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The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference
Jacek Fedorynski writes "I present to you an urgent and confidential request: I request your attendance at The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference. This is an excellent opportunity to meet your distinguished colleagues, learn new marketing techniques, and spend your hard-earned money. Attending this conference demands the highest trust, security and confidentiality between us."
"I present to you an urgent and confidential request" Confidential here in Slashdot?
* Nigerian scams reloaded
* Free viagra
* Penis or breast enlargements (1 per person)
how to type convincing 419 scam letters.
1) capslock, what is is, and how to avoid it.
This Message and all replies are the Property of the Fox network. © 2002
...then I have a 25 million dollar wire transfer I need your help to complete!
Funny site, for sure.
I am the widow of Makeu Safeglouglou, who was minister of useless things. My husband was killed as he was about to mount a lap dancer in a Ouagadougou stripper bar.
Help us transfer several billion sperm celles frozen in a sperm bank account!
I thought the Nigerians were very good at writing email. I am constantly getting email from them asking me to send my bank details so they can deposit large sums of money. They are always very polite.
Saying your OS is the best because more people use it is like saying MacDonalds make the best food
I have colleages?
In Nigeria of all places... hmmmm.
I never knew.
I will insist that my boss sends me again this year, and I'm sure I will report that it was once again a must-attend event.
__
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You know a scammer needs some training when he get fooled into sending real gold to his "victim". :-)
b/c I am checking out "Free Hot Teen Girls Who Want To Sleep With You"
#!/usr/bin/perli le(){
$wget = "/usr/bin/wget";
$spammer_url = "http://j-walk.com/blog/docs/conference.htm";
wh
$do = `$wget $spammer_url`;
}
Hello Taco, MY NAME IS William Gates and I have been having some problems with the AMERICAN GOVERNMENT and a nasty company called AOL TIME WARNER who think they are going to get a LARGE SUM OF MONEY from me.
BECASUE OF GOVERNMENT SCRUTINY I NEED YOUR HELP IN TRANSFERING THE SUM OF 750,000,000 TO A SWISS BANK ACCOUNT.
FOR YOUR HELP, I WILL STOP FUNDING SCO'S ATTACK ON LINUX.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP IN THIS MATTER
WILLIAM GATES
I'm a friend of a friend of the working class.
All attendees should be aware that the contact address is wrong. The address on the page is the place where the conference will take place.
For registration, please send the registration fee and your address here:
Fede Raltra
Decom Mission
CRC-240
600 Penn Syl Vania Ave, NW
Wa Shing Ton, D.C. 20580
Nigeria
Sincerely yours
Fede Raltra
Irene KHAAAAAAN!
Since Slashdot is now running tongue-in-cheek stories, for your entertainment here's one: http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/
Hilton Abuja
From their site:
Creditcard confirmation required
-- Multics
Myself, I'd be pretty pissed to see my country's reputation dragged on the mud by oportunistic creeps.
As a Nigerian I have to say in defense that faking a moon landing was not feasible for us (though you'd think with modern technology like Maya & Photoshop it would be easier to get to the moon today), so this is just an easier way of getting our name out there.
IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED :
HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
DEAR SIR/MADAM,
I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.
I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.
IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.
MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST, THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.
MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.
WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER HEAD OF THE HALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.
I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.
I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.
I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.
SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,
GEORGE WALKER
Hey, we hate spammers of all colours! Our hatred spans all races, creeds and sexual orientation.
PS Die spammers die
You can't take the sky from me...
No discussion of the nigerian fee scam is complete without a link to the single funniest thing I've read from Slashdot: a guy who went to a lot of trouble to scam the scammers. Trust me, you'll like it.
Subject: FW: IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
URGENT ASSISTANCE - FROM USA
IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED : HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111
FAX: 202.456.2461
Dear Sir / Madam,
I am GEORGE WALKER BUSH, son of the former president of the United States of America George Herbert Walker Bush, and currently serving as President of the United States of America. This letter might surprise you because we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. I came to know of you in my search for a reliable and reputable person to handle a very confidential business transaction, which involves the transfer of a huge sum of money to an account requiring maximum confidence.
I am writing you in absolute confidence primarily to seek your assistance in acquiring oil funds that are presently trapped in the republic of iraq. My partners and I solicit your assistance in completing a transaction begun by my father, who has long been actively engaged in the extraction of petroleum in the United States of America, and bravely served his country as director of the United States Central Intelligence Agency.
In the decade of the nineteen-eighties, my father, then vice-president of the United States of America, sought to work with the good offices of the President of the Republic of Iraq to regain lost oil revenue sources in the neighboring islamic republic of Iran. This unsuccessful venture was soon followed by a falling-out with his Iraqi partner, who sought to acquire additional oil revenue sources in the neighboring emirate of Kuwait, a wholly-owned U.S.-British subsidiary.
My father re-secured the petroleum assets of Kuwait in 1991 at a cost of sixty-one billion u.s. dollars ($61,000,000,000). Out of that cost, thirty-six billion dollars ($36,000,000,000) were supplied by his partners in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and other persian gulf monarchies, and sixteen billion dollars ($16,000,000,000) by German and Japanese partners. But my father's former Iraqi business partner remained in control of the republic of Iraq and its petroleum reserves.
My family is calling for your urgent assistance in funding the removal of the President of the Republic of Iraq and acquiring the petroleum assets of his country, as compensation for the costs of removing him from power. unfortunately, our partners from 1991 are not willing to shoulder the burden of this new venture, which in its upcoming phase may cost the sum of 100 billion to 200 billion dollars ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), both in the initial acquisition and in long-term management.
Without the funds from our 1991 partners, we would not be able to acquire the oil revenue trapped within Iraq. That is why my family and our colleagues are urgently seeking your gracious assistance. Our distinguished colleagues in this business transaction include the sitting vice-president of the United States of America, Richard Cheney, who is an original partner in the Iraq venture and former head of the Halliburton oil company, and Condoleeza Rice, whose professional dedication to the venture was demonstrated in the naming of a Chevron oil tanker after her.
I would beseech you to transfer a sum equaling ten to twenty-five percent (10-25 %) of your yearly income to our account to aid in this important venture. The internal revenue service of the United States of America will function as our trusted intermediary. I propose that you make this transfer before the fifteenth (15th) of the month of April.
I know that a transaction of this magnitude would make anyone apprehensive and worried. But I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day. A bold step taken shall not be regretted, I assure you. Please do be informed that this business transaction is 100% legal. If you do not wish to co-operate in this transaction, please contact our intermediary representatives to further discuss the matter.
I pray that you understand our plight. My fam
We were arranging an essay competition once in my university. Because I was the chief editor (or some crappy designation) of a student club, I was supposed to come up with an email advert, which, after getting approved by the student club president, would have gotten mass-mailed to everyone in the faculty. Needless to say, I was pissed off with the arrangement; surely, there were better ways of spending a Sunday night. More to the point, writing emails wasn't fun.
So, as an effort at having some fun, while at the same time, creatively getting the message across, I took the George W Bush spam and modified it for university use:-
Surprisingly enough, I had to mail my prez thrice to get this through; seems the first two times, he mistook it for an actual Nigerian scam. Poetic success I guess.
No, we didn't mass-mail this version.
More than mere navel gazing.
It's also been published in the latest issue of 2600.
Breakfast Kickoff Session
Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket
It's hard to find people who know how to make good cricket sandwiches anymore.
This site makes it fun and easy to generate letters for your ligimite biziness proposals.
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
Fox News tells me everything I need to know about the world, no passport necessary.
Just usual pig-ignorant Ammurrican etho-centrism, again.
Well, that just bent the needle on the old irony meter! You have something against prejudice and racism, so you toss off some canard alleging ignorance on the part of 200 million people?
Did you ride to school on the little bus?
-jcr
The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
Dear friend, You may be surprised to receive this letter from me since you do not know me personally, although I am sure you know me by reputation. I am William Gates, "Bill" to many, and as you know, a recent refugee from the company Mi*ft. I got your contact through network online hence decided to write you. Before my flight from the United States to Swaziland I had accumulated tens of billions of dollars which I secreted in several private security companies, foreseeing the looming dangers and my own personal risks in the U.S. This money was deposited in a few boxes in the form of compile-and-run ".net" modules to avoid much demurrage from the Security Companies. This amount was meant for the purchase of new machines and chemicals for the Farms and establishment of new farms in Swaziland. But I have traveled to the Netherlands and I am currently staying in the Netherlands where I am seeking political asylum and more so have decided to transfer my money to a more reliable foreign account. Since the law of Europe prohibits a refugee (asylum seeker) to open any bank account or to be involved in any financial transaction throughout the territorial zone of European Union. As the richest child of my father, I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign account where this money could converted to cash and transferred without the knowledge of my government who are bent on taking everything we have got. The South African government seems to be playing along with them. I am faced with the dilemma of moving this amount of money through the Netherlands for fear of going through the same experience in future. Both countries have similar political history. I am seeking for a partner who I have to entrust my future and that of my family in his hands, I must let you know that this transaction is risk free. If you accept to assist me and my family, all I want you to do for me is to make arrangements with the security companies to clear the Consignment (funds) from their affiliate office here in the Netherlands as I have already given directives for the consignment to be brought to the Netherlands from South Africa. But before then all modalities will have to be put in place like change of ownership to the consignment. I have three options for you. Firstly you can choose to have certain percentage of the money for nominating your account for this transaction. Secondly I can share with you the backdoor login and password to the Passport system. Thirdly you can go into partnership with me for the proper profitable investment of the money in your country. Whichever the option you want, feel free to notify me. I have also mapped out 2% of this money for all kinds of expenses incurred in the process of this transaction. If you do not prefer a partnership I am willing to give you 10% of the money while the remaining 88% will be for my investment in your country. My goodness that's four alternatives, isn't it? Contact me immediately. I implore you to maintain the absolute secrecy required if you enter into this transaction. Thanks, BLESS YOU. Best regards. I know that there are many in this world who do not trust me very much so I am prepared for a difficult search to find my partner. Please pass ths plea on to those of your acquaintance who you know can be trusted with this information.