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Microscopy With A Film Scanner

NickFitz writes "If you've got a film scanner lying around, this site shows you how to use it as a microscope. "Your monitor displays images at about 70-90 dpi, so taking the example of my Mac monitor at about 75 dpi, we get a magnification of 4000/75 which is about x53. It's not a lot and isn't going to show the likes of blood cells, but it should give an interesting view of small transparent objects." Did you know that bees wings are hairy?"

87 of 133 comments (clear)

  1. Forget x53, go x200 :) by grub · · Score: 5, Interesting


    53x? I have an Intel QX3 USB microscope which goes to 200x. In the name of science (yeah right), I used it to look at a Biore strip fresh from my nose. I didn't clean my nose for a while in preparation for this advancement of knowledge and the results are worth it.

    --
    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by BWJones · · Score: 1

      I didn't clean my nose for a while in preparation for this advancement of knowledge and the results are worth it.

      Yeah, well......that's disgusting. :-)

      --
      Visit Jonesblog and say hello.
    2. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by teamhasnoi · · Score: 1
      I used it to look at a Biore strip fresh from my nose. I didn't clean my nose for a while in preparation for this advancement of knowledge and the results are worth it.

      So that explains how you got that raise at work!

      Just remember, sustained periods of brown-nosing can lead to shortness of breath.

    3. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by brakk · · Score: 1

      I used one of those strips once and was very interested in looking at my own, but had no Idea how FUCKING DISCUSTING someone else's would be MAGNIFIED 200 TIMES!!

    4. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by tsetem · · Score: 2, Funny

      Don't know what's worse. Whether you've got the images hosted on your website, or I felt compelled to take a look for myself.

      Ewww. Neato, but Ewww. :)

    5. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by Midnight+Thunder · · Score: 1

      Given that Intel is no longer making these, does anyone know of another company who make a digital microscopes in the same price range?

      --
      Jumpstart the tartan drive.
    6. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by EnglishTim · · Score: 1

      May I just say you rule.

      I shall be purchasing some of these strips today and nicking my daughter's QX3...

      ObDisgusting:

      I saw the note about the Favicon.ico (Don't click - don't say I didn't warn you!), but it doesn't show up on mozilla. I knew what it was going to be but I was curious to see what it would look like when it was that small. I didn't realise that you could have these things at full size and the browser would scale them down. I was expecting a little 16x16 picture, but found myself to be looking in places where the sun ought not shine in full glorious detail. It's been a long time since I was tricked into seeing that image, and it was quite a shock to see it full size again. Oh, and I did all this at my work computer. Lovely.

    7. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by telstar · · Score: 1

      x53 ... x200? Pfft!

      I'm going with X10 ...
      Not only can you see bees wings, you can see semi-naked ladies...

    8. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by stm2 · · Score: 1

      It is NOT true the 200x advertised by Intel. They stat that is depends of monitor resolution, so they are not talking about optical resolution (witch is independent of how big your monitor/display device is). If you xerox copy a paper using 2X magnification, you will have a larger picture, but the REAL resolution is the same, because you won't be able to see more details than before (you will see things bigger, but NOT with more detail).
      Resolution means the power to separete 2 differents points.

      --
      DNA in your Linux: DNALinux
    9. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by drakaan · · Score: 1
      Damn you to hell...how am I supposed to *not* click on something that says not to. I hope to god I never see that picture again...that's just WRONG!

      ARRRGGGHHH!!! my EYES.

      --
      "Murphy was an optimist" - O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law
    10. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by EnglishTim · · Score: 1

      Damn, I did warn you!

      And whatever you do DON'T CLICK ON THIS LINK!

      I'm not fucking kidding, man!

    11. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by drakaan · · Score: 1
      Based on the facts that:

      a) I'm at work
      b) I recall quite vividly <shudder> the content of the last link

      I will write it down and go look at it on my workstation in the server room, which has no windows, one door, and nobody ever enters but me.

      --
      "Murphy was an optimist" - O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law
    12. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by drakaan · · Score: 1
      Okay, then.

      So, not only did I sneak off to the server room and type in a uri that I *knew* had to lead to something disgusting, I even resorted to a google search for "fecaljapan", since evidently a lot of slashdotters read your post, or the server is just broken.

      I think I have reached my quota of disgusting pictures related to human sphincters today.

      --
      "Murphy was an optimist" - O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law
    13. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by EnglishTim · · Score: 1

      My work here is done!

      I'm afraid I don't know the URLs of any more truly disguting pictures, sorry.

    14. Re:Forget x53, go x200 :) by bhtooefr · · Score: 1

      I think it's because favicon.ico is supposed to be in Windows ICO format, not JPEG format. It can't render a JPEG as an ICO, so it craps out (pun intended).

  2. bees wings are hairy? by Havokmon · · Score: 5, Funny
    That's just European bees. American bees wax.

    --
    "I can't give you a brain, so I'll give you a diploma" - The Great Oz (blatently stolen sig)
    1. Re: bees wings are hairy? by Dr+Caleb · · Score: 2, Funny
      American bees wax.

      I wondered what all the buzz was about. Neet!

      --
      "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme." Mark Twain
  3. Nice Christmas ornaments by sphealey · · Score: 4, Interesting
    My spouse has made some really nice Christmas ornaments this way by scanning dragonflys and butterflies, printing the result on very heavy paper, cutting out the outline of the insect, and mounting it to cardboard cut in the same shape. It is amazing the detail you can see in the wings and body with just the magnification of a scanner.

    I hate it when she leaves it to me to wash the scanner glass though!

    sPh

    1. Re:Nice Christmas ornaments by brakk · · Score: 3, Funny

      I hate it when she leaves it to me to wash the scanner glass though!

      Throw it in the dishwasher. Either it will work, or she will never ask you to clean anything ever again.

    2. Re:Nice Christmas ornaments by Channard · · Score: 1
      My spouse has made some really nice Christmas ornaments this way by scanning dragonflys and butterflies

      I hope she scans them after they're dead / stunned. I just had the vaguely disturbing mental image of her running around the garden, scanner in hand, cackling insanely as she attempts to snap the scanner shut on the flying insects.

    3. Re:Nice Christmas ornaments by sphealey · · Score: 1
      I hope she scans them after they're dead / stunned. I just had the vaguely disturbing mental image of her running around the garden, scanner in hand, cackling insanely as she attempts to snap the scanner shut on the flying insects.
      Not far from the truth, not far...

      Seriously, they are dead before scanning for two reasons (a) the process works best when they are semi-dry (b) with little kids in the house, you don't go around killing cute butterflys for no good reason. Not if you want to sit at your own dinner table without being shamed into silence anyway!

      sPh

  4. If you're REALLY interested by Hayzeus · · Score: 5, Informative
    You can also get an actual microscope. A good compound microscope can be had for less than $220 used (check ebay or various used scientific equipment sites). These typically monocular scopes usually offer 3 objectives of around 10x, 40x and 90-100x, giving a total possibly magnification of around 1000x with oil immersion.

    Want photographs? You can get surprisingly good results by simply holding a digital camera flush to the eyepiece. I have a few of these I did for fun here.

    Have fun.

    1. Re:If you're REALLY interested by BWJones · · Score: 3, Informative

      These typically monocular scopes usually offer 3 objectives of around 10x, 40x and 90-100x, giving a total possibly magnification of around 1000x with oil immersion.

      The problem with this is that you are restricted to very small fields unless you have very expensive objectives. (many hundreds to thousands of dollars for the objective alone) Even then, your field is restricted and this is why we have been employing photo mosaicing of digitally captured images to get around this problem for our research with images that are at 400-1000X magnification. The cool thing about using a scanner (for lower mag requirements) is that you do not have to perform the photomosaicing.

      --
      Visit Jonesblog and say hello.
    2. Re:If you're REALLY interested by mrtroy · · Score: 1

      Yes, they could

      But this is some interesting news for those of us who dont have an actual microscope. Finding a new use for existing common technology. You can find the speed of light lots of ways, but with marshmellows and a microwave works, and lots of students already have those.

      Sure, it wont be as accurate as other methods, just as this "microscoping" wont have as great as magnification, but it could let some kids have some fun. Hopefully more technology is geared towards child learning and schooling!

      --
      [I can picture a world without war, without hate. I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it]
    3. Re:If you're REALLY interested by Hayzeus · · Score: 1

      My point (at least the one I meant to make) is that if the experiments with the slide scanner scope sparks an interest, one can go further for surprisingly little money. I'm not disparaging the original article by any means.

    4. Re:If you're REALLY interested by tiled_rainbows · · Score: 1

      How do you find the speed of light with marshmaloows and a microwave? I've never heard of this, and I want to try it out.

    5. Re:If you're REALLY interested by NickFitz · · Score: 1

      Try looking here for starters, or just Google :-)

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      Using HTML in email is like putting sound effects on your phone calls. Just say <strong>no</strong>.
    6. Re:If you're REALLY interested by Si · · Score: 1

      Take the marshmallows and the microwave to your physics prof.
      Say "I will give you this fine microwave and these delicious marshmallows if you will tell me the speed of light".

      Presto! Instant knowledge!

      --


      Why is it that many people who claim to support standards have such atrocious spelling and grammar?
  5. Forensics by BWJones · · Score: 4, Informative

    People have been using scanners in this way for image forensics for years. We also used this method to get around image mosaicing large microscopy fields several years ago in an undergraduate biology class I took. (amazing what students come up with to avoid work) Now of course image mosaicing software is available to get around this problem, but it's good to see science stuff like this get out to the main stream. Perhaps this will also make it into a few junior high and high school classes as a cool exercise.

    --
    Visit Jonesblog and say hello.
    1. Re:Forensics by BetterThanCaesar · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Speaking of scanners and science. Remember this guy (as mentioned here)? We actually did something similar. 2400 dpi is enough for 78 rpm records, and you can get sound from vinyl. Of course, it's noisy, but you can still hear what the song is like.

      Scanners have real world applications! :-)

      --
      "Stop failing the Turing test!" -- Dilbert
    2. Re:Forensics by Computer! · · Score: 1

      That was one of the more exciting uses for computers I have seen in a long time. Maybe I am overreacting, but this guy is a genius. Thanks for the link.

      --
      If you fall off a building, go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will be like hey, free dummy
    3. Re:Forensics by wideBlueSkies · · Score: 1

      Awesome stuff. Simply awesome.

      I've been looking for a new hobby for a while. I think this may be it. :)

      Thank you for sharing the link buddy!

      wbs.

      --
      Huh?
  6. Save public tax dollars by Doesn't_Comment_Code · · Score: 1, Interesting


    This could be really good for schools. Find and old film scanner, or get one from a business. Then hook it up to a computer monitor.

    It's dirt cheap, provided you know the right people. And an entire class can all look at once.

    If schools would jump on stuff like this, there wouldn't be such a budget crisis and lack of money for everything else they want to do.

    --

    Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.
    1. Re:Save public tax dollars by aonaran · · Score: 1

      ...and the kids would only learn half as much about optics. Sounds like a plan to me.

    2. Re:Save public tax dollars by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      Or buy the Intel computer micriscope for 1/10th the price of a really bad shape used film scanner and get better results.

      This is great if you have the hyper-expensive device...otherwise buy the intel microscope and call it done with better images.

    3. Re:Save public tax dollars by Rogerborg · · Score: 2, Funny

      Good point. If every school in the country bought an old film scanner cheap, that would, uh... drive up the price of second hand film scanners. The problem is that "know[ing] the right people". Every school has to know an independent right person.

      It's like the regular Slashdot article on "How to build a reusable orbital launch vehicle for $12.75" based on parts bought on eBay. Sure, that's how you did it. Now that the cat's out of the bag, I'll be bidding against every excitable teen 1337 h4x0r with mommy's credit card.

      --
      If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    4. Re:Save public tax dollars by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      These things cost like $500 new at the cheapest. I think that even used you would still be better off just buying a cheap microscope that gets 400x like this one for $134.

    5. Re:Save public tax dollars by Doesn't_Comment_Code · · Score: 2, Insightful


      ALRIGHT

      For all of you who didn't pick this up, I'm talking about a FREE scanner. Like one from the back closet, or one that a business DONATES. Businesses do this all the time for tax write-offs. I hope this helps to end the stream of -well-if-every-school-starts-buying-these- comments.

      Hooking up equipment you already have will save money.

      --

      Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.
    6. Re:Save public tax dollars by Shadestalker · · Score: 1

      Schools lack money because of politics, not because they don't scrounge thrift stores, ebay and dumpsters for their classroom resources (in fact I bet many of them do).

    7. Re:Save public tax dollars by Jeremy+Erwin · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Of course, a film scanner is nearly useless for teaching microscopy skills-- moving the slide on the stage, filters, focusing, etc. The image isn't terribly clear at the higher magnifications--as the scanner wasn't designed to image anything but 35mm slides, And woe to any individual who wants to look at a wet sample.

  7. So... by Kedisar · · Score: 1, Funny

    does this mean I can now see Darl McBride's heart without an expensive microscope! Wheeee!

    1. Re:So... by ideatrack · · Score: 1

      What do I do if I want to see his integrity or his conscience though? Oh wait...

  8. in case of slashdotting...here's the bee wing by ih8apple · · Score: 4, Informative

    Since this seems like the type of site that will be slashdotted, I cached a copy of the bee wing image. Enjoy!

  9. Photocopier microscopy.. by Channard · · Score: 4, Informative

    .. has also been done, albeit with a lesser degree of success. I believe it appears in the Annals of Improbably Research collected book.

    1. Re:Photocopier microscopy.. by Hayzeus · · Score: 1

      Unfortunately, the subjects are usually somebody's ass...

  10. Re:My Results by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


    The wings are not the hairiest thing on a bee.

    True, but have you ever tried to spread those little legs?

    --
    Trolling is a art,
  11. Congratulations! by TheMidget · · Score: 1
    That favicon.ico, and a +5 Interesting. Well done!

    (Hint for the moderators: it's not the nose that's the most disgusting body part...)

  12. Re:My Results by Mattcelt · · Score: 1

    Yeah. Funny thing is, those female bees have a little prick! Unless they're a queen, in which case they don't have a prick. Go figure! Wow, the insect world is crazy sometimes!

    --
    And now for the obligatory Monty Python quote...

    "Half a bee, philsophically, must ipso facto half not-be. But can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee, when half the bee is not a bee, due to some ancient injury?"

  13. Cruel and Unusual by jolyonr · · Score: 2, Funny

    So, sure it's all big and clever to use a scanner as a microscope, but is it really that big and clever to pull the wing off a bee?

    I'm shocked! This sort of behaviour should not be promoted on Slashdot!!!!

    --


    Please read my Canon EOS tech blog at http://www.everyothershot.com
  14. Re:My Results - by teamhasnoi · · Score: 1
    It does take some work, but the results are well worth it.

    I love Science!

  15. Digital Dragonflies by airuck · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Digital Dragonflies has been around for many years and is the best example of scanning large insects I have ever seen.

    --
    First entomology, then virology, and finally bioinformatics systems. Bugs follow me wherever I go.
  16. Yes, I did.... by TheLevelHeadedOne · · Score: 2, Funny

    but it's been a long time since anyone asked me....Thanks for visiting the 9th Grade Biology Trivia (tm) store....

    --

    Twin or more? ITA
    Apache/Spring/La
  17. PCB documentation by fgm · · Score: 4, Interesting

    For years I've used a scanner as a cheap way to
    document mods to PCB's (printed circuit boards, not
    Polychlorinated Biphenyls). Even the tiny labels
    that sometimes appear on 0603 resistors are
    readable, and it documents what's there, rather
    than what I _think_ is there.

    However: some scanners have better depth of field
    than others. The ones which sweep a mirror under
    the document, rather than sweeping the sensors
    themselves, seem to have better depth of field.

  18. Scanner as camera??? by G4from128k · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Anybody ever attempt to hack their scanner into a camera? By disabling/removing the light source, placing a bit of frosted glass in the object plane and a lens in front, I would bet that one could make a linear-array camera. Image quality might suck, but it would be quite cool, nonetheless.

    I see old flatbed scanners at garage sales. As soon as I find one for $5, I might try to make a large format linear camera from the thing. I already have some lenses (from old dismantled photocopiers) that will be perfect for projecting an image onto a 8.5 x 11 "film" plane of the scanner.

    Any other scanner/camera hackers out there???

    --
    Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
    1. Re:Scanner as camera??? by tsa · · Score: 1

      Image quality might suck, but it would be quite cool

      I'm confused now.

      --

      -- Cheers!

    2. Re:Scanner as camera??? by exhilaration · · Score: 2, Informative
      Anybody ever attempt to hack their scanner into a camera?

      Building a Digicam from Scanner Elements links to this page

    3. Re:Scanner as camera??? by Aidtopia · · Score: 1

      Before I was able to afford a film scanner, I used a light-table and an NTSC-camcorder fed into a digitizing board to scan some slides. Pop the camcorder into macro mode, and press it right down on the slide. I got much better images than I expected. Saturation and illumination were great. Resolution left something to be desired.

    4. Re:Scanner as camera??? by G4from128k · · Score: 1

      exhilaration wrote:"Building a Digicam from Scanner Elements links to this page"

      WOW! Very very cool. But this hack is more ambitious than I had in mind. I'm talking about putting a flatbed scanner in the film plane of a large format camera, rather than extracting the CCD from a scanner.

      Thank you very much for the link, I must have been offline when /. ran this one.

      --
      Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
  19. Insensitive bastard! by UncleMediocre · · Score: 1

    Now, because of the slashdot effect, there's going to be a bunch of poor, pathetic little bees trying to fly with only one wing.

    I hope you're happy.

  20. Bees wings are hairy? by bigboard · · Score: 3, Funny

    Did you know that bees wings are hairy?

    So are female German shot putters. And let me tell you I didn't have to wrestle one on to my scanner to find that out.

    --
    Cynicism is the natural defence of the romantic.
  21. Slide projector by tsa · · Score: 1

    I heard somewhere that you can also use a slide projector for this. Not very nerdy but better magnification: put the sample you want to enlarge between two layers of transparent plastic in a slide frame and project on the wall/screen/whatever. Be aware that the lamp of the slide projector gets quite hot so the sample as well as the plastic have to be heat resistant.

    --

    -- Cheers!

  22. Yeah by superdan2k · · Score: 1

    Did you know that it's probably the surface of the flatbed that's "hairy"?

    --
    blog |
  23. Webcam as telescope by Frans+Faase · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I recently discovered that you can create a good telescope with some standard camera lens and a webcam. Just take of its lens (was easy with mine) and place it behind the lens at the proper distance and you get some magnification. It gives you some extra magnification compared to a 35 mm film because the sensor is much smaller. With a 500 mm lens, the moon was too big to fit on the computer screen! I also tried to photograph some ants in the back garden from the kitchen table, but the little animals didn't want to stand quiet.

    1. Re:Webcam as telescope by whaley · · Score: 1

      The effect is called field of view crop, and happens because the sensor is much smaller so only the center of the projected image is sampled. Because of this, small sensors need to have high density so at a big enlargement (from sensor to your monitor) you still get a decent picture.

      It's actually much like using a fine-grain film and then scanning the center part at high dpi thus blowing it up on screen.

  24. NatGeo moths by below_the_sea · · Score: 1

    In a 2001(?) issue of National Geographic there was a fantastic article on moths photographed with a hacked dia scanner. If I recall correctly it mentioned a resolution of up to a million dpi. Pictures of up to 1 meter in length were put on a wall and made into an exposition. Great stuff.

  25. large scale microscope scanning by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    We do a large amount of anatomy and use a Nikon film scanner with a microscope slide adaptor. It works at 4000 dpi (equivalent to about a 10x objective in resolution) and has greatly improved out throughput as it can do 3 full slides in about 2 minutes. For low resolution images(and archiving) this is the way to go.

    1. Re:large scale microscope scanning by whaley · · Score: 1

      That's very similar, only this guy used a Canon FS4000US, also 4000dpi and used unexposed (but developed) film to keep the items from falling into the scanner :)

  26. Re:Scanner as camera? Sucks vs. Cool? by G4from128k · · Score: 2, Informative

    Image quality might suck because most scanners have lighting systems that are appreciably brighter than the image projected by a lens. So the image might be dark. Moreover, the coupling of the imaging lens' projected image into the scanner optics would be imperfect and so the center of the image would probably be far brighter than the edges. Finally, the hacked scanner-camera would only work on motionless objects -- any movement during the long scanning time would create interesting artifacts.

    But it would be quite cool because you would have an umpteen megapixel camera. A 300 dpi flatbed would create an 8.4 megapixel image and a 600 dpi flatbed would provide a 33.6 megapixel image. A 4000 dpi slide scanner would lead to about a 21 megapixel camera.

    --
    Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
  27. finally! by joedoe · · Score: 1

    Finally! A use for the film scanner in the lab where I work. We have one in the room with the microscopes, and I've never been able to think of a use for it.

    --joedoe

  28. Did you know? by telstar · · Score: 1, Funny

    Did you know that 12-year-old Brianna LaHara was going to scan bees wings on her film scanner for her science project, but she had to sell it to cover her RIAA tab.

    Way to go RIAA ... Don't forget to stop by Noodle Kidoodle to get all the nation's nine year olds to sign your amnesty agreements.

    1. Re:Did you know? by gerardrj · · Score: 1

      So now thes "poor, impoverished little girl" living in public housing has:
      1. A computer
      2. A film scanner
      3. a high speed internet connection

      Damn, I wish I were impoverished.

      --
      Article X: The powers not delegated... by the Constitution...are reserved...to the people
  29. But to see his brain... by Nino+the+Mind+Boggle · · Score: 1

    You'll need something a bit more powerful.

    --
    ------ "Darn floor. Big bite." (Koko the gorilla's best attempt at explaining the experience of an earthquake.)
  30. Usin standard scanner for almost anything by Tsu+Dho+Nimh · · Score: 1
    I use flatbed scanners for anything that is flat or nearly flat: chips, circuit boards, plates. The depth of field of most scanner optics is 1/2 inch or more, and high-resolution scanners can get so close to a chip that you can see the mold overflow where the legs join the body.

    1. place item flat on glass
    2. cover with opaque backing (white, black, grey, or even a picture if you want a fast background
    3. test scan, and crop and color correct and muck about with image size using the scanner's preview software
    4. scan to a TIF and finish photoediting (with the GIMP, of course)

    If you have the cover at a slight slant, and with just enough clearance that you are not touching tiny items, you can get dropshadows behind them with no photoediting needed.

    1. Re:Usin standard scanner for almost anything by whaley · · Score: 1

      The scanner he used is a Canon FS4000US which can actually autofocus onto the subject. Because it's a film scanner that uses film holders (that slide into the scanner itself) and not a flatbed, you could only use thin objects. You need to have a way to keep the object in place so it won't fall out of the holder into the scanner. You are also limited to the size of a 35mm frame (or slightly larger)

  31. So I was at this red light . . . by mr_luc · · Score: 2, Funny

    So I was at this red light in a van with a bunch of friends. There was a yuppie-looking cool dude in front of us, on a motorcycle. He had a booth tan and spiky hair, and a booth-tanned halter-topped girlfriend sitting on the back.

    Hey, that's ok. That's great for him, in fact! Motorcycles are good, they're fun! But his license plate said:

    "IAMFLY"

    as in "I'm fly, baby", "I'm phat", "look at me, I am the stuff".

    On a motorcycle license plate??? I mean, you're so incredibly at the mercy of other motorists when you're on a motorcycle, you'd think he'd try to be a little less cocky, maybe with a license plate like "HITHERE" or "NICECAR" or "PLZ!RUNOVERME".

    So I rolled down the window, leaned out, and screamed at the top of my voice -- from a Ford Windstar minivan, at a crowded intersection, wearing a suit -- "I AM WINDSHIELD!!!!"

    He looked back, all confused -- and then the light turned green, and his girlfriend poked him, and he turned around and sped off.

    Anyways, the scanner glass and your story made me think of bugs and windshields and stuff.

    1. Re:So I was at this red light . . . by krlynch · · Score: 1

      I'm not sure he'd want a plate that said HIT HERE on it :-)

  32. Xerox Enlargement Microscopy by po8 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Allow me to recommend an article from Annals of Improbable Research, most easily available in one of their "Best Of" collections:

    David P. Cann and Phillip Pruna
    Xerox Enlargement Microscopy
    Annals of Improbable Research (1:2), March/April 1995
    This wonderful article describes how to image down to the level of single atoms or even subatomic particles, using nothing more than an ordinary photocopier!

    Too bad the film-scanner folks missed this: could have saved themselves a lot of work.

  33. Punctuation, people by Atario · · Score: 1

    I didn't know bees wings are hairy. I might have known bees' wings are, though. </nazi type=apostrophe>

    --
    "A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt
    1. Re:Punctuation, people by Havokmon · · Score: 1
      I didn't know bees wings are hairy. I might have known bees' wings are, though.

      Sorry Grammar Nazi, Comedy has no rules :)

      --
      "I can't give you a brain, so I'll give you a diploma" - The Great Oz (blatently stolen sig)
  34. cheaper alternative by reptilicus · · Score: 2, Funny

    Here's a cheaper way to get similar results. 1) Take a bee wing 2) Put it really close to your eye

  35. 53x is better than it sounds by exploder · · Score: 1

    I have a binocular dissection scope that has two settings, 10x and 30x. It's not for examining invisibly small objects, but it's fascinating to look at tiny objects with. You get a full 3-D image that enlarges a penny to the size of a dinner plate. I highly recommend it.

    It came with some 1.5x objectives that give it magnifications of 15x and 45x, but I haven't even put those in yet.

    --
    Yo dawg, I heard you like the Ackermann function, so OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
  36. I feel a song coming on... by bwcbwc · · Score: 1
    Is this wretched demi-bee,
    half-asleep upon my knee,
    some freak from a menagerie?
    NO, he's Eric the half-a-bee.

    As usual, a tip of the hat to Monty Python's Flying Circus

    --
    We are the 198 proof..
  37. In other news.... by zakezuke · · Score: 1

    Flatbed scanners used for video video conferencing? Twain support for video confrencing is not only practical, but solves that pesky privacy issue. When you want to actually participate in a video conference, all you need do is press your face to the glass and talk. When you need to leave the conference for a moment, people can't see what you are doing. Users who accidently leave their cameras on will only reveal what their ceiling looks like, or what the top of their scanner lid looks like.

    The Philly firedepartment has said that this a valued tool to reduce the number of false alarms. User at alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.genitals-on-scanner says that they've been using this technology for years and it's not just an office prank.

    --
    There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
  38. Gross! by HwangTyler · · Score: 1

    I couldn't look away. Tres bien. Bravo.

    --
    Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit.
  39. Funny :) by HwangTyler · · Score: 1

    eminem.

    --
    Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit.
  40. Funny :) by HwangTyler · · Score: 1

    ROTFLMAO. Bon Mot, tres bien.

    --
    Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit.
  41. I shot Pac microscopically by Spooge+Knight · · Score: 1

    SEVEN YEARS AGO