Slashdot Mirror
Haiku vs Spam
Mark Cantrell was among several people who sent in a story about a company using "Haiku to Stop Spam. Essentially you use a copyrighted Haiku
to tag that a message meets criteria (1 Recipient, Pre-Existing Relationship,
etc) which then makes it a simple matter to filter the mail. I'm sure the spammers in China will laugh wildly as they forge the haiku. I challange comment posters to post only Haiku in this discussion ;)
China eh? Funny, I always thought Haiku was a Japanese art. . .
I know more than you drink.
this post is not bright
but at least a creative
request for flaimbait
~dijjnn
Haiku to stop spam based on a software filter will always fail
Moderation: Put your hand inside the puppet head!
posting in haiku
will leave much left unmentioned
but those are the rules
sometimes seventeen
syllables ain't enough to
express a complete
Face it, people are stupid, and the internet is the place where they all meet.
a haiku filter,
no collateral damage.
ah, spam free morning.
Drop by drop by drop
Sweet rain turns to killing flood
One mail, ten mails, spam.
It's everyone's favorite treat!
Please pass the mustard.
haiku as a tool
could you have predicted it?
I really doubt it
Pro-copyright news,
like shifting summer breezes,
fans Slashdot fires.
"The Crystal Wind is the Storm, and the Storm is Data, and the Data is Life"
The old pond; spammer
jumps in; the sound of water;
please, please, no bubbles.
"she says i'm lousy conversation. as if that's supposed to help."
Zen's sound is nothing
Power out, system silent
No power is Zen
CAN-CON 2019 - Ottawa's only book oriented Science Fiction Convention! October 18-20, Sheraton Hotel, Ottawa, Canada h
i am not poet
but this sounds cool to me now
spammers will have pain
retrorocket.o not found, launch anyway?
Your first line is off,
Two syllables are missing.
Do you know Haiku?
Anything that blocks
Spam from my machine is good.
How long will this work?
"...At the end of the day"..."when everyone goes home, you're stuck with yourself." RIP Layne Staley
"Fasten seatbelts tight
Your seat cushions float gently
Headsets five dollars."
I mod down anyone who uses M$ in their posts. I like to live on the edge.
Why not read thing first
before you post mindless trash
slashdot getting worse
Sa-wing that mallet
SPEWS can stop that spammy flood
Always LART that spam!
Come to the University of Mars! Classes starting soon!
A secret header, this haiku is copyright my message legal.
Enlarge your penis
Reregister your domain
Click to unsubscribe
Ha! I got a spam through!
~Idarubicin
This is a spam mail
please erase this from Inbox
Don't need viagra
this is for my friend
always so nice and helpful
no pyramid scheme
i hate christine hall
and her trafficmagnet site
send me endless spam
amazon dot com
stop sending me newsletters
I'm illiterate
.... um, i lost you after "0110100001101001".
Yuck. Mayo is much better.
Best Slashdot Co
Haiku: not chinese; From japan the art from japan the art form came; Baka is your name
Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
...the need for the "haiku rider" being that, evidently, in the mind of whoever came up with this scheme, someone is more likely to believe you if you point at a "poem" and say "that's COPYRIGHTED you hoser" than if you point at six lines of random legalese.
"The Crystal Wind is the Storm, and the Storm is Data, and the Data is Life"
if you need haiku, go here
(For those who don't know: haiku is three lines of five, seven, and five syllables, in that order.)
From nmhu.edu:
HAIKU - (high-coo)
The haiku is a three-line, seventeen syllable, unrhymed poem, which uses nature as its primary focus. The Haiku captures a moment in nature or in life and freezes it with disciplined language. Each reader then thaws the message, the picture that has been painted by words, and brings the scene to life.
17 syllable, 3 lines
Line 1 5 syllables
Line 2 7 syllables
Line 3 5 syllables
Come to the University of Mars! Classes starting soon!
retarded idea
sucks more cock than piazza
slashdot sinks lower
My english teacher
Finally vindicated
Haiku has a use
Casca
"Do YOU want to see
Iambic Pentameter
Lesbian action?"
Have I about got it? I suppose there'd be options to have all messages go through to a "suspicious" box, or to do some kind of SpamAssassin tagging for unmarked email, etc.
So, how exactly is this different from homebrew "whitelist only" systems? The only distinguishing mark is that the sender's acceptance of a legal contract involves addition of a copyrighted mark, in this case, a haiku poem in a header.
If I've got my own whitelist system, that returns a message saying "use this string 'Mtzlplck' and the message will go through, but by doing this you agree that you're not a spammer, and if you violate this trust, I'll sue you," then I should have the same protections as if they'd illegially used a copyrighted mark. Right?
Or am I missing something significant?
The
Five syllables first,
Then you move on to seven.
Five more to end it.
++ Say to Elrond "Hello.".
Elrond says "No.". Elrond gives you some lunch.
Spam in my mailbox
abuse acted on complaints
Joyous internet
utter rubbish
Try h t t p
colon slash slash habeas
dot com. More info.
"The Crystal Wind is the Storm, and the Storm is Data, and the Data is Life"
Damn, you guys are 'tards.
Learn to write proper haiku.
(I could teach my dog.)
- A.P.
"Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
oh yeah? Like sending me their favorite joke of the day or better yet, a fucking flash animation of some alien dancing to "Beat It"?
Why not just copy right your own email address and sue who you want?
Operator, give me the number for 911!
Maybe want to try this:
Paul Graham has a spam plan
Statistics don't lie?
I do not have a signature
Vogon poetry
Stopping spammers easily
Sue their asses now
wishes for new Haiku posts
a clever trolls dream
However such posts
make for technical chatter
an uncertainty
for what spin does a
poetic quantum qubit
return when observed
"They do not preach that their god will rouse them, a little before the Nuts work loose." Kipling, 'The Sons of Martha'
The three lines of a haiku should have 5, 7, and 5 syllables, respectively.
:)
Not necessarily, though I undestand the convention. A quick google search reveals: http://www.ahapoetry.com/keirule.htm which suggests that 5-7-5 might actually be *too many* english syllables for a "true" haiku experience.
But now I'm being defensive, and all I was really hoping was that a Flying Karamozov Brothers fan would recognize the poem.
Displaying limited brains
May be quoted thus:
Habeas in fact
means "let us have" and no more
and not "evidence"
They are thinking of
"writ of habeas corpus"
"Let's have the body"
Nitpick mode now off
Let those who frequent this board
Now resume to speak.
"The best argument against democracy is a five minute chat with the average voter."
--Winston Churchill
Trust no CEO
Venture capital sees spam
A proven model
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Why not just copy
right your own email address
and sue who you want?
Operator, give me the number for 911!
spam baked beans and spam
that ain't got much spam in it
but I don't like spam
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?
Take license to send
email to people I know?
Now, matters are worse.
"We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian
Signal noise ratio falling
Slashdot fades to black...
For those that would die defending it, Freedom
has a sweet taste that the protected will never know.
Wired has more details
Their story appeared today
It can be found here.
This month I did spend
Many hundreds of dollars
For BitCharG true love
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
haiku to fight spam
why not use spam assassin
i hear it's very good
mstyne: real name, no gimmicks
Oops! Misspelled haiku.
Pretend that it was satire.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
read the article
mystery revealed to you
poem placed in header
Who said Freedom was Fair?
Is this any different than copyrighting my e-mail address?
.COM craze?
Is this any different than copyrighting the expression "Hey Wowbagger, Open Says Me!" and requiring anybody who sends me an email to send that as part of the mail (along with the trademark)?
In short, what is this company's business model? How do they plan on making money on this idea? Or is this just a late entry into the
www.eFax.com are spammers
Graham's Plan for Spam
Bayesian Algorithm
Haiku poems are Japanese, not Chinese; shows what you know, Slashdot.
There is no sig, there is only Zuul.
From the article:
Habeas system
Subverted by big spammers
Who pay to use it
What do you mean they cut the power? How can they cut the power, man? They're animals!
There was a story on Yahoo /.ers jived,
About filtering spam with Haiku.
So in five-seven-five,
All the
But I thought I should try something new!
Good judgment comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgment.
i know not haiku
as my previous post proves
i go back to code
Things you think are in the Constitution, but are not.
i forgot to add the tags
made ass of myself
should read:
you missed the point
haiku is copyrighted
same one can be sent
spammers will get sued
if they do not comply
with copywright notice
I never said I was smart, I just said I was smarter than you
Stupid formatting. Should have been:
Haiku poems are
Japanese, not Chinese; shows
what you know, Slashdot.
There is no sig, there is only Zuul.
ah, poor slashdotter
you tried to correct spelling,
made grammar mistake
"I assumed blithely that there were no elves out there in the darkness"
Effective filters
Steal the light out of my day
Weep, I, for lost pr0n
Whose pills caused engorgement and swelling,
Three inches you'll grow,
or your money we'll sow,
Click here to find out where it's selling!
For those that would die defending it, Freedom
has a sweet taste that the protected will never know.
This is so stupid
and a complete waste of time.
Yet, we'll all do it.
To make up for one lacking.
Still not enforceable.
I spent a year in Iraq looking for WMD and all I found was this lousy sig.
Individuals and Internet service providers can license and use the mark for free, while businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it.
Great, so now my inbox gets filled with spam, but from companies that are paying Habeas to do so. I'll have to add the domains of those who purchase licenses to my filters... wait, isn't that what I'm doing now?
Sure, sue spammers for trademark infringement, copyright violations. Yes, since the RIAA, MPAA, and Microsoft are having so much success stamping out piracy in China, I'm sure this new scheme is going to stop the spammers cold! In fact let me call my broker so I can buy some Habeas stock!
-- If god wanted me to have a sig, he'd have given me a sense of humor.
Spam delenda est.
Omni haiku divisi
sunt in partes tres.
Like bodysnatchers,
Spam has crept into our lives
It will win, I think.
The mad scientist,
in the lab toils to create
square pigs for Hormel.
Spam, it does not reap,
neither doth it sow, I think,
it cunningly waits.
When left with the rest,
A wise man chose to call it
Spam: Sow Parts And Meat.
Glist'ning, shiny block,
too horrible to think from
where you came and how.
You must look at Spam
that does not correspond to
the knitting machine.
Spark'ling Spam that zaps
when eaten or dropped from high
drank from the charge pond.
Unlike the Eggy,
Spam not only 'can tongue', it
is canned tongue in steel.
Deep within the heart
of swine there cries out a voice
"Spam, my destiny."
Saw a therapist-
He made me wallow in Spam.
He was The Rapist.
Ran out of dead cows
to loft at the seiged city.
Used Spam, rest all died.
Ship loaded with Spam
runs aground on the dark reef.
Oil slick and fish kill.
Greasy loaf, digest.
Leave me better than you found-
Clog not arteries.
Truncated blue can,
how can you contain such vile
and slimy pig guts?
Who hast made thee, Spam?
Pink, glutinous, porcine parts
there in gelled repose.
Chopped and fried, layered
among other things pig-like,
surely a man's feast.
The Spam maps Pam's amps
hoping to find a way to
avoid the hot pan.
Spam spilled in the street,
greasy and slick from the can,
a twelve car pileup.
Faint whiff of the sea,
Greasy scent of things porcine,
I must open it.
Missles fly, "Nuke War!"
All is still, the earth cools down,
Roaches feast on Spam.
Sliced for sandwich,
formed as loaf, chopped for salad,
my Spam does not judge.
Once thought unclean, now
all pigs strive for a higher
plane of being - Spam.
By T. Goodfellow:
Conjugating Spam
spamo, spamas, spamatus
Boy I hate Latin.
Spam in my stocking
on December 25th
I was bad this year
50% off
an after-Christmas Spam sale
plenty to pick from
If Spam were outlawed
only outlaws would carry
guns made of pig meat
While on a cruise ship
"Spam overboard!" came the yell
No one seemed to care
Ma pig, to her son,
If you don't make something of
yourself, Hormel will.
I like Spam, I do
but I'd never admit it
to someone like you
Locked out of the house
on the doorstep shivering
Spam waits for its master
DaVinci drawing
to British scholars reveals
early Spam concepts
re-inventing Spam
I suggest we use soy beans
vegetarian
Like chicken and egg
does the can shape the Spam, or
does Spam shape the can?
Summer '59,
The rains came early, then dry
A great Spam vintage.
Sooner or later
zero or more cans of Spam
not pleasing itself
only Hormel can
make the manslaughter of pigs
Man's laughter of Spam
Hogs, none the wiser
board the bus to nirvana
destination: Spam
A pallet of Spam
could it be any worse than
Spam on the palette
Secret document
stolen by Chinese agents
Spam powered rockets
Proper etiquette
demands that Spam eaters
conceal agony
Attorneys or Spam
The only difference is
in the packaging
If Spam grew on trees
Newton's law calculations
would have been greasy
In a Spam glacier
a fully preserved mammoth
What a way to go
Tunneling inward
the electron microscope
atomic pig parts
pigs, each year with hope
in vain searching yellow pages
still no Spam heading
the stock broker
stuffing his porkfolio
going long on Spam
Anticipation
Spam in a ketchup bottle
s l o w l y s l i d i n g out.
Boy scout winter camp
Spam unevenly heated
half frozen; half burnt
Tiller's Rule: Never use a word in written form that you've only heard and never read. You will end up looking foolish.
So they will still sell to build e-mailers? In otherwords... spammers?
--Won't that be grand? Computers and the programs will start thinking and the people will stop. - Dr. Walter Gibbs
Clever filter trick
Getting spammed no more
Read email in peace
Thats way too funny
please mod the parent post up
correct format please
www.slightlycrewed.com - Because aren't we all?
From Nigeria
Someone owes you millions
too good to be true!
SlashDot article
Hyperlinks call to me but
afraid of GoatSex
Dear hated spammer,
You vandalise my hotmail.
Die with spike up ass!
SlashDot educates,
I thought Haiku Japanese,
Now I know better.
The gift of death metal does not smile on the good looking.
Picking nits Is Most Uncool And besides Haiku that is not
Hmm. So far as a I know 5-7-5 is the rule; in addition to be a true haiku it must have a nature theme; satirical 5-7-5 verses are known as senryu. Strict rules in the form of haiku made sense because the form originated as a set of standard openings (hokku) for renga. Renga is kind of a Japanese poetry geek game in whihc players take turns adding to the end of a poem according to complicated rules as to form and theme. Collections of hokku were made the way chess enthusiasts collect openings. Eventually, making hokku branched off into a separate literary activity.
People adapting the haiku form to other languages may well relax the 5-7-5 rule, because it doesn't really make sense in many other languages other than Japanese. Every language has its unique sound which dicttaes its poetic form. However, I'd argue that a true haiku canot be created in any language other Japanese, or perhaps some other language that flows similarly. The true sound of a Japanese 5-7-5 stanza cannot be captured in English. I expect that certain English forms, such as the limerick, don't fare well in Japanese. English is a stressed language, so all limericks share a kind of flow to them: da-DAdada-DAdada-DUM, da-DAdada-DAdada-DUM, da-DAdada-DUM, da-DAdada-DUM,da-DAdada-DAdada-DUM.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
Five-seven-and-five
Aren't nearly enough words
To explain oneself.
The Habeas mark contains a three-line haiku protected by copyright law. Six other lines contain the copyright and trademark notices and other trademark protected information.... If senders fail to meet the criteria, they could be sued for trademark and copyright infringement, Mitchell said.
Basically, they're using copyright law to replace a non-existant spam law. If your header contains their copyrighted haiku, then you're not sending spam and you're allowed through. If you use the haiku header and you're still spam, you're violating their rules and are sued for copyright infringement.
Cute strategy, especially the part where they piggyback on the geek affection for gratuitous haiku, but it's built upon the (frankly) naive idea that their subscribers can get everyone they want to get email from to play along. It basically turns your entire flow of email into an "opt-in" list. It's nice that you can sue spammers with forged headers for copyright infringement, but that's not what's going to happen; what will happen is you'll get a "unknown sender" folder chock-full of spam and a few useful e-mails from people who don't know or don't care how to use the haiku header, and you'll still have to sort through it by hand every day.
The spammers won't need to forge their headers, unless (somehow) this tactic gets adopted by the entire Internet, including Yahoo, Hotmail and AOL. The inconvenience will be great enough that no one will want to play along anyway.
After I finished my Computer and Systems Logic final exam I wrote a short Haiku (isn't that redundent) on the back
:)
So Now I Am Done
With Nothing To Do
Except To Write A Haiku
(I think I finished with a 4 in that course
I stole this Sig
spam comes from china
haiku heralds from japan
you missed the point
And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbour Isaiah 3:5
550 spammer
trying to mail my user
fuck you, it's summer
Click-through Haiku
you must comply to
this copyright agreement
I agree || Cancel
Hear the spammer cry Watch him twist and writhe in pain Roasting on a spit
I challenge the editors of Slashdot to quit posting crap like this. There is more going on in the world of SPAM prevention than the stupidity of adding Haikus to e-mail messages (great waste of bandwidth).
Maybe it passed by the editor's eyes that Apple has registered the trademark 'Junkyard' and has installed "sophisticated built-in junk mail filtering" into Mac OS X 10.2. Rumor is that Apple will be adding junk mail filtering software in their Mac OS X Server OS. Junkyard is the product name for this technology that is going to be added/tagged on to Mac OS X Server's version of Sendmail. If it is like Rendezvous, it will be open source and available to the Open Source Community.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
spam like summer wind
fluid moving unstoppable
inbox will blossom
blog |
Picked my nose instead
of going to a college.
Now I send out spam.
So am I to understand that this system depends on actual spammers respecting trademarks and copyrights, so that only the "good" mass mailers mark their mail this way? If this thing gets any traction, spammers will begin marking their spew just like Habeas does, and Habeas will go out of business trying to sue East Asia. Yeah. Right.
Edith Keeler Must Die
1 Recipient,
Pre-Existing Relation-
ship, et cetera
Fascism starts when the efficiency of the government becomes more important than the rights of the people.
Ha! I bet in Perl you could write it in eight.
[PowerPoint] is a tool for capitalist presentation
that spamassassin
is all too keen on murder
kills spam and non-spam
VKh
"California" firmy CorpNumber=C2461936
Fighting for honest email
Based in Delaware
http://kepler.ss.ca.gov/corpdata/ShowAllList?Quer
Fall like leaves from the tree that
is the Internet.
Under their weight the
Rock shatters and river halts
Slashdotting like spam?
ohayo ac
anata wa baka desu
arigatou gozaimasu!
graspee
PS- not sure with "desu" etc if the "u" counts, since it is written but not pronounced. Well, not pronounced in Tokyo anyway...
It is a bankrupt spammer technique.
SPAMMER X copies Haiku. SPAMMER X sends out 1 million copies of Haiku. Spammer has not violated copyright law 1 million times for a commercial purpose. It not only opens spammer up to attorney statutory damages and attorney fees on the copyright violations. This also becomes a way to "access" your in-box, so now the spammer is committing a computer crime to send you spam.
Fight Spammers!
Linux rules the world.
Microsoft is the devil.
There goes my kharma.
spam from china comes
point of article missed
go back, reread
And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbour Isaiah 3:5
a b c d e
f g h i j k l
m n o p q
[PowerPoint] is a tool for capitalist presentation
crisp October waves
around my heels and rising
dry leaves cover buds
**>>BELCH
What? Main screen turn on.
All your base are belong to
us, for great justice.
And the people shall be oppressed, every one by another, and every one by his neighbour Isaiah 3:5
this mail is not spam
it was sent to you because
you requested it
-ShelbyCobra
Living life in the right side of the s-plane
I have to change that, because the 'buds' imply Spring, clashing with the clearly-stated October in the first line...
crisp October waves
around my heels and rising
dry leaves cover grass
Mata ne!
**>>BELCH
Ah, but what about
Beowulf clusters of these?
Karma sinks like stone.
Spent all my mod points
Next story, haiku challenge
Taco is so cruel
"Consider yourself a member of a virtual corporation with Mr. Torvalds as your Chief Executive Officer." - Linux Advocac
My favorite haiku site:
http://www.smalltime.com/haiku/ (I particularly love the "Scrambled Haiku")
This site will give you,
Haiku served up randomly,
It is lots of fun.
________________________________________________
suwain_2
Hello boys and girls
There are only five days left
'Til Yak Shaving Day!
Hey kids, there's only 5 days left 'til Yak Shaving Day!
I could post a troll
but how many syllables
has goatse.cx?
I'd include something
regarding "Taco-snotting"
in a verse or two.
Where is this 'poopbot'
when one needs him her or it
as the case may be.
You moderators
who mod this down as a troll
are indeed foolish.
It's obviously
my lame attempt at humor:
'overratted' sure,
perhaps 'redundant',
'funny' if you find it so.
Score minus one 'lame'.
One can only be
certain that moderation
prediction will cause
moderators to
try to make you a liar.
I hereby declare
then, that this post will
remain unmoderated
with default plus one.
I get gratification in knowing that I helped rid a spammer of money. Right now, that's enough for me.
funny munging
The only way we will ever stop spam is if ISP's work together to perfect open source spam blocking software and share blacklists.
"Individuals and Internet service providers can license and use the mark for free, while businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it. "
1. Provide filtering service.
2. ??
3. Profit!
Pictures of children
To my family complete
Fourteen emails
the sender has verified permission from each recipient;
More photos to send
to whom shall I send them all?
Grandma has said no
the sender and each recipient share a pre-existing professional relationship;
Grandma accepts now
My photos pass the filter
Grandma runs an isp
each recipient is a friend or family member of the sender and the e-mail is not commercial.
pic of baby Zo
she is holding can of Coke
product endorsement?
managers...why god invented purgatory
SKY have just won the rights to screen the World Origami Championships from Tokyo.
Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View.
(sorry, it's a slow day)
spam is annoying
but can this magic haiku
stop the snakehead fish
"Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos." -Homer Simpson
See the story here. I'm guessing that their plans fell through.
A summer question:
Do you mispronounce satire?
His form is correct.
Liora
Thank you, Slashdot, for completely pissing off pretty much every reader with any amount of Japanese heritage. The haiku is a Japanese art form, not Chinese. Maybe you should have checked with the folks at Slashdot.jp before posting such a stupid, blatant error.
When I see your face
Emotion floods over me
Wait, I mean lotion.
That night we kissed,
I couldn't get over it
You gave me mono.
I hunger for you
Only you satisfy me
Make me some dinner.
You are like a dream
In the morning, I awake
And I forget you.
Your love was a gift
A fine, cherished present, you
Indian Giver!!!
(I wish I could claim to have written these. One of my old roommates came up with several pages of "Love Haikus".)
Just a small note to the original poster regarding his witty comment about spammers in China...
Spammers tend to be citizens of western countries for sure. They just exploit mis-configured, open Chinese, Korean, Indian and so on mailservers that allow one to freely relay messages through them. How would a random Chinese kid TRYING TO MAKE MONEY FAST by offering you life with 89% LESS BODY FAT and 48% LARGER PENIS FOR FREE know or care that minority of his target audience can potentially be fooled by marketing these things that match with values so important to most/many spoiled American/Western Europe people but that make no sense to his neighbours? Nope, it comes from inside, we (who have the privilege to live in welfare states, I'm from Finland by the way) shouldn't blame no-one but ourselves for this.
Go check Google with words like "spam chinese relay" and you'll get loads of matches like this which furher explains the problem.
I send you this file
in order to have advice.
See you later, thanks.
* Q
P.S. If you don't get this note, let me know and I'll write you another.
Haiku is about nature
Traditionally
-B
Ash and Hickory, straight-grained and true, make excellent bludgeons, dandy for the cudgeling of vegetarians.
CmdrTaco asks
Posters to write Haiku
Slashdot has gone mad.
Stephen King found dead
in his house today. Tragic
death at fifty-five.
Error: Your comment has too few characters per line
:-(
(so how am i suppossed to post a #$%#$% haiku!?!?)
= Error Haiku =
A Japanese academic, Kanta Matsuura, in the Economics Faculty reports:
In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft
error messages with their own Japanese haiku poetry, each only 17
syllables, 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second and 5 in
the third.
Your file so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
Error: Your comment has too few characters per line
--The Web site you seek; Cannot be located but; Countless more exist.
--Chaos reigns within; Reflect, repent, and reboot; Order shall return.
how to post haiku, and get it past the slashdot 'lameness filter'?
too few characters per line? but that's the way it is?
slashdot lameness filter killing three-line haiku - bah!
--ABORTED effort; Close all that you have worked on; You ask far too much.
--Windows NT crashed; I am the Blue Screen of Death; No one hears your screams.
Error: Your comment has too few ch3ar4acters per lineError: quickview comment has too few character42s per line...
--Yesterday it worked; Today it is not working; Windows is like that.
E2rror: Your comment has slashdot few24 characters per line - arrgh!
--First snow, then silence; This thousand dollar screen dies; So beautifully.
Error: Your comment9 has too few characters p5er line3 Error: Your4 comment ha8s too few2 characters per3 l2ine Error: Your comment9 ha3s too few characters per22 lin2e
--With searching comes loss;; And the presence of absence; "My Novel" not found.
Error: Your comment has too few characters per lineError: Your comment has too few characters per lineErr... aaarrrhhh!
--The Tao that is seen; Is not the true Tao-until; You bring fresh toner.
--Stay the patient course; Of little worth is your ire; The network is down.
--A crash reduces; Your expensive computer; To a simple stone.
-- Three things are certain; Death, taxes, and lost data; Guess which has occurred.
--You step in the stream; But the water has moved on; This page is not here.
Error: Your comment has too few characters per line -- @#%@$% slashdot...
--Out of memory; We wish to hold the whole sky; But we never will.
--The document you're seeking; Having been erased; Must now be retyped.
--Serious error; All shortcuts have disappeared; Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
Error: Your co1mment has3 too fred george per lin6eError: Your comment has too few characters per lineEr2ror: Your comment has tooh few characters per lineError: Your comment has too few characte5rs per lineError: Your comment has too few charact6ers per lineErr6r: Your comment has 5tooh few characters per line Error: Your comment has too few ugabuga the slashdot jungle p4er lineError: Your comment has too few characters per lineError: Your comment has too few charactcers per lineError: Your co7mment has too few c4haracters per lineError: Your comment has too few character8s per lineError: Your comment has too few c8haracters per lineError: Your comment has too few characters per lineError: Your comment has too few characters per line --
-- slashdot lameness filter is haiku-hostile.
regards - johnrpenner
the first line has five
the second line has seven
the last line has five
Murphy was an optimist.
(No, I didn't write this, but I thought it was worth using here. Original author unknown.)â
== Paul Rickard, Editor of The Microsoft Boycott Campaign ====
In spring of two thousand two.
I'll forget it soon.
Heh.
Need a Linux consultant in New Orleans?
Are` daijobu ka?
..
Nihongo Haiku desu yo!
nihon arimasu.
Are you feeling well?
this is japanese haiku!
its has japanese.
hows THAT mr. smarty pants
still not traditional though *grumble*
--Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum, non erravi pernicose!
This story was picked up by Yahoo, off the Reuters news service.
In paragraph 3, they describe the system as a way to separate the "wheat from the chafe"??? Perhaps they mean chafF.
Am I the only one noticing that as spell checkers become "better and better" errors like this are becoming more common. Some dink runs it through the spell checker and nobody ever bothers to look at the content, as long as it's all spelled right, and with the proper grammar.
"Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs." P.J. O'Rourke
Me chinese poet
me play joke on american fool
but I say rike foor
Live web cams
if we are going to get real, then we should follow the other rules for haikus. First, yeah they have to be nature themed, but also each line has to be it's own thought. No putting a whole sentence on 3 lines. Also, either the first line or the last line must be an "aha!" moment. Example from old haiku (when translated to english not following the 5-7-5 rule is best):
old pond
frog jumps in
splash
the first 2 lines are description lines of the situation, the third line is like the culmination, the aha line. (however the aha line can be at the beginning too)
Only dead fish swim with the stream...
Submission had rules for all comments submitted. They, I must defy.
Free unix account: freeshell.org
this is probably redundant, but I just finished the article and am too lazy to read the rest of the commentary;
""Commercial e-mailers who meet Habeas' strict definition of non-spam will be billed a penny per sent message for the warranting service, capped at $3,000 per month. The fee may seem steep for small-scale publishers and marketers, but some said it would be worth it to guarantee their product would actually arrive in subscribers' in-boxes."
But sounds like a service for charging for certain spam, and not allowing your competitors.
Walk with Music;
I think that basically everyone here knows that haiku are a Japanese are, not Chinese. The bit about Chinese spammers forging the haiku have nothing to do with that.
China doesn't respect international copyright laws. That's one of the reasons it got its own region in the DVD region code scheme; piracy is both rampant and completely legal there.
That's why they would be the ones most likely to forge the haiku; it would be legal there.
Yeah, it's probably redundant, but I figured I might be able to use my bonus to bump it a bit higher...
Blue can of steel
What promise do you hold?
Salt flesh so ripe
Can of metal, slick
Soft center, so cool, moistening
I yearn for your salt
Twist, pull the sharp lid
Jerks and cuts me deeply but
Spam, aah, my poultice
Silent, former pig
One communal awareness
Myriad pink bricks
Clad in metal, proud
No mere salt-curing for you
You are not bacon
And who dares mock Spam?
You? you? you are not worthy
Of one rich pink fleck
Like some spongy rock
A granite, my piece of Spam
In sunlight on my plate
Little slab of meat
In a wash of clear jelly
Now I heat the pan
Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?
In the cool morning
I fry up a slab of Spam
A dog barks next door
Pink tender morsel
Glistening with salty gel
What the hell is it?
Ears, snouts and innards
A homogeneous mass
Pass another slice
Old man seeks doctor
"I eat Spam daily", he says.
Angioplasty
Highly unnatural
The tortured shape of this "food"
A small pink coffin
Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian
Subscribers can see articles in the future? So what? Everyone gets to see them in the future.
"Get rid of your debts"! "University Degree"! Sounds US to me!
(Excuse the English representation of Japanese)
He nari totte
ada to omou na
morobi to yo
bu-u to naritotte
hotoke nari keri
Translation(rough):
When you fart
do not feel embarrassed
when you go *poot*
you become like Budda
I tried every decent and legal way I could think of to resolve the issue w/the business before I rented the chicken suit
I think shakespeare got it right with the English language, Iambic Pentameter flows REALLY well with the english language.
Not that I can ever remember it well enough to write it.
Kintanon
Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
I heard this one used in a mini poetry contest a couple of my linguist friends from HS were doing, the response translated to:
splash
the ripples spread
sated heron
or something like that. I thought it was a great comeback.
Kintanon
Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
Special humor game
I hope that you enjoy it
This is my first work
I am writing to you from a government agency in Nigeria. You were recommended to me as an excellent businessman. Please to offer your advice on my haiku
5 million bucks
Help
We need your western business knowledge
greedy fools you are
would auction own grandmother
on bloody eBay
in name of jesus
whom your honour so closely
resemble. thank you
All things in moderation; including moderation
haikus should contain
wind blowing, leaves falling
something about nature
spam unnatural
cut cows however you want
you will not find it
find the truth of it
syllables not everything
more to sky than stars
--entering Caffeinated Archaic Vogon mode--
/me backs away slowly...
Take me off the list, you lousy bastards.
Spam me, you did. Con me, try you. Asshole!
Shall I find you, stab you, roast your innards
Or bury you 'live in a deep dank hole?
Your list, your ugly list, unsubscribe me.
Do you REALLY think that I'm that stupid?
Your mail bites its thumb at me, insults me --
Enrages me, that's all it ever did.
Free money! Another bank scam! OH joy.
Penis enlargement! Herbal viagra!
Purge my records -- Better credit, OH boy!
Breast enhancement? Um, I don't wear a bra.
Go to Hell, you! Stop now, cease and desist!
Mail me no more. I want off your bloody list.
--leaving Caffeinated Archaic Vogon mode--
Um, it's not iambic pentameter I'm sure, and it probably breaks numerous other rules, but I think I'll stop now...
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
"signal noise ratio falling" = 8 syllables. listen to "ratio" being pronounced at Merriam-Webster Online.
MORTAR COMBAT!
Your message was here?
Perhaps, with a pile of spam,
I deleted it.
Surprised that no one
has thus far not yet mentioned
the SPAM-KU archive
~N
I am starting a new sub-fad called "Lowku". Here is an example:
F*ck Spammers
F*ck Spammers
Spammers All Die Die Die!
Table-ized A.I.
Is it spam or not?
Is the haiku in the text?
Either way, it's spam
Lemon curry?
Spam drifts like snowfall
Where is the mail from my friends?
Lost in the blizzard.
I pronounce it that way, but from most people I hear "ray-show."
I was debating how to write that line...
My two choices were:
- signal noise ratio falling
- signal noise ratio falls
I went with the former even though I knew better. Understand that my post was incorrect not because I lacked the proper understanding of haiku, but rather because I lacked the discipline to adhere to it.Perhaps this thread will result in a new form of art... A 5/8/5 poem. They will call it a Slashpii, and middle school english teachers will torture thier students with it for all eternity.
For those that would die defending it, Freedom
has a sweet taste that the protected will never know.
How you gentlemen!!
All your base belong to us.
You know what you doing.
Need a Linux consultant in New Orleans?
I am not quite sure
This will do much good at all.
Please let me explain:
Personal use is free,
But they charge firms to use it.
Not all firms will pay.
Most folks will prefer
To get a thousand spam than
To lose one real mail.
If it's mail from firms
That's more likely to get lost
That is even worse:
Mail folk WANT from firms
Tends to be most important:
Reciepts, upgrades, on..
In the article
They said mail lacking haiku
Should not be destroyed;
Yet having the mail
Brought to your attention is
Yes/No, no degree.
Even if you store
Suspect mail apart from clean
In case real mail's lost,
To check for that loss
You must sort through all the spam
Which defies the point.
Also mentioned was
Countries which don't have these laws
Can spam just the same:
So how long before
They set up remailer bots
That add the haiku?
Even if the mail
Didn't come from China when
It was written first,
The 'criminal' act -
Adding haiku without leave -
will have happened there.
Spam filters should be
Based on what mail to turn down,
Not what to accept.
are you lonely guy
click here for the pheromones
women will go crazy
penis too little
buck up, gullible person
this lotion will help
tired of debt? rejoice!
now all your worries are gone
(we are a non-profit)
psssst! Remember me?
I'm naked hot and horny
click for all nude pics
www.avacal.com -- the home page of pete shaw
Spam stopper based on
copyright, SMTP
ignorance. Yeah, right.
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a skull.
GNU is for hippies
FreeBSD is dying
Score negative 1
Don't you code haiku?
10 PRINT "Mr. Sketch is cool!"
20 GOTO 10
The 2nd to last paragraph makes me lose hope of ever getting rid of spam.
businesses and bulk e-mail companies will pay to use it.
so this is really just a way for them to get in the loop and make some money off the spammers.
ROTTEN!
Cheap storage VM.
Haiku to stop spam?
Oh! But what a dream this is!
Too bad it won't work.
Reading my mail
Checking for signal inside
see NO CARRIER
Waste time on Slashdot
Using extra brain power
To make bad poems
"Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives" should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
This filter does well
Until spammers turn critic
Hot Sluts and Fair Use
Rob Carlson
you cannot find them spammers are still shooting mail through open relays
include $sig;
1;
First Post not mine
For that AC I am not
Must keep karma high
problem with having
semantic meaning haiku-
transmittal can fail.
haiku is supposed
to have a season, color
and an animal.
these lines do not have
the proper prerequisites
it is not artful.
so, that just defeats
the reason one writes haiku-
makes it mockery.
int'resting to note,
it says that the mail sender
certifies the mail.
violation for
using the trademark wrongly
is a simple suit.
this will only work
if the spammer is truthful;
not hiding headers.
it's interesting,
that they specifically use
the haiku format.
possibilities
are quite endless. what next?
using sonnet form?
-k
yours,
kbs
Chill on unread post
One common haiku goes first
So filter filters.
Evil is the money of root.
Fools who think there are
"hidden portions of headers"
are foolish indeed
Oh yeah, that's real good
We definitely need more
Bad Haiku on Net
There once was a spammer from Nantucket...
I add here these lines
Because Slashdot wastes my time
Twenty-second delay
Haikus will not work
I'm using spamassassin
High rate of succes
A common mistake among English speakers is that in English, haiku would still be composed of seventeen syllables. It is not.
Here is a very good article on it (featuring my favorite haiku BTW).
It comes down to the semantics of English versus Japanese. Under English there is a much more constrictive syntax, thus the meaning of a phrase can change just by resorting the words (Japanese, OTOH, is more resilient). Why is this important? 17 syllables in English can carry much more meaning than 17 syllables in Japanese.
Most haiku authors agree that the rough mean in English should be 12 in three phrases. Of course that is just a starting point at best. One of Ezra Pound's better known haiku is 18 syllables in two lines. In the end haiku creation is not a rote process.
What is music when you despise all sound?
holy shit you guys
have you lost your mind today?
or are you stupid?
---
If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.
Windows error message haiku winners
Antitrust trial haiku winners
Telemarketer haiku winners
darkness grows outdoors,
your dinner cools, I waste a
moment of your time
-- Dave Demko
I play Nerd-Folk!
No more high tech job
so i leave bad industrie
writing haiku now
i haiku so bad
makes slashdot trolls kill themselves
world is better place
Things you think are in the Constitution, but are not.
slashdotters pain me.
Like birds understand the rocks,
they understand Haiku.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
These posts leave me cold
Most of them are not Haiku
No seasonal lines
Information wants to be anthropomorphized.
well said, however English can come close to the stanza, if the move the comma(pause) to a the correct place in the specific Haiku.
OTOH changing the rule of something so its like the original, is no more an original then not changing the rules and violating them.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Will probably be:
millions satisfied,
totally natural pill:
enlarge your penis.
(it even has a "natural" theme... sorta) and
a special offer,
a low interest mortgage.
chance of a lifetime.
RMN
~~~
thankfully the posts
usually long winded
are much shorter now
There's nothing Intelligent about Intelligent Design.
When you write haiku
Do not forget to include
season expression
The Geek's mind is set
To exceed limitations;
Grok the system thus.
They plan to sell their mark to bulk emailers so that they can 'legitimately' spam you. Explain again why this is any good to anyone under any circumstances?
Ok. Lets work on the definition of "spam". If I WANT to get it, I signed up for it, and I have an easy way to opt out later if I change my mind, it is NOT spam. Since those are the conditions under which a mass emailer can use this mark they are not selling it to bulk emailers to 'legitimately spam' me.
This is really not very hard to understand. I use email for business. It has to be out there for prospective clients to find, unfortunately that also makes it easy for spammers to find. At the same time I want to get email from mailing lists and newsletters I signed up for; I want to get announcements from my hosting services; I want to get the bulk email from my brother-in-law announcing the birth of my nephew. I also want to get that individual email from a prospective client who I don't even know about (so he could never be on a 'whitelist'). I certainly don't want a prospective client getting a bounced message telling him he has to send it again with a particular password in the subject line to get through my spam filter.
Disappointed, I
Can't make All Your Base haiku
Would have been funny.
--
"Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos." - Homer Simpson [1F10]
I am Mark Cantrell
No Slashdot account so far
I will mention this:
The Haiku Challenge
was from CommanderTaco
no "end Italics" (</i>)
Whoever stated that signature sizes should be limited to one hundred and twenty characters can just go ahead and kiss my
One: Do something strange
Two: Only question marks here
Three: always "Profit!"
Whoever stated that signature sizes should be limited to one hundred and twenty characters can just go ahead and kiss my
If it weren't for SPAM,
We could not feed our army.
-Nikita Kruschev
"Can't you see that everyone is buying station wagons?"
why not just 'rm -rf /bin/laden'?
Whoever stated that signature sizes should be limited to one hundred and twenty characters can just go ahead and kiss my