Slashdot Mirror
Executive Secretary In Every Computer
An anonymous reader writes "BusinessWeek Online just ran an interview with a researcher from Sandia National labs whose team has developed an alternative approach to artificial intelligence. They have come up with a software program that models a computer user's behavior and gives the user advice, corrects his errors or saves files according to the user's own logic. The idea is for computers to learn how to use with users -- instead of vice versa. The software has already been tested with air traffic controllers."
gives the user advice, corrects his errors or saves files
His name is Clippy, and I hate him.
Mike
But I don't want an air traffic controller working out how best to serve me :)
Sorry, couldn't resist.
"It looks like you're trying to land a plane. Would you like lunch?"
"It looks like you're trying to talk to a pilot. Would you like to write a letter to him?"
"It look like you're trying to turn me off. Dave. Don't do that Dave."
- Yes please.
- No, I do not need help landing planes.
- No, and don't show Crashy again.
Click here for other automated flight controller assistants."HAL, get me some coffee please."
"Sorry Dave, we're all out of dark roast."
"HAL, I'm not going to argue with you, I need some coffee!"
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
on a serious note, just having word and excel has replaced many thousands of secretaries already. can anyone out there say that typing is solely a clerical skill like it was 20 years ago?
"You never want a serious crisis to go to waste." - Rahm Emanuel
But if the program mimics its users logic does that mean that we will have tech support being called by computers for stupid reasons?
Probable would work sort of like this.
Mr clippy
--
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Voltaire
We had enough of a headache handling just two executive secretaries(NEVER piss off She Who Presents Things To Be Signed By God). Now we're gonna have 50 of 'em?
On the plus side, this will save a lot of marriages, since The Boss won't have an affair with the computer, get it pregnant, and run off with it to the cayman islands. So maybe it is a good thing...
Please help metamoderate.
Does that mean that when my mom calls me up for tech support that I'll have to teach her and her computer where the any key is?
Photos.
Helpful software everywhwre? Sweet Jesus!
It's almost as bad as the polite elevators ("Which floor would you like to go to today") in the HHGTTG.
Software should be like God made it: rude, difficult, and flaky. The users need their daily dosage of pain and whom are we to deny this to them? It's the endorphins, man!
Ceci n'est pas une signature
Where's the office comedy going to go without a sassy (often latino, to spice things up) secretary? If windows starts sassing me or using a big thick fake accent, I'm fdisking.
" The idea is for computers to learn how to use with users -- instead of vice versa. "
can someone put that in a "in soviet russia" joke ? I tried but I was too confused.
08:08 AM -- It looks like you're browsing /. /. ... /. ...
Would you like me to refresh the site 10 times a second to give you a few fr1st p05ts?
09:17 AM -- It looks like you're browsing
Again.
Would you like me to answer your phone and tell everyone that you are in a meeting?
09:45 AM -- It looks like you're browsing
Again.
Would you like me to call your wife and tell her you are working late?
And so on...
What, me Tweet?
Great, now the percentage of women working in tech companies will go from 15% down to 2%. Good job, ass.
Wer mit Ungeheuern kämpft, mag zusehn, dass er nicht dabei zum Ungeheuer wird. --Nietzsche
In soviet russia, Versa Vice!
;)
Not what you were expecting?
In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
>>The software has already been tested with air traffic controllers.
Why did they bother testing it with air traffic controllers when they could have launched it straight onto some low-risk industry, like nuclear power? (Then again maybe we don't want software imitating Homer Simpson's logic.)
The author of this post asserts his moral rights.
your computer was just turned on. Would you like to...
A. Porn
B. Slashdot
So they tested this technology with air traffic controllers to determine if it was safe to implement for PHBs. I believe I would have chosen a different test group.
who are those slashdot people? they swept over like Mongol-Tartars.
It looks like you're trying to land an airplane!
Would you like to find out...
Too late to be known as Bush the First, he's sure to be known as Bush the Worst.
...that was originally told about Hollywood types, but can be adapted to IT quite easily.
OK, so this IT company is having its annual retreat somewhere out in the desert, and an engineer and a marketdroid get into an argument about something. They wander off into the desert, and are so into it that they don't realize that they're walking directly into a sandstorm until it's too late. They stumble around blindly, and by the time the sandstorm lets up, they're completely lost.
A few hours later, the sun's directly overhead, vultures are circling, and the two are on their knees, begging God to save them and promising to lead virtuous lives if they could just get something to drink--and *ping*, there's a pitcher of ice-cold beer sitting on a rock. The engineer staggers forward, croaking "We're saved!"
The marketdroid holds him back and strokes his chin, saying "No, wait--the color's all wrong. Tell you what, let me piss in it first to make it look better."
I looked into the abyss, and the abyss looked into me--and we both winked.
What happens when the user is a sick, twisted and sadistic person. Will the computer adapt to that kind of user?
If it does, my guess would be that it'd use 'vi' as the default editor for anything.
Black holes are where God divided by zero
No, I didn't RTFA, but the blurb was enough.
Air traffic controllers...
I'm sure glad that every time new software gets developed and people need guinea pigs for testing, they choose
non-critical users
running non-critical applications
on non-critical systems
performing non-critical services.
Mom says my
Dave, I noticed you opened up the cd tray, would you like some coffee?
Dave, I don't have an any key.
Dave, your boss has sent an email, should I make it look like you replied afer normall working hours?
Dave, I noticed several banners and pop-ups, so I click on them for you.
Dave, Based on the web sites you visit, I have ordered you some penis enlargement pills.
Dave, I just made you rich by emails the Minister of Finances widow your bank account.
Dave, Based on your emails, I ordered you a package from Hormel.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Exactly, and this context could be applied to many things. For example, when I download torrents of anime now, I always save them to the same folder which is my holding area for anime I download, which I later move to its correct folder upon viewing. If my computer could sense that I was downloading anime (yet again) and direct it to the proper folder, that would be great. If it could generate a list of what I've viewed completely, what I've partially watched, and what I haven't watched yet, that would be amazing.
Even better, sometimes a series gets moved around in my folder because it has a different file name than others of its kind because it was subbed by a different group. I do not rename the filenames because I like to keep them the same for when I send to others, yet if my computer could figure out that a file was part of a certain group of files even though it had a different filename, that would be a great boon to my productivity.
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
It looks like a 747 is about to crash. Would you like to...
Go hug some trees.
Oh, I'd say AI that lands a plane is killer app enough for anyone.
Any sufficiently well-organized Government is indistinguishable from bullshit.
The idea is for computers to learn how to use with users -- instead of vice versa.
.... Ok, then just double click on "My Computer".
::click::
I can just imagine tech support phone calls:
Tech: Ok, now tap Ctrl-Esc to bring up your start menu.
Customer: Oh... I usually don't do that.
Tech: Ok then, just click on it with your mouse.
Customer: My start menu dissappeared because I never click on it.
Tech: Then what DO you do?
Customer: Oh I forget... Apple-Shift-V? Wait... no...
Tech:
Customer: Oh! That! I usually just pound on the left side of my keyboard until it comes up, but I broke it yesterday so I only have the mouse. But I never used my mouse before to do that so moving it just shuts down my computer.
Tech:
I always felt guilty for not purchasing a licence for it -- the cyber secretary asks if I would like to register her (with a hopeful, expectant look in her eyes). :-(
When I click no, she gives me this sad pouty face and says something like "You don't think I'm worth paying for?...Oh...O.K" Gee...made me feel so guilty.
If MS used CyberSecretary instead of their stupid Clippy...MS Office and Outlook would probably be considered "cool" today.
The goddamn computer gives me too much backtalk already. I can't stand when a program tries to make decisions for me or prompt me with what it thinks is correct behaviour.
Just delete the file and stop asking for confirmation!
Yes, I want to overwrite that file!
No, I don't want to register!
No, I am not interested in special offers!
No, I don't want to change my password now!
No, I am not writing a goddamn letter!
Yes, I want to play global thermonuclear warfare!