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In-Flight Reboot?
steelem writes "The Washington Post is running a story about how the F-22 Raptor's software requires in-flight reboots. Apparently the 2 million line software project is 93% done. Knowing most projects I've been on, it'll stay that way for another few years."
Welcome to Microsoft Airlines, your Stewardess today will be Steve Ballmer.
damn, my job is so boring. I wish I was on the 'let's go kill people' software dev team.
Hi there soldier! You seem to have lost power to both engines secondary to a software malfunction, over hostile territory. Would you like me to help you reboot Windows?
Would it be too trollish to say this brings a whole new meaning to "The Blue Screen of Death"? Yeah, I thought so too.
"Now, admittedly, it's critical software. This is the 'let's go kill people' software."
Man, I need to get a new job.
this is a sig.
2 million lines of code for 'lets go kill people' software. If they can do that, I wonder if I can get them to 'sponser' a new 'lets go eat some cheetos and then kill people' couch for my apartmet.
You just don't understand. Microsoft operating systems and ONLY Microsoft operating systems crash or require reboots. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just part of the vast conspiracy against me.
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
Control: Destroy that incoming cruise missile. ETA 35 seconds.
Pilot: Got Radar Lock
Pilot: Hang on - just got to reboot. Will be ready in 36 seconds...
BSOD = Blue Skies Of Death
It disturbs me that you are disturbed by the military talking about killing people. What exactly do you think the military does? Maybe they will make it open source and you can add some code for feeding orphans.
GENERATION 25: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social exper
I'm really, truly, very sorry... But I just have to say it. How about a beowulf cluster of them?
yeah... $200mn per aircraft... if it wasn't for these damn patents they could download them for free from Kazaa...
During WWI, pilots would signal the enemy if their machine guns jammed. Then it was considered the gentlemanly thing to do for the opponent to wait until the pilot had cleared the jam before resuming the dogfight.
I wonder if modern day pilots are going to need a way to signal their opponent that their computers are rebooting?
I am NOT a man!
I am a free number!
How about giving a whole new meaning to the term "three finger salute"?
Please help metamoderate.
It disturbs me that you are disturbed by the military talking about killing people. What exactly do you think the military does?
:)
Considering the context, maybe he's worried that they're referring to the _pilots_ of these planes?
Told to me by a pilot, I can't verify via a quick google.
this sig deleted by another sig
[_] Take off
[*] Land
[ok](cancel)
You must reboot your computer for the new settings to take effect...
I can already imagine the cockpit layout of a Raptor... Altimeter, speedometer, non-functional IFF indicator, roll indicator, yaw indicator, pitch indicator, three displays for tactical data, fuel indicator, HUD, control, alt, delete...
At least Windows would be fitting on an aircraft... It's easier to move a mouse cursor around with a joystick then to type "shutdown -r now" with it!
Hate me!
Will the pilots have to download security updates and delete mountains of spam as they fly, softly cursing script kiddies under their breaths? Will they get distracted by offers of remarkable penis enlargement and bomb friendly troops? And what happens when a remote attacker gets administrative priveledges to an F-22? Will he use it to serve pr0n, forward spam, or launch a bombing run on the evil Phrench? Ah the possibilities...
It was 25 April 1992 when the F-22 oscillated it's way into the ground - due to (ahem!) pilot induced oscillation.
_ F22_Raptor_EN.exe">http://www.lockheedmartin.com/d ownloads/Q000001_F22_Raptor_EN.exe</A>
<B>Lockheed Martin Knowledge Base Article - Q000001</B>
<B>INFO:</B> F-22 impacts with the surface of the earth.
The information in this article applies to:
- F-22 Raptor for USAF
<B>SYMPTOMS</B>
When you slowly fly above the runway with full fuel, hit the afterburners and wiggle the stick the plane will go up...then down...then up...then down until the non-earth area is exhausted.
<B>RESOLUTION</B>
A supportad fix is now available from Lockheed Martin, but is only intended to correct the problem described in this article. Apply it only to aircraft which are experiencing this specific problem.
<A HREF ="http://www.lockheedmartin.com/downloads/Q000001
<B>WORKAROUND</B>
Avoid taking off.
STATUS
Lockheed Martin has confirmed this is a problem with in the military hardware products that are listed at the beginning of this article.
$2B OR NOT $2B = $FF
Well, of course it's going to reboot on the fly....
Welcome to F22 Raptor version 3.1 (C)1990-2003 Microsoft Corp. Start Microsoft MiddleEast Explorer...Please Wait Target: Hussein, Saddam Located Would you like to: Copy/Delete/Return? Delete? Yes/Cancel Before you delete Hussein, Saddam, would you like to sign up for Microsoft .NET?
Brings a whole new meaning to the term "Fatal Exception".
Sure, it's considered unsportmanlike to shoot someone with the ";)
-l
Trying to get a girlfriend to read /. is the most complicated endeavour undertaken by mankind.
Mode (3) smart-aleck mode. Press * to return to main menu.
Pilot: (Dialing microsoft support services while cruising at mach 50,000) Come on, pick up, pick up.
Pre-recorder message: We're sorry, all circuitys are busy now. Your call is very important to us, please stay on the line until an operator is availible.
Pilot: (Over enemy territory and ready to drop payload, toggling switches like a madman) Damnit, pick up.
Tech Support Person: Hi, This is Candice, how are you today. Pilot: (Engine failure light flashing) Can you can the chatter, I'm cruising over Eastern Kreblenkistan about to die at Mach 40,000.
Candice: There's no need to be rude sir. First I'll need to confirm that you're not using a pirated copy of our software, so will you please refer to the key sticker located on your computer. Pilot: (Frustrated, going down) I can't do that, I'm sort of in a plane right now, can you just tell me how to reboot the thing.
Candice: I'm sorry sir, but we can't be responsible for the failures of pirated software... (transmission ends, big fiery explosion)
Java F22: Pilot: Firing on target... Computer: "Starting Garbage Collector. Please Wait." Gentoo F22: Pilot: Firing on target... Computer: "Compiling Sidewinder Missile..." FreeBSD F22: Pilot: Firing on target... Computer: "Sidewinder Missile is dying..."
COMMAND: Red 1, you've turned off your targeting computer? Is everything all right?
Luke: Use the Force! Read the Source!
It could be 0-0. depending on how many frags you subtract for blue-on-blue aka friendly fire ;).
Strange, my keyboard only has F1 through F12...
"The State Dept. would like to report that it is doing its best to retrieve Lt. Col. John Bowers from enemy territory right now. Lt. Col. Bowers due to system failure, was forced to Ctrl-Alt-Del out over southern Liberia earlier this week."