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Ridiculous Game Character Names Exposed

Posted by simoniker on from the like-super-mario dept.

Thanks to 1UP for their chart of the most ridiculous videogame character names ever. Among the crazed picks are Higharolla Kockamamie from Snake's Revenge ("How many 8-year-olds of the time were expected to get the Ayatollah Khomeini reference here is questionable"), Rocket Billy Redcadillac from Gungrave O.D. ("Here's a name so gloriously stupid, the mind protests at being asked to accept it"), and Fred Askare & Paula Abghoul from Castlevania IV ("Presumably from the same translation department that gave us Love Chaney, Jr. and Boris Karloffice.") Any other nominations?

66 comments

  1. the best one is missing by jmaatta · · Score: 3, Funny

    They forgot Guybrush Threepwood!

    1. Re:the best one is missing by psp · · Score: 2, Interesting

      The name Guybrush comes from that they called the file with the then-unnamed player guy.brush, because all SCUMM characters are called brushes.

    2. Re:the best one is missing by Decaffeinated+Jedi · · Score: 2, Informative
      From The Secret of Monkey Island:
      Pirate: Ahoy there, stranger.
      Guybrush: My name's Guybrush Threepwood. I'm new in town.
      Pirate: Guybrush Threepwood? Ha ha ha!!! That's the stupidest name I've ever heard!
      Guybrush: I don't know... I kind of like 'Guybrush.'
      Pirate: But it's not even a name!
      Guybrush: Well, what's YOUR name?
      Pirate: My name is Mancomb Seepgood.
      Heh.
      --
      DecafJedi
      my weblog: apropos of something
    3. Re:the best one is missing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > because all SCUMM characters are called brushes Close, but not quite. If you use the graphics editor Deluxe Paint (by Electronic Arts), sprite-type graphics (as opposed to full-screen pictures) are saved as "filename.brush". In this case, they were apparently using the name "guy".

    4. Re:the best one is missing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > because all SCUMM characters are called brushes

      Close, but not quite. If you use the graphics editor Deluxe Paint (by Electronic Arts), sprite-type graphics (as opposed to full-screen pictures) are saved as "filename.brush". In this case, they were apparently using the name "guy".

      I will remember to use the 'Preview' option.
      I will remember to use the 'Preview' option.
      I will remember to use the 'Preview' option.
      ...

  2. Mark of the Wolves by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    No Kushnood Butt?

  3. These aren't stupid, but by SpookWarfare · · Score: 1

    I really like that bosses in Mario 3 had punk rock names like Wendy O. Koopa and Iggy Koopa. I'd imagine these were added when the games were localized, much like the other "bad" names mentioned previously.

  4. Donkey Kong? by Illissius · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's just a translation error so I don't know if it counts, but if it does, then it beats all the rest hands down.

    --
    Work is punishment for failing to procrastinate effectively.
    1. Re:Donkey Kong? by Lars+T. · · Score: 1
      Now that reminds me of my "favourite" German Simpsons translation blooper:
      "Entschuldige, du King Kong-Esel, du bist leider keine Zeichnung mehr!"
      --

      Lars T.

      To the guy who modded me down from perfect to terrible Karma - Apple haters still suck

    2. Re:Donkey Kong? by The+Evil+Couch · · Score: 1

      Monkeys aren't donkeys! Quit messing with my head!

      --
      The World's Worst Webcomic!
    3. Re:Donkey Kong? by jo42 · · Score: 1


      Mebbe because Kong was hung like a Donkey???

  5. So, the right one? by SharpFang · · Score: 1

    I always wondered what does that have in common with donkeys. So what would be the RIGHT translation for that?

    --
    45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
    1. Re:So, the right one? by DarthAle · · Score: 1

      I've seen two explanations on the name Donkey Kong on the Web, the first one which seems more plausible to me is that the real name was supposed to be Monkey Kong. The other explanation is that the name is a rough translation of the Japanese term 'stubborn monkey' which sounds a bit far fetched..

    2. Re:So, the right one? by NonSequor · · Score: 1

      The Monkey Kong one seems less plausible to me. How the hell does something go into production without someone who knows what the name is supposed to be looking at it?

      The mistranslation thing seems more reasonable when you cansider that Japan is a country with a knack for mangling foreign languages.

      --
      My only political goal is to see to it that no political party achieves its goals.
    3. Re:So, the right one? by Aliencow · · Score: 1

      I cansider you to mangle your own language..

    4. Re:So, the right one? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In Soviet Russia, language mangles YOU!

    5. Re:So, the right one? by Repton · · Score: 1

      Here is Snopes on the origin of the name "Donkey Kong".

      --
      Repton.
      They say that only an experienced wizard can do the tengu shuffle.
  6. Other names... by Hackie_Chan · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Duke Nukem, Serious Sam, Max Payne...

    --

    What's so bad about being lazy? What if there was a war and nobody showed up?
    1. Re:Other names... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ^-- so said by Hackie Chan.

  7. but coming in 1st place... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    *drum roll* ... .....

    CmdrTaco!

  8. Joe King by Khalek · · Score: 1

    The lead character in the game Flight of the Amazon Queen is called "Joe King"...

    1. Re:Joe King by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Joe King, that's just fucking crazy. Joe King. I don't know why that wasn't in the fucking article?!

  9. What's on the developer's desk? by carndearg · · Score: 2, Funny
    A former employer of mine published the instantly forgetable "Action adventure" game Perfect Assassin. This was a rather pedestrian fixed camera 3D puzzle solving game for DOS and Playstation which might have caused some interest in 1994 but released in 1997 it sank without trace. Some publishers are stupid enough to sign any old rubbish.

    It featured a cast of characters whose names were sourced from whatever happened to be on the develper's desk at the time. I cant remember them all but the two that stick in my mind are G'set Kasse (Cassette case) and J'am J'ah (Jam jar).

    Who said creativity was dead in the games industry?:)

    --
    Oxford Dictionaries Online
  10. Daikatana by BlueLightning · · Score: 1

    Of course, there's always Daikatana's "Superfly Johnson"...

    What were they thinking, indeed...

  11. Kokotoni Wilf by adelayde · · Score: 1

    I always thought that Kokotoni Wilf, from the game that I can't remember the name of, but I think was made by Elite in the mid eighties for Sinclair Spectrum and Commodore 64, was a little odd. I think it was some kind of bizzare play on Jet Set Willy. Not sure.

  12. Remember Chrono Trigger? by ProgrammerCat · · Score: 2, Insightful
    Magus' three henchmen were named after people from bands that were popular at the time the game was written:
    • Ozzie (Ozzy Osbourne)
    • Slash (Guns 'n Roses)
    • Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
    Oh, and there was a Lemmy Koopa (after Lemmy Kilminster from Motorhead) at one point, too. I think he was in Super Mario World for SNES.
    --
    *meow!*
    1. Re:Remember Chrono Trigger? by Spleener12 · · Score: 1

      This was actually a change. In the Japanese version, they were named after condiments (Soy Sauce, Vinegar, and Mayonaise(sp?), if I recall correctly.) This became a problem when the sequel came out and one of the 40-some playable characters' names was Slash, which they had to change to Nikki in the US version to avoid confusion.

    2. Re:Remember Chrono Trigger? by Hes+Nikke · · Score: 1

      that explains salt and pepper! (what morons)

      --
      Don't call me back. Give me a call back. Bye. So yeah. But bye our, well, but alright we are on a shirt this chill.
    3. Re:Remember Chrono Trigger? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Oh, and there was a Lemmy Koopa (after Lemmy Kilminster from Motorhead) at one point, too. I think he was in Super Mario World for SNES.

      Yes, but he was also in SMB3. All the Koopa kids are in both games, but use different attacks and occur in a changed order.

    4. Re:Remember Chrono Trigger? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Iggy, Lemmy, Wendy O., Morton Koopa Jr., Larry, Roy, and Ludwig. Certainly not in order, but there they are.

  13. Dingoctopogina by LiberalApplication · · Score: 2, Interesting
    My favorites:

    1) Dingo Jehuty (PS2 - Zone of Enders 2)
    2) Decoy Octopus (PS1 - Metal Gear Solid)
    3) Quattro Vagina (PS1 - Gundam: Char's Counterattack)

    We've got a dog, an 8-legged spy, and something which can only be theorized to be multi-cunted. Oh the number of times I've hit "game-over" because I was too busy giggling.

    1. Re:Dingoctopogina by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Poor Dingo had an even worse name, actually: Dingo Egret. Someone buy Konami a book of English baby names or something. These names are just getting ridiculous.

  14. Solid Snake by Scrameustache · · Score: 1


    I did enjoy that sexy woman's voice telling me "Impressive snake!" all the time in VR Missions though...

    --

    You can't take the sky from me...

  15. Hate to be a stickler but... by jx100 · · Score: 1

    That game with Higharolla Kockamamie isn't Metal Gear II. It's a cheap knockoff made by Ultra Games called "Snake's Revenge". The games in the real series aren't quite that silly.

    1. Re:Hate to be a stickler but... by FortissimoWily · · Score: 1

      "It's a cheap knockoff made by Ultra Games called "Snake's Revenge"."
      I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Ultra Games was an alternate name used by Konami themselves in order to get around Nintendo's limit on the number of games per year one company could release. Although, you're right in the fact that the game wasn't made by the team responsible for others in the series. ;)

    2. Re:Hate to be a stickler but... by jx100 · · Score: 1

      heh.. I suddenly remembered that my copy of Metal Gear I for NES has an "Ultra Games" logo on the title screen.

    3. Re:Hate to be a stickler but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The article didn't state that Snake's Revenge was Metal Gear 2.

      You have corrected a non-mistake.

    4. Re:Hate to be a stickler but... by jx100 · · Score: 1

      funny, it did say that earlier...

      must be one of those "stealth" updates...

  16. Master Chief by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Isn't that the worst name ever?

    1. Re:Master Chief by MadocGwyn · · Score: 1

      Thats a rank not a name, he has a real name just is not used in the games, its in the book however.

      --
      Jesus saves, everyone else takes full damage from the fireball.
  17. Not only games [OT] by Kidbro · · Score: 1

    Yep, a bit off topic, but there are some interesting ones in movies too. How about Pussy Galore?

    --
    May we live long and die out
    1. Re:Not only games [OT] by JDWTopGuy · · Score: 1

      That's just blatant "this is a movie for horny guys" content. One of the bond movies was called Octopussy if I recall... 8 of 'em? I mean sheeezzz...

      And let's not get started on what kind of dumb whore you'd have to be to play a character named "Pussy Galore"...

      --
      Ron Paul 2012
  18. Una Cum by cwsaylor · · Score: 1

    Una Cum from Storm, 1986 Mastertronic.

  19. Pattern of note by SpittingTrashcan · · Score: 1
    Most of these names are from Japanese games or from localizations thereof. I'm not particularly surprised by either of these: I suspect the Japanese construct "English" names based solely on whether they have an interesting sound, without any real consideration of meaning. I personally find this somewhat chauvinistic, as I'm sure the Japanese would be rather upset if we Americans mangled Japanese words in similar fashion (as we occasionally do).

    As for localization, a lot of it is done by people who are considerably less clever than they think they are.

    1. Re:Pattern of note by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "occasionally?"

      Let me guess, you don't speak Japanese.

      "Daikatana" - nuff said.

  20. Cmdr Taco by Golias · · Score: 1
    Cmdr Taco.

    Okay, so it's a user name, rather than a game NPC, but I mean, come on. It sounds like something you would call a lesbian when trying to pick a fight with her.

    --

    Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

    1. Re:Cmdr Taco by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Whereas your name sounds like an Asian with a lisp trying to recall the big guy from that Bible story.

    2. Re:Cmdr Taco by Golias · · Score: 1
      Whereas your name sounds like an Asian with a lisp trying to recall the big guy from that Bible story.

      Then you are pronouncing it wrong. Golias is the mythical Patron Saint of the goliards.

      --

      Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

    3. Re:Cmdr Taco by Golias · · Score: 1

      Oh, and Saint Golias is believed by some scholars to be satirically derived from "Goliath", but it is typically pronounced closer to "Gall-ee-us"

      --

      Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

    4. Re:Cmdr Taco by RedCard · · Score: 1

      Golias (176380) wrote:

      >Then you are pronouncing it wrong. Golias is the mythical Patron Saint of the goliards.

      >Oh, and Saint Golias is believed by some scholars to be satirically derived from "Goliath", but it is typically pronounced closer to "Gall-ee-us"

      Well La-de-freakin-da, somebody here's sure all sniffity about the sanctity of their nick!

    5. Re:Cmdr Taco by Golias · · Score: 1
      I don't know if I'd call it "sniffity." The comment was just an opportunity to explain where the hell it came from.

      I was mostly just kidding about the CmdrTaco comment as well. The discussion was about bad game names, and a lot of n00bs like to enter "CmdrTaco" as their handle in networked games. I'm not sure if it's because they are fans or because they are hoping people will think it's the real deal... but it's kind of silly either way. Slightly off topic since it's supposed to be a discussion of names of characters created by game designers, but it was the first thing that came to mind when the question was raised, and it kind of amused me to say it. (Perhaps because of all those slash polls where "CmdrTaco" is one of the options.)

      --

      Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

  21. yes, really. by xgamer04 · · Score: 1

    Some arcade fighting game I remember having a playable robot named "MILF2001" (maybe it was a different number, i don't know). I don't think that name was localized.

    --
    When you look at the state of the world, how can you not become a radical, liberal anarchist?
  22. Really bad name by Tikiman · · Score: 1

    "Skullomania", from Streat Fighter EX, probably the lamest chararacter from the franchise

    See Skullomania

  23. Sierra/Dynamix's old Rise Of The Dragon characters by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The old Sierra/Dynamix game Rise Of The Dragon had you playing a guy named Blade Hunter in his quest to do, I dunno, something or other.

    Yup. Blade Hunter. But that's not even the name that this post is about.

    Along the way, you meet a couple characters named Fu Bar and Sna Fu.

  24. Hmm by Black+Hitler · · Score: 1

    Well, "Revolver Ocelot" leaps to mind. Also, any of the boss names from the Mega Man X series. "Infinity Mijinion," "Squid Adler," "Duff McWhalen," etc.

    1. Re:Hmm by pyrrhonist · · Score: 1

      Well, the whole Solid/Liquid Snake thing was pretty bad. I was honestly expecting the boss in MGS2 to be Gaseous Snake, but thankfully, they didn't do that.

      --
      Show me on the doll where his noodly appendage touched you.
    2. Re:Hmm by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      As I recall, the bosses in Mega Man X 5 were named after the members of Guns N' Roses. I thought they were pretty dumb until I found that out, too. Also, as the series has progressed, the translations have gotten lazier and lazier. X6 actually has voice acting, but they didn't bother translating it at all. Not that they could have found any english-speakers that could read the horrible translation anyway.

  25. Castlevania by Firehawke · · Score: 1

    For reference, all of the names mentioned for Castlevania 1 (Boris Karloffice, etc) were one-off parodies of famous horror film stars. It looks very deliberate to me because of the precise way each name was changed. They couldn't have used the real names for obvious reasons, but still managed to get across their joke effectively.

  26. from Kung Fu Chaos, XBox by Major+Wedgie · · Score: 1

    Shoa Ting, film director. Master Sho Yu, Kung Fu Master. Captain Won Ton, Professional Wrestler. Ninja Fu Hiya, Ninja.

    1. Re:from Kung Fu Chaos, XBox by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      <voice type="Ninja_Fu_Hiya"> Do you see my ninjaness? &lt/voice>

  27. Mistranslation by Jhonny · · Score: 1

    My favorite was Professer Oat in a mistranslation I saw of pokemon green. His best line was "when I am young I am a very serious pokemon trainer"

    --
    DUKEY!
  28. I'm with you 99%. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Instead they brought us Solidus Snake. Urk...

  29. Final Fantasy V... by Lathan · · Score: 1

    The main character's default name was "Butz."

    Honorable mention -- in Morrowind, a dead tax collector was named Processus Vitellius... sounds like someone at Bethsoft was reading the Asterix books.