifies the mail.

    violation for
    using the trademark wrongly
    is a simple suit.

    this will only work
    if the spammer is truthful;
    not hiding headers.

    it's interesting,
    that they specifically use
    the haiku format.

    possibilities
    are quite endless. what next?
    using sonnet form?

    -k

    --
    yours,
    kbs
  55. Learn you some Haiku by sielwolf · · Score: 4, Informative

    A common mistake among English speakers is that in English, haiku would still be composed of seventeen syllables. It is not.

    Here is a very good article on it (featuring my favorite haiku BTW).

    It comes down to the semantics of English versus Japanese. Under English there is a much more constrictive syntax, thus the meaning of a phrase can change just by resorting the words (Japanese, OTOH, is more resilient). Why is this important? 17 syllables in English can carry much more meaning than 17 syllables in Japanese.

    Most haiku authors agree that the rough mean in English should be 12 in three phrases. Of course that is just a starting point at best. One of Ezra Pound's better known haiku is 18 syllables in two lines. In the end haiku creation is not a rote process.

    --
    What is music when you despise all sound?
  56. Re:FM6 Haiku #1 by EvilAlien · · Score: 3, Funny

    Your Haiku is suck
    It makes baby Jesus cry
    But much less than Spam

    --
    perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5, (41*2), sqrt(7056), (unpack(c,H)-2), oct(115), 10)'
  57. Two most common haikus by Rui+del-Negro · · Score: 3, Funny

    Will probably be:

    millions satisfied,
    totally natural pill:
    enlarge your penis.


    (it even has a "natural" theme... sorta) and

    a special offer,
    a low interest mortgage.
    chance of a lifetime.


    RMN
    ~~~

  58. nice read by deft · · Score: 3, Insightful

    thankfully the posts
    usually long winded
    are much shorter now

    --

    There's nothing Intelligent about Intelligent Design.