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What Should I Do With My Life?
Given all that, I figured What Should I Do With My Life? was pretty much written for me. The book tells the true stories of dozens of people who made hard decisions and gave up careers, educations, and lifestyles in order to give themselves reasons to get up every morning, and maybe to find true happiness. In researching the book, Po Bronson interviewed nearly a thousand people all over the US, and got to know some of them very well. He intertwines their stories with his own personal tale, and often pauses between stories to reflect on everything he saw and learned while writing the book.
So how's the book? Good and bad.
I had hoped to distill some great truth from these stories -- to leave with a clear sense of the changes I have to make, and with the resolve to make them. No dice. To be fair, Bronson never promises any such thing; in fact, he promises quite the opposite. And rightfully so. There are certainly no silver bullets here.
But my real problem with What Should I Do With My Life? is that I couldn't identify with so many of its subjects, and eventually that turned me off. It felt like four out of five people had law degrees or worked in finance or politics. Very few were geeks, or even grunt-level office 9-to-5'ers. In his introduction Bronson says "the people in this book are ordinary people," but it didn't feel that way. An ex-doctor whose father was a famous cardiologist; a Hollywood production executive; an established Hollywood screenwriter; CFOs, CEOs; guys that sold startups for millions. A PhD marine biologist who "quit and became a dentist." Wowie.
Even Bronson's generalizations alienated me. The "we" that define ourselves by our salary or possessions or career achievements -- that's not my "we." I think (hope?) Bronson has spent so much time in Silicon Valley culture that he's over-projecting. Maybe I'm not ambitious enough, but I've never been a careerist and neither have my friends. So when Bronson steps back so say we need to fight the urge to justify ourselves by our status, I think "who's 'we'? I never had that urge." I've never had anything to prove to anyone but myself; yet I still feel trapped by some of the life/career decisions I've made.
Now, the book doesn't focus solely on outstanding people. It's just that once I noticed all the med school and law degrees and sold-her-third-startup, I couldn't not notice them anymore, and I'd say to myself "maybe this book isn't for me after all. I'm nothing like these people."
But enough bitching. There's some great stuff in the book as well and some stories really connected with me: the attorney turned trucker; the husband/wife team that bought a tree farm; the would-be Olympic athlete who had to give it up for motherhood; and more. Better yet, some concepts stayed with me. For instance, the this-should-be-obvious concept that local cultures shape expectations and self-worth differently. "In Los Angeles, if you say you're a musician, you're asked ... are you, or will you be, successful? In New Orleans, if you say you're a musician, then people accept that you're a musician, even if you jam one night a week at some dive with no audience." Nice.
My favorite concept from this book is one of Bronson's closing points: the reminder that all you get is a glimmer. The rest is all you and your willingness to to see where that glimmer takes you. I've lived this -- it's true in the creation of good software, it's true in making records, it's true in any creative pursuit. Eureka moments rarely happen, so don't wait around for one.
I found myself flying through this book -- it's written in a nice, casual tone and it's an easy read. But reading quickly was a mistake. I suggest reading a chapter or two at a time, then putting the book down to digest it. Otherwise it's too easy for people and stories to blur together or be forgotten entirely. Maybe that's why the online excerpts were so compelling -- I was left with 2 pages to think about instead of 75.
Okay, so Po Bronson didn't provide the answers to all my problems. But he got me to frame my "what am I doing to do" question better, and he got me to take it seriously. That's worth $15 right there. It's also uplifting to read about people who have found their bliss. There is hope!
I'll lend this book to a lot of friends and I'll probably buy copies for a few as well. It's worth a read.
Whether or not you buy the book, I strongly recommend reading the aforementioned NPR interview and excerpted chapter. Those alone address some great points and will get you thinking.
You can purchase What Should I Do With My Life? from bn.com. Slashdot welcomes readers' book reviews -- to see your own review here, read the book review guidelines, then visit the submission page. You may also want to visit Po Bronson homepage: pobronson.com."
Become a laid off programmer who can't find a fulltime job like most of us! I know, I know, it's sounds a little crazy but besides being broke, depressed and out of energy you'll love it!
Not a flame. Sincerely.
Good review, but I'm curious: how do you give up an "education?" I mean, you can decide not to continue with an education, but the theory is (I hope) that once you have it, education sorta -- more or less -- sticks. Although this might not apply if you're an idiot.
Give it a meaning. Do not search for one, give one, create a meaning.
Never forget: You are the center of your world. You are the reason for your decisions.
Where can I get one?
Modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise. - William Shakespeare
An ex-doctor whose father was a famous cardiologist; a Hollywood production executive; an established Hollywood screenwriter; CFOs, CEOs; guys that sold startups for millions. A PhD marine biologist who "quit and became a dentist." Wowie.
Some of the local papers run these stories too--about people who cashed in on the "hectic dot com lifestyle" to run a bed and breakfast or some sort. Makes it a lot easier to "get out of the rat race" when you have a nice, fat bank account to fall back on.
I am much more impressed, as you note, with those who are not independently wealthy, but chunk the opportunity to become so in order to follow their dreams. Like, say, the teacher I married.
And no, I don't have a problem with those pursuing wealth above all else either...as long as they are fulfilled its their own choice to make.
I pulled a jack move to cop this sig
I've rarely seen a career advice book that had any useful advice, and this sounds as if it fits into that pile.
I've changed directions several times in my life, and in most cases it's been a leap up (or at least not a leap back). The main thing is finding what you like to do, what you want to achieve, and a way to do it legally while making money. Sure there's compromises, stretches, and training, but no one promised life would be easy.
I expect to see more and more books on Careers with this economy. Look soon for a book where some author explains or studies people who left IT for other careers.
"The Sage treasures Unity and measures all things by it" - Lao Tzu
Do what you love. No one wants to breathe their last with a sigh of wasted days. Live life fully daily. Life's too short to waste an entire day with a hangover. I have never heard anyone lament on their deathbed "I never should have bought that nice stereo".
I love programming, cold weather and storms. I don't have time for dread. Life is meant to be lived and I'm all over it. BANZAI!!!
If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem
I haven't read the book reviewed, but people need to read classical text, like Aristotle, Nietsche, I-ching, Veda's, Mahabarahta, and countless other philosophical text. The struggle for identity is not static and people need to realize this. Who you are does not derive from what you do. What you do is a part of who you are, but it is not equal. There are those who like to play "waiting for gadot" and others who live in "six characters in search of an author." Still some are befuddled like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. Read people, and it will open your eyes.
To buy a book to realize when it's time to move on from your job, and follow your dreams? Magazines like "Reader's Digest" etc are full of stories about individuals who have left a depressing/draining job to find themselves. Of course, these stories never mention the people that try this, and end up broke back living with their parents, etc.
If your job really, truly, sucks 100% of the time, you should know when to move on. How you go about moving on really depends on the job you have, and the job/etc you want. For most people, a job is only part of life, and if it's burning you out at some point you can take a holiday, or focus more on family etc or something else that makes you happy outside of the workplace.
Almost nobody enjoys their job 100% of the time, it's how you manage with the rest of your life that counts.
> I am "successful" in my career. But I've found my day job unfulfilling for years, and as a
>musician I often wonder if I should follow my heart elsewhere.
Let me offer you the other side of the coin.
I was a musician since I was a little kid. I have a music degree from a big-name private music school. Playing was, and is, something that I very much enjoy.
I've also programmed as a hobby since I was a kid, since starting out on a Trash-80. Computers were something that interested me, but I never considered making a career out of it.
In 1996, I was a year out of college. I was living on a friend's couch, and eating cold cereal and canned beans three meals a day. I had *no* money, and no real prospects for making any.
A friend of a friend of a friend was running a porn site, and the business had grown to the point where he needed help. He offered me a job, part time, sorting pictures and answering customer email. Over time, I learned html, then perl, then server administration, blah blah blah.
Fast-forward seven years. I run my own consultancy. I work in my bathrobe most days. I eat cold cereal and canned beans (sometimes) because I happen to like them, not because this week's food budget is $4. I still play, but only for fun. Life is good.
Art is great, but be prepared to be a pauper if you're going to try to make a living at it. If you can deal with complete and utter poverty, go for it. For me, it just wasn't worth it.
Even Bronson's generalizations alienated me. The "we" that define ourselves by our salary or possessions or career achievements
That probably says a lot about why he wrote the book. He probably over-generalized to everyone, but make no mistake: that's American society in a nutshell (i.e. - most people). It's these people who spend their lives never really thinking about where they're going. "I guess I'll go to college" "I guess this will be my career" "I guess I'll get married". People for the most part just never really THINK about their lives, their place in the world, about much of ANYTHING. I guess for some of us we tend to take for granted that you just sit idle some time to think about things, but it's sort of a shocker to a lot of people who are too busy selling their soul to a corporation for some menial gain in their trivial materialistic lives.
I'd say become a freelance consultant.
I worked for myself for a while. I spent a lot of
time with my youngest boy. I worked out of the house and was Mr. Mom for a while. It was cool, you
can't replace the time I had off with anything. I didn't have any worries then, no house, I rented from my in-laws. Now I've got a mortgate and an equity loan and bills bills bills. I've got to work. I hope to be able to design a widget on my own time that would allow me to retire early.. other than that my house will be paid off when I'm 65, Maybe earlier if I sneak in an extra payment per year.
What's all this whining about fulfilment anyway.
I work because I have a family and obligations.
I use my family to benchmark my life, not my job.
This also extends to the workplace environment as well. The "fit" you have in your work environment has a tremendous influence on your productivity and overall happiness with a career. This is in part due to the influence of your surroundings ("supportive" vs. "pressure cooker").
But, in some cases, you can also control a lot of this by attitude (or perception) as well. A good example of this is worrying about job status or promotions as opposed to the actual goal of the work. A lack of focus on the true task at hand and fretting about things out of your control can have a negative impact on your work and general well being.
Po Bronson used to write books about over-educated white people in Silicon Valley. Now - the ultimate question has been answered by more over-educated multi-degreed white people on what they should do with their lives. That a book like this even gets published blows my mind except the obviously self-indulged have an urge to read about the other 2 percent of people in the world just like them.
The stories are so snore-inducing I could barely keep my eyes from jumping and skimming paragraphs ahead to locate something of interest. How many times did my head hit the pages? I started to wonder if the "kinder, gentler Po Bronson" with his soft-spoken voice and new age-y happy talk might have intended the book as a subliminal Deepak Chopra-esque meditation vehicle of some sort. Your eyes are getting heavy, you find yourself drifting off....
At the end I wouldn't have given you a plug nickel for anyone in the book and some of them were more repugnant than others in their whiny-ness and cluelessness. Like the one who went to medical school and decided to drop out after two months because she "didn't like sick people" like what the hell, hadn't she ever BEEN to a Doctor before? Didn't she KNOW that's what they do?
The book is filled with the stories of people who live within a 300 mile radius of San Francisco. Just about everyone is from the area from LA to Seattle with only a few out of this main drag as filler (or to make the book seem more serious). I used to live in this area. Insufferable individuals, who are overly impressed with themselves like the ones in this book, are why I don't live there any longer.
Most impressed with himself is the author, Po Bronson, who liberally infuses the book with cutaways into his own miraculous existence. Although he takes the blame for ruining his first marriage by cheating on his wife, he also calls her a West Coast Feminist and contrasts that with his new wife, who apparently stays much more in her place and defers to Po and let's him feel all big and strong and manly. In fact there are several thinly veiled insults to his former wife (who does not have a name) which are supremely tacky since she was with him for 12 years and pretty much encouraged and fostered his entire writing career. Way to go, Po! And perhaps a warning - look for the wolf in sheep's clothing wife number two.
Not to mention that after somewhat accidentally ending up a father, Po goes on to slam his former ideals about not wanting children. Then he slams all people who choose NOT to breed as doing it out of FEAR. He thinks it takes courage to procreate and raise children. He says, it's not that big a deal, really. Well, NOT IF YOU ARE A MAN.
What world does this guy live in? He crows about HONESTY yet I see little in this book. This is like those supposed "reality" TV shows where you go to a lush island and try to "survive" knowing there is a crew chuckwagon and medical staff standing two feet from the camera in case you stub your toe.
This is a book for the RATIONALIZATION GENERATION. The same kids he wrote about in Silicon Valley who need to pat themselves on the back and tell themselves that it's ok they lost a billion dollars. This is a book for the privelaged who need validation. Or as Bronson calls them "people with more choices" than "the working class". Right. You mean the people who actually WORK and don't cry in Starbucks about what LOSERS they are.
The people profiled in this book didn't take any REAL risks. In fact, most of them didn't do anything but change jobs here and there or think about changing a job or consider switching enterprises within their same field. There are only a scant few who chuck it all to weave baskets (in this case sell trees, farm catfish, become a long-haul trucker) and truthfully they are the only stories that have a modicum of impact. The rest are the kind of people you would move away from quickly at a cocktail party.
And Bronson himself is the one you'd want to beat feet from the fastest. He truly needs to GET OVER HIMSELF. Maybe that should be his next book, "What should I do to GET OVER MYSELF."
Don't matter what anybody tells you, you need to subsist somehow, on whatever income you have, so unless you can take on part-time work, and willing to reduce the cost of your living, knee-jerk shifts in life are always a bad idea. there's nothing to stop you from kicking off a dope band while you're working. hell use your hard earned money to record your own album start a label, do a zine. its a bit daft to chuck in a means of living to chase after some half-baked dream werd. think living with parents, think creditors calling think no d0pe ass ride
I wish I had some mod points for you.
Modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise. - William Shakespeare
I cut down trees, I wear High-heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I was a girlie, just like my dear Papaaaaaaaa!
Somebody had to do it.
You think that I'm crazy, you should see this guy!
I think he might be talking about this:
Imagine a Java coder. Took courses exclusively in Java, aimed at knowing every minute subchunk of the API. "Graduates" from his trade school. Knows nothing of the larger art/science/cruft of computer science. Couple of years into the workforce, she wants to quit coding Java.
She's giving up an education. I would submit that it was a el crapola education to begin with, but she's still giving it up.
I happen to believe that GOOD educations stick around through general conceptualizations, rather than rote memorization, but that's gotta be drifting, if not steaming, OT.
ceci n'est pas un sig.
I think there is a simple route cause for many people's unhappiness with their careers - they are using other people's criteria for what "successful" means.
When I was in my early twenties, just after I left university, I was full of ambition, and was going to rule the world, and be a "success". I met a guy in his 30s at a party who was a gardener. He had a crappy rented flat and was paid next to nothing tending people's gardens. I thought, what a loser, when I'm his age I'm going to be successful and rich! And I told him as much. He looked me straight in the eye and told me he was the most successful person he knew. He spent all day outside doing a job he loved, he had little stress and didn't feel the need to have loads of stuff or a big house. And he told me I didn't understand myself yet. I remember thinking he was loser and a jerk, and knowing what I was like then I expect that came across quite clearly.
Now I'm older I can imagine that conversation, and I cringe at who I was then. I was the jerk, and he was right - he was a success and I didn't know what I wanted. Thankfully I do now, and I'm very happy doing a job I love.
But I still have friends who are really "successful" but really unhappy. I told one recently that he should give up his (very "successful") career in insurance and become an interior decorator (which is what he had always wanted to do when he was younger). His response was "are you nuts? I couldn't possibly do that. Everyone would think I was crazy."
Ho hum.
"You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." -- Albert Einstein
We only live once (that we know of) so make the most of it. If you live right, once is enough.
:)
I do anything I want to, if it interests me. Why? Because I can. I've been with OSHA, I've been a race car driver, I've been a writer, worked in a tattoo shop, network engineer, among other things.
Not for money or fame, I don't care about that, I did it because I wanted to. And I am richer (not in terms of wealth) for it. The experiences will last a lifetime, far beyond the thrill of a new computer or a new kernel upgrade.
Life finds a way to working itself out. I've never been homeless, even though I was jobless for a year. Even then, life had something to offer, if we would only learn from it.
As an aside, of all the jobs I've held, the illegal ones were most fun
So rise up, all ye lost ones, as one, we'll claw the clouds.
Sometimes doing what you love for income does not work. I love flying, and regulary use MS Flight Simulator 2002. And I also fly the real thing, a rented Cessna 172, and am slowly earning my private pilot licence. I love to fly, but my income is consulting and work I get through the S corp. So I so not earn through my passion, but I am free enough that when I want to fly on a Wednesday morning, I do so without having to "take off work" or "call in sick". I just don't book a selling appointment Wed. morning and I'm free as a bird. And having an uncle in the U.K. and some family in Italy too I know many other contries allow people to incorperate. But in the USA the benefits you get for being a "partner" of the Governemnt are amazing (as someone who might create jobs and also spends a lot on inventory, supplies, etc). Anyway, good luck!
I am now going through the change process that
.
is being talked about.
I was a sysadmin and Oracle DBA until Oct, 2001
when I got laid off as a contractor at Boeing.
This is just as well because I saw the work ease
up even before 9/11. It really should have happened
sooner. .
Starting in about 1994 to 1995, I took up the
hobby of sewing my own clothes. I found it
exteremely relaxing and therapeutic. I could
come in with a headache after a stressful day
at work. Six hours of sewing later, the headache
would be gone and I would be relaxed.
Now that I am trying to make a business out of it,
I have found myself less stressed.
Granted, the income is not yet as great as that
of a sysadmin/oracle dba.
But there is also no pager/cell phone to wake
me at 2 am or ruin a Christmas dinner. I have
far fewer headaches.
I am making something that someone can hold in
their hands. Some of the things I make can be
considered heirlooms.
Mark
Cleara
First, let me apologize in advance for the rant that will follow. It is kind of hard to say this stuff without sounding like an elitist f*ckwad. I do not intend to come off this way. And I tie this into the current topic at the end, so bear with me. Without further ado...
...er, [insert some tv actress' name here]. I also noticed that with one exception, the more television a friend of mine watched, the more likely they were to favor a war in Iraq. I found that particularly troubling.
...well what do you think you'd be doing if it was on?
In 1996 I doused my television with lighter fluid and did you-know-what. I really only expected to not be chained to it anymore but its effects got a lot more profound than that; around 2001 I actually began to have thoughts of my own that I couldn't trace to any marketing effort.
Further, we're social things, we humans. We float ideas we develop past them and find out what sticks and what doesn't and respond accordingly. But who are our "friends" these days? Friends, that's who. Granted, not entirely. And for some more than others. But who do you see more of -- your flesh-and-blood friends or actors? The question is rhetorical so answer honestly after thinking about it for a few minutes.
I bring this last point up because with this whole Iraq war looming, for example, I realized I was forming my own opinions instead of abrogating this responsibility to the television. I no longer had a group of electronic friends that would keep my thinking corraled within the bounds of "acceptable," whether that be Dan Rather or
Does this seems silly? Like I'm off the deep end? How many of your ideas of right and wrong coincide with how television would present it? Is this a coincidence? Is it also a coincidence that our media-drenched society is also significantly out of touch with the entire rest of the world and observably so (if you bother to look, anyway).
To borrow a page from Adbusters, go sit in front of your TV but don't turn it on. Sit there for an hour looking at it. If the first idea through your head is "that's nonsense, I'm not going to do nothing for a whole hour"
So to answer the question of this post, "What Should [You] Do With Your Life?" I don't know. That's up to you. But don't get the answer from a book, regardless of how well it is written. If you're looking to a book to answer that question for you, I would suggest you have bigger issues.
Thanks for reading this far.
My
Limekiller
Read What Color is your Parachute, this is a great book! I was working at a Kinko's(a certain amount of irony there), anyway a guy would come in all of the time get resumes copied. After he had spent weeks fruitlessly jobhunting, I lent him a copy of this book, a couple weeks later he returned it and told me he had decided to start his own business, and that the book had really helped him. It's a good read, focusing on both how to get a job, and make sure that the job you get is a job you'll want to keep.
My other sig is extremely clever...
I believe that many people are truly stuck in their current jobs because they don't have the savings or support to make the leap. Hence, most of the success stories you read are about those people who sold their company, or had a high income previously, simply because those are the people who were able to make the leap.
I've been coding professionally for ten years. I am "successful" in my career. But I've found my day job unfulfilling for years, and as a musician I often wonder if I should follow my heart elsewhere. I imagine I'm not the only Slashdot reader who fits this description."
I have 3 months until I no longer have to deal with IT as a career again. Everytime I see these half-ass Tech School commercials on the local cable, I titter with dementia. "A fulfilling career in which you can go places!" What-fucking-ever. 9 years after stupidly volunteering for training on AIX, I am getting my terminal degree and heading to the promised land -- academia -- to do what I have always dream of.
It is difficult to express how jaded I am with the tech industry and to be honest my feelings really have little to do with my peers (who work their asses off and get no credit) but with PHBs and, most of all, users. Just before typing this post, I got off the phone with a woman who bypassed the helpdesk and sussed out (somehow) that I was the person responsible for a part of our web services platform. Of course, the problem had nothing to do with what I was responsible for. She was using an old version of IE which didn't support something in the interface. If she had called the helpdesk, she would have been told the same thing by a person who would have known instantly what the problem was. It took me 30 minutes (read $15 of taxpayer money) to figure this out simply because I am not familiar with the problem. Why did she bypass the helpdesk? Well, they cut a ticket on each call and track users and their recurring problems. In other words, they do their jobs. I asked why this was a problem. "They don't like to talk to me." A quick search shows hundreds of calls in the past year from this person. I told her that my help was a one time shot and she needed to call the helpdesk from now on. She got all pissed and said "No. Now I have a man on the inside." Fuck that. Found her supervisor and put her ass on notice. I am tired of being a bitch to people who couldn't fuck their way out of a wet paper bag.
I know. My mistake was helping her in the first place, but do you just stomp past the reception desk at the emergency room and demand that a doctor fix your hangnail? No.
So I am going to do something interesting that doesn't pay shit and is low-tech and let's me hide for 3 months of the year -- college professor.
Comparing it to Windows will be a moot point, since El Dorado is going to have a 40% larger code base than XP.
I seem to have touched a raw nerve. Sorry!
You thought he was a jerk, and with good reason: He was telling you his own view of what success is.
No he wasn't. He didn't tell me what "successful" meant, only that, according to his own criteria for success, he was successful, and screw what anyone else thought. He also told me that I didn't understand myself, and he was right about that.
The whole point of my post was that, you have to make your own criteria for success. Don't get confused by what your co-workers, or your mom, or your friends think.
Ah Yes, the 70s return. I remember reading the "Bluing of America" in the New Republic or someplace. The gist was: If the children of the privileged are going to drop out and ponder their navels then many of the children of the blue-collared are going work hard in school and life and fill the vacancies they leave (and vote Republican--Alarm, Alarm). That was me. Rising out of nowhere; Getting a good technical education; Making a more than decent living; Finding love above my appointed station; Having joy in my children (who now wryly ponder their navels, consider dropping out, and vote Democratic--Alarm, Alarm). I never once asked, "Is this all meaningful?" or even missed asking the question. The exuberance of the journey up was enough.
He was a successful low-earning gardener who never tries to doo anything better.
I'm a successful slacker who lives in my mom's basement. Hopefully I wont do too well at my job interview next week, or I wont even have that.
-- 'The' Lord and Master Bitman On High, Master Of All
I think this is the answer, for the best and the brightest (who can switch to something completely new and succeed at it... because face it, if you fail to make a living in your chosen field, you won't be happy).
Oh, and if you even *know* what you love... believe it or not, that's pretty damned hard for most people. I started coding because I needed some money, not because I'd enjoyed my coding experiences so far. Now that I know what I'm doing, I get a lot of respect, I successfully solve most of the problems I tackle, and I get to work on problems that I feel keep my brain sharp. THAT'S what I'm happy with.
I have plenty of friends who are in grad school in various subjects, who are seriously worried that they won't be happy in their chosen fields, since they aren't fulfilled in their studies. Hey, why would they be? They're still just learning, which can feel kind of hollow after a while because you aren't accomplishing anything that affects the "real world".
Besides, where do "dreams" come from? It's what we *think* will make us happy. Most people don't really have a clue what will make them happy, and they don't realize that until they've fought for 30 years to achieve the dream, only to find out that the TV (or that uncle who seemed so cool, or the idealistic teacher at school) was wrong....
I say, figure out what you need (some money for food, etc.), then try something. Anything that will achieve at least the minimum. Then try to change the things you don't like. If you can't, try something else.
If you're going to try something that will take a long time (i.e., you need to go to school for 6 years first), get in the environment first and see if you like it. Knowledge! Experience! Etc....
There are only 10 types of people: those who understand decimal, those who don't, and, uh, 8 other types I forget.
you know... its completely possible he owned three successful high tech companies and decided his 500 million in net worth entitled him to do a bit of gardening. that's the problem with making assumptions based on appearences.
I can see that the point of my story is lost on some people. Oh well...
I went through pretty much the same experience that the reviewer had in terms of being introduced to What Should I Do With My Life? Read the article linked from Slashdot, bought the book, listened to the NPR review.
Some posters seem to think it's a career advice book, but I think that's an oversimplification that Bronson dismisses early on. It's a collection of stories about how various people figured out (or, more often, tried to figure out) what they really wanted to do with their time. It's not a book about parceling your time or a set of tips on how to kiss up to your manager.
Bronson's stories are charming, and although I agree that he infused the book with a little too much of his own experience, those stories were never so flat that I wanted to skip them. I particularly enjoyed the story about the good 'ole boy that jumped out of the consulting-to-Big-Oil business not just to try something different, but the complete opposite of what he had been doing. The absurdity of the whole process was also humorously revealed in the story of the guy that figured out while interviewing with Bronson what he really ought to do: "I want to help people...play better golf!"
I found this book at a time when I needed some reminding of what I thought my purpose was. I just started graduate school last fall and, as it seems nearly everyone does, got to the point why I wondered why the hell I was going through the academic motions all over again. All my other friends had moved on to something new, and here I was in the same old grind.
I had forgotten that I had come to graduate school to study a topic that I'd dreamed about pursuing (polar glaciology, not exactly something you can just pick up) for several years. It was virtually the only thing that got me really jazzed as an undergraduate so when the opportunity arose to get into it, I jumped at it.
But then all the other grad school stuff kicked in, and it didn't seem like such a good use of 6 years anymore. Bronson's book helped me refocus on why came to do what I'm doing. A friend said that if I had to read the book to remind myself why I was in grad school, then I must not be doing what I really want to do. But I think if she read the book, she'd realize (as I eventually did) that your "calling" is, as Bronson concludes, a glimmer that can oscillate. It's almost never an epiphany, instead it's a trend towards what you really want to do.
I watch TV and (gasp!) have independent thoughts. All things in moderation.
a) what's the point of an college education when you might learn more outside of school? i note your use of quotes around education... but really that just nullifies your statement. don't we always learn? and if so, aren't we always educating ourselves?
b) what's the point of a formal education when you might not get to study exactly what you want? so, i didn't take high school as seriously as i might have. i was a B, B+ student. well that translated into not getting into a school like UCB or MIT where i could've taken a degree that was a little more out there. (i would've preferred an art-computer science hybrid.) i had to settle for a college education that centered more around CS and enrich my life on the side with artistic pursuits.
i got into grad school and dropped out midway through the first semester solely because i could've aced a master's degree but i would've totally missed out on becoming a master of what i really love.
c) and in a result of that, i now find myself with and degree in computer engineering, but no easy way to pursue a degree in art or any of these new art-computer degrees that have been around for the last few years. i have too much XP for a bachelors program, but not quite enough paper to back up my readiness for a masters. sometimes having that slip of paper is a hinderance.
of course, these are just mistakes and lessons i've learned... (which, the lessons could be mistakes on their own.)
m.
[rant]
They never talk about the people that follow their dreams and fail spectacularly.
Ever notice how the people that do these things usually have a nest egg to fall back on? Poor rich people that are so bored with their jobs, boo fucking hoo.
People like that rarely grew up poor. I grew up poor (well, Canadian poor, which is not nearly as bad as, for example, Mexican poor) and I worked my ass off to get my "demeaning, wage slave" job - it's a fuck of a lot better than scrubbing toilets and working graveyard shifts at a liquor store for a fraction of what I earn now. The last two years since college have been like a fucking vacation compared to the six before it.
I only have to listen to this shit from people that grew up in the US and Canada. Every person I talk to that grew up poor (ie/ from Mexico, the Philipines, etc) is pleased as punch to be working their "wage slave" jobs.
I guess it's easy to wax poetically about the gutter if you have never really lived in it and can always crawl out.
[/rant]
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
I think I am in the same boat as the reviewer in some ways. I have been a programmer in the corporate world for about 10 years now and have pretty much burnt out. Deep down I imagine I still enjoy coding, but it's just so hard to dras my ass into this place every day now. I even find myself getting bitter when I see other programmers reading technical books on the train. I wish I was still that interested.
So what the hell am I getting at here. I guess the one complaint about the book is that it portrays many people who are financiall well off changing course in their life. But most of us are really just getting by. Basically my position is I have a job I don't really care for in an environment I would never choose but I am stuck because I have to pay for a house in a suburb I don't really like and my wife actively hates just so my kids can go to safe schools so that they can someday get a crappy job like mine. Meanwhile I am worried about my oldest girl because middle school is coming up and that is just hell especially in the consumer oriented suburb where I live. And though I am no luddite and not a right winger nor religious, those are not my values in the end.
Enough about my problems. Seems to me like a discussion of what a Regular Guy(tm) would do to change course in his and his family's life would be of interest. Let me share with you the plan that has been brooding in my brain for a few months here.
First, I have been wanting to home school the kids for some time. If you figure that my kids spend 6 hours per day in school but get 1/30th the teachers attention, then what are they doing with the other 5 hours and 48 minutes. Waiting. But then there is the 1 and a half hours of homework. Seems like I am already home schooling. The rest is baby sitting.
So if I home school, I eliminate the need to live someplace lame because of the schools. Now I can buy a cheap house. I am thinking of someplace out in a somewhat rural area near a halfway decent small city, hopefully with a decent university. I choose a rural location because I would like to have a decent garden and greenhouse so I need a little more land.
Selling my expensive house means I can get out of debt (including my car) and still have enough for a down payment on the cheap house. Buying the cheap house means I don't have to make $100K at some corporate whore-house. Hopefully this will mean both me and the wife can just work part-time which will leave time for the home schooling.
Of course this plan is full of holes still. I am concerned about the kids having enough friends, so I don't want to move to the middle of nowhere. Any suggestions from folks here about good locations that fit my description, or decent ways to pick up part time work? Much appreciated.
Don't just think about yourself; what career to have or how much money to make. Help others.
I've been programming for 25 years, Fortran thru Java, and there are times when it's total garbage and other times when it is really fun. (Mostly the former, sigh).
Anyhow, in my non-job time, I work with and teach kids and I have a wonderful time. Of course, there are moments when I want to run off screaming down the hall. But there are other times when I so touched by them that my vision blurs. They are so precious.
There's my kids also and raising them with my wife is the biggest and best challenge of my life.
I'm a geek, socially maladroit and introverted but once I stopped focusing only on myself and only my "needs", that's when even greater things happened.
I know I sound like a infomercial, but this is how it happened to me. You don't have to do only one thing or spend all your time on your job. Reach out and volunteer. If your job is that fascist that they won't let you have any personal time, quit. You're a clever person...especially if you're a developer ;-). You'll find something else.
The point is to sacrifice for others and you'll find that you're way happier than if you worry about the great me, regardless of your day job.
Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? --Abraham Lincoln
I know many people who cashed in their chips and made the brave and bold move to start up their own business, and nearly all of them failed. --I know a LOT of people who ended up in debt up to their ears, out of business and out of luck less than two years later. The banks tell us that statistically, only 1 in 5 business start-ups go anywhere. This is the truth.
HOWEVER. . . This does not mean that following one's dream is a bad idea. In fact, I happen to believe that it is the ONLY idea worth investing in, and that it can't go wrong so long as you are true to yourself. --You've heard that before, but let's think about it. .
You see, there are commonalities to all of the stories of failure, and they are, Too Little Planning and Too Much Wishful Thinking. The results are poor execution, and then failure. This cannot be overstated! --It is entirely true that if you follow your heart, you cannot fail. But many, many people don't follow their hearts. They follow illusions.
I have been amazed at the number of times I have watched a friend or acquaintance make a stupendously awful business decision, and when I gently suggest a way to correct the problem, I am barked at for, "Being Mean," for "Attacking my Dream," for, "Undermining my Positive Thinking." Etc, etc.
Yes, it is a million times more comfortable to pretend that Everything Is Alright, than it is to acknowledge that one has made an error in judgment and to then fix that error, but if you conduct yourself in such a delusional manner, you can be pretty much guaranteed to be on the skids 2 years later. This seems obvious, but clearly it is a huge issue. (1 in 5. .
When people ask my advice on starting one's own company, I stress 2 things.
In any case, though, you can sort of see why people get upset with me. Living in illusion is a helluva lot more comfy than facing these kinds of truths. But that's life; it's hard and it's unforgiving to those who refuse to look at things in an honest light. If you can't deal with that, then go back to selling burgers and quit complaining. --By contrast, however, when you DO start looking at the hard questions and when you DO start working to solve those problems in a diligent manner, then the Universe will start doling out luck and opportunities galore. I'm not kidding one little bit. Once you stop chasing illusions and determine the true nature of your path, then the Universe falls in love with you and will help you along. The Universe loves those who are willing to self-examine and strive for self-improvement. The reason for this is that the Universe knows just how devastatingly difficult this is to actually do, it knows how hard it is to earn the skills required to participate in a field in a meaningful way, and it rewards people accordingly.
The other thing to keep in mind, (and this one is golden!), is that dreams are easily transferable from one industry to another, and that aiming to acquire one stream of income is not the only or the best model for success.
For example, let's say you want to be a musician; you want to sing and write music for a living. Well, there are many, many ways to write music and sing which entirely by-pass the whole Top 40, going on tour, strutting on stage, big music label, route. There are, in fact, many unexplored ways to make music and also pay the bills. Music is a valued commodity, and there are many aspects to it which require skilled people in many different fields, in many different mediums.
Just because you happen to, say, end up as a technical producer at a recording studio, doesn't mean that you can't also write and record your own songs, etc. You might be able to book free time at the studio you work in. You might be able to take a summer off and play at pubs and sell your CD. You might meet other musicians and share ideas. Heck, perhaps you'll go the other way and discover that you find joy in repairing and building guitars and selling hand-crafted instruments. There are a million ways to build a fulfilling career. It's vital to remember that it's okay to not be on the cover of Rolling Stone. --Of course, if your heart is set on being a famous musician, if that is where the lodestone of your soul directs you without mercy, then chances are, if you play it smart and do your homework, then yes, you probably WILL end up on the cover of Rolling Stone. But most people's lodestones do not point that way, and those people need to be honest and listen more carefully to themselves in order to learn what will make them happy in the long run.
Just a few thoughts to consider.
-Fantastic Lad
I'm halfway through this book now, and Po struggled with the class issues a little himself. He wondered if the whole question isn't a little bourgeois. He discovered that that isn't the case - lower and middle class people struggle with the same questions.
Maybe a person with more money has more options, but more options does not necessarily make a decision easier, either.
Also: in general, people tend to spend what they make. The guy who makes $200k might be just as leveraged and stuck as a guy who makes $30k. OK, he drives a cooler car, but does that, in itself, make him less noble?
you.
I think the thing that irritates me the most about these types of discussions is the insistance that there is this "perfect job" out there, or the "perfect friends", or whatever, and "if only you can find that..." We have completely externalized the idea of happiness and insist that it has to be "out there somewhere". Rather than enjoying life, we're so busy searching for it.
What I've found is that the only true path to happiness is to love yourself. Unconditionally. This is the only starting point we can go from. Sure, everyone makes mistakes, sure, no one's perfect, but we have to believe in ourselves because the world sure as hell isn't going to do that for us. That's not anyone else's job. It's our own.
Think about it. If everything in your life is taken away from you, what have you got left? Just yourself. And that has to be the most important thing. There are all sorts of support structures in life: a good job, friends, family, you name it. But if you simply can't exist without these, then you're allowing your life to be held up at the expense of these supports, without paying any attention to the foundation (you!).
There is no Question. There is only a collection of confused souls floundering about in the vastness of the world, searching for a Meaning that they themselves created!
Be happy with yourself. Do what you need to do to make money, but understand that YOU are the answer. Have a beer with some buddies from time to time, find a place to relax, get yourself moving whenever you start pondering "The Question"! (God, I hate that phrase...) Because, unfortunately, there is no Answer.
In case you're wondering, I'm working in the IT field at the moment, but I can still have fun from time to time. Life is not just fun times, anyway, it's difficulty and stress thrown in there as well. To tell the truth, I think I'd feel a bit strange if it was any other way.
The major difference, I think, between those people who are satisfied with their lives and those that aren't is a matter of personal philosophy and personality. Sometimes it's a good idea to hang around with coworkers who seem to "have it all together", not only to see that it can be done, but also to realize the humanity of these so-called "gods".
We're all in this game of life together. I, for my part, intend to have a good time ;)
Of course, if you read The Millionaire Next Door you will see that the authors of that book define rich in a "better" way IMHO - they define it as the amount of time one could sustain one's style of living without any income source. So, if the dude who makes $200k a year blows $195 a year on stuff, then he is quite poor, actually.
I could not justify my existence if I were a turkey farmer. Would I terminate myself? Undoubtably, yes.
Patience. "Lord Bitman", a 15-year old's internet moniker if I ever heard one, will probably look back on this conversation and cringe himself one day, if he remembers it.
Slight correction: If you make $200K you should have security and comfort. But if you make $200K a year and spend $200K each year, then you have no more security than the guy who makes $33K a year and spends $33K a year. Wealth is not about what you make, it's about the delta between what you make and what you spend.
I could not justify my existence if I were a turkey farmer. Would I terminate myself? Undoubtably, yes.
because I really like it.
My wife has to drag me away from the computer most nights.
What about those of us in the tech industry who do it because we really like it, and the money and perks are just a side benefit?
It sounds like everyone in the high tech industry is doing something they hate for a few extra bucks.
A quick word of advice to add to the review: this is not Studs Terkel's Working, this is not a lot of randomly assembled vignettes into jobs -- read the book in order. If, like me, you're inclined to cherry-pick excerpts from things that look like anthologies, don't. It's not several dozen little unconnected stories, they're actually arranged in an order to make a point. If you read them out of order, you often miss the point he was getting to. He also will make an analogy in one story (the "inner table" for example) and then refer to it subsequently, without further explanation. Read it like a novel.
-*- Any technology indistinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced -*-
FWIW, I've been doing that for the last 11 years, and I've decided it's got to end. It's a schizophrenic existence, and I find, because my "hobbies" also require a high level of commitment and administrative/management skill, that there is a tug-of-war between them for my energy. I can only put up with so much administrative bullshit in a day, which is going to get it: my job or my volunteer work?
I find I'm mentally in a place where I want my life to "hang together" better. I don't want to have to shift so much between work-mode and play-mode.
And this is part of the value of the book under discussion: it talks about the difference between expecting your job to be fun or entertaining (on one hand) and expecting your job to be satisfying and meaningful (on the other).
I'm not looking for a job that's "fun", but I need to do work the value of which is not solely in that it funds things which are of value to me. I need, increasingly, my work to feel like it makes a positive contribution to my community/world.
To bring this home a little: I'm a web dev. I've worked on a lot of corporate brochure-ware web sites. I feel proud of the quality of my work, and the value I gave for the money I way paid -- as a good craftsman will. But that's not enough any more. I now do web dev for a edu non-profit, which is better, I suppose, but also still not enough.
-*- Any technology indistinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced -*-
Partnering with a childfree female is a decent option - you get to split living costs, and there's a high probability that she, like you, will be cash flow positive. That'll put both of you on track to early retirement sooner than either of you could have hacked it by yourselves.
This is true. Most of my friends really didn't start getting ahead until they got married. The reason is two incomes, and one set of living expenses. It was only then that they were able to save enough for a downpayment on a house, etc. These are professionals, too, people with good educations and good jobs, who are generally frugal and not flashy.
If you have to pay for your own education and deal with the cost of living in a major city, it's likely that even with a good job (lawyer, engineer, etc.), you won't be able to buy a house until your mid to late 30s. And even that is with working your ass off, making some smart investments, and wheeling and dealing a little. The people who really make out are the ones who manage to buy a house in a neighborhood that magically improves, and they double their money in 5 years or so. Real estate appreciation is still how most people get ahead in America.
The fact is that most young people (35) who are living a flashier lifestyle are are still subsidized by parental wealth in some way. They either got their educations paid for so they have no college debt, they got money to put into their houses, or, they spend themselves silly because they know, in the back of their minds, that an inheritance will ultimately save their sorry broke ass when they're 50 or 60. Usually it's all three of these things. I know plenty of people living this way too.
Yeah, these make great soundbites, the stories of people who spend years foolishly getting rich on lucrative but unsatisfying jobs and eventually decide to cash in and do something moer worthwhile. What annoys me, though, is that Bronson and the media following his story seem to have no interest in those of us who never went astray in the first place. Bronson rhapsodizes over a disillusioned investment banker who "downsizes" by buying eighty acres of farmland - how many people who've spent their lives as, say, teachers or writers can afford that? And what happened to the family farmer who used to own that land - d'ya suppose maybe he lost it to a BANKER somewhere along the line?
And then there's Bronson's trucker who quit the venal, awful music law business to spend more time with his kid...well, good for him, but I know dozens of actual creative musicians who had to ditch their dreams because of venal, awful music lawyers like the trucker admits he used to be. Many of them would LOVE to be able to afford the tuition to go to trucker school.
I'm all in favor of people reconsidering their values, and it's never too late to turn around. But the homeless shelter where I live is full of unemployed teachers, professors, network administrators, graphic designers who followed their consciences all their lives. So my admiration for people who waste half their lives getting rich enough to finally do something REAL is, shall we say, limited.
If you think that having all that claptrap in the first place makes someone lucky, then of course you don't get it. If you beleive that being wealthy means that you have a good life, then no wonder you don't have sympathy for people in that situation. Besides which, if you think that living on $50K (gross) requires "survival skills," you're in the same absurdly wealthy class as those earning $200K, relative to that 99.999% of humanity you talk about.
Let me tell you something. Money ain't shit. Once you've got enough for food, shelter and education, there's no correlation between having more and being happier. Really. None. There are two obvious conclusions to be drawn from this:
If you're awake the lesson of this book isn't "The wealthy occasionally choose to be a little less wealthy. How noble." but "Sometimes people realize that money isn't making them happy. Once you get this, you can spend your like taking care of yourself instead of chasing the Almighty Dollar."
Look at it this way: Maybe the reason you hear about whiny rich people chucking it all to "find themselves" is because they needed to have wealth before they could stop and look at it and realize that it wasn't worth going for after all. As long as you think that you're not wealthy enough yet, you can maintain the illusion that maybe the next dollar will be the one to make you happy. Someone (like you) can look at those who have $200K and figure "Hey, they must have it good. I'm jealous."
Now, you've got three choices as I see it. You can live the rest of your life not making $200K/year, but being jealous of those who do. That's just pathetic. Or, you can figure out what you have to do to make $200K/year yourself. That's a waste of your life, but at least you're not stewing with impotent envy. Or, you can realize now that having that kind of money isn't worth anything, take pity on people who've wasted their precious life on aquiring it, and put your life into something worthwhile. What'll it be?
Life is full of sorrow, hardships and eventually death. Be sure to understand that everyday so that you may appreciate life as it is, a flower, a hug, a friendly word.