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Have You Seen This Segway?
Kringle writes "An April 28th theft of a Segway from a home in Kent, Washington appears to be the first of its kind. The Smoking Gun has a copy of the police report. The good news is that the thief didn't get the keys and is lugging around a big paperweight. No word yet from the Grand Theft Auto team about including a Segway in their next game release."
someone got one at a decent price!
... a "Microsoft Bob" CD was stolen from a home in Wazoo, Nebraska. No one is exactly sure why anyone would want to steal either item. A police source was quoted as saying, "We're not sure what their motives are."
My journal has hot
What a drag!
Why, for the love of God, why?
Had the thief gotten the keys, it would be funny to watch the getaway. He's speeding 11 MPH from the scene of the crime laughing nefariously. Hmm... very frightening.
Does anyone know whether or not a segwey can be "hotwired" so to speak? Do you _really_ need the magical keys (there's 2 I believe, they determine the maximum speed) to use one?
Above all, I wouldn't want to be using that thing when the police put out the APB.
"He's slowly getting away, sir!"
No word yet from the Grand Theft Auto team about including a Segway in their next game release.
No word yet from the Paperboy team, either.
A programmer is a machine for converting coffee into code.
I would be interested in buying a used Segway if anyone knows where I might be able to get one.. wink wink
Skinner: Damn...they're very slowly getting away!
668: Neighbour of the Beast
a.) Some punk kid who knew what it was and didn't know how hard it was to hotwire.
b.) Captain Crunch found out how to hotwire it with a few wires and a toy from a box of cracker jacks. (+1 for 2600 reference)
c.) Druggie who had no clue and is trying to sell it.
d.) Vandals.
e.) It's a publicity stunt by the company selling them in a bid to both get attention, and show how "useless" it would be to steal one (Implying that even if yours is stolen, Insurance will replace it and the thief won't benefit from ti anyway)
"Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
Ermmm... but stealing BMWs makes sense. It's the summer's new blockbuster - Gone in 60 Minutes
It Is the Nature of Information to Transgress Artificial Boundaries
Update: Statistics now show that 25% of all Segways have been stolen.
sulli
RTFJ.
for a low-rider Segway with under-body neon lights, a huge spoiler, and plastered with all sorts of Chinese ideograms
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
I think Segway creator, Dean Kamen, just decided business was slow and he would just start stealing his few customers' Segways so they would have to buy additional ones. That's exactly what happened. Plus he can recycle some parts!
(\_/)
(O.o) This is Bunny. (> <)
Yeah, and imagine telling the other inmates what you're in for. Reminds me of the Serta mattress "counting sheep" commercial where they're tossed in jail for ripping off the 'do not remove' tag from a mattress.
"What're you in for?"
"Oh, we were caught rip" "RIPPING A MAN TO PIECES!"
---
"What're you in for?"
"Oh, I got caught stealing a seg.....ment of a man's intestines...right outta his body...with my bare hands! While he watched!"
Oh yeah, hard time in the big house for this one...
I'd love to see the look on the judge's face if this guy is ever brought to trial. "You stole a _what_?!"
--News Release-- The makers of the popular Grand Theft Auto game series have announced their intention to add the Segway scooter to their video game. The Segway, affectionately dubbed "Speedy Gonzalez", will be equipped with Stinger anti-aircraft missiles and anti-tank rockets. A JATO (jet-assisted takeoff) rocket pack will be added to increase the drag racing potential of what one GTA player has referred to as a "bad-ass ride, dude!". There is no word as of yet concerning the possible addition of the famous Renault line of cars to the GTA lineup.
If my answers frighten you, stop asking scary questions.
"He's asking anyone who sees the Segway or knows where it might be to call Kent police at 911."
Wow - what a coincidence. My local emergency number is 911 too.
Tonight, they're going to take it out for a whirr-by shooting.
"A microprocessor... is a terrible thing to waste." --
GeneralEmergency
SARS. Indeed.
Operator: "911, please state your emergency."
Caller: "(garbled) please help! There's (garbled) with SARS, and (garbled) me!
Operator: "Ma'am, you need to calm down. Please repeat what you just said."
Caller: "There's a MAN with SARS, and he's coming towards--oh, Jesus God--"
Operator: "All right, ma'am, you need to tell me where you are right now. Is he threatening you with the SARS?"
Caller (whispering): "He's right there...I don't know if he can--oh, no, no, NO! GO AWAY! PLEASE! DON'T--"
Operator: "Ma'am? Ma'am? We've traced your location, and a unit is on the way. We need you to stay right where you are. Ma'am?"
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
Yeah a real joyride. Dragging a 93Lbs Segway down the street sounds like a joy ride to me. :)
RiGgA
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It does qualify. If they were crazy enough to steal it, who knows how nuts they are?
Tired of legitimate data sources? Try UNCYCLOPEDIA
score +1, informative.
score -1, too realistic, get search warrent for his garage.
Runnin' On Empty
Just raise the taxes on crack.
"Yer right, Cletis. That IS one fancy-pants lookin' push-mower. If'n ya only had the keys..."
Roger Schmeckel, a grossly obese Sysadmin from the washington area was unable to function without his stolen segway.
Aparently once considered "only fat" by friends and colleagues, the complete cessation of any physical activity brought on the the purchase of the segway has caused Schmeckel to gain an astonishing 250lbs in 3 months. He is now unable to walk from his desk to the kitchen without assistance.
Schmeckel is quoted as saying -- "I'm just glad all my friends from the EQ community have banded together and helped me out during my time of need".
Tape at 11.
They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty nor security
a couple years ago some morons broke into my car and stole all my stereo equipment, AND MY HP-48GX CALCULATOR! (a reverse polish notation calculator for those that dont know)
Years later, I still laugh when I think about the morons trying to use such a calculator, since entering something as simple as "2 + 2" yields an error for invalid syntax (again, for those who dont know RPN, you would have to enter "2 ENTER 2 ENTER +" to get the result.
they probably thought it was broken and ditched it.
A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
So's my cell phone. I get lots of weird calls, but I just mumble "we'll send someone over" and hand up.