Engrish LOTR: The Two Towers Captions

Cyclometh writes "Someone has put together a set of screengrabs from an Asian bootleg of LOTR:TTT, which are totally hysterical. The subtitles are apparently the genuine article, which definitely should bring the phrase caveat emptor to mind for anyone who buys bootleg DVDs. For a definition of Engrish, see here (apparently it's a no-smorking zone.)"

Comments

Hehehe

[MattCohn.com]

"too long I wanted my sister"

Hehehe... sorry. I know, but still. That picture, with that caption, looking so serious, just cracks me up.

heh.

Hehe. Sorry.

Heh.

Re:hehehe

[jejones]

The best Engrish in a manual I've seen was for an ABIT Socket 7 motherboard manual. I don't have it at hand, so I can't point to the precise one, but it is pre-super Socket 7. In the section on installing RAM, it says "All you have to do is insert RAM, without help from God. Isn't it wonderful?"

Re:hehehe

[Anonymous Coward]

"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.

Re:hehehe

[PetWolverine]

Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.

You're not supposed to do that? I do that all the time, thought it was perfectly normal!

Re:Hehehe

[pyros]

your sister?! Bring your pussy face to my ass.

Re:hehehe

[pyros]

Not totally related, but still a funny message. I was working on some program for school and the compiler told me the "Constructor is private and has no friends." I was so dumbfounded by such an easy to read message, it took a minute to figure out what it meant.

Re:hehehe

[Anonymous Coward]

"Only my friends are allowed to touch my member."

- my C++ instructor.

He's Indian btw, and so am I.

Re:hehehe

[Thrakkerzog]

Where my dad worked, they were looking into getting some stamping machinery from a chinese production facility.

So, their American counterpart sent a salesman over.. and he was describing the machinery, showing them the manual. He got to the point where everyone noticed something funny in the manual; This piece of machinery had a "hydraulic sheep". The salesman explained that they meant "hydraulic ram"..

They went with someone else. :-)

I hate it when this happens!

[rune2]

http://home.online.no/~gremmem/engrish_ttt_caption s/00-20/two-towers-07.jpg Yes, no root for you!

Re:All your base...

[Anonymous Coward]

Eventually somebody's going to make reference to this little diddy..

IT'S YOU !!

hehehe

[spdycml]

I love engrish...I work at a computer shop and just about all the manuals for motherboards are in engrish.....even the installation cd's give error messages in engrish...."please insert by yourself the correct windows OS"...That is an actual message from an Amptron motherboard driver installation!

IMHO, Dave Barry's Article is much funnier

[Omkar]

Read it here.

All your Helm's Deep are belong....

[heldlikesound]

In The Third Age 3018

War was beginning.

Gandalf: What happen ?

Aragorn: Somebody set up us the bomb.

Legolas: We get signal.

Gandalf: What !

Aragorn: Palinteer turn on.

Gandalf: It's You !!

Saruman: How are you gentlemen !!

Saruman: All your Helm's Deep are belong to us.

Saruman: You are on the way to destruction.

Gandalf: What you say !!

Saruman: You have no chance to survive make your time.

Saruman: HA HA HA HA ....

Gandalf: Take off every 'orc' !!

Gandalf: You know what you doing.

Gandalf: Move 'orc'.

Gandalf: For great justice.

Now why did you have to go and post that here ???

[xeniten]

We finally have some piece and quiet around here from the last time someone posted a piece about engirsh. For a whole year it was nothing but all your base this, and make your time that.

Now it's going to be a whole year of "You should make fun" and "we are not oaks we are hobiks."

Arrrrghhh!

Re:Who knew Golem could admin.

[Anonymous Coward]

You're a geek, right? I'm a jock and I found this one interesting.

Re:All your base...

[zsmooth]

Slashdot doesn't validate [w3.org]. Taco: Comply with W3C specs!

Why should he comply with W3C specs when it's easier to just block referrals from w3.org?

I got the following unexpected response when trying to retrieve :

403 Forbidden

Please make sure you have entered the URI correctly.

Dead you may not kill them

[use_compress]

Dead you may not kill them

With lines like this, they could have just reused Yoda's CGI character instead of creating Gollum's.

BTW, Here's a great review of LoTR 2.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Secret Diaries, much funnier

[Anonymous Coward]

The Secret Diaries are *much* funnier.

"Day Four:

Stuck on mountain with Hobbits. Boromir really annoying.
Not King yet.

Day Six:
Orcs killed: none. Disappointing. Stubble update: I look rugged and manly. Yes!
Keep wanting to drop-kick Gimli. Holding myself back.
Still not King.

Re:KEKEKEKE!!!!111!!1

[Anonymous Coward]

Please don't breed.

Growing up with Engrish

[thefinite]

Besides laughing myself unconscious reading Engrish.com, I was reminded of how frustrated I was as a kid playing the original Metal Gear, but being unable to get past the first stupid guard. He kept saying "I feel asleep", after which I would make a break for it and get caught. Little did I know, he meant to say, "I fell asleep". I was supposed to run past him before he said it. Stupid Engrish. All your base are belong to us, indeed.

Nope, lemonlye's slashparody

[Namarrgon]

Hilarious :-)

Or this FotR parody.

Smeagol/Yoda

[nursedave]

Is it just me, or does Smeagol look just a trifle Yodish?
Great.... More Smeabrews, just what Hollywood needs.

He really does look like an evil Yoda.... In one caption, he even says, "dead you may not kill them."
Bizarre.

Re:Maybe I'm not getting this...

[grammar nazi]

The grammar nazi is appalled!!

threat

[Xpilot]

Sounds like how you would threaten an evil sysadmin:

RELEASE HIM OR I SHALL CUT YOU OFF ROOT!

I guess Gollum was a Unix sysadmin back in the day. Which would explain why he's a shruken, miserable little creature who hates sunlight.

I'm Arogon son of Alfred

[aralin]

I'm Arogon son of Alfred
My name is Smeedle
Gibley lower your axe
Gandolf foogray that was my name
Shadol fax is the lord of all horses
If I go Filden dies
You must lead people to the Humsdeed
I bring word of Elfron of Riven Death

And the one that caputures the spirit best:

Toast me! I say you got to toast me!

Re:Hysterical?

[geekoid]

don't forget A href="http://home.online.no/~gremmem/engrish_ttt_c aptions/20-40.htm">My name Smeedle" which is damn funny with that picture.

Re:Now why did you have to go and post that here ?

[DavidpFitz]

We finally have some piece and quiet

Been practising your Engrish, have you? You seem to have mastered it! :)

Best subtitle

[XNormal]

"Fire advise google"