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He Blows Things Up So You Don't Have To
Red Wolf writes "Popular Science reports on what is possibly the world's coolest job. During his 19 years as a laboratory technician for Underwriters Laboratories, Chuck Cramer has set coffeemakers on fire, knocked computers off desks, short-circuited fans, and blown up everything from toasters to curling irons - all in the name of consumer safety."
..and things like that still happen to those of us who buy the damned things!
Can't they write anything more extensive than this? This is basically the guy's portfolio for when he goes job hunting.
They're not protecting consumers from themselves, but rather from poor manufacturing.
"He blows things up so you don't have to"
What?! But I want to blow things up!
Cyde Weys Musings - Scrutinizing the inscrutable
As much as these so-called "consumer safety" tests try, they'll never stop me blowing up my own appliances.
It's just too darn fun.
Don't knock HTML email. It makes my life easier, since I
game, food and condom testing. I think I will look for a generic "consumer goods tester" position... sould proove pretty cost effective BTW.
...and blown up everything from toasters to curling irons - all in the name of consumer safety.
So is it him we have to thank for the warning label on my paper shredder that indicates I shouldn't try and shread my tie while it's still around my neck?
SecondPageMedia - Wha
Yes, that's the coolest job in the world.
As a matter of fact, this is the job I have always wanted, but I never realized it until today and this Slashdot article.
My day is now ruined. Heck, my entire life is ruined!
I hate you Slashdot, you, you... insensitive clod!
The right to offend is far more important than the right not to be offended. (Rowan Atkinson)
IMHO, UL approval has gotten too regimented and isn't worth what it used to be worth. Now component makers get UL approval for their components (power supply, power cord, etc.) and then a manufacturer buys this component, uses it in some design that the folks at UL never even saw. Of course the manufacturer still slaps that UL logo right on the box.
Also, UL can be a bad thing for some manufacturers. Many national chains (Wal-Mart etc.) will not carry anything electrical if it doesn't have that UL logo. The testing costs money and takes time which can put small companies at a disadvantage. If your creation is so innovative that UL's quickie lab doesn't quite know what to make of this thing from a company they've never heard of, then it may take a long time (longer than your capital lasts) to get your new widget into national distribution.
I am a coffeemaker you insensitive clod!
No, more like the warning label on arosol cans saying they are explosive. The interns get to do the grunt work, like putting a tie in a shredder. He gets to do the real demolition work.
This submission is part of his testing the PopSci server for the Slashdot effect. Beware of non-tested servers!
Money for nothing, pix for free
I'm affraid though, that consumers won't ever be safe, unless Chuk's lab employ my son and few of his friends. Fresh thinking is always good.
"...set coffeemakers on fire, knocked computers off desks, short-circuited fans, and blown up everything from toasters to curling irons..."
What kind of things do they do to engines? Well...
- firing assorted frozen birds from a cannon at 600 MPH into the engine to see what happens.
- Setting off explosive charges in the engine to make sure that the resulting blizzard of metal ejects out the back of the engine, rather than the sides, where it could wreck mayhem.
The results are filmed for analysis - unfortunately, the films are are confidential.But I personally, don't ever have to blow anything up. It's usually accidental.
He tried to kill me with a forklift!
But can you imagine... blowing up a Beowulf cluster?
I demand video of things been blown up!
<fnord>OBEY</fnord>
Sure, he gets to blow stuff up
But imagine the extensive safety reports he must have to write, combined with the countless testing/retesting of products...
I'd imagine it would get tedious, like just about any job
Excuse me, I don't mean to impose, but I am the ocean
The coolest job in the world is working as a Ferrari testing driver.
Driving their cars all day long and actually trying to make their engine explode.
And off course nothing could make you happier and sadder at the same time when that magnificent engine goes boom! and up in smoke, literally.
/. Where the truth
My last job involved a lot of testing work, since I was working for a company that made electronic control modules that went in larger items -- tractor transmision controls, gas boiler ignition / fan controls, and the like. Unfortunately, most of the stuff we made was just too well designed to pack up, and there were few spectacular failures. Maybe all the interesting stuff happened on the complete systems ..... we did once send out a batch of tractor gear controllers with the wrong firmware in them. Shortly after that we had to send a technician with a laptop and a programming lead. Shortly after that we had to send another technician with a USB-to-RS232 converter .....
.....} and occasionally it would leak big-style, or someone would forget to put the hose in the drain. Never got a decent gas leak though ..... although you could get some interesting smells! {I'm talking modern UK appliances with fan-assisted combustion here, so no CO by definition.}
..... mains stuff {230V low-current} was never as interesting as automotive stuff {13.5V high-current} when it packed up. The latter would sometimes go on fire. The surge kit was also known to have deleterious effects on oscilloscope input preamps, but how else do you make sure that there really are noise pulses on the leads? Oh, and it used some really brain-dead software that refused to accept any filename longer than 8.3 characters, despite running on Windows 95 OSR2.
..... nor the way they treated their workers .....
Of course, sometimes the test equipment would give way instead! For "live" testing gas boilers, we had this contraption with a pump, expansion vessel and heat exchanger, allowing the boiler to heat water which was simply chucked down the drain {not much else you can do with it unfortunately
We had surge test equipment for inducing high-voltage spikes onto the power lines of equipment
One product whose testing I missed was a 12kW electric water heater, which involved passing some 50-odd amps of current {approaching automotive levels and now with the added delights of sensible voltages as well!} through {very fat!} PCB tracks close to a copper tube filled with fast-moving water. As you probably can imagine, one bad connection on that contraption could have led to interesting results.
I don't miss the lousy wages they paid, though
Je fume. Tu fumes. Nous fûmes!
Name Eric Dennis
Age 28
Job: During his 3 years at Condom Safety International, he has successfully tested over 300 different types of condoms.
Workplace: CSI's testing facility is in Las Vegas, Nevada. A typical day might have Eric testing upwards of 20 different experimental types of condoms in various orifices.
Current project: From behind the plexiglass window, Eric spreads a young 20-something who was brought in from the northern parts of Africa to test how well experimental 'shocking' condoms hold up inside rigid women.
Critical tool: He has one, and only one. He grooms and lotions this tool every day, keeping it ready for new use. He also takes a daily supplement of viagra for vitality
Greatest challenge: With so many women, STD testing is a must, but sometimes they slip up.. Eric has had over 150 STDs to date, and still recovering from a bout of the clap.
Final word: "Sometimes we'll break on average of 10-15 condoms a day, it's all about the combination of materials combined with the ability to keep sensation intact. We're a watchdog for the people, trying to protect them from themselves.
Excuse me, I don't mean to impose, but I am the ocean
When I was 10 or so, some friends and I decided it would be cool to make a little blowtorch out of a cigarette lighter and an aerosol can of Lysol. It actually worked pretty well. Then we set a dumpster on fire. You wouldn't believe how well trash burns with a little outside help! Somehow, the Fire Department didn't buy the 'consumer safety' excuse, however...
Doesn't that guy look exactly like the occupational hypno-therapist from Office Space?
Have you seen my stapler?
Can he test Microsoft next?
So rise up, all ye lost ones, as one, we'll claw the clouds.
While doing testing on a former project from a company I used to work for, I was actually paid to look up pr0n! It was to test our Internet filtering software and, of course, we had to test when wasn't configured "right". That was another cool job!
This guy's job sure sounds fun, but it's nothing compared to the $200 million Trimount Studios blockbuster film "Blow'd Up." Oh, my!
For more information, click here.
- My great uncle Cal used to be the lead engineer for REI. He was responsible for testing all the equipment. Lab equipment was used to test things like the breaking force of carabiners, but a lot of the time he tested stuff in the field i.e. go backpacking or mountaineering with some new gear and abuse the hell out of it. In the attempt to push things to the limit, he often came up with crazy ways to test things, e.g. one time he set up a tent, affixed it to the top of his car and hit the highway to simulate 70mph winds on the tent.
CNN did a spot on him a few years ago before he retired (I need to dig up that tape), profiling him and his job. He invented a few climbing gadgets (I can't remember which now) and improved many others, climbed a load of mountains with some of the more famous mountaineers, and got paid to play outside. Now THAT's a cool job. Last time I talked to him (`02) he was still backcountry skiing out to yurts. He's in his 70s.
(Needless to say: our family's co-op numbers were LOW)
"Cheeze it!" - Bender
His line of work recently saved the life of a would-be murder victim. Check it out: http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/2304602/detail.htm l
He said that during the Gulf war he had visited more than one hotel which usually had a significant number of visitors from arab countries, and turned up unannounced late at night in full gear with four "wives" in tow to check that the current Middle Eastern situation wasn't adversely affecting the guest experience. I guess that the hours were long and the reports tedious but the compensations were interesting. (including hiring the actresses, I suspect.)
Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
I used to be in a slightly different branch of the field, and I knew a lot of the guys from UL when it was on Long Island
You know rugged "Mil-Spec" stuff is. You know how you see the terms "Tested to Mil-Std-810". Thats what I did. Now, this was more than 10 years ago, but I've seen how you can mount hard drives to survive being in a tank. I've seen films of what can go wrong if an external fuel tanl lets go on a Carrier Landing, and I've helped folks design stuff to survive this
BTW think about a computer in a tank. Your in battle, and another tank shoots at you, and ALMOST penetrates, say the turret. That BIG piece of steel if just been pounded big what is effectivly a HUGE hammmer. The computer that as mounted to it has to keep working, so you can return fire, and hopefully live to another day
Or, you mount your hard drive to the Space Shuttle, or to a Delta/Titan/etc. Do you have ANY idea how much those things shake? Not only by transmitted vibration, but by sheer NOISE. The noise alone will rip most consumer items apart
Some fun tests I saw films of? Let's say you have a door (Nuke reactor building). What happens if there is a tornado? A telephone pole can be picked up, and thrown against the door, narrow end first, at about 300 MPH. That door better hold. So you build a prototype, build a wall, and fire a telephone pole at the door at 300 mph, more than once
Other fun tests? Look up the term "Naval Heavyweight shock". Now imagine do that for a living
-- 73 de KG2V For the Children - RKBA! "You are what you do when it counts" - the Masso
The UL approval process has two parts. One is the Component Recognition program (UR), and the other is the Product Certification program (UL). Components which cannot be used except as part of an assembly cannot get a UL label, only a UR (printed backwards) label. Only your coffee pot, TV and other final products can be "certified". By using only components that have the UR label, a small company can have almost instant approval, and at very low cost. Certain components that have not been submitted to the recognition program, and especially those that connect to voltages greater than 40.2 volts, require very extensive testing in order to get full product certification. By the way, that is why we have so many power cord "bricks". By having the 120 VAC circuit outside the final product, be it a printer or laptop power supply, the "low voltage" product meets most UL (and most european CE) requirements.
I'm here today because that Underwriters approved fuse blew instead of me when, as a four old, I poked a wire in the socket. (Mommy said not to - so I did! I had to know how it worked! Now I'm a analog hardware design engineer)- surprised?
The Noisy Room,
The Fixture and Ballast Room
The Thrown Projectiles Room
The High Voltage Room
Do these guys know how to party, or what?
He was going to only work there for 15 years, but then Office Space came out...
His boss didn't want him getting any ideas about testing the soundness of the building.
There is also a standing memo warning passersby not to touch his stapler.
Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
"I'd say 'Have a good time,' but arson is still illegal.
Like all tests, there has to be some sort of design. For example, toys for small children cannot have small parts that can detach and might cause choking. I wonder where he gets his ideas for test templates: Scientific research, common sense, industry standards, or does he scan the Darwin awards for winners and honorable mentions?
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
I used to work for a clone manufacturer a long time ago who made IBM PC and AT clones. Every time we built a new model it had to go through CSA testing (Canadian version if UL). When we got them back I swear that some of them were still smoking. To top it all off we had to use working parts! If it did not boot it did not pass inspection.
From excellent karma to terible karma with a single +5 funny post...
(Taken from http://lawandhelp.com/q298-2.htm)
McFact No. 1: For years, McDonald's had known they had a problem with the way they make their coffee - that their coffee was served much hotter (at least 20 degrees more so) than at other restaurants.
McFact No. 2: McDonald's knew its coffee sometimes caused serious injuries - more than 700 incidents of scalding coffee burns in the past decade have been settled by the Corporation - and yet they never so much as consulted a burn expert regarding the issue.
McFact No. 3: The woman involved in this infamous case suffered very serious injuries - third degree burns on her groin, thighs and buttocks that required skin grafts and a seven-day hospital stay.
McFact No. 4: The woman, an 81-year old former department store clerk who had never before filed suit against anyone, said she wouldn't have brought the lawsuit against McDonald's had the Corporation not dismissed her request for compensation for medical bills.
McFact No. 5: A McDonald's quality assurance manager testified in the case that the Corporation was aware of the risk of serving dangerously hot coffee and had no plans to either turn down the heat or to post warning about the possibility of severe burns, even though most customers wouldn't think it was possible.
McFact No. 6: After careful deliberation, the jury found McDonald's was liable because the facts were overwhelmingly against the company. When it came to the punitive damages, the jury found that McDonald's had engaged in willful, reckless, malicious, or wanton conduct, and rendered a punitive damage award of 2.7 million dollars. (The equivalent of just two days of coffee sales, McDonalds Corporation generates revenues in excess of 1.3 million dollars daily from the sale of its coffee, selling 1 billion cups each year.)
McFact No. 7: On appeal, a judge lowered the award to $480,000, a fact not widely publicized in the media.
We have got to interview this guy!
Question 1> What what the coolest thing you ever got to blow up, and what were the results of that?
Question 2> What was the most dangerous thing you ever tested that made it to market?
yadda yadda...
/* oops I accidentally made a comment, sorry */
UL has online certification search. Look up those E-numbers and make sure that they match the manufacturer info. Report phonies to UL and the Consumer Product Safety Commission. If you're in telecom or data center operations, it's definitely worth checking wall transformers against the database.
A power supply that passes UL testing will not catch fire if dead-shorted indefinitely. It will not catch fire due to a single-component failure. Some of the phonies will catch fire if merely loaded up to their rated load.
Some review site (ExtremeTech?) did a PC power supply review a few months back, and many of the power supplies wouldn't deliver their rated voltage at full load. Three of the power supplies caught fire. All the ones that passed were in the UL database. None of the ones that caught fire were.
That UL label really means something.
Yes, I know, sloppy terminology. If I'm using it in conversation I usually add a caveat of "assuming normal distribution", but then people look at me funny.
Goblin
It's all fun and games until a 200' robot dinosaur shows up and trashes Neo-Tokyo... Again