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Microsoft Wants to Project "Cool" Image
rocketjam writes "C-Net is reporting that Microsoft is working to get their products placed in popular TV shows like Fox's "24" and HBO's "The Wire" as part of a push from executive Jim Allchin called 'cool form factor'. Like MacDonald's recent hip-makeover marketing efforts, Allchin wants to engender a hip, consumer brand image for the company which is largely perceived as an enterprise software company. Microsoft would like to capture some of the cachet that Apple Computer has among the fashionable and Hollywood tech elite."
The newest 24 preview has Jack sitting infront of a 17" PowerBook, with a G5 in the background. They both look amazing. What would microsoft do? Have a WindowsXP box sitting on the desk, with him holding it up, looking at the camera and saying "For all you security needs, use windows" and promptly proceeds to blast a cap in it's ass.
Yet all we see it in is TechTV and the 7o'clock news due to the latest virus issue. :\
--
"I'm not bright. Big words confuse me. But Wanda loves me and that should be enough for you." - Cosmo
they're already cool... Word
I have it on good authority that Dr. Evil will be using BeOS.
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
Fucking Windows 98! Get Bill Gates in here! You told us Windows 98 would be faster, and more efficient, with better access to the Internet!
As Gates tries to defend Windows, the General blows his head off. I thought that was pretty cool.
(Place: Matrix Core, Time:Time? There is no time.)
Neo: "Trinity, you hack in, I'll keep Agent Smith busy. How much time you need?"
(Wack! Wack! Pow!)
Trinity: (Looks at Micro$oft Windoze(TM) login prompt) "We're in."
Sometimes I wish I was a plumber, then I'd know how to deal with other people's shit.
One way.
Chapter 11.
With style-retarded heads like Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer, they've got a good way to go. The reason that Apple has the image it does is STEVE JOBS. Face it, whether you like him or not (personally I do) he is a stylish man. Back in the 80s he always wore those black turtlenecks and trendy glasses. He KNOWS what style is. Unless someone want's to get the guys from Queer Eye to do a makeover on Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer, the business image is going to be hard to break. Besides, I can predict what's going to happen anyway. They will try to add coolness to their image and then proclaim success to the investors after six months regardless of the true outcome. Eventually everyone will want to look like Microsoft products because of the buzz surrounding the new look. The buzz that was self-perpetuating. This will work because most business folks don't have the slightest idea what style really is. They think "roughing it" is wearing a pair of khakis and a polo shirt to work on Fridays.
Un-news
"It looks like you are saving the world", offered Clippy. "Would you like help?"
"Just open a socket", growled Bauer.
"The number of Unix installations has grown to ten, with more expected." (Unix Programmer's Manual, 2nd ed.; june 1972)
All MS has to do is rewite some basic error messages and we go from...
This program has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down. Do you wish to generate an error report and send it to Microsoft?
to
Hey dude, Bill reckons you've been working so hard in Word that you deserve a break so we've closed it down for you. Go grab a diet soda (we've gotta watch that sugar rush!) or chill out by the water cooler for a while and then return refreshed to start all over again. We're so glad you've chosen to take a break we've even emailed Bill and told him you're not skipping on your personal time.
AT&ROFLMAO
Bill Gates: Mr. Simpson?
Homer: You don't look so rich...
Bill Gates: Don't let the haircut fool you, I am exceedingly wealthy.
Homer: [quietly] Get a load of the bowl-job, Marge!
Bill Gates: Your Internet ad was brought to my attention, but I can't figure out what, if
anything, Compuglobalhypermeganet does, so rather than risk competing with
you, I've decided simply to buy you out.
Homer: I reluctantly accept your proposal!
Bill Gates: Well everyone always does. Buy 'em out, boys!
[Gates' lackeys trash the room.]
Homer: Hey, what the hell's going on!
Bill Gates: Oh, I didn't get rich by writing a lot of checks! [insane laughter]
The butterfly isn't cool enough for you? Flying around without a jetpack isn't cool? Right. It's way freaking cool. They even use songs by Madonna and the Rolling Stones.
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
We all know what's going to happen now:
Yes, Longhorn will be renamed "Windows Extreme"
If they want to be more "hip" then they should improve the part of Windows that users see the most. The BSOD. They should make it animated with sound and some cool phrase , preferably from the list of Windows Haiku.
Slashdot Sig. version 0.1alpha. Use at your own risk.
IBM wanted people to think OS/2 was "cool", so the company began calling it "Warp", which to the people at the time who were likely to be old enough and powerful enough to make big purchases meant "bend out of shape in such a way as to possibly render useless".
Well, I'm here to report that it worked. IBM did in fact succeed in associating the word "cool" with OS/2. IBM lost a "cool" billion dollars on OS/2. In the years immediately following, IBM lost another "cool" billion dollars. That's positively frigid.
OS/2 is still "cool" in the sense that, because it is dead, it is no longer warm.
So, that's a story about a big company trying to be cool.
If you read the article,you'll see that HP is in on this.
Hewlett Packard, whose marketing department was described as being so inept that, "If they had to sell sushi, they'd describe it as cold, dead, raw fish."
HP is so dull they make Gates and Ballmer look like MTV VJs in comparison.
www.lucernesys.comHorizon: Calendar-based personal finance
They could even advertise in a cool comic! Lucifer, the Sandman followup. :-)
" Why settle with the lesser of two evils?
Forget Cthulhu -- go Microsoft!
Let's go to a hot place today! "
Karma: Excellent (My Karma? I wish...:-( )
So does the Borg, but I don't think that'll happen soon.
What? Don't tell me you've never seen this video of the fearless leader Ballmer? Or perhaps this picture of Bill showing off his awesome fashion sense? I don't think you can get much cooler than those guys.
They're gonna have a pretty rough time trying to convince everyone that worms are actually cool...
Following this line of reasoning, MS needs product placement on The Soprano's, and maybe a story line about how Tony wants to expand from cartage into software license enforement, but is scared off by the aggressive tactics of the Business Software Alliance.
spraypaint butterflies, hearts and peace signs all over downtown sidewalks. Seemed to work for IBM. Oh wait.
Now it's Cool Screen of Death!
Jack: Nina, I need that intel on the terrorists now... What's the hold up?
Nina: Sorry Jack, but there was a hole in the firewall and the worm that's out on the Net has been infecting our workstations. Microsoft released a patch, and we've been installing it, but it doesn't work on all the systems. And whoever released the worm has it programmed to attack Microsoft's site as well so it's really slow going.
Jack: Can't IT just download one copy of it and distribute it to each machine in our network to expedite things... We really need that intel so we can track the bomb... Now...
Nina: Ummm, IT tried that, but in Windows 2004, Microsoft has a global ID that's registered to each system and it's checked whenever an update is requested for download. When the software we were running expired and needed to be updated, we also had to upgrade the operating system, and we didn't know this latest registration feature was in it. Justice's lawyers are negotiating with Microsoft now, but I don't know how long that will take... It shouldn't take too much longer for me to update the systems...
*Sound Effect*: Nuclear bomb shockwave blast...
*End of Scene... Go To Commercial*
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Oh yeah, Microsoft products will definately play a role in 24. I for one, welcome the entry into the show so the average person can see just what the threat to national security Microsoft's products are...
Like MacDonald's recent hip-makeover marketing efforts
Yeah, but I really despise the new McDonald's 'hip' commercials! If Microsoft wants to do the same thing, I'll probably wind up hating...
oh wait, nevermind
Punctanym: alternate spelling of words using punctuation or numerals in place of some or all of its letters; see 'leet'
"This thing is, they have no taste. And I don't mean that in a small way, I mean it in a big way."
- Steve Jobs on Microsoft