Slashdot Mirror
Search for the Missing Universe
Chris Gondek writes "The Sydney Morning Herald has reported that one of the greatest discoveries of our time could be made under the Yorkshire moors. Deep in a Yorkshire mine, scientists are toiling to solve a cosmic puzzle that has baffled astronomers for 70 years: about 90 per cent of the universe is missing. Analyse the movements of stars and you can work out how much matter is making them swirl round in galactic islands and how much makes galaxies cluster together as they do - in other words, you can work out how much mass makes the universe look the way it does. But measurements suggest that the universe is not what it appears."
The Bush administration today announced that they believe Iraq's WMD are being stored inside the missing 90% of the universe. "They're definitely there, in the missing 90%, because we can't see them." said White House Chief of Staff Ari Fleischer. "We'll continue to look for them, but if we don't find them, feel confident no one else will be able to, either."
about 90 per cent of the universe is missing
I'd look in Windows.
The coolest voice ever.
Oh now it all makes sence...The info minister IS Ari Fleicher! Have you ever seen them both on tv at the same time? I thought not.
Whenever I lose something, sometimes it turns up in my shoes.
</obligsimpsons>
"Wow, you're like some kind of superhero able to ward off happiness and success at every turn."
-- Ryan Stiles
There is allways the chance it is just compressed....with bz of course :)
Computer science is a grab bag of tenuously related areas thrown together by an accident of history, like Yugoslavia.
So does that mean that the answer to the universe isn't really 42?
Is you link mixed in with the 90% of the missing universe?
If Mr. Edison had thought smarter he wouldn't sweat as much. --Nikola Tesla
Today, little beena we'd be learning a new word.
'preview'
preview
n 1: an advertisement consisting of short scenes from a motion
picture that will appear in the near future [syn: {prevue},
{trailer}]
2: a screening for a select audience in advance of release for
the general public
v : watch a movie or play before it is released to the general
public
Please write a 2000 page essay on this word, along with 687 sentences of 'preview' being used as a word and 582 sentences of 'preview' being abused as a word.
Professor Slash bin Dot.
If 90% of the universe is missing, I'm betting that my dryer is the portal to the missing part. Let me explain. I put a load of clothes in the washer. Then I move them from the washer to my dryer. Then when the dryer gets done with them and I put them on my bed to be folded, stuff that was there when I put the clothes into the dryer is always missing. This has convinced me that my dryer is a portal of sorts to somewhere. On a side note if anyone wants to get in my dryer and try to open this portal somehow you're more then welcome assuming you get me my clothes back.A big plus would be that you'd get the credit for finding the rest of the universe.
Check out my life
Its not that 90% of the Universe is missing, but because of all the Email spam problems we have, the Earth has been Black Listed. I contened that once we solve the spam problem, we will be able to reach the rest of the Universe. With that said, dont epect to be able to reach the rest of the Universe for quite some time.
8 times 6 is 48
i'm currently investigating a similar matter: dark data. It seems to occupy around 90% of my hard disk.
Bye, Martin
I thought Iraq kept their WMD in heaven?
can't sleep slashdot will eat me
Well. Back to the drawing board.
Furthermore, if Al Quaeda were to buy, steal, or receive plutonium as a gift from the missing 90% of the universe, then Al Quaeda would be dangerously close to having a nuclear weapon. This is unacceptable.
Clearly, 90% of the universe needs to be destroyed. Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud.
So THAT'S where all my missing socks are!!!
This was solved a long time ago...
...the missing mass is AOL disks.
-- Terry
If they ever find the missing 90%... I want back all my missing socks, several sets of keys, two wallets and my mind...
Prospecting Stinks. Stop Wasting Time on Cold Calling.
That's what I get for driving and posting at the same time!! 1933 obviously.
in other news, iraq's former information minister denied the presence of weapons of mass destruction, denied the existence of the universe, and swore that the numbers '9' and '0' could not possible go together and "were commiting suicide at the walls of the '%' sign."
"the evil, insidious dogs of war who continue to spread these lies of a universe are defeated -- and they are dead," said the confused, babbling minister of information "my feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all, and they will be slaughtered."
"Wanna know how to be a genius? Just say 'everything stinks'. That way you're never wrong."
We couldn't afford the Pro version of the Universe which comes with 100% of the mass in a fully functional universe, so we settled with Universe Lite which is a toned down, cheaper, consumer market version. Most of the missing mass is in gas and small particles anyway so we didn't need it that badly.
We were closed monday night...and closed early on another night this week...can't remember which...they all blur together...would be easier to figure out if people would just wear different clothes on different nights, but I 've given that one up as hopeless.
"Lost a universe, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing... how embarrassing!"
Clearly, 90% of the universe needs to be destroyed.
I think you meant "liberated".
I don't make jokes in base 13. Anyone who does should get help.
--Douglas Adams
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired. - Robert Anson Heinlein
Did they misplace it again? When are they going to learn it? Always put the Universe back once you are done using it!
Do you care about the security of your wireless mouse?
Simply put... god is a hack -- He had a week to make the universe -- instead he watched kung fu movies for 6 of the days and pulled in an all nighter ...
... (the bug is actually in the large_scale_effect() method -- but that is another story) ... so he put in a couple of frobs to get things moving at the rate he thought satisfied his artistic needs.
... and we bought it en masse.
when he was done he found galaxies weren't spinning perfectly with e = mc^2
Checked it in... no one QA'd it... packaged and shipped it
uhh... if you have a better explanation, bring it forward...
> I thought Iraq kept their WMD in heaven?
Now each CIA operative is being required to frisk 72 virgins in search of the missing WMD.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Actually, we already know what the 90% of the "missing" Universe is - socks!
I print, therefore I am.
... France surrenders
Live web cams
how unbearably sexy it is to hear a girl discussing mind-bending physics. Or anything that's way over my head, for that matter.
--- 11 meters/second, or 24 miles per hour - the airspeed velocity of an unladen European swallow. Really.